Tonight on The Independents: Prohibition-Hating Democrat Beto O'Rourke, Russia Conspiracy Theories, Dumb Laws, Jimmy Carter's Surveillance Naivete, Tax Breaks for Diverse TV Writing Rooms (Like Ours!), and Sexy Aftershow!

Tonight, The Independents is back live on Fox Business Network (9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, with repeats three hours later) with a show that features liberaltarian jackalope Rep. Beto O'Rourke (D-El Paso), that rare Democrat who has used a Tea Party-style primarying strategy to knock off an incumbent over an issue that the party's base has been serially disrespected by the establishment: in this case, marijuana prohibition. (Read Mike Riggs's interview with O'Rourke from January 2013.) O'Rourke will be on talking up a new bipartisan bill he's co-sponsoring to create more oversight and accountability for the Border Patrol and Customs and Border Protection, particularly involving use-of-force incidents and invasive drug searches.
The Party Panel tonight consists of Winston Group pollster and Daily Beast contributor Kristin Soltis Anderson, with Washington Free Beacon staff writer Lachlan Markay. They are slated to discuss the latest developments and conspiracy theories about the downed Malaysian passenger jet and Russia's aggressions on its western flank, plus Hawaiian cops and their hooker habit.
Last week the New York Observer had an article about a goofy new proposal in Albany to create a tax credit for TV shows that staff their writing rooms with non-whites and non-males. Over the weekend I called the idea "idiotic," and as a result Lowell Peterson, executive director of the Writers Guild of America, East, has volunteered to set me straight. Speaking of dumb laws, Kennedy's back with her latest segment demonstrating on the mean streets of midtown Manhattan behavior that is illegal in places like Meriden, Connecticut.
The episode will end with a discussion of Jimmy Carter's misguided faith that his snail-mail communications will be any less surveilled than his phone calls and sexts. Then comes the aftershow, which will be live-streamed on the program's website. Please send your tweets out to @IndependentsFBN; some may be used on air.
Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.
Please
to post comments
Posting just to be ahead of Fist
Fir- Uh, second!
There were no comments. I had a chance to be first. But then I choked.
Well, at least you waited to post something substantive.
This comment section is going well
Epi doesn't like it when we chit chat pre-show.
Do you suppose the West Coast has an inferiority complex, being robbed of a live, prime time showing? They should.
Aren't you in PA? Isn't that an automatic inferiority complex? At least have the decency to be in Lancaster County.
LANGcuster? Eastern PA? Ptooey!
I'd rather be in Lancaster, CA than Lancaster, PA.
Ok, so that's a heaping pile of lies.
Sometimes when you have to choose between Lancasters, suicide is the acceptable, nay, noblest choice.
If Lancaster, Ohio is in the mix suicide is your best option. It's better than the pizza anyways.
Look, my family owns a shit-ton of property there. Which makes it the best.
Do they even frack on that side of the commonwealth? Land is next to useless if it can't be raped again and again.
Not that I know of. Apparently no shale gas in Eastern PA, dammit all...
Matt is being modest and not promoting his new segment:
[removed][removed]
Enter The Independents.
/remove robes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IOYD9AkqHE
I hope they're wearing something under those robes.
Well, maybe not Kennedy.
Yum.
HBO is showing Game of Thrones from the beginning. I wonder if the new season is starting on April 6th.
It does.
Maybe if you read the books you'd know that Jon Snow gets knifed by his fellow crows at the end of book five.
The Snow shall rise again.
Gawd, how could anyone get through the Iron Isles crap of book 4?
Honestly, I was ready to drop it like Wheel of Time at the end of 4, but 5 was worth sticking it out for.
It helps a ton if you reread book three before book four. I had a hard time with book four the first time I took a pass at it (when it first came out), then I reread book three and it made it so much better.
I had started it immediately after finishing book 3 (didn't discover the series until right after the first season aired, and read all three of the first books within a few weeks before watching any of the show).
It was just hard to work myself through the first half of book 4.
How's Joffrey at the beginning of Season 4 tho?
Hope nothing happens to him.
I hear he gets married.
Weddings are fun.
A Westerosi wedding without at least a dozen dead bodies is considered a rather dull affair.
And Dany gets eaten by her dragons.
Good gosh, I wish. The show version of her, at any rate.
You mean you don't get high on feminine empowerment watching her?
But yeah, that very last scene from last season with Dany being worshipped felt very forced and unearned after the Red Wedding.
Come on, Dany is a great character. She's just hard to translate to the screen. And Emilia Clarke is hot, so that helps.
Emilia Clarke is doing a great job in the role and she's gotten less annoying as she's acquired more power, but that whole Messiah thing just rubbed me the wrong way.
I don't have the books to compare to either so that could be it.
Dude, it's like the unconscious SWPL fapfest. Dany getting her grrlpowurrrr on, all while being surrounded by an entire fleet of icky brown inferiors that only she could free with her benevolence. GRRM, as great an author as he is, is a certified prog. That shows most in his writing of Dany. She is the pussified western man's pedastal worship of being dominated by more powerful women.
Uh, OK, dude. Don't read your own weird issues into it or anything.
I find her intolerable in the show, except in scenes in which she's nekkid. In the books its not so over the top.
I found her obnoxious when all she could do was whine about being Danerys Stormborn and conquering what's hers with fire and blood and blah blah blah.
So pretty much the entirety of season 2. It was only when she conned her way into owning an army of Unsullied that I started to like her.
And since she's obviously going to get it on with that merc we should she more nudity from her this season.
I find GRRM's female characters well done. In a world that is still mostly dominated by strength, they have to find their way with sex and magic. Look at the powerful women of antiquity and its sex (or its opposite in Elizabeth I or Joan of Arc) and poison, but I think he's being fairly realistic about women.
I'm not saying that the powerful female characters bother me, and in the books, Dany is far more believable. But Dany became more manly in the show in the previous season than she did in the books, IMO.
Hopefully we get to see Ygritte naked one more time...
Before she gets killed? Maybe.
STOP IT!
Ygritte goes, I go.
Well, then you'll be going soon. I wonder if they'll make her death as wrenching as it is in the books.
Damn you, you evil bastard.
Never believe a damn word you hear from Epi.
Meh. Melisandre is where it's at.
Holy crap, seriously. She's stunning.
Not bad, but Ygritte is my ideal ginger. Carice von Houten obviously isn't a redhead.
In the game of spoilers, you spoil and you die.
So Epi should have died 3 times just this evening?
Maybe if you read the books you'd know that Jon Snow gets knifed by his fellow crows at the end of book five.
HA!!
Warty is going to be pissed.
Every bus in the Los Angeles Metro region is reminding me that All Men Must Die. And everytime I see that ad pass and a woman is standing next to me, I turn to her and say "you know, that doesn't just apply to men." I think that makes them uncomfortable, and a tad moist.
Another reason to hate the Brooklyn Nets
Prokhorov says transferring Brooklyn Nets ownership to Russia
http://news.yahoo.com/prokhoro.....--nba.html
"Not being the Knicks" was more than enough for me to start, but this added on top of their eminent-domain, crony capitalist raison d'?tre really takes the cheesecake.
We should nationalize the NBA to stop this outrage!! Make it the NNBA. President Obama save us!!
Technically the NBA can do something about this, if it's a change in ownership. I don't think Prokhorov can do what the Irsays did in Baltimore.
What a PRIVATE sector solution. What are you, some sort of right wing tea bagging nutcase?
Besides, think of how fun it would be for President O (PBUH) to add this to his list of sanctions!
Did they hold a referendum?
The Nets are just the Mets or the Jets of basketball. Funny how all the shitty second teams sound the same. Thank god the Jets got rid of Sanchez, though. Vick might actually be an improvement. Now if they would only fire Rex Ryan. Why can his brother do so well with the Saints, but Rex has a creepy tattoo of Mark Sanchez's number?
Perhaps the Islanders need to be renamed the Pets.
It got his girlfriend (wife?) hot. And really, he's never gonna pull that hot/crazy combo again. It may be the only thing I respect about Rex. I do go back and watch his dad get in a fistfight on the Oilers sideline during one of the endless 90s Oilers meltdowns every so often, just for fun.
fistfight? THAT?!!
Looks like the Eagles are gonna take Sanchez.
Kelly is up to something there.
Wait, what? They're essentially trading quarterbacks? I think the Jets win in this case. Sanchez is so horrible I think he gave me cancer.
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_.....hia-eagles
Better offense in Philly. Might be a good fit behind Foles.
