Reason Morning Links: Pirates, Bankers, UFOs, and Zombies
- Rebellion in Thailand, in Georgia, and in Moldova.
- The "largest bank failure in the nation so far this year."
- The Navy frees Capt. Richard Phillips from Somali buccaneers. Looking at the larger problem, Lester Hunt makes the case for private defense against pirates, and Nathan Hodges talks with a fellow in the private defense business. Johann Hari argues that some of the people dubbed pirates are engaged in a sort of private defense themselves. On the Big Picture beat: Is piracy an overstated threat?
- Goldman Sachs tries to silence a blogger.
- State and local governments raise funds via fees.
- Bad regulation drives out good.
- "Ten Things I Hate About NPR"
- Area 51 insiders spill the beans.
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Is piracy an overstated threat?
Yes! IP is not property! It's bits of data! I repeat!
"Ten Things I Hate About NPR"
You know what I hate? White text on a black background.
If it were a good idea, books would be published that way.
"Ten Things I Hate About NPR"
What is this? Amateur hour? Are you guys just pulling crazy shit off the internet at random or something?
I've wondered why someone with a 50 ft boat hasn't gotten a 20mm Vulcan installed, and charged the shipping companies $50 - 80,000 a pop to escort cargo ships around the horn of Africa. Even if you needed to pay a crew of 10-12, it still seems like you could make out with some serious cash.
What is this? Amateur hour?
It's morning links. Chill.
Oh, and drink? Don't mind if I do.
it still seems like you could make out with some serious cash
And pop some African saggers! Everybody wins!
Ed, bits are free. Ink is not.
"Oh, and drink? Don't mind if I do."
Lord, it's not even 9 am...
Baked
I can kind of see why the boats don't go armed...Think of banks. I don't think armed guards at banks would deter an armed robber. The guard is not on his ready all the time, and the robber picks his time to play his hand. Having an armed guard there probably just ups the robbers chances of actually shooting someone. Maybe ditto for the armed boats, and so insurance for that is way higher...
Furthermore, I can't really get worked up over the deaths of armed thugs threatening the lives of innocent sailors to steal millions. Sorry 'bout that, big guy. Their ethnicity / point of origin is irrelevant.
MNG - I'm not saying the cargo ships go armed, I'm saying "if I had a 50 ft. power boat, I could stick a 20mm chain gun and a couple of .50 cal machine guns on it, and provide escort services at a very high price."
MNG - to further the point, the cargo ship's crew can think about the cargo ship. It's the escort vessel that's looking out for pirates. Division of labor, and all that.
Ten Things I Hate About NPR
I *only* listen to NPR when I don't listen to an audio book in my car, due to the fact that every other radio station in Atlanta sucks balls. That said, I'd like to comment on two points the author made:
Hip-hop: Thanks to NPR, I now know that there is a difference between hip-hop and rap. I still don't know what difference, so I use the two terms at random, hoping to sound more sophisticated.
Fund drives: Obviously, I'm no fan of them, because they tend to interrupt stories, classical music and even The Prairie Home Companion. What ticks me off the most, though, that contributing to NPR got my name on all kinds of distribution lists, and now my mailbox is always full of requests for money. I've been contributing to about half-dozen select non-profits, but even all those combined didn't get me signed up for all the additional crap that NPR did.
I concur. Popping pirates is a feature. And if they're sagging, it's gravy.
Area 51 insiders spill the beans.
They are not real insiders. No mention of the underground DHMO distribution system.
ed,
You know what I hate? White text on a black background.
If it were a good idea, books would be published that way.
If books were published on a light bulb shining in your face I would agree with you.
I'm guessing that 80k would be a bit steep for protection compared to a vessels chances of being robbed. That is a very heavily trafficked shipping lane. If the average ransom is 2mm bucks, 80k worth of protection means piracy would have to be more likely than 1 in 25 trips to be economically viable as a solution. That, added to the fact that crewing a mercenary ship with 10 people ready to get into a shooting conflict would probably cost more than 80k.
If books were published on a light bulb shining in your face I would agree with you
I don't even know what that means. And yes, I'm aware that ink is not free.
Is today Literalist Monday? I didn't get the memo.
Almost time for my Sopranos rerun. Pussy gets it, I hear.
Ciao, bella!
Reason Morning Links: Pirates, Bankers, UFOs, and Zombies
Red meat for the commentariat, I see. You guy really swung for the fences this time around.
