'Sorry I Tased You' Cake Part of Federal Lawsuit Against Former Florida Deputy

The tasing incident allegedly happened last June, when Deputy Michael Wohlers took a friend's tea and used his taser on her after she tried to get it back.

What's a cop to do when he tases a friend over an iced tea? Stephanie Byron, a Florida woman who says she was tased by ex-Escambia County Sheriff's Deputy Michael Wohlers last summer, claims that Wohlers went on to text her a photo of a "Sorry I Tased You" cake.*

This tidbit comes from a civil lawsuit Byron filed against Wohlers in May with the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Florida. The tasing incident supposedly happened the previous summer, when Wohlers stopped by an apartment complex where Byron worked. According to the lawsuit, Wohlers took Byron's tea and when she tried to get it back he used his taser on her. After she fell to the ground, Wohlers then "jumped onto Ms. Byron, kneeing her in the chest" and "forcefully removed the Taser prods."

Byron alleges that Wohlers subsequently texted her a photo of a cake featuring one stick figure tasing another and the message "Sorry I Tased You," saying he wanted to give it to her. Byron's attorney filed that photo with her lawsuit.

Wohlers has denied the allegations, saying his taser was discharged in the course of "horseplay" with Byron. He resigned from Escambia Sheriff's Office in July 2015, while under investigation for the alleged misconduct and filing a false report about the incident.

On Monday, the state Criminal Justice Standards and Training Commission placed Wohlers on a one-year probationary period during which he can't seek law-enforcement employment in Florida. Maybe Wohlers can use the time to explore what's clearly an untapped police greeting-card market. Sorry I tased you, sorry I shot you instead of tasing you, sorry I forgot to turn on my body camera that day I shot you, sorry I implied to everyone that you were a sex trafficker, sorry I saddled your 11-year-old with a criminal record, sorry I helped wrongfully convict you… the possibilities are really endless.

[P.S. See Anthony Fisher's recent Reason feature for why it can be so hard to prevent bad cops from getting new jobs.]

*This piece originally reported that Wohlers had baked the cake himself. Here's the real story of the original cake.

Comments

[Citizen X]

Yep, that cake looks like it was built by a man who'd steal a woman's tea and then taze her.

[Sevens]

Men. We don't bake cakes. We build them. ... Poorly.

[Florida Hipster]

*braces for FL jokes*

[juris imprudent]

So if "horseplay" is FL code for foreplay - how is it that Warty isn't a resident.

[Hugh Akston]

Warty doesn't make a habit of fucking animals, unlike your typical resident of Florida.

[Florida Hipster]

Just because we get twice as much use out of our animals is no reason to get jealous.

[jesse.in.mb]

You can't argue with Florda Man's pragmatism.

[juris imprudent]

Damn Hugh, it was more about the taser being part of foreplay. You going to try to tell me that doesn't sound like Warty?

[Hugh Akston]

I imagine he probably has a taser on hand just in case, but tasers can render the target unconscious, and Warty like them to be awake for the whole thing.

[Florida Hipster]

This is skunk ape territory. It's like franchise agreements. I don't fully understand it.

[Citizen X]

Are you kidding? Warty carved Florida to its current shape as an homage to himself.

[W. Chipper Dove]

He's like the Paul Bunyan of rape.

[Chipwooder]

Well, in all fairness, Pensacola is really more Alabama than Florida.

[Crusty Juggler]

The dude's idea of horseplay is to tase a lady and he bakes and decorates his own cakes?

Is that Florida's idea of a renaissance man?

[Tonio]

No homo, obviously.

[Playa Manhattan.]

I'm not so sure.

[Tonio]

No self-respecting homo would decorate a cake that poorly, if nothing else we'd call up someone who could.

[jesse.in.mb]

I always refused to do the cake writing when I worked at a bakery. One time a customer insisted over my protestations and then was FURIOUS that I'd done such a poor job. Luckily I was really good at erasing frosting mistakes, she did it herself and left in a huff although it looked fine.

[Prince Hal]

If he had shot her and killed her instead, he probably wouldn't be facing any legal action.

[commodious the plorable]

He'd be in his rights. She had a gun!

[$park? is totally a Swifty]

saying his taser was discharged in the course of "horseplay"

I'm not sure it's such a great idea to taze a chick when you've got your dick in her.

[Crusty Juggler]

Check out the prude over here. Live a little, bro. Splash that vanilla with some rainbow sprinkles.

[Citizen X]

Crusty's version of "missionary position" involves forced baptism and smallpox.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Wohlers has denied the allegations, saying his taser was discharged in the course of "horseplay" with Byron.

I believe this to be true, but I'm not sure how it changes anything.

[Hamster of Doom]

He's hurt that people would want to tarnish with nasty implications an event that he thought was funny as hell.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Based on the cake, I see this is one of those rare examples of Asian-on-Asian violence in America.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Wohlers took Byron's tea and when she tried to get it back he used his taser on her. After she fell to the ground, Wohlers then "jumped onto Ms. Byron, kneeing her in the chest" and "forcefully removed the Taser prods."

LOL!

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

Nobody who makes cakes is a villain.

[Florida Hipster]

What about the purple pie man?!?

[Juvenile Bluster]

He *is* peculiar...

