Tonight on The Independents: Death Row Man Freed After 30 Years, DiFi's Spy Cry, Obama Between the Ferns, Millennial Ennui, Snowden-Basher Jim Gilmore, Reagan-Fight on the Right, Sexy After-show, and Keepin' it…Moynihan?
Have you heard the one about the man on Death Row being freed any moment now after serving 30 years for a murder that the state of Louisiana now believes did not throw off enough evidence to lead to the man's arrest, let alone execution? It's a harrowing tale, championed by the Shreveport Times, and will be the subject tonight of discussion on Fox Business Network's fab television program The Independents, at 9 pm ET, 6 pm PT, with repeats three hours later. Joining the show to talk about the case will be Marc Hayden from Conservatives Concerned About the Death Penalty, who were one of the subjects of this recent Reason.tv video.
Other topics include: Lousy (though beautiful-eyed) Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-California) getting all huffy about the CIA spying on her precious, transparency-hating Intelligence Committee; President Barack Obama's hoo-larious turn on Zach Galifianakis's Between Two Ferns chat-show; and new studies proving that Millennials are basically independent atheists who hate social conservatives and never work. Chewing on this topic will be Party Panelists Bill Spadea (New Jersey Republican) and Dan St. Germain (beardy comedian).
Former Virginia governor Jim Gilmore recently made headlines at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) by saying that "Edward Snowden is a traitor and a coward," so he'll be on to talk about that. Also, Republican senators keep smacking each other in the face with Ronald Reagan, so that will occasion some discussion. And although Reason-comments heartthrob Kmele Foster is taking his talents elsewhere tonight (something about a fancy "play" on "Broadway"), we'll still be Keepin' it Kmele, with… Michael C. Moynihan??? And a million An-Cap hearts asplode….
There will be sexy after-show bits viewable (in theory!) at the show website.
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Another beardy comedian? Man you guys got a deep bench.
But apparently not any other minorities on the bench to replace Kmele. Unless we're going back to considering Irish a minority.
Yes, let me comment on the fact that Kmele Foster has apparently now gotten too big for his breeches and setting his own hours. I say offer that scab Moynihan his spot and let him think about his life choices.
Comedians *with* facial hair: Mark Twain, George Carlin, Groucho Marx
Comedians *without* facial hair: Sarah Silverman, Lena Dunham, Ellen Degeneres
Moral: Go with the hair
I wouldn't be surprised if Lena Dunham grew facial hair.
You have obviously never seen 'Girls' in HD. Dunham has (or is) a hipster beard.
Dunham is a comedian? I know that moronic hipster Obama fetish video was funny in a sad way, but didn't know she was a comedian-comedian.
Or is it comedienne?
Seeing as she gained a lot of weight for this season...yes. I maintain that she's pulling an Andy Kaufman on her fans.
For the movies, Groucho's "moustache" was actually painted on.
Yes, but he had a real one, o ye of little faith:
http://www.latimes.com/include.....o_marx.jpg
Lousy (though beautiful-eyed) Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-California)
Is that a reference I'm not getting or is Matt serious about the eyes? Because I wouldn't call evil eyes beautiful.
Is there ANYWHERE on the Internet Gore invented I can watch the show?
http://www.baqiworld.com/2011/.....news-live/
Oops, disregard, that's Fox News:
http://www.baqiworld.com/2011/.....ness-live/
Thankyuh sir
Man, that's fast. Thanks.
Quicker than being serviced in a Thai massage parlor.
And like the Thai massage parlor, ignore the first one - too buggy - do the second.
Oh, and I'm very sorry, sir, but I don't know where your wallet is.
There will be sexy after-show bits viewable (in theory!) at the show website.
Wait a minute, is this show live now? I happen to know for a fact that you were recording all the week's shows on Monday afternoons like they do on Jeopardy! and Stossel.
INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4opYhQAAao
Skydiver, Pilot Survive Midair Collision
pics
Whoa, that looks both serious and in need of comedic music at the same time.
+1 yakety sax
Not sure if they were lucky or unlucky.
Well, you got your Fat Rush rednecks. Then your Beckerheads.
Team Red is all class!
When you hear something you don't like on the radio, do you shake it up and down to punish the little people who live inside?
I laughed.
He spelled rhino wrong...
Oh fuck you, Cavito. McCain is an ass.
Watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA
This is a propaganda song, and it's very good. Can you ever imagine libertarians coming up with something like this? No you can't. Firstoff libertarians have asperger's and can't relate to people. Secondly, left-libertarianism is an inherently anti-human ideology. It is neither nationalistic nor egalitarian, but based on assuring that a capitalistic elite are allowed to act without regard to their fellow men. This is why libertarians have NO CHANCE.
Does being a douchebag hurt?
Hi, Mary!
? Bad, bad Strawman Brown! Baddest derp in the whole damn town! Badder than that ol' Tulpaaaa! Meaner than a junkyard dog!
