DOJ to Release Details on Time FISA Court Caught NSA Breaking the Law

Good idea. Try tricking them by spelling key words wrong on purpose.Credit: Michael Fleshman / Foter / CC BY-NCAt today’s press conference, President Barack Obama, trying to play all sides, insisted that the government’s oversight of the National Security Agency’s all above the board and works perfectly, though he magnanimously understands that we might be suspicious and also worry that future presidents (not him, of course) might not be as benevolent as he. So he’s promising more transparency, whatever that will ultimately mean.

Despite his assurances, we know there’s already been at least one incident where the NSA’s snooping was deemed unconstitutional by the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, or at least not in “compliance” with policies that are supposed to protect our privacy. The Electronic Frontier Foundation has been suing to get more information about this incident. It was referred to in reports that Director of National Intelligence James Clapper declassified at the end of July, though it was significantly redacted and very vague.

While the press conference was still happening, The Electronic Frontier Foundation posted that they’ve received notification from the Department of Justice that they will be producing the requested documents in nine days. They’ll be redacted, of course, so we will just have to see how much information we get about how serious this violation was. Read the DOJ status report at the EFF here (pdf).

For those who missed it yesterday, Reason TV sat down with the plaintiffs of another NSA lawsuit connected to the Electronic Frontier Foundation:

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  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    Guess who said this:

    'At the end of the day it's about people and trust ... if they misuse that trust they can cause huge damage.'

  • Dweebston||

    Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez?

  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    Not a bad guess, but no.

  • A Serious Man||

    Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    I'll give you a hint. He was talking about sysadmins of all people.

  • A Serious Man||

    General Keith Alexander.

  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    Without a hint of irony in fact.

  • Dweebston||

  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    God it just about killed me when that show ended. Four lousy six-episode seasons and done!

    Now I'm hanging out with Bubbles, Ricky and Julian. Until they too abandon me.

  • Paul.||

    Barack Obama?

  • Mr Whipple||

    Ooooo, ooooooooo,

    was it this guy?

    Former NSA and CIA chief Gen. Michael Hayden speculated on Tuesday that hackers and transparency groups would turn to cyberterror attacks if the United States captured NSA leaker Edward Snowden. He went on to dismiss Snowden supporters as “nihilists, anarchists, activists, Lulzsec, Anonymous, twenty-somethings who haven’t talked to the opposite sex in five or six years.”

    (emphasis added)

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/.....-community

  • jester||

    The Department of Just(trust)Us?

  • Rock Action||

    "What's also true is we show a restraint that many governments around the world don't even think to do, refuse to show." - Barack Obama, Aug. 9, 2013

    Many is such a nebulous little word, isn't it?

  • Dweebston||

    Isn't that just icing on the fuck-you cake. I don't care what many governments do, I care what your government does. What kind of apologia is that? "Just be glad we're not doing worse you haven't figured out how much worse we're doing"? No, you narcissistic twat, I'm not grateful that your intelligence apparatus is only overstepping these bounds today, because if the tacit expectation of privacy wasn't enough to prevent this creepy surveillance-state bullshit in the first place, your mere word that it goes no further, especially given your obfuscations in the past, means absolutely nothing.

  • Rock Action||

    That's exactly what I thought when I heard it. My next favorite was his next line, whereby he said we had more privacy rights than some of "our most vocal critics."

    Who? China? The United Arab Emirates? Saudi Arabia? I mean, holy shit, man. He was in full disingenuous, I-love-what-language-can do-for-me lawyer mode today, for sure.

  • Dweebston||

    We are their most vocal critics. I'm more convinced with every new development that we don't have a host-parasite relationship with our pols, it's occupiers-occupied. They would never manage it but for the unbelievable case of Stockholm Syndrome permeating the citizenry.

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    All that as Murdering Nazi Barack can't wait to get back to his kill list and hit the launch button. All about the children, he grins as more 3-year-olds are incinerated by USSA attack drones

  • Hyperion||

    I commented on this in the press conference thread earlier today.

    Just because North Korea or Saudi Arabia are worse violators of civil rights than the US, we are now supposed to feel better?

    'Oh, over there in one of those Koreas, they rip peoples toenails out, just for the fun of it. But we're only going to rip your toenails out, if we think it's for a good reason.'

  • Rock Action||

    Ah, cool. Didn't see it, but I turned the press conference on and it immediately jumped out at me. Ridiculous.

  • Rock Action||

    Didn't see your comment, that is.

  • Hyperion||

    I just wanted to comment again, because calling out the liar in chief, never gets old.

  • Hyperion||

    Also, enjoyed your comment.

  • In Time Of War||

    America-land of the somewhat freer...

  • cw||

    There's a reason it's a weasel word. Obama's one big fucking weasel.

  • MJGreen||

    Holy fuck, he said that?

    Total parody. Hey, we choose not to fuck you over as badly as some other places. We can if we want, but we aren't. So how about some gratitude?

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    "You should be thanking me!"

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    What's Obama doing??? This all has to be kept secret because the terrorists didn't suspect we were reading their emails and listening to their phone messages before this. But now they're going to know!

    (And by terrorists I of course mean Americans.)

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    It has to be kept secret because leaks would infringe on Obama's [the GOVT's] right to continue to criminally violate the privacy of the citizens......and around and around and around......and the terrorists might win, or something.....

  • Hugh Akston||

    So, any bets on what percentage of these documents will be redacted? Any bets that we're gonna get another one of these?

  • Almanian!||

    100% chance. The only question is whether they look like your sample or not.

  • Render Unto Caesar||

    That's pretty creepy. Haven't seen that one before.

  • Hugh Akston||

    yep, that's only the most blatant Fuck You in an administration who has made Fuck You a motto and an art form.

  • Render Unto Caesar||

    Well said and true.

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    [..................REDACTED.. ....................................F ...........u.............C..................k ...Y........ ..........O..... ...........u....]

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    Not to be pedantic about the title of the post here, but FISA is a law which does not 'catch' anyone. As the body of the post says it is the FISC which 'caught' the NSA to be in violation of FISA.

  • Scott S.||

    I added "Court," which I left out by accident.

  • Loki||

    Not to be pedantic

    Not to be an asshole, but anytime I see a post start with the phrase "not to be pedantic" it's a sure bet that what follows is going to be some sort of pedantic ranting. Just like starting a post with "not to be an asshole" is a sure sign that what follows is going to be asshole-ish. Wait...

  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    Nice.

  • Ted S.||

    With all due respect, Loki,....

    :-p

  • Mr Whipple||

    Not to be a dick, but, you seem to be a pedantic asshole.

  • Marc F Cheney||

    "Not to be pedantic"?

