Cops May Throw Wet Blanket on Nude Maid Service
A 26-year old single mom in Texas decided she'd kick-start her own economic recovery last month, starting the Lubbock Fantasy Maid Service, a housekeeping service with nude maids. The New York Daily News reports:
[Melissa Borrett said] she came up with the idea while working as a waitress at a local strip club, where she couldn't find enough work and wasn't thrilled with the management, whom she described as "chauvinistic."
"I had heard of this kind of service being available in other cities," Borrett said. "So I started the service in Lubbock, where I would have no competition so I figured it (would do well)."
Unfortunately, there's no competition for Borrett and her business in Lubbock because local law enforcement doesn't look kindly on it. In fact, they consider the service a sexually-oriented business. KCBD reports:
Lubbock Police Sergeant Jonathan Stewart disagrees. He says this is considered a sexually oriented business, and that requires a permit to operate in the city limits. Lubbock Fantasy Maid Service does not have one, so Stewart says they cannot operate.
"Just the fact employees are topless or semi nude in this case - it's just not allowed," Stewart said.
The Lubbock Fantasy Maid Service insists on its website it is not a sexually oriented business:
Lubbock Fantasy Maid Service is a maid service. While we do offer nude maid service, this is not a sexually oriented business. At no time may a client ever make physical contact with the maid. A maid may accept tips, however if a maid accepts tips for physical contact, she will be terminated immediately and the customer will not be able to schedule services with Lubbock Fantasy Maid Service again.
Why does it matter if Borrett's is a sexually oriented business? Because sexually oriented businesses requires a permit in Lubbock, and prices vary. From the webpage for the city's business permits:
The fees are in direct proportion to the funds that your business type may receive … Not all costs are published online, therefore, it is recommended that you speak with a representative of the City of Lubbock for an projected estimate.
There is no "plain English" definition of a sexually oriented business for any resident of Lubbock that might be interested in starting one, but it is defined by ordinance:
Sexually oriented business shall mean and include any commercial venture whose operations on any calendar day include: The providing, featuring or offering of one or more employees or entertainment personnel who appear while in a state of nudity, semi-nude or simulated nudity and provide live performances or entertainment intended to provide sexual stimulation or sexual gratification to customers and which is offered as a feature of a primary business activity of the venture; or, the providing, featuring or offering, as a "primary business activity," as defined herein of nonlive, sexually-explicit entertainment materials, or items for sale or rental to customers, or the providing or offering of a service or exhibition of materials or items which are intended to provide sexual stimulation or sexual gratification to its customers, said materials, items or services being distinguished by or characterized by an emphasis on subject matter depicting, describing or relating to "specified sexual activities" and/or "specified anatomical areas."
The penalty for running a sexually oriented business is $2,000, per day. We'll wait to see if the Lubbock Police Department feels Borrett's business is sexually oriented. She even offers law enforcement a discount, so maybe they can go see for themselves.
Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.
Please
to post comments
Oh thank goodness, a dedicated thread.
Hoorah. Now we don't have to keep putting something in AM Links.
Yeah, dedicated to what do the conversations afterward sound like?
"Honey, I know you had the maid come in today, so what are all these spots on the floor?"
Oh thank goodness, a dedicated thread.
Who says Reason is not sensitive to the desires of its readers commentariat?
The penalty for running a sexually oriented business is $2,000, per day.
One might think the penalty would be assessed per hour.
Hour? Oh to be young again!
Yeah, I know what you mean. I pay by the fortnight, but then I prefer serial monogamy.
Next, she'll franchise the theme as French Maid MILFs - all young single moms, guaranteed.
She even offers law enforcement a discount
Yeah, she knows how the game works.
Judgement: Not Sexually Oriented.
ALL NUDITY IS SEXUAL. You are completely sexual under your clothes right now and you don't even know it.
FOE - changing my perspective on life, one post at a time.
Duh.
You only think that because you haven't seen my ass. And because you think like that, you never will.
So it's okay as long as the city is your pimp.
"Not all costs are published online, therefore, it is recommended that you speak with a representative of the City of Lubbock for an projected estimate."
Would this 'representative of the City of Lubbock' be a cop by any chance? Isn't it common for one of them to provide an estimate of the department's cut fees, either financial or 'other considerations'for new businesses? Or am I getting them mixed up with organized crime again?
RE: Alt-Text
Duh? If there's an "outfit" involved, it's not Nude, now is it?
They have to show up wearing something right?
you've exposed (heh) why I'm not in the Naked Maid business.
Put that shriveled up thing away.
Alexandra Breckenridge as the maid in American Horror. Damn, that was hot.
Couple nice mashups of Moira
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKOMTk0OwxE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....re=related
Mein Gott
Yeah, it's great show. She's definately the whip cream on top though.
One of may favorite moments in that show was when the detective was interviewing the husband with Moira "working" in the kitchen.