They had a digital recreation of the snipers on The Today Show. Three shots through a window at a bobbing target. Bravo, boys.
The ships are unarmed and lack private security because of arms/gun control. They can't go from port to port with just sidearms and scatter guns (enough to repel most boarders), much less .50s and 20mm cannon.
Imagine being the captain. one second, you are standing captive, in a room, with three bad guys, and an AK poking you in the ribs. A split second later, the room explodes into shards of glass, and you are alone with three headless corpses, and a Navy Seal team fastroping onto the roof.
ed,
I don't even know what that means.
A computer monitor is a light bulb and it is shining in your face, older CRTs were worse that LCDs, but still it is a lightbulb shining in your face.
There is a difference between printing on something, like paper, that is just reflecting light and something that is generating light. The latter is harsher on many people's eyes.
[sarcastica]
Imagine being the captain. one second, you are standing captive, in a room, with three bad guys, and an AK poking you in the ribs. A split second later, the room explodes into shards of glass, and you are alone with three headless corpses, and a Navy Seal team fastroping onto the roof.
Was any sea life harmed in this sea cowboy operation?
[/sarcastica]
SIV, I also understand that part of the problem is crewing is not really sufficient to repel boarders. These guys roll up in inflatable boats - cant see them on radar, and invisible at night. It would be a joke to put holes in them 200 yards offshore with a minigun, but once they get on the hull, you are basically screwed - so if you can't see them coming, and the crew is asleep, which they have to be at some point...
domo, you may be right about the 50-80k. I don't think you'd need to pay people too much, though, since you can armor the ship and provide body armor, which, along with guns that heavily outclass anything the pirates have, would greatly lessen the risks.
The price for escort that I listed may be somewhat high, but IIRC from my time in insurance, cargo insurance on one ship is around 20-50k per trip. Adding, say, another 30-50k to that isn't entirely unreasonable. And the fact that it's a heavily used sea lane means you could cover ships coming and going from the Arabian Sea / Indian Ocean. A weeks worth of sailing - even at 20k a pop could get you $80,000 to $100,000.
Remember, too, it's not just the ransoms. It's millions of dollars in cargo that's not where it should be when it should be there. Insurance companies often have to pay a portion of costs related to non-delivery.
Was any sea life harmed in this sea cowboy operation?
No, but the sea horses were ridden hard and put away wet.
so if you can't see them coming, and the crew is asleep, which they have to be at some point...
Of course, the answer is a federal jobs program for more sailors so some can always be awake.
BakedPenguin,
you make some excellent points - want to start a business?
domo - Infrared / 3rd gen night vision would clearly show people against the sea.
And if I had the money to invest, I would already be there...
domo,
Thank you!
So, BP, And the fact that it's a heavily used sea lane means you could cover ships coming and going from the Arabian Sea / Indian Ocean. Do they need Arabian sea horses over there? We may need to institute price controls to prevent obscene profits of the seaquestrians.
As the son and grandson of former merchant mariners, I can't deny that it made my day this morning when I heard about the captain being rescued and the pirates getting taken out. And I'll admit to smiling when the pirates initially got served a big NOT SO FAST! by a crew of unarmed seamen. [BraggingAboutGrandpa Charlie]My grandfather was a boatswain and was on 2 Victory ships in the Caribbean that were torpedoed on the same day by U-boats back in the 40's. He launched lifeboats by himself and saved about 8 or 9 guys from drowning. He received a Merchant Marine Distinguished Service Medal and I believe was credited with saving the lives of 15 Navy sailors and merchant seamen over the course of WWII.[/BraggingAboutGrandpaCharlie]
Thing is, you only have a couple of minutes. It would probably only take them that long to traverse the effective range of your weapon - less if they use the ships own momentum against it. Subtract from that detection time, communication, and clearance. You would need one gunner fore and aft at a minimum, plus a spotter, probably 8 hour shifts, so a security detail is 9 people minimum. figure 3 days in the danger area...
Asleep? You people do realize that crews work in 8-hour shifts 24 hours a day, right? Do you think they cut the engines and drift at sunset?
domo - but if you have the money and need a contact person for the insurance companies / navigator, let me know...
HEB, it's the jumping events that are real troublesome...
You would need one gunner fore and aft at a minimum, plus a spotter
Or just Bill Brasky with a KFC spork.
