Hate Speech

Finally: An Anonymous, Online, Geo-Tagged System to Report Microaggressions at College!

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The Ithacan

I realize that simply by saying that you've probably heard of microaggressions, I'm likely committing one.

For the uninitiated, microaggressions are "are statements by a person from a privileged group that belittles or isolates a member of an unprivileged group, as it relates to race, class, gender, sexual orientation, ability and more." The really innovative thing about microaggressions is that they are often meant in a spirit of inclusion by the speaker. For instance, depending on who's speaking and who's listening, complimeting someone on their hair, clothing, or whatever might count as a covert way of putting him in his place. "That's a really fancy jacket" may really be code for WTF are you doing in clothes that are above your station?

But I'll risk microaggressing you to note that the student government at Ithaca College in upstate New York has just passed a mind-blowing bill that will allow students to anonymously report offensive statements such as "Where are you really from?" and "You don't look disabled." The system will include "demographics" about the aggressor and the aggressee and tag location info too, according to one of the sponsors of the bill.

The Ithaca College Student Government Association passed a bill March 16 to create an online system to report microaggressions, which sponsors of the bill said will create a more conducive environment for victims to speak about microaggressions.

You got that? A system to report microaggressions will lead to more reports of microaggressions. Pretty sure that's what happened in Salem during the witch-trial days.

The bill, sponsored by Class of 2018 senator Angela Pradhan, calls for the implementation of a campus-wide online system to report microaggressions to "make Ithaca College a safer, more inclusive and diverse community for all students."…

The system would also contain a way to distinguish between staff, faculty members and both international and American students, as well as a mechanism to include where the microaggression took place, Pradhan said.

She said the demographic information would be used as data regarding the issue of microaggressions. Currently, Pradhan said there is no data system tracking microaggressions at the college.

The bill does not currently state that the names of people accused of committing microaggressions will be reported. While Pradhan said she believes the names of alleged offenders should be reported, she said there could be possible legal barriers.

So remember, kids, you don't go to college to learn new things and feed your head. You go to college to be subjected to an anonymous system of collecting information about the bad thoughts you have and the misstatements you make, some of which you might not even have intended to be hurtful.

But rest easy, because if you are in fact accused of microaggressing, your accuser "would likely have to reveal their identity" if any charges are pressed (emphasis added). Because we know how well colleges do at handling legal-style proceedings.

The system would allow individuals reporting microaggressions to remain anonymous. However, junior Kyle James, vice president of communications and co-sponsor of the bill, said those reporting a microaggression would likely have to reveal their identity if they wanted to pursue any legal action.

James said in addition to a space to report the particular incident, the online system would track the demographics of those reporting microaggressions as well as those accused of committing them.

More here and here.

I would like to believe that awfulness of imposing such a system is self-evident, especially at a university, which is supposed to be about the free and open exchange of ideas and the production of knowledge (at least in the few spare moments between football games and re-education seminars). In an astonishingly short half-century, we have cycled from a demand for "free speech" on college campuses to the condemnation of speech via anonymous, online, geo-tagged systems that may or may not accord the accused any ability to speak up in their own defense.

Unless your goal is to chill or control speech and thought, this sort of program is a complete anathema to everything that higher education is supposed to promote and cherish. But there you are, another year older and deeper in debt.

Alan Charles Kors, the University of Pennsylvania historian and co-founder of The Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE), has long argued that colleges systematically engage in false advertising. That is, they tell parents and prospective students that they offer wide-open educational experiences while in fact harshly limiting and circumscribing all sorts of expression and inquiry.

I'd like to think that if Ithaca College actually implements its microaggression reporting system that it will trumpet that fact in all promotional materials so that new and continuing students will understand that they are not entering a space in which free thought and expression are encouraged but one in which they will be subject to surveillance and secret accusations ripped straight out of mid-century anti-totalitarian novels.

In 2012, Reason TV talked with Kors about campus speech codes, the case for teaching the humanities, and more. Take a look or a listen.

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  1. We’ve hit another Peak Derp! how long until the next Peak? And what will bring it?

    Stay tuned to your public university’s PBS channel to find out!

    1. I’m sure it’s already been hit again. We just haven’t found out about it yet.

      1. We’ve hit another Peak Derp! how long until the next Peak? And what will bring it?

        Like Homer and the “Murderhorn” there’s always another progderp peak!

        http://tinyurl.com/Derp-Peak

    2. Just remember the visible part of the peak derp accounts for only a very small portion of total derp.

    3. Less than twenty four hours since the last Peak Derp (the Play Doh Derp). At this rate of acceleration the Eschaton will be Immanentized within the month.

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    5. I thought Peak Derp was when the Vagina Monologues were held as insufficiently inclusive to Transvestites.

      I love it when they eat their own.

    6. Wait till the derppings start jumping ogf the cliff…one of my favorite things about natural selection.

    7. I am pretty sure the current Peak Derp is Tumblr.

  2. So…essentially the bones of campus Stasi. They encourage you to rat on everyone else and keep extensive records of it all.

