The Independents

Tonight on The Independents: Immigrant Kids, Israel vs. Hamas, War on Women, Berkeley 'Free' Pot, Political Dynasties, Welfare vs. Jobs, Transparency Advocates vs. Obama, Plus Aftershow!


Murrieta? |||

Tonight's episode of The Independents (Fox Business Network, 9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, with re-airs three hours later) begins with the story that for weeks has swallowed The Drudge Report whole: All those illegal immigrant kids massed up in holding facilities near the U.S.-Mexico border. Tamar Jacoby, president of ImmigrationWorks USA, will break down the mechanics of who is coming and going and why; and the subject will be debated by Party Panelists Katie Pavlich (co-host, Outnumbered) and Emily Tisch Sussman (campaign director, Center for American Progress Action Fund). That duo is also slated to discuss the themes in Pavlich's new book, Assault and Flattery: The Truth About the Left and Their War on Women, and also Hillary Clinton's latest comments about political dynasties, and the city of Berkeley requiring medical marijuana dispensaries to give away two percent of their product to the poor.

Fox News Middle Eastern specialist Lisa Daftari will discuss the latest awfulness in Israel and Gaza, Manhattan Institute Senior Fellow (and former Labor Department chief economist) Diana Furchtgott-Roth will break down the connection between welfare payments and employment rates, and yours truly will talk about today's bracing letter to the Obama administration by 38 journalism/open-government groups denouncing his record on transparency.

Online aftershow begins on just after 10. Follow The Independents on Facebook at, follow on Twitter @ independentsFBN, tweet during the show & we'll use the best of 'em. Click on this page for more video of past segments.

NEXT: Ground War Threatens as Rockets Fall and Israel Retaliates

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  1. Foster vs. Kennedy! Kennedy vs. Welch! Welch vs. Foster! Me vs. zzzzzzzzzzzz…

  2. Never ran through some solid DC rainfall to get beer before. Worth it. Anything for alcohol is worth it.

    1. Proof: I once married a total sloot just to get all my friends drunk for free at a swanky upscale hotel.

      1. And how much was the blow on the roof? Well???

  3. “Lisa Daftari will discuss the latest awfulness in Israel and Gaza”

    I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that the conclusion is, ‘They’re all a bunch of crazy hatefilled cunts’.

    It takes real nuance, that middle-east specialist stuff.

    1. yes, but will she tell us which hate filled cunt$ are on our side?

      1. You need Daftari to tell you that?

        1. no, I don;t need anyone to tell me that. I just wondered if Lisa would be telling us that anyway.

    1. You know who else rolled over for the Krauts?

      1. Bratwurst and mustard?

    2. holy shit, that is hilarious!

      1. Oof. This is sad.

        Brazil Player Makes A Crushing, Heartfelt Apology To His Country After 7-1 Loss…..iew-2014-7

  4. TRIGGER WARNING, incoming Balko nutpunch: Man gunned down in own home over $200 pot bust

    Police initially said that the investigation of Westcott’s alleged drug dealing began because of neighbors’ complaints. However, when the Times could find no neighbors who had called police and no records of the complaints, the department revised this assertion, saying the case began with a tip from the same informer who later bought the marijuana.

    Revised is a generous word, here. A mistake would be if someone in the department misattributed a statement from one witness to another. Telling the press that a drug investigation that ended with a fatal SWAT raid began because of neighbor complaints when it really began because of a tip from a police informant isn’t a mistake. It’s a lie. It makes the police look as if they were merely obliging a community in need of their protection, not initiating a commando raid based on a tip from a shady source and what looks to have been no corroborating investigation at all.

    Ultimately, this violent, volatile raid came after the informant claimed to have bought $200 worth of pot. That’s why Westcott is dead: $200 worth of pot…The police found about $2.00 worth of pot the house. There’s no misplaced decimal there. Two dollars.

    There’s more context to the story that makes it even worse.

    1. Pretty sure that’s an old nutpunch here at HyR.

    2. The police found about $2.00 worth of pot the house. There’s no misplaced decimal there. Two dollars.

      One fucking bowl/roach? This dude is dead because of a fucking roach?

      1. Drugs are bad, mmmmkay?

        1. QED

    3. And, this will go into the stats as a “drug-related death”.

  5. Chengdu police attract new recruits with badass posters, promises of crossbows

    The Chengdu police force released a series of Hong Kong action film-inspired recruitment posters on their official Weibo page featuring hard-as-nails officers posing with guns and…crossbows.

    The six different posters showcase qualities that each applicant should possess, including “Bravery” and “Toughness”.

    Like this guy!

    Chengdu Police reportedly aim to fill 359 positions in the police force, including 174 posts for the integrated management team and 100 posts for special armed forces and SWAT teams. Within these teams, there are 11 to 20 openings for females.

    Police in the posters can be seen posing with a crossbow, a hunting weapon not generally associated with police. Indeed, some special armed force members are required to be trained in the ancient art.

    Eight of 100 posts for special armed forces are specifically tailored for people who were once in the People’s Liberation Army or Chinese Armed Force. Candidates are required to perform well in wrestling, kickboxing, shooting, climbing and should have a knowledge in military tactics. Also, 21 posts are opened for talents of various sports, such as basketball, football, volleyball, swimming and so on.

  6. Society of Professional Journalists to President Obama =
    “We call on you to take a stand to stop the spin and let the sunshine in.”

    Matt did the backup vocals!

  7. “The city of Berkeley requiring medical marijuana dispensaries to give away two percent of their product to the poor.”

    Next = they require the same thing of Porsche Dealerships.

  8. “All those illegal immigrant kids massed up in holding facilities near the U.S.-Mexico border”….

