The Best of Reason: Monkey Herpes, Face Eating, and the Pork Chop Gang: The Origins of Florida Man
The growing anti-transparency atmosphere in the state might make the Florida Man extinct.
This week's featured article is "Monkey Herpes, Face Eating, and the Pork Chop Gang: How Public Records Laws Created the Florida Man" by C.J. Ciaramella.
This audio was generated using AI trained on the voice of Katherine Mangu-Ward.
Music credits: "Deep in Thought" by CTRL and "Sunsettling" by Man with Roses
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The bear in the trunk may have monkey herpes.
Because it fucked Jeff?
Current-day libertarians: Only because of a botched government roll-out of the free vaccine.
Not enough people collectively reasoned to find the truth of masking.
The collective consensus here is sarc and Jeff are ignorant thread shitters. Yet he doesn’t agree or comply.
Despite all the reforms to healthcare the Democrats pushed in Washington, costs for individual plans have doubled and costs for employer-provided healthcare have increased by 49%– just in the last two years.
One solution: Stop healthcare orgs from merging. In particular:
Rutman of the ACLU pushed for the Keep Our Care Act, which would prohibit hospitals from merging if the consolidation diminishes patients’ access to services, including reproductive, end-of-life and gender-affirming care.
In summary, kill babies, kill old people and make it as easy as possible to cut your dick off, remove your breasts and healthy uterus.
Think of it as “upzoning” healthcare, and providing for the “missing middle”.
Huh, my suspicions are correct, edit on Reason works about as well as eliminating single-family zoning does for reducing housing costs.
I appreciate your perspective. Editing on Reason, much like addressing housing costs, seems to face challenges. It’s crucial to explore effective solutions and consider various factors for meaningful impact. Let’s continue the dialogue on finding strategies that truly make a difference.
In summary, kill babies, kill old people and make it as easy as possible to cut your dick off, remove your breasts and healthy uterus.
A shorter way of saying it: “Copy Canada.”
A few months ago at Koch Industries HQ
Staffer: Sir, Reason magazine’s libertarian readers are threatening to revolt.
CK: What does the polling data say?
Staffer: Sir, it’s bad. Real bad. They are now taking shots at Haley and even making puns about you.
CK: Goddam it, get Brown off the Roundup. Now! Tell her…tell her she can do ten abortion articles a week. I don’t give a shit. Just get her off it. And remind all staff to not mention sandwiches to her anymore. Last time I thought we would have have a goddam eight figure lawsuit on our hands. To calm her down, I had to hire a food truck operated by a sex worker. I had to pay that fucker to drive by her apartment every day for two months. Two months!
Staffer: Consider it done sir. She won’t like this. Even if we do the food truck thing again.
CK: Goddamit no. That’s the only time I ever pay a sex worker and not get any. If she’s still upset, tell her…tell her on Fridays she can touch Robbie’s hair. That always makes me feel like a schoolgirl when I do.
Staffer: But sir, who’s going to do the Roundup? Polling shows the libertarians won’t trust any of the current talent. Maybe try Ron?
CK: Goddamit no! He’s there to keep the people at my Wednesday night baccarat game happy. Something about their grandkids follow this Swedish girl on Twitter. Just keep him where he is.
Staffer: But, but sir? Who? Nick?!?!
CK: No. He’ll ask for a jacket stipend again. Bring in the Wolfe!
Staffer: Are you sure? That’s an extreme measure sir.
CK: If Reason wants libertarian, give them the Wolfe! I’m sick of these low numbers. I’m sick of readers making fun of me like I’m Stalin.
Just make sure she signs the agreement: no Haley hit pieces and nothing that highlights our open borders. Pay her the standard deal with performance bonuses. Dangle some merch possibility without committing.
Staffer: Understood sir.
CK: One more thing.
Staffer: Sir?
CK: Drop a Webathon after the Argentina elections. I’ve paid off the ballot counters again. The winner has been instructed to mention Reason. That should bring in some cash. I’ll never catch Musk if I keep having to bankroll this thing.
And remind all staff to not mention sandwiches to her anymore.
Had me laughing here. Good work.
If we ever do a meet-up, after the obligatory non-aggressive violence, we should all make sandwiches.
Cuban Sandwiches.
Zzz, zzz, (loud echo chamber reverb ending in Harumph!) Huh?
Contemporary libertarians attribute the vaccination challenges to a flawed government implementation of the free vaccine program.