Reason Morning Links: A New Dawn

- The Iraq War: It may not be over, but it has a spiffy new name!

- Both inflation and applications for unemployment insurance go up.

- New York's former police chief gets a four-year prison sentence.

- A rumor of a same-sex wedding sparks anti-gay riots in Kenya.

- Federal cops keep losing their guns.

Comments

[Johnny Longtorso]

The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals

[robc]

Does that need to be posted in every thread this week?

[FrBunny]

And by the same person two days in a row?

[Johnny Longtorso]

Yes. That is my new purpose in life. Annoying FrBunny amuses me. 🙂

[Corduroy Rocks]

I can't come up with anything to say. Really. There's got to be a good joke somewhere in there, but all I can think is "WHAT AN F'ING IDIOT" Does anyone read that and believe it? Of course they do, and that makes me even more irritated.

OK, rant over.

I'll have images of Bea Arthur in drag floating in my head for days.

[wylie]

There's got to be a good joke somewhere in there

Yup. Robot Chicken did a sketch about it: Golden Girls in the City.

[Jesse Walker]

There's got to be a good joke somewhere in there, but all I can think is "WHAT AN F'ING IDIOT"

The article is a satire, CR. ChristWire is a parody site.

[Corduroy Rocks]

Well now, don't I feel like an ass

[Johnny Longtorso]

Obama to Unveil Additional Homeowner Aid
...The program, which Mr. Obama will announce in Las Vegas, is for states where the average home value for all homeowners in the state has dropped more than 20% from its value at the height of the housing bubble. About a half-dozen states qualify, including Nevada, Florida, California and Michigan.

Mr. Obama is appearing in Nevada Friday with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who is fighting for re-election in November amid voter anger over the state's high unemployment and widespread housing woes....

[R C Dean]

So, lets go to the states where the bubble was the absolute worst, and keep pumping it up!

Genius. Sheer, perverse genius. Its like he gets up every morning and asks himself "What's the most counterproductive, damaging thing I can do today?"

[Pablo]

I'm still amazed at all the people who seem to think foreclosure = homelessness. It doesn't. All it means is you move into a cheaper home, and rent for a while if you have to. You live within your means. Why is it so bad when people have to do that?

[T]

Because the government, a long time ago, decided home ownership was a Good Thing. They have spent years bombarding us with propaganda and programs to the effect that it is a Good Thing. They must act to preserve the Good Thing or some people might question the necessity of all the programs that encourage it. A little propaganda is nothing in the face of a collapse in the perception of that Good Thing.

[Ascended Kyle Jordan]

"The Iraq War: It may not be over, but it has a spiffy new name!"

Does anyone know how to scream "WOLVERINES!!!" in Arabic or Kurdish?

[Almanian]

"Fuck tha Police!" Something like that.

[JW]

Dumbass. That's Italian.

[Vito Herring]

Fucka.

[Easy E]

No that's straight outta Compton...Mother F*cker.

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

It would be nice to drop the pretense that the occupation of Iraq had any fucking thing to do with "Iraqi Freedom", but a "New Dawn"? Christ that's just as bad. It's the same bullshit with a New Age gloss on it. Shiny bullshit is still bullshit.

[PIRS]

How about simply dropping all pretense entirely and call it "Operation Try to Make the Commander IN Chief's Poll Numbers Go Up"?

[John]

The fact that the military can't think of cool names to call their operations anymore, shows that maybe your civilization isn't what it used to be. In World War II we had Overlord. In Vietnam we had linebacker. Even the first gulf war "Desert Storm" wasn't that bad. But in the 21st Century we come up with one dumb ass name after another.

[Tulpa]

Yeah, it's been downhill ever since "Operation Wetback".

[robc]

The problem is they arent code names for operations anymore, they are PR names.

Desert Storm was only okay following up the awful Desert Shield.

[29InNet]

If we are to drop pretense, then call it "The Most Powerful Military in the World Parked Square in the Middle of the Most Potentially Explosive Part of the World...So Quit F*ing with US!"

Or in the military acronym- "TMPMWPSMMPEPW...FU"

[MlR]

I think 'Just Cause'... (Just cuz...) started the trend...but I might be wrong on that.

[MlR]

Since then...Restore Hope, Restore Democracy, Enduring Freedom, et. all.

Christ, just call it 'Save the Puppies, Making Love not War' and be done with it.

[Robert Gates]

OK, I hear you ...

How about: "Operation Overly Flamboyant"?

[Corduroy Rocks]

Golden Girls Go Baghdad

[Ska]

Iraqi Figure Skaters Take Gold

[guy in the back row]

Operation keep gas prices low?

