Tonight on The Independents: UPDATED: Glenn Greenwald on his NSA Scoop, Bloodshed in the Middle East, Pot Shortage in Washington, China vs. the U.S., Crosswalk Entrapment, Serial-Killer Real Estate and Spanking Bans

Wasn't is just Monday when we were talking about the latest NSA/Snowden blockbuster set of revelations on The Independents? Why yes it was, with former Reasoner Julian Sanchez, now at Cato:

Well, the whistleblower's archive keeps yielding damning new data; this time around in Glenn Greenwald's latest scoop about the spy agency targeting the private communications of more than 200 Americans, including seemingly patriotic Republican politicos from the Bush administration. On to discuss the revelations on tonight's show is Glenn Greenwald himself*, and also Party Panelists Julie Borowski (beloved Internet libertarian) and Jedediah Bila (Fox News contributor). The duo is also slated to discuss the Democrats' proposed post-Hobby Lobby contraceptive mandate, another proposed national ban on spanking, and the legal/moral responsibility of telling your tenant that her house and furniture were used by a serial killer.

KABC radio host (and multiple-theater combat veteran) Bryan Suits will analyze the latest Mideast bloodshed; Fox Business Network reporter Jo Ling Kent will discuss China's professed belief that it can defeat the U.S. military in battle, Kmele Foster will detail (and provide personal testimony about) crosswalk entrapment, and there will also be a discussion about the already-troubled rollout of the poorly designed legal weed regime in Washington state.

Follow The Independents on Facebook at facebook.com/IndependentsFBN, follow on Twitter @ independentsFBN, tweet during the show & we'll use the best/worst ones. And click on this page for more video of past segments.

* Updated from original.

Comments

[jesse.in.mb]

Wasn't is just Monday

Fix it before everyone else shows up and judges you!

[Ted S.]

It's not as if anybody watched either to know when the last time was that they talked about this.

[jesse.in.mb]

You're not pedanting with me here. "Wasn't is" doesn't make sense.

[GILMORE]

It depends on what the meaning of the word "is", is.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

"Is" might mean "it", and be pronounced throat wobbler mangrove.

[MJGreen]

INDEPENDENTS... HOLD!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hello, what's all this then? I think we have our answer as to when Wednesday nights' shows are taped. Right after lunch.

[GILMORE]

I have suspicions that the "Matt post" is generally sent right before he heads home for the day. After lashing the interns for a while, of course.

[The Last American Hero]

Lashing. Is that what we're calling it these days?

[GILMORE]

Dirty Sanchez is a paisley tie short of being hauled in front of the International Criminal Court for crimes against good taste. The hanky almost gets him there - it shows *intent* at the very least. I almost suspect you are supposed to squint your eyes and eventually a 3D hologram of "Big Brother" will emerge out of clashing lines/colors of the suit/shirt/hanky Mandlebrot-set he's wearing.

That said, i think he gets an A+ for nailing the "Evil Villain"-beard. If he had some 'danish architect' nerd-glasses, the suit might even work.

[SugarFree]

American Teens Know Jack Shit About Money

I wouldn't hit that idea to hard, Gawker Media. Economic ignorance is why they vote for the politicians you slobber over in the first place.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

they can't do much more than exchange money for goods and distinguish between a need and a want.

That's essentially every fucking American.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

The comments:

That's exactly how I feel about homeschoolers. Why not put your kids in public school, and then reinforce/expand learning at home? Just because a kid goes to school doesn't mean that you can't be involved at home*.

*This is also a great response to those vehemently opposed to Common Core.

[GILMORE]

Well that makes sense, because American Teens don't even get summer jobs anymore

So, the political concept of 'free shit' makes a lot of sense to them after college.

Many people you meet in their mid-20s are about as socially-experienced and mature as you were as a teenager. And that isnt an exaggeration.

[Derpetologist]

http://i.imgur.com/UeZan.jpg

[GILMORE]

AND ANOTHER THING!!

ADULTS WATCHING CARTOONS! IN MY DAY!.... SNOOPY WASNT A POTSMOKING RAPPER!

[Derpetologist]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrYx-rhIiLE

[PRX]

the legal/moral responsibility of telling your tenant that her house and furniture were used by a serial killer.

beggars can't be choosers.

[Trials and Trippelations]

Can you update this post again and add the Two Minutes of Hate from a couple weeks ago? I missed it

[GILMORE]

Did you want a foot massage too? I'm sure they can handle that as well.

[Derpetologist]

Here you go, Trials:

http://video.foxbusiness.com/v.....show-clips

Previous episodes are available in full on the YoungRothbard YouTube channel.

[jesse.in.mb]

I like how all three of them look like dogs waiting to be hit on the nose with a rolled up newspaper when GILMORE is mentioned.

[GILMORE]

I like how Bernie piles on with the 'ferrets' remark.

[jesse.in.mb]

Are you brown-nosing Bernie?

[GILMORE]

I like to think of it as one hand washing the other.

[Trials and Trippelations]

Thanks Derpetologist.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Hasn't it been three weeks from the last one? I was hoping we were due today for another one.

Again, if Neil Cavuto can do it everyday why can't these guys do it once a week?

[Derpetologist]

Because they viewers have expressed their overwhelming preference for The Topical Storm.

If anything, it should be much longer. And Kennedy should talk louder and interrupt more. Basically, what's holding the show back is that Kennedy doesn't get enough attention.

herp. herp. herpa. derp.

[GILMORE]

I think you're supposed to say, "What's The Deal??" when you ask that.

i think the answer is, 'not as popular as ferret segment', or something similar.

[Derpetologist]

While I am researching new material for tonight's game of Spot the Not!, here's some leftover derp to tide you over til showtime.

