New York

Newt Weeps; Samoa Leaps; Hollywood Burns, and More: P.M. Links


Newt Gingrich had a close relationship with his mother. Who would have guessed?

Newt's best friend was his mother: Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich drops tears as fast as the Arabian trees their medicinable gum while discussing his late mother to an audience of girls womyn in Des Moines, Iowa. "I think it was honest," audience member Toni Shivers tells the Des Moines Register. "It didn't seem phony or part of an act at all." 

More fallout from Samoan calendar change: Tiny Pacific nation moves to the far side of the International Date Line, raising disturbing questions: Is it good for the Jews? Does the trading-driven decision mean those sneaky Samoans are plotting to take American jobs to China and Australiastan and New Zealandia? Why isn't President Obama doing something to prevent this? Isn't Samoa on a commemorative quarter or something? 

Burn, Hollywood, burn: L.A. Fire Department says arsonist set 19 fires between Vine Street and West Hollywood overnight. 

Froggy, get a-courtin': Katy Perry is back in the secondary market.

Facebook traffic is up 30 percent since 2009. Nielsen now has the social networking site at 139 million visitors for October 2011, not far behind slow-growing Google, at 155 million. Yahoo is losing traffic. Most of Facebook's growth appears to have happened in 2010, not 2011. 

End of the world begins in two days, and all the NYPD can do is deploy more mounted cops

Happy New Year. 

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    1. Better choice, if somewhat obvious.

    2. This probably would have been more appropriate.

  1. What, no mention of RON PUAL in this post? What will we talk about???

  2. So Newt pulled the ol’ Hillary maneuver did he?

    1. I’ve suffered five family deaths in the asme number of years — does that mean I can go full pinko totalitarian and that’ll somehow make me a more acceptable candidate for a constitutional, natural law-based republic?

        1. I don’t think anyone was suggesting a head count, but I guess we can mark you off the list of the concerned.

  3. I got started early in the payday loans thread. Better here.

    Oragutans now have access to iPads with wifi. I think I found the source of H&R’s paultrolls.

    1. Oh, we already knew we had retarded apes trolling here. We’ve known for a long time.

      1. I thought our trolls were all bearded dragons and frogs with iPhones.

    2. That’s effed up. I don’t have an iPad. What ever happened to humans first?

    3. Just a bone to pick:

      The great apes are our closest ancestors, and everything we discover about their behavior increases our knowledge of how our own brains and physiology evolved.

      Contemporaneous species who evolved from the same source, not ancestor.

      1. The difference is that we’re part alien.

        1. Yeah, but I’m trying to seem clean cut during the primary season.

          ixnay on the onspiracycay heorytay!

          Wait, if that’s the case, trying to appeal to Mr and Mrs America, why am I embracing evolution?

          They ain’t MY ancestors. God made Adam out of clay!

          1. An Inauguration is worth generations of humanity down the road thinking you are a moron.

      2. Why don’t they give me gifts, and I’ll send them reports on my reactions? I’m a closer cousin to them than some Zaius wannabes.

      3. everything we discover about their behavior increases our knowledge of how our own brains and physiology evolved.

        So what have we learned about our brains from watching apes fling sh!t? Cause behavior is biology, right?

        1. You’ve never read the comments on Huffpo?

          1. Once I did…only once. And I used an anonymizer.

        2. So what have we learned about our brains from watching apes fling sh!t?

          What use to come out of our butts now comes out of our mouths?

          1. “What comes out of one end we feed to the other.”

            1. “Plus Indian food.”

            2. Simian Centipede?

    4. Born too soon! sigh

    5. It gets worse. The Age of the Ape is upon us.

      1. Um, Kanzi is breaking the first rule of dude cooking.

      2. That ape is a better cook than half the people on Jezebel.

      3. Holy fuck. The only thing scarier was the Chinese guy who taught the monkeys hand-to-hand fighting.

      1. Sorry, but unlike Honky Engine, that monkey could actually survive in nature.

        1. *slow, deliberate applause*

    1. Russell Brand files for divorce from Katy Perry

    2. You know, I heard her sing for the first time a couple of months ago. She can’t. Does she have any other skills or talents that I’m not aware of? Other than being well built and attractive, that is.

      1. I still remember the horror I felt when I flipped around the radio and heard her song about friday night. The Horror…the Horror.