    You know, i think its about time we stopped all this debate about nativism and border security, reach deep into our hearts and do the right thing by these people, which is = offer them Full Mexican Citizenship, posthaste.

    1. Can we at least screen for the ones that will grow up to be hot first?

      1. We shall call it the Hayek Amnesty Clause.

        1. It works in so many ways.

          1. As will they, as will they.

      2. Dual citizenship for the hotties, and POTUS has right of prima noctis.

        1. I don’t think twinks are referred to as hotties.

  9. Y’know, usually when I see a news story about unaccompanied minors, I prepare for the inevitable appearance of creepy Epi offering candy. But I don’t think he’s into hispanics.

    1. Ahem.

  10. WaPo: Sure Hillary Clinton is rich, but she’s not rich-rich like Mitt Romney and others

    But just how rich is Clinton? Well, as the chart below shows, she would likely be wealthier than any other major 2016 presidential candidate or recent president who has filed an official federal financial report.

    But she’s not really in the same ballpark as two other recent candidates: Massachusetts’ own Mitt Romney and current Secretary of State John Kerry — or at least she wasn’t as of 2012.

    You’ll note that Clinton’s maximum estimated net worth ($25 million) was about 1/10th that of Romney, with whom Kerry is in the same ballpark. It’s important to note that the Clintons likely upped their net worth significantly after Hillary Clinton left as secretary of state — some have estimated it at $55 million or higher — but that’s a lot of ground to make up.

    Does it matter that Clinton’s wealth is not quite on-par with the Romneys and the Kerrys of the political world? Maybe not. Clearly, they are all far wealthier than the vast, vast majority of Americans…

    But it’s also worth noting that, while Romney has spent his life as a part of the upper economic echelon of Americans, the Clintons are relative newcomers to extreme wealth. And their extreme wealth isn’t quite as extreme as Romney’s.

    Note that Rand Paul is the poorest of the GOP candidates.

    1. Except that Romney actually created some value. What have the Clintons done besides be in politics?

      1. …Hours and hours of comedic entertainment?

        I mean, who hasn’t laughed at the Why doesn’t Hillary Clinton wear short skirts joke?

        1. Go ahead, tell it.

      2. That’s exactly what I thought. Making money in PE is somehow worse that getting $200k for an hour of spouting nonsense.

      3. What have the Clintons done besides be in politics?

        Well Hillary did get that child rapist off.

        1. Child rapist AND got off by HC? That’s some eclectic “taste” right there.

        2. But enough about Bill.

    2. Ad hominem bullshit

    3. So they’re going back two years to 2012, before the Clintons rode the bull market, and while they were still cashing in on her SecState position?

      What does this have to do with whether she is rich today, and whether she should be charging six figures for a canned speech?

  11. Lisa Daftari, the Iranian Jew who according to Wikipedia is “a staunch supporter of Israel and believes the Jewish state has every right to exist”, will be weighing in on the Israel-Hamas situation. Well gee, no one spoil the exciting conclusion for me.

    1. She is Persian and I have had a demonstrated attraction for such women (likely the result of extreme masochism or some other such mental defect).

      Plus, my name in Hebrew does translate as “yes” so I’m generally a hit with the Jewish girls.

        1. You know too much

        2. Coincidentally my favorite beer is also the Farsi word for fart: geuze

          1. My name is one letter off from a Victorian novelist. I know because so many people have remarked upon it.

            1. Oscar Wild? Is that you?

            2. Charles Sickens

            3. Lewdis Carroll

            4. Bram Stroker

            5. Emile Bronte?

              1. Honore de Ballzac?

            6. Nice tries, but nope.

            7. H. Wells?

              1. Bane Austen?

      1. Persians rank high on both hot and crazy… not sure which side of the line they’re on, though.

  12. The kid with the toy gun, murdered by the cop? Well, it was his fault ’cause dope:
    “Boy with toy gun said to be high when shot by cop”…..607005.php

  13. Today in derp, Marcotte battles with a commenter in one of her articles:

    Commenter: Wanting birth control is not really an insurable event. It is a low, predictable, regular expense, the exact opposite of what you would usually need insurance for. You can of course have a plan that covers low, predictable, regular expenses, but it isn’t clear what the benefit of involving insurance is in such cases. (Note that people not having the money for birth control is an entirely separate issue, and this mandate is about the worst way to address that concern because it does not target the poor). There is no risk pooling going on at all. The only reason in the world to insist on it being mandatory would be for purposes of cross-subsidization.

    Marcotte: So, you don’t know how health insurance works, I see. I would take that argument to a diabetic, re: their insulin, and see how far that gets you.

    1. My brain reels

      1. No, no- she’s right. Insulin is just like birth control and diabetes is just like pregnancy.

        herp, herp, herpaderp.

    2. She said that?




    3. Holy fuck she’s dumb.

    4. Teh stoopud burnz.

      I like how her rebuttal also demonstrates the brilliant rhetoric of “see, other people want teh free shit too”

    5. I would take that argument to a diabetic, re: their insulin,

      You mean, like this?

      Insulin is treatment for an actual medical condition, and one that you don’t really have a choice to take or not, or that you can plan for. In that way, its nothing like birth control, so I wouldn’t worry about your christfag employer making you buy your own.

    6. Insulin’s not even that expensive, is it? I just did some quick searches; seems like it ranges between $5 and $10 per day. That would suck if you’re barely getting by, but it’s not like it’s some insanely expensive treatment that no regular working stiff could afford.

  14. Tonight, I will probe the chicken-and-egg question of derpetology: do memes make progs stupid or do progs make stupid memes?

    I suspect the answer is “yes”.


    1. The link in that picture is very appropriate for HnR.

      1. coxrare? Cocks rare?

        No, not so much in these parts.