    These people can’t destroy their own environment fast enough. Thank Jeebus they’re limited to campuses for the most part.

    For now.

    1. These are the people that are going to be leaving their university and gravitate towards government jobs. Can’t wait to see what the country looks like 20 years from now.

      1. Well, I actually doubt that the worst ones will leave. The outside world is a lot harder to do shit like this in. It’s why universities have gotten so bad with this shit: these types are drawn to their closed system because it’s much easier to create bullshit power structures in.

        1. Even if the worst never leave their thought-policing and other behaviors will make an impression on other students, particularly those who are successfully indoctrinated or at least made fearful of the SJWs’ wrath.

        2. Yes, but a decent number of academics get government jobs. It’s an unhealthy and unnatural relationship.

          1. Like, say, President of the United States?

            1. He’s not really an academic per se, as I wouldn’t count adjuncts. But yeah, close enough.

              1. Has “The Professor” actually ever published a paper in his life?

          2. They can make a micro-aggression database, but they’ll never fix Obamacare.

            1. +6M enrollees….or 1M…..or 7.5M…..or…..

            2. If you like ypur anonymous passive-aggressive playing the role of the victim system you can keep your anonymous passive-aggressive playing the role of the victom system.

              1. Period

      2. With luck I’ll either have found a way to escape all this or be dead before another 20 years passes.

        1. I thought you had a hideout in Colorado?

          1. You know who else had a mountain hideout?

            1. Team America?

            2. Megaforce

              1. That was the desert, fool.

          2. It’s called a lair.

            Get with the program.

          3. Montana. And they’re moving in on me. I give it another 3-5 years tops and it’ll be no better here than where I left from.

      3. They’ll be in government jobs because no one sane in the private sector will hire them.

  3. In a just society, these little Benitos would eventually starve due to their lack of cognitive function and marketable skills. Unfortunately they all have six figure salaries waiting for them in government.

  4. I know who you are and I know what you have done.

    1. I know who you microaggressed last summer.

      1. Sweet!

  5. I long ago realized I wouldn’t last 5 minutes in boot camp again without ending up in the brig. I simply wouldn’t put up with that shit and they’d have to cart me off, I’d foght them every step of the way, and end up in Leavenworth.

    But I think I could have fun on a college campus now. I’d be filing microagression reports every 5 minutes. Someone complains about my filing a microaggression report? There’s another one! Someone try filing one on me? There’s one right back atcha!

    They’d probably kick me out, but it would take them a while, and in the meantime, I’d have filed enough microaggression reports to tie them up in knots for a year and smothered all their reputations.

    Yeah, I’d have fun on a college campus nowadays.

    1. You’re assuming it would work that way. The system would be rigged and you’d be marked as a trouble maker to be expelled after they’ve collected your tuition.

    2. There is no end to fun one can have with arbitrary power structures once life has delivered a suitable dose of apathy.

    3. I do this to my sister who is pretty liberal. I spout prog-speak to cover up for my own sloth and it pisses her off.

      For example, I will go on and on about my efforts to bring back a more natural prairie grassland. She will sputter and tell me that what I really mean is that I’m too lazy to spray for weeds, fertilize or mow my lawn all that much.

      The other one that got her was when I would gush about the benefits of breast feeding our kids. How it was so much healthier and helped forge bonds with the children. She said I was only for it because I’m a guy and it meant I got out of bottle feeding.

        1. Hah! I meant “the kids of my wife and I”.

          However, since I have admitted to being a past resident of Memphis I can see how that might have been confusing.

          1. “Hah! I meant “the kids of my wife and I”.”

            So you’re saying you married your sister. Well at least you “put a ring on it”.

            1. Should have put a jimmy on it. A ring only makes it last longer.

    4. “But, I’ll risk microaggressing you…” Fuck that weak bullshit. I think mega-aggressing would be much more entertaining. If this existed when I was in college, my friends and I would have definitely competed to see who could get the most microaggression reports filed against us.

      And oh, by the way…

      The original text that Gillespie quotes says, “…those reporting a microaggression would likely have to reveal their identity if they wanted to pursue any legal action.”

      #1 – “Would likely”? “likely”? So, you’re saying there’s room for discussion on that point? I can’t imagine what could go wrong with anonymous accusations.

      #2 – Did Gillespie (and everyone else) just read something about pursuing legal action for a microaggression without flinching? I scanned through the comments and only saw one person who pointed that out.

      1. #1 – “Would likely”? “likely”? So, you’re saying there’s room for discussion on that point? I can’t imagine what could go wrong with anonymous accusations.

        Like… botched drug raids prompted by anonymous tips?

  6. The bill, sponsored by Class of 2018 senator Angela Pradhan…

    The world needs ditch diggers, too.

    1. The world needs ditch diggers, too.

      Microagression?

      1. You betcha!

        Wait, is *that* a microagression?

        1. Wait, is *that* a microagression?

          fish nods knowingly…….

          You should probably report to the nearest detention/re-education center immediately.

