Tonight on The Independents: "If I Ruled the World." Then Switch to HBO to Watch Matt Welch on Real Time with Bill Maher

Your Friday theme episode of The Independents (Fox Business Network, 9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, repeats three hours later in each time zone) is on the intriguing theme of "If I Ruled the World." Meaning, not necessarily me (though we do get into some of my King Rudolf II/George Washington fantasies), but rather the creative imaginations of some of our more, ah, ambitious friends: Geraldo Rivera, Anthony Weiner, Tucker Carlson, Gavin McInnes, Monica Crowley, and Bobby Bones.

The discussion ranges from outlawing train-farts to containing Russia to minimizing state-delivered death. To get a sense of the eclectic nature of it all, here's a teaser piece the show did Wednesday with popular hip-hop DJ Charlamagne tha God:

Then after The Independents, switch over to HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, where I will join panelists Arianna Huffington and Baratunde Thurston in talking about such topics as the Benghazi select committee, the return of Monica Lewinsky, the latest global warming reports, the mass Nigerian girl-kidnapping, Islam, and more. Also appearing on the program will be conservative controversialist Dinesh D'Souza and progressive activist Sister Simone Campbell.

Comments

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Dogbert's plan:

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1998-06-22/

[Palin's Buttplug]

What kind of crazy shit has Dinesh D'Souza been spouting lately? Or did he do peak-crazy with that Kenyan anti-Colonial bullshit?

[GILMORE]

What are you babbling about now?

[Derpetologist]

I saw your boasting in the AM links. You proved fascism is far-right. Really?

Fascism is just a variant of socialism. Both have central-planning, cults of personality, secret police, etc. They are only different on paper and in the minds of leftists.

If fascism is really the polar opposite of socialism, don't you think it's interesting the Nazis never claimed to be fighting socialism?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Related tale of derp:

One of my favorite shows on TV right now is FX's 'The Americans' about two KGB spies living in early 80s America. This season focuses on American involvement with the Contras of Nicaragua and the KGB's efforts to sabotage it.

I comment on The A. V. Club reviews for each episode and routinely read a bunch of comments condemning Reagan for supporting fascism. They don't react too kindly when I point out the show's protagonists are agents of an evil and despotic totalitarian regime that, at the time, was brutally attempting to subjugate Afghanistan and are thus in no way morally superior.

This isn't to the suggest the show is pro-Soviet (it's pretty good at making you see how awful they are), only that fascism is reflexively thought of as being worse than communism by those on the left despite the disparity in numbers of people killed.

[Episiarch]

It's an entertaining show but the wetwork being done by two sleeper agents with kids is really stretching my suspension of disbelief at this point. I like the show but the shit they're doing is getting more and more implausible. I thought, when I started watching the show, that they would kind of have it be "look at the normal life stuff some Soviet sleeper agents have to do and then occasionally do spy stuff", and instead it's action and danger and crisis and just barely not being uncovered every episode. It's exciting to watch but it's really ridiculous.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

It certainly doesn't aspire to 'Mad Men'-levels of attention to detail and period accuracy either, but that's not why I watch anyway. It's just some great acting and storytelling. Plus they showed us Nina naked.

But as for normal stuff, I love how they made the daughter find Jesus and that's her way of rebelling against her godless commie parents.

[Episiarch]

I think they wanted to make spy thriller, but spy thrillers after the USSR broke apart aren't the same. So they made it during the height of the Cold War detente. But I think it would have been better focusing more on the normal stuff and being really period accurate. I've seen a zillion Cold War spy thrillers.

They killed off the really hot Nicaraguan chick, which pissed me off, though her character had it coming for being so blockheaded.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Not that I could appreciate it, but the show doesn't really seem that interested in evoking 80s nostalgia beyond an occasional song choice and obvious pop culture reference (like Stan's wife listening to Dr. Ruth on the radio). Which is fine since as you say they just want to be a good spy thriller, which it is.

They killed off the really hot Nicaraguan chick, which pissed me off, though her character had it coming for being so blockheaded.

I thought she was too blockheaded to be trusted for that kind of work. I'm actually rooting for the Navy SEAL at this point since the KBG blackmailing him over his homosexuality was pretty low and his Archer-like rampage is satisfying to watch.

[Episiarch]

Well, I can appreciate it (their son is about where I would have been in age at that time), and I will give them credit for being pretty historically accurate. There are flaws here and there--as you say, they're not going apeshit with the verisimilitude--but they do a good job overall. The clothes, the cars, the music, the political figures, the feel of the cold war; all done well.