[Janet Napolitano]

Top. Men.

[Corduroy Rocks]

That would be a first for you Janet

[Joe M]

Fake pot that acts real stymies law enforcement

And the sub-title, for the win, if by win, you mean loss: K2 made of obscure but easily accessible substance that isn't yet regulated

Because obviously, any new substance that people are enjoying must eventually be made illegal. Fucking obnoxious.

[Binky]

Hey, it's labeled "Not For Consumption" so there's no need to regulate it.

[John]

With the advances in chemestry and the availability of chemical techniques to your amateur scientist that were unheard of just a few years ago, I wonder if more of this won't start happening. I mean if you can chemically mimic THC, why can't you do the same for other drugs?

Notice in the article that they never bother to even consider if the stuff is dangerous. They only talk about how it makes you feel just like you have smoked a joint. That should be looked at as a good thing. Finally marijuana users can get high without the health effects of the real thing. Instead, these people are having fainting fits, which just shows the ban on marijuana is just about a bunch of assholes worried someone might be having a good time.

[Nick]

It's very possible the real thing is safer than this alternative. Most illegal drugs are fairly safe. You're just not allowed to be happy. For the children.

[John]

It may well be more dangerous. But, I bet both are pretty harmless. Regardless, no one is allowed to have fun or escape their lousy lives. Being miserable builds character.

[R C Dean]

Finally marijuana users can get high without the health effects of the real thing.

What health effects? The ban on marijuana was never about health, anyway.

[TrickyVic]

"""The ban on marijuana was never about health, anyway""

It was about mental health, haven't you seen Reefer Madness?

[JD]

Because of the Federal Analog Act, that's why. The Feds got tired of having to specifically outlaw every single new drug, so they just made a law that basically says, "If it quacks like an already illegal drug, then it's illegal too."

On the one hand I can see where the Feds were coming from, because being able to say, "Nuh-uh, this isn't Ecstasy, this is a stereochemically different enantiomer (that happens to act exactly the same)" as a defense against drug charges does seem kind of stupid, but OTOH, for the feds to be able to say, "Well, if it gets you high, it's illegal, and we don't have to specifically say what or how or why" seems just as bad in the other direction.

[Ska]

You know what's worse than that story? The links at the bottom of the page to the other nanny articles.

[Atanarjuat]

You know what's worse than that story? The links at the bottom of the page to the other nanny articles.

You don't think third-hand smoke is a danger to babies!? Evidently it's not, unless you also expose it to three hours of airborne nitrous acid from an unvented gas-burning appliance.

Unvented gas appliances are the main source of nitrous acid indoors.

The researchers used cellulose as a model of indoor material, and exposed it to cigarette smoke. They then exposed it to a "high but reasonable" concentration of nitrous acid for three hours. The levels of newly formed TSNAs were 10 times higher after the nitrous acid exposure. The TSNAs also formed quickly, the researchers found.

(from http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35.....ddictions/)

[cmace]

Federal cops keep losing their guns.

Easy. You maintain physical contact with the weapon at all time. Shit, shower, sleep.

[Atanarjuat]

Now we know where that mysterious 90% of guns used by Mexican drug cartels comes from.

[cmace]

Bernie's going to be very popular.

[Johnny Longtorso]

We've Just Gotten More Proof That Bernanke Has Been Replaced Already

[Pro Libertate]

"New Dawn?" Did Procter & Gamble contribute money to someone's campaign or something?

[Dagny T.]

'Operation New Dawn'

AVENGE ME.

Even with the Chinese & goofy posters, there's no way the Swayze-less remake can measure up.

[Corduroy Rocks]

I think Kirk Cameron should take Swayze's place.

[wylie]

Chuck Norris.

[Dagny T.]

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the Rapture out of Kirk Cameron. This shit writes itself.

[wylie]

And on the 3rd day, Swayze rises from the grave.

[nch]

Meet the New Dawn; same as the Old Dawn.

[Nick]

From the Brickbats:

In Vancouver, Washington, a police SWAT team responded to a call that shots had been fired at a local elementary school. When they got there, they found the "shots" were fired by a second-grade boy wielding a bright orange cap gun.

From the source article:

District spokeswoman Kris Sork says school officials met with the boy and his parents to determine possible punishment.

Here's an idea. "Timmy, honey. You can't bring the cap gun to school any more. OK?" "OK, Mommy." Problem solved.

[John]

At least they met with the parents. The Canadians are soft. In America they would have shot him.

[dwcarkuff]

and rightfully so. If you're going to do zero tolerance, do it all the way.

[wylie]

otherwise it's not really zero tolerance. More like 0.5th tolerance.

