Secretary Sebelius on Obamacare SNAFUS: "Give us the slack [you] give Apple"


Yeah, this isn't good. Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius is proactively begging for forgiveness for glitches in Obamacare's rollout. It's just like when Apple releases a new product, right?:

"Hopefully they'll give us the same slack they give Apple…. If there's not quite the operational excellence right away, we'll continue to press for that."

Last time I checked, buying Apple products is voluntary, so this analogy is a no-go from the get-go.

There's this bit of special pleading too, which is nauseating:

"Apple, you know, has a few more resources than we have to roll out technology, and a few more people who've been working on the system for a while, and no-one is calling on Apple to not sell devices for a year or to, you know, get out of the business because the whole thing is a failure."

Read more here.

Over the past few years, Apple has had a market cap anywhere from $400 billion to $650 billion, depending on a wide variety of factors. The federal government has been spending north of $3.5 trillion a year for a while now and, unlike Apple, it can't go out of business even if it keeps rolling out crap devices.

And speaking of resources for technology, you may have heard that the National Security Agency never seems to be at a loss when it comes to surveilling your Facebook page, phone calls, and emails.

NEXT: Obamacare Stumbles Out of the Gate With Technical Difficulties

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  1. …unlike Apple, it can’t go out of business even if it keeps rolling out crap devices.

    Although management can be replaced by the stockholders. We just chose not to do that.

    1. and unlike Apple, it can force you to buy crap devices.

      1. and unlike Apple, there’s no Samsung to turn to. Unless you move to a new country, which is more likely to be like Nokia.

      2. Four more years….derp

  2. I refuse to give Apple any money?

    Is she sure she wants the same approach?

    1. Can I use this as an official government position that I dont have to pay taxes?

    2. ^This.

      Not counting Quicktime, the last Apple product I “owned” was the family Apple IIGS when I was in elementary school.

      I also tend to avoid being an early adopter like the plague these days, so I’d say the OC system is getting the same treatment from a lot of us.

  3. Excuse me, but I gave Apple no slack and mocked them horribly for every mistake.

    I’ll gladly do the same for these Piece of shit identity theft exchanges.

  4. I eagerly away the Android of government.

    1. Only if it has root access.

    2. Don’t worry, DARPA is working on the androids.

  5. I’ve heard this kind of thing before, which seems to indicate not that they disagree with their opposition so much as they simply cannot *understand* the opposition point of view.

    “You guys are for entrepreneurship and risk, right? Well, we’re doing an entrepreneur-y government program, full of risk, so why don’t you get on board, you hypocrites!”

    They vigorously beat up that straw man, apparently because they actually believe that straw man represents their opponents’ position!

    1. Their entire approach is riddled with that. ‘We are just creating markets, it is a market based approach.’

      1. The government: “You are free to buy insurance at rates we set, but you are not free to go without insurance.”


    2. It’s at the center of the Von Mises and Lange dispute. Lange argued that if you just gave managers in a socialist ran factory a profit like incentive in its outcomes you would replicate the productive aspect of capitalism by turning the manager into an entrepreneur. Von Mises countered that management and entrepreneurial activity are not the same function. An entrepreneur creates the conditions where markets clear by creating a higher value for goods. No cookie for the socialist.

  6. I am so happy this cunning stunt is no longer in my state. I am also very sad at the same time she is now fucking up the entire country.

  7. Just like when Apple rolls out a new product?

    That analogy is so monumentally stupid that it’s quite evident that Sebelius has an outsized share of slack between her ears.

    1. Blasphemy! And an insult to J.R. “Bob” Dobbs.

  8. Last I checked my Apple product worked the first day I bought it.

  9. That’s ’cause Apple don’t pull people’s arms out of their sockets when they fail. Governments are known to do that.

  10. I wait until the bugs have been worked out.

    Is she giving me that option?

    1. No, but you can go buy an android. I mean a real one to put your brain in. Because that will be cheaper than a lifetime of premiums under ObamaCarousel.

      1. A fully functional android?

        1. Kinda defeats the purpose to move your brain to an android that doesn’t work, don’t you think?

          1. You’re talking about working according to design; I’m talking about the design itself…

      2. Can I run Ubuntu on a chroot?

        1. It’ll run out of memory and swap out the “blood flow to the brain” app.

          1. That’s only if you try to run Kubuntu.


  11. I just got the strangest urge to listen to “Walk Like an Egyptian.”

    1. +painting on the tomb

      1. Sleeveless is not her friend.

  12. If there’s not quite the operational excellence right away, we’ll continue to press for that.

    Just don’t expect them to be held personally accountable for any shortcomings.

  13. in the mid 90’s people were in effect asking Apple to stop producing devices that didn’t work.

  14. People don’t give Apple any slack. At least not in the sources I read from. If government were held to the same standard as Apple it would work a whole lot better. Sebelius doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

    1. What we need are competing governments. We just buy whatever we want from each.

      1. Yes! Voluntarily!

        Sign up with Honest Murray’s Defense Corporation. Become a citizen of Mr. Lee’s Greater Hong Kong!