        1. In the actual picture. It’s a hot topic around here, along with deep dish and abortion.

          1. USAUncut? I have a proggie acquiantance who posts their shit all the time.

            It’s like the sole function of the internet is disproving the Flynn Effect.

    2. Memes are merely the mechanism for signaling to facebook friends that you’re not one of those people.

    3. I am sympathetic to locally produced energy for the reasons that John Robb outlines in Brave New War (i.e., it makes the power grid less fragile and more distributed, thus making an attack against it less effective).

      1. Answer: Small modular nuclear power 😉

        1. And the person who would freak out about that is the person with a smoke detector in every room, no?

    4. You have to be pretty dumb to think a country like Germany gets half its electricity from solar panels. Or even COULD get half its energy from solar power.

      1. Anytime someone utters such a plainly bullshit non-truth, you should see how far you can convince them of non-truths. Tell them with a completely straight face, “yeah, and even here in American, Fairbanks Alaska generates 90% of its winter heating energy from solar power too. I can’t believe our govt isn’t supporting this technology!”

        1. Funny- Germany gets about the same amount of sunlight as Alaska:


        2. Funny- Germany gets about the same amount of sunlight as Alaska:


          1. I had a good streak of no double posts going.

            All ruined!

          2. Ah, but Fairbanks gets none whatsoever in the winter and nothing but in the summer.

            1. I’ll let you in on another secret, but you gotta promise to keep this hush-hush, close-to-the-vest, OK?


              Every part of the earth’s surface experiences long periods of darkness.

              Now zip it. We got solar panels to sell.

      2. You have to be pretty dumb to think a country like Germany gets half its electricity from solar panels. Or even COULD get half its energy from solar power.

        I believe it refers to a sunny summer day when, for a moment, they got half their electricity that way.

    5. “The government supports expensive useless energy sources. It then ends up fucking over the poor as their utility bills skyrocket.” Is basically what I got from that..

      I mean, that is the current reality in Germany.

  15. Wait, there’s lots of central american violence? I must have missed the stories in the NY Times about it.

    1. There’s about to be a lot of South American violence. Especially with snotty Argentinians rubbing it in Brazilian faces.

      1. +7 goals

  16. Katie Pavlich:me::Veronica Vaughn:Billy Madison.


    1. That Katie Pavlich is one piece of ace. I know from experience, dude.

      1. 1588.

        “That is correct”


      2. She could be your Snack-pack

      3. Chris Farley died way too young.

  17. Kmele Foster: It’s Bush’s fault!

  18. Matt Welch: Save us, federal government!

  19. Kennedy burns new ahole in Foster!

  20. Two Adams? Adam and Eve not Adam and Adam!

  21. I nominate this as the standard response to you-know-who’s ranting:……52-PM.png

    This is also appropriate:


    1. Now you’ve done it. I’m going to get (another) drink.

  22. I really don’t understand why America is not enforcing their own laws. It’s not anti-immigration to follow the law, no?

    1. The same reason the Feds haven’t marched into Washington or Colorado to enforce Federal drug laws.

      1. Because the democrats have the wherewithal to avoid pissing their base off any more than they already have, going into a nasty midterm..

  23. If you voted for a third party YOU ARE TO BLAME!

    1. That’s a relief. I didn’t vote for a third party.

      (Or any other party.)

  24. Just a democratic bi-polar dynasty.

    1. Bush vs clit – is that the question?

  25. This person from CAP is actually reasonable. She won’t last long there.

  26. Cavuto has GaJo and what do < i The Independents have? This.

  27. Is this the single issue Friday show? We’re spending more than 3 minutes on a particular subject!

  28. Progs aren’t commies- they just really like Cuba:


    1. They also have the highest person to international travel by innertube ratio.

    2. Globalization is evil. It robs the US of domestic manufacturing jobs while exploiting cheap third world labor and making them dependent.

      Cuba is only a shithole because the evil Yankee imperialists won’t trade with them.

      //things progs believe at the same time

      1. I have long noted that bit of cognitive dissonance. “Capitalism is exploitation that creates poverty, and Cuba is poor because we won’t practice capitalism with them!”

    3. Wow. You can’t just accidentally be that dumb, you have to really hone your craft.

    4. Of course literacy is of little benefit when there is an entire catalogue of materials that you’re simply not allowed to read.

    5. The fuck? In what alternate universe does Cuba have the highest literacy rate in the world? And I do suspect Cuba’s 99.8% is just a modest version of North Korea’s 100%.

      1. Hey- communist countries might imprison and kill people by the millions, but it’s not like they would lie.

        “Mr. Burns, I think we can trust the president of Cuba

      2. I remember someone telling me that the reason the province her family was from in India had such a high literacy rate was that the communists ran it and found it more efficient to propagandize the region if everyone could read the propaganda.

        1. Ah, Kerala. Funny how they take credit for the literacy but not for the poverty.

          A prog once told me that China’s rising prosperity was from their one-child policy. When I asked how to account for India’s rising prosperity, he said it must be because they can afford more birth control.

          “Prosperity through sterility- Women of tomorrow demand an empty cradle!”

          1. Yeah, my friend joked along the lines of “they can’t do anything right, but everyone can read.”

  29. My lord, what sort of human/alien hybrid is Tamar Jacoby? Her hairline starts in the middle of her forehead.

    1. she reminds me of robert rubin

      1. I see what you mean.

  30. Boy, it sounds like a lot of work. Time to pivot to jobs.

  31. Illegal immigrant kids- Jonathan Swift had the answer.

  32. Remember the Irish? And look how that turned out.

  33. Exactly. I like her point about 50 000 people just showing up.

    Americans are compassionate but that’s crazy and a huge responsibility.