In this article, Matthew Yglesias explains that most Amtrak passengers travel on just a handful routes:

http://www.vox.com/2014/7/7/58.....-ridership

Hold the phone- trains only get significant ridership in densly populated areas? What an incredible insight!

[GILMORE]

This was old news in the mid 90s, the last time anyone really asked why we keep bailing out Amtrack.

The answer to that lengthy public debate was = INVEST MOAR INTO HIGH SPEED, which resulted in Acela, and which after tens of billions of dollars, still can't produce a profit despite generating ample ridership (via subsidizing themselves just enough to be cheaper than flying)

This Vox thing.... it 'explain' nothing.

[Derpetologist]

Can you believe this enterprising young lad is unemployed?

http://cdn.pjmedia.com/tatler/.....austin.jpg

[Derpetologist]

CNN- THE source for reliable news

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHYkQdAr5U

[Francisco d'Anconia]

That had to be a failed joke.

[Derpetologist]

Alternet comes tantalizingly close to ungoodthink with this article titled: "How Politicians and Scientists Have a Vested Interest in Spreading Panic"

A lone commenter dares to wonder if climate change fits in that category:

http://www.alternet.org/media/.....ding-panic

[GILMORE]

Dont worry = the consensus will be that this is all evidence that no one should vaccinate their children.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Wow, fishing for derp is fun!

Here's a guy on Daily Kos about how to reach out to business people and Christians. Bear in mind that this is his idea of respectfully reaching out to people with opposing views -

http://www.dailykos.com/story/.....e-of-faith

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

What I believe

I believe in individuality as well but I also believe it is just one side of a coin called responsibility. The other side is mutual responsibility.

That is, I believe we need to be responsible to ourselves but I also believe we're all in this together. I believe we have obligations to our community. I believe we are "our brothers' keeper."

I don't know, it's like they phrase it that way to obscure the fact that there's a gun pointed at you to ensure we all engage in 'mutual responsibility'.

Of course no one's ever been able to demonstrate exactly how this greater good happens and all the science, history, and experience I've seen tells a different story. Everything I've seen says that people do best when we work together.

Does this guy not think companies are composed of individuals working together?

What I am counting on is that most people have beliefs more like Hillel than Ayn Rand. That is, most people believe in both personal and mutual responsibility.

In other words, it's easy to make his selfishness look immoral. Most people dream of making $240k selling a horse. This guy's "friend" can't see anything past his own greed. Even while making a 1200% return on investment, he feels he deserves more.

And they wonder why they lose elections and popular opinion. No one likes it when people morally grandstand like the Pharisees.

[GILMORE]

The Hallmark of The Prog =

A) *A severe deficit of intellectual capacity

(such that they need to reduce almost everything into cartoons with little connection to reality)

COMBINED WITH

B) *an extremely exaggerated sense of their own Moral AND Intellectual superiority

(*i note that they tend to conflate 'moral' judgements with everything; constantly lacing their 'reasoning' with value judgements, such that nothing is as logically derived/determined as it is 'right-feeling')

That guy doesn't even understand who/what it is he's 'disagreeing' with. Shadowboxing, basically.

They create straw-men of everything, slay fields full of them, yet still are shocked and surprised when their arguments fail to convince anyone with greater awareness of how the world actually operates. At which point they then need to resort to force to compel people to their cause.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

And if I get to find derp in previous years, here's one from 2013:

"Most us liberals are interested in debate and facts. We enjoy the give and take of idea sharing and are willing to listen, and not 'snap-believe' every last, little thing we are being told. We accept that change is inevitable and also realize that, quite possibly, embracing that change might be to our advantage and profit....

"And now my debates with conservatives consists of many simple variations on the following:

"What you're saying is wrong, and what I'm saying is right. The facts are the facts and nothing you say will change that. You want to know the facts, do the research and decide for yourself how you feel about this? But know this: As of right now, I'm right, you're wrong, and no amount of screaming on your part will change that.

"End of discussion."

http://www.dailykos.com/story/.....mes-I-Must

[GILMORE]

""Most us liberals are interested in debate and facts"

Sorry, i started laughing at this...

this is pretty much what i meant in the above statement= they always *assume* they're the smartest kids in the room.

And it never ceases to shock them that its possible they're not.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

More strategies on how to talk to conservatives. Recall that this author, too, wants to reach out and persuade conservatives by appealing to common values.

"Seems like we all have them?family members who have been taken in by conservative talking points. And, if you're like me, you're astounded when a seemingly normal person identifies as a conservative ? until you realize that these are nearly always people who are simply politically uninformed or seriously misinformed. This is no mistake, or error; it's deliberate manipulation by those who want to retain wealth and power....

"How can we talk with conservatives?...

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"Conservatives have been taught to hate unions. Talk about the things we owe to unions: 5 day work week, safety regulations in the workplace, child labor laws, minimum wage.

"Show them photos like these of life in America before unions and child labor laws....

"Most people are actually social liberals even if they "hate" government. They love services and they enjoy the benefits of living in a civilized society. If they hate government, they will still usually be able to agree that having roads and freeways is nice. Having a fire department and police is useful. Having a library is good. Food and drug safety rules can be agreed upon by even the most anti-regulation person. Remind them how well the "no government" idea is working out for places like Somalia. In the third world, multi-national corporations can do whatever they want. They can ? and do ?dump toxins into the land and water, poison countless people and wildlife, hire private mercenaries to kill anyone in their way ? and there is no one to arbitrate. There are no police force to protect people from violence. No hospital care, no roads ? yipee! A libertarian paradise.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"And even if they home school, would they really want a society where there were no public schools? How many of the next generation would not even know how to read if there were absolutely no schools except for the people who could afford private ones, or who would take the time required to home school? And what kind of society would it be with a lot of people even less informed than we have now? Imagine a society where the majority were ignorant of basic science, were superstitious, couldn't read, and struggled to survive with no basic services like health, roads, firefighters, etc. What does that society remind you of? If you imagined the Dark Ages, you know we don't want to recreate that."

