The Independents

Tonight on The Independents: Failed Cities

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From Detroit to Harrisburg, Pa., Chicago to San Berdoo, America's cities are teetering on the verge of dysfunction and even bankruptcy, as municipalities and counties sag under the weight of bloated public-sector pension obligations and economically reckless governance. Tonight's episode of The Independents (Fox Business Network, 9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, repeats three hours later) visits all these cities and more, to confront the horror stories and point the way forward toward a better tomorrow.

The show starts in Detroit, appropriately, with a tour by Kennedy and a discussion with local boy and former Michigan congressman Thaddeus McCotter. Then we show some of Jim Epstein's gobsmacking Reason TV reporting from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, which you can watch in full below:

Next, John Tillman, president and CEO of the Illinois Policy Institute, will explain why he thinks Chicago might be the next Detroit (hint: rhymes with "tensions"). Then Kennedy visits the California basket cases of Vernon and San Bernardino, and solicits Reason.com columnist Steven Greenhut for analysis. Fox Business Network Washington Correspondent Rich Edson turns the corner into more positive territory by talking about a new study that highlights the best big cities in which to start a business, which transitions into an interview with Mayor Rusty Paul of Sandy Springs, Ga., "The City That Outsourced Everything."

Joining Kennedy and Matt Welch in the guest-hosting chair for the full hour is none other than beloved Reason Senior Editor Peter Suderman, who is tasked with telling America what we've all learned by the end of the show. It's a packed episode of reportage and analysis, doom and glimmers of hope, and you should watch it on your television set.

Related Reason content: "How to Break an American City," "Anarchy in Detroit," "Reason Saves Cleveland," and the Reason Foundation's Pension Reform Newsletter.

NEXT: Uruguay's Buttoned-Down Version of Marijuana Legalization

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  1. Sandy Springs, Ga. “The City That Outsourcedlawed Dildoes.”

    1. They were also going to outlaw condoms but they forgot. You know, in one ear and out the rubber.

      1. In one ear? I don’t think you are doing it right.

        1. Of course, I’ve had it in the ear before

      2. Were kibby here, she wouldn’t let you get away with that Serious.

  2. It is interesting how every single failed city is a single party Prog Utopia. The Progs just seem to have bad luck or something.

    1. It’s always a powerful Democratic machine fueled by unions and low-info voters who can’t imagine doing anything except pull that big D lever.

      1. The former board dweller MNG one time in response to some story about Detroit said “yeah a one party state is always a problem”. Oh really, there are a few Republican one party states but they don’t seem to turn out as badly. Funny that.

        1. Well, would the few republican one-party states be Agricultural-Subsidy Scam machines?

          I would bet so.

          The main difference in the GOP scam is that, not relying on unions and big-city tax revenues, they rely on small-town Brahmins and Regional Land Barons.

          I’ve seen the ‘country-mafia’ as well as the ‘city-mafia’. Neither is particularly appealing. One could argue the GOP machines do ‘less damage’; however, they are no more appealing from a ‘fair Governance’ standpoint.

          1. The difference is none of those places are going bankrupt or becoming anything like the hellholes that places like Detroit are.

  3. I was driving back from the desert on I-10 and had to get off for gas in San Bernardino. I have been to the worst neighborhoods in Los Angeles, and they are nothing compared to what I saw in San Bernardino. There was a house on fire a few blocks from the gas station, and nobody did anything. No fire dept, no police, just a burning house.

    1. Didn’t San Bernadino used to be a pretty nice if middle class town? I am not that familiar with LA but I don’t remember hearing about San Bernadino being a bad area.

      1. I would have called it working class.
        Pretty much the entire inland empire collapsed in ’08. A lot of the logistics jobs that were there are gone forever.

        1. If the GOP was anything but the stupid party, they would be organizing protests of unemployed people from Central California who were put out of work by shutting off the water. I would give anything to see 20,000 mostly Hispanic unemployed ag workers marching on the Sierra Club offices in San Fransisco or on the governor’s mansion. The country deserves the spectacle of a bunch of millionaire, white environmentalists telling a bunch of working class Mexicans they can go fuck themselves because mother earth demands it.

          1. Sounds like something the ghost of Hunter S. Thompson should cover.

            1. The world needs more Hunter S. Thompsons. The only way to stop these people is through agitation and subversion.

              1. More Bill Murray or more Johnny Depp Hunter S. Thompsons?

          2. Victor Davis Hanson writes about that quite a bit, although he is a bit anti-immigrant:
            http://www.nationalreview.com/…..vis-hanson

            1. He is. But he makes great points about what a corrupt self serving oligarchy California has become.

            2. Victor Davis Hansen is a fucking idiot.

              I read his book about Iraq. It was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read, and War History is littered with really bad writers. But this guy is more than Bad, because, like Bo Cara etc., he pretends to be about 5X smarter than he actually is.

              The War Nerd tore the book a new asshole

              1. I read his book about Iraq. It was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read, and War History is littered with really bad writers. But this guy is more than Bad, because, like Bo Cara etc., he pretends to be about 5X smarter than he actually is.

                You should read Carnage and Culture. It’s even fucking dumber.

                He basically argues that ‘the West’ is successful in war because throughout the entire history of time we have had better ‘culture’ than the savages on our Eastern borders.

                The way he makes this argument is through cherrypicking like 7 battles that the ‘western’ side won and ignoring the thousands of years of history in which Europe was a stagnant backwater while China was building the Great Wall and the Middle East was making mathematical breakthroughs.

                VDH really is a nativist scumbag.

                1. I’m glad I didn’t link to his more well know article about the Central Valley.

                2. ” ignoring the thousands of years of history in which Europe was a stagnant backwater while China was building the Great Wall and the Middle East was making mathematical breakthroughs.”

                  You might want to read this before you start spouting the party line on Europe being a “backwater”:

                  http://www.amazon.com/Cathedra…..waterwheel

                  1. Were you to actually read, you’d see he said that it was a backwater as COMPARED TO CHINA DURING A CERTAIN PERIOD.

                    Which means you’re an idiot who can’t read.

          3. I like it.

    2. My parents came very close to buying a house out there a decade ago. Really dodged a bullet there in retrospect.

      1. Compared to the OC? Yeah. I have never seen anything like it. Scary even during daylight.

        1. Ha, I have an aunt who kept buying further and further out. She’s now stuck in Devore (San Bernadino county) “The finest in rural San Bernadino living.”

          She used to have a cute house in West Culver City.

    3. I was driving back from the desert on I-10

      I’m so proud of you right now, Playa.

      THE

      1. This is 50 miles outside of LA. I’m just following convention.

        1. THE 10 runs from Santa Monica to Downtown.

          1. THE 10 runs from Santa Monica to DowntownSudden.

            Btw, y’all missed out on the $1 oysters on wednesday. I even treated Ranned, being the Kochtopus philanthropist I am and all.

            1. Jesse gets free short ribs at my house tonight. The butcher fucked up my pork belly, so it’s on hold.

              1. Now how come I never get that invite? Oh well. After I walk my dog, I think I’m gonna go tackle another 12 oysters tonight.

  4. I watched one of the shows with a few people who aren’t libertarians.
    They were interested to hear different points of view, but without exception thought Kennedy should shut up and let the guest finish a spiel without interrupting constantly or making lame-ass jokes.