        That said, she has an incredible body, and apparently videotapes the bizarre sexual favors she dispenses to record executives. That’s all you need to get ahead, really.

        1. I had been hearing her name everywhere and saw some skin commercial she did where I only saw her face, and I said “what the fuck is the big deal?”, and then I saw her bit for the Superbowl (was that what it was?), got a full body shot, and went “ok, I get it now”.

          1. I have a prediction. This breakup happened because Perry is a big Ron Paul fan, and Brand loves him some Obama.

            Her endorsement and willingness to sexually persuade the RNC to back off, saves America.

    3. Thanks for those.

      How hot is Katy Perry?

      Hot enough that you can smear Russell Brand all over her and she’s still hot.

      1. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

    4. She has nice ta tas but it’s not like there is a shortage of nice tits on the internet.

    5. Warty, bless you for linking Booty Wave.

  4. Stupid Tulsa. Now there’s no way I’ll win the huge prize in the Reason bowl pick’em thing…

    1. I can’t believe fucking Ohio and NC State screwed me. I’ll own the bad pick of Wyoming, and who knew Marshall was so much better than FIU?

      1. I also own up to the Wyoming pick. I guess I just had to pull for the team from a unicameral legislature state.

        I too was surprise that Tulsa shit the bed. I guess their coach is a ROMNIAC.

        1. Actually, it looks like if Rutgers and Wake Forest come through for me, I might be back in the hunt.

          1. I’m now trying to figure out why I took Iowa State. My bold strategy of picking Goliath in every game was working pretty well. So I decide to go with underdog Iowa State. Weak.

            1. Because they beat Oklahoma State… you must’ve figured they could get up again for another big game.

          2. Same here. I think I definitely need Wisconsin to come through as that’s my biggest WTF pick.

      2. I knew Marshall was better but basically every last drive loss has gone against me from the start. Fucking AF fumbling away a victory was the worst.


    Take THAT, dudes — Dan’s a fucking badass!

    1. I used to be an art dog on music videos back 1999-2004. I’ve had some similar experiences including gently holding and positioning Toni Braxton in a 500 gallon water tank (in bathing suits!). I also got to place rose petals on a very naked Pink, and then stood off camera, as I gently lilted more petals onto her. Don’t even ask me about Jennifer Lopez!

      1. No need to ask, I have ways to make you tell.

        Okay, I’m bluffing.

        Just answer this, is it still possible to receive nutrition from the sun with that ass nearby capturing all the light?

        1. She’s got a gang of ass. And some pretty large, but muscular thighs. I spent an afternoon taking off and replacing thigh-high boots on her. Only hitch, she doesn’t like to be touched. I think that’s why wardrobe made me do it. But I have to put this boot on her, and I am just manhandling her leg. Ah, good times!


    Van Zandt deputy fired after allegedly striking teen with flashlight

    A veteran Van Zandt County Sheriff’s deputy has been fired and faces serious charges for striking a 16-year-old in the head with a police flashlight.

    Van Zandt County Sheriff Pat Burnett said Michael Crumpler, a 6-year veteran of the department, was suspended after video of the September 21 incident captured on a patrol unit was reviewed.

    “We have always been a transparent sheriff’s office and we live in a transparent world, so if there is something like this that happens then we must deal with it swiftly,” he said.

    Burnett said his office immediately placed Crumpler on suspension and contacted Texas Ranger Michael Adcock to investigate the incident. He added it was Adcock who obtained an arrest warrant against Crumpler for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon by a public servant.

    Adcock said Tuesday he was called in to investigate the incident and was able to determine there was probable cause to obtain the warrant.

    Adcock said Crumpler and another deputy responded to a call earlier this month from the 16-year-old’s mother in reference to a disturbance with the teen.

    “The juvenile was complying with most of the directions by the officers, but did hesitate on a few. Overall though he was complying with the directions given to him when Crumpler and the other deputy went to take him into custody,” he said.

    1. Who are you kidding? I’ve been told by various representatives of law enforcement agencies that this kind of stuff just doesn’t happen.

      1. really? name one

    2. So can we replace all police with Texas Rangers?

      1. To answer your question from yesterday…

        Prepare for lethal levels of epic dumbshittery.

        1. Is it weird that I am the only one who ever talks about Deontologists in the entire continent of North America? But, hey, you guys are a minoritah!