    I used to think you were Tulpa, but the difference is that Tulpa is contrarian, while you're pedantic. Apart from that, you're both annoying as shit, of course.

  • Hyperion||

    So he’s promising more transparency, whatever that will ultimately mean

    Let me translate.

    We're still going to violate the hell out of your civil rights, and piss all over the 4th amendment. But we're going to explain it in a way to you that sounds better.

    It's just the same old shit from the Obama admin. The sheeples just need it splained to them in some simple language that they can understand, so then they will like the abuse.

  • Mr Whipple||

    O/T

    And then there's this asshole

    http://www.salon.com/2013/08/0.....newsletter

  • Hyperion||

    All you had to do was say Salon and we would have assumed the asshole part.

  • Mr Whipple||

    It's Michael Lind. You remember him, right? He had his ass handed to him several times, already, in the past.

    http://reason.com/archives/201.....-liberty-a

  • Hyperion||

    But! There are lots of Libertarian countries. For instance, North Korea and Somalia!

    To be a Libertarian country, all you need are no roads and a government that doesn't put people in prison for using drugs!

  • Boisfeuras||

    But! There are lots of Libertarian countries. For instance, North Korea and Somalia!

    To be a Libertarian country, all you need are no roads and a government that doesn't put people in prison for using drugs!

    North Korea just executes them.

  • Hugh Akston||

    God Dammit People Quit Linking to Fucking Retarded Salon Articles!

  • Mr Whipple||

    You know, I signed up for email updates from them back when Greenwald wrote for them.

    How did he ever write for such a liberal rag POS?

  • Hyperion||

    Greenwald is one of the people who had a brain and finally decided to start using it when he realized what is really happening.

  • juris imprudent||

    "Just one thin mint."

  • Acosmist||

    It's adorable that he thinks he's discovering some lost text. NR didn't like Rand? SHOCKER!!! Except this was a huge deal and anyone who knows about the history of NR knows that.

  • Boisfeuras||

    Research for a Salon writer apparently does not include reading the relevant Wikipedia article.

  • Mr Whipple||

    Fucking A. Nice find.

  • A Serious Man||

    I notice that whenever a left-winger attacks Ayn Rand they end becoming the very caricatures she attacked in her novels. Consider:

    The mentality of Ayn Rand, as described by Chambers back in 1957 in the pages of the leading conservative magazine, is remarkably similar to the mentality of the Tea Party right that seeks to sabotage government (as Rand’s heroes sabotage the economy), no matter the consequences for the nation

    See? He's taking the position that John Galt and company had an obligation to serve government and that their strike was them sabotaging it even though it sabotaged itself in much the same manner Detroit has.

    If Lind didn't skim through Atlas Shrugged he probably viewed Mouch as the hero.

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    Mr Obama as Mr Thompson. That's a perfect cardboard cutout.

  • Hyperion||

    NBC News released some coverage of dear leaders speech. It was the usual fawning fluff. They also stated that there was an NBC/WSJ poll that shows only 11% of Americans have a positive opinion of Edward Snowden.

    The NBC/WSJ poll was conducted July 17-21 of 1,000 adults (including 300 cell phone-only respondents), and it has an overall margin of error of plus-minus 3.1 percentage points

    Who the fuck did they call? Employees of the NSA and members of the Obama admin? I call total bullshit on this bullshit poll.

  • cw||

    Yeah, I could have sworn that the U.S. public is largely unsure of what to think of Snowden and his actions.

    I call bullshit, too.

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    Agreed, bullshit. They called using the Obama-reelection-campaign member list. And 11% of Obama ass lickers are pro-Snowden.

  • Invisible Finger||

    The other 89% hung up the phone immediately.

  • A Serious Man||

    I'm still waiting for that Zimmerman suit to come through. Not only do I wish to see NBC bankrupted, but I'd love to see them forced to issue a retraction and apology for doctoring the 911 tape.

  • Dweebston||

    "If Edward Snowden, the individual charged with treason against the United States Government, murderaped your unborn foetus, would your attitude toward this cowardly Russian spy be unfavorable, combative, or whole legitimate antipathy?

  • Dweebston||

    ^"

  • Hyperion||

    If you're one of those Randian Libertarians types, that would just make you like him more.

  • Dweebston||

    I guess that accounts for the 11%.

    Hah! Jay kay, there's no way Rand has 11% favorability just yet.

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    An unnamed Administration source leaked this:

    "There are rumors that journalist Greenwald is gay, so he can't possibly be a real journalist. So this undermines Snowden's credibility and proves his guilt. Kidnap him and send him to Gitmo where he can be revenge-raped by Obama and his administration 'members' and peed on by Janet, Hillary and Diane."

  • PS wanders the Wasteland||

    Positive opinion? I don't have a positive opinion of Greenwald, in general, but he's totally right on this.

  • Aresen||

    DOJ to Release Details on Time FISA Caught NSA Breaking the Law

    'Breaking the Law' and 'Violating Constitutional Rights' are two entirely different things.

  • cw||

    They shouldn't be. The Constitution is the highest law in the land, no matter what statutes the Congress passes or rules the executive agencies make.

    I'm convinced we live in a lawless society now.

  • Hyperion||

    I'm convinced we live in a lawless society now

    Oh, there are plenty of laws. Everything is illegal for us peon serfs, whenever our rulers what it to be. Nothing is illegal for them.

  • cw||

    And that's what I mean by lawless: the rule of law only exists if everyone is below it. If not, we have rule of man.

  • Dweebston||

    Not lawless in the anarchic sense; at least in anarchy, the law of the jungle prevails. No, we're mediated by the law of political expedience, which is altogether more unpredictable.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    “The more laws, the less justice.”

  • Mr Whipple||

    Not to be a dick but, anarchy is not lawlessness.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmXDrm5Q-eQ

  • Loki||

    we know there’s already been at least one incident where the NSA’s snooping was deemed unconstitutional by the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court

    Jeez, what were they doing that even the FISA rubber-stamp wielders said no?

    The Electronic Frontier Foundation posted that they’ve received notification from the Department of Justice that they will be producing the requested documents in nine days. They’ll be redacted, of course

    How much you want to bet this ends up being another case of the entire document being redacted. Either that or the redacted portions will be cleverly arranged so that the blacked out portions form a big middle finger.

  • cw is now Libertarivs||

    What is it, like, less than one percent of warrant requests the FISC turns down?

  • juris imprudent||

    They'd have to reject a whole bunch to get up to 1%.

  • Cdr Lytton||

    one incident where the NSA’s snooping was deemed unconstitutional by the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, or at least not in “compliance” with policies that are supposed to protect our privacy

    Did they forget to phrase their answer in the form of a question the first time and have to repeat their request? Or did they just go ahead without "authorization"?

