Tonight on The Independents: Peter Suderman on April Fool's Obamacare, Waterboarding Fail, #CancelColbert, the Fracking/Earthquakes Connection, Big Men Director Rachel Boynton, Gwyneth Paltrow's Parenting, and Sexy Aftershow!

Monday's live return of The Independents on Fox Business Network (9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, with repeats three hours later) kicks off with beloved Reason Senior Editor Peter Suderman counting us down to the "deadline" to sign up for Obamacare, and what all the confusing numbers mean. Party Panelists Santita Jackson (Fox News contributor) and Basil Smikle (Democratic political strategist) then join to discuss the the #CancelColbert nonsense and Bill Maher's surprising racism switcheroo with Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.) and Michelle Obama. The duo will also discuss Gwyneth Paltrow's hard-out-here-for-a-movie-start parenting lament.

Then: Did you hear the one about Los Angeles politicians seeking to investigate whether fracking caused some recent earthquake activity in Southern California? UC Davis Physics and Geology Professor (and Openhazards.com Chairman of the Board) John Rundle joins to break down the science. Rachel Boynton is the director of an acclaimed new documentary called Big Men, about oil extraction in Ghana; she's on next. Then the show finishes with discussion about what the long-suppressed Senate Intelligence Committee report on CIA torture tells us about waterboarding for Bin Laden.

All of which will be followed by the aftershow, which will be live-streamed at this website. Please send your tweets out to @IndependentsFBN; some may be used on air.

Comments

[Old Man With Candy]

Why does anyone care what brainless blonde actresses have to say about... anything?

[Steve G]

because vaccines and autism. oh wait, wrong blond actress.

[Paul.]

Meh...

[Old Man With Candy]

I'll admit it, I watched the show for the first time last night. Not impressed. No one could complete a thought, so I couldn't make any sense out of the arguments, or even what the arguments were.

The lady with the weird orange hair was apparently the most self-centered and unpleasant individual they could dig up. After 25 minutes of this, I turned it off.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

All of which will be followed by the aftershow, which will be live-streamed at this website. Please send your tweets out to @IndependentsFBN; some may be used on air.

I'm not watching the aftershow unless frogs are involved. Literal or figurative will work.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I AM Canadian.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Sorry.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Butz. FWEE healt kare!

Suk on dats Yanks.

[Gorilla tactics]

I AM ALSO CANADIAN...from montreal

but i hate fucking socialized medicine.

[Paul.]

That's 'cause you're an Uncle Tom... Connors.

[AuH20]

If you were really Canadian, you would write that statement in English AND French, Canada's two official languages.

[Gorilla tactics]

Je suis Canadien aussi...de Montreal, mais je deteste notre systeme socialiste.

There happy now?

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

The Office qu?b?cois de la langue fran?aise would like a word with you.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Those motherfuckers.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Mon tabernak! Vive le socialisme du Parti Quebecois!

[Tejicano]

My condolences.

[Sudden]

baby seal clubber!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Cancel Colbert? Live by the sword-sharp tongue, die by the sword-sharp tongue, I suppose. Of course, he's not going anywhere. Not because of this.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Sex Pistols.

Anarchist or more nihilists?

Discuss.

[Ariel Peril]

Neither, pre-fab boyband

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Pre-dating Menudo, eh?

[Paul.]

Nihilists. And bloody cool as they got older.

[Snark Plissken]

Steve Jones was on Jay Mohr's podcast a little while back, if you want to hear a good interview, cool dude.

[Derpetologist]

Tales from the Derp

I was once selected for extra special screening by the TSA. I was returning to the US from Germany. I don't think it helped that I was wearing this and had a huge beard.

They took me into a special room and made me take off my coat and shirt. They asked what I was studying in college. When I said chemical engineering. one guy said "nothing with explosives, right?"

[LiveFreeOrDiet]

What, like organic chemistry? Volatiles? Chemistry of explosives? Reaction wave front progression? Those were my (second to the girls) favorite thing about college.

I'll never forget the (admittedly small) BLEVE demonstration!

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

The BLEVE video was one of my favorite videos shown during undergrad.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Basil Smikle. Beto O'Rourke.

TI is the best at finding people with unique names.

Who's next?

Taragon Miffles?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Archibald X Muffley.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Matt Welch.

[Max Power]

Don't forget about Buck Sexton.

[seguin]

Blast Hardcheese.

[Carl the Jarl]

Anybody wanna read something stupid?

OKCupid.com is now actively asking Mozilla Firefox users to reconsider their browser choice due to the new Mozilla CEO having publicly expressed his opposition to gay marriage in California.

On Monday afternoon, a note appeared on the OKCupid homepage for Mozilla users only, asking that they switch to another browser in light of Mozilla's new CEO, Brendan Eich, having been a vocal supporter of Proposition 8, the 2008 California ballot initiative that created a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

Back in 2008, Eich donated $1,000 to the campaign supporting Prop 8, with Mozilla's name attached as his employer in the public database. When he became CEO this year, boycotts emerged primarily among the web development community.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

OKStupid.com.

[AuH20]

Um... go fuck yourself OK Cupid?

Goddamnit, I pay them. Now I need to compose a nasty email. Any suggestions?

[Carl the Jarl]

I dunno. Ask them why the hell your buddy Carl keeps getting matched with self-described aromantic asexuals. (OK, it's only happened twice)

[AuH20]

Eh, I don't get why single mothers and trannies love the shit out of me.

Also, it is kind of awkward that they jave matched me with a couple of trans men. I mean, trans women I wouldn't be into, but at least I could sort get with a stated female preference... but trans men are, according to gender theory, dudes. I ain't in to dudes.

[SusanM]

Did you mention that you're into karaoke? Maybe a passing mention that you like girls with a little "meat" on them? It's possible that the matching algorithms take the phrase "looking to meet new women" very literally...

[seguin]

In my experience, women only slide into that orientation after I buy dinner.

[Paul.]

I'm gonna join so I can cancel.

[Hyperion]

If that was the case, why wouldn't we be members at Salon, instead of here?

[SweatingGin]

These periodic hissy-fits are fine when they affect TV personalities or social media coordinators. This is plain old tech, though. Really hate when these people get hissy fits going that close to me.

Twitter is a shitstorm on this.

[Carl the Jarl]

Do you read HN at all? They've gone batshit insane over there.

[SweatingGin]

Rarely, but yea.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Basil Smikle (Democratic political strategist):Adjunct Professor; PhD student; sci-fi and comic book geek; lover of all things old skool

Smikle, I regret that we meet in this way. You and I are two of a kind. In a different reality, I could have called you friend.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Bill Maher's surprising racism switcheroo with Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.) and Michelle Obama.

WTF? Maher has always hated Political Correctness.

[Bobarian]

WTF are you talking about? In the past Maher has only hated PC when it went against him.

[Paul.]

No he hasn't. The long-running joke about his first show is that it should have been called Politically Correct.

[Derpetologist]

Stossel on magic politicians, complete with Hillary acting as Santa Claus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Phs6CwnutoY

I'm pretty sure this special is finally what got ABC to force Stossel out.

[Paul.]

The intro made me depressed.

[Ariel Peril]

Are y'all pitching names for ancillary characters in the next Warty Hugeman adventure?

[Palin's Buttplug]

I'm claiming "DiddleJuice".

[Palin's Buttplug]

Obamacare numbers coming in huge: Here's a guide to GOP excuse-making

http://www.latimes.com/busines.....z2xahLbf6q

Oh shit! WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!

[LiveFreeOrDiet]

I don't know what the Republicans might say, but I say those people better learn to love their chains. And I saw something about 4 out of 5 enrollees needing subsidies.
Few sadder sights than self-enslaved cripples. Except maybe their cheerleaders. Got any pompoms to go with that buttplug of yours?

[OldMexican]

We won't know the final March 31 tally for days, possibly weeks, but that indispensable enrollment tracker Charles Gaba is projecting 6.78 million exchange enrollments, with a chance of topping 7 million.

And that other indispensable tracker, Chef Boyardee, is projecting a cloudy day, with a chance of meatballs.

We examined this argument [that a certain percentage of enrolles have not paid any premiums yet] a few days ago. We observed that the concern is probably exaggerated and certainly premature,

Of course you would observe that! Who wouldn't?

many people who enrolled late in the cycle, including those in the March surge, may not have payments due for as much as six weeks after enrollment.

Yeah, that's not what's being pointed out. What's being pointed out is that the White House is touting how many visits they have counted in the Healthcare.gov as if we were talking about Youtube videos.

[Corning]

I thought we were supposed to have 7 million (paid) by January 1.

[AuH20]

So, a few days ago, Epi said their is nothing worse than a Mets fan who is also a Blackhawks fan.

Well, I am that legendary retard. Now, who's got cake?!

[Max Power]

At least Mets fans booed the mayor today. I still think they're the worst, though.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The hit on Toews, clean or dirty?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Clean.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You are Canadian.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What can I say. There's a lot of dirty hits in hockey these days but that's not one of them. Toews really did break the first law of hockey: Keep your head up.

