Midnight on The Independents: Live Reaction to the State of the Union Address!

Tonight's live episode of Fox Business Network's The Independents will come at you midnight eastern, 9 pm Pacific, and will include ex-Reasoner Michael C. Moynihan, Vice magazine co-founder Gavin McInnes, FreedomWorks President/CEO Matt Kibbe, and Democratic political strategist Basil Smikle, along with some hoo-larious historical footage, demonstrations of foolish laws, and other hijinks. Tweet it out at @IndependentsFBN!

Comments

[Damned Fool]

If you've died from Reason-endorsed alcohol poisoning, please raise your hand.

[Derpetologist]

I came into this world because of cheap alcohol* and that's the way I'll go out.

$3.75 Riesling for the win.

*Not really. I was raised Mormon.

[Bam!]

I was raised Mormon.

Then you certainly earned your degree in Derptology.

[Derpetologist]

So very true.

? And that's how the Book of Mormon was written, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb!

[SweatingGin]

*Not really. I was raised Mormon.

"Who's being naive, Kay?"

[Corning]

I was raised catholic I can't drink regularly...

And I have tried.

[kibby]

I have class tomorrow morning. & not enough alcohol in my apartment to have gotten me through that.

[SweatingGin]

Not dead. well buzzed. really fucking well buzzed.

[playa manhattan]

I need to stop eating so much protein.

[CE]

Does a zombie fist rising out of the dirt count?

[Sevo]

Maybe Merkin and Mary will show up here!

[playa manhattan]

Pretty sure it was just Mary.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

Buttplug and Tony have been active today, get them in here too. Make this a real derpfest.

[Irish]

Mary and American have also been around. It's like a troll orgy today.

[MJGreen]

Watley is a special kind of "special." That was a fun thread.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

He was an awful troll. Circular logic and assertions for days.

[Irish]

It was American. Go back and look at the bottom of that thread. He mentioned that white people might be 'harmed' if black people moved into their communities and then he started holding court about how the reason black people are unemployed is because of their genetic inferiority.

I called that early. I'm surprised he managed to not get explicitly racist for that long though.

[Sevo]

Irish|1.28.14 @ 11:56PM|#
"It was American. Go back and look at the bottom of that thread."

Yep, ducking and diving until s/he couldn't hide it any more.

[William of Purple]

No drunking, I wasn't an occifer.

[Tulpa (LAOL-VA)]

Wait, is the RA in MyRA for Resettlement Administration? Sounds like a job for BO's pen.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

Or even his phone

[CE]

I think they're talking about my IRA. No one NEEDS that kind of money saved for retirement, so they'll be taking it now.

[trshmnstr]

Great facebook comment about the speech:

"This country was screwed by the 100+ presidents before him lmmfao not one person can get in that office and please anyone"

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

It's disappointments all the way down.

[C. Anacreon]

I think the 99th president was Hoobert Heever.

[Francisco d Anconia]

INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!

[playa manhattan]

You're late.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Fucking with Tony on the other the other thread.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Fucking with Tony on the other the other thread.

WTF? I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

[Derpetologist]

To the tune of YMCA:

You there!
Pour that milk on the ground!
I said you there!
You'd better put it right down
'Cause it's not pas-teur-ized

? ? ? ? ?

You must obey the
USDA!
You must obey the
USDA!

We can ban what you like
It's for your own good
You must do what we say you should

You prole!
Your papers, please!
I said you prole!
Get on your knees
Stop re-sis-ting

? ? ? ? ?

This is a raid by the
BATF!
This is a raid by the
BATF!

We'll crash through your door!
We'll shoot through the walls!
All for a shotgun

? ? ? ? ?

Ratfucks!
Are you listening to me?
I said rat fucks!
You're outnumbered
ten thousand to one

? ? ? ? ?

Fuck off, slavers!
Fuck off, slavers!

Keep this shit up
And you're gonna see
That lamp posts have two uses

? ? ? ? ?

Fuck off, slavers
Fuck off, slavers...

[Bam!]

If your earrings touch your collar bone, Kennedy, leave them in the dressing room.

[SweatingGin]

Don't talk shit about Kennedy's ear rings.

Unless you're suggesting Matt and Kmele are earrings.

[SweatingGin]

turned it on. Those earrings are tiny for Kennedy.

[Francisco d Anconia]

How can Welch be sober after that speech?

[Bobarian]

What makes you think Welch is ever sober?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

If Welch were to stop drinking the cumulative hangover might literally kill him.

[Bam!]