  • Dweebston||

    The FISC clerk used the wrong stamp, which is weird because the FISC never ordered "denied" stamps.

    The clerk has since been reprimanded for using unauthorized office equipment, so it's all sorted now.

  • ||

    I'm sick of all this pussy-footing around. Let's get to the heart of the matter, which as I see it, is this: in a wholly libertarian society, would it be acceptable to murder the homeless, then skin them and caper about in their still-glistening flesh? I notice Reason has been dodging this question for some time now.

  • cw is now Libertarivs||

    It's certainly one of the most pressing questions of our time.

  • Hyperion||

    I'm sure that you meant to write the word bureaucrat instead of homeless...

  • ||

    Well since I'm talking about an already totally minarchist/anarchist society, the bureaucrats would be making up an enormous portion of the homeless.

  • Hyperion||

    Since there is probably no way for them to transition to a non-parasitical way of life, you're probably right.

  • Jordan||

    Of course not. That's a waste of perfectly good slave labor for the monocle factories.

  • Hyperion||

    We prefer orphans to polish our monocles. Their little hands are more nimble.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    But orphanscuitto is more delicious than hoboscuitto. Make the hobos work and fatten the orphans up for the slaughter.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    hoboscuitto is people!

  • Killazontherun||

    Exactly. And not only is orphanscuitto delicious, is just children. Thrown away ones at that! You wont even miss them.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    This is why we need to make the hobos work. If orphans become valuable as workers the cost of orphanscuitto will go up. I already spend too much on endangered white rhino pate, I don't need the cost of orphanscuitto to rise as well.

  • Killazontherun||

    Sadly, I handed my monocle to a hobo to clean once. He spent about a minute drinking whiskey from his flask and belching grotesquely. Then he used his own saliva to clean my monocle! Of course, I had to have him shot. It's just not the same.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    As the homeless would be on someone's personal property in a wholly libertarian society the answer is that it's allowable but not acceptable as the homeless can be made to serve as slave labor.

  • Marc F Cheney||

    Suggest you corner Welch, ask him point blank, and post the answer to YouTube.

  • Hyperion||

    I've been thinking about tracking the increase/decrease in the popularity of H&R.

    I can tell that it's not popular enough yet, because the government hasn't directly attacked it and tried to shut it down.

    Anyway, I wonder how much the number of daily posts have increased over the past few years? It seems to me that there are more posts than there used to be. Not sure if that means there are more posters, or just more trolls. But overall, there doesn't seem to me, to be more trolls than there were when I first started lurking here several years ago. I think there are actually less troll postings than before.

  • ||

    One word: registration.

    Which I thought was hilarious when a few of the old ones showed up to crow about how that demonstrated the "failure" of minimalist control theories. Because nothing is analogous to government control like a private party regulating itself for the benefit of it's members.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Well to be fair, it did fail in the sense that you're still allowed to post here.

  • ||

    And to be fair, you live in California, right?

    BURN!!!

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    Where's WI when you need him? Or lone whacko? Or Obama the jaunty golfer? Or Socialism is Murder? Or the real Tony -- not the recent swizzle-stick treacly sock-puppet version? SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    CHRISTFAG.......KOCHSUCKER

  • Hyperion||

    Well, there were a few issues with no registration, like crayon constantly impersonating other posters.

    I'm favor of registration just because of issues like that. There are few places left online where you can say pretty much anything you want without getting banned, outside of right here.

  • Almanian!||

    There were more posts when Virginia Postrel was around.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    And roughly twice the number of women.

  • Hyperion||

    And what do you attribute this loss of wiminz to? They found out what was in Libertarianism?

  • Dweebston||

    I'm fairly certain that's not what runs of women. I'm pretty sure it runs off bigots like yourself.

  • NSA Arthur||

    why do you always bring it up

  • Lady Bertrum||

    "Probably when they discovered the rampant homosexuality of the vast majority of the commenters here"

    So, you're saying libertarian women don't like the gays? You're saying women who call themselves libertarian are homophobic?

  • Hyperion||

    Is that you, Murikan?

  • Marc F Cheney||

    Probably when they discovered the rampant homosexuality of the vast majority of the commenters here.

    Is this junior high school?

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    OUCH, the way you flirt would make a sailor blush. Are you "trolling"?

  • Lady Bertrum||

    the porn posts

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Question: "And what do you attribute this loss of wiminz to?"

    Correct answer: the porn posts

    Necessary remedy? None.

  • Ted S.||

    Women like porn too. It's just a different type of porn.

  • Hyperion||

    I dunno dude, I've watched porn with women before, and they seemed to like the same stuff that I do.

  • Tejicano||

    Hard to say exactly - I've watched porn with women but in some cases it seemed she was just looking for my reaction rather than her getting into it. It was basically plain vanila so it didn't seem like she was testing to see if I might be interested in something new to us.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    "Women like porn too."

    True. But it's not about the type of porn.

    It's just this place is typically a sausage fest and it's a bit uncomfortable to be a women in that context.

    No worries, though. It's a problem (to the extent it's a problem) that will take care of itself.

    You all will self-censor or you won't. No biggie.

  • Agammamon||

    Jesus Christ, why have you guys started to respond to it? We were doing so well when the infection first showed up. Starving it of essential attention and now everyone wants to see how big t can get.

  • BuSab Agent||

    I'm here precisely FOR the homo-erotic subtext that drips from the screen...looking at you SugarFree.

  • Killazontherun||

    I don't think he was a patriot. I called for reforms of the NSA before Snowden leaked those documents

    I'm the real hero!

  • Hyperion||

    See if we had some real journalists left in the country, who were allowed to approach his highness, instead of a bunch of spineless pussies, someone would have asked 'But what about all of the innocent people you've murdered with drones?'

  • Hyperion||

    Just got back from FluffPo, reading comments on the story about dear leaders speech.

    The comments are now, definitely more in favor of Snowden than Obama. A huge swing from when this story first broke. I would say it's about 60-70% pro Snowden.

    When you've lost FluffPo, Mr. POTUS, you are going to find it really hard to find any support outside of your adoring MSM.

    This is not over.

  • DEATFBIRSECIA||

    In fact the first 14 comments are 100% pro-Snowden with the 14th one calling for impeachment!

    Impeachment! At HuffPo!

    Bring me my hallucinogens, I mean bath salts!

  • Hyperion||

    This pretty much tells the story, from one of the most prolific posters over there

    If progressive means you support a police-surveillance-state, then I'm sorry I ever considered myself one....

  • Killazontherun||

    That comment is beautiful.