Larek is an asshole too, and the KGB loved to blackmail over homosexuality. As did the CIA, and MI6, and every other intelligence agency ever. They really did set up honeypots and other stuff specifically to get people into situations which they could then blackmail them with. It's classic intelligence work.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Larek is an asshole too, and the KGB loved to blackmail over homosexuality. As did the CIA, and MI6, and every other intelligence agency ever.

Well everyone on that show except the two kids do pretty horrible things. But I can't think of anything worse this season than Philip murdering that poor Afghan busboy and the computer programmer just for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. That was brutal.

[Episiarch]

Yeah, and don't forget the truck driver they left tied up rather than kill and then he dies of exposure anyway.

It's getting to Philip, as it should. Yet Elizabeth remains a fanatic. I think one of the most interesting subplots on the show is Philip's enjoyment and gathering acceptance of capitalism and prosperity and choice while Elizabeth remains firmly ideological, and how that's causing a schism between them.

[Corning]

Yet Elizabeth remains a fanatic.

I liked his line to her in the first season:

"America does not raise socialists."

totally untrue but i liked the sentiment...and it could have been a trueism in 1985.

[Corning]

the KGB loved to blackmail over homosexuality. As did the CIA, and MI6, and every other intelligence agency ever.

Like the DNC during the 64' election.

[Derpetologist]

I recommend this video if you want to know what the KGB really did in foreign countries:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3qkf3bajd4

[Derpetologist]

Yeah, I had a similar experience the other day. The guy said that socialism doesn't always lead to death camps, and that things like the national park system prove socialism works.

In other words, he thinks socialism means "anything the govt does."

[GILMORE]

Progs are constantly pointing to Scandinavia as an example that "Socialism works GREAT!"

I think stupidity of this scale must tie back to Paul Krugman in some way...

http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.c.....-blogging/

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Yes death camps, but national parks!

[Acosmist]

AV Club comment threads contain a specific kind of prog, one who's never been exposed to any views but his own except in a "point and laugh at the NASCAR fans!" kind of way. They're thus susceptible to some pretty detached-from-reality points of view.

I mean, where else would you get a frothing hatred of Reagan?! Easy - the commenters' professors were politically active at a time when Reagan was claimed by the Left to be an insane warmonger who was going to bring nuclear holocaust to everyone, and, even worse, a racist! Despite the commenters' not having been old enough to be politically aware, or even alive, during the Reagan years, they inherited this distorted view from the echo chamber of academia, and, as their profs seemed smart, and the commenters wanted to seem smart too, they regurgitated this silly ivory tower leftism.

Even PB and Tony aren't as weapons-grade stupid as AV Club commenters.

[Calidissident]

"This isn't to the suggest the show is pro-Soviet (it's pretty good at making you see how awful they are), only that fascism is reflexively thought of as being worse than communism by those on the left despite the disparity in numbers of people killed."

I see and agree with your point, but I'm hesitant to go to the Genocide (or Democide) Olympics bodycount route. There were more communist regimes in the 20th century than fascist, and they included two of the three most populous countries in the world. Had the fascist states won WWII, their body count would have been a lot higher. Both ideologies are horrible. Empirically, they had differing strains that were differing levels of awful. Italian fascism was certainly terrible, but it wasn't as bad as Nazism. Likewise, the communism of say Cuba or the post-Stalin USSR, while still awful, was not as bad as the communism of Stalin, Mao, or Pol Pot. And comparing the two, some forms of communism were worse than some forms of fascism, and vice versa.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

That's a fair point about the body count. Although I think it depends on how you define fascism and if you differentiate it from anti-communist, right-wing authoritarianism.

Franco, South Korea's Park Chung-Hee, and Pinochet, among many others, were all fascists in that sense.

[Calidissident]

Yeah, compared to other ideologies, fascism has a pretty muddy definition. Everyone agrees that Hitler and Mussolini were fascist, and almost all view pre-WWII Imperial Japan as fascist, but there's a lot of controversy after that. The only one of those three that I've seen occasionally described as fascist is Franco.

[hotsy totsy]

I think Pinochet's fascist credentials are pretty iffy. He was an anti communist authoritarian right wing military caudillo, but never had the personality cult of Franco or Hugo Chavez, nor did he ever identify his persona as the embodiment of the soul of "the people". And he willingly stepped down from the presidency.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

They are only different on paper and in the minds of leftists.

It's all at the bottom of the chart.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Why do they have Hitler as fascist? Wasn't he technically something else? Like Nazi Socialist?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Like I said..it's all on the opposite end of freedom.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

When a jackboot is on your neck whether it is the left foot or the right foot is of no consequence.