None of this matters because the Seahawks are just going to be even more awesome this year. Especially if Percy Harvin can stay uninjured. God damn did he punk the shit out of the Broncos.
Yeah, the Eagles look strong but Seattle is on another level. Denver added to the roster as they feel they can get back to the Super Bowl.
Maybe he can scoop up the....Browns and relocate them?
They are slated to discuss the latest developments and conspiracy theories about the downed Malaysian passenger jet...
Interesting that reason asserts without doubt that the jet was downed. What do you know that the rest of us don't? What do the Kochs gain from a downed jet?
Their coal and oil fired steam jet business will really take off now.
You think it's still flying??
It could be taxiing.
INDEPENDENTS ROUND UP!!
I'm a big enough dork for the old NFL Films, that I could see myself getting that.
Dave Brockie is dead, and I'm so sick of you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbnm-0r3suM
His bio says he was an Ottawan-Virginian. Strange brew.
It's really sad.
It's really buggin' me.
He was one of the few people out there still keepin' the flame alive from when I was a kid.
There are other people still out there, but most of them are reduced to parodies of themselves--it's like watching a tribute/cover band--or they just aren't touring anymore.
I'm tryin' to think of who's still out there from back in the day--still doin' more or less the same thing.
Damn.
Was he in the original GWAR?
I know they had a few changes over the years.
He was in Death Piggy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXnHC2oRW6A
Mortality is starting bother me too as people I grew up with begin to die off.
Fucking life.
Way to be a downer, Ken.
Joey Ramone is the one that hit me the hardest. Joe Strummer too, but he was too early for me to feel old.
I lived in that neighborhood growing up. Used to see metal groupies waiting on his porch for him to let them in.
Hello, I am here for the sexy aftershow. Which way to the sexy place?
Just follow your mom. I know I'll be doing so.
Yo momma jokes? Is this where things are headed? The show can't start fast enough.
The natives are getting restless hurling insults and popcorn in intense anticipation. What will Kennedy wear?
The natives are getting restless hurling insults and popcorn in intense anticipation.
Why can't you just masturbate publicly, like any normal person?
My mom's DEAD!! [runs sobbing]
Christ. Now Epi is really excited.
Nah. He likes 'em still slightly warm.
Is that why he keeps a tanning bed in his basement?
FAP FAP FAP FAP
Don't cry it'll just turn 'im on more.
If someone comes in with a necrophelia remark I'm outta here.
You must not be German.
Is there something about Germans and necrophelia I'm missing?
You can Google that one yourself
Things like that which I don't know about are not anything I consider being missed. The fewer details the better.
I thought Germans were known for their cannibalism. Sexy cannibalism of course.
I couldn't say. Anybody been there recently?
I'm sure my sample size wasn't representative, but I didn't encounter any German cannibals or necrophiliacs when I was there for New Year celebrations.
How can you say for sure? Is there some kind of t-shirt they're required to wear?
I can't know for sure, but nobody asked if they could kill me and eat me in their basement butcher room, and nobody seemed inclined to kill me and rape my corpse, even when I was wandering around Tiergarten at night.
You really want to plan something like that out in advance.
I suppose. Planning it just takes the spontaneity and magic out of being killed and eaten for someone's sexual pleasure.
I don't want to be cannibalized just because someone feels like they're running on a plan.
Maybe they just couldn't find the right wording in their phrasebook?
Link to stream?
I promise I'll book mark this mothertrucker this time.
NO. No one give it to him. He'll never learn otherwise.
...I got these cheeeeeezeburgers, maaaan!
Is this it?
I have a mini-14 that's a bitch to find 30 rd mags for, but I found some at Midway USA. They're tapco.
Is that a shitty brand? Reviews are a mixed bag.
Buy or No Buy? You decide.
Is it the springs people hate? Because I think springs can be upgraded for cheap.
30 round mags are for dorks who can't hit the broad side of a barn. LIKE YOU.
I hit the broad side of your mom last night...
...with my penis.
Does that count?
It would count if that were some kind of achievement. She's easier than your mom.
10 round CLIPS are for idiots who don't plan to last long into the coming zombie apocalypse.
Lever action or GTFO.
Bull.
Belt-fed or you can't even play. NFA is a minimum.
Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
Once I was discussing the gun issue with some shipdit prog who spouted the line about gun owners not being armed well enough to face actual government troops. I pulled out a photo of me and a buddy I was in the Marines with shooting my 30 caliber machinegun off the back of my Ford pick-up.
He didn't have much to say after that.
I recall the Viet Cong had a lot of German Kar 98 bolt actions...
Hell, the Wehrmacht had mostly bolt actions and they did pretty well.
And the Cong's leaders had no problem throwing them into the grinder wholesale.
Wehrmacht tactics were to field lots of MG-42s which the riflemen were tasked to provide fire support to defeat any flanking elements. Wehrmacht troops were heavy in belt-feds.
To the folks like your prog friend who think bolt actions are worthless, I like to point out:
1) Kennedy was killed with a bowel action rifle.
2) Bolt action rifles are still widely used by snipers worldwide.
bowel action? I've been reading too much SugarFree.
Bolt actions are great. I have an unfired, unissued Yugo M-48 in my stable just because. And my idea hunting rifle will be built on a Mauser action.
But if you have to go to war against actual troops - or massed zombies - you will need at least a belt-fed and a couple guys trained with it for a number of modern tactics to work.
In the World War Z book, regular military tactics didn't work because only head shots kill zombies.
I've heard that but I always wonder if you used a mini-gun whether that might be good enough. Once you've chopped them into salad I can't imagine they would be much of a threat.
Well, there's a lot of them and it would take a lot of ammo to do that.
Meh, the zombie apocalypse is the least probable of them all.
Ever talked to a Chosin Reservoir survivor? One 30 caliber FMJ on massed targets can sail through 8 to 10 when they press in so close.
What is it with progs and this borderline fantasy of having troops gunning for gun-owners? I realize they probably think they're being rhetorical, but the better question than how well armed citizens would hold out against a hostile army is why anyone would prefer to be unarmed and helpless during a coup.
They're not being rhetorical. They want the government to mow down and haul off all the undesirables.
They think they won't be the ones shot or hauled off.
There delusion is in thinking our military would oppose the gun owners.
/\ /\ This /\ /\
One prog tried this line with me - so pulled out my military ID and asked him if he really believed he understood the issue better than I did. They really believe people in uniform are mental drones who will follow every order given.
If the price is right. The factory Ruger mags are ridiculously expensive. I have tapco AK-47 mags for when I finally get an ak, and they are reliable so far (on my friends' AKs).
Let's see, Moto 2 replay on FOX Sports 2, or a bunch of disjointed jabbering... it's a conundrum, it is.
Ok, so this Beto dude, he's seriously confused. I guess that he didn't get the big D memo that all drugs are bad, Mmkay?
Fucking clowns. In a post-industrial wasteland. Do clowns violate the NAP just by donning the makeup?
We take you to unfairly maligned Staten Island today where the citizenry is being disturbed by a clown who is taking to the streets to hand out balloons.Nobody is sure who he is, why he is doing it, or when it will stop. As the Staten Island Advance reports, the only thing that is certain is that he's freaking people out.
NAP allows for self-defense in the face of what a reasonable person would assume to be a threat.
Because any reasonable person agrees that clowns are fucking terrifying, then yes, blast away.
Dude, that clown is tempting death. Shaolin aint what it used to be, but there's still plenty of gun packing homies and guidos who are less than clown-friendly after dark.
Yep. That dude's going to get shot.
It.
If I clown showed up outta nowhere on my street I'd tremble. Bad things happen around clowns.
Tripping mushrooms and walking around a park one night, a friend of mine pointed out a road bridge over a creek and said, "That looks just like the bridge from It."
Yeah. Don't say that to someone shrooming. We walked a mile the other way before I'd cross over the creek.
Republicans oppose bill including increased IRS scrutiny of political donors, and reforms to the IMF which would increase US taxpayer exposure to foreign defaults... Reid uses opportunity to make *great point* =
Reid says GOP may have helped Russia annex Crimea
http://news.yahoo.com/reid-say.....10103.html
""Republicans objected to moving forward with this aid package unless Democrats agreed to allow the Kochs and billionaires like them to continue to anonymously spend millions trying to buy America's democracy," Reid said. "It's hard to believe. But that's the truth.""
Yes, the Koch brothers. That's what they're rolling with now. I think they've already pinned Global Warming on them, why the fuck *not* Russian expansionist use of military force?