You people do realize that crews work in 8-hour shifts 24 hours a day, right?
not according to my friend who graduated merchant marine. cargo ships often sail with crews of 5, and sail on auto pilot.
Are you guys forgetting that a crew of unarmed guys didn't do too bad a job of running these pirates off? And a Greek crew successfully ran pirates off a few weeks before with a fire hose. These ships aren't floating office buildings and these seamen aren't pencil-pushers. Some firearms training, hell, just make it legal for them to have small arms aboard the ship and you'll see a lot less of these incidents.
I'd agree with the minimum crew req's you were saying, and possibly adding a couple. But I think it would take more than a couple minutes between sighting and them getting onto a ship. If they're using the momentum of your ship, then they're coming at you, which probably means you have more eyes looking in that direction. Also, a smaller ship will be much more maneuverable than the huge cargo vessels.
I think it wouldn't take long before the pirates realized that large cargo ship + small escort ship = bad news. Namely, they have a choice of going after the cargo ship, and trying to get the ransom while the escort ship shoots at them, or going after the escort ship that heavily outguns them, (and potentially dying a quick death) to free up the cargo ship. They'd soon seek out unescorted cargo ships. That's when you expand your business.
Clearly a group of Greek sailors with a "fire hose" was too much homoeroticism for those poor pirates.
What happened to the whole world loving us under Obama? Now he has made enemies of every pirate in the world. We are as hated as the French!
This is Iraq at sea.
OPA!
BakedPenguin,
At least you'll have the perfect graduate degree for high-seas mayhem.
I actually dig SIV's point. If allowed, surely the crews would carry arms, and if they all had arms, rag-tag pirates would run into more trouble.
Don't get me wrong, more people would be killed, especially at first, on both sides. But just taking it seems really bad...
:::walks up to domoarrigato, shakes his hand, bows a little
Art,
Now you did it. With all of those seamen comments, now had to sweeten the pot with homoeroticism.
Everybody stand back as SugarFree soils the thread.
"Clearly a group of Greek sailors with a "fire hose" was too much homoeroticism for those poor pirates."
OK, it's only 9:42, but I can safely say that will be the funniest thing I hear all day...Well done Art One
Couldn't all of this be avoided by giving the poor folks of Somalia a phat bailout? If the U.S. just gave em a billion dollars, they wouldn't need to steal.
I heard this joke the other day in some movie, I cannot remember which:
"Did you hear about the Greek soldier who did not want to leave his buddy's behind?"
MNG,
I actually dig SIV's point. If allowed, surely the crews would carry arms, and if they all had arms, rag-tag pirates would run into more trouble.
Glad you finally got an open view of this sort of thing. Now for concealed carry in establishments that sell alcohol . . .
or let the pirates keep a shipload of malt liquor. We wouldn't hear from them for quite some time.
(i miss having joe around to condemn my very soul for such a racist comment)
:::shakes fist at brotherben:::
let the pirates keep a shipload of malt liquor.
Rum punch?
On the good ship SS Olde English 800.
In 1990, the gas station within walking distance to my friend Alex's house put OE800 on sale for 60 cents. I bought 12 40s. Getting 30 pounds of beer in glass back to his house was an adventure.
My apologies Art.
Dude, I'm not really offended. That's my tongue-in-cheek fist-shake whenever somebody makes a black joke. That was funny. Only way I'd've been offended was if it hadn't been.
Fair's fair, anyway. For all the gay jokes I make, I'm not really trying to offend any of the gay people that frequent this site.
From the Area 51 story, which either interests almost no one here, or this post will shortly be vaporized with the rest of them.
Today they'd shoot the family dog. Wusses.
Art, I know. I just wanted to appear to understand my mistake in case any of the many black friends I have see these comments.
My thinking about concealed carry laws is complicated. On the one hand, I own guns. I've felt the need to carry them concealed at times. I'm no threat to society.
On the other hand, I'm sure that letting everyone do that will lead to some more shootings (hey, I've been to 7-11 late at night recently and seen a part of humanity that I would like to see prevented from carrying firearms period).
many black friends I have
Total overkill - you only need to have one black friend to be certifiably non-racist.
"For all the gay jokes I make, I'm not really trying to offend any of the gay people that frequent this site."
Dude, SIV is not so easily offended. 😉
you only need to have one black friend to be certifiably non-racist.
