The Independents

Tonight on The Independents: New Year's Hangover, Featuring TV's Andy Levy, Supermodel Carol Alt, Money-Maker Charles Payne, Michael Malice, and More!


He needs to be Stopped. |||

Tonight's episode of The Independents (Fox Business Network, 9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, repeats three and five hours later) is dedicated to the important subject of hangover cures for the new year. Party Panelists Michael Malice (self-appointed freedom-hero) and TV's Andy Levy (Red Eye co-host) will offer their proposed fixes to police reform, government spending, and civil liberties vis-à-vis national security. They will also compete in a mid-show game concerning the magical properties of alkie-hol. Also, the co-hosts (and the good people of New York) will offer their own favorite cures for alcoholic, economic, and even hoarding hangovers.

Fox News Channel Digital Politics Editor Chris Stirewalt will break down what the GOP-led Congress will do know that they've woken up to power. Fox Business Making Money host Charles Payne will talk about how to fulfill the title of his show after the Christmas binge. And supermodel Carol Alt, who is approximately 3,000 feet tall, will break down her best fitness tips.

So take a long shower, eat a greasy burger, hoist up your Bloody Mary, and let's get un-hung! Follow The Independents on Facebook at, follow on Twitter @ independentsFBN, hashtag us at #TheIndependents, and click on this page for more video of past segments.

NEXT: Feds Will Prosecute David Petraeus for Leaking Documents to Mistress

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  1. …and let’s get un-hung!

    Not possible for some of us. HA!

    Malice and Levy? I’m just going to pretend this is a repeat.

  2. The ways to cure a hangover. Drink excessively constantly. After a year or so… Tolerance math kicks in… Then, just back off occash with some fucking healthy shit like Naked juices and dumb bell workouts…

    I just put on way to much fuckin Dolce Gabanna cologne because my hot wife just entered the compound… Shit’s burning my fucking nostrils… What the living FUCK!

    1. All you’ve done is masked your natural, super-sexy pheromones. All those alcohol molecules and dumb bells have clouded your judgment.

      1. This thread’s stripper pole has been mounted by a glorious demon from the vestiges of hell and it is called the Fist Bikini.

    2. I just put on way to much fuckin Dolce Gabanna cologne

      Spray and walk away.

      1. I live in a fucking sweet cottage in a woods haunted by the wolf… sweet Mulatto… no walking away… I must own the overwhelming mist…

        1. What is meant by that axiom is that the proper way to apply cologne is to spray a mist cloud of the scent in the air and then and walk into the cloud in front of you.

          And know you know.

          1. I am agile not heroic.

            Heroic is way fucking superior to agile.

    3. You’re doing it wrong. You’re married, why do you need cologne?

      1. Well… we do have lovers but after 20 + fucking years of the mirage… its kinds of sort of cool to tweak her with magic smells…

        We fuckd a couple of nights ago and it was like 3 in the morning…

        I’d been drinkin as usual and she’d been over-worked as usual….

        i went to bed at like 2…I jacked off at like 12 to a 3 some… youd think like what the fuck no sex violence here…


        I felt her knee touch me and i felt hunger.

        a rage.

        wat. the. fuk.

        the tsunami of desire hit me… she gripped me as a man before she touched me… I felt clamped like a humongous whore wanted all my atoms…

        I lay there not several nights ago and then she threw the blankets back and stripped her clothes from her petite and fucking awesome body- except for her pajama top… she grabbed my hard cock and literally jammed it into her wet pussy and in the slight dark this woman of 20 plus I’ve been married to jerked her shirt off her… sweet shoulder… a shoulder… a gorgeous angelic shoulder… my cock in her pussy I bent down and sucked her sweet sweet shoulder… thrusting hard over and over…. she came over and over. … and then the vagina clench … I was drunk and this sweet lady of the galaxy cam but would NOT let me sleep until the cock was cleaned from its cum…. her shoulder and breasts in my mouth and the violence of her vaginal walls resulted in a galactic orgasm… my cum spurted everywhere… and we slept…

        1. Sex tears… wow… best fukin orgasm ever and best connection over… i’m sorry I have to die… Life is short…

          Life is not long. You might be 22 here… think. realize. Don’t get fucked up with the details that popular culture forces you to submit to.


