NYT Asks: Will Mitt Romney's Muffin-Eating Habits Alienate Immigrants? Or Just Remind Us of Seinfeld?
Via Hot Air comes a link to one of the saddest political commentaries in recent memory: a broadside against GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney's Seinfeldian preference for eating just muffin tops rather than the "stumps."
As Stan Lee used to say in his Soapbox column in Marvel Comics, read on, Macduff!:
SOME supporters of Mitt Romney, in an effort to make him seem more human (or at least humanoid), have been disseminating a story, first told by a biographer, about how their candidate has a charmingly eccentric habit: he eats only the tops of muffins. His theory is that during the baking process, the butter sinks to the bottom. This story conveys so many things: our guy is an everyday Joe — he eats muffins, not crumpets. And look, even his breakfast is an opportunity to make disciplined decisions — just think how he'll do with the budget.
The author of the New York Times piece is Marie Myung-Ok Lee, who teaches creative writing at Columbia. Her father, she notes, was a staunch Republican whose experiences during the Korean War transformed him into a waste-nothing kind of guy. Indeed, Lee writes,
Despite being a physician, he happily ate foods tipping into rancidity. He drank sour milk. He reheated coffee. He once bought some Sheba Tender Terrine with Turkey and Chicken dinners, impressed by their cheapness, and would not be dissuaded from finishing his supply when we informed him with horror that it was cat food….
The big finish:
I can only imagine what he would have had to say about a presidential candidate so heedless he eats only the top off a muffin. No matter how loyal a Republican, my father would likely have declared Mr. Romney a very silly, profligate man — not the kind of man to be trusted with his precious tax money. Perhaps his vote would have gone to a Democrat for the first time ever. Politico has declared the Asian-American vote "key for both parties." Will muffin-top-gate cause other immigrant parents to join their Democratic-leaning children?
Read the whole thing here. Weep for your country on your own time.
Let's ignore Lee's (and the Times') uncritical acceptance the notion that the Asian-American vote will swing the election (or that there's a group mentality shared by Pacific Islanders, Koreans, Chinese, Japanese, and others included in what the government calls Asian Americans). The Politico story linked in Lee's piece notes that a wide majority of Asian Americas voted for Obama in 2008 and he's expected to win a majority this time around. But a Mittens spokesman tells Politico "we're going to show the Asian community that we care," so, you know, things will be different this time.
If this is what is passing for insightful, or even funny, political commentary, we have once again entered a world in which politics imitates situation comedy.
Write it down, kids: If comedy = tragedy + time, then politics = Seinfeld + time. Back in the 1990s, that great excresence of late-capitalism built a whole episode around the preference for muffin tops. Indeed, the show even built in a class-warfare angle, with a homeless advocate angrily protesting the donation of uneaten "muffin stumps" to the down and out.
Watch the whole thing here, redacted to just the plot about the muffin tops.
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Top o' the muffin to ya!
Do you really need the exclamation point? It's not "Top o' the muffin to you!"
As counter-programming to bad political commentary, here's the advertisement that I always wished someone would run. Starting with Bill Clinton it would be easy to simply play clips from any politician a few weeks back and contrast with what he said today. The RNC put together an ad that entirely consists of Obama tropes about the future from 2008 directly paired with the identical statements from 2012. In this case it it the consistency that is damning, not the flip/flop - which I suppose is novel in politics.
Of course, if I was doing it, I'd be running ads of all his speechifying about closing Guantanamo, the Patriot Act, Illegal Wars, Ending the War On Drugs, etc. and pairing them with the actual facts 4 years later. But somehow I doubt the RNC wants to go there..
Clearly Ms. Lee has been dipping into some of her 9-year-old son's marijuana stash. Still, you have to give some respect to the mother of the youngest person to be able to use the excuse "I was gonna go to class, but then I got high..."
Wouldn't you get high if she was your mom? She's overjoyed that the marijuana cookie is organic. I'd bite people, too.
I don't even think her son is truly autistic. She's just so self-involved that she can't meaningfully interact with him. So, she declares him autistic, the trendiest of soccer mom diseases.
My guess is she is the autistic one. The kid is probably half way normal.
On his 18th birthday: "I could talk all along, mother. You just wouldn't shut up about how you supposedly diagnosed me with cancer from a slight limp to hear me. Thanks for all the weed, but I'm fucking out of here you loon."
The best part of the essay:
Well, duh! That's why it's called "Mellow Yellow".
Fifty instances of biting, punching or kicking a day? Are you sure this wasn't toddler fight club?
I've made it to 42 and I've never hit anyone with a folding chair. I feel like such a failure.
But you have made up for it by microaggressing every single day
Yeah, you're a loser.Here's video of Prof. Lee's kid in action.
30 to 50 in a day, with a high of 300?! I have discipline problems in school, and I was NEVER this bad.
That should be "had" discipline problems in school.
Or maybe they don't want to associate with the son of someone who wrote Night of the Chupacabra.
My God what a freak show. I am not sure which is worse, that this woman exists or that she feels the need to write about it.