    3. I’m pretty impressed. The partner reported him, the boss called in the proper state authorities. So we’ve identified at least two good cops.

      1. It’s either a fluke, or all of the good cops are in Texas. Because they sure as fuck aren’t in Florida.

        1. That’s a fact. Even more chilling is to contemplate that our corrections officers are the people who can’t qualify to be cops.

  7. $20 says that if the arsonist continues for a couple weeks, the media will suggest its some homophobe destroying a peaceful gay area. Another $20 says it will be an ELF eco-warrior setting cars ablze in protest of our carbon footprint.

    1. Or a Tea Bagsterz domestic terrorist.

  8. http://www.thetruthaboutguns.c…..ames-guns/

    U.S. Cop Fatalities Rise 13 Percent. DOJ Jefe Holder Blames Guns

    “‘One Oregon police chief was killed when a man allegedly took the officer’s gun and shot him in the head. A policeman in Arizona was fatally shot when he went to a suburban Phoenix apartment complex to help a probation officer. And two South Dakota officers were killed in a shootout after a traffic stop.’ Wait. Stop. What’s wrong with this lede from our friends at The Washington Times, chronicling a jump in law enforcement officers’ on-the-job fatality stats? Let’s have a look at the raw cop death data at the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund via the link that the Times and the mainstream media somehow forgot to provide . . .” …

    1. An additional 9 officers out of 800000 were killed with guns. We must do something now!

      1. Start by rounding up the rubes and repealing the Second Amendment!

        SIEG HEIL!

        1. Why not just arrest any known to have gone to a tractor pull in the last 24 months?

          1. Look, NutraSweet, I have studied the tractor pull disparity in this country–extensively–and I can confidently say that I’m pretty sure I make more money than you.

            1. SugarFree still has the better Modern Art Collection.

      2. Total non-story. How is an increase from 0.0074% to 0.0085% anything to bat an eye over? Standard disclaimer about each death being tragic aside, etc etc.

        1. Since it supports the statist position for gun control. See the NYT shall-issue scare-fest from last week. You know, the one where they decry the rise is carry permits, but use math which show that mayors against guns are statistically more likely to commit a crime with a gun than carry permit holders.

    2. I posted that earlier. Holder must be vying for some Hypocrite of the Year award.

    3. ‘One Oregon police chief was killed when a man allegedly took the officer’s gun and shot him in the head.

      A solid argument for disarming the police if I’ve ever read it. Man doesn’t need a gun if he’s going to let someone else shoot him with it.


    PA: Castle Doctrine Covers Bow & Arrow Death

    … “Lisa and Carl Woolley were still married when she began seeing Bittinger.”

    “The triangle reached its breaking point when Bittinger left a voicemail on his lover’s phone saying he was coming over to put a hole in her husband’s head.” …

    “After making the nearly hour-long drive to Woolley’s home with his two brothers, Bittinger stormed to the porch wielding a 32-inch club.”

    “That’s when Carl Woolley went inside to get his bow and arrow, shooting Bittinger in the chest. …”

    “‘From witness statements, yes, there were threats and he was intoxicated and basically out of control,’ Trooper Drzal said.”

    “Somerset County District Attorney Jerry Spangler announced … Tuesday he would not pursue criminal charges.” …

    1. This is straight from 1511. Holy crap. A club vs. a bow and arrow? Were both dudes on probation and not allowed to possess firearms?

      1. Could have been the Duke boys, I guess.

        1. I forgot they used bows when they needed to destroy inanimate objects from a distance.

          1. With dynamite!

    2. Central PA is a deeply strange place.

      1. A decent DA, at least!

        1. Dude, our castle doctrine is hands down one of the most liberal in the nation. It’s even better than what’s described in the article. You have no legal compulsion to back down from threats wherever you are legally allowed to be. This includes your car, work, walking down the street, etc, etc…

          Republican legislators actually got something right in the passage of our NRA written castle doctrine.

          1. WA’s is good because it ALSO places the burden on the state to DISPROVE self-defense (in most states the burden is on the defendant to establish the defense), and if self defense is confirmed by the jurors after a not guilty plea, the state must pay for lost wages, and attorney fees.

            those create powerful disincentives for the state. iow, if you prosecute people for self-defense cases, you lose BIGTIME

          2. FL is the same. No duty to retreat from a threat to your person before using lethal force.

        2. that case is a no brainer. i don’t even think they would have charged him in NY (one of the worst states for self-defense)

    3. This is all civilization’s fault. Before civilization noone ever died.

    4. Ha, just read the article and saw the whore wife’s lament to the dead redneck.

      Earlier this week, Lisa Woolley wrote on her Facebook page: “Merry Christmas Tony i miss u so bad. I just wish heaven had a phone so I could hear ur voice again ?”