Strawman? How is my comment not an accurate description of reality?
Do you wonder where the sun hides at night?
Behind the moon?
HAHAHA!
OMG! A+ trolling!
Chocolate Rain! I bow to your Buddha nature, sir!
I bow to your Buddha nature, sir!
Don't understand what this means.
Let me rephrase. Does a dog have Buddha nature?
Mu.
Prediction: No earrings.
You should write the Bible Code 4. You'd be about as accurate as the first three.
Green stained glass danglers
Is Cavuto demanding his audience not watch the Independents?
Upside-down ice cream cones.
Are those Christmas ornaments?
Peacock shit earring!
Dreamcatchers!
Moynihan looks like a corpse reanimated by Krieger.
So, blonde, leggy, nice tits?
Oh shit, Kennedy just shittalked Matt's shirt.
If there is no Kmele, you have nothing.
Quite the contrast in the party panel appearance. One looks like a sleazy mob lawyer and the other an unemployed lumberjack.
Or an Ewok.
an unemployed Ewok.
An unemployed Ewok lumberjack.
I have grave concerns...
Too bad it's not just a grave.
You can trust us because intelligence officials don't lie!
Okay, who gave Feinstein a copy of the Constitution?
Separation of powers? WHAT ABOUT THE FOURTH AMENDMENT, BITCH?
Separation of powers means THAT's OUR JOB.
Feinstein has her boxers in a knot
You paid to say stuff about it, Moynihan. Obvious or not.
That guy looks a bit like a human version of the Cowardly Lion.
Welch doesn't understand what being a Democrat is all about.
Fat bearded guy is funny!
On a scale of 0 to Episiarch, how stoned are you right now?
I'm more drunk.
On a scale of 0 to SweatingGin...
Holy shit, Moynihan is actually funny.
The swooning over Obama going on that stupid ferns show has already become insufferable.
The One doesn't even get how far to Idiocracy he is taking it.
Could you even imagine Putin doing a similar thing in Russian media (assuming they even have something parallel)?
Um, Putin already descended into self-parody with being shirtless in 70% of his official photos.
I just realized that Moynihan could replace Dick York if Bewitched can't get Dick Sargent back.
Sargent Dick?
Major Dick?
Bigus Dickus?
He hath a wife, you know...
Between two ferns ...
...and they called Bush a shrub!!
Late to the game, because my ancap heart did assplode.
Aw, everyone looks so nice in fancy HD! It makes the show much more watchable.
Jeez, in std def, you probably couldn't even tell how many loops were on Kennedy's dreamcatcher earrings
I normally have the crappy stream that's comprised of roughly two hundred pixels. My eyes are so happy right now!
We're all pretending that your project to map Welch's pores isn't creepy.
I'm more upset that I have more gray hairs than him. WTF Matt, you're like twenty years older than me! HOW IS THIS FAIR.
It's not. So you should obviously embrace being a silver fox.
I think that only applies to men.
Not if it's like a widow's peak. That's kind of sexy.
It is my theory that they constitute an irrigation system for the native inhabitants.
/percivallowell
Black Butte Porter tonight (Deschutes Brewery)
Manhattan. Bulleit Bourbon, Angostora Bitters, Via sweet vermouth. Slice of orange peel.
Why do you ruin good whiskey?
[old timey projector clicks and clacks]
[Cheesy orchestra music plays then segues to My Country Tis of Thee]
DERP & YOU
Partners in Freedom
Well, hello there! You've heard of derp- but what is it?
Derp is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds us.
But too much derp can be harmful. How can you protect yourself against derp? There are 3 key factors to minimmize exposure. These are:
Time
Distance
and Shielding
Derp exposure is measured in Tulpas with a device called a Tulpa counter. The more derp, the louder it clicks.
"It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds us."
I thought that was supposed to be Warty who did this?
Warty binds you before penetration.
Jag-yew-ar!
GIGGLE BREAKDOWN! But she recovered. Damn.
I'm drinking chamomile tea, just for Kmele.
For them independent means they vote Democrat but not very often.
Nothing is more heartening than your mom, Matt.
Except your mom.
Well, yes...
Seriously, this is absolutely worthless without Kmele. He's the heart of the show.
Yeah, without Kmele they need much better guests. Moynihan is crap.
Thanks to Notorious, I finally feel a part of the family.
What's my initiation?
Do you think I will disclose our sacred initiation rituals in a public forum such as this? Look, just get yourself some rubber gloves, a parrot, a bottle of vinegar, and a coiled spring, and come see us for the rest.
Really? We needed that demographic chart?
"Everybody I know voted for McGovern"
Every Frenchman was in la resistance.
I'm finding the tickertape particularly annoying tonight. Couldn't they get rid of that? maybe have a sports crawl
Paul wins the straw poll the way Fox News wins the ratings. The competition is a bunch of clones who water down the opposing vote.
When will TI get Adam Carolla on as a guest?
No.
Why, HM?