[Prince Hal]

Should bakeries be allowed to refuse to bake a "sorry I tased you" cake for a cop?

[Roger the Shrubber]

Blue Lives Matter!

[The Fusionist]

Oh, well, I didn't *really* want to post that joke.

[Tonio]

Me, neither.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

On Monday, the state Criminal Justice Standards and Training Commission placed Wohlers on a one-year probationary period during which he can't seek law-enforcement employment in Florida.

Ok then. When will the Union have his record expunged so it won't show up anywhere the next time he wants to patrol the streets and pull your daughters over?

[Florida Hipster]

Escambia is next to Alabama. He won't have to drive far for a new job.

[Swiss Servator]

I think the cake thing was debunked....lemme go look.

[Swiss Servator]

http://gizmodo.com/that-sorry-.....1787260865

[Stilgar]

but why let a good meme get in the way of righteousness?

[Heroic Mulatto]

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the Internet and tell lies?

[Jerryskids]

Correction 9/30/16, 12:30pm: This article previously said that the photo has 'nothing to do with the actual incident'. While the cop who tasered the woman didn't bake the cake, he allegedly did send this picture, apparently after finding it online, to the woman who's now suing him. The Pensacola News originally reported that the cop had baked the cake but has since updated its story.

So the dickhead didn't actually make her a cake, he just sent her a picture of a cake and said he made it.

[Crusty Juggler]

A fake-bake?

[Tonio]

I think this means that there is some kind of tradition of giving a cake after an accidental tasing. That's SugarFree levels of creepy.

[jesse.in.mb]

That debunking looks familiar...

*narrows gaze*

[DOOMco]

No one at h&r de-bunks!

[Zeb]

Half debunked. He did send the picture.

[The Late P Brooks]

Sorry you thought I was there to help you.

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

Sorry my union preempts any attempts to ensure accountability.

Not!

[The Late P Brooks]

Wohlers has denied the allegations, saying his taser was discharged in the course of "horseplay" with Byron.

"Look, I'm no sadist. I'm just incompetent. Why make a federal case out of it?"

[Sevens]

Battle of the sexes. Neither tea party, nor peace of cake.

[The Fusionist]

"[P.S. See Anthony Fischer's recent Reason feature for why it can be so hard to prevent bad cops from getting new jobs.]"

Like I said in another thread, how about this: "You want to be a cop in this department? Please provide proof of liability insurance in case you're accused of abusing citizens."

"Well, I tried to get liability insurance, but they were all picky about my background and shit...could you just hire me anyway?"

[The Fusionist]

(I'm open to correction in case this idea sucks)

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

Problem is they don't need liability insurance, because they can't be held liable.

[Sevens]

By the way, how many strippers have been tazed?

[DOOMco]

On advice from my council, I will not answer that.

[Tonio]

The Council of Doom?

[DOOMco]

I like that. Hamster and I should team up.

[Tony]

Why do the inanimate weapons that cops carry always function in passive voice?

[tarran]

Omitting their role in an action is a great way for people to avoid being held responsible for their actions.

[Tony]

You'd think they'd be scared to carry such volatile objects on their waist.

[Zeb]

"The gun went off" = not passive voice.

"The taser was fired by the pig at the unfortunate woman" = passive voice.

Passive voice isn't the problem. Maybe a style problem, but it's failing to say how and by whom the weapon was discharged, or writing as if the weapon has agency that makes it all weaselly, and you can do that with or without the passive voice.

[tarran]

Can you give an example of an active voice equivalent of "shots were fired" that leaves the reader in the dark as to who fired the shot?

[Zeb]

I get it. That's why most style manuals will tell you to avoid the passive voice. I'm just being a grammar/usage dick.
I notice that pretty often people will complain about "passive voice" when no one actually said anything in passive voice. I'm not sure if people actually don't know what the passive voice is, or if they don't care and use it as shorthand for something else.

[DOOMco]

Little column a, little column b.

[tarran]

So you are saying that passive voice isn't a problem in and of itself, it's the omission of the actor that is.

"The gun was discharged by officer dunphy and the cute little puppy was struck by bullets." stylistically iffy, but otherwise OK.

"A gun was discharged and the cute little puppy was struck by bullets." not only stylistically iffy but utterly evasive (where the problem lies).

Did I get it right?

[See Double You]

The last quote should be, "A gun discharged and bullets struck the cute little puppy." Active voice, but no identification of the actor. That's what Zeb's getting at.

[tarran]

Yeah it makes sense. I see that I had completely misconstrued the point he was making in his first rejoinder.

[Rufus The Monocled]

That cake is disturbing.

[Mongo]

"Don't mention Aleppo, fuckface"

-- Gary Johnson's cake

[The Fusionist]

Whatever you do, don't mention the war! I mentioned it briefly, but I think I got away with it.

[John C. Randolph]

Sure, let's issue electrocution torture devices to a pack of former high-school bullies! What could possibly go wrong?

-jcr

[KerryW]

I'm a little late to the party, but surprised there is no comment on the alt-text. Thumbs up, ENB.

[DOOMco]

Thanks, I think it came out pretty good. The primer red looked good too, and it was fun driving it like that for a week. I still need to put my rear fenders on, but need some steel rivets.