      ” ?. no1 wanted us 2gether but we fought 4 our love and it made our love stronger i promise u ill love u eternity u will never be 4gotten Tony.”


      1. I knew after I read that the dead guy called an hour ahead and came with a club that these people didn’t meet at a Mensa social.

      2. Were they juggalos by any chance?

      3. So, this Tony guy was married to O2?

        1. No no no.

          Tony was the boyfriend.

          Christopher Walken was the bow-wielding husband.


          Ohio ‘pfc Dipshit’ Orrin was the cheatin’ wife.


    STRIP Act targets TSA uniform: End ‘impersonation’ of ‘real cops’

    “The STRIP Act is not some adult show.”

    “It’s a new House bill that stands for Stop TSA’s Reach In Policy and would prevent Transportation Security Administration officers from wearing law enforcement uniforms and police-like badges and calling themselves officers unless they receive law enforcement training.” …


    No more “I’m a mother-fucking badass in this mother-fucking transportation facility, mother-fucker” TSA persona? Apeshit awesome!

  11. NYPD should mount some frickin’ laser beams on those horses.

    1. You mean turbolaser batteries?

  12.…..uspicion-a crime

    Does Concealed Gun Give Cops Right to Search You?

    “A recent decision of the District of New Mexico, United States v. Rodriguez, 2011 WL 6739498 (D.N.M. Dec. 8, 2011) (Browning, J.) , addresses an issue of Fourth Amendment law that touches on Second Amendment concerns: In a concealed carry state, does police observation that a person is in possession of a concealed weapon create ‘reasonable suspicion’ justifying a stop and frisk for a potential violation of the state’s concealed carry law? The court concludes that it does, although that conclusion strikes me as incorrect.” …


    Retarded court is retarded

    1. the decision is a bit more nuanced than that. i suggest people go over to to read some actual informed commentary on this case.

      granted, for the record, i have seen several guns “printing” under people’s shirts.

      it does NOT give me reasonable suspicion to stop them

      heck, our court (in my state) correctly ruled that just because some candy-ass complainant calls about some guy walking down the street openly carrying a firearm in a holster, that does NOT justify a terry stop (obviously)

  13. unless they receive law enforcement training.” …

    “Repeat after me, class: ‘STOP RESISTING!’.”

    1. Instructor: “No, no, no, Jones! Only mothuh-fuckuhs shoot caw-shus-lee — what you do is empty yuh mah-gu-zeen into whut-ever peasant obstructs yuh path, a’ight?”

      1. “Remember, I am the only person in this room professional enough to handle this gun”.

  14. Tyranny of the Majority RULEZ!!

    Each term, the Supreme Court decides a handful of controversial cases by a bare majority. These decisions are all but impossible to reverse in the short term ? even as they bitterly divide the justices. Furthermore, the court imperfectly reflects the constitutional views of governing coalitions over time, as the justices often maintain their positions for as long as possible to ensure that a sympathetic president can appoint their successors. Roosevelt’s proposed remedy ? what might be called a “People’s Veto” ? could be tailored to address these widely recognized problems.

    For instance, such a veto could be reserved for 5 to 4 decisions of the Supreme Court on constitutional issues ? in other words, decisions in which the majority is often attempting to push constitutional doctrine in a new direction. A People’s Veto would permit the public to weigh in, perhaps following a national petition drive or congressional authorization.

    1. I vote we send RC to teach at Harvard for a while. Because I forsee that all decisions would be 6-3 immediately after this was implemented. Then some numbnuts would be talking about how unfair it is that just 2 people can decide this stuff for everybody.

      1. “? Police must obtain a search warrant to access reading records from bookstores and online retailers. SB 602.”

        This had to be codified in law? WTF.

    2. A People’s Veto would permit the public to weigh in, perhaps following a national petition drive or congressional authorization.

      Fucking separation of powers! How do they work?

    3. We already have a people’s veto. It’s usually known as the “constitutional amendment process.”

      Just sayin’.