[Gorilla tactics]

When will the habs blow their streak rufus?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I don't care.

Hate the Habs.

Used to love them but they put politics above winning now.

No time or interest to invest in that shit.

But, look, it's not a bad team. Still too small for my taste but can be a handful for anyone including their hated arch rivals Boston.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Didn't know you were from Mtl.

I take it you're a Habs fan?

They get Vanek and Therrien promptly puts him on a defensive checking line. Classic. Put him with offensive players and wow! He scores. It's like magic!

[AuH20]

I lean towards clean, but the part where his skates leave the ice does rub me the wrong way. Especially with greater concussion awareness, going high is kind of a dick move.

I think it's something that looks a lot worse in slow motion

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Could be dickish. Maybe he did leave his skates. I guess Shanahan will determine that but it looks inconclusive to me.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It was a clean hit. I don't like the hit, but that's what you're supposed to do. The follow through had his feet leaving the ice after the contact. I don't like it much myself but finishing your check is what you're supposed to do. I don't see any Shanaban coming down the pike.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'm going to guess Suderman will come across as a coke fiend with ADHD.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

According to the stimulant theory of medication, those should cancel each other out.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Turns out that was about right.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!

[Heroic Mulatto]

Ok

[Rufus J. Firefly]

/zzzzip. Spits.

I ain't riding with that guy.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNQUhqFZ3h8

[Paul.]

My ears... MY EYES!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

A New York style pizza place just opened up down the street from me that advertises an "authentic coal fired oven". Is that a real thing?

[Soros' Wank-noose]

"authentic coal fired oven"

Immediately report them to the EPA!

[Heroic Mulatto]

What? New York style or coal-fired ovens?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The coal. I asked the guy if he meant charcoal, and he said no, plain old coal.
Thanks for the link below.

[Paul.]

I can't speak for using it in an oven per se, but one of the thing that confuses the living shit out of environmentalists is efficiency. Coal is WAY efficient. When properly fired, nearly 100% of the coal goes into producing heat/energy. So the idea that you'd end up with soot in the pizza (which I guess is your concern) is unlikely.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

My guess is that they vent it away from the food compartment anyway. I've never heard anyone brag about coal smoked food before.

[Paul.]

Neither have I, but it sounds cool. Next business idea: Nuclear-fired Pizza. And before you say it, not from a Microwave, but that ionizing radiation shit.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Wood oven I know. Coal? Not so much.

[Heroic Mulatto]

It seems to be a big fucking deal, actually.

[LiveFreeOrDiet]

Should be hotter 'N' the hinges O'Hades.

[Soros' Wank-noose]

Do you really want your pizza looking like your early-twentieth-century orphan cadre?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

If it is from a proper char, then sure.

[Paul.]

Reposting my comment:

I can't speak for using it in an oven per se, but one of the thing that confuses the living shit out of environmentalists is efficiency. Coal is WAY efficient. When properly fired, nearly 100% of the coal goes into producing heat/energy. So the idea that you'd end up with soot in the pizza (which I guess is your concern) is unlikely.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

One of the best steaks I've ever had in my life was a bistec a la florentina. They fire up the coals, run a hairdryer as a blower, and the temp gets up to 1500. A porterhouse in there for about 3 minutes is perfect.

[Paul.]

As a bit of a steak connoiseur, the ONLY way to cook steak is on very high heat, period, the end, do not pass go.

What you describe sounds too awesome for words.

[Snark Plissken]

Now I'm craving steak for breakfast.

[GILMORE]

"A New York style pizza place ...

Is that a real thing?

Jesus man.

If its *called* "new York style", then NO.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The original location is still open right next to the brooklyn bridge.

I'm guardedly hopeful that this place might have some decent pizza.

[GILMORE]

That right?

And do they call themselves "NY Style" or is that just how you heard about it?

I've never eaten at their places in NY, though I've heard of it. I think it had a rep sorta like john's of Greenwich village for being 'different' (the coal oven thing), and therefore notable. I had no idea that any NY restaurants actually functioned as 'chains' outside the city.

This is my fave

http://www.spumonigardens.com/

[RannedPall]

It's a Grimaldi's, Gilmore, and I've eaten both at the Manhattan Beach location and at the location under the Brooklyn Bridge, and I happen to think they're pizza is excellent at both locations. That being said, I prefer my spot in Brooklyn on DeKalb, I believe it's called Luigi's, ridiculously good.

[Ska]

Grimaldi's is no joke.

[RannedPall]

Their*, caught it late, but it still counts!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Yes, the oven would be large and made of bricks with a little window to slide the pizzas in and out.

[kibby]

You know who else had ovens like that?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Your mom?

[jesse.in.mb]

...Are you suggesting Jew-fired pizzas?

Maybe you should be romancing 'Murrican.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS is the only girl for him.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Are you talking about me or 'Murrican?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Murkin. But if you're admitting to a fetish, I'll swing it your way.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Yes, it's not uncommon to have coal fired ovens (essentially the same as a wood fired oven) in areas where coal is plentiful. Much less common here on the West Coast, where the options are usually wood or natural gas.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Wonder if it changes the taste of the pizza.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I'll have my review by the end of business. Calling in the order now.

[RannedPall]

I ate there a few weeks ago, I thought it was delicious, great service, too.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I have two little fuckfaces with bad manners under my watch. I have to do takeout.

[Paul.]

Heh, babysitting Episiarch and Warty again, eh. I hear ya.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I would expect them to behave everywhere but the bathroom.

[Tejicano]

You could go with Pet coke but that could get too hot if you're not careful.

I once ran a backyard kiln with Pet coke to forge some blades using a vacuum cleaner rigged backwards as a blower. One time a blade I was working on was in sideways, across the flow, and it burned right through 1/4 inch 4140 like it was a piece of bread.

[GILMORE]

The "real thing" is just a regular old pizza shithole with at least 1 Italian guy and some Mexican help.

If it tastes different or is made better in NYC, it probably has something to do with the mafia, and the water*.

*I've been told by bakers that the reason pizza dough and bagels in NYC taste fucking awesome but sucks everywhere else does have something to do with NYC's water supply. I don't know much more than that.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

This place has a water chemist. There is another couple locations location in Vegas and AZ, and they used to transport the water from NYC. It got too expensive, so now they just recreate it.

[Paul.]

Shouldn't be hard to do. My guess is you're really trying to match PH and/or Acidity. Although if you were trying to match NYC water out of the 70s, you could just pee in it.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

If that is the case, I nominate myself to break into the restaurant tonight.

I think part of it is the mineral content.

[GILMORE]

Mineral content is also what I was told.

If it were just PH/Acidity it would be easier.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't know what it is, but I've never had real NY pizza anywhere but the NE.

Last time the wife was in NYC, she actually took a pizza making class. Two day deal. She said it came out perfectly there, but can't duplicate it here. I think it's an altitude thing. It's all about the crust.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What's the mafia role in this?

[Ska]

Envelope collection.

[GILMORE]

In nyc, the mafia would sort of force all the restaurants/pizzarias to buy X amount of cheese, oil, etc. regardless of whether they needed it.

Consequently, the NY slice became a "decorated plate of cheese" to help them unload all that excess moozz inventory. More or less.

I think the mafia control of the ingredient importation and distribution was more subtle than that, but it played a role.

[Derpetologist]

Watch to get progs to froth at the mouth? Show them this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwH3Xr6uyG0

[Derpetologist]

*want

[LiveFreeOrDiet]

Take away the carrot, all that's left is the stick.

Of course, if you took away the statism and all that was left was capitalism that would be... wonderful! I'd be happy as a clam!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Derp

That was awesome. Ima use that.

[GILMORE]

Suderman = Shoulder Transplants successful?

He also sent the Faux-hawk a'packing.

[kibby]

Good. Fauxhawks are a blight on the world.

[Paul.]

Fun fact, if I see one more scene, trailer or still from a medieval-era movie where the protagonist has a fauxhawk and product in his hair, I'll squeak.

[Corning]

I would rather they fixed this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzbfuI0PMdA

Swords don't Shing!!

[AuH20]

So, here's a depressing thing: According to any site where progressives congregate (AV Club to Gawker), Colbert is the best guy in late night. The absolute funniest- way better than Stewart.

I just find it really sad that for a vocal minority of people, the highest achievement in humor is a years long, "Republicans are stupid... I hate Republicans" joke.

[Derpetologist]

South Park was ahead of the times:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGl1CCprCeU

[Irish]

Someone doesn't get the joke...

This Explains The Pointless Conservative Washington D.C. Protests And The Government Shutdown! REPUBLICANS ARE SO STUPID,LOL?

This is why it's impossible to mock progressives. They're so fucking stupid, that when you make fun of progressives they somehow come to the conclusion you're agreeing with them.

[Soros' Wank-noose]

Maybe he's just easier to masturbate to?

It would seem that there's a poster or two here that could elucidate on the matter.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I've long thought Colbert should have switched to mocking Maddow/progressives/MSDNC after the Obama election.

