From the Twitter feed of Brit-based alan robbo? comes quite possibly the single-greatest statement about bacon since Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson placed his unforgettable diner order:
@beardosaurus81
It's an appropriate response to the big hoo-ha over just how much your chances for cancer increase from eating cured meats. As Ronald Bailey counsels, "Should you swear off bacon, hot dogs, sausage and ham? Only if you are worried about raising your lifetime risk of getting colorectal cancer from 5 percent to 6 percent."
Back in 2008, Reason TV and Drew Carey reported on "The Battle of the Bacon Dogs" and introduced one of the greatest supervillains we've yet to discover: an implacable Los Angeles bureaucrat who calmly elucidates and defends just why it's so goddamned important that the city step between willings sellers and willing customers. Check it out:
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Noted in the AM linx; CA nannies are hoping to get meat listed under the Prop 65 'warning label' requirement, so everybody can ignore it in the butcher shop like they ignore it at the gas pumps now.
I had heard about the prop 65 labeling requirement, but didn't actually notice its stupidity in action until I stayed at a hotel. On the doorjam of my room was a plate warning me that items in the hotel room were known by the state of CA to contain chemicals that cause cancer.
Anti-meat zealots: Bacon causes cancer!
Me: Bacon is delicious.
Anti-meat zealots: But, you can die!
Me: Everybody dies.
Anti-meat zealots: Well... You shall not have bacon, then!
Me: Ah, I knew this wasn't about caring for people.
While the Delmonico steak is probably my favorite form of meat, I think bacon gives you the most bang for your taste dollar. That's your Fist of Etiquette Tip for the Day.
It seems to lack some of the redneck-meat-shack-charm that should seem to go along with that menu option
I also find the marketing claim of "fresh"-hamburger to be misleading, unless of course I hear the terrified mooing of cattle being ground-alive while I peruse the menu
Smith & Wollensky's is just as good and you don't need to slog all the way to Brooklyn for a decent steak. You can do it like civilized people do - on Lexington and 53rd.
Normally I make it a matter of principle not to agree with mtrueman, because he's a jackass, but while I completely respect people who kill animals with their own bare hands before eating them, I find factory farming atrocious.
People who kill animals themselves understand what that means, and tend to minimize the suffering of the animals as much as possible, because they respect the animals. Treating animals like food crops is monstrous.
Caveat: I still would in no way have the government step in and take a role. People's moral choices are their own, and have to be voluntary.
Free the bacon.
Is this one of those threads that is going to get disappeared?
Maybe. Things disappear all the time. Televisions, cars, banks, people, buildings. It just happens.
Why? You got somethin' that needs disappearin'?
It went away and then came back. And my comment was still here.
Truly I have been blessed by The Jacket.
Are you of the Jacket, friend?
For the leather is supple and I have touched the zipper...
You speak in strange whispers.
Hey, what you do in your private life is up to you.
Yep, so you may as well get your shameful confessions out now.
I am an open book. Bound in foreskin and inked in blood.
Post more Warty Hugeman. Doomcock of Doom was an epiphany.
Have you been to the website, brother? All your Hugeman needs can be fulfilled there...
Indeed! But the so-called "Endless" Asshole was not as advertised.
"This is the most blatant case of false advertising since my suit against the movie The Neverending Story."
Foreskin...or ballsack?
"Please, gentlemen, we must put an end to the bloodshed. We have all seen too many body bags and ball sacks."
I cannot condone bouncing of the seventh variety.
Enough of this crap! I'm catching the next pimpmobile outta here! But before I go, I have one thing to say. Bite my shiny metal--
+1 fresh as a Summer ham
it was a trap!
HA!
Another one of these where Nick fails and the commentariat steps in to pickup the slack to drive the thread to 400+ posts. Well, not this time, Nick.
A good way to suck the air out of a room in progville is to extrapolate the effectiveness of abstinence-only sex ed to abstinence-only gun ed.
NICK GILLESPIE! You are NOT of the body! You have no right to use our memes!
You had me at "hoo-ha".
Noted in the AM linx; CA nannies are hoping to get meat listed under the Prop 65 'warning label' requirement, so everybody can ignore it in the butcher shop like they ignore it at the gas pumps now.
The Boy Who Cried Prop 65
I had heard about the prop 65 labeling requirement, but didn't actually notice its stupidity in action until I stayed at a hotel. On the doorjam of my room was a plate warning me that items in the hotel room were known by the state of CA to contain chemicals that cause cancer.