I really, really do hope that Reid dies from something that lays eggs inside of him.
Who was the Roman who went that way? Maybe a generation before Caesar.
That was the rumor about Sulla, but I doubt it.
They're animist totems. Proggies are like Shinto worshippers.
But conservatives worship a Dead Guy on a Stick.
Which is worse?
#boringtryharder
It really is a step down from Christfag -- not homophobic at all, and only mildly stupid.
INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOr0na6mKJQ
Well Kmele is obviously the good.
How does the rest pan out?
allow the Kochs and billionaires like them to continue to anonymously spend millions trying to buy America's democracy
ONE DOLLAR, ONE VOTE!
Spoilers released today stating that the new season of American Horror Story will be set in 1950 Florida freak show carnival. Jessica Lange plays a German ex-pat. Could they be any more obvious in telling us its Nazis? I'm so sick of Nazis being the super villain. It's trite, cliched, and they're not scary at all*
*this is me still being a bit angry at Vince Gilliam for making Nazis the final villain on BB. Gus Fringe was so much more bad ass than a pack of Nazis could ever be.
*sigh*
I miss HBO's Carnivale.
Actually, my understanding is that Netflix is working with HBO to bring back Carnivale.
I'm afraid that effort ended in the southern Indian Ocean, too.
I thought Lange was done with AHS at this point.
She hasn't run out of different accents to do yet.
I don't give a shit what the deal is.
LOL
I think only people watching 8:55pm Cavuto can appreciate that thought.
Krugabe wants the plutocracy to pay their fair share.
Discuss.
Cavuto's what's the deal segment is popular because it is a lead-in to the INDEPENDENTS
HOOPS. Again.
It's in honor of the basketball tournament.
Fucking hoops again?!?
OK, Welch, I know you're listening. You perform your Arbor Day Song on the Independents, Live...on Arbor Day.
Make this happen.
After the show Kennedy will be sent to jail for being weird. Which is why she is wearing a libertarian prison getup.
There are some people here who would be really into that idea, I'd imagine.
It's really weird when Kennedy gets philosophical...with hoops.
What a horrible shirt - all those -what?- mirrors on her collar?
Rank insignia.
I'm not up on my Dugger's conspiracy theories.
?
Whoa. Gilmore is going to have a field day with these get-ups.
Matt is actually the best dressed, even with that dayglo shirt
Dayglo, yes. I couldn't put a name to the horror -- thank you!
It's not that bad.
It's also not good.
How can any of those family members be surprised - what have they been thinking?
Hope is intoxicating.
Where can I score?
Can you swim?
Matteo Welcho is going out dancing tonight.
Ah, live teeeveee.
Is Kmele doing his best impression of Cliff Huxtable?
I see Eraserhead is one of tonight's guests.
It was an electrical fire.
That collar is a bit kinky.
I know. It's like the cat collar I'd make her wear as she lapped milk from a bowl on the floor.
Oh, NOW I can't get THAT imagery out of my head.
Not that I'm complaining.
Kennedy knows this is televised, right? That people are potentially and perhaps against the odds watching the show right now?
I think Kennedy forewent her normal amphetamines for something else tonight. Maybe Ecstasy?
Here's a conspiracy, the national carrier of a corrupt 3rd world nation cuts corners in maintaining its fleet.
Wheels within wheels, wheels within wheels.
Oh, and Whitney Houston was SACRIFICED by the ILLUMINATI for the Jubilee of the Queen Elizabeth!
FREE BACON!?
USA is going to pull China's fat out of the fire, just like in WWII.
Someone please put McCain back in the old folks' home.
He keeps tasing the attendants and running away.
Cotton Hill speaks.
Old Man Mush-Mouth has some talk words.
tough words even
MCAAAAAAAIIIIIIN!
You sending the wolf?
Oh, you feel better now, motherfucker?
Shit, negro, that's all you had to say.
Reid. Jesus, he's mental.
I think I dozed off in that five seconds Reid was on the air.
I believe that's catatonia.
Kennedy mentioned Golden Girls. She's been reading the comments for a long time.
What if.... she's Longtorso?!?
It makes so much sense!
He's just drunk on Russia. - Kennedy
Because of all that vodka, duh.
Matt gets more animated with every show. I'm liking it.
Matt is trying to impress the hot Daily Beast chick. Stop being so obvious, Matt! Act more like Kmele!
Can't say I blame the guy.
I don't blame him either, but try and be a little bit cool.
Don't dis on the Welch; he's a pro. He already did that part. Now he's just reelin' her in.
Time for some negs?
Send in the Reid.
Even The Daily Beast chick is getting Reid's creepiness.
I knew it was Snowden's fault.
he's co-sponsoring to create more oversight and accountability for the Border Patrol and Customs and Border Protection, particularly involving use-of-force incidents and invasive drug searches.
Well, it's obvious that he hates the children and doesn't care about the safety of children.
I mean, when I fly, am I alone in the fact that the thing I worry most about is that someone might have smuggled ILLEGAL DRUGS aboard? I'm sure everyone is with me, let's waste all of our efforts on making sure that there are no illegal drugs on the flight and forget about shit like the plane might FUCKING DISAPPEAR for unknown technical reasons or a hijacking plot. NO, that shit is not important at all, I just need the peace of mind to know that no one has dangerous plants onboard.
We are one fucking stupid planet.
Oh, you and your crazy talk!
WE'RE ALL GETTIN' HOOKERS!
And blow?
Do we get free first class with the hooker and blow, because you know, coach, there isn't enough room for snorting blow off hookers behinds. And my wife will still need comfort room.
That's just for the pilots.
Huh, I would've never guessed JW was Oprah.
Just slap him Kmele. Do it. You know you want to. Slap him.
In that sweater?
The collar is like one of those 70's pimp coats.
Aaaah! USAA
How much audience must THE INDEPENDENTS have in order not to get put off the air? How long is their leash? Will all this good fun get ruined?
That joke was so lame I think it might have created a singularity of terrible.
No, that's your mom.
Comedy will get shittier.
When Lindy West starts writing for someone, the seventh seal will be undone.
Ha, you expect us to believe that you have writers' meetings!
Ellen Cleghorn is getting a job again!
I didn't see any Orion slave women in that writers' room.
"The blacker you are, the more money we get"
^^ Awesome. Brace for twitter/tumblr shitstorm.
Here's some free advice, Matt and Kennedy: leave the behind-the-scenes jokes to Tosh.
Are you suggesting that Tosh is funny?
Writers???? Who knew? Who even suspected?
Let's force diversity.
Jesus. Christ.
Um...because she is.
What if you're born a white man, but deep inside you're an Asian woman from the 1930s?
Do we still get tax benefits?
I'm asking for a friend, of course.
Just how many cheongsams do you own, jes...err... Anna May Wong?
Not enough?
There are far too few fat, bald men in ballet. Clearly, this injustice must be rectified.
I've always dreamed of performing with Baryshnikov. This could be my break.
There are far too few fat, bald men in ballet. Clearly, this injustice must be rectified.
This would actually make me give a crap about ballet.
I think Harrison Bergeron covered this already. Somebody should tell the progs that just because it was taught in HS lit doesn't mean it is an instruction manual.
I was always confused by that story since Vonnegut was a pretty solid prog. The interpretation that made sense to me was that he was trying to satirize how people misunderstand socialism.
My script is registered with WGE.
Did you write a screen treatment of Warty Hugeman and the Doomcock of Doom?
No; he's going to have a black woman do it for the tax breaks.
What the fuck does this schmuck write, eulogies? Jesus.
It's because JEWS control BOLLYWOOD.
They control my neighborhood also. What don't they control, is the real question.
The quotas have created jobs?? BS. They've merely re-directed the jobs.
Is blowing a whistle in someone's face when they don't want it a violation of the NAP?
No, but when you punch them in the neck in repsonse, that is.
What if the whistle is so loud and shrill that it hurts one's ears?
That's just her normal speaking voice.
HI-YOOOO!!!!
It's certainly at least a microaggression.
Pollution. Yes.
I hope this schmuck is a better writer than he sounds.
STOP COPYING MY YIDDISH.
Would you look at the chutzpah on this goyim?
He was actually more of a schlemiel.
He's got a touch of the shmendrik, too.
Yiddish is just German with a bad accent.
All head writers grew up in a racist bubble.
Kmele, you win AGAIN.
GO KMELE GO KMELE
Foster is killing it.