That paragraph concludes as follows:

"These ideas are good ones for stimulating thought and finding common ground."

http://crazyemailsandbackstori.....y-of-them/

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

How many of the next generation would not even know how to read if there were absolutely no schools except for the people who could afford private ones, or who would take the time required to home school?

Oh come on, this is all a parody. No one is that stupid, right?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

No one is that stupid, right?

You'd think that...but...um...Tony.

[Derpetologist]

Bill Maher is. Skip to the 2:45 mark for the strawmanpalooza:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ybud1Ai1dWQ

[Sevo]

How could people eat if if wasn't for the Federal Food Command Team telling farmers what to grow?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello bitches!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Evening Rufus.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Is anyone else having an issue where the reply buttons go away after you post?

They come back when you reload. Me or Squirrelz?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

And it's intermittent.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

That happens to me from time to time.

Reason suckz bitches!

[jesse.in.mb]

You seem to be very focused on lady-dogs today.

[Derpetologist]

It's time for another game of Spot the Not, the game that challenges you to sort real prog quotes from fake ones. Two of the quotes are from Michael Moore. The other is a spoof by me. Can you spot the not?

1. I came to Wisconsin today to send a message to the fat-cat plutocrats and their Republican puppets like Scott Walker. We've had it with you and your trickle-down-on us economics. We are the 99% and we will take this state and this country back!

2. I'm a millionaire, I'm a multi-millionaire, I'm filthy rich. You know why I'm a multi-millionaire? 'Cause multi-millions like what I do. That's pretty good, isn't it? There's millions that believe in what I do. Pretty cool, huh?

3. Should such an ignorant people lead the world? How did it come to this in the first place? 82 percent of us don't even have a passport! Just a handful can speak a language other than English (and we don't even speak that very well.)

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I'm going with 1. I don't think anyone actually uses "fat-cat" in verbal communication. It just sounds ridiculous.

[GILMORE]

Yeah 1

[GILMORE]

Also, 'trickle-down on us' is actually too-clever for Michael Moore. Your fatal flaw in your prog-parodies is that you arent nearly 'gushingly emotive/crazy' enough.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

1

[Dances-with-Trolls]

3

[Notorious G.K.C.]

This is good. They all sound so similar.

I think Moore is obsessed with 3, so that's probably genuine. Number two, I think, is him as well, because you wouldn't make up a prog justifying his wealth.

So that leaves me with 1 - my guess.

[Derpetologist]

Place your bets, ladies and gents! The answer will be revealed in 10 minutes.

[jesse.in.mb]

two

[Max Power]

2.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

2.

[Derpetologist]

And the Not was #1!

Congrats to GILMORE and NGKC who are now 3 for 3. Honorable mention to GMSM for getting on the board.

It is a challenge to imitate the ravings of a typical empty-headed prog. Practice makes perfect!

If you guessed wrong, don't despair. A new game will begin shortly.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!

[Dances-with-Trolls]

Red 3 standing by.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Lock S-foils in attack position.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

George Lakoff, the "framing" guy, thinks progs have gotten progsplaining all wrong -

http://www.theguardian.com/boo.....-interview

[Derpetologist]

Another leftist who believes wealth is a pie? Hold on, let me find my shocked face. Keep in mind this chump calls himself a libertarian:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5YxcPUdICg

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Prediction: Thread not bumped

[Fist of Etiquette]

Prediction: I already saw

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Ya think H&R commenters are watched by the NSA?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Looks like someone has been down to the studio wardrobe department with the ugly stick.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Echo.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

His name is Faisal. Hello! McFly!

[GILMORE]

GLEN IS SPEAKING FROM HIS BUBBLE IN SPACE

[GILMORE]

ITS A VERY LARGE BUBBLE

[GILMORE]

IT HAS ITS OWN SWIMMING POOL

[jesse.in.mb]

Leave the man alone, even the telecom infrastructure in Brazil is having a sad this week.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

He's actually on the shitter.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Did he just lean over to wipe?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Watch for the black helicopters behind him.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Is Glenn Greenwald reporting to the Independents from the distant past? That echo sounds like it is from archival footage.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Watch for the soccer balls behind him.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Holy fuck, this thread is buried.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Prominent Muslim with no possible ties to terrorism? WELL WHICH IS IT?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Those two humps in the background are missing nipples.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They should have fixed the audio in post, as this is a PRETAPED episode.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They have an implicit FISA court warrant.

[Max Power]

Giddy Germans? Never seen one.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Fuck Brazil. They played like brutes and got too many calls.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Sorry Hyperion.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

The Judges of the FISA Court

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7il7IKyfqlQ

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Somewhere, deep in a subterranean bunker beneath Rio, Greenbot experiences an emotion we humans call...happiness.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I needz teh free drugz fer my gurl partz.

[Max Power]

Flex Seal fixed my roof. It wasn't cannonball damaged, though. I can't vouch for that.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I guess the FlexShot guy that shoots cannons already has tinnitus.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I guess the FlexShot guy that shoots cannons already has tinnitus.

[Jesus H. Christ]

So, a guy with a speech impediment can charge twenty bucks for caulk and make enough sales for a tv ad?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Hot chick time.

[Max Power]

The Independents get the only libertarian women there are.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles The Declaration of Independents book. You will give your rifle book a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary-Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron paper and wood cardboard. And you will be faithful.