AAGGH! A hipster!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yeah, where's my flying car?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

We have until October 2015 for that to come to pass. Speaking of which, I'm beginning to think life would be better in Biff's alternate timeline.

[CE]

You can order one.

http://www.terrafugia.com/

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I like Kennedy's dress with the glasses patterns. It's more original than hipster moustaches.

[playa manhattan]

Do you like women?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Yes?

[playa manhattan]

Then stop commenting on dress patterns.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

But we can talk about her earrings?

[SweatingGin]

those are fair game.

[Fist of Etiquette]

What a limp... banner.

[Irish]

RACIST!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is Welch wearing a tux?

[MJGreen]

It looks like a tux jacket, but with one of his pink shirts. Or my feed is messing with the color. Moynihan does look vampirically pale.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I worry about him... FEEDING OFF THE BLOOD OF THE OTHER PANELISTS!

[MJGreen]

Oh Matt, what the hell are you wearing?

[Bobarian]

That, Sir, is a sharkskin suit!

Welch the Knife?

[Sevo]

What's next? A Zoot suit?

[Francisco d Anconia]

16,000 federal employees make minimum wage. We are saved.

[CE]

yeah, and 500,000 federal employees make 100K+....

[CE]

talk about income inequality!

[SweatingGin]

Guest is from Takimag, which is awesome for it's... loud, blatant libertarianism. Which is awesome.

Wasn't he a guest from Vice a week ago? Am I misremembering?

Moynihan isn't talking, in the 3 minutes I've been tuned in.

[Irish]

Wasn't he a guest from Vice a week ago? Am I misremembering?

He started Vice.

[SweatingGin]

I thought so. I guess, if I had to pick my company for an interview, I'd probably take vice over takimag. (and I don't really have any particular complaints about taki).

[SIV]

Taki's is great but then I enjoy the NYTs editorial page too.

[Irish]

Kennedy appears to be wearing earrings she made out of the rims of a midget's car.

[Bobarian]

Murder Dronez will be used for only the most despicable wedding parties...

[Bam!]

If Kennedy shed tears for the wounded warrior, I think she'd get dehydrated watching the ASPCA ads.

[Derpetologist]

Lefty nazgul Sally Kohn manages to fill the Team Blue bingo card in 6 minutes:

1) People hate me, so I must be right!

2) Hate speech!

3) Homophobia!

4) Progs are right but people hate them because they're mean!

5) People like conservatives not for their ideas, but their demeanor!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCJTV5KaJJc

[Irish]

Hilarious. Progressives are pathetic and most of them don't appear to know how to read.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

As others have pointed out, Obama is responsible for that guy having the opportunity to serve 10 tours.

73% of Afghanistan casualties have occurred under Obama.

[Derpetologist]

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!

[BiMonSciFiCon]

The Independents twitter feed is asking what was missing from the SOTU. My submission: Gary Johnson.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Oh there was a speech? I'm sure the Liverpool derby I watched on my dvr was much more entertaining. I guess I could watch the show for once.

[Bam!]

Kennedy: Don't wave. Arm fat.

[SweatingGin]

don't talk shit about kennedy's arms.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Watergate.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

But which one is the Tea Party strategist and which one the Democrat?

[Bobarian]

Rand Paul's speech was the only one worth half a damn!

[Bobarian]

Although I didn't see Mike Lee's speech.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Do you really expect a 10 minute speech to include much substance? Obama got an hour of puffy bullshit, there isn't much to say.

[playa manhattan]

KABOOM!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Foster caught him in his equality trap.

[Francisco d Anconia]

I don't understand teh question.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Democrat guy doesn't understand Kmele's point. /shocked face

[Fist of Etiquette]

Wow, Kennedy cut Foster off mid-point. Now that's equality.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I like Kibbe. But shave those sideburns! /Steinbrenner

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Errr, /burns

[playa manhattan]

Mattingly!!!

[Bam!]

GOP chose Your Mother to give the nation a Serious Talk after Obama's rambling rerun of a speech.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

At least one Matt on this program has the balls to say the Republicans have no balls.

[Irish]

Democrat got legitimately confused when asked whether income inequality actually matters. It's like they spend so much time going over the talking points that they never even consider alternatives.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

That's the problem with putting "strategists" on the air. They refuse to think or respond, out of a fear of being myzled.

[Derpetologist]

Tibetan monks spend more time questioning Buddhism than liberals ever spend questioning liberalism.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Ah! Patent troll!

[Francisco d Anconia]

Who's the guy with the glasses? I think I like him. How's he feel about pot and teh gayz?

[Irish]

Matt Kibbe. He's from Freedomworks. He's all around a pretty good guy.