*shrugs*
I'm not a fan of his shtick. Though, I might watch his new "To Catch a Contractor" show.
Ah.
I just think he'd fit nicely in this format.
HELL NO
I'm hoping for Jim Goad
Not a fan I take it?
I also have a degree in anthropology! I'm as worthless as this guy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrKHhiTdzmY
Anyone else wanting to punch the bearded comedian without really listening to what he is saying?
"I look like I'm selling dreamcatchers from a van... at burning man"
Okay, I guess he's alright.
Gee, thanks for putting the pressure on me Matt.
Gee, thanks for putting the pressure on me Matt.
This will lead to burning Citroens here in the US?
YES!
jesse.in.mb whole-heartedly endorses spirited Citro?n destruction!
But..but...the Traction Avant...so pretty.
Kennedy has achieved more in her life than I have. I'm depressed now.
You'll never introduce a fucking Nirvana video. Loser.
Hey, you accomplish things. You bring unspeakable horrors to Hit & Run!
Yeah but Kennedy got to be in the same room as Adam Curry!
You're Calabrese.
That's an accomplishment, paesano.
One day I'll tell you tales of my journey high in the mountains of Reggio.
Kennedy didn't have Obamacare contraception back in her college days.
Six & half years to get a degree? I took three flipping languages & am graduating a semester late -- mostly because I could only afford one class my first semester. Kids today, man.
Did you do summer terms?
If not, why not, slacker?
Who can afford summer & winter term?
err...me?
Summer term was the best actually. I could do a whole semester's class in 8 weeks. Yes, the classes where like six hours long, but I really, really liked that format.
Yeah, I saved Thermodynamics and Differential Equations for summer terms. That let me concentrate on them better than having them with a full load of other coursework.
I took non-parametric statistics in two weeks over the summer term.
Janterm was paid for by our fall term. Those classes were awesome.
Hey, I have two worthless degrees. I worked hard to be worthless!
Lots of people go to college for seven years.
(and then I dropped out!)
Lots of people go to college for seven months and then drop out. Hey, I had shit to do.
It's Scruffy that went to Hopkins with me, not you, right?
Not me. A state U in MI.
It's just a few people who can relate to my experience.
To be honest, I took 6 years to get my engineering degree. I shifted disciplines 3 times and didn't rush it too much. I wasn't in a huge rush as I was working and enjoying my time at school.
Taking any amount of time to do a BA and expecting a job after because you have that degree has always been something I viewed as delusional. So even 1 year in a BA if you are expecting it to produce a job for you is far too long.
Prediction: English, British and C#.
Wrong!
Latin, Attic Greek, German, or maybe Sanskrit. I understand why a Classicist needs to have reading knowledge of German, but fuck, it's Sanskrit!
Right on two. I eschewed my expected modern language because grad school wasn't happening & took Persian instead.
Persian? Interesting, and very profitable if you're willing to go the Intelligence community route.
I took Japanese and Mandarin even though they didn't count towards my engineering degree in any way. I tried to get as much towards my interests out of my time in school before my GI bill ran out - just made it by the smallest or margins.
Though I have some Mandarin, Mandarin and Japanese were also too useful. You're not a true linguist until you study a dying language that only 100 people speak.
This was 1982. The PRC was still closed for us capitalist running dogs so it wasn't as useful as it might seem now. But, yes, I could have pushed to get Tarahumara offered - which was listed in the catalog - for a real linguistic exercise.
H.M. ,
are you a "professional linguist" ?
and I only put it in scare quotes because I don't know what that even means, if you answer yes. No offense intended.
Four years for me, two at community college and two at a UC.
But I need one more class to finish and I'm really hoping I don't have to pay $3,000 for 4 goddamn units.
California just rapes students on college prices.
The awful thing is that I've already passed statistics in a community college class, but UC Irvine requires that I take a three course sequence from them to get my degree.
I passed the first two but failed the last so here I am. I'm doing part-time though so hopefully the rates are affordable out of pocket for me.
"It's way better to spend your life toiling away in a job you hate- especially if you don't have to!"
Bearded guy is leaning in.
I don't think "socially conservative" views are going anywhere. I go to a very liberal college and yet I hear a lot of frat-boy jokes about the "faggots," as well as general "sexism," from "enlightened" Dem voting students. These people might not care about gay marriage and they all support abortion, but they are still the cultural liberal's nightmare. Of course none of these people would identify as "socially conservative" because they know all social conservatives live in trailer parks in the flyover states.
Place your bets: Will Mr. Snowden Is A Traitor get the commie treatment?
"Fox Business? Sure, I'll go on one of their shows. They have to be sympathetic to terrorist-busting domestic surveillance, right?"
No relation
What about Gary?
Actually, yes.
there's a story there that I will skip.
Maybe I can become famous like Kennedy for wearing hipsters glasses, fancy earrings, and riding naked on horses.
Kennedy is famous?