  • Nazdrakke||

    So that person is saying that they basically didn't understand progressivism at all. I mean, it's not like it's some great big fucking secret, and the surveillance state is only logical follow through now that the technology is becoming available to make it happen.

  • Hyperion||

    I assume, that what this person thought, is what a lot of those who claim to be progressive, think. That it means you are for 'progress', whatever that means, and that you are 'not a Republican'. Seriously, I doubt that even 10% of those claiming to be Progressive know anything about the beginning of the movement and that it is really just neo-socialism/communism/statism with the name changed to make it sound better.

    That philosophy or religion, which ever one you see it to be, can ultimately lead to nothing else than a total state where individual rights are always sacrificed for the benefit of the state. And by state, I mean a small collection of ruling elitists who rule over the impoverished, but equally impoverished, masses.

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    Modern progressivism is characterized by a Fascistic administrative system and a Stalinistic enforcement system -- leitmotif: interventionism. Check Barack Obama, Janet Napolitano and Diane Feinstein. All progressive icons. Now please, I don't mean to leave the other fellows out of this, but this is 2013, remember?

  • Killazontherun||

    Then you see shit like this:

    attacking a black president for what the white president created does not make you a patriot

    and this --

    Revealing actions almost a decade old. Some people sure are sl0w to absorb revelations.

  • Hyperion||

    Of course, it's Fluffpo. But, the tide is turning, I really believe this. If it wasn't do you think dear leader would have made such a pathetic attempt to placate the serfs?

  • Killazontherun||

    The ratio that's negative Obama and pro Snowden is pretty similar to here. And the snide asides like the ones I quoted are coming from the same loser mindset as what we see in our trolls, so I agree.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Shriek is tormenting them too?

  • Killazontherun||

    That last guy I quoted has several shreek like BUT BOOOSH!!! comments on a lot of people who go after Dear Leader.

    His tagline reads 'GOP inc., we break it, you buy it.'

    So, yeah, a real TEAM player.

  • Dweebston||

    Maybe if you prefaced every statement with a short preamble to the effect that it's no more acceptable to break Constitutional law and spy on your own citizens whether you're Democrat or Republican, whether or not it would have some effect.

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    Even if the black president is the spiritual son of the asshole white president that preceded him???? what a laugh.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    "This is not over."

    In my most hopeful moments I believe the cynicism, distrust, and general hatred for politicians and media by the public will last and lead to real change (vomit, I now hate that word), but then I wake up from my drunken, delusional state and have a good laugh.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    They'll realize that getting free shit is more important to them in just a little while.

  • Hyperion||

    Then the free shit will run out, and there will go out the window, the last support for the statists who have been unleashing their goon squads upon the public.

  • Hyperion||

    That is unless, you really believe the rhetoric of those currently in power, that the grand socialist scheme will work, when the right people are in charge.

    I'm a non-believer.

  • PH2050||

    Then the free shit will run out

    So, do you think that opponents of PPACA should actually support its implementation, so as to highlight its flaws or hasten its failure?

    I'm a non-believer

    I believe TANSTAAFL.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    We'll see. I have my doubts, but I would like to be pleasantly surprised.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    What do we want?

    Universal Healthcare!!

    When do we want it?

    Now!!

  • Hyperion||

    And we're willing to pay for it too! Oh, wait, I take that back. I meant someone else must be willing to pay for it, right? Amirite?

    Never mind, let's just pass it to see what's in it? Hope and change redux!

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Well, yeah. As soon as dems start talking about the War on Women, income inequality, and THE RACISM the civil liberty stuff goes out the window because the rethuglicans are worse, worser, and worst!

    But, I hope you're right and this time it's different.

  • Hyperion||

    You're one seriously disturbed person. Get some meds, maybe you will feel better.

  • NSA Arthur||

    his meds aren't working. his doctor is already out of his league.
    whoops I've said too much.

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    RM -- more little children are incinerated by YOUR fucking Progressive-Predator Drones launched by YOUR bitch Nazi Self-hating Homophobe of a President, you fucking warmongering sock-puppet cunt.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Calm down and take your med.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    I'm confused by this character SF.

    At first I thought he was a homophobe crank, but then he's got barely repressed longings for Sevo and Hyperion. Now he's flapping his gums about "repukes"? Is this last bit sarcastic? Is he a self-hating homo?

    Also I thought you were a better writer than that. Or is the heavy handed projection Epi's signature?

  • Hyperion||

    Don't be confused, Jesse. It's Murikan.

  • Killazontherun||

    When Murkin wears the wings made out of human flesh and tucks his dick in, all of his confusions goes away.

  • Killazontherun||

    goes

    on like donky kong tonight

  • jesse.in.mb||

    That's not merkin's MO though. He always starts off soft, works in some agreement about something not particularly awful and does a Glenn Beck if you agree with x you MUST agree with y jump to something heinous. When everyone calls him out on it a new commenter appears to agree with him in a servile way. Besides everyone knows merkin loves fantasy servile Japanese women.

    I think this is someone trying to gin up a fun message board by being ridiculous, but the character writing is worse than the normal stuff. SF would be able to keep it together. This one is just awful at it.

  • Hyperion||

    That's not merkin's MO though

    Yeah, but just think about it, Jesse.

    What happens to every troll that ever comes here?

    They go fucking insane, that's what!

    This is Murikan. Every time he changes his name, we figure out quickly who he is. Now he loves us so much, that he really cannot stay away, but he doesn't want us to know who he is, because of the shame of his cowardice.

    It's just like Tony. Tony really wants to be a Libertarian. That's why he comes here. But he can't do it, because he can't break free from the prison of his own social circle.

    That's all it is. Murika is fascinated by us, those who want to live free. And at the same time that it fascinates him, he is insanely infuriated by the fact that he does not have the courage to be one of us.

  • Nazdrakke||

    Hmm.. I dunno, I kinda see Tulpa or even PB as the one who wishes that he could summon the courage to be free, and possibly stop being an asshole, and 'murikan is one of those total pussy skinhead kids me and my friends used to beat the shit out of after concerts in years gone by. Tony.. Tony is first man up in a game of "Who goes Nazi?"

  • Hyperion||

    Tulpa is just a NeoCon, nothing more or less. He's a statist asshole who wants to be cool, but can't be. I know real life versions of him.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    I totally agree that H&R breaks its toys trolls eventually. We are a careless people when it comes to such things, but I really don't think this one's our favorite pubic wig. He's too far off the mark.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    During my week of refreshing my knowledge of qualitative and quantitative research methods in the social sciences, I missed you idiots....

    Did we finally kill all of our trolls while I was gone?

  • Hyperion||

    Did we finally kill all of our trolls while I was gone?