What did they put in Kmele's water tonight? Bring the commie back on, quick!
I love you Kmele.
(no homo)
Tax credits. The sophistry of finance.
So fucking go study it Peterson. Until then, don't bust our balls by making a perceived unfair situation even more unfair by bringing in the government into this.
It seems to me that "race quotas" are quite racist in of themselves. You are literally judging someone by the color of their skin instead of the content of their character.
It's okay if the right people do it.
What color and shade is Kmele's junk? Enquiring minds want to know.
What if Kmele's junk is white?
Does that make him bi-racial?
It could be a transplant. From a farming accident.
Maybe he's dating a south-asian chick?
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/gore-.....ze-1441309
"The shape, shade, or enormous size of my genitals"
Was he about to say in five years when all head writers are black women, they would discontinue the incentives?
There's no real difference between ethnic groups or genders, and if you think so you're racist. So that's why we have to pass these diversity laws where diversity is defined by the color of your skin and shape of your genitalia.
We only need the quotas for maybe 5 or 10 years.
Hahahahaha...these never go away. Affirmative Action anyone
Oh, everyone is praising Kmele? Then I change my mind. Foster was barely adequate to the task of refuting this important legislation.
He's got a 5 year plan! How can that possibly fail?
This Consumer Cellular commercial is super racist.
I don't like your pants either, Kennedy.
It's illegal in Meriden because they can hear you from there, Kennedy.
Twerk, Kennedy, twerk.
I'm actually embarrassed for Kennedy at this point.
After the pole-humping segment, my MTV lust for Kennedy is pretty much gone.
In a strange way, mine was reignited.
My thought exactly.
IT'S NOT SILLY STRING! DON'T OPEN IT KID!
Well that thing with the kid totally wasn't staged ahead of time.
Kennedy being thrown in jail for corrupting a minor or something equally ridiculous would have caused some problems for tonight's show.
She could have reported in via video from her arraignment hearing.
"...would have caused some problems for tonight's show"
By making it the best show ever!
I just got in, and have only seen her "on the street" segment so far.
The most striking thing about it is that there were several NYPD cruisers in the background. How many cops are in NYC?
About 36,000. Seriously.
It must be the freest, safest place in the universe.
To be fair, that's right off Times Square
(Fox was near my old office ... they're @ 47th between 6th and 7th, I was @ 52st and 7th)...
in other words, the highest cop-per-block area in NYC
So much for getting Kennedy that pole.
That segment was every bit as funny as you might imagine Liz Lemon would be if she had a show on the Fox Business Network.
Note this for the 2 minutes, Welch.
Who the hell is Liz Lemon?
[runs off to Google it]
Ah. I watch next to no episodic TV these days.
I would also like to bed Liz Lemon. Just once, no callback.
Cold? Did you see that dipshit in a t-shirt and shorts?
"THOSE PEOPLE"?
Independents gigglefests are my favorite things ever.
It's good to see that Matt and Kmele realize how ridiculous that segment was. If only Kennedy had that level of self-awareness.
That was a clear attempt at the 2 minutes of hate...
Disqualified.
Speaking of fashion, if Kmele were to turn the gray jacket-sweater a dirty, beige color and go shirtless he would look like...
KMELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"I'll leave you as I left Bill Nye....buried alive....buried alive...."
Such men dare contract for the things they want.
This grows tiresome. You must now ASK for my permission to watch this show.
I'd be more impressed if she broke NYC laws on camera...
Got any standard capacity magazines laying around?
I have 2 14 round mags for my S&W 40. And a monstrous 25 round mag for my evil murder death sad cry Ruger 10/22.
And a monstrous 25 round mag for my evil murder death sad cry Ruger 10/22.
I LOL'd.
Also, at the rate they're going, my 6 round Winchester 94 is going to be considered "high capacity".
On the 4473 form for my Ruger, there was a question about reason for buying.
I'm still kicking myself for not writing "big game hunting".
I haven't checked exactly but I'm pretty certain I have my own body weight in magzines which hold 10+ rounds. Granted, I'm kinda cheating with the boxes of AK drums and G3 issue mags which double as plate armor.
You must have a Sarah Connor sized arsenal sitting out in the desert.
She was a piker.
But I am jealeous of her bunker arrangement. I have half a plan to contact some of my buddies with family in Mexico to see if anybody would be interested to bring their family up and live in an old school bus.
Hey Derp., Is my memory wrong (again?) or are you located in ABQ?
I live on the desolate plains of north Texas.
Ah, well maybe not too far away.
My dad is retired in ABQ so that's where I head to when I'm in the US. Some day when my boys are a little older maybe we can plan a Reason trigger session out that way. I can outfit as many people as might show up - most probably in their choice of caliber as long as they don't shoot wimpy crap like 9mm.
Venezuela's government surrenders to market forces in the Currency Wars.
http://www.reuters.com/article.....QB20140324
They've basically mega-devalued their currency and are essentially instituting the permuta swap market Chavez shuttered in 2010. Foreign companies will also be allowed to move their dollars offshore. Not totally free market but it's pretty close. It will lead to massive inflation and capital flight but it's the only way to get imports. Wonderful how everyone surrenders to reality.
Schumer is the new shit.
Titties.
Moobs.
As in "I'm gonna take a Shumer, and when I'm done, I'll wipe my Feinstein"?
Does Kennedy have to split with the other Independents the Washingtons people on the street put in her waistband for her working the pole?
Given the dearth of Washingtons that would involve, I'm guessing...Meh?
I'm inebriated. Tastes like...freedom.
Hope the quitting was cathartic
It was. Now, if I can just collect that year-end bonus that was supposed to be paidf Jan 30, I'll be a happy man.
I'll message you how much I lost in the market this week. You'll thank them for holding on to it for you.
But you see, I would have made a bundle, because I always go long on Nigerian Princes.
Somebody left a bunch of Seagrams wine coolers at my place Saturday after a barbeque. I'm gonna be hurting tomorrow morning, but fuckit, all I have to do is make it to the airport. Seriously, parking lot to gate in Tallahassee, 10 minutes if I have to wake up the TSA guys.
Ha! I almost went to see Tool this weekend. I happily didn't. Where is the show you're going to?
Houston. The Toyota Center. The guy I'm going with and I used to get out of school on early release, drive around, smoke cigarettes and listen to Tool every day our senior year of high school, but somehow we never caught a show together. Should be good fun.
I did the same for The Pixies a decade ago with my old high school buddy and a couple of newer friends in Norfolk, VA some years back. I bet we had a better time that you'll have.
IIRC, two of us ended up in the Elizabeth River halfway back to Portsmouth before we were picked up by the Shore Patrol boys. Good times.
I can see you're not interested in this exchange any longer. But thanks anyway.
Sorry. The wife demanded cuddling as the price of going out of town. This marriage shit is a lot of give and take. But yeah, his kids still have to get to day care on Wednesday, so we probably wont be swimming Buffalo Bayou. Also, I've known his wife since the same era and I've long feared her wrath.
We all know Kennedy can do those street segments because she's pretty shameless fearless. But what about Matt?
Obviously Kmele couldn't do it because he'd be stopped and frisked every 10 minutes.
Did Matt show off his new jackalope yet? I forgot there was something to watch on TV tonight.
Nope. Right now they think they're on E!
Rrroooowwrr, Kennedy.
DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR
Whoa, I dozed off there with the Vogue bit.
I have to say it. Kennedy is totally fucking awesome. For real, I love that girl.
I remember her from MTV.
I vote "foe".
The Independents Attire Review, 24 March 2014
- Kennedy: Kennedy channels M.C. Escher, blending horizonal grey-white stripes with her omnipresent ear-orbs, creating a headache-inducing trompe l'oeil that makes you try and imagine how stick figures walking upside down might make it from her armpit to her nose.
- Matt: ROJO NO-HO!? Mein Gott, NEIN!! Hereafter known as "The Shirt", the floppy collar red polyester...thing... seems to escape from Matt's wardrobe once a month in order to remind the audience of Matt's eternal debt to Satan for his current post as Editor of Heartless-Libertarian-Monthly. We have only ever previously seen this abomination paired with the red-spotted tie and wombat-pelt jacket; if anything, tonight's new assmembly does nothing but highlight the unanswerable question it raises: Why? WHY? WHY???