        2. It’s a paddling, I think.

          1. Looking at my sandals? Thaaaat’s a paddling.

    2. And ditch filler.

      1. I see what you did there…
        Dig the ditch…
        Fill the ditch…
        Dig the ditch…
        Fill the ditch…
        Dig the ditch…
        Fill the ditch…
        Dig the ditch…
        Fill the ditch…
        Kinda makes ya feel like a taxpayer, eh ?!?!?!

    3. You’ll get nothing and like it!

  7. It would be nice if all of the students that were not brainless twits would get together and just troll the hell out of this system rendering results opposite of what meddling douchbags like Pradhan are hoping for. Wonder if they even allow the “wrong kind” of reporting.

    1. lol try saying u received a “microaggression” from a foreign exchange student lesbian mixed race transgender in a wheelchair? ERROR Please Try Again

      1. She told me I didn’t “get” Jimi

        1. I know you heard Jimi, but do you hear Jimi?

    2. It would be genuinely heartwarming if, on its first day of operation, such a system reported 500 incidents of microaggression by Angela Pradhan.

      1. And you’d still need another 999,500 to add up to just one actual aggression.

        1. Dude, I used to be into microaggressions before they sold out and went mainstream.

          Now I’m more into nanoaggressions and even picoaggressions.

          1. For me, it’s Planckaggressions or nothing.

            1. The LHC is after the Higgs Boson not to discover the true origin of the universe but to determine the tiniest potential particle aggressions and to ensure against the “othering” of the vulnerable particle set.

    3. “It would be nice if all of the students that were not brainless twits would get together and just troll the hell out of this system ”

      I think this is the generalized way to fight back against the Progressive Theocracy where ever you find it. Cram the system down the system’s throat.

  8. On the plus side, the free speech zones now identify themselves.

    1. Microaggressions will not be tolerated within
      free speech zones.

      1. Free speech will be reported as a microaggression.

  9. if u see something say something. ANYTHING.

  10. thank goodness there is absolutely no way this could ever be abused in any way

    1. Yep. And everyone who reports a microaggression is telling the absolute truth.

  11. allow students to anonymously report offensive statements such as “Where are you really from?”

    So, Ithaca College had jolly well better drop “Birthplace” from its forms.

  12. She looka lika man

    1. Miss Swan? Is that you?

      1. I used to love that routine. Mrs. Candy chalks that up to me having the sense of humor of a 12 year old.

        1. My kids love my Miss Swan impression…

          “OK, I tell you…”

          1. Do you also do the “you go now, you be here four hour” for them?

            1. All the time.

  13. Currently, Pradhan said there is no data system tracking microaggressions at the college.

    The horror!

    I mean the use of “Currently”.

    1. Also, Pradhan had better check out microaggressions.com.

    2. Hudson: 9 meters. 7. 6.

      Ripley: That can’t be; that’s inside the room.

      Hudson: It’s reading right man, look!

      Hicks: Then you’re not reading it right.

      Hudson: 5 meters, man. 4. What the hell?

      1. Game over man!

        1. Well why don’t you put her in charge?!?

          1. Well why don’t you put her in charge?!?

            I don’t wanna rain on your parade, bet she ain’t gonna last 17 hours in the real world

            1. The microaggressions mostly come at night. Mostly.

              1. Eh, careful now, Epi… We probably want to steer clear of the face cleaning scene, as Pradhan would probably consider that a supreme microaggression.

                Hell, she may even consider it outright aggression!

              2. Eh, careful now, Epi… We probably want to steer clear of the face cleaning scene, as Pradhan would probably consider that a supreme microaggression.

                Hell, she may even consider it outright aggression!

                1. Sum’bitch….I got squirrel’d!!

                  1. You can say that again.

                    1. You can say that again.

        2. In space no one can hear you microagress.

      2. I say we take off and microaggress the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  14. Eu tu, Reuters?

    Campus rape is a serious problem. But while public attention is focused on students carrying mattresses and the discredited Rolling Stone report about rape at the University of Virginia, the fact is that sexual assault is more common off campus than on.

    Consider this: If you lived in Gallup, New Mexico in 2013, you were 47 times more likely to be raped than if you attended Harvard, according to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting (UCR) statistics. Yet chances are you won’t see any protesters in New Mexico. Coverage of campus rape has likely increased for a variety of reasons ? the social media influence of the at-risk demographic, the ability of victims and supporters to articulate the problem and because it ? like any other type of violent crime in poor communities ? is more of a surprise. That’s not to lessen one or the other; just a diagnosis of the arc of public attention.

    1. “Coverage of campus rape has likely increased for a variety of reasons…”

      Note they don’t list: 1) federal government extortion of colleges and universities, or 2) rabid promotion of outright lies for political purposes by SJWs.

      1. It is Reuters. I’m stunned that they wrote as much as they did.

    2. What if you attended Harvard AND lived in Gallup, New Mexico?

  15. how can someone be charged for “microagressing”?

    1. Quickly and harshly.

    2. “What are you prison in for?”

      “Assault, theft, murder, lollygagging, … and microaggression.”