[GILMORE]

Hi-oooooohhh.... Julie hi-ya!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

They want vulnerable Senate Republicans to go on record declaring War on Women. They don't want a victory.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It looks like < i The Independents is getting with the Fox News program and have honeys on tap.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Who the hell is voting based on free birth control?

[Max Power]

People I went to college with?

[Fist of Etiquette]

They were voting Democrat anyway.

[Max Power]

You're right, I went to school for music.

[Fist of Etiquette]

WRONG. Hobby Lobby banned birth control. How else could you explain the reaction?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Jedediah may just be the greatest name EVAH!

[Max Power]

I like it as a woman-name. It's bold. Otherwise it's an Amish name.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

But...

[Notorious G.K.C.]

It's another name for King Solomon, 2 Samuel 12:24-25

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Who is this Sam person and what is so important about Christmas Eve 2025?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

This birth control issue is a symbol of how intellectualism has degenerated on the left.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Harry Reid wants some more Negro dialect on the Court.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Reid literally is a douche.

[jesse.in.mb]

figuratively, or rape-literally?

[GILMORE]

He is far too sandy and coarse to function as an effective genital wash

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Like someone was saying earlier today, the Republicans need to hold a hearing on religious freedom, and have a Native American lady testify about using her ritual peyote, a Muslim woman about being harassed for having a veil, etc. Some of my best friends are old white guys, but don't make them too prominent.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"Let's talk about Glenn Greenwald... hate him or date him?"

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I have some bad news for Julie and Jedediah...

[Rufus J. Firefly]

'Preliminary data indicate that 40.7 percent of all 2012 births were out-of-wedlock, which is appalling, and there are vast differences among racial and ethnic groups. Among non-Hispanic blacks, the figure is highest, at 72.2 percent; for American Indians/Alaska Natives, it's 66.9 percent; 53.5 percent for Hispanics; 29.4 percent for non-Hispanic whites; and a mere 17.1 percent for Asians/Pacific Islanders."

http://bit.ly/1qLHKbm

[BigT]

RJF - I trust this is not surprising to you. What may be surprising is that in 1960 about 25% out of wedlock births in the black community, and the rate rose dramatically due to the War on Poverty.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Not surprising. And the explosion in the black community is stunning. The black family was in fact very strong once upon a time I've read.

[BigT]

As usual, they are missing the real issue - why is the govt dictating what employers include in their insurance offerings?

[Trials and Trippelations]

Because thanks to public schools not enough people can read their benefits package, thus our betters must make laws to protect the little illiterate people.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Matt Welch: Deploy black helicopters to follow Muslims NOW

[Fist of Etiquette]

This Fred Thompson movie looks low budget based on the otherwise lack of star power.

[jesse.in.mb]

I just got an English language Fox Deportes ad and now an FX commercial with Kelsey Grammer and Martin Lawrence.

[Max Power]

SOOOOOOTS!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Glasses off, Suits on.

[GILMORE]

The Independents Attire Review, 9 July 2014

Cross of Gold-Edition

- Kennedy: I forget what I called this the last time. I think I made the general remark that 'patterned dresses are rare', and that the horizontal thing under/across her boobies makes it look a little like some Charlie-Brown-rejected Christmas-Sweater. We notice Kennedy is favoring oranges more often recently, particularly with the matching orange lipstick.

- Miguel: The Formula Suit now getting extra duty with blue shirts. We like that Matt is wearing blue and white shirts more often. we're not as thrilled with the re-mixes of this suit, which really only has one winning recipe (hence, 'The Formula'). We think the once-mentioned "Matt+Kmele shopping trip" is long overdue, and Matt needs to get a blue blazer of some kind (linen?), stat.

- Kmele: In the "who has pushed casual the farthest'-contest, there would be no contest with Sherrod Small's onetime appearance in a t-shirt and a hoodie-vest. However Kmele sends semi-frequent reconaissance-missions into Casualstan. We're Ok with it, and like this kind of bright plaid pattern better w/o the blazer.

Everyone seems to be bringing their "b" (or C?) game tonight. So we're throwing the WIN to Julie Borowski !- for her blinding smile, pearls, and attractively draped blouse. She looks like she tried, and effort earns *respect* here.

Dhan'yav?da

[Max Power]

Welch should get a navy suit and burn the black suit in a barrel.

[GILMORE]

This is a concise paraphrase of comments I've made previously

[Fist of Etiquette]

Cue Foster to come to Hamas' defense.

[Fist of Etiquette]

We needed an Iron Skidplate in Baghdad.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Victimhood. That's why losers on the left - and nationalist Quebecers particularly the PQ - support Palestinians. Misery loves company.

Anyone who believes what organizations like Hamas or Arab terrorists say at face value really are naive.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

An art they mastered - besides being victims - is pandering to their audience. Arabs say one thing to the West and quite another to their people. Just like the PQ in Quebec. They say something to Canada and another to their base.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Does Hobby Lobby cover IEDs?

[Max Power]

IEDs are a very late term abortifacient. So no.

[Derpetologist]

Time for another exciting round of Spot the Not! This round will feature the esteemed wordsmith Thomas Friedman. 2 of the quotes are real. Can you spot the not?

1. One-party autocracy certainly has its drawbacks. But when it is led by a reasonably enlightened group of people, as China is today, it can also have great advantages. That one party can just impose the politically difficult but critically important policies needed to move a society forward in the 21st century.

2. The hidden hand of the market will never work without a hidden fist. McDonald's cannot flourish without McDonnell Douglas, the designer of the F-15. And the hidden fist that keeps the world safe for Silicon Valley's technologies to flourish is called the US Army, Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps.

3. Now more than ever, America's ability to compete in a hot, flat, and crowded world depends on our ability to glocalize and outgreen before we get leap-frogged by China. China's flag maybe red, but their economy and environment are zooming through the green light while we're still stuck in neutral at the red light of austerity.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

3

[GILMORE]

3 is you.