He's a tentacle of the Kochtopus.

[Derpetologist]

Ol' Larken Rose explains the need for rules & government:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wex4UhLTbDM

[Fist of Etiquette]

Treasury will just print more promises.

[Derpetologist]

We're not out of money! Look at all the checks we have left!

[Fist of Etiquette]

There's Nancy! The good days when they had a super majority.

[Bobarian]

This game is awesome!!!

[BiMonSciFiCon]

"Opportunity is who we are." That doesn't make sense.

[Irish]

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Boehner green tie.

[SweatingGin]

"BACK IN THE CHOOM GANG!" If you know what I'm saying.

[Fist of Etiquette]

GREEN INFRASTRUCTURE!

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Kennedy is the best.

[Irish]

2011

[Irish]

Fuck, 2012

[Irish]

Boom, got it on the second try!

[SweatingGin]

did someone say 2112?

[BiMonSciFiCon]

That was my guess too.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Regulations should be what stops the entrepreneurs.

[CE]

It's worked so far.

[William of Purple]

What's the name of the airline where the stewardesses give you a free handy?

[Bam!]

Virgin America?

[Apatheist ?_??]

Yeah but this is who you get your handy from.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ohio sure was a success for Obama in November 2012.

[Bobarian]

Ford is a modest success.

GM is a time-bomb waiting to explode

Chrysler, ehhh?

[Francisco d Anconia]

Think where Ford would be if GM hadn't been bailed out.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Are we getting the hate thing tonight?

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Remember when B.O. Problem said if something doesn't work, they wouldn't do it.

Head start doesn't work. What do we need? More head start! Let's dig our way out! Dig up, stupid!

[Bobarian]

BO Problem?

Somebody's been dating Warty.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

One does not simply "date" warty.

[Bobarian]

But one does develop a BO problem...

[Bobarian]

It's a defense mechanism

[Francisco d Anconia]

Ah, Sokolove. What an upstanding individual.

[playa manhattan]

I believe I have shared my anecdote about him.

[C. Anacreon]

That poor "hard-working" lady who sent Obama a letter that she still needed unemployment benefits after two years, so "someday, she can pay taxes again."

I just can't believe that people can't find a job, any job. But with $450 a week they won't live like kings, but they can get by, so no reason to worry as long as the checks keep coming. I know a guy who's been on unemployment for the past 18 months, because he won't accept a job that pays less than $100,000 a year. Says his dad would ridicule him.

I'll bet there are a lot of jobs out there that one can get that will pay $500 a week that folks can get if they have no other options. But if they are getting a check for $450 why bother?

Please, Mr. Obama, please keep those checks coming indefinitely. I'll get a job some day, I promise.

[Bobarian]

And with that $450 you get gobs of benefits.

With $500, you get government ass-fucking.

[SweatingGin]

assume someone on unemployment has to apply for a job at least once a month. 23 months of unemployment. that means 23 people have had their application and decided not to hire that person.

fuck it. Just put them on disability. Who want's to say they're correct to hire person X, after 23 bosses turned them down?

[JeremyR]

There really aren't a lot.

You can get something like Wal-Mart or fast food, but at the same time, you'd be making so little you'd be on government assistance anyway.

There are jobs, but no, people don't want to do them for the wages offered, because they can't live on those wages.

You can either import people who will take those low paying jobs (which leaves the original people unemployed), or you can create jobs that actually pay well

[Francisco d Anconia]

Or they can take two low paying jobs.

God forbid.

[C. Anacreon]

Or, you could take the shitty job for low wages, and work for awhile, and maybe someone there sees you are smart and makes you the assistant manager, which gives you a 50% raise. And then, a couple of months later, working every day, being industrious with a reason to get up in the morning, you start to have a bit of confidence in yourself, and you hear about a job down the street that pays double what you are now, and you apply and get it. And so on. And within 18 months you have a job that pays $60K.

Or, you can sit on your ass for 18 months, collecting unemployment, sitting in front of the tv all day, and wonder why no one will offer you a job for $60K, because you used to make $80K before you were laid off, and dammit, you are worth at least that kind of money, right?

It's been the same story forever. People who try very often succeed. People who sit around and bitch that the world isn't fair fail.

But as long as we keep giving these "hard-working" individuals over two years of $450 plus benefits many of them will sit on their asses all day, and only once get up out of the couch dimple to get a pen and paper, to write Obama a letter saying "please don't stop my unemployment! I really want to work hard, I do!"

Unemployment used to be intended to keep you afloat for a few weeks while you diligently sought a new job. Now that they want it extended past two years, it has become a lifestyle choice.

