Zero Tolerance

Students Suspended Over Using Nerf Gun Brought to School for Lesson on Probability

Edmonds, Wash.


don't shoot

Another casualty of zero tolerance, this time in a middle school in Edmonds, Washington. Via the New York Daily News:

Several students at a Washington state elementary school were suspended after shooting guns at school, except the weapons were only harmless Nerf guns and the kids say it was their teacher who permitted them to bring them to class.

Regardless of the weapons being toys, the children violated the school's "zero tolerance" policy on guns of any kind when they were caught shooting off the foam darts Friday before class, administrators said…

A school district spokeswoman told KATU that the decision was strictly based on the children's safety.

"Even if it's a toy, we take it seriously," spokeswoman Amanda Ralston said.

Not the first time a nerf gun caused a freak out.

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  1. Those do look kind of like Liberators, if you squint and are retarded.

  2. They do realize the backlash is coming, right? You can’t go all out moron with your policies and expect people will be let it slide forever.

    1. Explain at least the last 13 years of public policy then.

      1. 13 years? This particular brand of moronic policy has been in place at least since the 1980’s. There are similarly ridiculous stories every couple of months over the last 20 years, and “zero tolerance” only seems to grow in power.

        These days there is a chance that you won’t just get expelled from school under zero tolerance, but you might also be charged with a crime – perhaps even as an adult.

        The power of stupid is inexorable.

    2. Yes you can. It’s been accomplished many times.

  3. I’ll assume the teacher who allowed — even encouraged — this was suspended without pay for the same time. Right?

  4. Because terrorism, something.

    1. Terrierism?! *shits pants* How do we make sure this kid never sees the light of day again?

      1. Mandatory minimums, zero tolerance policies, three strikes laws, having “school resource officers” arrest kids for what used to be handled with a trip to the principal’s office.

        1. Mandatory minimums, zero tolerance policies, three strikes laws, having “school resource officers” arrest kids for what used to be handled with a trip to the principal’s office.

          It’s almost like laws work or something.

  5. “Even if it’s a toy, we take it seriously,” spokeswoman Amanda Ralston said.

    I respectfully submit that Amanda Ralston should be euthanized by nerfing.

    1. I would pay to watch that. All proceeds to fund “Don’t Be A Fucking MORON” training for school administrators.

  6. What, no trigger-warning on the top of the article before showing us a picture of that ghastly fully automatic semi-auto assault weapon?

  7. Major squirrels with your link, Ed.

  8. If only there was some way to tell the difference between a lethal weapon and a delightfully entertaining nerf gun. The world will just have to wait.

  9. Oh, also:

    Students Suspended Over Using Nerf Gun Brought to School for Lesson on Probability

    “The probability you will be suspended for this is right about 100%….THAT’LL LEARN YA!”

  10. What toy exactly removes all possibility of injury? Balloons? Nope, when they pop, you could burst an eardrum. Marbles? Get real…super destructive…especially when you spill them. Playing cards? No way man…seen those cut apples in half…imagine what they do to our precious little Angels. Baseball bats? YOU CAN”T BE SERIOUS. I know I know…Play Doh. You can even eat it!

    1. well, you can’t have 100% thinking and 100% security.

    2. Earth worms?

    3. True story: My junior year in high school we were serving out the last few hours of school after exams as is the custom – by goofing off. We were tossing a Frisbee back and forth in class when in walked Ms. Bowen (picture a tiny little math teacher of advanced age who has trouble getting her students to take her seriously). She ordered us to hand over the dangerous implement and lectured us that we might get hurt. In response Kenny uttered the greatest line in the history of sarcasm:

      “That’s right Ms. Bowen! I had this friend and one time he got decapitated and he had to go to the hospital!”

      She didn’t miss a beat, bless her soul,”That’s right, it could happen!”

  11. This was clearly an under reaction. I want to know why a swat team wasn’t brought in to deal with this. Don’t tell me the statists are slacking.

  12. I’m actually afraid this tactic may be working. The current generation of children are going to be so fearful of any kind of weapon that they will be unable to defend themselves against their own government. Fucking statist educrats.

    1. I think it more likely the constant barrage of scares and false alarums will lead to the realization that the state is synonymous with cowardly bunglers. At some point people just write off constant threats as the boy who cried wolf.

      They will still want their free stuff, but they will think of the government as populated by stupid people are don’t have a clue what they are talking about. Like the crazy aunt (Samantha?) who hands out all sorts of goodies when she visits, but always with warnings about the dangers of the goodies, look both ways twice, always wear galoshes, don’t forget your scarf and gloves, wear suntan and dark glasses and always cover up, don’t walk barefoot on beaches or grass ….

    2. If they keep telling kids that weapons are deadly and anyone with one is dngerous, what happens when a kid wants to be dangerous?

  13. “”Even if it’s a toy, we take it seriously,” spokeswoman Amanda Ralston”

    There was a time in America when people were not so willing to candidly admit they were idiots…

    1. i’ll treasure this. thank you.

  14. Wow I neve thought about it liek that.

  15. Gateway toys.

    The country has lost its collective mind.

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  17. The school should breathe a collective sigh of relief that it wasn’t a Pop-Tart in the shape of a gun. Not only would that have been just as “serious” a threat, but, unlike a nerf dart, it would have also contributed to the obesity problem!

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