      Besides, right now I don’t trust the majority of people to vote for increasing freedom. Too many dumbfuckers just want another handout, or to control their neighbor.

    4. We already have a people’s veto. It’s usually known as the “constitutional amendment process.”

      Just sayin’.

      Besides, right now I don’t trust the majority of people to vote for increasing freedom. Too many dumbfuckers just want another handout, or to control their neighbor.

      1. Fucking squirrels.

  15. A boy’s best friend is his mother.

  16. Seriously PM links? Thats the best you can come up with before a weekend?

  17. sloopy, FYI, The Notebook is on Oxygen tonight. I’d start my penance now, if I were you.

  18. Nielsen now has the social networking site at 139 million visitors for October 2011, not far behind slow-growing Google, at 155 million.

    I can’t believe over a hundred million people let Nielsen connect one of their boxes up to their computer. It’s odd enough people let them put one on their television.

    1. So all these people are letting Nielsen see them view porn?

      1. That’s how they know what the coveted “male 13 to dead” demographic likes.

        1. People think I’m joking when I say that sex and porn will be the principal drivers of manned space exploration, once orbital access gets cheap enough. But I’m not.

          1. I knew some guys that were working on interactive TV and I told them they only would succeed when they worked out the porn angle. They did not appreciate my insight.

            I also told them that if they did succeed, they would probably cripple civilization. That part did get a chuckle from them.

  19. New York politicians realize Meredith Graves is a white woman


    1. As city councilman Peter Vallone Jr. said, “By prosecuting this woman and seeking 3 1/2 years of jail, we are shooting our own [gun-control] efforts in the foot and giving the rest of the country ammunition.” So to speak. The problem ? and Vallone sees it quite clearly ? is Graves makes the perfect HR 822 poster child?

      No fucking shit. New Year’s Eve, the million visitors to Times Square should celebrate 2012 by firing their handguns into the air.

    2. She broke the first rule of public personal safety. Never talk to a cop for any damn reason.

  20. In June, the Samoan government passed a law to move Samoa west of the international date line, which separates one calendar day from the next and runs roughly north-to-south through the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Under a government decree, all those scheduled to work on the nonexistent Friday will be given full pay for the missed day of labor.

    Samoa better watch out. That’s exactly how Ben moved the Lost island.

  21. Kelly Clarkson Gets Twitter Hate Over Racism, Homophobia…..74612.html

    1. Her latest album sales are up and she’s pick up a lot more fans than she lost because Ron Paul organizers are encouraging people to follower her on twitter and Facebook. I myself did so as a gesture.

      1. Honestly, I have no idea what she sounds like. I just think all the liberal comments are pricelessly stupid.

        1. Musically she’s okay, but I just sent her a supportive tweet.

          And yeah, Ron Paul seems to bring out the most astounding ignorance in liberals.

          1. Her sales of her latest album are up 200% in Amazon, according to several sources including the “Paul – Meh!” Daily Caller.

  22. Apparently Newt Gingrich is a beltway outsider, always eager to challenge the Republican establishment.

    After Newt Gingrich rose in the polls, criticism of the former House speaker began grabbing headlines. But Republican establishment attacks on Newt are not new. Newt’s political career has been devoted to mounting a conservative challenge to the establishment’s desire to play the Washington power game of go along to get along.

    If you repeat something enough, does it eventually come true?

    1. Are you sure that wasn’t a Dennis Miller satire sneakily placed into the WaPo opinion section?

      1. All I know is that I’m getting a little sick and fucking tired of DC insiders acting as if I’m a fucking retard who’ll just swallow whatever it is they feel they want to me to understand.

        Gingrich was the face of the Republican party throughout the Clinton years yet I’m supposed to believe that he is somehow anti-establishment?

        Fuck off, cock gobbler.

    2. Newt’s political career has been devoted to mounting a conservative challenge to the establishment’s desire to play the Washington power game of go along to get along.

      And that’s why he started his career as state chairman for Nelson Rockefeller in 1968.

  23. onetime I got stuck between the fridge and the counter and I ate my hair when I got hungry.