There's no way he would do it, as he would lose his smug, self-satisfied target market, but at least he might still be funny.

[prolefeed]

Ironically, the dictates of capitalism meant he couldn't make that switch, since his market share of capitalism-hating leftists would dwindle.

[Palin's Buttplug]

"Republicans are stupid... I hate Republicans" joke.

That joke has worked since Lenny Bruce and George Carlin were in diapers.

[SlV]

Matt,

If you have the NY-based Fox News talent pool on the bench how 'bout some Jana Winter? She seems far under-utilized based on her superior reporting chops and other charms.She'd be real topical too if you ever discuss the media shield law/reporters' 1st Amendment license issue.

[AuH20]

SIV, we've talked about how weird your Fantasy News Anchors league is, right?

But seriously, what would you give me for Anderson Cooper? I need to take my team in a different direction

[SlV]

Ronan Farrow, but I hear he is going down to the minors.

[Max Power]

AH CAVUTO! TOO EARLY!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Prediction: Dreamcatchers.

[Bam!]

Political referee.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Does Kennedy not know it's baseball season and not football season?

[Byte Me]

I bet I could jump through Kennedy's hoops.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Her hoops should have been on fire when she said that. A la Hunger Games.

[Hyperion]

Ugghhh, Cavuto, blech!

Plastic bags are important? NO, we need MOAR WARZ!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Kennedy, that top reminds me of a question I got on an IQ test I was doing. One of those logic ones where they ask which comes next.

Just saying.

[Bam!]

Matt looks like a gay cowboy.

[Heroic Mulatto]

See if you can spot Welch.

[Paul.]

Trick question. They're all Welch. CGI and trick photography like one of those Eddie Murphy movies where he plays all the parts...

[jesse.in.mb]

But is he wearing chaps without pants on under them?

^see how much more cumbersome that is ass-less chaps pedants!?

[Heroic Mulatto]

As he is sitting, we shall never know.

[SweatingGin]

In my mind, he is now.

Watch the guests faces as they walk past.

[jesse.in.mb]

Hmm, he didn't get out of his chair for the earthquake drill!

[PapayaSF]

I was thinking "gay store clerk," but yeah.

[Fist of Etiquette]

OMG WELCH.

[jamesrk]

Justice Cap!
http://www.slipperybrick.com/2.....g-brother/

[jamesrk]

to be worn by every character in the new star wars movies.

[kibby]

MATT. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING NO.

[Max Power]

There's the pelt-vest!

[Hyperion]

Ok, Kennedy just escaped from prison on a silent movie world.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Wo.

Matt.

Wo, camel!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Six fists, no waiting.

[Bam!]

On second thought, it kind of looks like Kennedy is a camouflaged ship.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Holy Christ, Matt. If your outfit flames anymore it'll set the studio on fire.

[SweatingGin]

This must have been a bet.

Suderman has a coordinating pink shirt, too.

Welch's is more pink, though.

[Derpetologist]

Nutpunch? Kennedy has been reading the comments carefully. Still waiting for her to use "derp" or any reference to retards wanting cake.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

They didn't cook 'em right. You need broth with that bull shit.

[SlV]

Is Matt going to an April Fool's Day party as Greg Brady?

[Paul.]

It's no party.

[Fist of Etiquette]

HE'S BEEN SEDATED.

[Hyperion]

Carney, smells like cabbage. LOL.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

CHRIST...Welch! Did you steal that outfit from a Brady Bunch garage sale?

[SlV]

That is so slightly earlier 9:03PM.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Matt isn't even in the frame and I can't hear a damn thing because his outfit is so loud.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Can someone post a screenshot of Welch's outfit?

[kibby]

Just gouge out your eyes. You'll get the same effect.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Ouch. Coming from you, that's saying something.

[Paul.]

Damn, Kibby, you're on fire!

[Soros' Wank-noose]

here

[Soros' Wank-noose]

Matt reminds me of a Brach's Neapolitan candy

[Rufus J. Firefly]

LOL!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Oh wait, Suderman's ramping it up.

[Derpetologist]

Worth reposting: insufferable lefty harangues college grads; hilarity ensues:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPi4lRhEtgk

[Paul.]

Can you skip me ahead to the hilarity part... it just seems kind of Bush-era.

[Paul.]

Oh wait, hilarity at 2:16

[Fist of Etiquette]

FOCUS EVERYONE, WELCH IS JUST DOING THIS TO DISTRACT US FROM PAYING ATTENTION.

[SweatingGin]

No one is talking up Kmele's suit tonight, oh no.

[Hyperion]

I"M SIGNED UP! GO OBAMACARE! Wait... WTF.. I, I mean I, ME! I have to pay for this!!! This is an outrage!!!

[Hyperion]

Whoaaa... look at the Mattster. What is this new look? Pink shirt and a leather vest?

Ok, Matt, you didn't understand what I was talking about when I said you have to tweak your style.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Finally, the MiB Foster is asking the right questi- OMG HOW CAN I TAKE ANY OF THIS SERIOUSLY WITH THAT OUTFIT ON WELCH?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Isn't Medicaid just a way for health care providers to get some of their costs covered when they treat the poor?

[Derpetologist]

For real nut punch: Cop crushes Philly teen's testicles:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....rtile.html

[Paul.]

Again?

[Heroic Mulatto]

And Foster gives the wack-ass break dance chain the cold shoulder!

[SlV]

I get it now. They are dressing based on ideology. Kmele's suit is stodgy serious "right libertarian" while Matt is a freewheelin', let-it-all-hang-out left-libertarian.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Kmele Foster Grants.

[Irish]

On the BBC, I just saw the Blade Runner clip where Rutger Hauer says "I've seen things you wouldn't believe..."

I then switched to the independents, cast a gaze on Matt's outfit, and knew exactly how he feels.

[Paul.]

Ok, even the East German judge gave you an 8.5 on that.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Matt seems a little feisty today, so in defense of his outfit I'll say if you're going to fight, clash!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Don't make me watch any of Maher.

[Derpetologist]

It's time for a Star Wars themed episode: Leia, Han, & Lando.

[SweatingGin]

Make it Luke, and have Kmele wear Matt's vest with a white shirt.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hilary Duff.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Did she just say PARTY PANEL ASSEMBLE?

[jesse.in.mb]

She's stepping up the fan service tonight.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I fully expect Kennedy to go full 4-chan cam whore and write "sup HnR 3/31/14" on her palm and show the camera.

[SweatingGin]

Keyboard on head!

[Irish]

Matt Welch shopping for clothes in high school.

[Lady Bertrum]

So, I tuned in late. Is tonight's theme Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery? I'm assuming this because of Matt's Powers inspired Strawberry Fields outfit, Kennedy as the sexy sidekick in geometric stripes, and Kmele in the Billy D. Williams super villain role. They need a real stylist FOX Business Network. Get on it.

[kibby]

Absolutely spot on. This actually makes perfect sense out of the eye-raping that's on my computer right now.

[Fist of Etiquette]

But when the Cos does it, it's seen as- actually I don't know what it's seen as.

[Soros' Wank-noose]

Sadly, as Uncle Tom-ery

[Heroic Mulatto]

Yup. Michael Eric Dyson has no fucking shame.

[Bam!]

There is no way you can take Matt seriously when dressed like that.

[Bam!]

Throw a flag, Kennedy.

[Heroic Mulatto]

No, your daddy got in trouble when he said he wanted to cut Obama's nuts off.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Matt and Kennedy wisely withdraw from this part of the dialogue.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Can the lady on the party panel do the show a huge favor and give Matt her leather jacket to cover up?

[kibby]

Seconded.

[Irish]

Matt Welch made a friend.

[SweatingGin]

I wish I could quit you

[jesse.in.mb]

So you have twink cowboy porn in your browser history now? Or were you just digging back into the archives?

[Irish]

As a gay man, you should applaud me for having cowboy porn in my browser history.

I don't go in for none of this heteronormative 'only look at straight porn' bullshit.

[jesse.in.mb]

I want you to have cowboy porn in your browser history because you love it, not because you feel like you're checking off some kind of diversity quota.

[prolefeed]

technically it's faux gay cowboy porn. a real gay cowboy who wrangles actual cows would look way manlier.

[Fist of Etiquette]

NOW I HAVE IT IN MY BROWSER HISTORY TOO.

[Fist of Etiquette]

OMG now look at the ads I'm getting. DeVry University - God only know what that is - and some lad rag called Reason!

[Ted S.]

I learned it by watching you?

[Fist of Etiquette]

EVERYONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT OUR HISTORY OF RACISM.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

This topic on race is getting on boring now.

Americans on this point are becoming insufferable.

As if the United States are the first and only civilization to have to deal with racism and slavery.

No one wants to talk about that? Sheesh, it's EVERYWHERE.

[PapayaSF]

I have a prog friend who is just relentless on this. He's down to micro-aggressions and black kids feeling alienated when they get affirmative-actioned into top private NYC high schools. Apparently nothing has changed since slavery.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

No one wants to talk about that? So what's the deal with MSNBC?