[Wasteland Wanderer]

Fascism is Socialism Lite?, now with real Nationalistic flavor!

So yea, National Socialism = Fascism.

[Calidissident]

Hitler certainly claimed to be fighting Bolshevism many times. Fascism is not the polar opposite of socialism - there are some key differences in ideology, and to some extent in implementation as well, but the end result in authoritarianism and/or totalitarianism.

[Acosmist]

Fascism was socialist, explicitly, and not just in names like "Nazi" - the ideologues were outspoken fans of Marx. Fascism is a nationalist variety of socialism, not that different from what the Soviets became when Stalin took over and international socialism was abandoned as a goal.

[Calidissident]

When I said "socialism" I meant it in the Marxian sense. Mussolini was initially a socialist and fan of many of Marx's ideas, not all of which he eventually rejected (his politics certainly evolved over the years, which is undeniable. He led an anti-imperialism rally against Italy's war in Libya in 1911 and later promised to bring back the Roman Empire) - however, in addition to his nationalistic beliefs, he eventually rejected Marxian socialism because he disagreed with egalitarianism. Nationalism, anti-egalitarianism, and the lack of centrality of class conflict in fascist theory are the key points differentiating it from Marxian socialism. That doesn't mean they share nothing in common, but those aren't minor differences in political theory or ideology.

In Mein Kampf, Hitler pretty explicitly laid out his belief that Marxism was a very grave threat to Germany, and the Nazis saw themselves as offering a Third Way between Marxism and capitalism.

[Sevo]

..."there are some key differences in ideology,"...

Most all claimed rather than real. Pipes and Figes on the Russian revolution and Tooze on the Nazis make that very clear.
Mostly, one was "national" (meaning everybody else got screwed a bit worse if they weren't 'nationals'), whereas the Bolshies were gonna screw *everybody* since it was "international".

[Calidissident]

As I said, in the end both resulted in totalitarianism and authoritarianism, implemented in different fashions, but that's true within each group as well. Ideologically speaking, there were some differences, which I detailed above in my reply to Acosmist. Again, this resulted in differences of implementation (e.g. total collectivization in communist countries vs. a complex combination of indirect government control, direct ownership, subsidy, etc. in fascist countries)

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'll take Kennedy for the block.

[GILMORE]

Why does my Boko Haram Mashup get no love?

[Jesus H. Christ]

I've clicked on worse links from this site.

[GILMORE]

Thanks for making me feel like a dirty whore.

[jesse.in.mb]

Thanks for making me feel like a dirty whore.

We all know that's how you like it.

[Episiarch]

"Jackpot! I knew there was something special about you and I'm not just saying that 'cause you're a whore, but...you are a total whore."

[Acosmist]

+1 fryman

[GILMORE]

I see what you did there 'not linking' to Carlos Danger's twitter

[Almanian!]

Is this that show where the girl talks nonstop and the one guy dresses like Buddy Holly run through a Kohl's and the other dude's a foaming-at-the-mouth self-loathing minority?

That's this show, right?

S'up?

[BiMonSciFiCon]

No, it's the show they put on so people can read Gilmore's attire reviews. Matt is masochistic like that.

[Lady Bertrum]

I say this with love. Stop with the Gavin McInnes already. More Andy Levy, less Gavin McInnes.

[kibby]

Yes, this. Gavin's such a creep.

[Lady Bertrum]

And not funny.

[GILMORE]

AND Canadian!

[Carl ?s his privilege]

On Red Eye he does come off as creepy, but he does seem fairly funny -- at least when he's not playing one of his stupid characters.

I haven't watched much The Independents, and none with him on it, though.

[robc]

I wouldnt rule any world that would allow me to rule it.

[Fr?ulein Nikki]

GILMORE, I am stopping by to say that your shit is john blaze.

[GILMORE]

I did it for you.

there were motorcycles in the lower corners, but the flames and text washed them out. The feng shuei of Cash Money Millionaires album covers is difficult to master.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If anyone ever gets a wild hair up their ass and thinks they want a log home...talk to me first.

[Suthenboy]

Oh? Why is that?

I was planning on building one.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Constant fucking maintenance. Not only do you need to re-stain/topcoat every few years, the chinking cracks, wind blows rain into the cracks and it leaks. As the rain may run along the logs, it's never readily apparent where the crack is. Sometimes it can even leak through the knots, requiring you to fill them with chinking.

We just had a storm blow up and I have water running down my kitchen cabinets.