  34. I think the technical term she is describing is ‘cluster fuck’

  35. This woman missed out on a fantastic career as a Female Vulcan

  36. Foster is sitting too close to Welch. Respect the personal space.

  37. Hey, everyone, We have to be thoughtful and generous! It’s a mandate.

  38. I caught Tha Independents on TV for the first time the other night (I don’t watch shit like that online): I think Howard Stern did that shtick in the 80s and 90s.

    However, that was followed by Stossel, who I only watched when he was a mizzerble TV dope during the 80s. He came across as earnest and I dug the way he handled Lou Dobbs and John Bolton. I wrongly assumed that his articles in Reason were opportunistic and phony – again, I watched him in the 80s – and have now set aside my prejudice against him and have become a bona fide fan.

    You just wanna reach through the TV screen and strangle that emmer-effer Bolton.

    1. Reading the comments, I guess The Independents is now broadcasting. I’m watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes instead.

    2. Bolton is the worst.

    3. Mongo: Mongo no go. Mongo stay with Sheriff Bart. Sheriff Bart first man ever whip Mongo. Mongo impressed. Have deep feelings for Sheriff Bart.

  39. New blood feud…same as the old blood feud.

  40. Michael Jackson?

  41. She’s a Middle East specialist? I won’t believe it until she does that ululating thing.

    C’mon, humor us!

  42. Under the Iron Dome! CBS and Marvel would sue Israel if they could only get their attorneys to do it.

  43. Uh, is Foster wearing the same shirt from yesterday? Just without a tie.

  44. finish a sentence Lisa. It starts to sound like a logic stew with chunks of presumption.

  45. The Independents Attire Review, 8 July 2014

    IRS Theme Song-Edition

    – Kennedy: Holy Ophthalmics Batman! Its Attack of The Spec-u-lator, who strikes her enemies down with instant Myopic Astigmatisms. Given the lack of patterned dresses worn over the last 8 months, the impact of this particular number (and its powerful resonance with Kennedy’s Iconic, Bespectacled Visage) is likewise *stunning*. This is rated = 4-‘Gawd-Dammn!’s. A new favorite.

    – Matt: We were extremely positive on Matt last night; tonight’s ‘grey'(?) shirt and blue/silver stripe tie are equally “on”. Matt is now 2-for-2 with shirt-tie combos – and a strong Wednesday would represent a milestone trifecta of success. We saw painful echoes of the past in Neil Cavuto tonight, and hope that we will never see the like again.

    – Kmele: Last nights daring bow-tie success is followed with a more-relaxed, tieless version. We accept ‘business casual’ Kmele – but hope for an eventual return of the “Mack Daddy” we witnessed a few weeks ago, where he rocked a black crew neck with a chain… and was missing only a cigar and sunglasses. The show needs some OG flavor from time to time, and i don’t think Matt is auditioning for the part.

    One Love
    ???? ???

    1. Will hats, T-shirts, and mouse pads with this new libertarian logo be offered any time soon??


    1. I’m starting to feel unwelcomed here.

      1. Next time bring poutine and ketchup chips to the viewing party.

  47. She’s a real downer on the Arabs.

  48. Lies…Palestinians do not read.

  49. Fun fact: the SPLC has no black lawyers…..alL-5.jpeg

    1. Excellent! I am guessing they don;t have any lawyers in poverty either. I wonder if any of them are even southern?

      1. I like to say SPLC stands for Southern Preposterous Lie Center.

    2. There are no good white basketball players

    3. Morris Dees is a scam artist in it for the money. How many heads of “poverty” organizations have huge mansions filled with expensive objects? How many “poverty” non-profits have secret offshore bank accounts?

      1. “Filthy Crooked Lawfare Trolls” just didn’t resonate with people as well as SPLC in the progressive focus groups, and didn’t look nearly as good when printed on coffee mugs, hemp tote bags, and sworn affidavits..

    1. Kmele = closet anti-Semite?

      1. I was just to ask the same of Tom Hanks, but that was the most offensive thing I have ever seen against the Jewish people since Treblinka.

        1. you haven’t been to nearly enough bar-mitzvahs.

          1. You sound like my mom.

            1. And you should wear a sweater

              1. Now you’re making me enter PTSD.

  50. Question for Daftari =

    “is “groove” REALLY in the heart?”

    1. I always thought she was hot in that video

      1. Indeed. I would tear 90’s Lady Kier’s ass up.

  51. Kennedy cut things off because she was afraid her co-host was going to call Israel “Hymietown”.

  52. Daftari *pffft* We really need Pat Condell to speak some truth to power.

    1. Indeed.

    2. The great thing about him is that he appears to do everything in one take.

      1. He claims he does and unscripted, as well. I’m wont to believe him as he was a stand-up comic, and you have to be able to think on your feet to be successful in that career.

    3. Condell’s videos are pretty good, I always thought this one was pretty funny. He’s got balls…

  53. You put the beer in the saddlebags, Kmele. Geez.

  54. A real Rainbow Party, hooray!

    1. Whoppers for everyone!

  55. Totally off topic.. but I was pleasantly surprised when I read that Reason article about the EPA raising rad limits by a factor of 350.. That may be the only sane thing I can point out that the EPA has done in a long time.

    Now we just need the Nuclear Regulatory Committee to follow suit.. which may be not be so easy.

    1. Sounds like a coverup for some still-to-be discovered govt f-up. Watch this space.

      1. From that post:

        Under the old limits, a tiny “dirty bomb” explosion in an American city would have meant evacuating hundreds of thousands of people.

        So perhaps they are preparing us to not be so upset about a dirty bomb terror attack. Not that it will work.