    1. I really don’t get why people like her so much. She is cute and all but she is not that bright an nowhere near as funny as she thinks she is.

      1. She sounds just as awful as I imagine her to be.

        1. #TIWTANFL

      2. I really don’t get why people like her so much. She is cute and all but she is not that bright an nowhere near as funny as she thinks she is.

        I’d still.

    2. “creech|5.16.14 @ 3:40PM|#

      I watched one of the shows with a few people who aren’t libertarians.
      They were interested to hear different points of view, but without exception thought Kennedy should shut up and let the guest finish a spiel without interrupting constantly or making lame-ass jokes.”

      So what you’re saying is, they’re just like everyone else?

  5. What no Camden or Trenton? Why you hating on Jersey? Or, er, is that lovin?

    1. For my money Camden is the worst city in America. Newark doesn’t seem to bad after you have seen Camden.

      1. The Philly area has some beauties, Reading, Camden, and maybe worst of all, Chester.

        1. It is a shame. Philly is so awful and it need not be. There was once a really productive city there.

        2. Allentown is pretty rough too.

          1. See anywhere coal country in PA.

            1. Not really. The former coal country is just depressed and abandoned, not inhabited by thugs. Allentown, Reading, Philly, those are thug central.

          2. Allentown is on its way back up. Its “suburbs” are now a place where people commute to NYC 4 days a week. You have to move FAST to get a decent house in the Allentown suburbs. Allentown city itself has shithole schools but is growing because of Puerto Ricans moving there, probably for the service jobs for all the NYC commuters.

    2. Newark, Jersey City, Bayonne…

      1. JC and Bayonne are not in the same league as Newark – nowhere near.

          1. To be fair, Newark has one or two nice areas too.

      2. I wonder does Jersey has more failed cities than any other state?

        We might not have the biggest failed city, but we have the most failed cities. Na-Na.

    3. Yeah, Camden is a real hellhole. There’s a tent city right off the highway. I see it on the way home from work every day.

      1. Here it is. I guess they’re kicking everyone out. I did see a cop car there yesterday.

        1. That’s all sorts of evil. “Oh look people coping with difficult circumstances. Let’s destroy what little they have.”

  6. Isn’t San Bernardino where all the Okies settled?

    “You and me got sense. Them Okies got no sense and no feeling. They ain’t human. Human being wouldn’t live the way they do. Human being couldn’t stand to be so miserable.”

    1. What the fuck?! Trigger warning!

    2. Them Okies got no sense and no feeling. They ain’t human.

      Sounds pretty Libertarian to me.

      1. Steinbeck…libertarian?

        *BARF*

    3. That must be from the nice part of SB.

    4. It is ok warty. You can call them “Goddamn Okies”.

    5. *barf*

  7. Slightly OT but I am sitting here at the office on this beautiful afternoon trying to write a blog for my boss. I don’t if the other members of the H&R Legal Department do this but I think it’s a fucking waste of my time.

    1. Yeah, I know someone who writes (or wrote) blogs for 1%ers – not as a legal matter, just to get their company’s name out there. Also ghost-writes memoirs.

  8. Update on Harrisburg: Getting better. Parking was leased out to private company, pissing off everybody. Incinerator deal mostly resolved, I think. New mayor: Still a Democrat, but not a crazy God squader like the one he defeated or an arrogant dictator like the long-time mayor who got them into this mess in the first place through creative financing.

    1. It hasn’t been swallowed into the earth by sinkholes yet?

      1. Hey, we’re (1) on a river floodplain and (2) smack dab in the middle of a limestone valley that extends for hundreds of miles. Bad governence can be fixed. Geology can’t.

        1. I’m from York county, I used to like going to the museums in Harrisburg as a kid.

        2. Couldn’t, like, Three Mile Island blow up and kill you all or something? I’m not asking for much.

          1. That’s pretty rude.

            It tried once but punked out. S-central PA For Lyfe!

            1. I’ve lived in PA. I know what Harrisburg is. KILL IT WITH NUCLEAR FIRE

              1. Harrisburg exists so people in Allentown can tell themselves at least it’s not that bad.

          2. My wife’s aunt and uncle have a cabin on the island next to TMI. That’s where we go in the summer to drink beer all day and burn shit. I’d miss that if it turned into a super-mutant filled radioactive wasteland.

  9. They mean well.

  10. I’m going to try cooking a pork belly tonight. That is all.

    1. Try? There is no try, only do. Pork belly is super easy. And delicious.

      1. It’s my first time. I’m split between 2 recipes. 1 is spicy Korean, and the other is Mexican citrus braised for tacos with pickled onions.

        1. Get another one and make both. You idiot.

        2. If it’s your first time, I would suggest keeping it simple so that you know what the baseline flavor is. It’ll still be delicious.

          1. Yeah, I was going to do it Sous Vide, but then I’d have to cure it with pink salt to be safe. I think the pressure cooker is probably my best bet.

            1. Whoa whoa whoa, pressure cooker? You won’t get any crisp on it! Dude, broiler or grill. Come on.

              1. You could also find yourself on a terror watch list.

    2. How will I ever manage to make this giant hunk of pork fat taste good? It’s literally impossible!

      1. I got some duck fat at Whole Foods the other day. Maybe that will help.

        1. Use that for french fries, yo…

        2. Dude, do not waste duck fat on something already filled with pork fat. Don’t be that guy.

          Cook some potatoes in the duck fat at least.

          1. Thats what french fries are

        3. Also, why are you buying duck fat? Buy a whole duck and roast it and you’ll have more duck fat than you know what to do with, plus a whole roasted duck.

          It’s like I have to spell everything out for you.

          1. Impulse buy. A pint for 3 bucks, couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

            1. And as a L.A. resident, you are required to cook duck tonight so that the kings can win and I can walk to three blackhawks games next week.

        4. Hey, maybe you should cook home fries in that duck fat.

        5. Fries it is, then. Probably with parmesan and garlic.

    3. Braised chinese red style? That’s my favorite. So much delicious fat…

      1. Not today. I do it with boneless chicken thighs all the time, though.
        This is a good shortcut.

    1. They couldn’t sell it and were too fucking poor and stupid to demolish it.

    2. Someday, someone will use it to film an awesome shootout scene for a post-apocalyptic movie. It’s good that Detroit was forward-thinking enough not to tear it down.

    3. There’s probably a few good deals at that auction. I wonder what the HOA would have to say about me putting up a 5000 watt halogen as my porch light?

    4. You’d think some enterprising Detroit residents would have stripped that place bare of anything with any dollar value whatsoever by now.

      How is there glassware still in there?

      Why hasn’t all the wiring been stripped from the walls, and from all the out-of-date electronics?

      1. “”Dollar value?””

        DONT YOU KNOW THAT CAPITALISM IS WHAT DESTROYED DETROIT?

      2. Oh, that’s easily explained. It’s because the Silverdome is not in Detroit. It’s a good fourteen miles north of Eight Mile Road, well into Oakland County. If the security guards call the cops, people responsible to the Oakland County sheriff show up, not people responsible to the mayor of Detroit. If they’re caught, they’re prosecuted by the Oakland County prosecutor’s office, not the Wayne County office. And in Oakland County, the electorate demands that crime be controlled.