[Max Power]

I think Matt wore that just to mess with us. Or maybe to see what GILMORE would say about it.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Definitely GILMORE trolling.

[Derpetologist]

Is there a single country in all of history that did not have racism?

[Irish]

There was no racism until white people invented it and horribly imported it to the American continent.

[Derpetologist]

Very good, you get a crocodile plus in history.

White people were ever oppressed or enslaved? That's crazy talk.

[Irish]

No one is sure what the Indian was doing to the buffalo, but it must have been pretty sick to make the bison jump in front of the white man's guns like that.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

"There was no racism until white people invented it..."

...and ESPN.

Bah. Damn Portuguese and Italian merchants - and the African kings who sold them.

[Derpetologist]

Light-skinned Arabs and Turks? Arabs and Turks with blue eyes? How did that ever happen?

[Sunmonocle Backwards Tophat]

Homogenous countries with no immigration. So North Korea?

[Heroic Mulatto]

North Korea is pretty fucking racist. South Korea is pretty fucking racist.
I would assume that East and West Korea is also pretty fucking racist.

[Irish]

A Nation of Racist Dwarves is still one of my favorite Hitchens articles.

Unlike previous racist dictatorships, the North Korean one has actually succeeded in producing a sort of new species. Starving and stunted dwarves, living in the dark, kept in perpetual ignorance and fear, brainwashed into the hatred of others, regimented and coerced and inculcated with a death cult: This horror show is in our future, and is so ghastly that our own darling leaders dare not face it and can only peep through their fingers at what is coming.

[Paul.]

Central Korea, not so much.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Go back all the way to ancient Iraq, China and India and later Greece, Egypt and Rome. And Mexico and Peru.

All sang love songs and treated each other with utmost respect.

[Calidissident]

Probably not, although it didn't always exist in the West in its current form (of course, neither did "the West" as we know it). Romans, for example, would have looked down upon many other European groups far more than they looked down upon Nubians or Ethiopians.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Are shitheads offended by Mr. Hanky?

[PapayaSF]

Santita Jackson is hot, but she needs a less severe hairstyle. If your hairline starts four inches above your eyebrows, don't wear your hair in a tight bun.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I ignore people who want to start 'a conversation.'

[Max Power]

"start a conversation" mean I talk and you agree with me.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

It's usually a flake that spearheads a meaningless but impassioned conversation.

[Sunmonocle Backwards Tophat]

In their defense, they didn't specifically say they wanted to continue the conversation. Just start it. And then plug their ears.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

THEN I AM JUST GOING TO SCREAM LOUDER AND MAKE MORE OUTRAGEOUS DEMANDS UNTIL YOU PAY ATTENTION AND START A SERIOUS CONVERSATION ON MY TERMS!!!!!!

[Derpetologist]

+1 shrill feminist attorney

[Fist of Etiquette]

If someone is screaming moronically, I have no incentive to talk to that person.

[kibby]

Or maybe everyone could chill out & stop taking offense at literally everything.

[Hyperion]

Then what would the left do? Seriously, what?

[kibby]

Sit at home & cry?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Kind of waters it down.

[Hyperion]

But it's ok for a black mayor of DC to say things about dirty Asian businesses messing up out neighborhoods?

Fucking hypocrites, get a fucking life and leave the rest of us alone.

Most of us don't sit around obsessing about race all fucking day.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hymietown.

And Spike Lee.

Fuck 'em for real.

[Fist of Etiquette]

She shouldn't berate him for being outraged.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Kmele's graciousness is just him being pimp as hell.

[Paul.]

It's 'cause Kmele let that shit go, all gentleman 'n shit.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Of course there was an earthquake, Matt's outfit is an abomination before God and man.

[Hyperion]

Dude, you just don't understand what the transformation from total nerd to super libertarian cool dude, entails.

There's an early stage where you wear pink shirts and leather vests. Duh! I thought everyone knew that.

[Lady Bertrum]

So long as he doesn't start wearing assless leather chaps.

[jesse.in.mb]

I support your use of the phrase "assless chaps" but others in this forum will be upset. The politically correct phrase is "chaps without pants on underneath them."

Go now and thoughtcrime no more.

[Lady Bertrum]

I am chastened. (blushing)

[Byte Me]

Did that woman just act like progs are not incessant in trying to silence others?

Also, I am sick and tired of people being perpetually offended to the point where they think they have a right to silence people. Grow some thicker skin and get over yourselves. Your feelz do not trump speech. If you don't like something, turn it off and get over it. That is all.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Yeah. Try saying that to a frothing-at-the-mouth Pakistani with a hatchet in his hand after you mention anything about Muhammad that he doesn't like.

[Hyperion]

Kmele forgot to check his privilege at the door.

[Byte Me]

Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Speaking of that, one of these days I'd love to visit one of those Pakistani arms bazaars where they have those guys who will fabricate a cheapo knock-off of just about any firearm you desire.

[Ted S.]

Aren't you supposed to 3D print your firearms? Or have your orphan laborers do knock-offs?

[Paul.]

They got that in the Philippines too.

[Max Power]

That "earthquake" was like original Star Trek special effects.

[Bam!]

I wonder what sort of trouble Matt will get into after the show.

[Sunmonocle Backwards Tophat]

Tremors! Do we drink?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It wasn't fracking. It was me.

[kibby]

You apologize to everyone right now, mister.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm sowwy.

*kicks dirt with toe*

[kibby]

& that you'll never do it again.

[Heroic Mulatto]

You know, you're outing your dominatrix tendencies.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Shut up HM...I like it.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You did give yourself an 8.

[Bobarian]

What's your safe word?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Kennedy lives in California and works in NYC? How does she even afford the taxes?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The accountants will figure it out. I had a profit sharing plan at an old job, and I had to pay taxes in the 22 states where the company had a presence.

[Hyperion]

Geez, the news outlets are so desperate for ratings that a 5.2 quake in Cali makes the news?

THERE COULD BE SOMETHING BIGGER! LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT FOR DAYS, BECAUSE WE CAN'T FIND THE FUCKING PLANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ted S.]

How about this?

[Hyperion]

OMG! NOT DRIZZLING! NOOOO!!!!! SAVE US MOTHER GAIA!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Volcano was on over the weekend. Does that count as counter-programming?

[Hyperion]

Ohhh! What would happen if there was a 7.5? What about an 11.7? What then!? What if the earth suddenly collided with the fucking MOON!???

[Fist of Etiquette]

THE FRACKING SCIENCE IS NOT SETTLED.

[Bam!]

Horizon fracking that injects fluid, huh? Matt seems interested.

[Byte Me]

SUPER FRACKING

[Derpetologist]

Contrary to popular belief, Matt is merely the 2nd worst dressed libertarian:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/.....tarian.jpg

[Irish]

Reason is now officially the number 1 libertarian site for all of your gay cowboy needs.

And I think I speak for all of us when I say that I have many needs.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Thank God that man couldn't see Welch's get-up is all I can say.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Frack this, I'm eating taquitos for dinner.

[GILMORE]

The Independents Attire Review, 31 March 2014

"Cabinet of Dr Caligari-Meets-Oklahoma"-Edition

- Kennedy: Holy German Expressionism Batman! "Ker-thwack"! "kpow!!" "Shzzaz-app!" The only thing missing here is Moynihan doing his best Crispin Glover thing and a Kraftwerk backing track. Always best at her extremes, we tonight see Kennedy *blowing the roof off* with her vertigo-inducing jailbreak outfit. We are dutifully overwhelmed. This wins at least 4 = "Damn Girl?!"s

- Matt: Sherriff Woody Pride apparently never got the memo that tonight was going to be 'chic moderne' and not 'aw shucks'. If this wasn't a prank, it really should have been. Everybody else is saying: "Martini Time!"; while Matt is left with a milkshake at Chuck-E-Cheese.

- Kmele: The super-solid game returns; if it weren't for Kennedy's Maximum-Contrast-Attack, we'd be all ga-ga for the slick Navy-on-Navy perfection. And in case anyone cares: this is what a perfect cut coat looks like, people (looking at Suderman). The alterna-matched shirt/hanky (versus tie/hanky) is a nice subtle touch.

(subconscious note: why am I looking at The Independents panel and wanting to go get a gallon of Neapolitan ice-cream?)

Thank You

[GILMORE]

Brief note on...

- Suderman: Someone's made some effort here; as noted above, he's resolved his 'head issue', and for whatever reason, sitting at an angle Peter seems to look slightly less *rounded* around the edges. That said, someone seems to be taking cues from Welch on "how to fuck up a pink shirt with a grey tie". Also = we thought we saw actual shoulders in the post-photo? Something's going on with Peter and his jackets because no matter what he does *something* just looks... off.

As Warty might say, he should probably Squat More.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Brutal.

At least for Matt.

Not saying he doesn't deserve it.

[Derpetologist]

It's time for a Star Trek themed episode:

TOS

Kennedy Spock
Matt: Red shirt
Kmele: Uhura

TNG

Kennedy: Troi
Matt: Wesley
Kmele: Geordi

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Matt is obviously Barclay. He would spend most his time in the holodeck masturbating to Troi fantasies.