You try too hard to stuff too much in a sentence there.

Also, i've read the other pieces.

[Trials and Trippelations]

2 is a not

[Max Power]

3. Do Marcotte next!

[jesse.in.mb]

glocalize

This sounds like something I didn't pay attention to in biology class. Once ingested glocalization breaks down the sugars into simpler compounds that are more readily digestible before they're derped out your ass as exretia.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Number 3.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

3

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Yes, Number 3.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I was always partial to the 8.

[Derpetologist]

Place your bets, ladies & gents! The answer will be revealed in 5 minutes.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

3.

[Derpetologist]

Many thought it was #3. And they were right!

Coming soon:

ATTACK OF THE MARCOTTE!

It will be a challenge to find sentences that are less than 100 words.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Prediction: none of the topics in the Topical Storm will have come after 2PM this afternoon.

[Derpetologist]

Did someone say Harry Reid? Here is what may be his greatest quip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOw9vMh8A6M

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hahaha GO TO JAIL.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I think "do you want a hit man" meant "do you want to hire a professional assassin to take out terrorism suspects in case the drones don't work?"

[jesse.in.mb]

Maybe Kmele has squatted more?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Too much Gangnam Style.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Thusly.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

The trouble with Ernest Hemingway was that he had a tendency to shoot his mouth off.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

+1 groan

[Notorious G.K.C.]

+1 groan

[Derpetologist]

And whatever you do, don't ask him about his fishing trip.

yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yaaaaak!

[pagal]

too soon

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I take it jokes about Zelda Fitzgerald would be too...incendiary?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

+1.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Wait. I'm the coolest pilot in the world.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

And the most modest.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Well, I'm never going to write a book called How To Poke A Hornet's Nest and Survive.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Matt Welch: The market won't reward businesses on its own.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I flew Frontier once. It wasn't bad, but compared to Virgin, meh.

[Fist of Etiquette]

WHY WON'T THE CAMERAMAN FEED THESE CHILDREN?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Here's a case -

"Stambovsky v. Ackley, 169 A.D.2d 254 (N.Y. App. Div. 1991), is a case in the New York Supreme Court, Appellate Division, that held that a house, which the owner had previously advertised to the public as haunted by ghosts, was legally haunted for the purpose of an action for rescission brought by a subsequent purchaser of the house. Because of its unique holding, the case has been frequently printed in textbooks on contracts and property law and widely taught in U.S. law school classes, and is often cited by other courts....

"In this case, "the most meticulous inspection and the search would not reveal the presence of poltergeists at the premises or unearth the property's ghoulish reputation in the community," thus equity would allow Stambovsky the remedy of contract rescission against the seller, Ackley."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stambovsky_v._Ackley

[Fist of Etiquette]

The A&E is coming from inside the house!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Well look lady, if you're going to rent a home from Warty, you get what you pay for.

[Max Power]

haha, Kmele is the best.

[Fist of Etiquette]

When I bought my house I urinated all over it. Dominance over ghosts established.

[Max Power]

What about ghost-dogs?

[Fist of Etiquette]

I assume my dog handled that, although he's an outside dog so...

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Have you checked the children?

[Fist of Etiquette]

That map had no legend.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Matt Welch: Raise brats

[Trials and Trippelations]

If Playa was here he would post that story about farting on unruly children

[jesse.in.mb]

I like that Welch is willing to admit his wife would be taking care of it.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Faire les quatre cents coups isn't just a French idiom!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I fully support capital punishment in schools...wait, you said *corporal* punishment, that's just wimpy.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

As corporal punishment no. But The Independents uses spanking as a team building exercise.

[Fist of Etiquette]

This is getting weird suddenly.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I hope Foster's wife isn't watching...

[Trials and Trippelations]

Worked in a former school? What is it now?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I bet Warty could tell you.

I don't even know what these memes mean.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Newsmax TV?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Why do they let the advertisers tell the viewers to switch channels?

[jesse.in.mb]

NO!

[Fist of Etiquette]

I haven't seen a Reason Magazine commercial in a while. It looks like perhaps they blew their wad on what was supposed to be a dry run and now they have something of a mess on their hands.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Do they have any unattractive ladies on set?

[Trials and Trippelations]

behind the camera

[Trials and Trippelations]

They should probably take a show at a beach.

[Trials and Trippelations]

I bet Kennedy's Middle Kingdom question was a test to determine if Kent really knows her stuff.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Wow, she's saying that stuff on the anniversary of WWI!

[Fist of Etiquette]

She has a NewsRadio-era Maura Tierney thing going on.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Good one.

Lisa!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

The Kaiser and the Tsar are simply posturing...they know that a war would wreck their economies and threaten their governments, there's no way, despite their rhetoric for domestic consumption, that they're going to let some minor incident in the Balkans escalate...

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

There might be 2 billion Chinese but I'm pretty sure a few Trident D5 submarine launched ballistic missiles could reduce that to about 100 million.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

If they were Jewish you would just have to throw a penny in a well.

Whoa!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Occupy is a nice way of putting it.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

She isn't reassuring, sorry.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Is the Hate next Wednesday?

[Fist of Etiquette]

You can tell it's an undercover cop because he's so fit.

[Max Power]

My coworker got stopped in a NJ crosswalk string!

[Max Power]

Also, I got stopped in a checkpoint on the same road for not wearing a seatbelt. I wasn't wearing it because I stopped to get breakfast .5 miles away and I didn't put a seatbelt on because I was right near the office.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

That sausage McMuffin better have been good.