    5. I imagine in my mind a montage of this Monument of Apathy, a rotting symbol of a city that Destroyed Itself from Within…

      …and panning to a picture of Godzilla, with a tear running down his face.

      “What a waste”

    6. Those photos make me want to play Max Payne 3 again.

    7. I’d buy that for a dollar!

      … Hobbit

    8. Sometimes it’s hard to avoid the feeling that our civilization is collapsing. Did you know that some rural roads in Michigan are having the asphalt ground up, so that they can go back to gravel? Less maintenance.

  11. Here’s an interesting article =

    http://www.theamericanconserva…..oparentis/

    Its an interesting point how we’ve gone from the “Sexual revolution” on college campuses (‘liberating’ young men and women to explore sexuality) – to turning colleges into Federal-Mandated Sex Police, where everyone must monitor and punish and regulate sexual activity lest ‘rape culture!’ be allowed to flourish.

    While I don’t entirely agree with its summary – which to some degree is a very un-libertarian, social-conservative notion that Cultural Prior Restraint is necessary to prevent the anarchy which liberalism eventually uses to justify Leviathan – I think the logic is extremely compelling.

    e.g. (some small edits)

    ” this immorality tale is Hobbes in microcosm: first tradition and culture must be eliminated as arbitrary and unjust (“natural man”). Then, absent such norms, anarchy is the result (“the state of nature”). Finding anarchy unbearable, we turn to a sovereign as our sole protector, that “Mortall God” who will protect us from ourselves; We have been liberated from all custom and tradition, all authority that sought to educate by habit… and replaced it with a distant authority that punishes us when we abuse our freedoms. And, now lacking any informal and local forms of authority, it’s virtually assured that those abuses will regularly occur, and that the role of the State in ever more minute personal affairs will increase (“Prerogative”).”

    1. Its an interesting point how we’ve gone from the “Sexual revolution” on college campuses (‘liberating’ young men and women to explore sexuality) – to turning colleges into Federal-Mandated Sex Police, where everyone must monitor and punish and regulate sexual activity lest ‘rape culture!’ be allowed to flourish.

      If you generalized that, you’d summarize a lot of recent progressivism. The Velvet Mafia, the global warming mongers, etc.

    2. To quote Iowahawk (from memory): “If I understand college administrators correctly, colleges are hotbeds of rape and racism that everyone should attend.”

      1. Come to college, where we’ll teach you to be terrified of interacting with diverse groups of people for fear of being publicly tarred by false accusations of sexual assault and racism.

        Teaching graduates to keep their mouth shut around anyone who they don’t trust totally is our job!

  12. Did Kennedy really say this? Has she not heard of, oh, say, Rothbard?

    “You have said that Libertarianism is going to cause chaos because they believe in no Govt, because they believe in cutting out most federal agencies and that’s a misnomer. I mean, I would challenge you to come up with some Libertarian authors and literature that you have read that supports this position.”

    1. “A Misnomer”

      uh, here @ 2:27

      https://reason.com/blog/2014/05…..s-dont-wor

  13. You’re a restaurant, corner store, etc., and don’t like protesters on the sidewalk protesting you or your practices?

    Too bad – the New Hampshire House had a vote on this, and decided not to restrict protesters in those situations.

    You’re a meat processing facility and you don’t like those “animal-rights” protesters hanging around on the sidewalk and calling you and your employees Bambi-killers?

    Too bad – the New Hampshire House had a vote on this, and decided not to restrict protesters in those situations.

    Do you see where this is going?

    There’s one type of establishment the House *does* want to protect from protesters by setting up a 25-foot buffer zone.

    No prizes for guessing what kind of establishment.

    http://www.newhampshire.com/ar…..whampshire

    But there’s no need to provide a buffer zone to restrict those sane and sensible animal-rights protesters:

    http://www.foxnews.com/enterta…..eson-home/

    1. While I see your point (and frankly, had hoped your example would be to point out that “protesting *politicians*” requires a permit and a buffer-zone – which no doubt is the case)…

      …I suspect an argument has been made that ‘patrons’ of said clinic differ substantially from patrons of your corner store/restaurant examples in at least 2 or 3 ways, such that there is a compelling case to be made that some respect be given to the institution in order to provide for them to carry on with their business without ‘obstruction’.

      The argument I *imagine* (not being particularly interested in the abortion issue myself) is made is that ‘patrons’ of said clinics would require a modicum of distance from protestors in order that there not be any effect that barred them from utilizing the services.

      The distance required I’d guess would be a) not physically bar people from access, and b) allow for patrons to at least attempt discreet access.

      The latter would be taking into consideration that in the past, protestors have photographed people entering abortion clinics and posted their photos in public places/online in ways that people considered threats to their person or privacy.

      etc.

      Its probably fairly similar elsewhere, not just NH

      1. Plus you can’t ever be too careful with the health of pregnant women, ya know. The might get jostled or something.

      2. I know that I and my fellow-protesters never blocked or, to my knowledge, photographed anyone – the only photography I saw was from the institution’s surveillance camera.

        But if someone wanted to photograph either us or the patients, they could do it from a distance, outside any proposed buffer zone. I hear cameras are quite sophisticated nowadays.

        I imagine that Liam Neeson wouldn’t have minded a buffer zone in front of his condo keeping the angry animal-rights protesters away from the entrance.

        Especially since animal rights types are not uniformly nonviolent –

        http://www.theguardian.com/com…..h-violence

        1. And I just remembered that some photojournalism student who was covering both sides did some photography – not part of the prolife movement.

        2. Here’s a recent story about animal-rights intimidation –

          http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…..22751.html

          1. Other then the bit about them blowing up the one guys car years ok, there’s nothing in there that I would call intimidation.

            1. There’s a site about the extremists –

              http://www.animalrightsextremism.info/

              1. Oh I know all about those poxy vandals. They operate mostly in California from what I hear. If/When CA goes shall issue, I think their boldness will be tapered significantly.

                1. I once had a date with a UC Berkeley biologist who had her personal info splashed around the web by animal rights types who wished her ill. And the sort of research she did with animals didn’t involve hurting the animals, either.


        3. Notorious G.K.C.|5.16.14 @ 8:38PM|#

          I know that I and my fellow-protesters never blocked or, to my knowledge, photographed anyone”

          I know this was an honest statement, but – if you are a protestor at abortion clinics – you can’t pretend to be ignorant of the entire history of Abortion Protests, and that the existent laws that protect said clinics came about because of what might fairly be described as “the over-zealousness of your forebears”?

          1. I know there were people like you describe, but the violent extremists are rarer in the prolife movement than in the abolitionist movement, which was shot through with violence at the highest levels. And even then, that didn’t justify the censorship of the abolitionists which the South engaged in. Most abolitionists used pamphlets and speeches against slavery, and this was precisely what angered the supporters of slavery.

            Likewise today with the prolifers and the supporters of abortion – it’s the *message* they’re trying to suppress – they’re trying to “protect” patients against prolife literature and discussion.

            1. And as I discuss above, the animal-righters have an even more worrisome extremist problem than the prolifers, so where are the laws against animal-rights picketers? There’s a lot of selective enforcement, it seems to me.

  14. ” Hey, lay off Detroit. Them people is going through Mad Max times.”

  15. Do you see where this is going?

    No way, brah, I was totally stunned by you talking about something involving abortion.