          We don’t live long. Your jealousy, hatred, or fear CAN nip a short life in the bud. None of us live past a few years…

  3. “supermodel Carol Alt”

    *Technically* you’re not a ‘supermodel’ unless you make $10,000 a day, can fly, and melt steel with laser beams that shoot from your eyes.

    1. So these technikal supra bodies boil their sperm facials… seriously after a life lived yanking off Mickey Mouse dick because he supplies my cranium with mysterious trips I’ve never smelt laser-burnt American man cum…

    2. Fine. Think what you want, aging supermodel Carol Alt

      1. Aging supermodels. Silent v sez you need to not slip your vaginal vibrations on his dick.

  4. I’ll just post this here. My democratic socialist friend and I were discussing Obama’s community college proposal. After claiming this would just inflate a CC bubble like government has already done with university education she said:

    Not surprised you’d disagree with it. But either way, maybe opening access to community college and going back to its mission of educating the COMMUNITY and not needing to be an advanced student will help filter people out of the University level? People will realize they can do the jobs they want without spending 4 or 5 years in school and spending $30k+. Many community colleges have decreased classes in the past 10 years, so there are plenty of spare rooms on many campuses, although not on all. Most cost would go to hiring staff– which in turn stimulates the economy because more people with higher degrees will have higher paying jobs. Details haven’t been outlined yet, maybe the Feds will cut spending from other things (like military would be a pretty cool place to cut from) and provide the remaining amount of money states need to run these colleges for free or very low cost. I mean ultimately I know you won’t agree with most things Obama has/will said/done/thinks about, but you can’t disagree that hiring more professors won’t increase the amount of people with Masters & PhDs who have good paying jobs.

    I hardly know where to begin with this one.

    1. but you can’t disagree that hiring more professors won’t increase the amount of people with Masters & PhDs who have good paying jobs.

      Please inform Ms. Doofus that community colleges are hoping on the online bandwagon in droves because they are able to scale up class sizes without hiring more faculty.

      1. And the teaching ranks in cc include a very large percentage of adjunct/part-time instructors.

        1. Indeed. Last I checked it was hovering around 75 to 80 percent.

      2. “Please inform Ms. Doofus that community colleges are hoping on the online bandwagon in droves because they are able to scale up class sizes without hiring more faculty.”

        Besides which, why is it a positive value if more people with advanced degrees have jobs?
        Pretty sure the cart is supposed to be behind the horse.

        1. Zero sum. Cutting defense expenditures throws a lot of PhDs out of work. Then they can be adjuncts at CCs for 1/4 their current pay. Nice idea she has there.

    2. Education is centuries ago.

      It hasn’t evolved because of unions and business.

      Education transcends societal ass-licking and perceived states of elitism.

      Many supra successfuls break a dump truck of rules.

      Society forces rules. True success breaks rules. College force rules. The greatest successes have broken every fucking rule known to man.

      Modern society is not ready for pioneers because it teaches conformity.

      Who conforms at the top?

    3. but you can’t disagree that hiring more professors won’t increase the amount of people with Masters & PhDs who have good paying jobs.

      Please, Mr. Taxman! Take more of my money to help the poor the sick, oh, uh, I mean, people with Masters & PhDs. They so dearly need the help.

    4. My main question is, who are these people that don’t go to Community Fucking College because it’s too expensive?

      1. Community college in 1987 cost like 700 bologna sammiches…

    5. “I hardly know where to begin with this one.”

      Tear it to pieces

      “maybe opening access to community college”

      – nothing about “paying for something for free” changes “access”. Everyone can ‘access’ things with their own money. Its just when the state pays for it, prices rise exponentially and *actual access* will decline, because now EVERYONE can attend, overwhelming the resources.

      – Quality of actual education is also guaranteed to *decline* = because when YOU aren’t paying for the service, all they care about is getting you enrolled. they get paid regardless of whether you learn.