"A relative of mine spent 2 years picking his nose at an Air Force Base in Oklahoma. And that's why I deserve discount insurance. USAA"
You get all the good commercials.
It's tough being Canadian with all these commercials. I can't just pick up the phone and join The General for a free quote.
Now that is tragedy.
is USAA actually subsidized or do they just not have to deal with public-accomodation-like aspect of being an insurance company, and therefore have a better client pool?
This^
Not at all subsidized.
Working primarily with active duty military provides a more stable insurance pool. I just retired and I give them all my insurance and banking business.
AC/DC- now advertising for bug killing services!
So I got profiled by.Ohio State Troopers.today in a "saturation operation" they were conducting on I77 and I70. Manufactured probable cause and everything.
What profile do you fall under? Do tell.
Long pony-tail-wearing, sunglassed, bearded driver, apparently. They actually went out.of tbeir way to.tell me.the.pony tail was not a factor.in their pulling.me over. The.manufactured probable cause was I got "too close to the driver in from of you after.seeing us.alongside the road."
I was asked directly whether I had been smoking.marijuana and told my eyes were.bloodshot.
I just made a composite of you:
http://simpsonswiki.com/wiki/Hippie
That's close, but my hairline is (thankfully!) much further forward and blond.
Usually I Iook uncannily like The Dude but I've been growing the.hair.out for a couple of years.
Oh, and I was wearing a sweatshirt that reads: "FLYING: Drugs Would Have Been Cheaper."
Bet the TSA loves that.
Maybe I'll wear it when I.fly commercial this.weekend.
..."Manufactured probable cause and everything."
Driving while legal?
details (I have a relative in the patrol)
"reasonable suspicion"
I've been Terry stopped more times than I have fingers and toes.
Wait, you're black?
No, I walk a lot in places where I don't look like I should belong. I rarely get pulled over while driving.
I almost never get pulled over unless I'm really speeding (I credit the BMW for both the infrequency of getting pulled over and the tendency to.drive.very fast). Today I was.in a rented Focus and d4iving the speed.limit (I always obey.speed limits when I'm driving for.work).
Man, the word traitor seems really easy to throw out.
"Grr, I'm a doughy, tough-talking, middle-aged guy! Real tough!"
What enemy did he aid and comfort?
Did that cocksucker just call me the enemy?
84% certainty he's not a cocksucker. I'd guess picks up questionably aged girls who are hitchhiking, but that's purely idle speculation.
Wait a minute. Are we allowed to use cocksucker as a general insult again?
I.still have a problem with.it. cocksuckers are doing.God's work.in the.worst neighborhoods.in.America.
Does it mean something other than "bad because you are a guy who sucks on other guys' dicks"?
I don't think the average woman would consider being called a "filthy cocksucker" to be a warm fuzzy, either.
But I could be wrong!
Yes. But it's almost exclusively used as a derogatory for men. It's used to impugn manliness and imply homosexuality (gasp!). It only works with an underlying cultural assumption that men who suck cock are less than men who don't.
I feel you.
I think of it in the way of a guy who does it even though he isn't gay and doesn't like it but does it to please some other twisted freak - as in an Obama fluffer (like shreik).
But then I don't use it so much in contexts where that might not be clear.
i can honestly say I never considered it a gendered insult, or an anti gay thing ever.
It just has good meter and good consonants as far as insults go. And now that it seems that it's being attacked from an anti-PC angle, I might have to go out of my way to use it more.
not that I'm calling you PC jesse
Does "bitch" mean female dog or is a "bastard" really a fatherless child? Or do they just mean "asshole" now?
Bastard was a serious insult when legitimacy of heirs was still important. It's an incredibly minor insult now.
Bitch still implies that a woman is unruly and aggressive.
Are you offended by cocksucker? If so, I'll stop using it.
I'm not offended by it (or faggot for that matter). They've been used in contexts where the tone and intention have made me really uncomfortable, but the words themselves are just words.
I will say I usually think less of people who use words like "gay" "faggot" or "cocksucker" freely as insults. It's tacky, not offensive.
Gotcha.
You should roll your own, anyway. Nothing's sweeter than a bespoke compound curse word that rolls off the tongue.
"Cuntbutter"'s one of my favorites.
Were we ever not? I didn't get the memo.
"Aid and comfort to the American people"!
And he's glad the information came out, but the person who gave us the info is a traitor!
Prediction: By the end of the segment Gilmore calls Kennedy a traitor.
"Grr, Fact is a magic word! I say "fact" a lot, so you know I've got facts!"
"I'm in favor of the freedoms of the United States, just not behavior that might actually preserve that."
Yet another Independents brain picking interview. The Independents need to buy a grill.
GEORGE FOREMAN!
"I'm in favor of the freedoms of the people of the United States, I'm just not willing to do anything about it."
What's the deal with Putin?
I love pussy ass whiners like this guy. Traitor this, mother fucker.
Okay, this a-hole is going to weasel out of answering directly for the rest of the interview.