    1. Filter him. It saves a lot of time spent scrolling over his idiotic obsessions.

      1. Eh, Eddie’s not too bad, and contributes meaningfully to discussions beyond the scope of his Popery. The only person I have perma-filtered is PB, though Bo is really pushing to make The List.

        1. Totally aside, as I remarked in a game thread a few days ago I am running through BL2 again now that I finally got around to getting all the DLC and have really enjoyed playing Gaige so far. Do you have any particular Anarchy skill tree tips, or should I just keep running around blasting the shit out of everything with Orphan Maker and various Vladof pistols? It’s been fun, but seems like it can’t last past the first playthrough.

          1. I’ve never played the mechromancer. I’m a Siren expert, really, as she was my major character in both B1 and B2 because she fits my playing style perfectly. NutraSweet put some time in with a Gaige character, though, so maybe you could ask him about it next week. If I recall correctly he enjoyed it quite a bit.

          2. If you want to run an Anarchy Gaige, get yourself a Conference Call. With that baby, you just sort of point in the direction of whatever you want to die and start clicking.

            1. I’ve never found a Conference Call, unfortunately. And they removed how a Bee would amp every one of its projectiles fully (they spread it out among the projectiles), making a CC/Bee combo supposedly insane.

              1. Me neither, but I guess the Vault Hunter relic and enough Warrior kills and I imagine I would eventually come up with one.

  16. Accounts of unusual sexual activities among penguins, observed a century ago by a member of Captain Scott’s polar team, are finally being made public.

    So that’s why they fired Bylsma and Shero.

    1. Paulette Goddard?

      1. You will have to explain that reference.

        1. She was a wife of Burgess Meredith played the Penguin in the Adam West Batman show.

          1. Ah. I like her as an actress and think she’s one of the hottest women of the 1940s (no small feat, given the competition), but the penguin connection eluded me.

  17. I was in Detroit in February with my friend who grew up off the Southfield Freeway, one of the less pleasant parts of the city, and that’s saying something. What amazed me is that he would point out rusted out warehouses and factories that according to him didn’t look any different than they did 30+ years ago.

    They always say “it looks like a bomb went off or something” but in Detroit that bomb went off thirty years ago. Nothing has changed since, which is what makes it so crazy.

  18. Women, minorities hardest hit by New York Times –

    “I admit that I have been obsessed about what has transpired at The NY Times for the last two days. I have read every single piece that has come out of this awful scrum which has really has become about gender, power, leadership and pay equity. I have been profoundly impressed by the female journalists who have given tremendous context to this news. They are part of Jill Abramson and the women of her generation’s legacy….

    “When the news hit on Wednesday afternoon that Jill Abramson had been fired it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t know Jill Abramson, yet at the same time her story hit so close to home, especially when you think about Hollywood. Abramson’s firing came on the same day that the Cannes Film Festival opened and I spent the day writing and talking about the need for gender diversity at all levels of the film business.”

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/me…..orbeswoman

  19. Guess who:

    “Guns are a tool.” It’s the mantra of gun lovers. But in order for a thing to be a “tool”, you need to use it. The problem is that the function of a gun is to kill people. Unfortunately for gun nuts, murder is illegal. The only, in theory anyway, legal reason to kill someone is self-defense. But, realistically speaking, the “opportunity” for self-defense simply doesn’t come up that often. The gun industry lobby would love you to believe people are banging doors down all the time and, if you are patient, one day that gun will come in handy. But I think most gun nuts know, deep down inside, that the odds that they will ever use their tool for what it’s meant for are very low. Most of us simply will never have a legitimate reason to kill someone. No big surprise that some assholes, like George Zimmerman and Byron Smith, therefore go out of their way to create “self-defense” scenarios so that gun goes to use.

      1. Nailed it!

    1. The problem is that the function of a gun is to kill people.

      All mine must be defective then. There are over 500 million guns in the United States. With ~10,000 homicides by firearm a year, that’s something like 99.999 percent of guns that weren’t used to kill a human being.

      The only, in theory anyway, legal reason to kill someone is self-defense.

      Or in defense of another. But if I see someone attacking you, I’ll just turn and walk the other way. Wouldn’t want to compromise your principles.

      that the odds that they will ever use their tool for what it’s meant for are very low.

      It’s not the odds, it’s the stakes.

      1. It’s like how I keep intentionally running over spike strips with my car to give myself an excuse to change the tire and not have that jack go to waste.

        1. Why does anyone *need* to change a tire himself when the police are just a phone call away?

          1. Why does anyone *need* to change a tire himself when the police are just a phone call away?

            My fucking spare was flat once, had to call AAA. The guy showed up, looked at me, and said “Is it just the tire? Or is something else wrong?” I said “Spares flat. Got an air compressor?”

            He was a lot friendlier when he discovered that I did in fact know how to change a tire.

    2. The only, in theory anyway, legal reason to kill someone is self-defense. But, realistically speaking, the “opportunity” for self-defense simply doesn’t come up that often.

      Nor does the opportunity to have a tree fall on my house or my car tumble into a ditch, but I have homeowners insurance and wear my seat-belt anyway, just for good measure.
      There’s also that axiom about carrying a gun for the same reason you carry a condom.

  20. What’s with the early posting of this thread?

    1. What, you like “rules” and “structure” ? Maybe you aren’t CUT OUT for libertarianism.

    1. THAT, SIR, is a little early!

      Are you trying to make me watch Kabuto?

      1. and then catch Dobbs!

  21. ” the problem is that the function of a typewriter is to write stuff. Some people write stupid shit, so typewriters are only for writing stupid shit, and if not everyone is writing stupid shit I gues I’ll do it. Or something.”

    1. The function of a fire extinguisher is to extinguish a fire. But the trouble with that is that most people who own a fire extinguisher won’t have to use it.

      Therefore extinguisher-nuts are going to start fires so they can use their precious red, shiny phallic foam-spewing symbols of masculinity.

      1. Therefore extinguisher-nuts are going to start fires so they can use their precious red, shiny phallic foam-spewing symbols of masculinity.

        There’s a mathematician joke with the punchline, “The mathematician picks up the flame-thrower and sets fire to the house, thereby reducing the problem to a case already solved.”

  22. Game 7 is on.

  23. Aw, man…no FBN at the hotel.

    1. but you have internets?

      1. Very slow internets. & dinner soon.

    2. What hotel?

      1. Comfort Inn in Claremore, OK. It’s…got a good place to eat dinner nearby?

        1. Standby, research forthcoming.

          1. Sounds like you’re having Mexican.

            1. Nope, some chain BBQ place.

            2. Unless you want to go to “Rib Crib”. I would.

              #1: http://www.tripadvisor.com/Res…..ahoma.html

              #2: http://www.tripadvisor.com/Res…..ahoma.html

              1. We are not driving anywhere else after sitting in the car for ten hours — the Rib Crib is perfectly serviceable compared to some of our options in other cities.

                1. I would eat at Rib Crib just for the name. Say Hi to Tony for me.

                  1. There is Rib Crib near me. Great food for the price.

                2. And I bet they have gin at the bar instead of just tequila based drinks.

                3. And who is we? Do you have a mouse in your pocket, or is Serious in the car?

                  1. While she is indeed the only reason I’d endure that length of a road trip just to get to the Cleveland area, I’m sitting comfortably at home watching this show and alternately the Kings-Ducks game.