Looks good. Too much work. NEVER AGAIN!

[Sevo]

Francisco d'Anconia|5.9.14 @ 8:31PM|#
"Constant fucking maintenance."...

Frank, I am AMAZED!
For pete's sake, there's a reason we don't ride to the store behind horses anymore.
Hints: Concrete. Sawn lumber. Vapor barrier. Asphalt shingles. Central heating. Copper plumbing. 1950, at least.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You sound like my wife. 😉

[Wasteland Wanderer]

chinking cracks

LACIST!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If you decide to do it, I strongly recommend Swedish Cope and full length runs.

[Suthenboy]

Thank you, that is good to know.

I was going to do it myself, but for a camp, not a residence.

[Jesus H. Christ]

I've dreamed of living in a timber frame home for many years. I think they can be supremely beautiful. Log homes always look like a lot of hassle.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I love how it looks, the atmosphere...just not worth the trade-off.

[Carl ?s his privilege]

My parents have one, although they've only owned it for 5 or 6 years.

They haven't had any water issues, but it's worthless for keeping insects out. Over the course of a year, they will remove hundreds of wasps and thousands of ladybugs.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Bad experience?

[Episiarch]

My uncle had one for a while...never again. I forget what his complaints were, though (this was many years ago).

[Alton Knutson]

Did you not read The Three Little Pigs?

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

What the Penguins????

[Juice]

You know why you're invited on Bill Maher's show, right, Matt Welch? It's because you're a weak debater and you make Maher look good. Have fun.

[GILMORE]

That's mean. Everyone knows Matt Welch is a master debater.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Whatever you do Matt, slap Maher off the side of the head for me and say, 'that's for Rufus from Canada'.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

You know who else liked their uniforms to be washed and cleaned?

Procter & Gamble has apologized for "any false connotations" after stirring anger in Germany for unintentionally placing a neo-Nazi code on promotional packages for its Ariel laundry detergent.

Outraged shoppers had posted pictures online of Ariel powder boxes featuring a white soccer jersey with a large number "88." The number is sensitive because far-right extremists in Germany often use it as a code to skirt a ban on the use of Nazi slogans in public: since "H'' is the eighth letter of the alphabet, "88" represents the phrase "Heil Hitler." Similarly, "18" is used to stand for "A.H." or Adolf Hitler.

Procter & Gamble acknowledged Friday that the number was "unintentionally ambiguous."

"We very much regret if there are any false associations and distance ourselves clearly from any far-right ideology," company spokeswoman Gabi Hassig said in a statement. The number "88" was intended to show how many loads of laundry buyers would be able to do with one package.

Haessig said the company has stopped shipping the offending powder, as well as a liquid detergent that was being promoted as "Ariel 18." The number also represented the number of loads that could be done, the company said.

So is 198 'Sieg Heil'? How about 14,194,116? Is that bad too?

[GILMORE]

I was told there would be no math

[paranoid android]

Then I guess they dodged a bullet by not going with their original campaign idea: "We'll make your whites purer than the Aryan race!"

[GILMORE]

+1 Final Solution

[Sevo]

+666!

[Dances-with-Trolls]

Awesome. Assault numbers! Way to give these fuckwits power over you, Germany.

[SusanM]

The discussion ranges from outlawing train-farts to...

Train-farts?

[Dances-with-Trolls]

Well if you've ever lived in Europe you understand what a pressing public health issue this is.

[Derpetologist]

So here's some art I made today:

http://platedlizard.blogspot.c.....elius.html

[Paul.]

That's pretty good. And it got nothing.

[GILMORE]

If there are no Kurtis Blow references for the entire show I am going to be extra disappoint

Also = can we not ever have to see Anthony Weiner ever again? Ever? Please. At least the communist is like a pi?ata. Carlos Danger is a greasy evil little shit.

[Suthenboy]

I have referred to him as Carlos Danger so much for so long that I sorta forgot the name Anthony Wiener.

He will forever be Carlos Danger to me.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Ron Mexico approves!

[Derpetologist]

So yet another prog is feeding me the line that Islam is violent because it's younger. Because it couldn't possibly be the doctrine of jihad.

What strange form of nihilism. Nothing is better or worse than anything else, except for Team Red which is pure evil.

[Suthenboy]

"...the line that Islam is violent because it's younger."

It is violent because it is the product of a violent, uncivilized culture. That culture is as old as the world and will likely never change.

[Derpetologist]

The best explanation I read is that there are law cultures with dependable legal systems and honor cultures where you must take the law into your own hands. Honor cultures show up among nomads, prisoners, criminal gangs, and other groups where the protection of law is absent or unreliable. In honor cultures, the best strategy is to make people afraid of you by retaliating strongly against any insult or injury.