And I'm sure you took proper precautions, right? I mean, who wants to catch cancer from some glass in a hotel?
I'm staying out of California as a precaution. Unless my wife wants to vacation there.
Anti-meat zealots: Bacon causes cancer!
Me: Bacon is delicious.
Anti-meat zealots: But, you can die!
Me: Everybody dies.
Anti-meat zealots: Well... You shall not have bacon, then!
Me: Ah, I knew this wasn't about caring for people.
Feral hogs everywhere rejoice.
I hear that Elizabeth Nolan Brown wants Medicaid-funded bacon.
Not bacon-funded Medicaid?
I sure she's into all kind of perversions. Did you hear about her and Nikki? It was like a worst bomb went off over hipster Chicago.
How could anyone even tell? I hear that place is the worst, which is why Nicole lives there.
She was near a bar named after a poem. A POEM!
We shouldn't be talking about the worst, but about the wurst.
Only if the piglet is first aborted and then cured. She has high standards.
The British are horrible.
No, some twerk.
Finally, the hooha we were promised.
HM delivers.
I think those booty-shaking contests are rigged. That's why Hillary won two years in a row.
/joke
...or is it?
That's a relief, I thought you'd found the Hillary/Merkel makeout video.
While the Delmonico steak is probably my favorite form of meat, I think bacon gives you the most bang for your taste dollar. That's your Fist of Etiquette Tip for the Day.
Mmmmmmmm .... colorectal lunch meat......
More proof that Peter Lugar's steakhouse is the greatest place on God's Green Earth for people who like things done correctly =
When you order your steak, the proper thing to do is also add "And all the Sides"
And one of those sides is Bacon. Of the kind that you will remember the rest of your life
That's right = Meat, with a side of Meat. And you can put Dutch butter on both of them and people will nod approvingly while you do so.
Also nice are the tomatoes and onions with the Lugars sauce. But the bacon is ahahhhhhgggggggggllllllllhhhhhhhhhhhsloobbbber
Have you ever been to Cookout? You can get a corndog as a side. Or two. Two corndogs on the side.
No.
It seems to lack some of the redneck-meat-shack-charm that should seem to go along with that menu option
I also find the marketing claim of "fresh"-hamburger to be misleading, unless of course I hear the terrified mooing of cattle being ground-alive while I peruse the menu
So you've been to the Ft. Worth stockyards.
I really really have to get to Lugars one day. I'm tired of hearing everyone brag how they cooled their meat sweats with very cold martinis.
Make sure to take a lot of cash. They don't take credit cards.
Yes. Also, don't make any mafia jokes when at the bar.
Smith & Wollensky's is just as good and you don't need to slog all the way to Brooklyn for a decent steak. You can do it like civilized people do - on Lexington and 53rd.
Ha-ha charade you are.
"Should you swear off bacon, hot dogs, sausage and ham? Only if you are worried about raising your lifetime risk"
Not only that. Swearing off pork will also put some distance between you and the suffering inflicted on pigs by the industry.
Based on the actions of those who have sworn off pork, that suffering is just transferred to one's fellow man.
"that suffering is just transferred to one's fellow man."
But not one's fellow pig.
Boredom is misery. If you really cared about inflicting misery you'd piss off, troll.
Animals are people too.
[pig-related joke deleted]
Normally I make it a matter of principle not to agree with mtrueman, because he's a jackass, but while I completely respect people who kill animals with their own bare hands before eating them, I find factory farming atrocious.
People who kill animals themselves understand what that means, and tend to minimize the suffering of the animals as much as possible, because they respect the animals. Treating animals like food crops is monstrous.
Caveat: I still would in no way have the government step in and take a role. People's moral choices are their own, and have to be voluntary.
"I find factory farming atrocious."
Who would want to eat a factory?
They are surprisingly high in minerals and anti-oxidants.
"I still would in no way have the government step in and take a role."
Too late. That ship sailed long ago, Pilgrim.
Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it or encourage more of it.
As long as you accept it. That's all that matters in the end.
From my cold dead greasy hands
Amen.
I can't believe you all are dismissing this. 5% to 6% is a 20% increase! Which is 400% of a 5% increase!
400%!!! Jesus, it's a miracle we aren't all dead right now.