- Kmele: "Baby, bring me that cocoa... with some extra sugar. and make sure its *hot*." While we have in the past noted examples of Kmele's "Sweater Crimes" - we here see an exception: When you're going to do something, NEVER go halfway. Had Kmele worn a shirt and tie with the shawl-collared cardigan we would have to had to call in the fashion SWAT teams with orders to kill on sight. Instead, boy's just *chilling*. Ask yourself: Could Matt do this? The answer should tell you just how far up on Cool Mountain Kmele lives.
Thank you
I already covered Kmele's outfit with my upthread Cliff Huxtable joke. Do try and keep up.
And I covered Kmele and Kennedy. Brevity is the soul of wit, Gilmore.
How very nice for you both.
We note that Matt's shirt is at the very least *flanked* by 1-pimp and 1-ho, so its not entirely lonely.
No, it's an over-ripe bouillabaisse
"stinking fish stew" was not what came to mind
Get your mind right....boy
Coolest guy on the planet?!?
Matt got Vanessa Paradis confused with his favorite adult film actress, Vanessa Paradise.
Chuck Schumer. You know what that rhymes with, right?
Fuck you more?
Amazon DRONES!
Look at your calendar. It's one of those times where a Monday grid shares dates. Poor Mantitties.
corned beef hashtag.
Which cereal did he go after? Is he behind the removal of Boo-Berry?
Matt Welch: Pope Hater.
Charles "Up-Chuck" Schumer
I'll have to remember this one.
We know and love him as 'Bitch Titties.'
The DEA is gonna be kicking in the Pope's door any second now.
OF COURSE LIQUID COCAINE IS A THING YOU KNOBS.
Coke to go up, heroin to come down. Don't you know anything?
Know what this show could use?
More Canadians.
THAT'S YOUR SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING.
I will say that I'm enjoying the shit out of CBC3 on Sirius.
How's the salad?
Needs more Canadians.
That landslide in Washington... yup
Canada?
Needs more Canadians.
I'm trying to imagine a Canadian version of The Independents going after the PQ, and the bien pensants going nuts.
Le Quebecois Libre should have a TV show.
They would be charged with "hate speech" for even the most milquetoast discussion of liberty.
Is Victoza a poison? Is that what this commercial is for?
It interesting change-up, FBN goes for diabetes medicine instead of cholesterol medicine.
RE Independents/Wrath of Khan comparisons, I think Kmele is Joachim and Kennedy is Khan.
After all Kennedy will chase you round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares maelstrom and round perdition's flames before she lets you get a word in.
That makes Matt the chick in the background with no lines.
*womp womp*
So Matt's the useless chick?!? Then who is the wildcard?
THE VIEWERS!
WILDCARD, BITCHES!!! YEEEEHAAAAAWWWWW!!!
The only acceptable ending to Fallout: New Vegas.
I frequent the Steam forums and is disheartening to see the number of people who see the NCR in a totally heroic light and the existence of an independent New Vegas city-state within the NCR as a 'failure'.
Just the idea of seizing power for yourself never occurs to them - they all think the 'Top men' running the NCR and unification (forced if necessary) is what NA needs, rather than what set up the conditions of the war in the first place.
And pretty much none of them have hade enough American History lessons to see the parallels between the NCR's expansion eastward with the nascent US' expansion to the west. They've never heard the term 'Manifest Destiny'.
Most of these people also thing the BOS are heroic saviors of the wasteland rather than the murdering, technology stealing, scum that they are.
2 Minutes Hate Entry: What has 7 arms and sucks? The Independents panel and the drummer from Def Leppard.
Damnit Sloopy, I damn near spit my kit kats on my iPhone!
With . . . *with* the drummer from Def Leppard' - on his own he only has 1 arm.
Is O'Rourke a Terminator? Because he talks like one. HE'LL BE BACK
I liked this guy better the first time I saw him, when he was Kyle Secor.
Beto O'Rourke.
Now that's a name.
Isn't beto the name of that steer that's the mascot for U Texas? Or is that bevo? Or Bieber?
Wasn't Beto one of the Marx Brothers?
Groucho, Zippo, and Beto?
One of Santa's reindeer's in Cheech's version of the Christmas story.
"On Chuy, on Tavo. Come on, Beto. "
Yeah, Congress is gonna get right on correcting those Constitutional incursions.
The liberaltarian bar is low.
Who would do the reporting on ICE and the Border Patrol?
Matt's like: "Cut to the chase! Any body-cavity searches? AND HOW DEEP?"
Holy shit, and the guy had answers!?
He's kinda looking like a stealth Kennedy. And not Kennedy Kennedy.
So Congress put this in motion with its mindless legislation, without oversight mechanism, and I'm supposed to trust Congress to fix it.
Treating people like human beings? You're like the worst politician ever, O'Rourke.
He's been lurking on H&R.
Bullshit the idea agents are concerned about new agents not being trained. Bull. Shit.
The internal checkpoints are supposed to be for immigration only but the dogs that sniff and slobber on your truck can't smell visas.
They can smell the new ones. They're rubbed in marijuana, meth, and plastic explosives.
That way the dogs alert to the visa - the agent knows that this is an immigrant and can do whatever he wants.
And when the dog *doesn't* alert to the visa, the agent has an excuse to fuck with you until you provide proof of citizenship.
I don't know... I think i like this Beto O'Rourke guy
GAH! I blacked out again!
For a guy making a lot of sense, O'Rourke drones harder than GILMORE's mom.
Just for perspective: When they talk about the 100 mile border exception, international airports and sea ports are considered borders. When I go to my favorite rotisserie chicken place for lunch, US CBP "Field Agents" are always there in "police cars".
Almost the entirety of New England is 100 miles from the border.
I've been hassled by the Border Patrol in central Maine. Fucking annoying as shit.
What is Border Patrol in Maine worried about? And why do many of you face so many of these incidences?
Meeting their quotas so that their bosses can justify their budget, I would assume.
What are they concerned about? Cheap RX meds and maple syrup?
Weird, my grandpa used to bring back both fairly regularly.
Are you "white Canadian" too?
Yes. My mom is from Plattsburgh, New York. On Lake Champlain in the Adirondacks.
My great-grandparents were French-Canadians.
I'm more than 100 miles from the Mexican border, and I see US customs doing traffic stops all the time, because LAX. They were even out in force at the Rose Bowl this year, for reasons that I can't fathom. (Other than FYTW)
That does explain why I see CBP in Riviera Village sometimes.
Anywhere cops get free food, or "love" as it is sometimes called.
There is some good food in Riveria village, too. Mostly Huevos Rancheros.
Check Matt's Twitter timeline for my brilliant suggestion of a name for his new segment.
Yeah, yours was wayyyy better.
Nicely done.
Wait...never mind, that's just the stream cutting to commercial.
You're only missing boner pill ads, cholesteral meds, anti-snoring.
Yes, it must be so hard raping a mother and her two daughters. No wonder he killed himself from all that workplace stress!
Mr. Beto there was pretty impressive for a D. Doesn't he realize he's on the wrong side of the fence?
He's probably too liberal on social issues and immigration to be a Republican.
And being from El Paso it makes sense that could run and win as a single-issue politician.
The only time that immigration officers have ever been nice to me when I re-enter the USA was when I recently entered with my wife, who is not an American citizen, but a permanent resident. Go figure, they are always total pricks with me when I am entering my own country. When she told me they are always so nice to her, I didn't believe it. But, when I entered with her, yeah, they were so nice. Maybe it's only because she's so cute.
Anyway, we'll have to see where he's at on economic issues, because any libertarian GOP member is going to be more liberal on social issues and immigration.
Scissor Sisters, eh?
Oh good, they brought the hot Daily Beast chick back. Maybe Kennedy will let her talk.
Matt's putting on the Alpha pants.
But they're not allowed to cum.
Do the coppers still have to pay at the end?
Only if it's happy.
Come on, show, the obvious pun graphic title is Hawaii 5-Hos
I thought the Honolulu police were too busy killing and burying drifters and beach bums to bang prostitutes.
Can't it be both? Increase funding!
Oh, Matt - be realistic. "Cops NOT have sex with hookers?" HA!
citation required
Here's a tip for all you budding motorcycle racers out there. When your motorcycle billows smoke for nearly a full lap, and then stops, it hasn't fixed itself. It's just out of oil.
GET OFF THE RACING LINE.
It's strategic. He's blinding the riders behind him.
Next tip for racers of all sorts:
No, it won't fix itself. Get off the track and stop embarrassing yourself.
You have to rape a few eggs to arrest an omelette.
I have in the past noted on the near universal-applicability of the 'light grey suit w/ purple tie' get up?