  24. Katy Perry Shoots Russel Brand Over Racist Costume…..2011_3.jpg

  25. Woman sues bar for not carding her and preventing drunken car crash that left her paralyzed…..lyzed.html

  26. Worst Cum Stains Ever…..thels.html

  27. In 1987 book Ron Paul said AIDS patients were “Victims of their own lifestyle”. Clearly a critique of promiscuity and socialized medicine, but then again people are stupid and malicious and this will probably spread across the web.…..1987-book/

    1. Re: A serious man,
      From one of the commenters:

      “I am a gay person who has donated up to 10k (and would give more if I could) over the years to AIDS research and support. I have also participated in about a thousands donation drive events. I have many friends with HIV now, have lost many more over the years. I know this disease personally and am committed to the fight against it on a personal level. What Dr.Paul says is true. During the 80s and 90s, the Gay community nationwide committed to an effort to reduce the impact of HIV/AIDS on our people. We began educational campaigns, service campaigns. we created a “safety first” culture in order to stem the tide of the pandemic. And the reason that we did this was because in order to make an impact in turning back this disease, we needed to change our behavior. Free condoms started appearing in bars and clubs.”

      It will reappear but Paul can easily point out to a change in attitude in the gay community regarding unsafe sex and promiscuity.

      1. More often Lord Vargo sends them to me. He likes me to examine them, before ? well, suffice it to say that once he loved unwisely, and he has no wish to do so again. But have no fear, Pia is quite healthy. As is your maid of Tarth.

        -Qyburn, A Storm of Swords

        Take a hint from Vargo Hoat: Check’em out before you get it in.

        1. Needs more lisp and dribble.

    2. Could somebody explain why AIDS is the one VD where we don’t snigger over the people who get it for being promiscuous and unsafe?

      1. Because it kills you and isn’t curable.

        Clap, crabs: doesn’t kill you, easily curable = very funny
        Syphilis: kills you eventually (?), easily curable = kind of funny
        Herpes: doesn’t kill you, treatable but not curable = reasonably funny
        AIDS: kills you, treatable but not curable = not funny
        super-AIDS: kills you quickly, incurable, mythical = super-funny

        It’s not that complicated.

        1. By the way, syphilis wasn’t funny, historically. Unless you burned off half your cock in a doomed attempt to cure it. And then became King of the Vagabonds. And then started to lose your mind. And then accidentally cured it with a seriously high fever. And then became seriously awesome. Then, and only then, was it just a little funny.

          1. Syphilis ain’t funny, yo. Especially when you catch it losing your virginity.

  28. This is like the worst chat room ever.

    1. Thank you, I was so ready for a drink.

      1. Smirnoff vodka martini, very dry, shaken with two olives. Happy New Year!

        1. Most of a bottle of Three Philosophers gone. Happy New Year!

    2. What’s matter, sugar? Let you play with my big, fat titties.

  29. In June, the Samoan government passed a law to move Samoa west of the international date line…

    That would be an herculean civil engineering project. JOBS!!!

    Or maybe it was international date line that was moved.

    1. It’s all the same.

      1. had sex with your cousin!

        1. It’s all the same.


    Roger is a cunt. He must be. I saw him associating with one once.

  31. Mo’ money from Banksters?

    Look at who gets more money to love the Fed.

  32. Gingrich is a piece of crap only a mother could love so that makes sense.

    1. I tried to drown the little toe head shortly after giving birth.

  33. Only 142 comments?
    Are the narcissists getting an early start on their weekend drunk?

  34. Any references to a cycle of movies with a half assed AI subtheme will be dealt with sublethal force:…..50818.html

  35. CNN Excludes Democrats and Independents From Iowa Caucus Poll

    Summary: CNN headlines driven by the decision to exxclude Democrats and Independents from poll.

    If “adjusted” for these voters, results are dramatically different:

    CNN poll:
    Romney 25%
    Paul 22%
    Santorum 16%
    Gingrich 14%

    “Adjusted” CNN poll:
    Paul 26%
    Romney 22%
    Santorum 14%
    Gingrich 14%

    “[…]therefore, it remains true that the CNN headlines were substantially misleading.”

    Ya think????

  36. And Newt wept.

  37. Is there a creepier politician than sniveling Newt? (Reid, Pelosi and Moldering Teddy come close.) Ah, well, if Ron Paul somehow wins the R nod, we know who Newt will vote for: Newt’s D bizarro mirror image, BHO. Gotta keep the War State healthy, the Muslims subdued, the billionaire Bankers fat and happy, the African oil secured and the Welfare State growing the ranks of the dependent class.

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