[Dagny T.]

Vancouver, WA not Vancouver, BC. But their inferiority complex over being the lesser Vancouver practically makes them Canadian.

[SugarFree]

Minicouver.

Anyway, did you tell your sister at the Olympics to get you a Steve Smith doll?

Don't ask why he's grinning, though. [shudder]

[Dagny T.]

It's cute how they tried to make him safe for children by putting him in that rape-gear-concealing dress. Everyone knows no fur of man or beast can contain him.

My stupid sister is too busy going to events for free and spotting celebrities to get me a present, even though I am stuck in Connecticut working stupid 65 hours a stupid week.

[SugarFree]

How did you end up the responsible one? Olympic layabout and maple syrup thief siblings, and you an accountant?

At least you can see the sight of Conn... oh, wait. At least you can enjoy the fine nightlife... oh, wait. And the food... oh, wait.

Sorry, my dear Dagny.

[Dagny T.]

They're giving us a bit of a break this weekend so I will at least get to hang out in New York.

The next time I talk to her, I'm definitely using "Olympic layabout."

[SugarFree]

Just don't eat anything boring. If I hear about you going to the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. I'm giving Warty your LiveJournal URL.

[Nick]

And his dog.

[Michael Ejercito]

At least they met with the parents. The Canadians are soft. In America they would have shot him.

Since when was Washington a Canadian province?

[Cummin' Sense]

school officials met with the boy and his parents to determine possible punishment

... of the playground supervisor.

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

When I was in the second grade we played with capguns in the schoolyard. Heck, this was in East St. Louis, IL, not exactly the safest place in the world. But in those days it was understood that one of the points of recess was to let the boys burn off their energy.

[Seward]

The second story on inflation and unemployment looks like stagflation, which the neo-classicals and neo-Keynesians assured us would never happen again.

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

They have their answer ready: "It's because of that evil laissez faire capitalism of Bush!"

[John]

They need a better link for the Kerik case. What did he do? I don't see how lying on his application to be Sec of DHS and having some wiseguys fix his roof really justifies four years.

[wylie]

Lying to obtain a position of authority isn't like jaywalking.

4 years seems fair. Of course, that's coming from a guy who thinks the death penalty is appropriate for anyone who abuses a position of authority. YMMV

[TrickyVic]

""They need a better link for the Kerik case. What did he do? I don't see how lying on his application to be Sec of DHS and having some wiseguys fix his roof really justifies four years."

Is that all you got from the article?

"lying on his application to be the director of Homeland Security, lying to the feds, tax fraud, and accepting $250,000 in renovations to his Bronx apartment, provided by a company accused of having mob ties."

It was a $250,000 bribe to get Kerik to talk to some city officials into giving the (mob owned) company permits they couldn't get otherwise.

Besides, how much of a penalty to do think someone who lies to become the DHS director should receive anyway? In my opinion, he should have got more than 4 years for a single count.

[P Brooks]

Toyoda-san will testify before Congress.

I'm so disappointed; he should have told those morons to pound sand up their asses.

[Mike Laursen]

He still might. But he'll probably grovel. Sigh.

[JW]

Nah. You need Germans for that.

Once summoned before the Kabuki Theater, he was unable to refuse such a honored invitation.

[P Brooks]

I'll have images of Bea Arthur in drag floating in my head for days.

Okay- NOW I'm confused.

[John]

There is that old joke "I wouldn't fuck her with Bea Arthur's dick". Like chimps in suits, that one never gets old.

[robc]

I joke from the mid 00s is old now? I guess it was last decade and all.

[John]

It is that new? I always thought since it was about an old person and usually told by old people, it was a really old joke like from the 70s at least.

[Jesse Walker]

I first heard it on one of those Friars Club roasts on Comedy Central, somewhere in the 1999-2001 range. FWIW.

[Jesse Walker]

First heard it with Bea Arthur's name in it, that is.

[Skip]

Core Inflation Declines for the first time since 1982

[Slut Bunwalla]

Hey, totally not related to any topic here, but this is as good a place to bring this up as any.

I need some advice. Some of you are married to/in long-term relationships with people who don't exactly share your libertarian views, yes? How do you make that work?

[Nick]

Mouth party.

[Warty]

Lemon party.

[SugarFree]

Invisible Hand Bitchslap.

[robc]

A winner is you.

[Atanarjuat]

Start by discussing areas you both agree on. For example, my significant other (blue team) agreed that pot should be legal and from there I was eventually able to criticize the entire War on Drugs without skewering any of her sacred cows. But, when you start arguing against someone's deeply held beliefs, it turns to a shit-slinging contest quickly. You probably just want to lay the groundwork, explain liberty in the most abstract sense at first. She (now my ex, so take it FWIW) is still on the blue team but at least respects libertarians for being principled.