I wonder if K-Mart Fred Thompson ever thought that Snowden ran because the last NSA whistleblower had to spend millions in court battles?
That's the greatest description of this douchebag ever.
You're gonna preserve my freedoms, scumbag?
I always thought Lindsay Graham's boyfriend would have been more attractive.
Preserve freedoms by abusing them!
Does it really matter that Al Qaeda knows the NSA is spying on Americans?
How, governor, without an Edward Snowden, would we have any of the things you're pretending to want?
Snake bites man, man drinks beer, man bites snake back.
At least Welch asked some tough questions, unfortunately giving an opportunity for a light moment with the shower comment.
"It was necessary to destroy the 4th amendment in order to save it."
"Move to NY- We won't tax the shit out of you for couple of years- maybe- if you qualify."
Commander Crestor, we are about to land on the planet Lipitor!
? Ground Control to Major Clot...
This is a propaganda song, and it's very good. Can you ever imagine libertarians coming up with something like this? No you can't. Firstoff libertarians have asperger's and can't relate to people. Secondly, left-libertarianism is an inherently anti-human ideology. It is neither nationalistic nor egalitarian, but based on assuring that a capitalistic elite are allowed to act without regard to their fellow men. This is why libertarians have NO CHANCE.
What would you say is a "nationalist" version of that song? It is true, I suppose, that libertarians can't make a song like that because libertarianism isn't based on blaming entire groups for people's problems. "The government" can be blamed but who runs the government?
Box jellyfish
Annnnnnd Kennedy is now dead to Kibby.
Wait, I was taking the dog out. What happened?
She flatly stated she hates cats and think they are evil.
!!!!! I feel that way about small dogs, so...she is forgiven.
Please, please Kennedy and Moynihan, don't do Australian accents.
Too late.
Foster's. It's Australian for beer. And Independents for absent.
After trying it once I'm convinced that Fosters's is Australian for piss.
As I understand it XXXX is how antipodeans spell "lager".
So what's Moynihan been up to lately? Has he gone full Weigel or not? I mean I did like his attacks on Commies but that seemed to be all he wrote about...
Based on the commercials, a typical viewer is a middle-aged person with a failing business, high cholesterol, and a termite-infested house.
Fox Business- Number 1 with suicidal salesmen!
That guy's going to have a hard time living that down. Being held hostage by a cat.
Also, I guess cops only shoot dogs.
Drown the cat.
I'm ashamed at how many times I've gotten wasted on airplanes.
I've always aimed for getting wasted before plane. But not so much I can't make it on plane.
Not ashamed.
I'm never wasted before boarding but these days I generally start pounding them down once drinks are served.
I am ashamed how many times I did not get wasted on flights in the past.
Huffing jet fuel straight out of the tank?
I would be ashamed if I could stand to fly sober. I can't remember the last time I didn't get wasted on an airplane.
why the shame? flying sucks. get as close as you can to being un-boardable. That's my policy. At least on the way back.
Moynihan looks like he's dying of consumption.
It's the lack of sugar, yes?
That or the heroin.
Definitely that, now that you remind me.
He's a vampire, ain't he? I'd say lack of female blood.
I'm your huckleberry
You know, Welch does often look like he just stepped off the set of Mad Men.
I fail to understand what is remotely wrong with this.
Run and fetch me a scotch. [Slaps kibby on the ass]
Sure thing! Let me just sprinkle some rat poison in there for you...
Make mine a Mickey Slim
Gladly!
You strike me as more of arsenic kind of girl. Classical, but effective.
Arsenic & old lace, baby!
+1 Lucrezia Borgia
The only thing more classic is using a cobra, but it's tough to fit a venomous snake into a Tom Collins and still have room for ice.
Moynihan: "I've had four already, and I'm still completely cognizant and talking on television"
GOOBLE GOBBLE ONE OF US
Uh, Kennedy, that was racist as shit, calling Kmele a warlord.
"YOU! Sub Saharan, can you have 150 child warriors here by 5:00pm?"
We're no strangers to photoshop
You doctor you photo, as I do mine...
Moynihan is drunk. Just not Irish drunk.
Aren't all Irish people drunk?
You never know an Irishman is drunk until one day he comes to work sober.
Wait, is Irish drunk less drunk than standard drunk? I would've thought more what with generations of evolution backing it up.
Much much more.
"Yew myde 'im drunk. Wee'll maig 'im Oyrish Drunk."
? ? ?
^ This
Same level of drunk, much longer road to get there.
It's not the destination, it's the journey, man.
I'm pretty sure saying you feel like an African warlord is racist because derp.
No, it's fucking hilarious!
"I'm Trace Adkins here for Wounded Warriors- ? Ooooh, like Roc- sorry, wrong commercial."
I thought all Irish people carry shillelaghs and smash grapefruit in women's faces?
You Know Who Else supports Irish People being Violent?
It's a flyover state, Moynihan.