[Byte Me]

He would spend most his time in the holodeck masturbating to Troi fantasies.

And I thought I was the only one.

[SweatingGin]

On Friday's AI show, they had the guy saying AI was humanity's last invention.

Nope. Holodeck. Holodeck is the last invention. Unless the AI invents things

[Bobarian]

This, Holodeck - One man enters, no man leaves.

[Sunmonocle Backwards Tophat]

I hate the way people on commercials talk about patents. "Awarded 3 US patents!" All that means is you have the means to draft, file, and prosecute the applications. The claims may be ridiculously narrow and worthless, but you'll still get a patent.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

No jokes about patented expanding hoses?

[Suthenboy]

You mean the dick hose?

My wife bought one. I asked her to help me on the porch one day, had her hold the empty hose about 10 inches from the end and told her very serious "just hold it like that for a second".

Then I turned the water on. It took her a second or two but by the time it was 90% expanded she said " Oh my God you are a child!" , dropped the hose and went back inside.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Meh, a crazy judge could probably make more just decisions than a judge following the law.

[Fist of Etiquette]

We don't want to start holding judges to a high bar.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

TI guys, as the son of a tailor here and owner of over 20 suits (and shoes and ties to go with it) (hey, I was in finance once upon a time), I'll be happy to coach you.

[Heroic Mulatto]

the son of a tailor here

You too?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Yes.

/hugs.

[Heroic Mulatto]

At least our shirts fit.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Was his specialty shirts or suits?

Mine was suits.

[Heroic Mulatto]

My dad and granddad did about everything menswear, but my dad did mostly suits as well. Still an awesome cutter.

[PapayaSF]

Oh great, a "well-medicated" schizoaffective judge.

[SlV]

Did Welch replace the stolen Accura yet? This would complement the threads

[GILMORE]

I WANT ONE

[Bam!]

Did Kennedy say "Dark Vader?"

[Hyperion]

RACIST!

[Fist of Etiquette]

I don't remember Vader having a double chin escaping his mask.

[jesse.in.mb]

The extended, remastered, Bluray version had it. AND IT'S CANON.

[Soros' Wank-noose]

Interested, Kmele?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

All that guy would have to do to get my vote is affirm that Han shot first.

[Fist of Etiquette]

How small does your bladder have be?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Rhinoceros Party in Canada.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party

[Hyperion]

It promises, like its predecessor, not to keep any of its promises if elected

At long last! An honest political party. All hail the Rhino!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I am lying right now.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I love the neorhino tag.

[Hyperion]

Darth Putin! Now that there is funny, I don't care who you are.

Does that make Edward Snowden, Luke Skywalker?

[Max Power]

I need this app. This is a problem for me, because I bring beers or a flask to the movie.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I don't find her hot.

[PapayaSF]

Santita? Great bone structure.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Pap, to answer your question from yesterday.

Yes, fry the pancetta (and the other ingredients). But don't over cook it or it will get crispy if you buy sliced. If you buy a brick of pancetta and dice it, again, don't over do it because it can get hard.

[PapayaSF]

I recently had duck with pancetta at Chez Panisse. What a treat. Totally lived up to all possible hype.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

How long ago? I was up there last year and tried to get in for my wife's birthday. They were closed because of a fire or something like that....

[PapayaSF]

Just a week ago. The whole thing is open again. It was the upstairs caf?, which is not really expensive considering other places these days (appetizers/salads/desserts around $10, entr?es $20-$30). The downstairs is one prix fixe dinner per night, and $65-$150 depending on the day.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I'll eat what the chef tells me to eat. They know better than I do.

I applied for and was overlooked for an unpaid position at Chez Panisse when I was in college.

[PapayaSF]

Not a very libertarian attitude! But you can eat 2-3 times upstairs, with 2-3 times as many dishes, for the price of one visit downstairs.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

No, Jennifer Lawrence. Sanita is hot.

[kibby]

What is the obsession with being someone else?

[Bam!]

Raided her daughters college fund? Now how will her daughter pay for therapy?

[Soros' Wank-noose]

Shoulda had George, Sr. pay for it.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Well Boys, things are still Okay down here in DogDick, Georgia. We got some fucking TENT REVIVALS planned and an old-fashioned Hootenanny.

MAY GAWD SAVE THE GOP!

[Hyperion]

Well, if there was a place that you would live, I think DogDick is most appropriate.

[BigT]

Even DogDick needs a village idiot.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I plan on making myself to look like Kmele.

[kibby]

...We may have to have a discussion.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Well if that's what it would take...

[kibby]

I'm confused now.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Me too.

[kibby]

Don't you have people to yell at?

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

did the Skype event happen yet?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

NO I DO NOT!

[kibby]

YELLING AT ME IS NOT PRODUCTIVE. I WILL BEAT YOU AT THIS GAME, KID.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE GIN AND I DON'T.

[kibby]

You're welcome to share my gin. Because clearly I don't need the amount that I have.

[SweatingGin]

Eh? Gin?!?!

[Lady Bertrum]

You two are worse than Ross and Rachael. Or Bruce Willis and Sybil Shepard from Moonlighting

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Sam and Diane.

[Lady Bertrum]

Carrie and Mr. Big.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

We've already concluded the 430 mile distance makes "us" a non-starter.

So this is as far as it's likely to go.

[kibby]

Thank you, people who thought all this would be terribly cute. =(

[Irish]

Weren't you going to meet in Vegas for some kind of weird three way with Playa Manhattan?

Or did I imagine that in some kind of opium delirium.

[jesse.in.mb]

I think he just wanted to watch.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

No no no! I didn't want to join in, I didn't want to watch. There were no strings attached, other than it might lead to a libertarian super baby.

Guys, it's Sloopy and Banjos 2nd wedding anniversary today (and it is also my 7th anniversary). Let's try a little harder.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

And now I am kind of peeved at you and Jesse for making me want something I can't have.

[kibby]

Ditto this. It's kind of mean, guys. Honestly.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Happy versary.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Thx. Went out to dinner last night and I ate 2 lbs of prime rib. It was really sexy.

[jesse.in.mb]

That's even worse for the rest of us. Y'all need to consummate this so we can go back to normal.

[kibby]

In some other universe where we are made of money & days off, that would happen.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Sorry, but you all would have to chip and pay for kibby's grad school education at a university in Southern California for this to work.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Ummm...kibby is no welfare queen. She needs to get a job like that Belle Knox girl.

[jesse.in.mb]

Sorry, but you all would have to chip and pay for kibby's grad school education at a university in Southern California for this to work.

I'm pretty sure it is Reason custom to pair requests for money with Lobster Girl.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I'll pose Kibby in a bikini kissing a lobster during one of our frolics on a California beach.

[Irish]

Since Lobster Girl is heteronormative, I feel like we should have a sexy lobster man for the gay and female libertarians.

Note: Sexy lobster man is now in my google history. This night has taken some weird turns.

[jesse.in.mb]

I feel like we should have a sexy lobster man for the gay and female libertarians.

I have no idea what to do with that...

[kibby]

What the hell happened up here while I wasn't looking?

[jesse.in.mb]

Irish is actually a Weeping Angel of inoffensive gay porn. You have been warned.

[kibby]

I'm trying so hard not to blink now.

Aw, now my bikini gets no use for another summer.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

There's no use for a bikini in Arizona in the summer?

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

BOYS WILL BE BOYS

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Evidently recreating this picture is the price for us being together.

[kibby]

Lobsters are sea rodents. Can't we find something more...appealing?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Don't be coy. You knew the price when you registered for this forum. Now, take off that bathrobe and get in front of the camera.

[kibby]

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Don't worry. That was intended for Grand Moff. We only want you to sit behind the cameras in the corner there. Not as marketable.

OK, BRING IN THE GOAT!!

[kibby]

I'm a little offended at not being marketable, but also very relieved at this change of events.

Sorry, kid. Sometimes you just gotta take one for the team.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

As awesome as you are, Kara, I don't think you're bestial-worthy.

[kibby]

That cuts me deep, kid. Clearly I need to up my awesomeness somehow.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Holy shit, she has the same name as Banjos! How is this not meant to be?!?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

The thought did occur to me.

And I am not Welsh, kibby. I don't need to fuck a goat to show my love.

[kibby]

I defy you to find a better way to show it.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Not marketable to this audience: a motley collection of jaded perverts, sexual psychopaths, and bizarrely-specific-in-their-desires fetishists.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

HM, I'm now curious what your youtube favorites list looks like. You have a video for EVERYTHING.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

that's a bit creepy

[kibby]

A bit??

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

yeah also super duper creepy

[jesse.in.mb]

In some other universe where we are made of money & days off, that would happen.

Does not compute!

Can't you have your orphans hold down the fort while you're on vacay?

[BuSab Agent]

Jesse, see I told you this would happen.

[jesse.in.mb]

Your only comment this thread is a well executed "I told you so"?