[playa manhattan]

SHHHH! I'm on the phone trying to order a SideSocket!

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'm beginning to suspect they make all their money off processing and handling.

[playa manhattan]

I'll make it up on volume. Send me 5!

[Fist of Etiquette]

They should have played that clip from Mars Attacks!.

[playa manhattan]

Harris Ranch, Mr. Welch. Harris Ranch.

[Matt Welch]

Gah!

[Bobarian]

Somebody's been drinking!!

Kennedy's lit.

[Bam!]

Did she just drop "shit"?

[Bobarian]

I thought it was Welch

[Fist of Etiquette]

Should have grabbed the money off the bar and ran. BONUS!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I thin they just let a 'shit' fly on the air.

[Bobarian]

Shhh!

We don't want the censor to know.

[Bobarian]

Greatest boss ever!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yeah, I want sprayed while having my coffee.

[kibby]

My cats are offended by this cat story.

[SweatingGin]

I was going to nail you in the other thread, but figured it was dead. You're not really Matt Kibbe, right? Prove me wrong.

[Irish]

Kibby said she's a woman.

Unless Matt REALLY doesn't want us to know it's him.

[Bobarian]

Maybe he likes to cross-dress?

[kibby]

Uh, no. Definitely not.

[SweatingGin]

PROVE IT!

Prove you're not Kibbe.

[kibby]

HOW DO I PROVE THAT? There is too much pressure tonight!

I have this name because my old boss used to call me by my initials, which are KB.

[Irish]

If you're not Matt Kibbe, tell me something that he wouldn't know.

[SweatingGin]

I also support your right to have a cat cafe.

[Bobarian]

We want Pussy Palaces everywhere.

Oh, we're talking about cats.

Fuck that!

[Francisco d Anconia]

My cat is plotting to kill me.

[playa manhattan]

Not you too!?!

[Francisco d Anconia]

Okay, it's my wife's cat. But, I'm still ashamed.

[playa manhattan]

http://www.amazon.com/How-Kill.....038524648X

[Francisco d Anconia]

Too dangerous. Even my dogs fear him.

[Bobarian]

To be fair, you can't by those stiletto's because of what she did with them, not because they're stillettos.

[Irish]

Obviously it's going to be illegal to sell a murder weapon no matter where you are.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

This commercial is inspiring. Why can't the SotU be a 60 second commercial like that?

[Fist of Etiquette]

She had the money out already? I smell a plant.

[SweatingGin]

Those interviews have stossle's prints all over them.

[Irish]

Those interviews have stossle's prints all over them.

So does Kennedy.

-Drops mic-

[SweatingGin]

Ouch.

If she says "Womb Broom", finish your drink. Maybe have another one, too.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Have I mentioned...

[Fist of Etiquette]

Kennedy needs to be driving around Times Square in a free government golf cart waving giant novelty scissors.

[Bam!]

With an alpaca in the passenger seat.

[Irish]

Kennedy selling stilettos out of the back of a van is pretty much how I imagine her spending her time.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Every girl dreams of landing a husband.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"Complicated accountants." My CPA has a troubled past.

[kibby]

Does Matt have the same accountant as Bernard Black? (Please let somebody get this reference...)

[Fist of Etiquette]

Reforming the Tax Code? The Tax Code balloons because politicians use it to buy votes.

[Bobarian]

Who will...

Give me a hand job?

[SweatingGin]

Get back to 4chan, noob.

[Bobarian]

I'm sorry, I was wondering what quid pro quo Kennedy was talking about in the tax code.

[CE]

Quid pro quo means "tit for tat." And I've got a tat.

[Bam!]

A Kennedy Spelling Bee.

[Bobarian]

Hot buttered ... What?

I got lost.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Rhymes with "balls"

[SweatingGin]

we all did, really.

Me, I came back to consciousness to see a Rudy Guiliani commercial. Fucking hell.

[Bam!]

Kennedy's blood alcohol level is mixing nicely with her natural high. Goes down nicely as a SOTU chaser.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Jill is kinda hot?

[Fist of Etiquette]

This commercial. I'm beginning to think I should get a transvaginal mesh.

[Bobarian]

Was it a lawyer commercial?

[Fist of Etiquette]

I might have missed that part.

[kibby]

If you pay off my student loans, I'll get it & split the law suit settlement with you.

[SweatingGin]

Your ideas intrigue me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter invest in your lawsuit.

[kibby]

I honestly don't even know what that stuff is. It sounds painful & terrible, though.

[Irish]

Apparently it's to repair some kind of pelvic collapse.