  16. “Microaggressions are “are statements by a person from a privileged group that belittles or isolates a member of an unprivileged group, as it relates to race, class, gender, sexual orientation, ability and more.”

    What about fat chicks?

    Is it still okay to make fun of fat chicks?

    1. As long as you don’t call them cunt and trigger the “Ken Shultz Signal”!

      1. I can live with that.

        But there are still other groups out there, other than fatties, that I need to make fun of–that don’t necessarily fall into any of those protected groups…

        Like the guys that walk around dressed like hipster lumberjacks! What do they call themselves–lumbersexuals?

        I don’t even think most of them are gay. They’re just…dressed up like lumberjacks.

        How am I supposed to NOT make fun of that?

        1. Lumbersexuals are cunts.

          Just sayin’…

          1. Perhaps, but now we’re probably being redundant.

            The question is whether making fun of fat lumbersexuals constitutes a microaggression that’s going to get you geodoxed by a flash-gaggle of angry feministas.

            1. get you geodoxed by a flash-gaggle of angry feministas.

              LMAO – bravo

        2. As a redneck I’m getting more than a little tired of this lumbersexual phenomenon.

          1. I see like…what’s his name with the beard–the head mechanic on Fast & Loud at Gas Monkey garage?

            And I always think–does he have any idea how hip he is?

          2. As an actual retired logger, I remember this was also a thing in Seattle at one point in the 90’s. Made me laugh.

        3. Ya gotta sing the Monty Python lumberjack song at ’em!

    2. Oh totally. Because in that case, per the SJWs, you can say you were only concerned about their health, and the fact that the fatties obviously aren’t vegan and gluten-free and are destroying the planet with their gluttony. You’re also concerned about their mere existence being a bad influence on the children.

      Being a concern troll is totally OK. Complimenting a member of the victim class (“your new weave looks nice”) isn’t.

    3. Is it still okay to make fun of fat chicks?

      It’s OK for some to do so, but not for others to do so.

      If you have to ask, then you’re in the group it’s not OK for.

    4. Sure taunt them all you want… Right up until about 15 minutes before last call.

      1. Once the lights come up it’s like the greased pig scramble at the country fair.

        1. though I smelled you cooking bacon last night

        2. That made a thus-far shitty week better. Thanks

  17. Fuck microaggressions. Let’s ramp up to macroaggressions.

    1. Start every statement with the word ‘nigger’.

    2. When Intergalactic Emperor Obozo declares an undeclared war on the Andromeda Galaxy,does that qualify as a micro-aggression or a macro-aggression? Or does it fall into the middle, since Bigger Things are Planned?

  18. I was told on multiple occasions around here that the retards don’t rule the night. I feel lied to.

    1. They don’t rule the night. No one does. But they do all want cake.

    2. They rule the day.

  19. Having redefined racism, sexism, and homophobia to mean “anything we don’t like,” the SJWs have determined the need for something even more vague to use to protect themselves from our oppressive society (and as a club against ideological enemies). So now we have “microaggressions.” Pretty funny to those of us who get called racist/sexist/homophobes for not toeing this week’s SJW ideological line. Shouldn’t calling someone a racist/sexist/homophobe be worse than a microaggression? Why not cut to the chase and set the rule as: “We can say anything about you that we want, but you can’t say or do anything about us that we don’t like”?

    1. “We can say anything about you that we want, but you can’t say or do anything about us that we don’t like”?

      It’s actually not a bad idea to let them have their way as the definition of “we” will lead to massive infighting. Allow the dipshits to fracture and self destruct as they conduct their oppression Olympics.

      1. I already don’t give a shit. I’m civil to most people and tolerant of most things, and that’s just the way I’m going to be. If they want to try and lock me up for not jumping through silly, irrational, and arbitrary hoops, then fine.

        1. I’m the type that’ll offer condescending non-apology apologies.

          “I’m sorry your ego is so fragile that you took my off handed comment as an insult. I’ll be sure to treat you differently from other people in the future as you are incapable of acting like a mature adult.”

          1. BEHOLD MY WHITE MALENESS! KNEEL BEFORE IT AND TREMBLE.

          2. What a racist/sexist/homophobic thing to say. Check your privilege!

            1. My response to “check your privilege” is check the space between your ears, it appears to be empty.

          3. Banjos
            That’s like an AR-15 automatic series of assault microaggressions.

            1. Love me some banjos.

    2. That is the rule, they just keep coming up with different ways to explain that to people as people become inured to the ones they’re currently using.

      Seriously, the entire point of this PC/SJW shit is literally to be able to say to anyone “your opinion is invalid because of [X] so shut up and do what we say”. That’s it. That’s the whole ball of wax. It’s just a passive aggressive form of “shut up or I’ll kick your ass”.

      1. Why do they need all of these excuses? Just keep buying votes then, when the majority is strong enough, put me in a camp.

        1. You can only buy so many votes. Sooner or later, they had to win the old fashioned fascist way: demonize and cultivate fear of a maligned minority, especially if it’s a disproportionately wealthy one (could be Jews, but cishet white males is even better), then most of the rest of the people will side with them either 1) out of fear of the maligned group, or 2) out of fear of being lumped in with the maligned group by the others (Mitleufers they call them). Hell, some of the maligned people will even go along with it in order to get exemptions for being “one of the good ones.” Those are called mischlings.