[GILMORE]

This is partly discussed in Clash of Civilizations.

Your description of 'honor cultures' though isn't quite in tune with what he said. He emphasized institutions (the types of them, and/or lack of certain kinds) as being the most essential features within modern versions of cultures. The Japanese are an 'honor culture' = however, highly institutionalized.

He points out that Christianity and Islam are the most similar in their fundamental makeup and insistence on pre-eminence; however in the west, Christianity has become subservient to "Secular Western Culture", which is more-significantly what is opposed by Radical Islam than 'Christianity proper'.

[GILMORE]

by that logic the Sikhs and Baha'i should be bloodthirsty killers bent on global conquest

I find 'the line' you say they fed you odd primarily because I'd expect the progs to insist that Islam is *inherently* a religion of peace; and that the real problem is Oil and Zionism and Capitalism or something.

[GILMORE]

Don't get me started on the Mormons...

... you even *look* at them funny...they go for your vitals...

[Derpetologist]

Mormons turned being nice into a weapon.

[Carl ?s his privilege]

Not too mention those notoriously violent Moonies.

[Carl ?s his privilege]

*not to mention

[Derpetologist]

It's not age, it's doctrine. Only Islam has the doctrine of jihad. Warfare against unbelievers is a key principle only in Islam.

[Suthenboy]

The guy who cooked that up was nothing more than a bandit, a highway robber and murderer. His doctrine was concocted for the same reason they always are, to control people and increase the size of his gang.

[Derpetologist]

Not to mention illiterate, schizophrenic, & hypocritical.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Yeah. Charlemagne. No.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Da, da, da.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZviYmTMpBXE

[Francisco d'Anconia]

INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Held up at the border.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAv4JAfFauc

[GILMORE]

This sounds nothing like Kurtis Blow's version

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

now with bacon!

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

less bacon, apparently.

[RishJoMo]

Slap that baby upside the head man.

http://www.YourAnon.tk

[GILMORE]

word to that

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

RIP MCA

[GILMORE]

I predict one of the Indys uses 'the Boko Haram' joke

they can, will, and do sink that low

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

I could see no maze to unwind
And though I hoped for something to find
I could see no maze to unwind

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yikes!

[Bam!]

A muumuu? Really?

[All-Seeing Monocle]

OK, Kennedy is obviously trolling the fuck out of Gilmore with that outfit.

[Bam!]

If I ruled the world, Kennedy would be stoned for wearing that.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

We gonna get a Tears For Fears reference?

[Derpetologist]

Gavin looks like a meth-head biker version of Waldo.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Why is Kennedy dressed up like Frida Kahlo?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Crowley. Grrrowley.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Pardon me for the interruption?

What happened to our Kennedy?

[kibby]

The idea for this show seemed a lot more entertaining than it's actually turning out to be.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

Respectfully disagree, this is exactly as entertaining as it seemed like it would be.

[kibby]

I foolishly hold The Independents to high standards still. I'll never learn!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Thomas Hobbes thought humans were monsters who needed Leviathan to keep them honest and in place.

The rest is history.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Bellum omnium contra omnes.

[Derpetologist]

I remember reading once that history can be summarized as a very long argument about who should be a master and who should be a slave.

[Derpetologist]

I remember reading once that history can be summarized as a very long argument about who should be a master and who should be a slave.

[Derpetologist]

I also remember only clicking once, you damn squirrels.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Does Kaddafi (yeah spelling) make a top 10 list of most evil people?

[Derpetologist]

I wouldn't even put him the top 100. He's the Paul Giamatti of evil.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Oh, I think we can fit him in. Paul Giamatti of evil. Funny.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Based on intent, or effect? I think there are more than ten others that have caused greater overall human misery.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Actual evil. Yeah, his death count is probably not as high as say, Amin or Hussein.

[Suthenboy]

If you are just measuring the blackness of his heart, there are probably a hundred people within five miles of nearly any spot on the planet that are as evil but don't have the brains or opportunity to do what Gaddaffi did.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Hmmm, let's see. In no particular order:

Stalin, Pol Pot, Mao, Hitler, Kim Il-sung, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Mobutu Sese Seko....I think there is room for Gaddaffi on that list.

[GILMORE]

No.

Worst Dressed? Sure.

[Tejicano]

Counting all the different spellings he might be two or three of the top ten

[GILMORE]

Was that thing in Afghanistan as staged as it looked?