    1. The good half

  56. Burning cross marking the baseline.

  57. A nice response to Obamaphiles:…..5ftzex.jpg

  58. I enjoy the fact that if there’s even a hint of anything ‘baseball’, that they all jump on matt immediately because they know he’s a desperate baseball nerd. For the Angels…. which I can sort of respect, being a knicks guy. if you’re gonna ‘fan’, you have to Fan Deep. which means *no winning*

  59. Prediction: The second worst aftershow ever.

    1. Every aftershow is second worst after the Aftershow that Dare Not Be Named

    2. Robert Palmer sings ‘Addicted to Gov”

      1. wth? why did that go under your comment?

  60. Hobby Lobby proved that contraception can be banned!

    1. Hobby Lobby proved that even so-called liberty-loving people do not know liberty. They are so conditioned by our media.

  61. “We didn’t do that but there totally was a war on women!”

    1. Yeah that was nice.

    2. Who won? I’m feeling like I lost.

  62. Progressives are sooo lame.

  63. I am guessing the free weed will be the crap weed, filled with stems and seeds

    1. I certainly hope so.

  64. Can we simply ask anyone who says “War on X”…

    “what the fuck do you mean ‘war’? Really. War? *existential conflict*?”

    Because entertaining this stupid rhetorical trope makes us all dumber.

    Reversing the idea back against the people using it (like this lady) is just as bad. It keeps it alive.

  65. OT: I see Reason hit the trifecta of “reefer & borders & homos, oh my!” today.

    I will switch things up to another favorite topic. In order to declare a person legally dead, they must have no brain activity. If brain activity is the rule for determining death, it should be the rule for determining life. A fetus does not have brain activity before about 40 days. Therefore, elective abortions should be allowed up until 40 days.

    1. …before they can drive?

    2. I think commenting death occurs when the abortion thread is born 😉

    3. This has been my position for many years.

    4. First off, adopting this standard would punch a U-Haul sized hole in Roe v. Wade and save lots of lives, so be my guest and try to get it implemented!

      But second off, just because we consider someone dead when his brain shuts down doesn’t speak to his status before he’s developed a brain.

      1. If you cut my head off I die, but in the earliest stages of my life I didn’t have a head to cut off, and I was still alive.

        1. Are you proposing an experiment? I’m intrigued.

    5. Unless a woman pees on a stick, how is she going to know she’s pregnant during that time period. By the time of her missed period, she could have only like 10 days! And pee sticks cost money! And the package for the pee sticks might only be written in English!

      Why do you hate poor minority immigrant women, Derp?

  66. Kennedy’s Trailblazers’ reference is about 14 years old but still enjoyed.

  67. A funny pic with the Hildabeast:…..ckmeme.gif

  68. Apparently they’re not mutually exclusive.

  69. Diana deserves both titles she has because she zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzz zzz uh huh?

  70. Every kind of prog-derp in one meme- I particularly enjoy the top left-most panel:…..1_1280.png

  71. Every kind of prog-derp in one meme- I particularly enjoy the top left-most panel:…..1_1280.png

    1. That guy might be attractive if he were shaved and deloused

      1. Listen, Harry Potter is allowed to experiment now that he’s in college. You’d be trying to “find” yourself too after all he’s been through.

      2. Such soft features. He might be an attractive lady. South Korean, Thai and Brazilian surgeons work miracles these days.

    2. Solid.



  73. I am trying to place the accent on this guest…I cannot. It seems to be a strange amalgam…or an affectation?

    1. South African

      1. If it’s South African how come I understand her?

        1. She’s been de-Kaffir-nated by Kmele.

      2. that makes sense. A ‘Yace’ for ‘Yes’ would seal the deal.

      3. I actually have no idea and i guessed.

        Her bio doesn’t help

  74. Slack or tight. Heyyyyyy-ohhhhhhhhhhh.

  75. haha, bobblehead welch graphic made me laugh

  76. I don’t understand the title of this segment. Where it’s Matt? At least call it Who Welches the Welchers.

    1. They need to abandon the cutesy names for segments.

      1. Ok, topical storm can stay

        I guess that is the only one, so my entire gripe(!) is moot

        1. Keepin-It K’mele
          Kennedy’s Shit Fit

          (I might have made the last one up.)

          1. (I might have inserted a stray apostrophe into Kmele’s name for no good reason.)

  77. Not a single mention of the trouncing of brazil?


  78. nice suit, dobbs

  79. Because Obama seems like he is extremely sensitive to *shame*?

  80. Video: Designer goes for ride on world’s tallest water slide in Kansas City

    Lot of bleeps at the beginning of the video when he starts to go down.

    1. That wasn’t ‘going down’. That was ‘falling off’.

      1. Thats what … she…. uhm… I told…. her….

    2. When i was a kid, las vegas had the tallest waterslide in america. it was awesome.

      1. *on reflection = longest was still Actionpark. But Vegas had a 3story+ one.

  81. wtf, the press has always had a contentious relationship with the president? what is she talking about?

  82. The stream is basically tits up for me so I’m going to go ahead and assume I was right. Penultimately worst aftershow ever.

    1. better than average. Kmeles on a roll

  83. Obama = Totally transparent.

    Except if you ask for any actual, real, comparable data about the ACA.

  84. Kmele should just be given a mic and an hour and call that a show

  85. And now, it’s time to play Spot the Not!, where I post 3 comments and you must decide which one is a spoof written by me.

    Here are your choices:

    1. Great article, this is why we also see a lot of white supremacists embracing libertarianism these days. They couldn’t get their way via democracy, in fact democracy is what has stopped them. So they see their opportunity in a libertarian society where might makes right and they can create their white homeland via force and intimidation within a geographical area they carve out. The Northwest is usually where they envision their white supremacist homeland.