          I don’t apologize for the Nazi analogy, Godwin’s law ought to be broken here. I’d say they’re about five years away from rehabilitating Stalin altogether. Just hope I’m finished with grad school by then.

      2. Yeah, interesting that the definition of microaggression concludes with “…and more”. Nice and open-ended.

  20. Headline I did not expect to See Today.

    2 EXOTIC TERMITES FIND LOVE IN FLORIDA, WORRYING RESEARCHERS

    1. OK, so where were you expecting them to find love?

      1. In all the wrong crawlspaces?

        1. Ow. Definitely a microagression.

  21. The easiest way to solve this: monkey wrench the system. Submit numerous complaints about the sponsor Angela Pradhan and her kind and their micro aggressions towards white people and minorities.

  22. Well Nick this the “socially tolerant” society you were gushing over.

  23. So…you report a microaggression, a mob moves in to harass the microaggressor, he’s hectored into seeing the light, he engages in a vigorous self-criticism session, and he semi-willingly joins the mob. Is that the desired endgame here?

    1. he’s hectored into seeing the light

      Four, or five?

      /Frggin’ Cardassians…

      1. A few weeks ago, my wife set me up the bomb…

        She asked me if her fitbit was fully charged. I had not seen her new fitbit so I asked her how I could tell. She said “Look and tell me how many lights do you see?” I think I peed a little at the setup, because I looked at it, turned to her and said “There…are…four…lights!”

        She did not get it at all…

        1. Damn. That was an excellent set-up, though.

    2. Sort of like a zombie apocalypse, but worse.

    3. Struggle sessions.

    4. I think it would go more like this.

      1. You’re around the Kids These Days. You know how pitiful their physical condition is. They wouldn’t have the wind to keep up kicking for that long.

        1. Adrenaline can do amazing things. You heard about that mother who lifted a car off her baby, right?

    5. ….he engages in a vigorous self-criticism session, and he semi-willingly joins the mob. Is that the desired endgame here?

      Nope….the desired endgame here is nailing overstimulated not so bright college chicks by “infiltrating” their perimeter with your hard throbbing and insistent….

      Perhaps I’ve said too much…..

    6. he’s hectored into seeing the light,

      As opposed to seeing the dark? Because dark is ipso facto bad, eh whitey? Way to microagress you racist cis shitlord white male devil!

    7. No, I think the microaggressor is just to go home and hang himself from the ceiling fan. Pretty sure that’s the endgame.

  24. Is this a way to keep score on who’s been micro-aggressed more than others?

    Why do I get the feeling that once a CIS-gendered white guy claims he has been micro-aggressed it will not be put into the database?

    1. Straight white guys love to complain about microaggressions, they just call it “seeing fags kiss on TV.”

        1. seconded – that was teh awsum

        2. No straight black men are homophobic. I hope Tony tests his theory.

            1. shop.vaginapowertv.com

              Freaking extra awesome, HM.

              1. I also liked: WAKE UP BITCH 2012! YO BABY DADDY AINT SHIT

          1. I guess Ben Carson doesn’t count.

      1. Straight white guys love to complain about microaggressions, they just call it “seeing fags kiss on TV.”

        Wut fag kissed his Tee Vee?

      2. Wait a minute. Is the rent-boy saying that fags kissing is aggression?

        -jcr

      3. Tony said “fag”. I’m calling Angela.

        1. As a former smoker who still occasionally struggles with quitting, the use of the term fag is triggering and causes me to desire a cigarette, which could kill me. Therefore, I’ve been microagressed.

          Tony, please submit your longitude and latitude coordinates so I can properly geotag you.

          1. As a bundle of sticks, I too am offended and expect Tony to promptly mail me a severed digit of his as penance.

          2. I have just a second to type while my booking officer’s back is turned. The liberal gestapo has me booked on a flight to a black site in Alabama. Tell them you were right. Centuries of absolute power over everyone who wasn’t white, straight, and male–all a long con, building to this moment. The SJWs have begun “operation determine the penis length of all offenders.” Their ruler only goes up to 5. As if somehow they knew they needn’t waste the wood. Don’t even speak. For the love of god don’t speak. I was done in by “faggot.” Dear god, the irony. I don’t know what my massive cock will get me, but I dream, I hope beyond hope that it is… something.

            1. ^^^^ This really could be the outline for a master’s degree program at a liberal arts college. Or Tony’s actual thesis.

  25. Yo, bitch – about that sammich….

  26. You know, as things pass, I start to think the Big Brother idea was a flawed one. The totalitarians of the future won’t be a Big Brother, or even an O’Brien. No, the totalitarian of the future is an Angela Pradhan, a scared nobody incapable of generating much more than contempt, rather than hatred or fear. You expect a monster. Instead you find a bunch of mice.

      1. Huh. That’s kind of sad.

    1. “…a rat that scurries at the first sound of a human voice.”