                    I’m assuming ‘we’ is her mother. Or it could be a hitchhiker she intends to later murder for shiggles.

                    1. If somebody took me on a date to Rib Crib, I would be interested in something long term.

                    2. Meh, you gotta get my a little further north into Kansas City for some OK Joe’s (mmmm…. can’t wait to have a Z-man when I head out there in November for my Chiefs game). That is about the only time I’d consider long term with a woman.

  24. I’m watching this for the first time in a couple weeks tonight. I have been boycotting it because I cannot justify staying up late and being tired in the morning just to see Kennedy foam at the mouth over some nonsense. If you see this, Matt Welch, I am really pulling for you to get to host the show. That is all.

  25. Kennedy looks….dirty tonight? And not the sexy kind.

    1. Different funs for different ones.

  26. Failed city? Los Angeles. It’s leeching off of the suburbs.

    1. I can’t imagine how bad the roads will be if we get a wet El Nino winter. Thousands upon thousands of potholes.

      1. My city is squared away. I just have to be on the lookout when I go the airport.

    2. Thanks again!

  27. Solid color dresses are fine but a solid color polo shirt looks frumpy.

  28. Evan Williams Black. Cos the price is nice.

    1. What’s the reason?

      It’s belly pleasin’

  29. Just one?

  30. This entire thing a clip show?

  31. HIPSTER! Shoot it!

    1. They’re protected in some jurisdictions. Well, at least a small limit.

  32. This world is so fucking surreal.

  33. Jesus, what a hell-hole.

  34. General Longstreet is jealous of that guy’s beard.

  35. Damn she’s way cuter without all the TV makeup bullshit

    1. Agreed, except for the wardrobe issues. All she is missing is an oatmeal spoon.

  36. Detroit- Cleansed by Fire?

    1. Naah. Cleansed by Union-Dems.

  37. Welcome back, McCotter

    1. Mr. McCott-ah!

  38. Buy a house for $1500. Starve to death from no work.

    1. I’d take a chance at that price.

      1. Just to burn it down for fun? There’s 10 times that amount in tax liability. One of the perks of Detroit.

    2. also, the city will then come around with their hand out for the back taxes on the property.

    3. Claim the abandoned lots next to your house and enjoy subsistence farming.

  39. What was with those hand gestures?

  40. Yes, the way to prosper is to be horizontal.

    …Is the kind of tasteless joke I will avoid.

    1. There’s a whore joke in there somewhere.

      1. You mean the one I just told? Duh…

        1. I was being facetious. Quit othering me, bro!

    2. Hey! Save yourself for marriage! (You won’t know what you’re missing).

      1. I don’t want to see the picture of him and his daddy at the purity ball.

        1. I do.

  41. Why save the city? There’s little work, the place is a shithole, and the weather is pretty bad. There once were geographic and economic reasons why Detroit was prosperous. Things have changed. Just move to where the jobs and opportunities are now.

  42. http://bit.ly/1hSo5iK

    I have no title for this.

    1. #we’lltradeyou

  43. A prog responds to smuggled footage from the White Privilege Conference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCRxkgq2CFU

    Me: What do lefty professors say in private? Watch to find out.

    Him: As opposed to what elected Republican officials say in public EVERY day?

    Me: Let’s suppose that’s true. Does that magically erase the stupid things the people in the video said? No. So why aren’t you condemning them? Oh that’s right- because you are on their team.

    Him: No I didn’t even watch the video. But conservatives say shit about rape and incest and abortion on a near daily basis and I have never heard one peep from you about it. So why is this of concern for you now?

    Me: Watch the video, then comment.

    Him: A white person bitching about people discussing white privledge, is the exact definition of white privledge. I experienced white privledge myself earlier tonight when I walked out of a Best Buy and the security alarm went off. I said to the security guy sitting 10 feet away “I’m stealing stuff.” And he waved me through the door without even getting up. If you cannot admit, that wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t a white guy, you are just lying to yourself.

    1. I said to the security guy sitting 10 feet away “I’m stealing stuff.” And he waved me through the door

      Usually one just shows the guard the receipt. Perhaps the guard saw him in the checkout? Nah, that one’s too normal. Must be Privilege. Idiot.

    2. I said to the security guy sitting 10 feet away “I’m stealing stuff.”

      Shitthatneverhappened.txt

  44. Hate to sound like a hippie, but when I hear an ad with a reassuring woman’s voice talking about simple living, accompanied by pictures of babies and flowers, etc., I expect there to be a large impersonal corporation behind it,

  45. Wow. That was some delusional Mayor.

  46. Cont’d

    Me: Did you watch the video yet?

    Him: I watched a few minutes of it. It seems to be showcasing a bunch of general out of context statements.

    Me: Watch the whole thing.

    Him: I didn’t get to that part 1) and 2) like I said, that is literally almost the exact same thing Catholic officials, elected Republicans, Republican officials, and Conservative pundits say every single day. I ask you again, why, all of a sudden is a statement like that so upsetting to you? Did you get this upset at any Republicans saying exactly the same type of shit if not worse?

    1. When you look into the derp, the derp looks also into you.

  47. Obama cited that guy as his role model.

  48. I had totally forgotten about the whole museum boondoggle. God, that was great.

  49. Did Suderman use a sock as a necktie?

    1. Nice one. Must remember that for future reviews.

  50. Didn’t some Austrian fellow talk about the folly of building shit there is no demand for during a boom?

    ***and no, not THAT Austrian fellow

    1. Ahnuld?

      1. No, he meant that bearded drag queen that won Eurovision. Duh.

    2. Hell, didn’t Keynes talk about paying down debt during the good times and only running the deficits during depressions?

  51. Government’s job is to take the financial risks with other people’s money that they won’t take themselves.

    1. Or to give other people the money to do that.

      1. Now we’re quoting Tim Geitner?

    2. Politicians never consider the obvious. Well, that, or politicians are just evil. Incidentally, I have been deferring to the latter.

  52. He probably got all that shit for half the stated sale value and kept 50% for his own self

  53. $4.95 a trade? You LIE, TradeKing!!!

  54. Next, John Tillman, president and CEO of the Illinois Policy Institute, will explain why he thinks Chicago might be the next Detroit (hint: rhymes with “tensions”).

    Well I’m stumped. Has the left come up with a new term for our vibrant brothers?

    1. Shut the fuck up, American.

      1. I went out with a Jewess last week. Within one hour she admitted the following:

        -she doesn’t believe in God
        -she doesn’t want kids
        -she believes in the gender wage gap
        -she thinks Americans should pay more in taxes
        -she’s on Xanax
        -she does coke
        -she watches porn and masturbates every night

        Jews are like living, breathing stereotypes. Evil flows in their bloodlines. They are natural enemies of all that is good, beautiful, and true.

        1. So are you going on a second date?

          1. I love you a little right now, EvH.

            No homo.

            1. Is your gaydar going off here? This dude doesn’t like big breasted Jews who watch porn and masturbate.

              1. Hetero, but his mother was overly liberated and he has internal shame about it.

                Also if it’s the same guy as past Americans, hung like a mosquito and also experiences shame about that. Hence discomfort with her porn and masturbatory pastime and his past the obsession with black on white sex.