        1. Damn it, I was about to make a Mr Lee’s joke.

        2. However, the problem with the Snow Crash competing governments is that they were still territory based.

          Mr Lee’s may have been non-contiguous but it was still a “this neighborhood is a Mr Lee’s and that neighborhood is a whatever and etc”.

          We need to break the connection between territory and government.

          1. There was the Distributed Republic, though, right? that seemed mostly non-territorial.

            But yea, no more monopoly on force in a geographical area.

            1. That was Diamond Age, which had a mish-mash of contiguous and non-contiguous areas.

          2. Well, you have the Catholic Church as a model. It has it’s own justice system, it’s own hierarchy of leadership, participation is voluntary and it’s supported by voluntary contributions from it’s members. Not only that, it’s outlasted damn near every government on the planet, and has no geological boundaries.

  15. Today has just been great. I can’t believe how good I feel at the thought of all those looters at home. The shrieking of the progressives! How angry they are!

    It really is libertarian Christmas! I can’t get the smile off my face!

    Also: I’m amazed at the level of low-info voters I work with. “There’s still police, right? You mean food might not be inspected?!?”

    1. I’ve been waiting all week to buy some rancid meat. Today is finally the day!

      1. What, no DIY spirit? Buy regular meat and make it rancid.

        1. You mean home meat? I am too civic-minded for that.

          I won’t eat rancid meat until the government stops inspecting it.

  16. Semi OT, and aplogies if this was posted in the morning links, but I couldn’t let this high quality gem of DERP potentially go unposted:

    If only Obamacare had been around, Walter White wouldn’t have had to become a meth dealer.


  17. speaking as a computer geek, once software (or website) gets a bad rap, it’s hard to change the user’s perception. Of course having a captive group helps.

    “Why the Soviet WRKR-9000 is the finest communist computer ever made. It plays pong like a champion!”

    1. I’ve been loving the expectation managing that’s been going on with this. I thought there was a lot leading up to it, but wow, it’s even failing to meet those lowered expectations.

      1. Does it matter? So long as it’s in place, however mundane it is and however few promises it meets, its supports will laud it as the second third coming. Because the entirety of the progressive chattering class has access to employer-provided alternatives. Few, if any, of those pushing for its passage, defending its inconsistencies and delays, and celebrating when it limps over the finish line will actually use the thing. That’s for plebes and proles.

  18. I can just say that as a Software Test Engineer I am so frigging glad I managed to avoid taking a job working on one of the exchanges

  19. Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends, up there in the House of Representatives, are walking into a trap, as is the Tea Party. It was *I* who allowed the Republicans to know the location of the ACA. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire Senate of my best Democrats awaits them. Oh, I’m afraid the health insurance exchanges will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

    1. Nicely done.

    2. So we can count on the Ewoks to save us from this?

      1. That would make it a lot easier to stop hating them.

        1. Yousa thinking yousa people ganna die?

          1. Maybe the Ewoks can get into a war with the Gungans, and they both lose.

    3. Give yourself to the Exchanges. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for… sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Exchange… then perhaps she will…

      1. Now that the Empire has shut down, I am defenseless. Take your Jedi weapon and strike me down.

      2. Anyone else notice that the Skywalkers make the trashiest family in the trailer look amazingly functional by comparison.

  20. I might give Apple some slack; they’re not taking my money at gun point and they might offer some good products.
    Sebelius is offering shit on a stick and is stealing my money to do so. You want ‘slack’? Screw you with a shovel.

  21. “Apple, you know, has a few more resources than we have to roll out technology, and a few more people who’ve been working on the system for a while….

    That lack of technological resources doesn’t seem to have hampered their pursuit of an all-encompassing surveillance state.

    1. Why didn’t they contract with NSA? Doesn’t she know about the Economy Act?

      1. And miss out on the opportunity to build their own empire of IT specialists? Are you kidding me? Duplication of resources and effort are their absolute favorite things.

        1. Oh yes. If thing gets defunded, the butt hurt for the SESes who have built their little empires with it is going to epic.

    2. Apple, you know, has a few more resources than we have to roll out technology, and a few more people who’ve been working on the system for a while….”

      Fucking what?

      $2.5 trillion in tax receipts last year and this silly bitch says that?

      The Feds take in something like 6x the total value of Apple Inc. in one fucking year.

      Jesus tap-dancing Christ.

      1. ^^ this. The single funniest thing here is that their credibility is their collateral.

        It goes without saying how successful our best & brightest are going to be. Anything wrong here is our inability to have faith in them. If they’re guilty of anything it’s loving too much.

  22. Fuck that bitch.

    *I know, I know, that’s why there aren’t any libertarian women.