[Max Power]

Also I had to go to court because I didn't have a copy of my car insurance card (even though I'd paid for it). Traffic court in Pennsauken NJ is a sad sad place.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Got to love entrapment. While in Chandler this weekend kibby and I went miniature golfing. The mini golf place we went to had a sign posted in the parking lot warning that there was a dummy vehicle in the parking lot police were using to entice car thieves.

[GILMORE]

Dummy Vehicle?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Meh.

Theft is a legitimate crime. Jaywalking isn't.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You need numbers if you're going go accuse jaywalkers, Foster.

[Fist of Etiquette]

This is not a good use of Fox Biz time.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

He waved you off and you got a ticket? Why didn't you go to court? He obviously entrapped you.

[GILMORE]

Forget it Kmele - Its New Jersey

[Fist of Etiquette]

More like Venting It Kmele.

[Fist of Etiquette]

AH! Lou Dobbs.

[Derpetologist]

PANDEMONIUM! Are you ready to rock? Because it's time for Spot the Not!

MARCOTTE! Edition

1. If you follow the news, you must have caught a glimpse of the endless parade of spray-tanned, smiley-faced fascists talking about what these country really needs to yank food from the tables of working families with children so we can hand more tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans & their oil companies so they can whip up trailer trash into a lynch mob against our president whom they hate because of his skin.

2. You, being a generous, logical human being who doesn't hate women, might look at the financial crisis and blame it on banksters who have made it a habit to create bubble economies to continue to generate wealth on paper without having to do tedious things like actually build wealth, on the grounds that actual wealth-building takes too long and requires hard work---the sort of thing that belongs to the era of higher marginal tax rates and hefty labor movements.

3.The context for this is a discussion about the evils of social welfare spending that allows the people who build wealth through labor to enjoy some of the fruits of that wealth through taxing people who build wealth through capital and hoard most of the wealth for themselves.

[GILMORE]

My god, you've outdone yourself this time.

I have to go with #1

[Rufus J. Firefly]

1.

I don't read Marcotte. And judging by these quotes. Thank God. Sheesh, what an idiot.

[Max Power]

2. I think you've used more economics-words than Marcotte knows.

[Derpetologist]

Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right up! Can you spot the Not? Spot the Not and win a prize! Only 10 minutes left to spot the Not!

Hurray, hurray, hurraaaaay!

[Trials and Trippelations]

1

[GILMORE]

She is so dumb that she needs to write extremely long run-on sentences in order to bury the unbelievably stupid things she says under a mountain of only slightly-less-ridiculously-stupid verbiage.

Its a fried-scrapple-dish of stupid

[Max Power]

Scrapple is delicious and even though it's a bunch of shit it forms a coherent whole. More than I can say for Marcotte.

[GILMORE]

touche

[jesse.in.mb]

Three

[Francisco d'Anconia]

1

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Derp, you realize how easy it is to cheat on these, right?

There's this thing called Google...

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Fd is not playing in the spirit of the game!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Actually, I'm 4 for 4 without teh Goooglez. Just figured the rest of you were cheating.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

1.

2. is classic Marcotte and 3. I think I remember reading.

[Derpetologist]

Damn you, GILMORE, one of these days I will fool you!

It was #1.

And you filthy cheaters who are googling- STOP IT!

Perhaps I can fool GILMORE by imitating Al Gore...

[jesse.in.mb]

You've never read Ruth Park's children's classic When the Wind Changed have you?

It's a children's accessible version of we become the masks we wear.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I step away for a brief time and ruin my streak.

I would have hovered between 1 and 3.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

How bout giving the several thousand pound car the right of way and making the more maneuverable pedestrian wait?

CRAAAAAAZZZZYYYYY talk!

[Dances-with-Trolls]

I do that all the time when walking, particularly if a car is trying to make a turn and mostly the people in the cars just sit there blocking traffic.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I actually remember the day the new law giving pedestrians the right-of-way over car in a crosswalk in PA. I was in high school and I predicted a cascading series of abdications of individual responsibility that would eventually result in the downfall of society. The beginning of the end.

It turns out I was right.

[Trials and Trippelations]

If that a hot woman instead of a hefty pig at the crosswalk I am certain the cars would've stopped

[jesse.in.mb]

Umm, "Breaking News" does not mean what you think it means, Dobbs.

[Trials and Trippelations]

The drivers probably noted the cop was so huge they would be halfway down the street before he made it to their half of the crosswalk.

[GILMORE]

Lou Dobbs is on the verge of collapsing in a puddle and ceasing all higher brain function. The time to replace Lou Dobbs with Robot-Lou-Dobbs is long past overdue.

[GILMORE]

Obama, speaking live to america, explains in sage terms that there is a border between ourselves and other nations, and that this border is an important thing. Also, there are children, and children are also important things. Dealing with important things is why we elected leaders. There is more to speak of, but these are complicated matters and will take much deliberation and working together to tackle them.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Christ his ears are big.

[Dances-with-Trolls]

I mentally inserted a comma for some reason reading this.

[Sevo]

Apropos not a whole lot, except 'TAX THE RICH!'

"The seven families, along with 178 others on the America's Richest Families list, are collectively worth a total $1.2 trillion."
http://www.sfgate.com/business.....to-6573964

So, if the fed gov't just flat stole every damn penny the richest 180 families have, you would cut the debt by 10%. Which, of course, doesn't touch the debts of the states and munis.
Yep, it's those rich hoarders who need to pay their fair share! That'll solve the problem!

[GILMORE]

I stopped even explaining to progs that there is no economic rationale for 'soaking the rich' that is worth the larger punitive impacts on the broader population...

(eg. Dividend Taxes are a common one, but which would kill most pension plans and middle-class retirement returns)

... and instead i realized that their goal has nothing to do with any kind of 'redistribution' effort at all, and is simply a class-war for the sake of itself.