    Apparently not, HM. We failed to kill Murikan, we just drove him insane, and in the depths of his insanity, he has even fooled the righteous.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    you were away?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Yeah, I went on a week-long seminar in a rather nice hotel in the White Mountains.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    White Mountains

    Don't you mean White PRIVILEGE Mountains!?

    I got nothin' I'm pretty content drinking my roommate's booze and eating my first attempt at making jambalaya. Needs more okra.

  • Sevo||

    jesse.in.mb| 8.9.13 @ 9:20PM |#
    "I'm confused by this character SF."

    Not as confused as s/he is!

  • Calidissident||

    I don't think this is American. He would never say anything positive about protecting the rights of gays or blacks, even if he wasn't serious. I'm pretty sure this is Mary Stack

  • PapayaSF||

    I agree it seems more like her, adjusting her persona a bit.

  • Dweebston||

    Are we so sure about that? I realize the free-shit parade is sizable, but how politically relevant are they? How reliable is their vote? More so than middle-class fiscal conservatives with mortgages and retirement savings? Because I imagine some schmuck with a 50k/year job, two kids in college, and a home in suburbia probably votes like clockwork relative to the shrill Obamaphone harpy.

  • NSA Dan||

    My name is Lt. Dan. I will be your NSA officer this evening.
    Please carry on as normal.

  • A Serious Man||

    But Lt. Dan, you ain't got no legs.

  • NSA Dan||

    you don't think I haven't heard all the forrest gump jokes before?

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Where's my shrimp, Gimpy?

  • Killazontherun||

    It went in my lo mein earlier tonight.

  • NSA Arthur||

    Lt. Dan has been reassigned.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    So now we get the rich drunk. Did your daddy get you this job?

  • jesse.in.mb||

    I thought you were dead!

  • NSA Arthur||

    welcome to the watchlist :)

  • Nazdrakke||

    Say Hi to my Dad for me Arthur.

  • NSA Arthur||

    I'm sorry Nazdrakke, I'm afraid I can't do that.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Exellent! Enjoy the gratuitous amount of hairy taint you in your future, Ms. Arthur ;)

  • PS wanders the Wasteland||

    What are you a puritan?

  • NSA Arthur||

    well there goes my next 80 lunches.

  • Agammamon||

    Another casualty of the job.

  • Jordan||

    Egg producers in France enact their own Keynesian stimulus:

    French Egg Producers Smash 300,000 Eggs and Demand Government Action to Raise Prices
  • Hyperion||

    That'll show em! When we got no more eggs to sell, the price will rise!

    /socialist retard

  • Sevo||

    Pretty sure they acted in ignorance of 'diminishing returns'.
    Oh, and they're french farmers; tell 'em Jefferson was full of it. They're clod-hoppers with a funny language.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    France has neither winter nor summer nor morals--apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. - Mark Twain

  • Sevo||

    One other problem: The French live there.

  • Hyperion||

    If it weren't for wine and cheese, and that statue they gave us, would there be any reason not to nuke em?

  • PS wanders the Wasteland||

    Because their women are way hotter than the English?

  • Hyperion||

    I dunno man, there are some really hot British women, just sayin. Of course, there are some really hot women all over the world.

  • PS wanders the Wasteland||

    I dunno man, there are some really hot British women, just sayin. Of course, there are some really hot women all over the world.

    Well they are some of the fattest in Europe which doesn't help, but even when they are relatively thin they tend to pack it on in the wrong places, like their arms and belly. Despite the huge influx of British tourists in Prague, the number of times I've seen a Brit able to hold her own against the local talent is pretty rare.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Their women?

    And more importantly their men!

  • PS wanders the Wasteland||

    The exception that proves the rule.

  • Lady Bertrum||

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Definitely the Brits have it.

    You're planning on leaving off Ben Cohen?

  • Lady Bertrum||

    I've never heard of him, but who cares? Wow. Just. Wow.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    All around nice guy, father, likes being undressed and hot as all get out.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    What are they feeding them across the pond? We need to get us some, whatever it is.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Could not agree more.

    Also I think KK is going to be bummed she missed this. I think Ben Cohen is up her alley.

  • Dweebston||

    I've a soft spot for a certain Red Eye frequenter, even if she does affect that obnoxious world-weary irritation liberals do so well.

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    The hottest woman I've ever met in person was a French woman.

  • Jordan||

    And look what surfaced while President Dipshit was busy lying to us:

    NSA loophole allows warrantless search for US citizens' emails and phone calls
    Exclusive: Spy agency has secret backdoor permission to search databases for individual Americans' communications
  • NSA Arthur||

    and?

  • Hyperion||

    Oh no, does this mean he's going to give another speech?

  • Sevo||

    But we're assured they won't "abuse" it, right?
    What a pathetic excuse. Those rights aren't a product of the government, they're a goddam limit on what the population allows the government to do!
    Screw that 'won't abuse' it crap; quit it, and quit it now. Fire the people involved, dismantle the infrastructure and open the remains for inspection by anyone who wants to look.
    Oh, and issue hammers so we can pound the stuff to dust while we look; the Berlin wall is a good example.

  • Killazontherun||

    For an agency the prezzy insists is not spying on the American people, they sure are looking for a lot of ways to do so.

  • Sevo||

    That was a gold-medal gall performance, wasn't it?
    'We're not "spying", we're trying to define "is"'

  • Killazontherun||

    When you are cornered and deserved impeaching (but wont be) several leaks ago, you tend to step up your game.

  • Hyperion||

    News Flash:

    Redfining Marriage is Murikan.

    He couldn't control his anti-gay bigotry for another minute, and it finally came out. Now he can start up with the racism, now that the veil is off.

  • Hyperion||

    Take your meds, Murikan, you will feel better.

    In the meantime, keep posting your moronic shit, we all need a good laugh.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    Friday nights around here used to be alot more fun.

  • Killazontherun||

    It was a lot more fun here when Postrel was running the night gangbangs.

  • Killazontherun||

    night

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    Please, don't talk to me

  • Killazontherun||

    I didn't notice who was posting the above remark. Shame is what I'm feeling.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    yeah wasn't directed at you

  • Killazontherun||

    I realize that, but I engaged it. These human emotions like shame are new to me.

  • Sevo||

    Not when WI was here, they weren't.

  • Hyperion||

    Well, we need to campaign harder for late night links with Lucy as host.

  • Nazdrakke||

    Guess we could start our own discussions.. like, could deep-dish pizza continue to exist in a totally an-cap society, or is 'murikin's late-stage syphilis the reason for his behavior or he just a dickbag.

    Ya know, heavy stuff.

  • Hyperion||

    Murikan has went completely insane, just like all the other trolls, reason and logic are their Kryptonite.