                Possibly his relationship with women is so broken he should get good at taking dick, but I don’t think he’s a homo by proclivity.

              2. In fairness, a number of my male friends fit that exact description…

          2. Heavens no. I didn’t know she was a Jewess initially and she didn’t give any hints, she even had dyed her hair blond to complete the illusion. Probably got a nose job too.

            1. Come on, don’t let stuff like this get in the way of true love!

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xweiQukBM_k

              1. skat kat?

        2. Quick, we know who you are, turn the crazy up to 11.

        3. So you’ve just described most human beings in major cities.

          Am confused how this is a Jewish stereotype.

          1. Because it’s our resident Nazi.

            1. Well, I know, but that seems extra ham-fisted.

              1. I mean I doubt he actually went on a date.

        4. Are you sure you aren’t perhaps homosexual?

          If I went on a date with a Jew chick who did coke and masturbated, I wouldn’t be home until the next morning.

          1. Too each his own, I guess….

        5. -she watches porn and masturbates every night

          Keeper, dude.

        6. That Jewess is perfect. If you can’t see that you are a homo.

          1. Perfect is a strong word, she does seem to be a statist, but that’s a universal flaw in our day and age. Everything else seems good.

      2. Irish with the gutsy early call. Nicely done.

    2. vibrant brothers

      American?

  55. What about the murder rate?

  56. You know, I just realized…the show isn’t keeping me up to date on Beyonce’s latest fight with that Sterling guy…and what about Kate Middleton?

  57. What rock bands are all gay?

    1. RUSH

    2. Scissor Sisters?

      1. Scissor Sisters?

        If you google that, no rock bands turn up, but a lot of other awesome stuff does.

        1. Actually, the entire first page of Google results is about the band.

      2. They have a straight woman in there they thought was a drag queen at first.

      3. Sleator Kinney, they were pretty good.

      1. Consensus!

    3. Queen?

  58. Is it time to buy Chicago bonds? I like the sound of junk.

    1. My junk makes music.

  59. How do you get them to change it? That presupposes that they actually give a fuck about the welfare of the people living there. The local pols don’t see them as people, they see them as a revenue stream.

  60. Didn’t Starship make a song about that?

    “We built this City (on gay rock bands)”

    1. No, that was Jefferson Airplane.

        1. They switched to Free Bird halfway through. lol

          1. I didn’t make it that far.

            That’s funny.

  61. An assortment of straw man arguments from my fav Derpbook scratching post:

    So people don’t need to eat?

    So what will they eat without food and without money to buy food? Cats? Dogs? Squirrels? Pigeons? Their own children? What are you talking about? People are starving WITH food stamps.

    Your argument seems to be that people that have no money won’t starve if they have no food. Which they need money to buy.

    So all elderly people have children? My 58 year old landlord had no children and no surviving family members besides an estranged sister. When he turns 65, should he just be left in the woods to die?

    1. Maybe he should have used the additional wealth he would have had thanks to not having kids to provide for his own retirement? Crazy right.

      Oh wait:

      My 58 year old landlord

      He did.

  62. Imma guess the answer to the California question: Because the state government is more fucked up than any city?

    1. Rhymes with Jemocrats.

  63. GROSSSSSS!

    What am I watching?

  64. The Independents Attire Review, 16 May 2014

    Oh, Marie-Edition

    – Kennedy: Tinky-Winky, Redux; this is our #2 favorite Izod on Kennedy, with the Turqouise/Miami-Vice one being the Ne Plus Ultra. We like it best when Kennedy compliments the bold monochromes with something equally bold on the lips; the light pink here is a nice touch.

    – Matt: Agent Smith, Redux; also know as “The Pleasantville” or “My Three Sons”, this getup is… well, somewhat better than ‘the worst things’ Matt wears, which can be physically painful to experience. The effect here makes Matt about as dynamic and attractive as a Mortician with Viteligo. We feel this might work better if the The Independents were an avante garde Science-Fiction program about Gangster-Mimes.

    – Sudermanchild: If he had a grey top-hat we think this would be passible daily-wear for Willy Wonka. Some bizarre contrast-effect on my TV, combined with his Little Schoolboy shirt-collar, is making his navy jacket look purple. Our past primary complaint about Peter (aside from the now-dead Faux Hawk) has been the subtle impression of Shoulder-Deficit he radiates. In this case, we’ll blame the undersized/odd-shaped collar, which makes his head look large and exaggerates the ‘goofy’ effect.

    We have to throw a Win to Kennedy here just for being the only person who doesn’t inspire cringes.

    Thank You

    1. Gilmore, did you miss Suderman’s tie? That fucking tie. *headdesk*

      1. Yeah, ‘the sock’.

        It did merit comment. I actually think it would have looked nice if he had a proper oxford button down shirt and… I don’t know, better posture.

        I mean I don’t think a horizontal striped tie is by default a bad thing; in this case, yes. But I think it looked worse due to context. This is sort of what I meant by the ‘willy wonka’ look. There was something sort of foppish overall that made the tie look goofy.

  65. God damn!!! Look at that city hall!!! There’s your problem.

    1. The city’s monument to poor planning and TIF financing. Luckily, it will also make a fine homeless shelter in the future.

  66. And two of the dumber things the Derpbook prog has said so far:

    Because they don’t have governments, they have oligarchic dictatorships, exactly what the right wing wants for this country.

    By not starting the Iraq War, Social Security could have been funded for 20 years +.

    Except of course the government never runs out of money.

    1. Because they don’t have governments, they have oligarchic dictatorships, exactly what the right wing wants for this country.

      Something about political dynasties.

    2. Me counts good- 3 things

    3. I found an H. P. Lovecraft quote which, if you aren’t careful, you will soon be screaming at the top of your lungs:

      “If I am mad, it is mercy! May the gods pity the man who in his callousness can remain sane to the hideous end!”

    4. If wasn’t for Cyprus then Greece would be a utopia now!

    5. By not starting the Iraq War, Social Security could have been funded for 20 years +.

      ???

      The Iraq war cost less per year than Social Security does.

      Iraq cost 2 trillion dollars so far. Social security paid out 808 billion dollars in 2013. By my count, not starting Iraq would have funded Social Security for about 2.5 years.

      1. I recall someone in a class I was in arguing that Bush didn’t ramp up the deficit since Iraq wasn’t included in government. She was a leftist mind you. Man the delusion required to pretend that Bush “cut” anything is astounding.

      2. “Iraq cost 2 trillion dollars so far. Social security paid out 808 billion dollars in 2013. By my count, not starting Iraq would have funded Social Security for about 2.5 years.”

        Yeah, I tried telling him that. Whenever I hit with something he can’t refute, he changes topics. He is easily the most infuriatingly stupid person I have ever known.

      3. “By my count, not starting Iraq would have funded Social Security for about 2.5 years.”

        It is easy to show, and proggies will swear it’s not true, that shutting down the DoD entirely won’t cover the borrowed money each year.

        1. That’s what boggles my mind. I am a huge air and space geek, a big military history buff, etc. You could shut down the whole military, sell everything from the USS Gerald Ford to the last can of 5.56 at auction, and it probably wouldn’t cover a year of the US budget.

          That’s a staggering amount of money.

    1. And she eats organic food. FEMALE DOUCHEBAG

  67. So who wants in on that plan to buy up blighted San Bernardino real estate and trigger the fault line to push the western part of the state into the Pacific?