Its not about the money = its about the "Justice" (read:figment of their imaginations) they feel is achieved by causing pain to the 'rich'. That's all it is, and it is an end-goal in itself aside from any possible side-benefits they might claim it would produce.

Dont believe me? = simply ask a prog -

"What if doing X would have no benefit to the poor at all?...or anyone? - Do you still think its worthwhile aside from its results?"

(X being whatever their scheme is)

They tend to cop to the desire for a 'moral comeuppance'. Which is when you realize that their notion of 'moral' is completely distorted and retarded.

[Dances-with-Trolls]

You should just provide them with a People's Cube and watch them glow happily for hours with soothing equality.

[Derpetologist]

Short retort: The problem with soaking the rich is that the rich can afford towels.

I have actually gotten progs to stop and reflect after saying that.

[Dances-with-Trolls]

Or that after they decide they have become uncomfortably wet they can afford to pay the politicians to have their goons throw you in the pool instead.

[Sevo]

"Its not about the money = its about the "Justice" (read:figment of their imaginations) they feel is achieved by causing pain to the 'rich'"

I'm pretty certain this is the case, which is the reason I no longer engage the commie kid's trolls on merit.
The subtext in his case is 'I'm smart, they shouldn't be richer than me!'; the politics of envy coupled with a willful ignorance of what it takes to trade with people successfully.

[Derpetologist]

Alrighty, last round of Spot the Not!, Al Gore Edition.

1. Global warming pollution, indeed all pollution, is now described by economists as an "externality." This absurd label means, in essence: we don't need to keep track of this stuff so let's pretend it doesn't exist. And sure enough, when it's not recognized in the marketplace, it does make it much easier for government, business, and all the rest of us to pretend that it doesn't exist. But what we're pretending doesn't exist is the stuff that is destroying the habitability of the planet.

2. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Thought I am deeply honored tonight to accept the planet's highest award, there is still a long road ahead and much work to be done. I wish to thank my supporters and urge them on to fight the good fight against climate change. And I have one last thing I have to say to the Nobel committee- please: no recounts.

3. Television's quasi-hypnotic effect is one reason that the political economy supported by the television industry is as different from the vibrant politics of America's first century as those politics were different from the feudalism that thrived on the ignorance of the masses of people in the Dark Ages. Our systematic exposure to fear and other arousal stimuli on television can be exploited by the clever public relations specialist, advertiser, or politician.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

2

[Max Power]

3.

[Dances-with-Trolls]

II

[GILMORE]

Sentence three is too complex from a man who grew up talking to people in Tennessee.

[Derpetologist]

Is that your final answer, Mr. Perfect Streak?

[GILMORE]

Yes

[jesse.in.mb]

One. I'm clearly terrible at this game, but I'll keep trying because I have no pride.

[Max Power]

I'm doing poorly tonight but my excuse is that I'm more drunk than usual.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

2

[Derpetologist]

A few of you swam upstream and picked #3.
A bold choice.

But you were wrong! It was #2! GILMORE goes down in flames!

Tune in Friday for another exciting game of:

Spot! the! Not!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

5/5

Derp, I'm not cheating. Either I'm really good or you suck.

I'll let the commentariat decide.

[Derpetologist]

Mark my words: if I can fool GILMORE, I can fool you.

Tiocfaidh ?r l

[Dances-with-Trolls]

The self-depreciating "no-recounts" was the tell in this one.

[Derpetologist]

I based that on a real joke he made.

[GILMORE]

I thought that was a gimme it really was something he said.

#3 was some crazy talk that sounded too somistificated for Al.

[GILMORE]

I suspect i was undone by that shit because it was something a ghost-writer wrote for him in a book

http://www.npr.org/templates/s.....d=10440121

"The Assault on Reason"

in his actual comments about the book, you can tell he's just as much a huckster as ever.... selling a book claiming to call hucksterism to task.

[Carl ?s his privilege]

So my car was recalled in February. They couldn't get me a repair appointment until today.

It took 2.5 hours. And the new keys they gave me have a different black plastic than the clicker fob thingies.

Fuck GM.

[Dances-with-Trolls]

Hasn't GM at this point recalled like every vehicle they've made in the last three years?

[Derpetologist]

Random thought: If a language's written form is beautiful it, it sounds ugly. If it looks ugly, it sounds beautiful.

Evidence

Looks good, sounds crappy: Chinese, Arabic, Hindi

Looks ugly, sounds good: Russian, Latin, Hawaiian

Discuss

[GILMORE]

I disagree on the 'looks' on some of them. Cyrillic is very interesting to me. I find chinese WAY too busy compared to Japanese, which i think is both good looking and great sounding.

[GILMORE]

I agree completely about arabic and hindi, which are unpleasant sounding, but have pretty script.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Can't be bothered to review a movie, and anyway you know in advance it's wrong and evil? Write a review about the audience.

http://ringoffireradio.com/201.....e-theater/

[GILMORE]

" confessed criminal and Right-wing operative Dinesh D'Souza."

This is so stupid that i'm stopping there.

[MJGreen]

Isn't Obama a confessed criminal? He was never caught or charged, but he admitted to possessing, sharing and consuming marijuana. And maybe a little blow.

[Derpetologist]

1. The small group of people who attended America: Imagine the World Without Her here in Chicago skewed older (50s to 70s). It was, surprisingly, a racially integrated group with several black and brown folks mixing in comfortably with the white viewers.

Progs are continually baffled by the existence of nonwhite non-liberals.

Film at 11.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Trademark dispute between the John Wayne estate and Duke University (North Carolina) over the use of the term "Duke" as a brand name - here, the estate wants to market "Duke" brand whiskey and the University objects.

http://www.bnd.com/2014/07/09/.....rsity.html

[Trials and Trippelations]

Fuck Dook!