      “going back to its mission of educating the COMMUNITY “

      – going back? its what they already do.

      “stimulates the economy because more people with higher degrees will have higher paying jobs”

      – the amount of high-paying jobs isn’t driven by the ‘supply’ of education. You’ll just get more bus-drivers with Bachelors Degrees. Why do we need that?

      ” maybe the Feds will cut spending from other things”

      I think this person needs their own College Degree revoked. That’s weapons-grade retarded.

    6. ” you can’t disagree that hiring more professors won’t increase the amount of people with Masters & PhDs who have good paying jobs.”



      1. Circles are racist

        1. I thought geometry was patriarchal and hetero-normative.

          1. Isn’t that racist?

            1. Geometry’s first priority is being sexist and transphobic, then it gets around to oppressing the other races. Keep up with the memos, Sevo.

              1. Nonsense. Geometry is exceptionally comfortable with transitivity. Why some of its best friends are cross products.

    7. They’re effectively suggesting that by handing out ‘college degrees’ that jobs which REQUIRE college degrees will magically follow.

      Not that the existing jobs which require college degrees wont’ simply start requiring Masters Degrees because they’re swamped with applications by Idiots with rubber-stamped diplomas.

  5. Meet the ultimate libertarian:

    I also found an x-ray of Agile Cyborg:…..090193.jpg

    1. I think this digital revelation slipped into the secretive valley of the fulgids.

      Hammer me, bro. Right the fuck into that town, sweet fulgid.

      1. WHAT the FUCK is A FULGID?

      2. [Jersey mobster voice]

        Ayy, I’m jus’ breakin’ ya balls.

      3. It must be Friday

    2. That video gave me a hard on. it also made me grateful for HD.

  6. I don’t have enough booze for this episode.

    I really should have planned ahead

    1. I’m just coming off my Scotch buzz

  7. Lamborghini designed Smartphone on the market.…..martphone/

    Have $4000 to spend?

    1. Not wasting it on that.

  8. Today at the gym, I was watching MSNBC’s coverage of the terror attacks. It was a little to hard to hear them because their heads were buried in the sand.

    Idiot #1 said “this was not a random attack by mad men- they had a goal and an ideology”. Gee, what tipped you off? The choice of the target? The slogans they shouted? The background of the attackers?

    Idiot #2 said “but how could they have gotten weapons?” A semi-idiot answered his question by revealing a SHOCKING fact: AK-47s can be disassembled so they are easier to smuggle! Idiot #2 sat in stunned silence.

    Idiot #3 said we can’t blame this on Islam because that will just lead to MORE terrorism.

    Idiot #4 said we need to intervene more in the Middle East, because lack of government leads to poverty which leads to extremism which leads to terrorism…against French cartoonists.

    On and on it went.

    There was so much derp. I felt like John Muir discovering the Giant Forest.

    1. Christiane Amanpour called the terrorists ‘activists’.

        1. Apparently i was not the only person with that reaction

      1. That’s as execrable as the statement issued by the Indonesia Ulema Council that, after issuing a boilerplate “We quasi-condemn this attack”, got to the important stuff, fretting about backlash against those most fragile of people, stating “We hope the international community will be fair with this incident and not generalize it as part of Islam. We are afraid that it will lead to an anti Muslim movement”.

        1. Yet the ‘right-wing violent reaction in mass scale’ never seems to materialize.


            1. 403 Forbidden.

                1. Works.


                  Da fuck.

      2. Now they’re inactivists.

    2. *too hard to hear them

      damn homophones!

  9. (knock, knock)
    HELLO! Is this thing on?


      James Woods goes after Amanpour.

      1. I’m presuming sarc where the one commenter said they were ‘community organizers’.

  10. The Independents Attire Review, 09 January 2015

    Talent & Looks Are Over-Rated-Edition

    – Kennedy: Rizzo has apparently inducted Kennedy as an honorary Pink Ladies member. The lack of embroidered name means she hasn’t yet passed her “shank a bitch”-initiation-ritual yet. Helpful suggestion = Ellis Henican. Between the ribs. Tony Fisher knows a guy who’ll take care of the body.