John McCain is the Barney Fife of naval aviation. He destroyed 3 jets stateside before going to Vietnam, where he destroyed another. He has the dubious distinction of being the country's first and only Reverse Ace.
I thought the count was five if you count the plane he parked in that lake in Hanoi.
Independent Attire Review, 11 March 2014
- Kennedy: Tealtastic! We've been so far deprived of much in the way of 'fabric variation', and the silk blouse is a nice sensual counterpoint to Friday's celebration of Kennedy's acres of melanoma-free epidermis. For reasons no colorist can explain without LSD and crayons, this shade of green/blue Does Not turn Kennedy into one of the Eternal Undead, which is a +
- Matt: Smack me with a lamb chop! As happens when both the Month and Day-date are both prime numbers, Matt has managed to combine a shirt with a tie in a manner failing to violate even one basic accepted principle of taste. A Triumvirate! jacket joins the unexpected-symbiosis of shirt and tie in a chorus of harmony. Huzzah! But lo -? Does Matt take home the elusive prize..... first we must look to....
- Moynihan: We now suspect that Fox has integrated new Flesh-Tone-enhancing technology into their studio cameras. Either that, or "Remove 1 Kmele, and suddenly everyone else looks *Ethnic*" Regardless! He looks great. My feeling here is that you can score far greater points in the Independents Attire game by establishing Low Expectations, as Mike has, then suddenly coming out of nowhere with a superb and banging ensemble, versus doing "The Kmele", and leaving people (well, me) constantly looking for *mistakes*
And the winner...
Sorry Matt = Moynihan gets the prize with the unexpected bomb-assery. You just failed to fuck up again.
Thank You.
I lost it at this.
**INDEPENDENTS**
We all need proof readers...
What angry irishmen look like
Liam Neeson?
also this guy
Poor Obama. He doesn't have a wall to demo.
Kennedy, if Matt wanted your opinion, he'd tell it to you.
Now there's only you and me and we just disagree.
Just think if her middle name was Cleveland instead...
If I see one more goddamn commercial for "Naked and Afraid" I'm going to find those people and send a lion after them
The sunburn on their privates is punishment enough.
Do you speak from experience on this?
I wish. I'm just assuming.
Which, by the way? WAS AN AMAZING MOVIE called, 'The Naked Prey' (1966)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHtMF_QQ0gA
if you've never seen it.... DAMN!!! its an A+, slamming, kickass, rock & roll movie. I've wanted to call myself "Cornell Wilde" for years now, and be the (even more!) hippest guy in hipstertown.
Plus, you can make bets on how each threat to the guys life will resolve itself. Its a game on so many levels.
I think the word 'concerned' is an odd one to put in your group's name.
I've lost the stream!
Aren't you a bit young to be having prostate issues?
need to get more flomax
Find a reliable urologist
That way you can't cross them.
Are Vodka7's a pussy drink? Asking for a friend.
Is your "friend" afraid of becoming a girl drink drunk?
maybe
Why on earth would you drink that when Tom Collins-es are a thing?
A friend of mine had to start ordering "Gin Collins" because bartenders kept bringing out a vodka collins whenever she ordered a Tom Collins.
That's justifiable homicide right there.
Our college cafe had a decent patty melt. One day I order it and it's on white bread. I glared at the guy and asked "What the fuck is this?" He looked ashamed and told me that so many people got upset when it came with rye that they defaulted to white now. He was pleased that someone liked things done right and made sure I got a patty melt on rye for the rest of my time in college.
jesse.in.mb|3.11.14 @ 10:37PM|#
"Our college cafe had a decent patty melt."
Does not exist in this universe.
So go back and string up the cocksucking prosecutors. Lying, immoral sacks of shits. Interview those assholes.
It is better that ten innocent persons suffer than that one prosecutor's resume suffer.
I note: This guy mark hyden? He dresses in a way that is the kind of "error free" formula that Matt should be PROUD he's never even come close to.
It suggest a complete absence of personality.
I used to work with these people. They hated me, obviously.
Keeping it Kmele without Kmele? Pre-recorded?
The Old Testament has false accusers getting the same punishment they wanted to give to the victim. Let's go all Israelite on these prosecutors.
Sounds good to me. Either that or just nutpunches, all the time.
The theme song guitar diddy sounds like it came out of video game.
Obama Visiting GAP an obnoxious political stunt. Why should today be any different than any other day?
Oh, snap? I need to do a Kmele addendum?
Fuck I hope he's wearing a sweater.
I'll help these people out. They're paying for a shit ton of real estate they're not efficiently utilizing.
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Pour my beer down the sink I've got more in the trunk.
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Fuck you, I'm drunk
And I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm drunk!
Here's one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMdlsej5F5A
Notice that even as this song is obviously directed at men, it is filled with pictures of pretty women and teenage girls. This has been a tactic used throughout history, recall the world war one "white rose" girls. And it's another tactic that libertarians simply can't use, and they know it.