    2. What libertardians always get wrong (among many things) is that power abhors a vacuum. They think small government is the answer, but they’re asking the wrong question. Small government just provides an opening for something else to take its place–and that something is ALWAYS worse than the government it vanquished. History has shown this time and time again–Somalia, Mexico, Iraq and Afghanistan are but a few current examples.

    3. Let’s review what libertarians believe: they think that corporations are people, that people should be allowed to own machine guns, that rich people should get tax breaks, and that that climate change is a hoax. And they got all their ideas from one person- Ayn Rand, who btw, took Social Security checks. They’re the communists of the right.

    1. #3?

    2. I vote 3

      1 and 2 are actually coherent

    3. I’m going with “Trick question: all of them are real”.

    4. 3 sounds a little to well informed, but I will still go with 1 as the Not!

    5. I’m going to go with 1 as a fake.

    6. I will reveal the answer in 10 minutes.

      Hurry, hurry, hurry! Place your bets! Can you “Spot the Not”?

      1. 1 is fake

    7. I’m going 3

    8. 2

    9. I bet #2. 100 Zimbabwe dollars.

      1. I raise you a dozen rolls of Venezuelan toilet paper and a copy of Hillary Clinton’s ‘Hard Choices’ on #1.

        1. I raise you 12 monocles and one Haitian orphan

        2. “A dozen rolls of Venezuelan toilet paper.”

          Imaginary bets don’t count.

          1. I was hoarding the toilet paper. Not to sell it for a mark-up but rather to do my part in the Yankee imperialist coproate conspiracy to sabotage Venezuela’s social democracy.

            In any case, my head servant has been dispatched to your compound with your winnings. He’ll be the one riding in an ivory carved carriage carried by a dozen Sri Lankan orphans.

        3. “Venezuelan toilet paper and a copy of Hillary Clinton’s ‘Hard Choices'”

          Isn’t that redundant?

    10. I’m gonna say all three were posted by you, posting as 1.Murican, 2.Mary, and sarcastic 3.Derpetologist.

    11. And now, the moment of truth!

      If you guessed #1, you’re wrong!

      It was #3.

      But you gotta admit, it was kind of hard to tell wasn’t it?

      The real comments were from Rawstory and HuffPo.

      1. Sorry, #3 kind of stood out for me. It didn’t pass the ideological Turing test.

        1. The first two were just so…*into* it, the third looked like a sarcastic reiteration of derpy talking points. Try harder.

      2. Shit my wife is gonna be pissed I depleted our monocle collection, and lost another orphan to gambling

        1. …”and lost another orphan to gambling”

          You can always buy another.

      3. Yours was written too clearly and it didn’t have enough stupid insults like “libertardians”. That’s how I could tell.

        1. That’s a good point. Although the invocation of Ayn Rand was what sold me on it.

          Number 1 seemed too bizarre to be from an actual comment but that just shows you can’t underestimate the stupid to be found at Raw Story.

        2. yeah, that was sort of the screen I used as well.

          Both the first 2 *start* with a completely retarded preconception. The third *builds up to a stupid conclusion using a chain of real examples*.

      4. I’ll try harder next time. I made a boo-boo: #1 and #2 were from Salon:…..theocrats/

  86. Keeping it Kmele, what a choleserfuck.

  87. Enter Sandman. Well done Kmele.

  88. Could Pavlovich put on her cowgirl outfit again?

  89. kmele does metallica

    that at least gets us north of ‘worst aftershow’

  90. Holla back. Was that Matt or Kmele?

    1. They are good.

    2. I saw that earlier but forgot about checking it out. Thanks for reposting it

    3. RAPE CULTURE: Judge says “accused” rapists deserve “due process”

    4. Also brilliant.

      Why I harassed Hobby Lobby employees at their work and homes and why it’s a social justice victory

        Where Malcolm X was wrong: Telling blacks to defend themselves is NRA nonsense, they should have relied on police

        1. …”they should have relied on police”

          To shoot them, I guess.

      2. Not far from a Feministing article posted in the PM Links where some idiot decided to go into a Hobby Lobby and rearrange stuff into pro-choice messages.

        Which makes a her hero even thought it was obnoxious and counterproductive.

          Why I intentionally got pregnant so I could experience an abortion

        2. And HL probably made some poor under paid and under appreciated female employee front and straighten all that merchandise, whilst chuckling about denying her reproductive needz…

  91. I haven’t read this New Republic article, but the Twitter teaser had me confused at first – I thought it was the Salon parody account:

    Sarah Palin is the key to understanding the bind Boehner’s gotten himself into, writes @brianbeutler:

  92. Underwater photos of dogs fetching balls…

    1. Thank you. Now i have handy items with which to give children nightmares.

    2. A lot of them look like the dog from The Mask, when he puts on the mask.…../200_s.gif

    3. “…dogs fetching balls..”

      Interesting double entendre…is that a freudian slip?

      1. Ask the people who came up with the headline.

  93. “fetching” = handsome, well-tailored
    “balls” = testicles.

    I’ll pass, thanks.

    … Hobbit

    1. OK, canines retrieving round objects.

  94. Memes are merely the mechanism for signaling to facebook friends that you’re not one of those people.
    Cac chuong trinh du lich nha trang | chuong trinh du lich ha long gia re nam 2014

    1. Of all the comments, the bot picked mine!

  95. Is NutraSweet usually on this late? I just noticed this:

    Auric Demonocles

    Why were you default blocked in fascr (the Firefox reasonable)? I just now realized that you haven’t disappeared for weeks and weeks, your posts have just been hidden. Does the add-on just hate the diabetic?


    Beats me. It might be a totality of the number of people who have blocked me or someone might have added me manually to the default block list.

    But you might not have missed much. I went on vacation and moved houses in that time period and haven’t posted very often.