    – Matt: Patterned shirt? We can hardly tell. Its not a problem by itself, but the haphazardly-knotted and meh-colored tie adds to an impression of disinterest. We like windowpane-patterned shirts, but usually w/ a white background. Blue, we tend to prefer bengal stripes or nothing at all. No Quadruple Crown for Matt, sadly. It was a good run while it lasted.

    – Kmele: We love the tweed of course, but we’re underwhelmed with the shirt. With Matt falling back to his less-inspiring attire-range, we look to Kmele to pull extra weight. Teamwork, people.

    Kennedy takes the prize tonight for the extra-dose of cute & cuddly.


  11. Brooks on Hebdo:…..type=Blogs

    Also, I was surprised some thought Maher on Kimmel wasn’t so bad. While he was correct about Hebdo, his claims about liberalism runs in direct opposition to what we argue about them in these threads.

    1. “The journalists at Charlie Hebdo are now rightly being celebrated as martyrs on behalf of freedom of expression, but let’s face it: If they had tried to publish their satirical newspaper on any American university campus over the last two decades it wouldn’t have lasted 30 seconds. Student and faculty groups would have accused them of hate speech. The administration would have cut financing and shut them down.”

      This is actually completely true. I can’t see how anyone might actually find cause to dispute… this…. oh

      Salon ignores Brooks point about speech codes, instead decides that a remark he made later in the piece is “Elitist*”

      (* it is. shocker. NYT)

      1. I find this bit irritating:

        “The first thing to say, I suppose, is that whatever you might have put on your Facebook page yesterday, it is inaccurate for most of us to claim, Je Suis Charlie Hebdo, or I Am Charlie Hebdo. Most of us don’t actually engage in the sort of deliberately offensive humor that that newspaper specializes in.

        We might have started out that way. When you are 13, it seems daring and provocative to “?pater la bourgeoisie,” to stick a finger in the eye of authority, to ridicule other people’s religious beliefs.

        But after a while that seems puerile. Most of us move toward more complicated views of reality and more forgiving views of others. (Ridicule becomes less fun as you become more aware of your own frequent ridiculousness.) Most of us do try to show a modicum of respect for people of different creeds and faiths. We do try to open conversations with listening rather than insult.”

        1. But overall it’s not bad.

          The Salon piece on the other hand…

          1. yep.

            I confess = i jumped from his first paragraph (quoted) to the end, and scanned in between for any relevant other stuff.

            Reading a whole brooks column? would have forced me to hate him all over again. I was hoping to just agree with him on the big point and move on.

  12. Do they all get negative points for being bad at quizzes?

  13. I’m sorry that Carol Alt is on the anti-gluten bandwagon, but OMG, what a beautiful woman.

  14. Glenn Greenwald shows “solidarity” with ‘Charlie Hebdo’ by posting anti-Semitic cartoons

    ut this week’s defense of free speech rights was so spirited that it gave rise to a brand new principle: to defend free speech, one not only defends the right to disseminate the speech, but embraces the content of the speech itself. Numerous writers thus demanded: to show “solidarity” with the murdered cartoonists, one should not merely condemn the attacks and defend the right of the cartoonists to publish, but should publish and even celebrate those cartoons. “The best response to Charlie Hebdo attack,” announced Slate’s editor Jacob Weisberg, “is to escalate blasphemous satire.”

    Some of the cartoons published by Charlie Hebdo were not just offensive but bigoted, such as the one mocking the African sex slaves of Boko Haram as welfare queens (left). Others went far beyond maligning violence by extremists acting in the name of Islam, or even merely depicting Mohammed with degrading imagery (above, right), and instead contained a stream of mockery toward Muslims generally, who in France are not remotely powerful but are largely a marginalized and targeted immigrant population.

    Because Jews react just as violently and vitriolically as Muslims when you insult them. Or something.

  15. Kmele = your wardrobe, no matter what people tell you, is NOT a problem.

    sell the spare kids to the gypsies or something. You can make room.

  16. Nice blog

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