  27. I have much to learn about microaggression

    Is it microagressive to say “Shut the Hell up! you Dumb Fuck!” and is this lessor or equal to
    “Shut the Fuck Up! you Dumb Cunt”?

    1. “Shut the Fuck Up! you Dumb Cunt”?

      I think that’s a macroagrerssion.

  28. “Microaggressions are “are statements by a person from a privileged group that belittles or isolates a member of an unprivileged group, as it relates to race, class, gender, sexual orientation, ability and more.”

    It also takes a privileged group to decide what is and is not a microagression, which could lead to isolation…

    *Head explodes*

  29. I’ve always wondered, what is the unit conversion of microaggressions to regular aggressions?

    1. 1000 “Can I touch your hair?” = One lunch counter exclusion

      1. I wonder if you level up to more special victim statuses after getting enough microaggressions. Someone should make an app to keep track.. Otherwise you might not even know how truly victimized you are.

        1. Remind me to only quest with bi-racial latino/black transgendered disabled persons. Wait, does that exclusivity mean I’m microagressing?

    2. It’s a continuous scale. For example, looking at a woman’s chest = 1 nanoaggression per half second duration. Not looking at her at all while she’s walking by (as though she were invisible) is 1 picoaggression. Coughing while within earshot of a minority is 2.5 femtoaggressions.

      Of course, to get the real value, you must multiply by your privilege coefficient, determined by race, gender, etc. All white males have a coefficient greater than 1, but it varies: Italians and Greeks are 1.8, Irish, 2.5, Scottish, 3. German-Americans like myself have a coefficient of 10, and WASPs 15. Needless to say, ever since the ’40s the WASPs have been arguing that the Germans should be at least 20.

      1. How about german,irish,scottish and a pat of dutch? Do i get a cumulative score or what?

  30. “Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten.” 1984-G. Orwell

      1. “My favorite word is the word”.
        -Nancy Pelosi

  31. “are common verbal, behavioral, and environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile or negative slights to marginalized groups.”

    So basically by simply existing as a normal white guy, I’m a walking microagression. No intent required.

    Say “good morning” to a non-morning person and you’re microagressing against lazy shit bags who sleep late.

    Say “excuse me, do you know what time it is?” and if the person doesn’t have a watch, you’re microagressing against the poor and watchless

    Hold a door for a woman and that’s like a microagression rape?

    1. If anyone very complains about me holding a door for them, I tell them that my father beat me if I didn’t as a child.

  32. Start working from home! Great job for students, stay-at-home moms or anyone needing an extra income… You only need a computer and a reliable internet connection… Make $90 hourly and up to $12000 a month by following link at the bottom and signing up… You can have your first check by the end of this week………….

    http://www.Jobsyelp.com

    1. I barely do any work at work, what makes you think I’m going to do any work from home?

      1. Are you kidding? Do you know how hard it is to avoid doing work at work? It’s a lot of work!

  33. Unfortunately, in the world of tomorrow, Angela Pradhan won’t be embarrassed with this college misstep. She’ll be proud to include it on her resume. No doubt she’ll be moving to D.C. soon to start job hunting.

  34. I’m sooooooooo glad I already graduated… from a fairly red school in a very red state in an even redder hard science. There was the occasional, legitimate racist or homophobic comment but it was always followed by a “dude, seriously?” After a while, the comments stopped. If any proggy tried this shit, they would be quickly laughed out of the building – by students AND faculty.

    1. an even redder hard science

      You were a nuclear engineer?

      1. I was thinking petroleum actually.

      2. Industrial, actually, which I know some people scoff at. But considering what my alma mater is known for, program-wise, it’s pretty damn red.

        1. I’ve never cared much about the politics of my colleagues (mostly fellow researchers at uni), but the nice thing about being in a harder science is that, even though if I had to guess I’d say they’re mostly left of center, almost nobody ever talks about politics.

          What is funny though is listening to foreigners (who make up most of the people I work with, as is common in sciences) talk about race or ethnicity. By American standards, most foreigners are hilariously racist. They will say things that would make an SJW’s head explode, and are completely oblivious to the American standards of social acceptability/PC. That’s why I can’t but laugh when I hear SJWs complain about white microaggressions. After the things I’ve heard some Asians I know say about blacks and hispanics, I feel like a saint. White westerners may well be the least racist people on the planet these days, ironically.

  35. Angela Pradhan is obviously far too delicate a flower to suffer the rigors of life outside of the bubble-wrapped cradle that her brain dead parents raised (and I use the term in its loosest possible sense) her in.

    She should immediately withdraw from college and see if she can get into a nursery school that rewards tattletales.

    -jcr

  36. Someone needs to tell these kids:

    “Listen, you can enjoy this rubber room you’ve built for yourselves, but, out in the real world,no one wants to be around anyone who’s constantly going around trying to find clever ways to be an offended victim. Being around someone like that isn’t fun, it’s boring, and no one respects anyone who functions like that. Find something else to do, preferably with some meaning, or enjoy the company of like-minded kindergarten whiners.”