See = pee-wee herman guy. It works.
Yes. Connecting cops and hookers. Good idea. Swell.
Originally FBI did stand for Federal Breast Inspector.
There is only one intergalactic breast inspector.
Pinterest? Your brand just dropped by 50%.
If I linked to the original Cracked article you might not have gotten the point. It's not my Pinterest, so I'm fine. I think it's nicole's.
"The big fish in that sex trade"
"let's skin that cat"
I'm confused
Something about catfish. That's what I took away.
It's this furry thing that smells like a fish.
There's more than one way to fillet a catfish.
Does this mean solicitation isn't grounds for divorce in Hawaii where coppers are involved?
Richard Hell and the Voidoids: Blank Generation. I bought that as a cut-out about 36 years ago
The segment title is worse when Kennedy says it out loud, repeatedly. Maybe the intern could do a graphic with flower chains as text or something and never have the hosts say the words.
Breaking news: Bob Vila is alive.
Holy crap, it is him!
Grassology is the... whatever it is for me.
Grassology!! At last.
Oh...it's lawn. Never mind.
I don't know what grassology is, and I don't think I want to find out unless it involves getting stoned.
Dead Lou
And then a rabbit kills the snail.
Does Carter have access to diplomatic mail services as an ex-Presidential courtesy?
The diplomatic pouch is just for State Dept employees' drugs and other contraband.
No franking privileges, no diplomatic pouches.
Note to self: no return address on the anthrax envelopes.
Have fun with the government agents who are on their way!
Yeah, JW of Ft Worth, Texas!
Jimmy Carter fucks with the NSA by making them steam open his letters.
They take photos of the envelopes I send to my grandson??
I'll bet they love the Tigger stamps that I affix to the front.
Kennedy hates it when points are being made.
Aw, Kennedy, don't derail the man's thoughts. That's mean!
Is that true.
[citation required]
If so, no wonder they're broke.
The mail thing?
That sounds consistent with the mail processing stories I've heard. There are a few locations across the country where images of mail that's been rejected by the OCR system are read by human beings. They take images of all the mail as it's being initially scanned. I don't know how long the retention for the images is or if post-OCR'd data is saved in a database.
The USPS imaging system is how they caught some of the dealers from Silk Road.
Thank Zod for that.
They are such good stewards of our tax dollars.
The images are generally stored for between a week and 30 days and then disposed of,
Seems short. Not sure I buy that it doesn't end up in a DB.
Hey Epi, were those mudslides anywhere near you?
I'm drinking wine, Ken. Mudslides are disgusting.
Don't tell jesse.
But seriously, I was wondering if you and dunphy were both ok. Well, one of you two.
Wait, why me?
I don't think I've ever had a mudslide.
I haven't either. But now I really want one.
WHAAA???
You're female. In college. That's what you people drink!
I though college chicks drank Cisco.
OG Cisco or that new-fangled shit lacking the agro?
US PEOPLE? I don't do girl drinks, thanks though.
Heh. I wouldn't consider a mudslide a "girl" drink. But in my experience it was popular with the XX-chromosoned.
What do you drink?
Pretty much anything with gin in it, though I've yet to try a martini. Also margaritas, which maybe are a girl drink? They're hard to avoid in the Southwest.
There's nothing girly about a drink with tequila in it.
Hooray tequila!!
Tequila is proof that the devil loves us.
OK, I'm stealing that one to affix to Ben Franklin's one about beer.
Yeah, I'll drink margarita and woe be to the motherfucker who talks shit about it.
Pretty much anything with gin in it, though I've yet to try a martini.
I like you already. Don't fuck around with dirty martinis and no, if it has vodka in it, it's not a martini. Beat the waiter and tell him/her that it's called a kangaroo.
Get high-quality gin, I like Hendricks, Epi like Crater Lake. I've tried Citadel and it's not bad. Plenty of small batch distillers out there to find one you like. Don't fall for the wisp of vermouth shit either. I go with a 6-1 ratio, gin to vermouth, and that's to my liking. Most recipes call for a 2-1 ratio, but I think that's way too much.
Get a good vermouth as well and keep it refrigerated. Nothing wrong with the Martini brand. Olives or lemon peel are the only garnishes you need.
Kalamata olives = better.
Of course you like me, I'm awesome. If anyone around here tells you different, you let me know.
I am copying & saving this information for future reference, thank you!
That was a poor attempt at humor.
In all fairness I have no problem with any of the component parts.
I wanted a drink Saturday, but needed to be sober enough to go drinking that night, and didn't like the beer options in my fridge and drank the better part of bottle of Bailey's on the rocks.
Also the official drink of my college newspapers editing staff was White Russians, which is kind of a half-assed mudslide.
Why don't we do a "weekend Reason getaway" in the IE at our place? OK, I'm ready to schedule it.
If you are in the Perris area, you should mention skydiving.
I won't be available for the next three weekends, but I'm certainly down.
What is a mudslide?
Something, something, Baileys, etc.
GIRL DRINK DRUNK
This & the menstruation sketch are why I love Dave Foley.
Something you can get at TGIFridays if you want a milkshake with a minuscule amount of booze.
The obvious solution is to carry a flask.
Carrying a flask is the solution to basically all problems, no?
It caused me a 3rd kid.
I thought you blamed Hawaii and your wife's bikini for that.
If I hadn't been drinking on the beach all day, I would have remembered to ask about birth control instead of going into full viking mode.
I like how you're not placing any blame on her for this.
It's not her fault. I wouldn't say no to me either.
I'm now drinking Rich and Rare Canadian (Style) Whiskey and RC 10. Like I have any room to talk about anything or anybody. But I am listening to Blondie, so
I'm now drinking Rich and Rare Canadian (Style) Whiskey and RC 10. Like I have any room to talk about anything or anybody. But I am listening to Blondie, so
Fuck you, squirrels.
Accidents Never Happen
Yes, Independents, fall for it hook, line and sinker.
Judge Joe Brown arrested.
http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2.....mpt-court/
Taking it from Kmele.
Who wins the NCAA Tourney this year: discuss.
I'm (grudgingly) saying scUM beats the Gators in the finals.
Me too.
* Takes a sip of bourbon and looks out window sadly
Bourbon? Is it morning already?
It's always morning in my liver.
I miss you and V. We may be begging you two to come out soon.
After April 15. We're there.
Shit, after April 15, you may have to visit us somewhere else...I hope.
You seem to be able to move on short notice. How do you pack up all of your shoes so quickly?
I like my Badgers. I could actually see them winning. But it'll probably be Florida or Lville.
I really can't get over that fucking shirt.
Matt must have gone to Erik Estrada's yard sale or something.
Comfort yourself with the fact that if that's true, at least he didn't pay full price for it.
HI-YO
Charles Barkley was commentator on a televised golf match, and at one point he commented on the clothes of one golfer in particular:
'If that's what he selected, what in hell did he decide he didn't want to wear?!'
Tryhard.
AAAHHH DOBBS!
AH! Lou Dobbs.
AIIGGHHH LOU DOBBS
For you Peanuts - George Carlin on the NRA:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPDuYXGAuBw
Please tell us more about this George Carlin person, because we have never heard of him.
I loved Carlin.
He hated government, religion, feminists and conservatives!
He also hated tree-huggers and political correctness:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjmtSkl53h4
Awesome! So do I.
Although I don't "hate" tree-huggers so much as I pity them.
That's nice, here's a video of you relaxing at home:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciLllSAcF-8
That's not very Catholic of you. And yet I strongly approve.
You're right, it's uncharitable, and I need to work on that.
Moar please.
You want it? You got it! Raw and uncensored!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LnTjz3hItk
What, no money shot?
That's nice, here's a video of you relaxing at home:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciLllSAcF-8
I'm half zonked watching the Habs/Bruins and this. Can't stop laughing.
GAAHH!! DOBBS!
WELL NOW WHAT DO I DO
My God, Lou Dobbs is such a dinosaur, no?
Oh, and sorry to tell you folks, the plane crashed and your loved ones are all dead, because we had priorities, you know, like fighting the war on drugs and important stuff, we didn't have time to worry about your serf relatives.
Yeah, it's liquid cocaine in those condoms.
Weren't there some folks saying this way back when?
Something, something, foreseeable consequences...
Well it only took a decade and a hundred billion or so before anyone acknowledged reality. which I suppose is better than average. Think of the Drug War.