    1. San Berdoo is on the wrong side of the fault

      1. The city proper is but the majority of the county isn’t. It’s actually larger than the 4 smallest states combined.

        1. I seem to remember it being larger than the 7 smallest states (individually).

    2. I do, if I get my own small beachfront town.

      1. Well, you can predict earthquakes. Anything on your mind right now?

        1. I predict CA will burn this summer.

          1. Eh. At this rate it may have all burnt out by the time we even hit summer.

          2. Burn, baby, Burn/derp

    3. Myth. Do you need a geology lecture?

      1. What? No way. Next thing you’ll tell me is that you can’t fly around the world really fast and make time reverse itself!

  68. This looks like what happened when you zoned an entire city as yellow in SimCity.

  69. Suder Man is either coked up or just a posh spaz.

    1. It can’t be both?

    2. posh? not sure what that means in context, but ‘spaz’ is just what peter’s nervous energy looks like.

      His shit-eating grin gets *scary*

      1. Means nothing in context, just liked the way it sounded. A term from Peep Show.

  70. Yes, you do. Just walk into the desert when it’s your time.

  71. lol Ducks.

    1. Beatings.

  72. Matt? see Rich’s tie?

    Now *that*+ the pink shirt, and your erstwhile Navy suit… WIN

  73. Texas hospitals come after Quebec nurses. The ones that go down love it from what I hear.

    1. Was that some kind of a double intender?

      1. Fucking misogynists – all of you.

        I wish I had a nurse go down on me.

        As long as she’s presentable.

    2. I know I love nurses that go down.

    3. If they are from Quebec then shouldn’t they be on strike at all times and taking bribes?

      1. Individual quebecers aren’t that bad, a lot of it is the environment.

        Also the ones choosing to try Texas (in spite of the stereotypes they’ve heard) are probably self-selected for reasonableness.

    1. I suggest she, and her fellow travellers to venture forth to Iraq where they can learn the difference first hand.

    2. Joyce Carol Oates: When you think about it, why does anyone read what she writes?

      1. I haven’t unless it was by a fly by link.

        She’s old, ugly and stupid.

        I have to admit I’m older (58) but not nearly as stupid as JCO. Fuck, I should write an insipid novel, never thought about that.

    3. Classy!

      makes you realize that this is the kind of shitbag comment people like this make at cocktail parties and everyone acts like they just said something smart and clever.

    4. Well I don’t consider suicide bombers to be intrinsically immoral. A Japanese kamikaze attempting to sink an American CV by crashing into it is not acting immorally.

      What makes any kind of bombing immoral is the target.

  74. The show is close to the end, and Kennedy has only interrupted once or twice, and there’s nothing about celebrities fighting in elevators.

    Who are these people, and what did they do to the hosts of the Independents?

  75. OT: Just flipped to Sons of Guns, and they have a rather large gun strapped to a tandem motorcycle.

    1. What’s a “tandem motorcycle”?

      1. I mean with a sidecar, wrong terminology. My mistake.

  76. I wonder if I should open a gay rock band karaoke club in Dallas.

    1. Call it the Lee Harvey Oswald.

    1. I like to imagine that whenever she is home alone Amanda Marcotte dresses up like a man and oppresses herself. And then sobs into a goblet of sangria before feeding her cats.

    2. Does this chick you guys keep linking to have any real influence or are you just infatuated by her stupidity?

      1. Influence among normals? No. Is she popular among feminist progs? Sadly.

      2. Her MO is mostly standard prog: find something stupid or offensive said by a member of Team Red or a Fox News host, gawk at it, emote at it, make sweeping condemnations of conservatives, fluff up the ego of your prog readers. Lather, rinse, repeat.

        But her attempts at making larger points about conservative culture are hilarious because she’s a lousy writer and has difficulty grasping logic.

        She perfectly encapsulates Haidt’s observation that progs have wildly inaccurate views of conservatives and libertarians.

        1. ^This.

    3. I think it says a lot more about people like Amanduh when they see these things and the first thing they think of is a penis.

  77. God, no wonder the kids next day are whiny shits. The mother threatened to cancel the young daughter’s birthday party because she was complaining, the daughter started crying, loudly and the mother managed to negotiate herself into not canceling the party AND apologizing for having suggested that she might.

    This is the down side of warm weather, their living room window and ours are directly across from each other. And their children are ginger terrors.

  78. I don’t know about you people, but I get seriously, badly depressed whenever I get inundated with these nauseating stories of municipal self-serving scumbaggery. Guy pays himself *millions*? in a town with a population of basically Zero? And people ARE NOT SCREAMING FOR BLOOD? And the people who provide ‘oversight’? are moronic scumbags themselves.

    And there are people out there who bust their asses all their lives and still have all their assets robbed by the state when they die.

    That’s what depresses me. People don’t just ‘get away with open thievery’ as government officials… its the fact that people shrug and it goes on and on and on. Its more painful than a balko nut-punch because the pain is long and deep and chronic..

    1. The only solution is to cut spending. Can’t have that.

    2. That’s the scam. There are no people to scream for blood.

      1. Exactly. Population: 100. Shitload of property tax dollars, thanks to all the large industrial property in the city. Plus, running your own power station doesn’t hurt, as long as you can sell it. Big fat pile of cash waiting for a criminal city council to take advantage, which they did. $541,000 a fucking year?

        1. The only way those guys made that much dough (they mentioned a base salary as high as $1.4m)? was if they also spread an equally large amount of cash around to ensure nobody fucked with their Good Thing.

          For 50 years. No one complains for 50 years. The mafia are amateurs.

          1. The audacity is awe-inspiring. Sounds like the only thing that tipped them off to the game was the outrageous pension payment to the city manager. I’ll bet he wins the court case to reinstate his pension.

    3. I know a CA Democrat who got involved in politics mostly to curb pension spiking, but he runs on a standard Proggy platform because he doesn’t feel like he’ll get anywhere in party politics if he’s too open about pension issues.

      1. You know it’s bad when you have to keep your intelligence in-the-closet.

        1. He’s a bit of a broken clock, but he’s 85% right on how he interprets the pension thing, and I doubled his campaign donations early on because of it.

          Muahaha.

          1. I doubled his campaign donations early on because of it.

            From $1 to $2?

            1. at least give me a few zeroes on that

              Oh, I’m also getting a ton of Progressive political emails now thanks to my donation, if anyone wants to view what they think about upcoming elections on the west side of LA.

              1. if anyone wants to view what they think about upcoming elections on the west side of LA.

                Ah, I can see it in my head already…

                Rick Santorum and Chris Christie dangerous libertarian anti-government extremists.

                Fred Phelp’s Republican activism.

                Mitt Romney’s fiendish plan to cut the minimum wage by 50% percent.

      2. You Know Which other Democrats from One party Democratic states would run on the standard Dem platform to rile up the base since they felt they couldn’t win otherwise?

        1. Hitler?

      3. My buddy is a pension fund analyst.

        The stories.

        Worse than a horror movie.

    4. Click on my Vernon link in the thread above…. Then do a search on “Bruce Malkenhorst”….

      1. Could not find what you referenced…

        …although the Vernon link (to your article “Vernon’s Mickey” |Feb. 29, 2008 10:06 am) has one of the best pwnages of Lonewacko I’ve ever read =

        https://reason.com/blog/2008/02…..ent_926572

        There’s also a guy there who claims to be a ‘resident’ of Vernon, and defends the place as “LA’s trash compactor” … or something.