Chicks wearing swastikas and giving National Socialist salutes?
Didn't watch the whole thing - were there any women in SS uniforms carrying whips?
So did anyone see The Campaign with Zach Whathisname and Will Ferrell? Wasn't it the most important film of its year for showing how politicians suck or was it another shitty Will Ferrell comedy?
I think I made it about four minutes before remembering how much I dislike Will Ferrell.
Who was the last SNL "star" who didn't have a punchable face? I mean we also have Seth Myers and that guy who did McGruber.
It featured the sinister Motch Brothers.
Lew Rockwell must have been pleased.
It shows that both parties are beholden to special interests, but ultimately Citizens United is responsible for the corruption today because it enables the billionaire Koch Brothers to turn the US into China.
So Capitalists will turn the US into China huh? I thought it was the Commies who did that.
Also isn't one the left's biggest problems their belief that we need Big Government to save us from the KKKORPORASHUNS? Nevermind that whatever power corporations have is due to the government and that they think want to give more power to a government they already think is being run by corporations?
Makin' It Michael.
My parents keep the closed captioning on & I haven't turned it off yet...it's definitely spelling Kmele as "Kmeal". I'm dying.
It's pronounced "Camille," isn't it? Why not spell it that way?
Because closed captioning is RACIST.
It's a Black thing.
Hey- NY is offering temporary, tax free zones! There's nothing businesses love more than complicated, temporary rules that change if you move a couple miles!
And then change again at the whim of some asshole wearing a tie.
Moynihan went around the bend on one of the breaks prior to Keepin it Kmele...
Yea, he's fucking wasted.
I respect him much more for that.
Moynihan is an adequate replacement.
No, he's horrible. Back to the bench!!
I bet you most of those apples slices go uneaten. Most of them are bad anyway. My kid eats well enough and isn't interested in eating fucking apples with her cheeseburger.
Michelle's crusade is nonsense.
It's a farm subsidy.
Fucking apples are too sour for me.
The more sour my fruit, the bitter the coffee or drink, the better for me!
Anyway, they end up floating around in my fridge until the next time we clean it out. Because, you know, we buy our own fresh apples. There are plenty of orchards around here so I usually take my daughter to pick some up.
AH! Lou Dobbs.
aah, Lou Dobbs.
That's the 'Cool Jazz' version
Also - I want to give a special award to tonight's show for having all three panelists wearing *complementary* clothes.
Teal.gold, black.pink.red, grey.white.blue
BOOM! Magic.
Is gold close enough to orange?
"Also - I want to give a special award to tonight's show for having all three panelists wearing *complementary* clothes."
So when does your collection hit the runway?
I've been holding out for a post-apocalyptic scenario to really make best use of my talents with raw materials.
So, the Autumn Collection?
Nuclear Winter
I could rock that look. You should do it!
I forget if you watch Archer or not, but last night's episode featured a running gag where Archer takes Ray and Cyril to Colombia to sell drugs and Ray is frustrated that he only knows Latin instead of Spanish.
Sounds like something you'd find amusing.
Opened with a poem.
Cole Porter, actually. Anything Goes and I'd like to see Matt sing 'You're the Top!'
Did he praise Mussolini or sing it in Mandarin before going to a Thugee Temple in India before marrying Steven Speilberg?
I just want to say for posterity's sake that I went to that 'livestream' site once before on the wrong night and had to listen to Kennedy's rerun of dumbass oil remarks that should have been purged from the history books.
Wardrobe malfunction.
http://video.foxbusiness.com/v.....show-clips
Also, I think I just posted DOOOBBBBBBZZZZ!!!!! on some other thread. Fuckin windows.
Aw, Matt. Sometimes you're so adorable you make me forget all the stupid shit that pours out of your mouth about certain subjects.
Moynihan is so completely classist. Or racist. I can't tell.
Er Awkward Moment on TV!?
How can that even happen on an *aftershow*?
"How long you been off the sauce?"
At least like 3 or 4 days.
Moynihan is falling apart.
He's got the giggles bad.
"One time during Prohibition I survived for three days on nothing but bread and water." -- W. C. Fields
On finding the cork loose in the wine bottle:
'Hey! Who opened my lunch?!'
W. C. F., along about SLO driving north to SF.
I guess "dick" is okay in the livestream.
When a story ends with the taking of one's dick out at an Arby's, it was a good night.
But that means you were at an Arby's...
Felt like that kind of night.
Speaking of colossal train wrecks, the guy next to the bearded dude? He might drink decent whiskey, but three button suits have to fucking DIE, please. Also = sideburns. NEIN. VERBOTTEN.
Baaaaaaa! Baaaaaaaaaaa!
When you see it, you'll shit bricks.
I'm hoping for deleted comments, banned IPs and a stern lecture from the Editors.
Don't bring up your sobriety if you don't questions about it.
Bed calls. I'll have to drink with Moynihan another night. Goodnight.
Amherst was his safety rehab.