    Got to hand it to Obamas ButtPlug, he's the only troll here to ever keep his sanity somewhat intact.

    We should give him some type of prize for that. You know, like how the so called elitists and celebrities are always giving themselves prizes. How about the 'Electric Cattle Prod Up Your Azz' prize?

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    News you can use

    How to live with an alcoholic

  • PS wanders the Wasteland||

    Judging from that picture I'm guessing the author would still be a virgin if it weren't for alcohol.

  • Hyperion||

    Well, she better have one hell of a body, cause that face ain't getting anyone an erection.

  • sticks||

    Different strokes for different folks.

  • Hyperion||

    Yep, agree.

  • Tejicano||

    I wonder how much the hubby's night blindness plays in this?

  • Hyperion||

    Drink more?

  • Sevo||

    OK, update on moonbeam and the light-rail:
    "Brown will intervene to prevent another BART strike"
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/.....721755.php
    Well, isn't that just ducky! What he won't do is use any muscle; one of the commenters shoots a bullseye:

    "Rat_Bastard 5:43 PM on August 9, 2013
    Moonbeam you started this crap when you were Governor last time, YOU created these monsters and it's time for you to ask for some legislation to stop this holding the public hostage garbage."
    -------------------
    The real story is buried behind the paywall:
    "No politician likely to try to stop BART strike
    Politicians have too much to lose to force settlement"
    http://www.sfchronicle.com/pol.....719505.php

    At least moonbeam can read tea-leaves; even the oh, so, regressive Bay Area is not giving the love to the unions.

  • Dweebston||

    What, are they waiting for either BART or the taxpaying, transit-riding public to keel over? That the story will burn out on its own? And this is the state that gave us Reagan, the man who fired an entire striking union?

  • buddhastalin||

    There's a state senator from Concord making some noise about outlawing transit worker strikes. Unfortunately, he says that won't happen till next year at the earliest, but by then this will blow over and everyone will have forgotten about it, which I think will take the wind out of those sails.

  • Tejicano||

    Jeez, can somebody call Troll Central and tell them our trolls are defective?

    If the Buttplug is the best they can send us - a fool who can only see Red or Blue with nothing in between or on a different axis - then we might be heading for an echo chamber since that kind of input doesn't add much to the discussion.

  • Hyperion||

    But, we have Murikan back as Redifining Marriage, and he's actually giving a somewhat lame and angry performance, that is so far tricking us into thinking he's not Murikan.

    ButtPlug, as I stated above, is probably our best troll, in that he has so far somehow refrained from going completely insane.

  • Tejicano||

    The problem with BP is that his ideology is Teflon coated. Nothing sticks, nothing gets through. He argues in bad faith just trying to get his idea across. His Team affiliation means more to him than anything else.

    RM is just harping blather. No substance and not even any real argument. It is an idiot I cannot even be bothered with. I don't even care if it is or isn't MuriKKKan - both just come here to rant and don't engage with anybody.

  • Hyperion||

    BP just wants to convince us that he is Libertarian. It's laughable because he won't criticize Obama no matter what he does.

    This makes me think that BP is a plant from the Obama admin.

  • Tejicano||

    "BP just wants to convince us that he is Libertarian"

    Interesting angle. When I read this it hit me that - if we can assume BP argues in good faith - he may be thinking he IS a libertarian (in his definition of the word) and is trying to get us to follow that ideal.

    Recently I have seen BP make a few, faint jabs in O'Bozo's direction but it's obvious he just does it as an attempt to go along with what people are saying here. His heart is not in it.

  • Hyperion||

    Tejicano,

    Seriously, I have been reading his posts for a long time now. He will never criticize Obama, and at the same time, claims to be Libertarian. He's not a real person, just an Obama shill. He comes off as very reasonable once in a while, but pay close attention to his bullshit.

    I just called him out the other day for making the false statement that Ron Paul did better in the 2012 NH primary, than his son is doing against that fat asshole, Christy, in current polls. Then when I checked it out and pointed out that Romney beat Ron Paul by 16 points in NH in 2012 and that Rand is only trailing Christie by 5 points in the same state, he disappeared instead of defending it.

    PB is nothing more than an Obama apologist. I suspect he gets paid for this.

  • Tejicano||

    I read that exchange and see your point.

    Sometimes I'm not sure if BP is Reason staff sent out to stir up debate or just an Obama shill. He is impervious to logic or facts - as you said he just folds when he gets skewered.

    So it comes down to me wondering what his motivation is for coming here at all. I grew up with Unitarians and as much as they are progressives down to their DNA, and as much as they love to argue, I can't think of one that would spend so much time on a blog like this.

    You could be right that his time here is part of his job.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    This doesn't help the stereotype.

  • Ted S.||

    Northern Irish Protestants who deliberately offend Catholics are TEH EVIL!!!

    Feminists who deliberately offend Catholics are VIRTUOUS!!!

    The obvious solution is for the Loyalists to march through the Catholic neighborhoods in drag, chanting, "Keep your rosaries off our ovaries!"

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    Oh no, what a shame.

  • PS wanders the Wasteland||

    I think it was the fact that Willis really looked like a wimp when he was standing between Arnold and Stallone.

  • Dweebston||

    GREEDY AND LAZY ...... A SURE FORMULA FOR CAREER FAILURE

    Willis is somewhat past the point of failure when he's offered three million, asks for a third more, and feels free to walk when it's not granted.

  • All-Seeing Monocle||

    Hyperion| 8.9.13 @ 7:34PM |#
    Just got back from FluffPo, reading comments on the story about dear leaders speech.

    The comments on the NYT article "President Moves to Ease Worries on Surveillance" are offering no solace for His Majesty either. I'm 40 or 50 comments in and it's all "meaningless reassurances" and "pardon Snowden".

    I refuse to take up even an iota of Hyperion's optimism, but it does seem like the masses remain unplacated for the moment.

    I'm sure they'll be over it by morning.

  • Hyperion||

    I'm just as cynical as anyone else. But, I am also a realist. I see what I see. I see the tide turning.

    The Obama admin is nervous as hell. But not nervous enough. We need to crank the heat up, a lot.

  • Tejicano||

    I wish I could say I am convinced but I think it is too early to tell.

    Sure, some stragglers will leave the hive and find other ways to express their political views. But I am afraid that for most of Team Blue the tears will dry and the bruises will heal and before too long they will run happily back to the arms of their abuser.

  • Sevo||

    "I'm 40 or 50 comments in and it's all "meaningless reassurances" and "pardon Snowden"."

    Not going to read the comments there; SF Gate is my limit.
    But the bias is not 'obstructionist rethuglicans'? In the NYT?

  • Hyperion||

    NYT is meaningless, Sev.