[Bam!]

Is The Independents required to pull guests from the Fox News pool or can they just not get better guests?

[kibby]

Yes.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

You want some more DJ Charlamagne tha God maybe?

[Sevo]

"Is The Independents required to pull guests from the Fox News pool or can they just not get better guests?"

Somehow, I don't see it yet on the must-do list for aspiring candidates.

[GILMORE]

It is decidedly so

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If Jerry Rivers ruled the world, there would have been some shit in Al Capone's vault.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What's the story of Russia's military? I read different takes from it being not as strong as we think to worth being feared.

[Bam!]

Well, they do have the AK-47...

[Sevo]

'Upper Volta with missiles'
Prolly enough to get a seat at the table.

[Redmanfms]

Basketcase, poorly trained, poorly equipped and supplied, what "modern" (the Russian version of modern) equipment they do have is sparse and usually in disrepair or outright nonfunctional from delivery. The officer corp became officers specifically because it allows them to skim and sell shit on the blackmarket.

When I was a contractor in Kosovo the Russian troops were usually being fed by NATO at NATO kitchens or with Western rations, officers stole their troops ration deliveries on delivery and sold them. Uniform and equipment replacements were the same. Whatever you saw on a Russian soldier's person was all he had. He may or may not have had any actual ammunition for his rifle, and the only reason he had a rifle is because he was issued it at garrison in Russia and never left it farther than arms' reach away, lest his superiors steal and sell it. The officers and what dysfunctional NCOs were around would conspire to steal their soldiers' pay, usually through outright threats of violence.

And that's just the Army. Their Navy would be a bigger nuisance to the US if they went and scuttled all their ships in the Bosphorus.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

If I ruled the world....Rand Paul would be the Republican nominee and Gary Johnson the Democrat and those would be our two choices for president of a republic that adheres to the standards of the Constitution.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I think he's right. The sheer depth and innovation capabilities of the United States is second to none.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

That was overall a pretty coherent laundry list.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Gotta have a gubmint that allows innovation to happen.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

There it is.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

And here.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Kmele sees to the heart of the issue quickly. All of Geraldo's saber rattling and Kmele just asks "and do what?"

[Jesus H. Christ]

So far, Kennedy doesn't seem too interrupty.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

The muumuu is doing the talking tonight.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Engineering (not math) and philosophy.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

If there's no math there's no engineering, no?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Correct.

But if there is only math, nothing ever gets done.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I see your point.

Just numbers drifting aimlessly among us all...

[Suthenboy]

Wow. Interesting call just now. someone bought 50 burros and mustang? horses, could not take care of them and took them and dropped them off in the woods near Georgetown. Friend who lives nearby called to ask me if I want any (I don't).

[Jesus H. Christ]

Does this sort of thing happen often?

[Suthenboy]

First time I have heard of it.

[GILMORE]

The Independents Attire Review, 9 May 2014

"The Vast Wasteland"-Edition

- Kennedy: We hesitate to comment until Kennedy has finished reading my Palm and explaining in a sultry voice how I had a surprisingly extended "Love Line" for a caucasian. Didn't she say she was Armenian or something? I feel like she's gonna give me the Evil Eye if i say anything other than, "sugar, I'd ride in your Caravan anyday". The skin verges on Pearlescent tonight. If we were a doctor we'd probably warn her about skin cancer. We are not a doctor.

- Matt: (sound of trumpets) WHITE SHIRT! NOT GREY!! SEE! SEE THE WHITENESS! AND A TIE?! NEW TIE?! NICE TIE!! (passes out from joy like a teenage girl at a Beatles concert) Seriously people = this would be a boring humdrum thing for *anyone else*, but for Matt? This is an Accomplishment. I feel like our boy just graduated from 1st grade. We should have a pizza party now.

- Kmele: Ooh. Linen blazer. Natural linen blazer. Woven tie. I've never ranked Kmele's "top 5" or anything close, given his diverse Arsenal of Superfly - but this is somewhere in there, along with the Navy blazer w/ blue tie; timeless, classic, subtle, and flawless. Kmele's endless wardrobe depth simply raises questions about where Welch's attire budget has actually been going. We encourage wild, baseless speculation about his line of credit at Kohls.

Thank You

[Lady Bertrum]

Kennedy is dressed like the crabby next door neighbor from Bewitched or the mom on the Partridge Family.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

Gladys Kravitz

[Lady Bertrum]

That's it.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

"Abna, Abna, come look!"

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Damn, they really put thought into this. I was just gonna ban Aqua-Fresh.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

...a man with a dick.