I think you might want him to give you more than just your student loans if you really decide to go for this.

[kibby]

You clearly have no idea the horrifying depths of my student loans. & the uselessness of my degree.

[SweatingGin]

sorry, drunk asshole here. "your ideas intrigue me, and I wish to subscribe to your newletter" is a simpsons reference.

[kibby]

Do you think I'm not presuming you're all drunk assholes?

[Bobarian]

I hope so.

[playa manhattan]

I'll bite. How much and what subject? (For the record, I'm all tapped out from paying off my wife's law school loans).

[kibby]

$34,011.80. & I am a Classics major, because it's in such high demand nowadays.

But it's the only thing that's made me happy since I was a little kid, so...oh well.

Man just looking at that number makes me want to swan dive off the balcony now, though.

[playa manhattan]

It's not that much. My wife's was +/- $125,000.

[Francisco d Anconia]

That's not even the price of a new car.

[playa manhattan]

Arrive in style or don't arrive at all.
/Minivan

[SweatingGin]

Even Especially the teetotalers are assholes.

Good night, reason.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Burn!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Energy secretary could have been our president. If only.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

That was hysterical.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

The important thing is ensuring Laura Roslin survives any surprise nuclear attack.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Should have been the education secretary. /cylons

[Fist of Etiquette]

"An old friend of Obama's from Chicago."

[Francisco d Anconia]

emo philips

[Fist of Etiquette]

This would mean more if you could see the cartoon.

[MJGreen]

Lou Reed! Hope we don't lose him any time soon.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I laughed.

[SweatingGin]

Lou Reed, that was H&R fan service, wasn't it? Finish you drink. I would, but all I have left is orange peels.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Somebody told me Lou Reed was dead.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They were pussies.

[Bobarian]

Well to be fair, FDR was pretty bad, too.

[Irish]

His anti-FDR songs actually make me like him more.

[MJGreen]

Yeah, for the first half of Moynihan's anecdote, I started to respect Seeger more.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

The nicest thing you can say about Seeger is that he was really deluded by idealism. I mean fuck, it took him until 1993 to denounce Stalin?

[Derpetologist]

President Camacho comments on the 2013 State of the Union Address:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92XjLNhGVFY

[SweatingGin]

^^ awesome

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

If this La Vida telenovela is in Spanish with no subtitles why are they promoting it in English?

[C. Anacreon]

What if you died after meeting the love of your life, but were able to undo the baby's seatbelt anyway, and then had to sit there in a hospital room while everyone spoke Spanish, which you didn't understand?

[SweatingGin]

I got an advertisement for the Ted Kennedy story in Spanish on the commercial.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Jajajaja, tu as muy comico, SG.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'm getting a lot of commercials for Spanish Fox here.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I "became" pregnant. What?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Kennedy won't even let Foster talk during his own segment.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I pretended that "I love you baby" was for me.

[SweatingGin]

She said "thank you for staying up with us". Good night, Kennedy

[Irish]

"Goodnight you princes of Reason, you kings of Fox Business."

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Me too.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I like Matt's shiny lapels. They look sharp.

[Fist of Etiquette]

AH! No Lou Dobbs.

[SweatingGin]

AHH!! Nutribullet!!!!

Heh, paid programming already here.

[playa manhattan]

Moynihan is more than a little ham-boned this evening.

[Bobarian]

Wookie in green taffeta?

I must have looked away.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Ah, the Nutribullet.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Ah! Nutribullet!

[Francisco d Anconia]

Face!

[playa manhattan]

I know that you are allegedly older than me, but sometimes I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea....

[Francisco d Anconia]

One is only as old as his interweb ramblings.

[Snark Plissken]

Burn!

[kibby]

I like Kmele even more because he drinks what I drink. Step up your game on being awesome, Welch. You're falling behind here.

[Fist of Etiquette]

So I guess there's no after show stream. Lightweights.

[C. Anacreon]

I'm heading to the bathroom for my after-show stream.

[playa manhattan]

Maybe if you self-prescribed some Propecia...

[Archduke von Pantsfan]

Six good reasons not to like Vettel

[NebulousFocus]

Like I needed more reasons.

[Wasteland Wanderer]

Does "not giving a damn" count as "not liking"? Because I've got that covered.

[RishJoMo]

Rack Man Jo Jo says dude that is gonna be really cool. WOw.

http://www.Anon-Stuff.tk

[cheap kits]

"This country was screwed by the 100+ presidents before him lmmfao not one person can get in that office and please anyone"Kennedy's blood alcohol level is mixing nicely with her natural high. Goes down nicely as a SOTU chaser.