[Slut Bunwalla]

Seems reasonable (oh, uh...drink?) enough.

[T]

I married a staunchly Catholic conservative Republican, so I sympathize. Find the common points of agreement, and work out from there. There's always going to be areas where you'll have to agree to disagree. Sometime you just have to let them rant and smile and nod. The big thing is to not belittle or be disrespectful of your partner when you disagree. This is harder for some of us than others, but it's the key.

[Slut Bunwalla]

I would think a conservative would be easier to deal with than a liberal. At least you'd likely have a lot of fiscal ideas in common.

[Isaac Bartram]

She probably thought she could change you. No idea what your excuse is.

I kid.

[Glibertarian]

Boating accident

[JW]

Make it what?

[R C Dean]

Well, my wife is pretty contemptuous/skeptical of government (or at least pretends to be, whatever), so its not a big deal.

You might try this: every time she does something she enjoys, point out how somebody wants the state to suck all the fun out of it.

[Jeffrey]

I lived with a feminist social worker, who could argue no points but would constantly appeal to the authority of her "extremely intelligent" professors. Dinner parties with her retarded friends from school were hell. She also wanted me to go to couples counseling so that I could be told that my political views were a disorder, or something like that.

I say run.

[Spoonman]

Generally, we don't talk about it. She's convinced me that racism is significant, and I've convinced her the government has lots of unnecessary parts (she now hates the postal service), and we both hate war.

[SugarFree]

Inevitable Headline:

Operation "New Dawn" Fades

[The Angry Optimist]

So, I've decided to become a "Stackerist", and I hereby declare that the attack on the Austin IRS was a false-flag operation designed to discredit tax protestation and thererfore, the Tea Partiers by proxy.

[Johnny Longtorso]

The attack was by a man who quoted Marx.

[Corduroy Rocks]

Would any of the New Left know the difference?

[Nick]

These are the same peaceniks who wear Che t-shirts, so, not a chance.

[Joe M]

The labor market, hardest hit by the worst recession in seven decades, has lagged the economic recovery that started in the second half of 2009.

What recovery? That is pure fabrication.

[The Angry Optimist]

I need some advice. Some of you are married to/in long-term relationships with people who don't exactly share your libertarian views, yes? How do you make that work?

Not to be crass, but it's the same principle that restrains me from having sex with other women - I have an outlet at home. conversely, I have plenty of political outlets elsewhere (including my futuer in-laws dinner table, for starters 🙂

[Slut Bunwalla]

Fair enough.

[JW]

I have plenty of political outlets elsewhere (including my futuer in-laws dinner table, for starters 🙂

It's a good plan to avoid in-law family obligations.

[Slut Bunwalla]

"Dinner with your parents? Well, that sounds great, honey, but you know we'll just end up talking about politics, and I know how you hate that..."

[JW]

My M-i-L, who turned 80 last night, is a Jewish died-in-the-wool FDR democrat. I *always* keep my mouth shut about politics at family events until someone else breaches the wall. We've had political discussions, and arguments, before, but she keeps bringing up politics every time we get together. She knows my views and she seems to be OK with it, unlike the time when I worked for Heritage. I was persona non grata then.

But, she's pretty fucking awesome as people go, especially in-laws, so I don't mind it so much.

[R C Dean]

My M-i-L, who turned 80 last night, is a Jewish died-in-the-wool FDR democrat. I *always* keep my mouth shut about politics at family events

Trying to keep your spot in the will, I see. Can't argue with that.

[bigbigslacker]

I've yet to see any studies that answer the serious questions about how this drug affects the behavior of the male negro.

[Mike Laursen]

I love the New Dawn with the Direct Foam dispenser. Makes dishwashing a breeze!

[T]

I think I'm going to found the Hermetic Order of the New Dawn, devoted to Iraqi democracy, occult research, and clean dishes. So do I go non-profit, or just regular old greedy capitalist corporation?

[Mike M.]

Is the Department of Defense trying to cover up a possible Muslim plot to poison food at Ft. Jackson the same way they're trying to whitewash the true nature of the Ft. Hood killings?

[Tonio]

New York's former police chief gets a four-year prison sentence.

OK, according to the Gothamist article to which Welch linked, Kerik was police commissioner, not police chief.

Still, this was a good thing. As Balko fans know, it's rare for anyone who is/was police, prosecutor or judge to get more than a letter of reprimand for anything, no matter how egregious.

[heller]

Moar liek RED Dawn, amirite?