CPAC is Whack, 2013 Edition, by former Reasoner Michael Moynihan

Former Reasoner Michael C. Moynihan, now hanging his byline at The Daily Beast, has an engaging column about the upcoming Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) annual hoo-hah, which starts tomorrow in D.C. - at a hotel called The Gaylord, if you can believe it.
…a look at the 2013 CPAC speakers list doesn't suggest the [main organizer, the American Conservative Union] ACU is particularly worried about conservatism's future. There's a smattering of new blood—including the insurgent triumvirate of Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Marco Rubio. But attendees also will get a large serving of stale ideas from Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Allen West, Rick Santorum, Mitch McConnell, Wayne LaPierre, Rick Perry, and, of course, Mitt Romney. One revealing ideological omission, and one that has largely passed without comment, is the lack of neoconservative voices at the conference, save one panel discussion on Iran. And it's perhaps indicative of the party's drift toward more libertarian ideas that CPAC kicks off with a discussion called "Too Many American Wars? Should We Fight Anywhere and Can We Afford It?" Try getting that past the ACU in 2007.

Yet, concludes Moynihan, CPAC is mostly about enforcing a narrow definition of what it means to be a conservative and a Republican. That explains not allowing the gay rights group GOProud to participate and keeping Gov. Chris Christie (R-N.J.) off the dais.
Here we are, in 2013, and conservatism's biggest gathering wants to ensure that the Republican Party maintains ideological purity and the ability to consistently lose elections.
In 2011, Reason TV and Moynihan covered CPAC's "Gay Wars." Here's a vid on that topic and here's one from Andrew Breitbart's "Big Gay Party" at CPAC featuring Sophie B. Hawkins.
In 2012, Reason TV talked with CPAC attendees and Occupy protesters (remember them?) at the event. Take a look:
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Well, Christie isn't really a conservative, so I don't think it's too odd that CPAC didn't invite him.
Al Sharpton would disagree, if anyone cared about what Al Sharpton says.
Why oh why do I get sucked into watching his show at the gym???!
Same reason you slow down at car wrecks.
Because the republicans ran an ideologically pure conservative in the last presidential election and that's why they lost?
and Dems never run their version of ideologically pure. That whole phrase is just stupid on steroids. Each party has its various litmus tests but the Dems are much better at minimizing their excesses while Repubs have turned maximizing the worst among them into an art form.
It's impossible for conservatives (or liberals to be "ideologically pure" because these philosophies' "principles" are derived solely from arbitrary hodgepodges of special interests and their current status in the halls of power.
How broad a definition of "conservative" would you need to invite Christie, a noted supporter of Obama?
On the other hand, they did invite Romney. I guess you draw a very narrow, squiggly line between Romney and Christie?
Remember RC, Nick will excoriate Republicans for not kicking the big government wing out of the party. But somehow CPAC is in the wrong for not inviting the biggest of big government Republicans. This whole post is one giant WTF.
Yet, concludes Moynihan, CPAC is mostly about enforcing a narrow definition of what it means to be a conservative and a Republican.
Isn't it a bit rich for a Libertarian publication to criticize another organization for being too no true Scotsman? And Christie is just the type of big government sellout that Reason constantly bitches about in every other context. Now you are going to complain about CPAC not inviting him? Are you fucking kidding me Nick?
Here's a lovely anti-gay screed on exactly why those homos shouldn't be at CPAC. Some choice excerpts:
You missed the part about Bradley Manning being a member of the dreaded gay conservative movement, whatever that is.
I thought that was covered in gays being "prone to...treason." Seriously dude is just unhinged.
I have never been a believer in the whole over compensation thing. But that article makes me wonder. If you really are that obsessed with gays and convinced they are that malevolent, even though they are like 2% of the society, there just might be some self loathing going on.
Today, this monster wants to impose itself on our children in the schools and even the Boy Scouts of America
I guess I'm not the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown.
Uh oh, is this a full-blown identity crisis? Do you need a juicebox? Perhaps something stronger?
He cries like a child, but he'll always be a woman to me.
Like a child?!?
Shh, Epi, it's okay, Warty fully intends to hold you for the longest time.
Billy Joel riffs?? I don't even know who you are anymore...you are just a Stranger now.
Work harder and maybe you can reclaim the title.
Look, I'm--I'm pretty hardcore. I mean, I've been known to do a number on plenty of guys.
I'm quite comfortable with my confused sexuality.
CEI is hosting the most gaily named discussion at CPAC. Apparently they named it this just to make sure CPAC wouldn't be able to claim they'd been snookered. Jimmy LaSalvia the head of GOProud witll be there.
A Rainbow on the Right: Growing the Coalition, Bringing Tolerance Out of the Closet
Free-market libertarians are used to going it alone ? or close to it ? when it comes to the issues of the day. So it is particularly important we not reject willing supporters. Yet, with respect to gay conservatives and others, this has been precisely the case. How do we move past old differences and join together to push the ideas we share? How do we achieve acceptance or even affirmation for all who seek liberty in today's political debate? Join us as a panel of thinkers, writers and activists debate the damage done to our brand and the new opportunities for progress that have emerged. Cocktail reception to follow. [emphasis mine]
Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Allen West, Rick Santorum, Mitch McConnell, Wayne LaPierre, Rick Perry,
Good fucking God.