Or maybe they don't want to associate with the son of someone who wrote Night of the Chupacabra.
You're always told to "write what you know." She knows chupacabras.
Nick, part of my brain is liquifying, and I only read this article. You actually had to read about how someone's dad who was so cheap he ate cat food would probably not vote for Romney because he wastes half his muffins. And then you had to write about it. Christ man, whatever you're paid it's nowhere near enough for this sort of suffering
I rummaging around my old Army stuff - there has to be a medal I can send him.
Nick Gillespie - reading the unreadable, so you don't have to!
That's worth an AAM, at least.
is that first pic part of the John collection of titillating womynz?
There are plenty of Asian countries where people eat bugs.
Once you eat bugs, you really have no reason to not eat cat food. At least if it's cooked.
Fried grasshoppers and waterbugs aren't that bad, really. They go well with Thai beer. (Fried duck bill also is a good bar food.) I never really got into my wife's ant-egg curry though.
As desert survivalist Cody Lundin put it in his book, "if you knew what was in a hot dog you would prefer to eat bugs".
"we're going to show the Asian community that we care"
Ah, so.
Wow, Nick, way to reduce women to body parts and reinforce negative body image issues with that first pic. Otherer!
you're assuming that's a woman. Way to other someone with Froehlich's Syndrome
It's Dunlop's Disease (the belly done lopped over the top!).
I almost threw up my breakfast because of the pic.
Oh, come on. It's not like it's a .gif of that belly jogging in slow motion.
Why didn't she listen when her mother explained that you have to hide your flaws? Basically any women over a size 2 is going to look awful in those pants. Honey only the thin girls can dress like that.
What's that sidearm she's packing?
A Smith and Wesson Oil?
I disagree. A lot of women simply don't acquire fat on their bellies, any more than men put fat on their hips. So even if they could stand to loose 20 lbs they can look great in low-waisted pants.
*lose*
Damnit, John, you've infected me!
BWAAA!!!!
Despite being a physician, her father was idiotic.
I think I should come back to HR after Nov. 6.
HR = Hit [ampersand] Run
Four more years of Obama, and we'll all be eating cat food. BOOM! OH YEAH!!
This should work for him...it works for me. My muffin eating habits make for a very happy marriage.
The top half of the muffin is the more delicious part anyway. Seinfeld did it!
Well now that makes a lot of sense when you think about it dude. Wow.
http://www.Anon-IP.tk
I hate the term "Asian American." "Chinese Americans" have nothing in common with "Japanese Americans" or "Vietnamese Americans" or "Korean American" or any other nationality that stems from that continent, and to lump us all into one single category only highlights the ignorance of politicians. All they see are the slanted eyes and figure: "If I can't tell the difference, then there must not be one."
"Latino American" is a similar issue. Are Brazillians, Mexicans and Ecuadorians all the same? The idea that anyone can speak with authority and generalize about broad swaths of individuals and what they do or don't believe and what experiences they have or haven't had is preposterous.
Brazilians actively take offense to being compared with the rest of South America. Imagine how an American would feel if he was lopped together with French Canadians, and that's about how your average Brazilian feels when being lopped in with Hondurans.
African Americans are in even worse shape, since no one even gives a crap which part of the continent they came from. At least Asian Americans and Latino Americans have a more specific designation they can use.
For a 2nd generation Korean-American, she sounds like she knows very little about Korean culture.
First, old school Koreans don't always refrigerate leftovers. You cook food, leave the pot out, warm it up the next day, and eat it again.
Second, her dad probably had a case of 'Gangnam Style' judging from his splurging on a Burberry scarf. In other words, her dad's cheapness was a means not an end. He was being cheap in order to accumulate wealth, aspiring to be rich enough (like Romney) that he too could afford to throw the muffin bottoms away. The conspicuous consumption in Korean culture (Gangnam fever) makes Koreans never feel like they have enough money. You always notice people with a newer car, newer cellphone, or newer handbag which makes you feel poor.
Third, no Korean would say their dad came from 'Korea' after the war. You would say 'North Korea' or 'South Korea'. And you definitely wouldn't lump your dad in with 'Asians'.
Lastly, Mitt Romney actually has a reputation for being cheap in his day to day life. The only thing he's known for freely spending money on is this political campaign. You could say that's his Burberry scarf.
PSY will now be referenced at least once in any thread remotely connected with Korea.
I prefer the stumps to the tops.
I start from the bottom and work to the tops.
And I would prefer the bottom, too, if not for that papery taste.
"On the other hand, there is one part of Mitt Romney's story that would appeal to my father....My father always found the American culture of pets ? with special food (not to mention a special doctor) just for the dog ? preposterous. Our childhood longing for a pet bedeviled him. It's possible he might have been one with the logic of Mr. Romney's executive decision to strap the family dog, in a crate, to the roof of the car, thereby keeping the luggage clean and safe inside. In the pet department at least, my father would have thought the man had his priorities straight. Perhaps he would have forgiven him the muffin tops after all."