I must admit, I admire you, BuSab.

[Lady Bertrum]

So this is as far as it's likely to go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTHNpusq654

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Han and Leia.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Kibby is the scoundrel and I'm the one who's supposed to like nice women.

[kibby]

Excuse you?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

You have a problem with being Han?

[kibby]

I just don't have a burning desire to see you in a slave Leia outfit, is all.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Ouch. But I would totally freeze you in carbonite and mount you on my wall.

[kibby]

This is verging into the area of personal conversation, I think.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I call Chewie. Wait no, Lando.

[BuSab Agent]

dibbs on Jabba the Hutt

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If I can't be Luke, I want to be Wedge...the only extra fighter pilot to make it through all three episodes.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Not as many people are flattered by blackface as you would think.

[Heroic Mulatto]

LEAVE WEIRD AL ALONE!

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

20 minutes to LOU DOBBS

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

[Soros' Wank-noose]

Uhhh...that would be DAH!bbs

[Hyperion]

Just stop pretending like you aren't going to watch the full Dobbs episode, after this is over.

[Atanarjuat]

According to the ticker across the bottom, you can buy stock in Chipotle restaurants. WTF

[AlmightyJB]

I prefer to buy stock in toilet paper companies. If chipotle does well they do well. If chipotle doesn't well people still need toilet paper.

[Jayburd]

From Fairbanks Miner. I want to write a screenplay based on this event. I think De Niro or Keitel for the priest. Anyway, coming to an Alaska episode near State Troopers you. Father Sean P. Thomson, 52, was stopped Monday at 228 Mile Parks Highway near McKinley Village, according to a criminal complaint filed against him Tuesday. He pleaded not guilty at an initial court hearing and has been released on $5,000 bail. Thomson remains a priest for the Catholic Diocese of Fairbanks but has been placed on administrative leave, said Ronnie Rosenberg, legal coordinator and the director of human resources for the diocese.

Thomson was driving a blue 2002 GMC Sierra pickup truck that was weaving, crossing the center line and speeding 79 mph in a 65 zone, trooper Christopher Bitz wrote in the criminal complaint. Bitz said Thomson seemed disoriented and produced a receipt when asked for his vehicle registration. Asked if he had any weapons, Thomson mentioned a .357 in the back seat but neglected to mention a 9mm pistol in his back pocket, Bitz said. Thomson had a bag with a small quantity of marijuana in the pocket of his hoodie sweatshirt, Bitz said.

Thomson registered a breath-alcohol content of 0.247 on a handheld preliminary breath alcohol test machine. That figure is three times the 0.08 level that is one legal standard for intoxication.

[SweatingGin]

In Dearborn, we had a priest driving around naked and drunk.

"I was, uh, hot. ... I like to drive around naked,"

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

That's the opening scene of a Law & Order episode?

[PapayaSF]

Never commit more than one crime at the same time.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Kennedy just got pwned!

[Byte Me]

Kennedy's little street interview bits are really entertaining.

APRIL FOOLS!

[Bam!]

Nope. Didn't admit that outfit is a joke.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I, for one, am offended by The Independent's policy of racially segregated seating.

[Atanarjuat]

For April Fool's, they should have put a "Colored Only" sign on that side of the desk.

[PapayaSF]

Ha!

[GILMORE]

I once put a big scoop of ben-gay in my brothers underwear for April fools.

It worked. It was *horrible*. he cried for like 4 hours.

[kibby]

Oh my heck, remind me to stay away from you tomorrow.

[SweatingGin]

Welch without vest

[Fist of Etiquette]

Wow. Especially at the end.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

It's not that expensive to get a wood oven in the back yard. I'm actually looking into it.

[jesse.in.mb]

Is that the first time Matt chimed in?

To defend Paltrow?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Way to bring it down.

[Fist of Etiquette]

NOT INVITED TO THE AFTERSHOW.

[Jayburd]

The half naked 10 year old boy apparently ran off into the woods. Just kidding. That will be in the screenplay though. http://www.newsminer.com/news/.....b2370.html

[Soros' Wank-noose]

So, if there's going to be an African oil boom, can we see a lot of Ugandans in 10-gallon hats and cowboy boots?

That would rock.

[Atanarjuat]

Elephant tusks mounted on their Cadillacs.

[AlmightyJB]

If by Ugandans you mean Chevron employees sure.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Yes. It has already begun.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

A show about The Ewing family cousins from Kampala?

[Hyperion]

The last king of Texas.

[Atanarjuat]

Amin's giant elephant tusks by his bed in that movie inspired my comment above. But the more I think about it, a pair of tusks pointing forward is kinda more badass than the longhorn steer horns.

[Hyperion]

I can just see a 300 lb Ugandan in a white suit, alligator boots, and stetson, getting out of a Pink Yugo with giant elephant tusks mounted on the hood.

[AlmightyJB]

I'm guessing that if I was watching the show these comments would still not make any sense.

[Soros' Wank-noose]

.........yeah

[Fist of Etiquette]

But I don't want to draw my own conclusion.

[Derpetologist]

The oil does no one any good if it stays in the ground. If it gets pumped, some will benefit more than others.

This is unacceptable to a depressingly large number of people.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

opium delirium.

That should be the new name of Hit and Run

[Bam!]

A long debate? On The Independents? You haven't been watching, girl.

[Fist of Etiquette]

She actually seemed to know the end was near and didn't try to talk past her allotted minute thirty-eight seconds of airtime.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

They should have at least one guest they can get into a long debate.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They'll always choose the wrong guest.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

They both - Ghana and Nigeria - produce good soccer players though.

[kibby]

Matt, I do not recognize your segment on account of your outfit tonight.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Am I the only one who's getting the feeling the interviews seem rushed and don't go deep enough into the topic?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Like I said before, it's Firing Line for the ADHD crowd.

[GILMORE]

My high-school buddy used to be (perhaps still is) Gwenyth Paltrow's personal chef.

Whatever impression you get from her public remarks? You're *still* giving her too much credit.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

there was a joke somewhere about Chris Martin going on a 5 day Gluten Bender.

[GILMORE]

That's funny.

He got the job because he specialized in macrobiotic stuff, and was like a master in making all sorts of hippy dippy things palatable.

Even he was like, "These people are @()#*$ nuts." Take your most ridiculous food-psycho who thinks everything's poison and subscribes to every fleeting diet fad... and make them 10X worse, and you have Paltrow and Chris's home life. Vegan cats and all.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Her bullshit borders on child abuse. Have you seen how small the kids are for their age?

[Bam!]

CIA used Matt's outfit as a torture method until Congress banned it.

[mbyrd624]

Ironically, Welch is the only person who DOESN'T have to see his wardrobe.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yeah, let's have a serious discussion on torture with that shirt and vest combo. Let's do that.

[GILMORE]

bwa ha ha!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

You've had a week to change it to 'Welch's Gripe Juice'. What gives, show? I didn't want money or a trademark fee, just a hat tip on air.

[Irish]

You've had a week to change it to 'Welch's Gripe Juice'.

Holy fuck this is funny.

[Derpetologist]

Overheard from a coworker:

A guy returns from a business trip and is arrested immediately. His bank accounts are wiped out and he is charged with molesting his twin girls.

He fights it out in court. While describing his woes, a secretary says she saw an Oprah episode with the same story. The theme is about how to divorce your husband and get everything. He gets the episode and sees it features his ex-wife. He gives the tape to his lawyer and his life becomes less shitty.

Another example of why I have no interest in a legal marriage.

[Hyperion]

How about if we water board Peter King?

[Bam!]

Matt touched his collar... Hmm...

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Is Being Thin More Deadly Than Being Obese?
A new study reveals the dangers of a low BMI.

[Bam!]

I've heard tell if you don't eat enough you can, in fact, die.

[Irish]

The data crunching found that adults with a BMI of less than 18.5 were 1.8 times at higher risk of death within five years than individuals who fall in a "normal" range. Even the severely obese only clock in at a 1.3 times higher risk rate. The study, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Public Health, notes that "Poverty, malnourishment, mental problems, smoking and alcohol" are all risk factors for dangerously low BMI. The study's lead author, Dr. Joel Ray, told the Montreal Gazette this weekend that our cultural focus on the problems of obesity have meant that "in the process we've neglected the influence of being underweight on mortality" ? and that we risk an "epidemic" of underweight adults.He added that obesity prevention campaigns can be helpful but also run the risk "of potentially affecting people who are already sufficiently healthy in size, or who are so slightly overweight that it's irrelevant ? their risk of dying or diabetes isn't important. It's those individuals who become unintended victims of the campaign."

Michelle Obama: Mass murderer

[Fist of Etiquette]

AH! Lou Dobbs.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

The so you can finally get some rest medicine.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

AAGHH, LOH DO-, actually no. After seeing what Matt was wearing nothing scares me now.

[SlV]

Lame show

[SlV]

Suderman is a ratings killer

[Fist of Etiquette]

Forget them, bring Suderman back for the aftershow. Promise him sugar and coffee.

[Hyperion]

LOU DERBZ!