    Seriously, when I read their comments, I think these people are not from the same planet. They try to sound intelligent because they read the NYT, but at the same time they believe anything that Krugman writes, without question.

    The NYT crowd are a dying breed.

  • All-Seeing Monocle||

    But the bias is not 'obstructionist rethuglicans'? In the NYT?

    Nope, not as far as I went anyway. I saw a grand total of one "Bush started it" and one "he has to do this to protect us from the evil terrists" buried in a landslide of comments that cheap talk just wasn't gonna do it this time, the pres has zero credibility on this, and the dialog wouldn't have happened without Snowden.

    If I didn't know better (and actually, I don't), the comments read almost like they were invaded by you lot, only they didn't get distracted talking about scifi, sexual perversions, or beer.

  • Nazdrakke||

    talking about scifi, sexual perversions, or beer.

    So they're really still ignoring all the important stuff then. Pfft.

  • Sevo||

    "If I didn't know better (and actually, I don't), the comments read almost like they were invaded by you lot, only they didn't get distracted talking about scifi, sexual perversions, or beer."

    Damn. Busted!

  • Hyperion||

    Where did Murikan go? Did I blow your cover, Murikan?

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    bath time. he'll be back in 20 minutes?

  • jesse.in.mb||

    I'm not sure if the image I now have of a grown man in a klan hood in a bath piled high with suds playing with a rubber duckie is terrifying or hilarious.

  • All-Seeing Monocle||

    Answer: Yes.

  • Sevo||

    jesse.in.mb| 8.9.13 @ 10:30PM |#
    ..."playing with a rubber duckie"...

    I'm gonna guess that *ain't* a rubber ducky.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    ok 30 minutes.

  • Tejicano||

    With the force of all the emotion he was spewing I'd assume he is off in his bunk rubbing one out.

  • Nazdrakke||

    You were worried about the constant cruise missile threat faced by our great nation's capitol? Don't fret, Uncle Sam is on it.

  • Dweebston||

    At last, the age of steampunk commenceth! Cosplay nerds the world over, unite!

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    AQ to reset attack dates to Monday

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    Twenty-seven illegal animals have been removed from the building in Campbellton, N.B., where two boys were killed by an African rock python

  • jesse.in.mb||

    I blame ProL!

  • Dweebston||

    Wow. That is really tragic. Thank God they have laws to prevent it from...oh.

  • Robert||

    Was I alone in looking at the sign inthe photo and wondering who's #1?

  • Robert||

    And now that I look more closely, thinking "surviellance" means "great age"?

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    After reading this, I almost want the Olympics to go back to Vancouver.

    On one hand, maybe progressive British Columbians should welcome an Olympic return. We could make sure that all the promises of social housing in Olympic Village and elsewhere are fulfilled or that the public money converted to private profit is returned with interest.
  • PS wanders the Wasteland||

    I would be remiss if didn't mention the campaign, popularized by Dan Savage, to boycott Russian vodka. (Really? Vodka? It's as if our only source of knowledge of the former Soviet Union is still pre-Timothy Dalton James Bond films.) Even so, at least this campaign, admittedly symbolic, attempts to target the craven backbenchers in tacit support of these unjust laws: corporations.

    If only the evul corporashuns would get out of the way and let governments be just, righteous and pure.

  • Calidissident||

    Yeah, corporations are the reason Putin and the Russian government are persecuting gays. Seriously?

  • Cassius||

    You can't expect these people to actually understand other cultures (like, say, the relationship between the Russian government's legitimacy and the very anti-gay Orthodox church) before projecting their worldview onto them.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Lol you have a copy and paste template for your rage?

    That's the laziest trolling ev4h!

    What the fuck did you just fucking write about LEOs, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the police academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on DOMESTIC TERRORISTS, and I have over 300 arrests and convictions.
  • Heroic Mulatto||

    That's "TierOneOperator", a completely different person that "OperatorTierOne".

    Geez!

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Jesus. This place is like a psych ward tonight. A psych ward filled with actual psychotics, not just kinda crazy people.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Naw, I still think it's all sock puppets. Nutters don't have an extensive template split perfectly evenly so that it's under the comment length.

  • Sevo||

    Lady Bertrum| 8.9.13 @ 11:21PM |#
    "Jesus."

    Yesss?
    I didn't think anyone would recognize me without the sandals.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    I've been meaning to talk to you about the sandals thing. Your feet, I mean. There's no easy way to say this so.... Your feet stink. Wash them. Or, get Mary M. to wash them for you. m'k?

  • Sevo||

    You think that's my FEET?

  • Tejicano||

    Oh yeah? What is the color of the boat house at Herford?

  • Aloysious||

    How the fuck should I know?

  • Agammamon||

    "I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps"

    Wait, I thought you were a Seal?

  • Killazontherun||

    TierOne. Are should I say Txxxx Mxxxxx? Yeah, you can fill in the Xs without my help. What is this charge you are contesting on your American Epress? For a ferret and you claim that you thought you were buying a poodle. Sure. This other charge you put on your Master Charge for stitches to repair your mesoderm attached to your coelum in your protostomes tell the real story, pal.

  • Calidissident||

    Now the troll is getting trolled

  • Agammamon||

    No, because you wish it.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    Your Canadian rock song of the night.

  • jesse.in.mb||

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Your Canadian gay disco song of the night.

  • Ted S.||

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    Genealogists love census data.

  • Sevo||

    "Genealogists love census data."

    So do all sorts of folks. I've had more than one discussion with a relative who is only 'tracing the family tree' regarding passing out my data to the commercial data sorters.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    Ladies and Gentlemen, Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford!

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Awesome! Gotta love a jolly drunk.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Vertical video recording needs to stop. People need to hold their cameras horizontally for more acceptable aspect ratio. Lazy yutes!

  • Dweebston||

    Lou: Hey, Chief, can I hold my gun sideways? It looks so cool.

  • Sevo||

    I was gonna put this up with the BART post, but it's too 'just so' to make it hard to find. Here's union labor's paean to moonbeam:
    "Jerry Brown gave more than a million California workers the right to bargain collectively for better wages and benefits."
    Yes, he gave away the taxpayers' money in amounts that even his fantasies never covered! An asshole without feck...
    http://www.calaborfed.org/index.php

  • Agammamon||

    I just got back from seeing 'Elysium" and can tell you that it is, without a doubt, . . .


    . . . a pretty decent movie.

    Notwithstanding the extreme unlikely-hood of the premise, the movie merely sets up this universe and we follow a handful of characters through it. Most of it proceeds logically, the characters are decently written and acted and the action scenes don't devolve into 'Transformers' level WTFing.

    Too much shakey-cam - I don't mind/kinda like it during action sequences but Blokampf, you need to use a steadi-cam for the non-action stuff.