Woo-hoo!
Mine wears a kilt all the time... do I get extra points?
Epi, wherever you are, this one's for you:
"I do like black people. It just took a white one to prove it to me." -- from "Let Freedom Ring"
Off-topic:
For those of you who missed Dollhouse Friday.
(Mildly NSFW... depending on where you work, of course.)
Dollhouse would be sooo much better if it were on HBO and nudity were allowed.
Just sayin'
Agreed.
SugarFree, someone really ought to post that link on feministing.
By the way, on the same semi-topic: HBO passed on Mad Men. Fuck you, HBO. No, Really. Fuck you.
brotherban,
But it might distract from the picture essay of the women who run it they have put up for their 5th Anniversary.
Hmm, after considering the evidence I agree Sugarfree. Damn you to hell HBO!
"Off-topic:
For those of you who missed Dollhouse Friday.
(Mildly NSFW... depending on where you work, of course.)"
Yes...YES...HOLY FUCK YES!!!!
Beyond this wonderful occurence, is the show any good?
Dollhouse would be sooo much better if it were on HBO and nudity were allowed.
That's exactly what I thought about According to Jim.
Of course I'm kidding. I can't allow the notion to cross the intertubes at any point that someone, somewhere wanted to see a naked Belushi.
SugarFree - I'd certainly be able to find all sources of public information about the pirates. I could pay off my student loans quick, too...
Also, when I was an undergrad (with an alcohol problem) oh so many years ago, ABC Liquor once had a sale on Texas Light beer - $5 a case. I bought 2 cases and was struggling to tote them the two blocks home when a cop car pulled up toward me (I was 19 at the time) . I had a second to think something like "oh,shit", and the cop leaned out the window.
"Hey you need any help with those?" followed by laughter, and they drove away. Good times.
Of course not, FrBunny. We all know you're interested in the blond, fat guy they put on there to make Belushi look good...
If the naked Belushi was in a scene with a naked Thorne-Smith and a naked mrs. Paisly, it would be well worth it.
Kyle,
It's getting better as what Whedon wanted to do becomes more clear, but it is doomed. Fox is being coy until the 12 episode run finishes, but it will be canceled.
Another cute outfit
On the subject of Mad Men...
How great would it be for a Golden-Age Superman movie starring Jon Hamm to get made? He could fight the Ultra-Humanite!
From the NPR link:
Regular people! Talking to me about their lives as if I give a shit! The nerve of these fucking bucolic retards, dirtying my NPR with their prosaic drivel!
...Timothy Burke is a fucking douche.
Jon Hamm is actually in the running to play Superman in the reboot of the franchise if they decide to ditch Brandon Routh. Read it on Newsarama.
From what I've seen of him I think he's too old but makeup and film magic could possibly change that.
And the second pic of Eliza is wonderful. Thanks.
in the reboot of the reboot of the franchise
FTFY.
"He could fight the Ultra-Humanite!"
Monkey version?
Jon Hamm is actually in the running to play Superman in the reboot of the franchise if they decide to ditch Brandon Routh.
Oh, no! You mean they might not keep The Adventures of Gay Superman franchise going?
"What did you find out among the stars, Clark?"
A bathhouse, appearently.
Yes! DC needs to get Ultra-Humanite on film.
And the Doom Patrol, if you ask me.
MNG | April 13, 2009, 10:42am | #
"He could fight the Ultra-Humanite!"
Monkey version?
RACISM RACISM!!!
Mounting guns on cargo and cruise ships and training crew in the use of sidearms would be cost prohibitive from the insurance and import/export paperwork alone. Same with armor-plating the ships; heavier ships = more fuel used = higher shipping costs.
BP's idea of freelance, armed escorts is more plausible.
Even cheaper: stepped up Navy patrols.
MNG,
Sure. People love apes. Until they bite their hands and face off.
Doom Patrol! They could use Monsieur Mallah & The Brain
Grant Morrison Doom Patrol only, though. Got to keep it real.
Yes, Morrison's Doom Patrol would fucking rule. And apparently, one of the serious contenders for the next Superman movie is a script that Morrison and Geoff Johns wrote together.
That make me giddy just thinking about it.
An overview of the Mallah/Brain team, including their glorious end.
"You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words."
Gorilla Grog, Mallah, the Monkey version of the Humanite. As the man said, everyone loves monkeys until they bite your face off.