I love how Moynihan was like, "You have *insurance*?"
Also +1 Matt for hating on kokomo
Way to bring the downer kennedy
Good night to one and all.
Until the morning.
When Shows Don't End
It's time for all to bugger off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrXP5zoFxss
What was that? It just cut off to a black screen of silence right in the middle of someone talking.
My first time watching. does it always end that way? Sucked into another dimension without warning?
Just get a nice Southern gal to exorcise your TV for you. Watch out for ancient Indian burial grounds.
You WATCHED the thing? For what" Gilmore's style bitching?
No Comments at 10:50 PM EDT? I thought we were all a bunch of libertines?
I'm still blowing lines off the ark of the covenant and feeding orphans to alligators, if it makes you feel any better.
Why are you feeding them to alligators instead of making orphanscuitto out of them?
Apparently this thread is the only other place on the internet where orphanscuitto exists.
I swear there was another thread where we talked about making hoboscuitto in large storage closets, but I can't find it so we must have spelled hoboscuitto differently.
I rather doubt that.
"I rather doubt that."
I'm sure he and his family do, too.
The prosecuting team ought to at least be at his beck and call until the end of his years:
'Hey, twit! Get your sorry ass over here and shine these shoes! I want to be able to shave in the reflection, boy! Do you understand that?'
EVERY DAY.
I'd be happy with an investigation into whether they withheld evidence, which from my scant reading seems possible, followed by a summary execution as a warning to others.
Prosecutors are bureaucrats with a law degree. Perhaps they're not all soulless, resume-padding cynics or time-serving hacks, but the profession lends itself well to either.
Pour encourager les autres.
Needz moar bacon.
Don't talk shit about bikini bridges.
So could sound replace sugar?
So this Daily Show segment is not making Napolitano look good. It's him and the Daily Show's female black correspondent--who is dressed as Lincoln--answering questions about the Civil War while being fact checked by a panel of history professors.
Needless to say the panel contradicts everything the Judge says and the black correspondent gets her digs in.
What exactly were you expecting?
I wasn't quite expecting the faux-game show format they did, but certainly Napolitano should have known better.
He probably thought he'd have a chance at rebuttal, but Stewart isn't about to let someone prove he's an imbecile on his own show.
He's very good at knowing his audience though. That segment was tailor-made to make liberals feel smart and give them a smug sense of superiority over libertarians.
Well they need some form of validation in life, even if it's completely fake.
Grand Moff Serious Man|3.11.14 @ 11:44PM|#
"He's very good at knowing his audience though."
Yeah, and Hitchens played it back to him.
Apologies: It was on Maher's show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HECI4QK_mXA
If the Judge was repeating the same stuff he was when the Daily Show had that bit where they criticized him, then he only has himself to blame for promoting bad history.
I agree that his views are untenable, but I dislike Stewart hiding behind the historian panel when he normally does these guest interviews one on one.
Sure, I agree. But Napolitano is shooting himself in the foot, and making libertarians as a group look bad while doing it
Re: Calidissident,
"As a group"?
Yes, as a group. Many people will extend their negative perception to the political ideology Napolitano belongs to. That might not be fair, but that's life.
Re: Calidissident,
"Bad history" as in "shameful what these people did back then", or are you a Lincoln apologist?
I mean this as an honest question, OM, but how can you consider any government that sanctions slavery a legitimate government?
The United States Federal government lost the consent of the Southern states but the Southern states that formed the Confederacy did not have the consent of the slaves they held in bondage.
I'm not accusing him of bad history because he doesn't like Lincoln. I'm doing it because 1) He's promoting historical inaccuracies in making his argument 2) His argument isn't consistent - he said that slavery wasn't the cause of the war, and then asked "why did we need to fight a war to end slavery when we could have done X instead?" 3) In addition I find his casual dismissal of the costs of "letting slavery die on its own" to be repugnant, and IMO it's hypocritical given his views on the Revolutionary War, for example.
So it wasn't a live interview? Something pretaped?
The show is always pre-taped, but the segment wasn't a normal one-on-one interview.
It was essentially the Judge versus the smart-ass black correspondent and a panel of historians that were obviously eager to contradict his views.
At the end a caption directed viewers to the Daily Show website to see the full segment, but it isn't up yet.
"At the end a caption directed viewers to the Daily Show website to see the full segment, but it isn't up yet."
Managing the impressions? Why would I suspect that slimy Stewart to do that?
Re: Grand Moff Serious Man,
Or eager to simply lie, like when the Judge said (correctly) that federal marshalls were still returning fugitive slaves to their owners during the Civil War and they all said at unison that "it wasn't true". In fact, it is true - federal marshalls were still following the Fugitive Slave Act in favor of the few slaver states that were still loyal to the union.
*hangs head*
Of course.
Chelsea Handler and Piers Morgan
Why oh why oh why
Amazing to see two of my least favorite people in the world on the same show together. It's like a magical shit.