  • Agammamon||

    Now for a list of the stupid stuff

    1. Shuttles full of illegal immigrants are heading for the station -
    a. The station's equivalent of the secretary of defense is *personally* handling dealing with them.
    b. To blow up the shuttles she calls a dude ON EARTH and has him blow them up with shoulder-launched missiles. Shoulder-launched missiles that can reach low orbit.
    c. All of this without any authorization (not even previous ROE permitting this)from the station's president and ruling council, whatever they are. The pres even makes it clear that she didn't have the authority to do this.

    2. The coup proceeds way to easily and quickly.

    3. Reboot the *whole* system and that allows someone to take over EVERY CRITICAL FUNCTION ON THE STATION AND CROWN THEMSELVES EMPEROR? Really, never heard of single-point-of-failure? And I mean like, literally, everything. Even the *lights* go out.

    3. Elysium is apparently withholding life-saving technology for the lulz (of course, without this there's no movie - don't ask questions. You let zombies have a pass for Jehovah's sake).

    4. Of course the main character has to sacrifice himself in the end.

    5. Somehow the station has a list of all the people on the station AND on Earth.

    6. What were they radiating in that booth anyway - droids? Why do they need to be radiated (oh right, to give MATT DAMON! some character motivation).
    .

  • Agammamon||

    7. Wait a minute, they have shoulder-launched surface-to-orbit missiles and yet the station has no external defenses at all?

    8. Really, no philanthropists on the station at all? No group setting up an NGO and bringing live-saving medical technology to the poor impoverished masses? Not a one?

    9. Somehow the SecDef can declare a state of war emergency unilaterally and take all control away from the President

  • Sevo||

    "1. Shuttles full of illegal immigrants are heading for the station -"

    I'm sure the monocle-polishing compound was loaded prior to the i-i's, right?

  • Agammamon||

    Nah, they were comin' to freeload on Elysium's Government Mandated Healthcare System.

    Though I do wonder how a bunch of brown-skinned Mexican-americans were expecting to blend in, in the lily-white suburbs of the orbital habitat.


    Oh one more stupid thing.

    MATT DAMON's younger self, grew up in the ruins of LA, a place where 90% of the people speak Spanish as a first language and English is rare and yet he has such a horrible accent even *I* could tell its bad.

    Oh and adult MATT DAMON! has no trace of a Mexican accent.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    People suck

  • Lady Bertrum||

    From the comments:

    I am a bit confused as to how the sexist pressure to conform is actually going to make her little darling shit less and less as she grows up.
    Is the sewage authority the sinister force behind patriarchy?

  • Lady Bertrum||

    But, the comment missed the thesis of the article. It's not that little darling will actually shit less as she grows, it's that she'll be less proud of her prodigious shits, and this lack of pride is caused by the patriarchy. The patriarchy once again oppressing little girls - by making them not proud of big shits. Great.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Memo to Patriarchy

    STOP MAKING ME NOT PROUD OF MY HUGE SHITS!!!!!

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    If you want people to validate your ginormous shits, there exists a site called rate my poo.
    I believe you can find the site without my help

  • Lady Bertrum||

    STOP oppressing me!

    By suggesting I get others to "validate" by poops, you're implying I need approval from the patriarchy.

    I will empower and self-actualize by celebrating my Volvo sized turds on my own - thank you very much.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Volvo sized turds

    You're clearly doing something correctly in your life.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Possibly, but what I really long for is Volvo sized pride......

  • Dweebston||

    This is not a volvo...

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    WHen I was in Africa for the first time, they told me your shit needs to be the length of your forearm every day.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Clearly my friend group remains unaffected by the patriarchy because most of my lady-friends are damned proud of their huge shits.

    jesse: come over I'm making Indian food.
    friend: no, last time it was a giant pot of cabbage and peas. it was delicious but it was a massive fiber bomb.
    jesse: seriously, you're complaining about added fiber in your diet.
    friend: fuck off I'm trying to find my keys I'll be over in 10.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Your lady-friends have reached feminist nirvana.

    I hope some day to be able to look at my tremendous shits with the pride they deserve.

  • ||

    How good is your dhal?

  • jesse.in.mb||

    It's actually one of the things I haven't tried my hand at. I make a decent naan, and if I have the spices on hand can do a convincing vindaloo, alu gobi and palak paneer. A college friend of mine spent a year in northern India and came back cooking up a storm, another friend's family was from Kerala so dinner at her house was always a treat, but her mother always had everything ready when we'd get there so i never learned any tricks.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    This is America where we cook American food.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    I'm sorry, aren't you in Canuckistan where they cook poutine?*

    *I love poutine, and ketchup chips, this is not a judgement call on Canadian cuisine.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    how to cook like a Canadian.

  • ||

    Shut up Canuck. My Indian American friend's parents (naturalized citizens) are some of the best cooks I know. I'm more partial to non-vegetarian Indian food but some Jain dhal is delicious. Naan is good too. I'm more partial to Roti Prahta though (Singaporen Muslim-Indian bread).

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Oh man, there was only one place in the area that did a decent Roti Canai and it closed. My Chinese by way of Malaysia and San Jose friend and I were pissed.

  • ||

    The best Pratha/Roti Prata/Roti Canai I've had in the states was in College Station of all places.

  • jesse.in.mb||

    Big Indian/Malaysian/Singaporean population there?

    My friend says there's a supermarket in Orange County that sells impressive frozen Roti. Her mother had apparently briefly held out hope that her daughter had learned how to cook. I've been buy the market but haven't been in.

  • ||

    It's as hick white as you get but there is an Indian restaurant there that does a variety of styles and they did that good. Don't know where the owners are from.

  • Agammamon||

    ". . .if her first word really was Abu, followed by Hamza, or was it merely cat?"

    Yeah, that's as far as I'm going in this article.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    People suck

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    Fuck, the Obamabots have faded into the woodwork. Even the knee-jerk sock-puppet defenders are ashamed.

  • ΘJΘʃ de águila||

    Just leave him alone. Let him do the job the American people hired him to do.

  • ||

    I have a different theory on the new troll seeing as how Mary/White Indian/Rectal showed up a couple days ago.

  • ||

    Just watched Mud. Pretty good.

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    Wait.

    When did America's Cup switch to catamarans?

  • Redmanfms||

    A cat was used in the 1988 defense (which is what ultimately lead to the IACC).

    Trimarans were used in the 2010 Cup Challenge.

  • MappRapp||

    Sometimes man, you jsut have to rol lwith it.

    www.AnonMega.tk

  • pan fried wylie||

    NO 2 Surveillance State

    Second place is nothing to celebrate.

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