The men must keep masturbation diaries, wear ankle monitors, and even use penile circumference gauges.
But shaken baby syndrome has become a doubtful diagnosis in the ensuing years.
"We thought they helped people."
Something about camping seems to turn 21st century worriers into parents with positively Spielbergian nonchalance.
"I didn't think it was a big deal," says Kim Blalock. "My son is perfectly fine."
Smartphones and stranger danger keep kids inside, but the laws are improving.
"You had the most right-wing members of the legislature signed on with most left-wing members."
"I do not hold any bitterness toward anybody."
The Reasonable Childhood Independence bills restore basic freedoms to kids and their families.
Evaluating risk is hard in an era of parenting panic.
Spoiler: She was fine.
No freedom for kids until they're 11.
Paging Encyclopedia Brown: Someone has stolen childhood.
Perhaps young people would be better served by having access to more job sampling opportunities.
"I'm getting it out there to make people aware," said JaNay Dodson in an interview.
"Once you have the Scarlet Letter, it doesn't go away until you're gone."
Living under constant adult supervision should not be a government mandate.
Experts speak of "society's growing intolerance for the sounds of children at play."
"Was this something heinous or was it something of a lesser nature, was it completely harmless?"
"My mom used to have to do the same thing when we were young."
"They were just doing their jobs."
No need to follow the stultifying advice from Parents magazine on how to "Supercharge Every Storytime."
"She was charged with violating the Reopening Ontario Act."
The mom got the kid back, but not the car.
"No injuries were reported."
Second-guessing other people's parenting decisions has become a national pastime.
Another year of unnecessary fear.
Everyday parenting decisions should not put people at risk of getting arrested, losing their kids, or being listed on a state registry for child endangerment.
"Ensure all sledding equipment is in good condition, with no cracks or sharp edges."
"I pulled the kids and I'm homeschooling."
Kids need more space to explore weird pastimes and obsessions.
We're not criminalizing danger. We're criminalizing childhood independence.
"Parents feel a tremendous obligation to make life easier for their kids."
A mother of three children—ages 9, 10, and 11—just can't convince the principal to let them walk home.
This basically never happens.
"Residence restrictions do not decrease and are not a deterrent for sexual recidivism."
"If you're on that registry, you're bad."
"Please don't let me die back here."
"My daughter can have five friends over for a sleepover without my being fingerprinted and federally background-checked."
While script may wire the brain, connect to history, and come more naturally to many kids, digital print is winning.
Many alleged perpetrators, no actual victims.
"We are writing to ask you to update your Halloween safety guidance to include considerations related to COVID-19."
Judge: "America's founding generation... knew their fair share of unwelcome constables."
The crazy plan was called off after parents sensibly complained.
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