Election 2014

"Maiden trick-or-treater gets blade in candy bar": Hoax Countdown Begins…Now!

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Via the Twitter feed of Ben Howe comes this report from Maiden, North Carolina:

MAIDEN, N.C.—It's a scenario parents fear.

Police in Maiden were alerted to a razor blade embedded in a small candy bar on Halloween night.

Vigilant parents who checked their child's candy noticed the blade inside the wrapper of a Twix mini candy bar. Someone passed out the candy to a small child while trick-or-treating.

No one was hurt but detectives say they take this matter very seriously.

The Maiden Police Department urges people to check candy before they eat it.

Detectives are conducting an investigation into this case.

Whole story here.

We'll keep an eye on how that investigation turns out, given the vanishingly small number of cases in which stories either are true or actually involve strangers.

Indeed, given all the overhyped fears about poisoned, tainted, pot-laced candy being dished out on Halloween like turnips at a Michelle Obama-approved school-lunch program, what remains amazing is just how rarely such incidents ever turn out to be real.

Here's something to really get worried about: Politicians scaring us with tales of Ebola-Infected Mexicans Who Are Secretly Working for ISIS.

NEXT: What a 40-Year-Old-Cover of People Magazine Says About Progress

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  1. This *could* be a real case of some psychopath looking for attention by re-enacting an urban legend. Not saying it happened or didn’t happen, just keeping possibilities open.

  2. I always thought the razor blades were supposed to be embedded in apples?

    The candy bars you’re supposed to dose with ex-lax.

    People have no idea what they’re doing anymore.

    1. The egg fights were the best. I remember turning to a friend one Halloween to ask him a question and then seeing an exploding egg blossom on his chest because we just got ambushed. We scattered and fired back. That night the one town cop (this was the next town over from me, my town had no cops) came out to yell at us and we melted into the woods, so he picked up an abandoned carton of eggs and began throwing them at us. As he did so, he wasn’t paying attention and hit his own cop car. Oh man that drove him nuts. That was fun shit.

  3. I know he was only briefly in the video, but is there any politician worse than Lindsey Graham? He’s so hawkish that it pretty much eclipses everything else he does or doesn’t do.

    If Lindsey Graham wins the nomination (unlikely) or even comes close then I think we can safely conclude the Republicans aren’t very serious about changing.

    1. …is there any politician worse than Lindsey Graham?

      No!

      Lindsey Graham is the shining beacon of authoritarian statism within the Republican party. He outshines even Santorum. He is a disgusting pig.

      1. Worse than Santorum? No. It’s a close call, that I’ll grant you.

      2. Well, there is always Peter King…

    2. When evaluating politicians, the most important factor in indicating their relative level of horrible-scumbaggery is “how much influence do they wield over the issue they pontificate about”

      in this sense = people like Graham and McCain reap all sorts of Tough-Guy cred with their AARP constituents without ever having the burden of actually having to implement policies and be held accountable for their results.

      i.e. the whole point of their shtick is calling other people ‘pussies’. They don’t actually have control over squadrons of bombers or their own private Spec Ops strike force, sadly.

      Their actual impact in reality is fairly marginal.

      Compare this to people like, say, Dianne Fienstein, who hold sway over the agencies that declare it necessary to shred the 4th amendment, and rubber-stamp away. Or scumbags like Barney Frank who did everything in his power to engineer the financial crisis, then deflect blame, using the opportunity to double-down and impose all sorts of costly new regulations to paper over the bleeding wreck he’d helped create.

      Clawless-hawks, by contrast, don’t actively burn America down around them in quite the same way.

  4. How a viral video on cat-calling backfired on feminists

    Salon’s Emily Gould went full circle, seeking to justify the behavior of the maligned cat-callers by submitting that they had been forced into it by the actions of white people writ large. “This kind of harassment,” Gould wrote, “can be a way marginalized groups talk back to the white gentrifiers taking over their neighborhoods.”

    In and of itself, this view strikes me as being grotesquely condescending ? the perverse cousin, perhaps, of precisely the sort of racial stereotyping that progressives believe they have been divinely called upon to destroy.

    To contend that the minorities depicted in the video are mere victims of circumstance and that they have been forced by their conditions into badgering innocent women on the street is to contend that those minorities lack agency, intelligence, sensitivity, and the capacity to reason ? that they are child-like figures who act on their base instincts and who need excusing and explaining by their betters.

    Oddly enough, it is also to contend that the victim was either a “white gentrifier” herself, or a proxy for white gentrifiers, and that she therefore deserved the treatment she received. This presumption, it should go without saying, is typically anathema to the arbiters of feminist thought.

    1. “This kind of harassment,” Gould wrote, “can be a way marginalized groups talk back to the white gentrifiers taking over their neighborhoods.”

      Hahahaha. You knew that excuse would be trotted out, but it’s still hilarious to see it.

      “I blame society. Society made me what I am.”

    2. They really didn’t make that argument did they? Good god.

    3. Bafflingly stupid argument even for the progressive crowd at Salon. Normal people watch the video and either:
      1. Don’t really care (honestly, me)
      2. Or feel bad for the harassment she experiences.

      A serious lefty sees it as a reaction to racism because most of those behaving that way are minorities. It can’t possibly be the minorities in question are just ignorant douchebags with little respect for females…no, no…it has to be the fault of white people.

    4. Watching SJWs think is an interesting experience. There’s a complex hierarchy that is always going on in their head: who is the biggest victim? Because being a victim is the highest honor one can hold to them. It’s appallingly perverse and totally debilitating. So they have to determine, in their insanely fucked up way, who gets the most victim cred. Whoever it is, those people “win”, and everyone else is an exploiter or victimizer, even if they previously were considered by the SJW to be the most victimized. The SJW will throw anyone by the wayside and attack them the instant they aren’t the most victimized people in the their internal calculation.

      It’s really quite disgusting. They care about nothing other than finding the most victimized (by their internal calculation, nothing more) and everyone else is an exploiter. And this can change at a whim.

      Of course, this mercurial behavior bites them on the ass as they end up with different calculations about who is the biggest victim, as we see here. Thank Jeebus they fight among themselves.

      1. Single Jewish Women?

        1. I had the same reaction when i heard it.

          http://www.rooshv.com/what-is-…..arrior-sjw

  5. Vigilant parents who checked their child’s candy noticed the blade inside the wrapper of a Twix mini candy bar.

    A very odd and kind of lazy approach if one intended to harm a kid. Not that a blade like that would fit inside a crunchy-centered, narrow Twix bar if you tried.

    If this isn’t an outright hoax, I’m guessing that’s the tip of a snap-off bladed utility knife that ended up where it did by accident when someone at the store was opening the shipping box.

    Or perhaps it was the work of box cutter-wielding Islamist terrorists?

    1. Hadn’t thought of that, but you’re likely correct.

  6. “You’re a white suburban punk. Just like me.”

    1. “But it still… hurts.”

  7. You should have stuck to eating sushi and skipping out on the tab.

  8. I wish someone would give me razor blades. They’re expensive.

  9. my friend’s sister makes $78 every hour on the computer . She has been out of a job for seven months but last month her check was $15106 just working on the computer for a few hours. pop over here …

    ???? http://www.cashbuzz40.com

    1. Some questions:

      Was there a blade in the envelope with the check? Was it pot-laced?

      If your friend’s sister is underage, is she someone I’ve known carnally in the past?

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