After Moira leaves, the detective says "How do you do any work with that walking around?".
I think the funniest is when he was going off about her to his wife and she's looking at him like he's a loon.
Every show had at least one completely over the top, killer gag.
I anxiously await the next season.
WHAT? WHAT'S NEXT, THE BANNING OF HOME-BASED NUNS?
I would like to confess all over those.
This reminds me of the time the government shut down my nude electrician/plumber/pizza delivery boy contracting service.
no IT support? You deserved to be put out of business.
As the biggest liberal in history my ideal maid service involves not just nudity but MDMA samples, vaginal sex, and hot girl-on-girl action on my front lawn.
oh please...yours is not a liberal position at all. Lubbock, in this case, is no different than LA and its efforts to crack down on the porn industry.
Eeew.
Seriously?
That's so gross.
I don't quite get the appeal of paying someone a lot of money to clean the house nude and not get to touch them. Wouldn't it be cheaper just masturbate to internet porn?
How about masturbating to Internet porn while a nude maid clicks through the links. Then you can do it with both hands.
I'm pretty sure that breaks the rules.
You're not liberal enough. See my post above. Freedom must start somewhere.
I'm just guessing here, but maybe that whole business about not touching them is, well, a lie? You know, to cover up the prostitution going on?
Hogwash! The cops wouldn't be making such a big deal out of it if there were prostitution going on. They'd just demand their cut and leave.
They haven't figured that part out yet.
They bust them in Columbus. They have sex with them first, but then they bust them.
That to me seems likely. Probably one of those escort deals where it is nominally up to the girl if she wants to do anything.
It is up to her! So long as the bitch has my money at the end of the week.
You forgot your cane and velvet tophat sir.
Thank you. You try my bitches? Make sure they treat you right, or they'll be hearing from the back of my hand!
Say, what kind of education does pimping require? Is there a degree in Whore Management somewhere? Surely some school offers that degree.
Perhaps there's specialization beyond Whore Management. Like Whore Marketing. Or Whore Accounting. Certainly, there's Whore Law.
I would think any animal husbandry degree would be good enough.
So are there pimp consultants then?
Oh, sure. I mean, there's a consultant for every industry with revenues, right? "No, no, no, this is how you bitch slap your whores."
Maybe a tennis course to strengthen the backhand.
That makes sense. Probably Russian and Spanish, too, so the pimp can talk to his bitches.
At UT they call the undergrad degree 'Government' and then you can get a Masters in 'Public Affairs'.
Oh, Pubic Affairs. I think Florida has Pubic Administration.
In the voice of Kim Jung Un:
We offa whore rot of deglees, you choose!
Any degree from Harvard's JFK School of Government will do.
I'm sure the "security" she mentioned makes sure that happens.
In a filthy house?
Allow me to mop that up for you, sir.
she came up with the idea while working as a waitress at a local strip club, where she couldn't find enough work
I'm sure she could find enough work. She means she couldn't find enough pay. Looking at her picture, I see the problem.
I'm pretty sure everybody knows you make more money if you run the stable than you would being one of the horses.
Or should I say whorses.
right....becuase you wouldn't hit that.
Also how much cleaning could these girls really do nude? Working with chemical cleaners while naked would be ill advised.
I considered that, but light housekeeping doesn't usually, if at all, require harsh chemical cleaners. Nude just means sans the lingerie, not rubber gloves, sponges and vacuums. (I see how URKOBOLD does this. It just writes itself.)
I also imagine clients are screened and houses are inspected first to verify the level of filth is appropriate for their "services."
Otherwise, OSHA would be on their pretty little asses PDQ.
+1 alt-text
Oh, by the way, Ed K., were you researching this on your own, or is there an errant, unrealized hat tip waiting to be given?
I would make a joke about why women don't visit H&R, but I was called a twat earlier and am currently on a commenting strike.
Oh, stop being such a twat.
That's all it takes?
...any commercial venture whose operations on any calendar day include...
What if they have operations on non-calendar days?
Then they are REALLY operating outside the laws (of physics).
If she can operate on non-calendar days she's wasting her time with this schtick.
Did this nation ever have dignity? Or was there a day certain when we gave it up?
I'm not sure dignity is something nations can have.
BARE BREASTS ARE FREE SPEECH!
I'm kind of amazed that there haven't been more hypercritical comments about the appearances of the maids on here yet (surely I'm not the only one who looked at the website). Or is that just for the morning?
I don't see how what the maid service is doing fits that definition of sexually oriented business.
Because fuck you, that's why.
"Just the fact employees are topless or semi nude in this case - it's just not allowed," Stewart said.
Fuck you Stewart. I can hire a maid if I want, and I dont have a dress code at my house. See, MY HOUSE. Allowed? Fuck you Stewart.
Soup Not Poop