Actually I am a little torn.

[Trials and Trippelations]

On the one hand, as a UNC grad I hate Duke University.

On the other, Duke's brand name clearly precedes John Wayne's and if the estate wins then University of South Carolina fans will be even more obnoxious that they are the real Carolina even though Carolina (UNC-Chapel Hill) precedes USC by several decades.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Fuck Duke U. NO ONE fucks with the Duke!

[GILMORE]

John Wayne was a fag

[Francisco d'Anconia]

We...are no longer on speaking terms.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Wow, what GILMORE just said was no different than sodomizing a weeping bald eagle bend over the base of a statute of Marx while Khrushchev and Pierre Trudeau cheer on burning the American flag.

[GILMORE]

You are both incorrect.

The correct answer is, "THE HELL HE WAS!"

[Derpetologist]

I drank a whole bottle of sangria tonight.

Bad, Derpetologist! Bad, bad, bad!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Try some [censored] brand whiskey!

[Derpetologist]

Bah! I'll stick with G & G Nika, thank you very much:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GveTzOQNCrM

[jesse.in.mb]

I find sangria is high on my regret list; it makes me especially hungover.

[Derpetologist]

If you like hangovers (and who doesn't?), be sure to try some Tanzanian banana wine.

[jesse.in.mb]

I'm partial to Korean makkoli. It's a fermented wheat and rice soup that's milky white and tastes like banana Runts. You scoop it out of a bucket with dimpled tin cups and get hammered. It hurts so much the next day.

[Derpetologist]

Hm. Sounds like mbege- a kind of millet-beer popular in the Kilimanjaro region.

It is served in a 5 gallon plastic bucket. You dip your cup in, drink, and hope for the best.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Noting worse than soju and OB (brewed with real formaldehyde). Worst hangover of my life.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Noting = Nothing

[jesse.in.mb]

Frankly there's nothing alcoholic in Korea that won't assault your following morning. Soju, soju spritzers, makkoli, Hite!, OB...

We did find a brewery in the town I lived in at the Hotel Ariana. The beer was better than everything else available, but not by a whole lot.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Hollywood to produce Derp: The Revenge, starring Robert Redford and Cate Blanchett as Dan Rather and Mary Mapes, the heroic news people whose valiant struggle to expose George W. Bush was constantly frustrated by so-called facts.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.c.....rect=false

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"The United States is still a democratic republic, formally, but what that actually means in practice is increasingly in doubt ? and the Hobby Lobby ruling, deeply disingenuous and sharply at odds with centuries of Anglo-American law, exemplifies how that formal reality is increasingly mocked in practice. It is a practice best described as neo-feudalism, taking power away from ordinary citizens, in all their pluralistic, idiosyncratic diversity, and handing it over to corporations and religious dictators in both the public and the private realm. The Supreme Court's actions are not taking place in a vacuum ? though they are filling one: As Tea Party Republicans in the House increasingly bring democratic self-government to a halt, contracting the power of we the people to act as a cohesive self-governing whole, the Supreme Court's conservative majority shifts ever more everyday power into the hands of private dictatorships."

http://www.salon.com/2014/07/0.....theocrats/

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Becuz "republic" denotes a system where the majority can vote itself positive rights.

It's like logic is to be avoided in making progressive arguments.

[MJGreen]

the Hobby Lobby ruling, deeply disingenuous and sharply at odds with centuries of Anglo-American law

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Magnificent sunset tonight.

[jesse.in.mb]

Something nearby on fire?

[Sevo]

I think Frank's in the upper midwest. Could be fires in northern CA, maybe.

[jesse.in.mb]

Are we on fire again? I'm not surprised but I wasn't aware.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Nope. Just the right cloud cover/haze.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

U.S. human rights official offers tips to Europeans -

"Circumcision has become a top focus for Ira Forman, the State Department's special envoy to monitor and combat anti-Semitism. He has been using the pulpit his office provides to warn European governments that moves to ban ritual circumcision could lead to the demise of their countries' Jewish communities....

"In the past six months, Forman has raised the issue in meetings with ambassadors to Washington from Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden and Switzerland. He says he plans to raise it with envoys from other Northern European countries, where pressures to ban circumcision are most acute....

"Forman, who is Jewish, contrasted efforts to prohibit circumcision with bans on ritual animal slaughter ? in place in some countries for decades ? which at least have workarounds, for instance by importing frozen kosher meat.

""Circumcision, if you ban it, you have three choices: You do it underground illegally, you take a little 8-day-old baby across state lines ? and if you have contiguous states [with bans], doing that becomes harder and harder ? or three, you emigrate," he said."

http://www.jta.org/2014/07/08/.....ision-wars

[Sevo]

Ed, another hobby.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

It's an important issue no matter how you slice it.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I see what you did there...

...and I don't like it.

[Derpetologist]

Bah! It's just a little snip.

Look how calm this boy is:

http://www.stopinfantcircumcis.....80x854.jpg

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You should have witnessed my puppy getting her shots yesterday. You'd have thought we she was being drawn and quartered.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Derp: Courtesy of US Uncut, make of retarded left-wing memes

[GILMORE]

I wanted to type, "Yes, but the homeless would then sell their 600,000 house for a pile of crack, and we'd end up subsidizing drug dealers who beat women and drive gas-guzzling Escalades. Better we invest in the F-35 to keep engineers and technicians employed."

...but i don't do facebook.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Car knowledgeable people, I am looking to buy a used car. I found this on AutoTrader.

Too good to be true? What kind of 9 year old car only has 40K miles on it and sells for that low?

[jesse.in.mb]

Camels for sale! This one owned by a little old man who only drove it to mosque on Sundays. Just had its knees replaced.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Night kids.