    There is no default blocklist, and if there was, Sug wouldn’t be on it. There is also no auto-generated one based on (un)popularity.

    It was either error on Auric’s part or a bug, though on the latest version (released yesterday) I see Sug’s posts fine.

    If somebody sees Auric and/or Sug in the AM Links or whatever, please let them know; I’d appreciate it.

  96. “Scientists discover that atheists might not exist, and that’s not a joke”

    (article is apparently written by an atheist, citing the research of other people who appear to be atheists)…..oke-139982

    1. “38% of people who identified themselves as atheist or agnostic went on to claim to believe in a God or a Higher Power”

      and his name shall be called Chocolate Jesus

      1. But seriously though, it was an interesting article

      2. “38% of people who identified themselves as atheist or agnostic went on to claim to believe in a God or a Higher Power”

        38% or the respondents do not understand the definitions of the words “atheist” or “Agnostic”.

  97. Who’s up for another game of Spot the Not? This round will feature real quotes from Alternet. Don’t walk away! This your chance to win back your monocles, orphans, and quatloos! Here are your choices:

    1. I am of the firm belief all these nutz with guns, these coal rollers, are nothing but poor losers, with the collective IQ in single digits, having a hissy fit because they lost an election to a smart black man, not once, but twice.

    2. Fucking stupid redneck, polluting teabaggers! No doubt their trucks have gun racks and confedrit flags on the back window. We already knew they hate black people & women and love guns & bibles. Now their new hobby is wrecking the planet. I hope these inbred yokels give themselves cancer.
    Gee, do you think they voted for Bush?

    3. I know this is going to be hard, but try to remember that you are speaking people (liberals) who are Wa-a-ay smarter than you are, we just don’t buy your shit. What’s the matter? Are you guys starting to see that what you’re doing is just foolish, and so, as usual, you need to start blaming the “other guy”? So Kochish of you. Try to control your children. They are making fools of you.

    1. How do you play this? Do you literally just want to find the word ‘not?’


      I am of the firm belief all these nutz with guns, these coal rollers, are nothing but poor losers, with the collective IQ in single digits, having a hissy fit because they lost an election to a smart black man, not once, but twice.

      Found it, but I don’t know what the point was.

    2. I’m also impressed by something I noticed recently: The less literate a leftist is, the more time he’ll spend declaring himself intellectually superior to his opponents.

      For example, you never heard Hitchens or Orwell claiming that all conservatives are stupid. On the other hand, people who can’t write a sentence without falling back on a series of misspelled curse words are always certain to claim that they’re noble philosopher kings whose brilliance none of us could hope to match.

      Do you think they might be compensating for some insecurity?

    3. Two of the quotes are real. One is a spoof by me. Can you find it? The answer will be revealed when I return from the gym in about an hour.

      Good luck!

      1. I know this is going to be hard, but try to remember that you are speaking people (liberals) who are Wa-a-ay smarter than you are, we just don’t buy your shit. What’s the matter? Are you guys starting to see that what you’re doing is just foolish, and so, as usual, you need to start blaming the “other guy”? So Kochish of you. Try to control your children. They are making fools of you.

        This is fake for two reasons.

        1. The ‘liberals’ appears in parentheses which I don’t think someone actually would have done.

        2. It’s directed towards someone. I doubt any conservative was commenting on Alternet. The other two are directed towards nebulous ‘teabaggers,’ which strikes me as more realistic.

    4. Is 2 yours?

    5. I’m going with 1. It’s poor sentence structure but the underlying thought is clear and linear.

      2 and 3 are both spastic, arrogant, and suggest some sort of mental imbalance, therefore they appear genuine.

      1. now I’m waffling. 1 is pretty clear. Like it’s hard for the derpetologist to write terribly so he just added a bunch of commas.
        but 2 has both the invocation of Bush and “teabaggers” and “confedrit”. It’s a little over the top.

        1. I’m sticking with 2. I’ve spent too much time thinking about this.

        2. When I first started reading 2 I thought that was the fake one until I got to the last sentence. It’s like the writer had a micro-seizure and forgot what the thread of the comment was and then just tacked on the Bush thing to save face. That level of dysfunction seems like it would be hard to imitate.

    6. I’m going with 1.

      2 has the smug, 3 the sputtering incoherence, but 1 seems like something that gets said quite a bit by those types, and is thus the perfect thing to imitate.

      I’ll wager a rhinoceros horn-tipped dagger made of steel forged by the Sikh smiths of Jalalabad and my ownership stake in an underground San Francisco fight club where tech workers come to see bums fight enslaved hipsters.

      1. I’m going with 1 for the same reason. It feels too calculated to hit all the notes.

    7. So is this son of a bitch ever going to give us our answer?

    8. Two.

    9. And now, the shocking conclusion of Spot the Not!: Alternet Edition

      Many thought the correct answer was 2.

      And they were right:…..qus_thread

      1. I got it right, partly, I admit, because the term “coal roller” sounded so weird that I assumed you wouldn’t make it up.

        But basically, yours stood out – it was a string of cliches.

        Are you sure you’ve fully entered into your role?

        You must empty your mind…you must *become* the derp.

        1. Coal rollers is a thing.

          I don’t understand it but people seem very upset about it.

          1. interesting

          2. I’ve watched a couple of videos on it. Some are really obnoxious like your pic. Some are nothing more than “chipped” diesels.

            My diesel is chipped and blows smoke when I get on it. But the chip gives me 3-4 extra mpg, so it’s green.

            1. I saw you mention something about that in another thread, isn’t coal soot considered less environmentally hazardous than gas exhaust, even though it looks worse or is that wildly outdated information with the catalytic converter and whatnot?