    Eh, I bet they’ll figure it out by themselves, eventually. Or, maybe they will act like grandmas their entire life. I’m sure glad I didn’t go through my 20’s and 30’s that way.

    1. If their number is enough, they will simply change the world to fit their vision. Cultural revolution style. At some point the future we’re going to have a bad ten years.

    2. Brian
      You are microaggressing Amsoc’s fantasies.

  37. I really hope they do this. So that it turns the campus into such an oppressive and hateful environment that it turned everyone completely against it and they run the SJWs out of town.

  38. Unless your goal is to chill or control speech and thought, …

    It’s strange how the actions of progressives make no sense unless you assume that are trying to control speech and thought….

  39. “I realize that simply by saying that you’ve probably heard of microaggressions, I’m likely committing one”

    *VIGOROUS JAZZ HANDS*

    1. Hey, stop that!

      You’re triggering my epilepsy!

  40. It’s stories like this that make me wish we had the draft goin’ strong. Everybody who uses the term “microaggression” seriously gets an M4 and a one-way flight to Whatthefuckistan.

    Seriously, I’m going to have a daughter in three months, and in 18 years I want her to be the chick who this idiot writes an app to report. And then I want her to hang a foot in that idiot’s ass sideways.

  41. I was told not very long ago that (me) asking someone else to put down their phone when asking someone (me) a question was “Rude and Unacceptably Aggressive”

    to repeat = someone has their phone in front of their face, and is ostensibly speaking *to me* while their eyes are apparently trained on their gizmo….

    (but i can’t be 100% sure, given the spectrum of phone-talky manners of certain people – some people put it on their head, some people hold it in front of themselves like a mic, some people – douchebags? – stick it in their pocket and rock bluetooth earpieces….etc.)

    …and when i ask them, “excuse me = would you mind putting your phone down if you have a question”… they GASP and stare at me like i just snapped a kitten’s neck and was now gnawing on its skulll…. then assert that my statement was an unjustified affront that warranted immediate apology (but not quite so *immediate* since the person appeared to begin texting to document the occurrence of this horror)

    So… the question is = how do we document this particular ‘Microaggression’? was my request the ‘offense’, or does the phone etiquette thing rise to micro-fuck-you by itself?

    1. Way to Other those with cell phone addiction.

      1. btw, this headline says it all “Cell phone addiction has a name, and yes, there is formal treatment for it”
        http://www.phonearena.com/news…..it_id34866

        1. Is the treatment having a concerned third party insert the phone up the addicts rear end? Because I’ve been advocating that treatment for years now.

          1. Huh, I’ve been treating myself for cell phone addiction all this time and didn’t even know it. Funny, because I don’t use the phone for much else. And yes, of course it is set to vibrate.

    2. Insufficient data to provide an answer.

      In order to determine whether a micro-aggression was in fact committed, and if one was committed, who the aggressor and aggressee are, we first need information on your race, religious affiliation, gender identity, sexual preference, disability status, and annual income, and we’ll need the same information from the other party. If you do not know, be careful the manner in which you ask the question as you may end up microagressing them further in the process.

      1. Assume I’m a very large black woman. Does that help?

        1. Do you also get the menstrual cramps real hard?

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k2FkUF41AA

          1. Of course. You people aren’t helping with the phone thing at all.

    3. Gilmore
      It also rude for Asians to talk on the phone in the library. -Alexandra Wallace

  42. “I would like to believe that awfulness of imposing such a system is self-evident”

    Well, you could always poll Millenials.

    1. Can we start calling them milliagressions since it accounts for the concept of not being, y’know, actual fucking aggression and places the blame for this insanity squarely where it lies: my generation populated by nothing but wimps.

      1. Sorry to be a total geek, but… Micro is a millionth, Milli is a 1 / 1,000th, micro is smaller… Milli-aggression inflates that “problem”. Pico is a billionth, femto is a trillionth…

        Fempto-aggessions is more like it… The fem-stasi had their toes stepped on, hence Fem – Toe… That also helps us recall the femto-label!

        PS, total change of topic…

        What do you call a billionth of a “boo”?

        A pico-boo !!! PicoBoo, I see you!

  43. Gee I always thought it was called whining, but I guess microagressions sounds cooler. So basically, if I am a member of “privileged” group anything I say that offends anyone else they can report it? When did we as a nation become so freaking sensitive and more important when did it become a “right” to never be offended? This PC garbage is totally out of control. Colleges are supposed to be the one place where the free exchange of ideas occurs and every opinion is debated. However, progressives now dominate the so many campuses that they are the least free locations in the US. If you want a clear illustration of what life in the US would be like if Obama and his ilk had their wish, colleges like this are the best example.

  44. Let ’em keep going down this road. The backlash is already gaining momentum, and will increase exponentially in anger and intensity, like a uranium 235 chain reaction (I’ve been reading The Making of the Atomic Bomb).