[GILMORE]

FUCK MY LIVESTEAM IS IN SPANISH!?

[kibby]

Haaa, nobody knows they're on the air.

[Bam!]

Are we suppose to be seeing this?

[GILMORE]

Ha! Now the cameras are rolling and they have no idea!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

They don't know they're on.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Ha ha! Caught you with your pants down!

[GILMORE]

Not knowing who Robyn Bird is like raising your hand and being like, "HEY! I'm not cool at all!"

[kibby]

Matt, nothing in the bible was originally in Latin.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Indeed. Jesus spoken King James's English. In a Texan accent.

[Derpetologist]

And he was 6 ft tall with blonde hair and blue eyes.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I was ruminating on the irony of this a few days ago. Jesus probably looked like the swarthy Semite he was. Muhammad, on the other hand, was consistently described in the Muslim holy texts, as a large giant of a man, with fair, almost paper-white skin and bright red hair. Basically, a acromegalic Scotsman. Yet, he is consistently depicted by infidel Muhammad-drawers as someone who looks basically looks like the historical Jesus.

[Derpetologist]

Muhammad was a ginger? Explains a lot.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Psst...only his hairdresser knew for sure (He dyed it).

[Fist of Etiquette]

THESE ARE REGIONAL REFERENCES.

[Atanarjuat]

Fuck Lou Dobbs, I switched over to River Monsters. Jeremy Wade helicoptering over unexplored areas of Papua New Guinea. He makes the Most Interesting Man in the World look like George Costanza.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Most Interesting Man in the World
Bill Murray?

[Byte Me]

Welch, your 'pea-cocking' doesn't do anyone any good. Also, as previously requested, please re-post the next Stossel article for the next episode of Stossel as it may provide some redemption for your choice of attire this evening. Now I have to go put vinegar in my eyes and hope I don't have nightmares about a gay Sheriff Woody.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Shit stopper? Really?

[jesse.in.mb]

I WOULD NEVER HAVE EXPECTED CAMO PANTS.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

is that code?

[kibby]

I love those.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I would never have expected pants, period.

[GILMORE]

Kennedy's 'sermon' is something you Do Not Want to Hear.

[Bam!]

It ends with, The Independents.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Shut. Down. Everything.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You send us Bieber Fever, we send you the measles.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

If that shit makes it to my neighborhood, I am going to fucking lose it. My kid's kindergarten class has a vax rate of barely 80%.

[jesse.in.mb]

Get me some plague blankets! I have an anti-vax extended family whose opinions I'd like to shape subtly.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You think that's subtle? I'd hate to end up on your enemies list.

[jesse.in.mb]

Do we not recall that I was fully planning on dousing my face exfoliating cloth that my roommate's then boyfriend was washing his nuts with in capsicum oil?

I don't often go out of my way to fuck someone's day up, but when I do, I play for keeps.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I do remember that bit of utterly delicious revenge!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

He broke them up instead.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I don't blame Jesse though. The dude was bogarting his liquor, too.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

APRIL FOOLS

[Derpetologist]

Where is Matt's courvoisier?

http://v024o.popscreen.com/eGx.....es-man.jpg

[Fist of Etiquette]

You have enough credits to convert.

[GILMORE]

Nicean creed my ASS!!

Roman Catholic FTW!! All you got is beards and our incense is the bestest! Latin, baby

[Fist of Etiquette]

Costumes??? How DARE you. When I was an altar boy, we called them uniforms!

[Heroic Mulatto]

If I wanted to watch this shit, I would have turned to EWTN.

[jesse.in.mb]

I've always wanted to strike someone with a crosier...If a friend of mine becomes a bishop I might have to steal his and start assaulting people.

This is what happens when you play BattleChess 2000 as a kid.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Ever read Daniel Silva's Gabriel Allon books? It's filled with anti-papist blatherings and conpsiracies that but Dan Brown to shame.

[Atanarjuat]

BattleChess

fuck yes

[jesse.in.mb]

That's surprisingly close to what my friend said...

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Researchers find that reading a novel (about Pompeii) causes changes in the brain:

"On the mornings after the reading sessions, the researchers observed heightened connectivity in the left temporal cortex, which is an area of the brain linked to receptivity for language....

"The investigators also noticed heightened connectivity in an area of the brain known as the central sulcus. This is a main sensory motor region of the brain, which is associated with making representations of sensation for the body."

http://www.medicalnewstoday.co.....Ns.twitter

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Pizza review: Meh. Pretty good, but not enough to charge $20 for a large.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Third slice is better, after 2 22oz Hairy Eyeballs.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Lobsters are sea rodents. Can't we find something more...appealing?

uh, Warty?

[kibby]

How did this end up down here?

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

YOU GOT BROOKSED

[Capo]

Great show tonight. I wish you would have stuck with the segment on the Paul Ryan/Michelle Obama quotes. I think that discussion was about to get very interesting.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

To Kibby and Grand Moff Serious Man:

Stop ruining Sloopy and Banjos' anniversary.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

[kibby]

You only have yourself to blame.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

You and Jesse are the ones who started the fire.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNING

[jesse.in.mb]

I decline your guilt trip with extreme prejudice. I didn't *start* anything. If could generate romantic interest from nothing, I would charge money.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

And I would invest in his company

[jesse.in.mb]

Playa fixed up some gyro on Friday and I got some in a food exchange. I'm just getting around to heating up my leftovers. Holy crap it's good.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You might say the secret ingredient is salt.

Did the tzatziki keep through the weekend?

[jesse.in.mb]

Yeah. A good portion of it got hoovered up by my guests on Friday who paired it with their grilled veggies, but there was enough left for my to apply it liberally to the gyros tonight and it's perfect.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I thought it might have been a little thin. I ate your batch before you got here, so I had to whip up a new batch in a hurry. I probably didn't drain the yogurt and cucumbers for long enough.

If there is any liquid on the top at room temperature, just pour it off....

[jesse.in.mb]

Nope. It was great. I even stirred the excess water back in and it was a decent texture.

[PapayaSF]

[Damn, the squirrels just ate my comment. Apologies if this shows up as a double post.]

Do you make your own gyro meat? I found a recipe that works well and doesn't require a vertical roaster. Short version: mix ground beef and ground lamb with spices, form it into a flat and thin patty, bake until brown, and cut into strips.

[Sunmonocle Backwards Tophat]

I've had trouble making my own gyro meat. It tends to fall apart when I slice it.

[PapayaSF]

I make mine pretty thin and pretty well-done, so it hangs together well enough.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

The Associated Press ?@AP 9m
BREAKING: AP sources: Obama's health care law on track to hit 7 million sign-ups on deadline day.

[Irish]

According to the Rand Institute, 3/4ths of that are people who got kicked off their own insurance.

[Big Chief]

I thought the rationale for this aw was because there were 30-40M people without insurance. And they rejoice over 7M (probably exaggerated), most of whom probably had insurance before Obamacare? Clearly a great idea greatly implemented.

[Irish]

Three quarters of whom had healthcare before Obamacare.

So this is like 1.5 million people out of a supposed 40 million. And virtually everyone's premiums went up in order to subsidize that 1.5 million people.

I think it's hilarious that they've so lowered their expectations that what was supposed to be a game changing law is now considered a success for not immediately murdering everyone in America.

[Big Chief]

A key item in the new Common Core curriculum is how to implement terrible laws without immediately murdering everyone so it doesn't get called into question. So the system is sustainable.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

This whole law has been a giant exercise in goal post moving. How many people made critical mistakes on their applications that are going to be impossible to rectify in a timely fashion?

[Rich]

in a timely fashion

I'm too lazy to look it up, but isn't HHS on record about "taking as much time as necessary"?

[Sevo]

"The Associated Press ?@AP 9m
BREAKING: AP sources: Obama's health care law on track to hit 7 million sign-ups on deadline day."

Hmmm, let's do a bit of parsing:
First, Sebilius is on record as claiming '7m [new] insureds would constitute success'. Yes, she didn't specify 'new', but that was before we knew that millions were going to be tossed, so I'll presume that was her intent. Strange, isn't it, that the gov't releases news concerning "7 million".
Now, let's talk about "sign-ups", versus "insured" and, pace Irish, new insureds vs replacements.
And let's find out the demos, and how many just got handed Medicare.
And finally, pace Big Chief, Sebilius was giving herself a easy target (which is probably not met) compared to the supposed intent of the "law".
Move that goal post far enough and the slimy turd known as shreek can claim a goal!

[Big Chief]

Do you know what other easy target Sebilius had? October 1st.

And do you know who else gave themselves easy targets?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

BREAKING NEWS: Angels place Don Baylor on 60 day DL after horrific knee injury during today's pregame ceremonies at Angel Stadium.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Should Vlad go into the Hall as an Angel or an Expo?

[Bobarian]

Angel

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

oh, a New Jacko album

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

is this Too good to be true?