  23. I can choose not to own an Apple product, Mme. Secretary.

    1. Not owning an apple product is still commerce…just ask the Supremes.

  24. When there is a problem, users do complain loudly and Apple fixes the issue quickly. Or users find a way around the problem (i.e. Google Maps app). Apple users have very high expectations. They usually wait longer for new version of products then, say Samsung users do. So they expect the device to be bug free right from the get go. I’d say this is more like a roll out of a new Windows version, which has to work on many different platforms and usually takes a year to make patches for it to work out the bugs. Or this may be Windows Vista and it is not fixed and a new Windows version is released that actually works well. The problem with this is, there is no choice to hold to the Windows XP. We have to use Vista until Windows 7 comes out. But I doubt that will happen.

    1. And Windows 7 would be a piece of crap too and then we’d get fucking single payer Windows 2000

      1. More like Windows ME.

      2. You kidding. Single payer only works on Windows ME.

  25. Whatever, Kathleen. SlackLabia McWrinkleNeck is happy that the exchanges are crashing. They can spin it as “overwhelming demand.”

    1. Good luck with that. I am not sure that one will work too well. People don’t like response when it is for concert tickets. I can’t see them buying it when it is to get health insurance they are required by law to buy.

      And don’t forget, a large number of Obama’s low information, low IQ supporters are convinced this entire thing is free. They are not going to be happy when the web site that is going to give them their free shit crashes.

      1. seen a few sticker shock tweets… of course this is a hard thing to get a handle on since no one is reporting on the (captive) consumer’s response.

      2. “Hey, this web site isn’t working. It’s not showing the free options.”

  26. Which exchange did she use and what plan did she sign up for?

    1. Exchanges are for the little people.

  27. So, serious question here. These exchanges are mostly meant to help the poor, right? The people who couldn’t afford insurance before? And I keep hearing on the radio how it’s these same poor people who don’t have regular internet access (that’s why public libraries are “vital”). So who decided that the way to go on this was to set up a service where its intended user would have the hardest time accessing it?

    1. These exchanges are mostly meant to spend money and dole out contracts and favors. But you knew that.

  28. Last time I checked, buying Apple products is voluntary, so this analogy is a no-go from the get-go.

    These people have absolutely no understanding of the difference between voluntary relationships and violently coerced ones, Nick. None. But you knew that.

    Apple, you know, has a few more resources than we have

    Are you fucking. Kidding. Me.

    1. Are you fucking. Kidding. Me.

      This was my response. That she could say something like that and not be immediately challenged is sad.

      1. Well, I mean, I suppose it’s in some sense true, since Apple has a ton of smart engineers, competent organization, some amount of accountability, and people who give a shit about whether they succeed or fail. Maybe that’s what she meant.

        1. Oh, you think she meant “Apple has more ability than we do” instead of resources?

          Yeah, that’s completely true.

    2. Well, Harry Reid already thinks the tax system is voluntary, so there’s that.

      1. Not paying up is a voluntary choice on your part to wind up in jail.

    3. Are you fucking. Kidding. Me.

      Apple has equity. The concept of your assets exceeding your liabilities is borderline magical to someone in government.

      1. Government is one big liability with barely any assets.

  29. Worldwide, almost 1.5 billion people use iPhones. There are only 300 million people in the US and most of them are on Medicare or employer insurance. So, we’re looking at what, about 20 million, at the most? Compared to over 1 billion?

    I guess they don’t do math.

    1. The sales pitch used to sell Obamacare was that 30-45 million Americans were without insurance. And millions more have already been dropped from their employer plans because of Obamacare.

      And the dims hope that a couple of million will sign up on the exchanges over the next 6 months – in reality they’ll be lucky to get 1/10 that number.

      But it’s totally a success!

      1. half of them were supposed to get insurance through expanded medicaid, not the exchanges.

  30. They can spin it as “overwhelming demand.”

    That’s on the GoogleNews right now.

  31. That she could say something like that and not be immediately challenged consumed by the fires of hell is sad.

    1. The fires of hell are obviously affected by the shutdown.

  32. First Susan Rice; now this. I’m surprised there are any female *Democrats*, the way that party has been sacrificing teh grrlz to THE STUPID.

    1. What’s the alternative? Living like their Republican moms juggling a career and a family while balancing a checkbook? That’s so last century. EBT card, bitches!

  33. “Hopefully they’ll give us the same slack they give Apple…”

    You’re holding it wrong.

  34. Just like Apple, huh? Well after Apple released its maps disaster, Apple fired the executives involved. Is Sebelius volunteering to be fired?

  35. Just as I suspected, proglodyte conspiracy theorists are already grumbling about the exchange website downtime possibly being the result of a DDoS launched by vindictive Tea Party types. I’m looking forward to reading the first editorials officially speculating on this.

  36. This stupid cunt needs to learn WHY people call it “jailbreaking”.

  37. If my iPad becomes a paperweight, it’s annoying but not my only option for computer access and the internet.

    If my health insurance crashes and burns, it could destroy me financially and possibly even result in my death.

    Even if I cut the ACA the same slack I cut Apple, it wouldn’t be enough to cover their mess.

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