[Jesus H. Christ]

WHYYYYYYYYYYY?????

Why give Carlos Danger any more air time?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Great question.

What a dick.

[GILMORE]

The cued up inner city blues *just* to the part where Marvin says he's got tax problems.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

/face palm.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

How shocking that Anthony doesn't understand what insurance actually does.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

It's astonishing.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Kennedy upped the snark-level to maximum levels with that rejoinder. Whereas Kmele remains cool as a cucumber.

[kibby]

At least they're finally challenging him a little.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

I'm now missing the part of the program where they all fantasized about what they would do if they ruled the world.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I move to have a coup d'etat removing Weiner as ruler of the universe.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Look Weiner straight in the eye and tell him you don't want him to rule your world.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Oof.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

No bow tie, Tucker?

[GILMORE]

He grew up.

[kibby]

Seriously, that's the only great thing about him.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Wrong Tucker.

[kibby]

??

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

That was Tucker Carlson. The bowtie libertarian guy is Jeffrey Tucker.

[kibby]

Carlson always used to wear bow ties, as well!

[Lady Bertrum]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUNJ-6svJ44

[Lady Bertrum]

The guy doing the interview with Tucker is the 2 minute hate guy on The Independents.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Um...

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Okay, I did not associate this particular Tucker with the bowtie look. Mea culpa

[GILMORE]

Medicare blows ~$50billion in waste a year -

http://www.forbes.com/sites/in.....f-decline/

people who claim that number isn't "all fraud" are mendacious, since the 'waste' estimate accounts for more than fraud. By any fair accounting that's a conservative estimate.

The Entire US health insurance industry generates about $12-14billion in profit a year

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/H.....id=9818699

Yet Weiner calls medicare 'efficient' because of 'no profit'.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Carlson makes more sense than Dick.

[Bam!]

Also, he's not shouting.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

Also, he has concerns broader than fucking obamacare.

[GILMORE]

Tucker just walked on and winged this one.

he's just saying a bunch of random inconsistent feelgood things.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Not bad Tucker. I've heard much worse.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Seemed consistent, which is a step up from most.

[GILMORE]

I would enslave you all and rule with an iron fist until my death.

Sorry, its just how I roll.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Never trust a man who doesn't drink.

[GILMORE]

...the blood of his enemies! Damn right.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Uncle Phil is dead. 🙁

[GILMORE]

I like Bobby's steez

[GILMORE]

Bobby apparently doesn't have the ability to answer questions.

[kibby]

How is this guy not just screaming "OUTLAW COUNTRY!!!!"?

[All-Seeing Monocle]

You know what I don't have on my iphone? Country music.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I 100% support that last suggestion about left-handedness. Call it social justice for the centuries of abuse we've suffered.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Equality now!

[Jesus H. Christ]

Everyone else has to suffer because you were born a freak?

Left handed people are selfish dicks

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

You know who else was right-handed? Hitler.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

And Stalin.

I think.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Yes, but we lefties have Phil Collins to account for, so...

[Jesus H. Christ]

Typical lefty, you screwed that up. It should have been "You know who else was right-handed?" which would allow the commentariat, (all 5 of us at this point) to possibly riff on the topic. Instead, there's a dangling godwin at the thread.

[Trials and Trippelations]

My wife could not learn to drive stick shift because of her left-handedness...and possibly because I yelled too much

[All-Seeing Monocle]

Lefties are better stick drivers. Dominant hand on the wheel.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

One issue Bobby! As a leftie, I support the idea of making all you cocky righties lefty for a day.

[Derpetologist]

Larken Rose's take on being king of the world:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNIgztvyU2U

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What do they all see in Gavin?

[Bam!]

Lets see who can watch Bill Maher the longest.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

I'm out. Did I win?

[Lady Bertrum]

No.

I cannot focus on Maher because I'm to distracted by his horribly disfigured face. I realize it's unkind of me, but is television really the right place for someone who's endured that kind of birth defect/unspeakable accident?

[Lady Bertrum]

No amount of coke or willing stripers can ease the pain of that face.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Is there a way I can just tune in to watch the panel segment and not a second more of anything else?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Not a chance. Not if Jesus Christ himself (not ours) was guest hosting.

[GILMORE]

GAAHH!!!weeeaaaa....hey, its the british guy who might be Aussie again.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

is there a livestream for BM?

[BiMonSciFiCon]

BM? Probably on some German website. I'm not gonna find out though.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

sigh...HBO says it has a livestream, but the link just goes to a place where you post questions for the guests. But you can't actually *watch* the guests.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Perhaps my computer is concerned about me and is shielding me from it?