              1. I don’t know which is worse. I’m sure if you asked 10 experts, you’d get 10 different answers.

                I’m sure some assholes are doing it for effect and to piss off environmentalists. I’m also sure some of it is environmentalists blowing things out of proportion.

  98. This is a real tweet from Salon:

    Salon.comVerified account
    Let’s nationalize Amazon and Google: Publicly funded technology built Big Tech — time to make them utilities

    1. Yes, discussed several times today. To be fair to the Salonistas, 98% of the people in the comments thought the article was batshit crazy.

      I counted only 2 self-described “democratic socialists” that actually stood up for the article. The rest were embarrassed liberals or conservatives and libertarians.

  99. “When Will We Have an Atheist President?

    “So far this year, a rightward-leaning Supreme Court has issued two major rulings [Town of Greece and Hobby Lobby] granting sweeping new privileges to religious belief. Atheists and secularists in America are angry and frustrated, and it’s natural to wonder when we’ll have a government that heeds our wishes. Is there any prospect of an atheist president any time soon, or a nonbeliever in some other high political office?…

    “…It may take a long time for the dam to break, but when it does happen, the change could take place quite rapidly, just as same-sex marriage went from unthinkable to unstoppable within a short few years.

    “While atheists, lacking a central authority or sacred text, are a diverse and contentious bunch and that will likely never change, I think there are some basic principles we can agree on. I’ve listed some of them in the past: LGBT rights, separation of church and state, public support for science and education, and defense of reproductive choice, to name a few. And when there *is* an actual atheist candidate, the excitement of that milestone will no doubt lead atheists to line up behind her.”…..president/

    1. The same author, writing about Hobby Lobby:…..hes-chaos/

    2. “Atheists and secularists in America are angry and frustrated,”

      Not the ones I know; we’re quite pleased with it.

    3. Jesus, Eddie, get a new hobby.

      Try drinking or masturbating or something.

      1. If Eddie is going to commit a deadly sin, he’s going to go hardcore.

        Like wrath or gluttony.


          1. I so want to see this go down. I make a delightful Dutch apple pie and will contribute to the cause.

      2. I find that trolling, as a hobby, gives me the same pleasure without the mess or headaches of the alternatives.

    4. Assumes this atheist will agree on a number of issues that have nothing to do with atheism and further assumes that atheist will be a woman.

      One does not get more atheist than myself, yet if I were on the supreme court I would have ruled the same in the HL case, maybe even going further than the court did.

      I believe very strongly in freedom of conscience. In spiting people that disagree with me, not so much.

  100. Ok. I just had a socialist tell me that they’re all for “human freedom.” Yup. That’s what they said. I’m already nicely drunk and it’s still raising my blood pressure. Fuckin slavers.

    1. OK, I see the horse’s head, but where’s the back part…oh, I see it.

      1. “I asked the Secret Service to find me *whores*!”

        1. “You’re the only neigh-sayer in this crowd.”

          1. “Hi, there, Bottom, Puck’s curse hasn’t worn off yet, I see.”

    2. And here I thought I was the only one who was not impressed with that woman’s appearance…

      1. Beats my pair of jacks.

    3. Michelle? What are you doing here baby?

    4. While scholars cannot be entirely certain, it is believed Obama preferring to be ‘jumped by well-endowed men wearing horse masks’ is the ‘creepy sexual proclivity’ that Michelle Obama referred to as the wedge that drove their marriage apart in her modestly selling 2018 tell-all.

    5. The President looks a gift horse in the mouth.

      1. Serious allegations made regarding president Obama and white slavery.

  101. San Francisco has a ‘housing shortage’, whatever that means and according to the city government. So you would presume the government would encourage construction of housing to ease this shortage, right?
    Well, go to your fave map source, and check the overhead view of Hyde and Bay streets in SF, and check these photos, too:
    “SF’s Francisco Reservoir a step closer to becoming park”…..607587.php

    I guess the ‘park shortage’ is greater than the ‘housing shortage’, or the city government is full of slimy, lefty hypocrites.
    (BTW, the lot is a block away from Gary Danko’s place; wonderful)

  102. Top 21 conservative novels to take to the beach…and hopefully leave back at the hotel when you go to frolic in the surf.

  103. My confidence in our yutes was reaffirmed tonight.

    Went fishing and as I was getting in the stream two boys, maybe 12, were swimming just below me. They yell up, “How’s the fishing?”

    I say, “Just starting, how’s the swimming?”

    Without hesitation one of them shoots back, “Just waiting for some girls to show up so we can go skinny dipping.”

    “Good plan.”


    1. Excellent.

    1. Ugh, I’ve filtered all this shit on Facebook and you bring it here?

    2. You’re Picaso’s “Girl Before a Mirror”! This masterpiece was painted in 1932 during Picasso’s cubism period. Picasso very bold with his artwork, charting new artistic territory. Like his cubist work of art, you’re progressive, modern, liberal and a deep thinker. You create your life as you see fit, and pay little attention to the rules and conventions of the past!

      Don’t really know if this is good or bad? Not really the “art” kinda guy.

      1. I don’t know, I think the whole point of art is that it is subjective and can be valued differently by different people.

        Ironic, then, that most artists are raging leftists when the value of their work validates a basic rule of capitalism.

        1. I’m not convinced that most artists are leftists. I would say most art critics are leftists. They tend to interpret art in politically correct ways and they try to encourage the popularity of more PC art. Artists themselves tend to be more apolitical.

          Speaking of capitalism and art, I’m reminded of an Andy Warhol quote.

          “Being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art. Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art.”

          Pop Art was all about celebrating the artistic aspects of commercialism.

    3. I’m several dogs playing poker…it’s hard to tell if I’m dumb or hip and postmodern, and I can often be found at yard sales.

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