So I can assume all the ethanol subsidies will immediately be rescinded and the price of food will return to normal?
ha hah haHAHAHA HAHAAHAHAHA HAHAHA AHAAAAAAAHAHA HAAHA HA HA HA HA HAH A HAH AAHAAAAAA
chokes...
uhm.
Right!
No, dude: the script goes like this = now that we know its a bad thing? it takes another 10 years of each party blaming the other one for it while both expressing dismay how hard it is to undo these complex laws. They hope people will forget about it.
Listen, Teleprompter Jesus speaks! Bad Putin, that's a bad mister Putin! Respect mah authoritah!
Excuse me now, I have to meet with my advisors on how I will present my next worthless talking point.
Kmele doing a blaccent right now.
No name-dropping of Sowell's Black Rednecks and White Liberals? Shame on you, Kmele! Shame on you!
This is a sleeper thread. I thought it had about 200 posts and we are getting close to 500.
Late Nite Links rule, AM links drool.
Some doucher (a young guy too!) just put Steve Miller "Swingtown" on the jukebox. What's wrong with the youth of today?
Get off my lawn. Now.
Aaaaaasggghhhh!!!! jungle love? Finishing my Bulliet and heading home.
You're such a Joker, EDG. I bet they call you the gangster of love.
You just made The List. See you soon, pal.
Nothing compared with what was and is wrong with Steve Miller.
His music sucks.
Countered with "Cortez The Killer" and some Buzzcocks.
Oops! Went off the rails and went Redd Kross, Fu Manchu, and Monster Magnet. Time to go home.
Maybe he went to Wisconsin? It is (or at least was when I was there) sort of like the Sweet Caroline of Wisconsin football.
What is this, I don't even...
Lachlan Markay! DON'T SPEAK HIS NAME!
Uh oh. Weigel reference and the show comes to a halt.
Is it pronounced Why-gil or Wee-gil? I prefer the latter because it kind of sounds like weasel.
Its German for "catheter lube"; I don't know how its pronounced
If I had my way I'd make the 3 Independents do this quick musical bit at the end of every evening =
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy9_lfjQopU
"Voices Carry" just came on and Banjos said she loves this song. I swear, I never beat her once.
What do you mean by "came on"? I know it's on your playlist.
Don't talk shit about Til Tuesday!
You never once cut off her pigtails in the theatre? Swear to it man, we don't believe you!
Even on threads voices carry!
I wondered what the fuck you were talking about till I remembered Gang Green didn't do the original version.
"Warren Buffett Wants To Change The Bracket Challenge Next Year So It's Easier To Win The Billion"
http://www.sfgate.com/technolo.....344251.php
Yeah, and advertisers prefer a super bowl that isn't a blow-out, too. I have a hard time believing that the actuaries working at his insurance companies didn't point out that the game would be over on day two, and you're not gonna get any more clicks.
Like any good capitalist Buffett wants to maintain the high premium paid to him.
Based on this year that premium should be only about $1 million but I suspect he pulled $20 million or so.
Just in case anybody is interested, we are in the finals for casting of "The Great Food Truck Race". We will expect some serious eating when we hit everybody's city. Especially Warty.
I'd watch that.
Let me know when you get to Balmer, hon.
I hope you have chicken and fish.
Or chicken and crabs.
Or chicken and shrimp.
Or chicken and beef.
Or chicken and pork.
Or chicken and chicken.
Or chicken and fucking anything.
Did that sound racist?
Also, fried chicken
Both Hyperion and me will be there.
When does this happen?
El Camion, Ken. Their mole tamales are fantastic. My friend and I used to get them after playing tennis at Ballard High.
Nice, Playa mentioned your food truck thing. What is it you sell?
We're gonna be "The Liberty Grill". High-end American bar food. As in, all my recipes and Kara and my mother manning the window and the sammich table with me killing it on the grill.
Hell, we may just want to go ahead and crowdsource this thing and make it a Reason reality.
I always thought of you as a front man.
Well if you're ever in Long Beach or Anaheim I'll be sure to give you my patronage.
When we last discussed your Lechon Asado recipe from when you were a chef in Puerto Rico, we didn't actually discuss ingredients. You basically told be how to molest a dead baby pig.
What are we looking at here? Sour Orange/Naranja Agria? Garlic? Oregano? Cumin?
You must have misunderstood when I said "inject".
You filthy fuck.
You also used the terms "massage" and "little squealer".
Yeah, but not in the biblical sense.
INXS on the radio. Just asked Banjos, "How would you like me to go out like Michael Hutchence?"
Her response: "How did he go out?"
It's like I don't even know my wife. Please, somebody fill her in (no pun intended) on this.
"David Carradine style"
Egads!
The best part is that you totally got the Carradine thing. Poor grasshopper, what a way to be remembered.
Wha? Hot coals on his forearms?
When I was a kid, I loved that show 'Kung Fu'. I can't remember any TV show ever that I liked more than that.
Really? Well, your hero hung himself while jacking off in a closet.
Hey, I can think of worse ways to go.
Well, as Weedhopper, after kicking the arses of every bigot in the US SW, he didn't have anything else left to do.
Seconded. Thursday nights that was all I hung around to watch.
Goddammit, I have the most beautiful kids in the world.
Anybody want to dispute that shit? Reason Sofia (PHUB Nicole) and Liberty Ordeth Cranberry Spicer are the prettiest babies ever made. Suck it!
Ours has hair, so he's automatically in the running.
Chupacabra child?
Umm, you forgot 2 kids? Kenny Jr is going to slay some bitches when he's older, in spite of the shirt you bought him.
With your consent, I would like to post a link to his My Little Pony shirt. Even with that horrible handicap, he's still going to come out way ahead.
That's a ploy by my badass son to sucker people in to thinking he's not gonna kick ass.
And it's Kenny IV, by the way...
He's the fourth? So am I. It's an exclusive club. Of course my actual name is way more German and badass than "Kenny".
Klaus? Hans? Karl?
Oh, silly Serious Man. Epi doesn't make mistakes like that.
You're a fourth? Then you know what I'm talking about.
Oh, believe me, I know. I'm also the first son of the first son of the first son (which I guess is the only way I can be the fourth, after all). I just wish I wasn't a Lannister.
Don't the genes start to drift by the 4th cycle?
Epi Von Nostrund IV ?
OK, so when I post the picture, I'll call him Sloopy Jr.
Sloopy Jr, who will pull 10x more tail than his dear old dad, in spite of the Brony shirt.
Poon magnet!
I'm sure I have a few out there somewhere that are better looking.
All named Snow.
Responsible and classy. I like the cut of your jib.
Great names, but I dunno, my granddaughter has has the biggest blue eyes and captivating smile I've ever seen, at one year last week.
Maybe we need a baby pic contest. I'm gonna win, just for fair warning.
David Bowie...best musical artist through for decades. I Challenge anybody to dispute it.
I love the Thin White Duke, but Peter Gabriel is hard to beat. Now I need to get stoned and listen to The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. Like I do every other night.
Gabriel was solid as a rock, but Bowie kept paeople dancing. Big difference.
Listen to "Modern Love" and say that again. It's funny that they both have a song called "Modern Love".
Don't forget, most of us still can get thrown into an iron cage for getting stoned.
Well, maybe you should move to Washington. Or Colorado, I suppose, if you want to be embarrassed in the Superbowl.
Dude, I was rooting for the Sea Chickens. Where is the embarrassment?
Also, If any company in CO or WA can pay my salary and benefits, I don't have a problem with moving. Right now, I'm hoarding for retirement so I can retire anywhere on the globe that I want to.
Costa Rica? Bahamas? Or are you retiring to your grandkids college fund?
Brazil.
Intrigued. Go on...
Can't go on too much. Still considering many places for retirement, including here in the US, mostly TN and SC. Depending on how things go for the next few years.
No income tax in the Volunteer State. Look for a nice country place less than an hour or so from Nashville/Chattanooga or Knoxville.
Ouch.
I really liked the Jazzin in Blue Jeans video. But outside of that, meh.
What were we talking about?
Let's see: All the early shit, all the Ziggy shit, all the "China Girl" sit and then th =e fact that he was cool as fuch thru the 00's.
Aw fuvk it, I'n drunk.
The B side of Hunky Dory is the best single album side of recorded music.
Aaaaaand, we have finally found an intelliget comment.
Other than the Jazzin Lord Byron thing, this is way more cool than anything Bowie has ever done:
New Pollution
Steven Tyler
Haha. Douche,
Aersosmith has done some very cool stuff, like Lord of the Thighs, No more, no more, and lots of other stuff off of their earlier albums. No doubt one of the greatest rock bands of all time.