[PapayaSF]

Um, doesn't seem so to me. Older BMWs drop in value more than you'd think, so maybe Audis do, too.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Just looked it up in Kelley Blue Book and it says in Excellent condition it would get about 3,683 USD.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

well it's going for $1k more than VWs of the same vintage. also I've been watching that price point for a few weeks and it's the first Audi of any kind

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Used 4Runner or GTFO.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Single in the country?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I entered my info and nobody had sex with me.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

#SlatePitch: Tax the childless to pay for parenting!

When my mother was my age, she was working full time while raising three small children, and she spent every spare moment studying to finish a graduate degree. My father was working extremely hard as well. Between the two of them, they were able to provide their kids with a solidly middle-class life. But it wasn't easy, and it wasn't always fun.

So now, as a childless professional in my mid-30s, I often reflect on the sacrifices working parents make to better the lives of their children. And I have come to the reluctant conclusion that I ought to pay much higher taxes so that working parents can pay much lower taxes. I believe this even though I also believe a not inconsiderable share of my tax dollars are essentially being set on fire by our frighteningly incompetent government. Leviathan is here to stay, whether I like it or not, and someone has to pay for it. That someone should be me, and people like me.

Who should pay more? Nonparents who earn more than the median household income, just a shade above $51,000. By shifting the tax burden from parents to nonparents, we will help give America's children a better start in life, and we will help correct a simple injustice.

Wow.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

We asked the Kids at Fark to discuss this article.

Let's see what they came up with.

[PapayaSF]

Non-parents already pay for schools via property taxes.

[Dances-with-Trolls]

But they should pay even more because other people decided to have children and it just FEELZ so sad to see them have to make the trade offs parents have had to make since well.. people.

[Irish]

Who should pay more? Nonparents who earn more than the median household income, just a shade above $51,000. By shifting the tax burden from parents to nonparents, we will help give America's children a better start in life, and we will help correct a simple injustice.

...Injustice? No one forced you to have kids.

HOLY FUCK, LOOK WHAT ELSE THIS PERSON WROTE!

White Snow, Brown Rage

The racial case against the Winter Olympics.

...

Deep in my heart, I hungered for a mahogany man-killer who would avenge me on the slopes and forever banish my Winter Olympics-induced shame. This year, I had a strong candidate, Indian luger Shiva Keshavan. But the story of this "great brown hope" is not one of unmitigated joy and triumph. It's a parable for the tragedy of modern India. More than that, though, Shiva's struggles teach us that a brown man trying to make it in a white man's world is like luging uphill.

Good lord.

[kibby]

What is this even supposed to be? My brain is not even able to comprehend.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I understand. I feel the same way during the 100 meter during the summer Olympics.

Oh wait, no I don't because I'm not an envious ahole.

[Calidissident]

Is there some requirement that people care about the Olympics, Winter or Summer? Personally, I enjoy the Summer Olympics, and don't really give a shit about the Winter Olympics (the only event I slightly care about is hockey, and just out of shallow national pride). If someone else feels differently, I don't give a fuck and I don't see why anyone else would.

[Sidd Finch]

Rather than spend his hard-earned money on a high-tech, precision-engineered sled, Shiva blew more than $300 on a fancy, saffron-colored luge suit. He must have surmised that the lusty "ooohs" and "aaaahs" emitted by ladies swooning over his luge-suited frame would propel him at a velocity approaching the speed of light. Regrettably, that is not how the laws of physics operate.

Like Shiva, India has a maddening tendency to misplace priorities. You'd think the country would pony up for a world-class Olympic squad befitting its newfound status as an economic juggernaut. Instead, it seems that some New Delhi nerd decided to prioritize providing basic services to an impoverished population racked by the twin plagues of illiteracy and disease.

It's satire and pretty damn fine satire at that.

[Big Chief]

If you think you should be paying more, then you probably should. You have every right to pay more. The IRS/Treasury will be HAPPY to take your cash donation. Everyone is fine with that.

But sadly that is not what you are proposing. You mainly want OTHER PEOPLE to pay more, not you. You're not being thoughtful, deep, or good. You're being a covetous, odious creep. Please stop. You're every word and thought is making the world a worse place.

[Big Chief]

Your instead of you're in the last sentence. But in some ways, you're seems correct, too.

[sticks]

Doesn't he write for National Review? Goes to show conservatives and progressives aren't all that different.

[Sunmonocle Backwards Tophat]

Just when I thought you couldn't get lower than "ask to pay", we have "ought to pay". I suppose the next step will be "It would be wonderful if they would pay [by the soft touch of a velvet fist]".

[Rich]

More from Slate: How white parents should talk to their young kids about race

You may see an issue in diversity that bothers you that you want to comment on, like, 'How come there are no black Santa Clauses on television?'

Obviously you're not watching enough television.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Santa Claus is a Black Man

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Homey Claus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QnV0s69_FU

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Because Santa is based on Odin? Damn those racist Vikings!

[GILMORE]

There's a different version of that by john Derbyshire which is more like, "Don't look them in the eye!" or "Cross the street! Better safe than sorry."

[Sunmonocle Backwards Tophat]

There are protests in Albuquerque over James Boyd's death by the Albuquerque police. From the comment section, some supreme derp:

"Police are trained to think the worst. That is because at any moment someone's life could be at stake. If someone reaches into their bag or pockets quickly you must make an extremely quick decision. Do you want to see your family tonight or possibly allow this man to pull a knife or gun and shoot you or your buddy you have worked with for the past 10 years. A friend that has stood by you in the worst, absolutely worst of times. I do not know this story, neither does anyone else by just watching this 4 minute video. Only the individuals that were at the scene know exactly the events that occured. They live with the consequences. Nobody (including myself) can know what it is like in these situations unless they have been there before. Making a decision in a millisecond that can save other lives is difficult. There is no positive outcome. I would say policing could possibly be the most difficult job there is. In no other job do you affect people's lives so quickly with every decision you make. Your version of what is right and wrong is different than anothers."

[Sevo]

"Your version of what is right and wrong is different than anothers."

Somehow, that moral relativity probably doesn't exist when a cop testifies in court.

[Dances-with-Trolls]

Only the individuals that were at the scene know exactly the events that occured. They live with the consequences.

I assume that this refers to some kind of inner turmoil or moral crisis, because there never seem to be any other kind of consequences for these fucking thugs American heroes.

[Dances-with-Trolls]

I find it morbidly entertaining to, on occasion, explain to people that US soldiers in actual war zones follow stricter rules of engagement than police officers in the US do. That the US government treats the lives of US citizens with less regard than those in countries which it has invaded.

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

So what's the most libertarian car?

[Sevo]

The smallest package you can find to jam a SBC in.
An old Austin Healy 3000 does well.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

The delorean from back to the future

[Dances-with-Trolls]

"Where we're going we don't need ROADZ."

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Yes. And personal nuclear reactors seems pretty libertarian.

[Dances-with-Trolls]

Well then I guess the hearse in Ghostbusters could get an honorable mention for carrying around a bunch of unlicensed nuclear accelerators in the pursuit of profit?

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Hell, I forgot about that. I think we have our top two.

[Bobarian]

Oh shit, I recognize Welch's shirt.

That is Hoss Cartwright's standard dress.

[Bobarian]

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm10.....mmd_md_nxt

[Calidissident]

More Reddit stupidity

"If North Korea didn't change a single thing in its regime, but simply became free market capitalist overnight, the US would happily do business with them and you'd see 1% of the negative headlines you see about them on CNN.

Saudi Arabia is proof that democracy is irrelevant, what matters is being a free market economy and buying military goods from the West.

This explains why Russia will do whatever the fuck they want, and the US will pretend to apply sanctions, because Russia is free market capitalist and business is good."

http://www.reddit.com/r/worldn....._new_laws/

[Sudden]

Apparently this person hasn't bothered viewing the economic liberty rankings of Russia on any of the market-oriented think tanks. Russia ranks low on rule of law, which most market-oriented types give greatest weight in such rankings.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It's almost 700, right?

[Sidd Finch]

PWND

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Are you referencing the time when you blatantly cheated?

[Sidd Finch]

more or less

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Canadian Math

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Metrically, I win.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Favorite all-time movie theme. Go!

[Sidd Finch]

Movie them for what? This question sucks.

[Sidd Finch]

I got an e-cig today. I thought it would replace the occasional cig smokin' while drankin'. It's better than a substitute though. I'm already well on the path to being a Buck Naked (??!!?!) fiend.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

That ain't gonna help you hit 700, though.

[Sidd Finch]

Guess who's back

[Sidd Finch]

in the motherfuckin' house

[Sidd Finch]

with a fat dick

[Sidd Finch]

for your motherfuckin' mouth

[Sidd Finch]

hoes recognize, niggaz do too

[Sidd Finch]

600!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Night kids.

[RishJoMo]

Sometimes you have to roll with the punches.

http://www.GotzAnon.tk

[prolefeed]

Geez, the news outlets are so desperate for ratings that a 5.2 quake in Cali makes the news?

Someone is seriously lacking perspective when their go to theory of the cause of a minor quake on the fucking SAN ANDREAS FAULT is "OMG! Fracking!!!1!"