I know. Its almost enough to make me hope the Repubs do commit hara-kiri by passing universal gun registration in the House.
Almost.
The funny thing about that is that if they did, it would never get out of the Senate. So they would not only kill their careers, they would do so for a bill that wouldn't ever become law.
And I would imagine such a bill would end a few Democrats' careers as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuGtxt84wPQ
BUSHPIG!! CHRISTFAG!! BUSHPIG!!
Let it out Shriek. Be sure to jerk off some more and throw some more shit. That is why Reason keeps you around.
Next you will tell me Trump is speaking at CPAC.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuGtxt84wPQ
BUSHPIG!!!!!!!
Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Allen West, Rick Santorum, Mitch McConnell, Wayne LaPierre, Rick Perry
You can't really argue with Shiek on the pure unadulterated awfulness of that list.
Of course, you throw Rick Santorum and Nukular titties into any mix, and it spoils the entire lot.
Just because the monkey occasionally shits in the toilet, doesn't mean he is house trained. West and Palin are very popular. And Perry is the governor of the second largest and most successful state in the country. Hard to imagine any Republican governor of Texas not being invited. McConnell is a Senator at least.
As for the rest of them, they are just on the rubber chicken circuit and will show up at anything because they have nothing else to do.
Gov. Goodhair always has the potential for some comedy. Maybe he'll make secession noises again. That's always a fun time.
Whatever you think of Perry, his trolling California inviting businesses to move to Texas was classic.
Oh, hell yeah. Spent maybe 20 grand on an ad buy and got the world to respond? Somebody in his office was a genius with that whole stunt.
I agree. Also, I haven't heard that much that was bad about Allen West, but maybe that's only because I wasn't paying attention.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jorge_Bergoglio
Lighten up Francis.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6cxNR9ML8k
Any of you homos touch my regalia, and I'll excommunicate you!
CPAC Style Guide
I now want to attend CPAC wearing cargo shorts, my five fingers, and a Slayer t-shirt.
Fuck, I'm going in a miniskirt, spray tan, and nothing else.
Why ya gotta jock Boehner's style?
How does Gingrich, Palin, West, and Santorum qualify as a "lack of neoconservative voices"?
Because none of them are former liberals or neocon beyond anything but the most careless meaning of the term.
Neocon is like nonplussed apparently, people just decided it should mean something else than it originally did...
Gingrich - NeoCon
Santorum - SoCon
Palin - Slightly goofy NeoCon/Conservative hybrid. Nice bod though!
West - ??? I need help here, uhh, Uncle Tom?
The Pope is an Argentine. I knew it would be someone from the Americas.
He's a Jesuit. I'm excited about it.
Isn't Jesuit, Latin for "communist"?
God's Marines
I don't think -- not sure -- that he's part of the liberation theology
I was being a smartass. Apparently he is anything but that. The Leftist Jesuits hate him.
He's the first commie pope. So his job is to spread communism around the globe. Obama will be so jealous. Maybe he will be the first pope to get taken out by drone.
Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Marco Rubio will be attending as well. Bad idea. This is an attempt by the GOP to whip those three back into the Party fold. I would tell the Party to, "fuck off, we won't get co-opted like so many Tea Party candidates before us."
I'm not so sure that Rubio was ever outside the fold. Cruz? Too soon to tell, but I am not too optimistic about him. So far he seems to be mostly a grandstander, trying to keep tea party favor, but I don't really feel he's sincere. We'll see.
Rand? No way, he'll never be in the fold. He may play politics with those guys, but he'll always be Libertarian, and vote that way.
First act is to reheat the English Reformation by demanding the Anglicans return the Falkland Islands to Papal authority.
After he went bawling to Congress to spend federal tax dollars bailing out his state's mess, I would have thought the shine would have been off Christie's apple here.
You would think so. Whining for Christie not being included and this little gem
Here we are, in 2013, and conservatism's biggest gathering wants to ensure that the Republican Party maintains ideological purity and the ability to consistently lose elections.
Didn't Reason just spend the entire year of 2012 bitching and moaning that the Republicans nominated a big government sellout? And now they are saying this? This is example number 500 of why I have no idea why anyone listens to Gillespie. You have to be fucking kidding me.
Gillespie didn't write that, to be fair
CPAC always brings back fond memories.
Please get the mug of that fat fuck off the screen! I can't stand the sight of fatboy any longer after I saw him waddling down the street hugging all over the jug eared one. I still get gag reflex just imagining it.
Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Allen West, Rick Santorum, Mitch McConnell, Wayne LaPierre, Rick Perry, and, of course, Mitt Romney.
Stale. Okay.
keeping Gov. Chris Christie (R-N.J.) off the dais.
Not stale. Seriously? He is just Romney whom the voters haven't turned against yet.
I turned on Christie a long time ago. He's just a super sized mouthier version of Charlie Crist. CPAC can be rightly critisized for blocking GOProud but Christie deserves his snub.
dUDE LOOKS LIKE HE CAN PUT DOWN SOME CHEESEBURGERS! wOW.
http://www.EliteAnon.tk