    I’m just glad that I’m a) not in college and b) childless

    1. As the eldest of 7 siblings you microagress me,Kristen…

      (runs from room, feet stomping furiously)

  45. I wonder if the East German Stasi started this way.

    1. The Stasi started when the Soviets failed to kill all the Gestapo goons in eastern Germany. They figured that the new boss could use their skills just like Adolf the Paperhanger did.

      -jcr

  46. I was going to make a joke about the Venetian “bocche dei leoni” system, but apparently it wasn’t as sinister as I had imagined:

    http://veniceblog.typepad.com/…..mouth.html

  47. “It’s a good thing that systems like this can’t possibly be exploited to the point that they become worse than useless, and in fact satirize their own creators.” – Mister Splashypants

  48. I’d start reporting Microaggressions every time someone said we ought to tax something or make a new law.

  49. microaggressions are “are statements by a person from a privileged group that belittles or isolates a member of an unprivileged group, as it relates to race, class, gender, sexual orientation, ability and more.”

    The most basic mark of privilege has always who can insult whom with impunity, which they have entirely inverted with their definition.

    Don’t they need to publish a privilege hierarchy chart to go with it? Is privilege absolute, or is it always relative?

    If absolute, does this mean that privileged people can’t microagress against each other, and neither can unprivileged people?If absolute, is a white woman always unprivileged? Always privileged?

    If relative, does a black man trump a white woman? I would say so, but I haven’t seen the official privilege chart.

    What happens where there are 3 people in the room?

    Hmmm. The re-education camps have *a lot* of work to do. So much to learn. Maybe they can program robots to do all the calculations and project the relative privilege rankings of everyone present on their foreheads so we can know who we can insult, and who we must bend over for.

    1. You won’t be microaggressing in the FEMA camps.

  50. Damn that was a lot reading. Well worth it though. One of the best bunch of comments I’ve read in a long time.

    1. Ditto….one of the best I’ve read in several years. Had me laughing out loud on several occaisons.

  51. Pursuing “legal” action got me gobsmacked.

  52. If Ithaca College were *really* serious about protecting their delicate snowflake customers, they would provide all students with a free GPS-enabled smartphone app. Then campus security would have the targeting coordinates they need to drone attack the aggressor and stamp out micro-aggressors on campus once and for all.

  53. Shit like this pretty much makes you want to run around campus calling everyone “nigger.” I am coming to understand Jeremiah True.

  54. As a college student, I’m really glad that this insanity hasn’t infiltrated my campus. (yet?)

    That being said, I’m really looking forward to finishing my degree and distancing myself from academia.

  55. My fingers, they itch to slap this bitch?um . . . send this sweet, deluded child to her room without any supper until she can figure out what she’s done wrong.

  56. “. . . a university, which is supposed to be about the free and open exchange of ideas” Wrong! It’s about coddling the youth extending their adolescence.

  57. It occurs to me that “The Microaggressors” would be a brilliant name for a band.

  58. Further proof that Peak Retard is a myth and derp is the worlds only unlimited resource.

  59. “The system would allow individuals reporting microaggressions to remain anonymous. However, junior Kyle James, vice president of communications and co-sponsor of the bill, said those reporting a microaggression would likely have to reveal their identity if they wanted to pursue any legal action.”

    What kind of “legal action” could possibly be pursued based on something like a badly taken compliment?

  60. I’m sick about hearing all these women who are attacked in college! Have you seen the reports on what these “innocent” women are doing on Spring Break in Florida and Mexico? They party, do drugs, get drunk, run around the beach almost naked sticking their butts in any males face or crotch. They act like the sluts they are. They know exactly what they are doing, so quit trying to make it sound like they are all innocent victims of illicit conduct, their not!

  61. Angela Pradhan: From SGA, a lot people supported it. They were confused about how it would actually play out, but they voted yes.

  62. “make Ithaca College a safer, more inclusive and diverse community for all students.”

    to make ithaca college an intolerable, paranoid, and crazy making environment for all students by redefining hypersensitivity as microaggression.

    there.

    i fixed it.

  63. “The bill, sponsored by Class of 2018 senator Angela Pradhan, calls for the implementation of a campus-wide online system”

    It’s going to be very ironic when she herself is constantly reported for microagressions. This is going to be like Mean Girls, except multiplied 100 times.

    Every spurned lover, relationship blow-up, bad look…

    I consider people who drink cappuccinos and bring them to class to be guilty of microagressions.

  64. “The bill, sponsored by Class of 2018 senator Angela Pradhan, calls for the implementation of a campus-wide online system”

    It’s going to be very ironic when she herself is constantly reported for microagressions. This is going to be like Mean Girls, except multiplied 100 times.

    Every spurned lover, relationship blow-up, bad look…

    I consider people who drink cappuccinos and bring them to class to be guilty of microagressions.

  65. The silver lining to this fracas is that the snowflake who cooked up this harebrained scheme has probably rendered herself unemployable outside of the coffee-serving industry.

    -jcr

  66. I really wished that had existed when I was in college. I would have made it my personal goal to be noted as a “microagressor extraordinaire” across campus. In every building, every floor, all the open areas, the Student Union….everywhere except the free speech zone.

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