Eric Clapton.
^^FAG^^
I'm not sure what you meant. By "through" I thought you meant someone who hasn't done anything useful in decades. Clapton was pretty much through by 1966.
The zombification of the Gender Pay-Gap meme
And since I am so incredibly tired of hearing that the gender wage gap has been "debunked," let's direct everyone's attention to a report from the Government Accountability Office on how the pay gap persists even after one takes into account part-time work and women working fewer hours or taking time off to raise children or care for family members. (All lifestyle "choices," by the way, that are deeply informed by cultural norms that shoulder women with a majority of caregiving responsibilities)
After doing a quantitative analysis of a nationally representative longitudinal data set, the GAO found that while many factors influence wage disparities, when you remove all of these differences, women still earn around 80 percent of men's wages. "Even after accounting for key factors that affect earnings," the report notes, "our model could not explain all of the difference in earnings between men and women."
Democratic lawmakers have made closing the gender pay gap a major issue in the lead-up to the 2014 midterms, Wendy Davis is destroying Greg Abbott over his shameful record on pay equity, and women workers are an enormous part of the labor strikes that are sweeping the country right now and shaping how we talk about pay, economic equality and poverty.
Yeah, that's what I meant by zombification. It's been fatally wounded by reality (even feminist writers are bailing on it) but still lumbers on aided by Democrats and shameless websites like Salon.
What about the pay gap between the attractive, hair-endowed and the ugly, bald people? Are women more important just because they're less likely to suffer from receding hairlines and more people want to have sex with them?
There ought to be a law. But nobody will admit to being a member of the protected class...
I'm a proud member of the fat, ugly, bald class.
Nice false modesty, you transparent rent seeker!
Have they quarantined the Canadian border yet?
Government subsidized maple syrup was bad enough but now they got the Ebola.
How transphobic are you?
A very special Buzzfeed quiz.
I'm totally PC on teh trans. I can also recite The Little Red Book forwards and backwards. See you in the camps, you running dog lackeys!!
My score: "No one is perfect, but yikes."
I dissembled and got "not at all". I'm angling for a "Kapo" job.
You got: Not very, if at all
Same. Is there a prize?
I thought it was a bit charitable. I'm not even sure what some of the questions were asking.
I couldn't answer honestly. I was compelled to choose every answer that would give me the worst score.
You are free to be whatever you want to be, but please don't insist that I must treat you IAW your wishes.
Does that make me a bigot?
No. Until that word gets redefined too.
I honestly couldn't care enough to finish the quiz. None of that shit makes a bit of difference to me. I care about some other person's self-selected gender about as much as I care about their shoe size. "Whatever" in neon.
Will we ever reach Peak Cute?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQBWFbDz9JI
Kitty crack!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlvShdmpZHY
Good Night. I'm going to watch the second half of Perry Mason and go to bed.
Revolution
Cats and dogs looking out for each other - nature gets all wussy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5O3DMDHY-Y
Are you sitting down?
BECAUSE THEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE
It's probably nothing
Great. Canadians have brought the plague to North America. I knew the end would come from north of the wall.
Not so fast. There is tuberculosis to be had in SoCal if you buy your unpasteurized (bath tub) cheese at the swap meet.
Am I comment #700?
I AM NOT A NUMBER
LIAR. We all know you're a Cylon.
it's Spelled CANADIAN
Uh, yeah...that's what I said.
Colonel Tigh was Canadian. Explains the saltiness and drinking.
sixty five i was 17, runnin' on runnin runnin' brhind. everyone i know.
Tell him Kmele.
Such a feelin's comin' over me
There is wonder in most every thing I see
Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream
-Warty
Helpful hints on balancing your feminism and your relationship
I like how some of the Jezzie commenters get defensive about it. These signs make the offensive suggestion that some feminists can be shrieking harpies about innocuous things.
I had Jezebel sauce on my Blue Grouse Cordon Bleu this evening.
I'm afraid that if I click on that, my brain will explode.
That is a beta circle jerk of the highest order. Maybe that is where FdA got his jizebel sauce. There has to be at least a quart of it left over after the sign making party.
Why should I sacrifice my tendency to be insulted when someone holds the door open just for a little human companionship? My 100 cats know to never do anything for me and they don't complain.
We should lighten things up and discuss the dead babies aborted fetuses that apparently have become the new fossil fuel alternative in English Hospitals.
"Sir, you clearly signed formed A1232VTX which allows us to use your dead baby medical waste as fuel in order to offset the cost of your wife's stay here at the hospital. Now if you'll just sign here we can clear up this whole matter.........."
"it's just standard garbage disposal protocol, thank you.."
Well, it's pretty clear who's at fault: capitalism.
*flicks lint off lapel, smirks*
Your workout is broken
698
699
700. Win.
AIEEEE
Your attempted hijacking has failed.
According to whose standards? Yours? We refuse to bow to your dictatorial post counting!
The science is settled.
Oh, geez...I'm sorry, I didn't realize Bill Nye was posting here!
I liked you when I was five, Mr. Nye!
Beakman's World was better anyway. Even if Beakman wasn't a real person or scientist.
Don't make me google things, kid. I'm performing a fine balancing act of posting here & doing homework.
Are you guys too young for Mr. Wizard?
Newton's Apple!
I've at least heard of Mr. Wizard -- but never saw him, no.
You're too late, he's dead now.
I'll be sure to pencil a quick mourning into my calendar.
That was a good one! Especially if you use google calendar.
A man who tried to sue a prostitute to get a refund on an incomplete "session" has had his lawsuit dismissed by a judge as frivolous and vexatious.
The man, identified in court papers only as Mr N, sought more than $80,000 in compensation and damages in the High Court in Auckland. He said he had not stayed for the full two hours he paid for the last time he met the prostitute.
He also claimed the prostitute, identified in court as Ms M, owed him compensation for a mobile phone he had given her to arrange their weekly meetings.
The pair had been in a two-month contractual sexual relationship but their last "session" ended in a verbal disagreement at a brothel in February 2012.
remember sick days?
Voyage of the Mimi
with special guest star, Ben Affleck.
Computer Chronicles: Multitasking
Consumer buying guide.
Emma Watson laments lack of role options, cites refusal to sex herself up
However, she has now said that she struggles to convince people she is capable of playing older characters because of the more classy outfits she wears away from the screen.
She told Elle Magazine: 'In my downtime, I don't sex myself up much. Sometimes I have a hard time convincing directors that I can play more adult roles.'
She added: 'I was being offered roles that I didn't feel were very complicated. Women that were one dimensional. Roles that required me to be one thing, but real women never are.'
She added in the interview with Elle magazine: 'I just don't want a life where I can't have a life.
'I remember reading this thing that Elizabeth Taylor wrote. She had her first kiss in character on a movie set. It really struck me. I had this sense that if I really wasn't really careful, that could be me. That my first kiss could be in somebody else's clothes.
'And my experiences could all belong to someone else.' She said that at times she worried that she had done the wrong thing by going to university, thinking: 'I don't know if I can do this, or if this is sensible any more.' However she added: 'I just don't want a life where I can't have a life.'
By all means, sex yourself up.
I just watched This Is The End this weekend for the first time, where they have a rape joke with Emma that's kinda funny.
But I mean, she will be 40 and still look 18. Not a bad problem to have.
I was mildly amused by that movie.
I wasn't disappointed? I guess?
I will watch pretty much any movie with Craig Robinson at this point, sans Tyler Perry.
Best amazon review ever?
I was honestly not expecting the product to be live crickets.
I collect funny Amazon reviews, thank you.
I think my favorite is the prose-like Tuscan Whole Milk one
http://www.amazon.com/review/R.....07YYORZMZE
The Dr Yoo Guardian Angel reviews are great too
http://www.amazon.com/Dr-Yoo-G.....B000Q2ULMY
How about the Gummi Bear Cleanse?
nice. "some say the farts are the screams of the damned"
My all time favorite-
No more winning for you, Mr. Banana!
I also enjoy these Mr. Men book reviews
create a tax credit for TV shows that staff their writing rooms with non-whites and non-males.
*narrows eyes*
I blame Portlandia for bringing the 90s back.
The 1890s you mean.
Cyril: I am not timid!
Pam: Dude, your balls are made of pussy.
Goddamnit, I love 'Archer'.
750. Impressive.
G-night Reasonoids.