And yes Art, Doom Patrol rock.
Did you like the Byrne run?
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aYhvgOfyTmYA&refer=home
It appears the Big O is going to pull another Bush move. The difference? It's Bush 1.0 that we are going to follow this time. Didn't we learn the first time? Nation building in Africa has been such a boom success for everyone why not jump right back into the fire.
I might as well go to bed now.
Mounting guns on cargo and cruise ships and training crew in the use of sidearms would be cost prohibitive from the insurance and import/export paperwork alone.
Not sure why. If the guns never leave the ship, they aren't subject to import/export duties in any event. You would think that they would actually save on insurance as a prophylactic measure, much like fire alarms in your house.
There is no need, at this point, to armor the ships. The pirates aren't mounting any artillery, after all.
And, of course, we should step up naval patrols, and revive the original law of the sea, that anyone caught in the act of piracy was subject to summary execution. Further, any land-based pirate facilities were subject to punitive raids, as they were either (a) engaged in acts of war or (b) not subject to any sovereign.
With a modicum of common sense and some cojones, this whole Somali pirate farce could be ended within a year.
I missed the Byrne run. If it was true to the spirit of the Morrison comics (or, written by Morrison), I'm sure it was awesome because John Byrne's one of my favorite artists. I've got to hunt these trade paperbacks down now.
There is no need, at this point, to armor the ships.
And in any event, the pirates aren't usually trying to poke holes in the hull... I agree, a few summary executions would go a long way. According to maritime law, there is absolutely nothing preventing a ship captain in int'l waters who captured pirates from doing exactly that.
Hey, Sugarfree, thanks for the Feminsting link. I now have 'batin' material for weeks. Those pictures of Dushku are hot.
Holy shit he nailed this one. I hate the over-dramatic and bone-jarring pronunciations of spanish words by NPR's white people who sound whiter than I do.
As someone who grew up in a household with foreigners for family members, this isn't fucking necessary, NPR, so stop it right now.
These dumbasses think they're being all "correct" when they pronounce the name of some South American City all 100% correct and shit (yeah, I grew up learning spanish, speak a fair amount and lived in a predominantly hispanic area but I don't pronounce Manila "Maneela") but yet they mysteriously don't pronounce Prague, Moscow, or Paris the way the natives of said cities do.
God I want to strangle puppies everytime NPR's commentators do this.
With a modicum of common sense and some cojones, this whole Somali pirate farce could be ended within a year.
I argue this "Pirate menace" would be over in three months.
Jeebus... "Look! Four guys carrying pop guns and an antiquated RPG prone to going ballistic on 33% of every shot fired are bobbing around 100 yards from our 17,000 tonne ship... LOCK YOURSELVES IN THE SAFE ROOM AND CALL THE NAVY*!!!"
* 350 nautical miles away.
I added this comment to the WFMU blog:
As for the DP, there's nothing wrong with an Arnold Drake/Bruno Premiani take on their characters.
Kevin
Hip-hop: Thanks to NPR, I now know that there is a difference between hip-hop and rap. I still don't know what difference, so I use the two terms at random, hoping to sound more sophisticated.
Don't worry about it. Use rap when you're not sure and you'll be safe.
Discussing the difference between rap and hip-hop is like getting into those painful jr. high discussions about who and what is really punk.
Another safe bet: The kids 'rapping' in ciphers on the streets in Brooklyn are hip-hip. The white kid rapping over a heavy-metal track is not hip hop, he's just rapping.
In the end, it's not that important-- except for the die-hards which want to keep hip-hop pure. And we all know the value of cultural purity.
I argue this "Pirate menace" would be over in three months.
Wow, that's a bold prediction. They've been out of it by the All Star Game every year since 1992.
Okay domo, that's a hell of an anecdote. Find me an unlimited tonnage merchant vessel where there isn't at least one man on watch at any given time when under way. Jesus, when I worked for a dredging company they had a day crew and a night crew, and there's a lot less maintenance required to run a cutterhead dredge than a 1000' container ship.
Wow, a lot of people came into my blog just to look at pictures of Dushku... 😛
May I recommend some more of her, in this week's dominatrix outfit?
All this talk about pirates makes me wonder...
What the hell is Kit Walker up to these days?
Kevin
The only thing scarier than right-wing extremists are NPR listeners.