[All-Seeing Monocle]

I think you might be overlooking some key elements of HBO's business model.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

You mean they won't just give me content for free?

The Occupy Wall Street people were right!

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Ohh, bill maher. Yeah I'd almost rather watch what I was joking about.

[Bam!]

Panel is up, if anyone wants to endure Bill Maher.

[SlV]

Maher just schooled Welch, "it was the anti-Muslim video you crazy teabagger!"

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

What did he really say?

[SlV]

Maher thinks the Innocence of Muslims video is the reason the embassy was attacked and "denying it" is the crazy Republican conspiracy.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

The guy on the ESPN Wizards-Pacers broadcast just said Beal(?) won't "leave any in the chamber." Is that a Washington Bullets reference? Eliminationist rhetoric either way.

[SlV]

Matt is the token rightwinger, time for the crowd to boo his RethugliKKKan ass.

[Sevo]

Does Maher re-run his 'Bush is stupid' joke every night?

[Sevo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW4dYG9VjgA

[Paul.]

Man, Hitch, bringin' the heat!

[BiMonSciFiCon]

No offense to Jets fans here, but the ones they just showed on the draft looked like total dbags

[BiMonSciFiCon]

One of my favorite SNL sketches: http://www.break.com/video/ugc.....oks-384390

[Derpetologist]

Fresh off the derp presses, a prog responds to this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su4PwZCWUdg

On public sector unions.....Is it not ironic that the very people that demonize and whip up anger about public sector unions are public sector government workers that worked to be elected to office, so they could have insane salaries that they could raise on their own anytime, lifetime benefits, and a pension....All at the expense of THE TAXPAYERS. The very same people in fact who will happily pass billions on tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans and corporations, extend insane subsidies and benefits to billion dollar industries, vote for decades long irresponsible trillion dollar wars in league with war profiteers, and throw billions of dollars to the banks and Wall Street gamblers that collapsed our economy?

[Derpetologist]

Cont'd

And after all of those TRILLIONS of dollars pissed away they have the nerve to turn the attention on teachers and poor people as the problem? If you took away all the food stamps and teachers salaries and pensions entirely, the entire amount would be a fraction of the above mentioned insane government spending entirely authorized and executed by these teacher/poor person budget hawks. Like always, they give trillions and trillions of taxpayer dollars away to the very rich and then attempt to balance the shortfall on the backs of everyone else. It's almost as if the corporate elites that were making windfall profits off of taxpayer dollars were orchestrating these very calculated and divisive schemes to turn the middle class against one another so they don't notice who is actually fucking them. The sad thing is, that half of the people actually BUY it and actually blame teachers and poor people for the financial havoc the corporate elite have wrought. It's almost as if half of the people are in a cult, completely unable to see the strings attached to them and the puppeteers making them dance.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"extend insane subsidies and benefits to billion dollar industries...throw billions of dollars to the banks and Wall Street gamblers that collapsed our economy"

Yeah, what kind of crazy right-wingers would do *that*?

[Pathogen]

"extend insane subsidies and benefits to billion dollar industries...throw billions of dollars to the banks and Wall Street gamblers that collapsed our economy"

Yeah.. Barry's TARP didn't do any of that shit.

[Suthenboy]

"...pass billions on tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans.."

First of all, when I hear that, in those exact words, I quit listening to whomever said it. It tells me they have no idea what they are saying, they are just parroting talking points.

Second, I am not sure what solution this guy is going to offer up, but don't be fooled. What they really want is a lynch mob to loot and kill 'the rich', a true reign of terror that would work its way down from the truly rich all the way to the middle class. Firing squads, gulags, mass graves, the whole bit. Those people would burn the world if they could.

[Derpetologist]

So I linked to a Reason video in a derpbook argument and there were immediate screams about the Kochtopus. My opponent was rather unhappy when I pointed out they also give money to PBS.

I have met progs who are not idiots, but not on derpbook.

[Corning]

Didn't they also put money into medical marijuana and pot legalization?

Also a lot of the libertarian organizations they have put money into sure have been strong supporters of gay marriage.

[Paul.]

Child psychiatrist looks after his patients:

Farzad self-designated his practice specialties as psychiatry and child and adolescent psychiatry.

On Monday, Farzad called Molina HealthCare four times regarding a medication denial for one of his patients, according to the department of health's statement of charges. Each time he called he told the person who answered he would kill everyone in the office, and the fourth time he threatened to bomb the building, the charges say.

http://seattletimes.com/html/home/index.html