      2. I found the LA Times piece on him by Jon Healy.

        It closed with a weak appeal that people like this are ‘bad apples’ that shouldn’t undermine our confidence in public service overall.

        sort of. apparently the belief that maybe pension negotiations aren’t done in the interest of the public is a pervasive ‘meme’ (a misuse of a misuse of that term, I think. Cheezburgers aint in it)

  79. The mother threatened to cancel the young daughter’s birthday party because she was complaining

    Children are like little terrorists. You never ever make a threat you’re not willing to back up.

  80. This story brings a smile to my face

  81. Hire that kid!

  82. This episode needs to be shared.

    1. This was a great one. No frantic spazoid Kennedy moments. Interesting problems, demonstrations of small-government solutions. +1 Independents FTW !

  83. The Bush administration attempted to privatize significant amounts of federal government service, but their execution sucked.

    1. The execution of the last several administrations has sucked because there hasn’t been one.

    2. You mean the Bushpigs tried to privatize Iraq.

      They gave it a good effort too.

  84. I thought Team Reality said this model is not realistic.

  85. What about the SEX TOYS? Who speaks for them? Not Kennedy.

    1. Maybe if she was working on a ventriloquist act?

    2. This is a doppleganger, the real Kennedy must be locked up somewhere…wait, she said buggery, maybe it’s the real Kennedy.

  86. A prog responds to Bastiat’s quote on socialism (confusing govt with society):

    Every society that ever existed and succeeded (until, you know, white people came and fucked it all up) was Socialist, as in, a society. Native Americans, to tribal Africans, to Australian Aboriginals, to pioneers and settlers even survived for hundreds of years because of socialism. If you killed a deer for your family and there was more than enough meat to go around, you would share it with your neighbors, and in turn your neighbors would share their crops with you, and everyone would share water from the same well that everyone helped to dig. This is how society worked for 95% of human history, up until white men decided that everything had to have a monetary value, and acquiring wealth and possessions were more important than everyone being healthy and happy.

    1. Maybe just point him towards a dictionary and have him look up the word “socialism” before proceeding?

      1. Sheldon Richman has a sad.

    2. the main drawback of modern society is that idiots survive.

      If this guy had been born on the American frontier, he would have been bear poo before his fifth birthday.

    3. pioneers and settlers

      Um weren’t these guys white men too? And I’m sure that the settlers who shared stuff were the ones who starved.

      And it’s not like those non-whites never engaged in brutal warfare against each other.

      He also ignored China, Japan and India. Racist!!!

    4. Words don’t have meaning.

      and

      White people are bad, mmm’kay.

    5. If you killed a deer for your family and there was more than enough meat to go around, you would share it with your neighbors, and in turn your neighbors would share their crops with you…

      Uh, you mean bartering/trade? THE HORROR!

    6. Is that prog white? ‘Cause there is nothing more pathetic and annoying than a self-hating white male prog.

      1. He’s Jewish and is fond of saying how this means he is most definitely not white.

        1. Jesse Jackson would disagree.

          1. I have dared him to go to the Nation of Islam mosque on Chicago’s south side. I’m sure he’d get a warm welcome.

            He’s probably never been south of Roosevelt on the Green Line.

    7. Socialism as a political ideology relies on coercion. The socialism he’s referring to is voluntary and is closer aligned to libertarianism.

      1. It maybe would be socialism if the settlers jointly owned the gun used to kill the deer, the wagon to transport it, etc. What he is doing is conflating socialism with the concept of generosity, which is, imo, a really fucking evil path that a lot of progs seem to use to justify their theft and murder.

      2. The idea that primitive societies simply shared things is naive. They shared things according to the dictates of the leader.

    8. The change you attribute to “white men” began when agriculture was discovered, something that happened multiple times around the world during the past 10,000 years. People of all races discovered agriculture.
      I do agree that hunger-gatherer cultures were governed by the ethic you describe. But that ethic discouraged economic effort and economic progress. In other words, that ethic encouraged moral hazard.
      It is wonderful if everyone can be healthy and happy. But that wonderfulness does not answer the question “how shall we pay for this health and happiness?” If everyone is entitled to health and happiness regardless of their economic contribution, than a great deal of economic effort will fade away, and we become an economy of few producers. In other words, a massively insolvent one.

      There are not enough pleasant jobs to go around. Most people lack the skills to be productive on a pleasant job. We mostly work because the alternative is living on 5K/year of govt. money, or on criminal activity.

  87. Fuck Volvo. That is all.

    1. Why? Volvo’s have great engines.

      1. Volvo’s are just so…blah. They are unexciting (and Swedish). If it’s any consolation, I would gladly own a boat with a Volvo-Penta marine engine.

        1. “Rev Match|5.16.14 @ 10:20PM|#

          They are unexciting (and Swedish)

          polite cough #1

          polite cough #2

          1. What a mess that Koen. is.

          2. I’ll be available with the aloe to treat their sunburns.

          3. I stand corrected.

  88. Peter snorted another line of coke during the break.

  89. Cont’d

    The problem with the “The state shouldn’t decide equality, or marriage, or education, etc” debate is this, IT DOES and it will continue to, and simply dismissing the concept of government controlling those things does not negate the fact that everyone is not treated equally under existing laws. Regardless of whether or not you agree with any specific law, do you not believe it should apply to everyone equally? Should drug laws apply more harshly to black teenagers than white teenagers? The fact that you don’t agree with the laws, does not eliminate the fact that black teenagers are treated much more harshly under the same laws.

    Ya hear that? Socialism was working just great until white people showed up.

    1. The problem with the “The state shouldn’t decide equality, or marriage, or education, etc” debate is this, IT DOES…

      I’m pretty sure that this was the major disconnect that recently caused me to lose another prog fb associate. They seem to think that because the state does something, it has the expressed power to do it, even when it does not.

    2. Ugh, this derp hit me hard. Obviously, we should make unjust bullshit apply to everyone, rather than getting rid of it altogether, because EQUALITEE.

    3. Regardless of whether or not you agree with any specific law, do you not believe it should apply to everyone equally? Should drug laws apply more harshly to black teenagers than white teenagers? The fact that you don’t agree with the laws, does not eliminate the fact that black teenagers are treated much more harshly under the same laws.

      What the fuck? Just what is this guy saying?

  90. GAH! Dobbs!! REAL DOBBS! HE GOT A HAIRCUT!!

  91. OK. Goddamnit you Peanuts – Real Time has Gov Brian Schweitzer on as guest tonight. If the Dems had any sense they would boot Hil-Dog to the curb and go with the ex Montana gov.

    IF….

  92. No matter what, LA wins. (Anaheim is pretty much LA)

    1. Anaheim is pretty much LA

      LA sports fans vehemently disagree. It has a bizarre habit of trying to imitate LA, however.

      1. half the Honda Center appears to be Kings fans.

        1. Same thing happens at Angel games when the Doyers come out.

      2. Whatever. You lose (presumably).

        1. Not all, I support the Kings and love the Dodgers. Nothing really against the Ducks but I dislike the Angels and find their recent ineptitude amusing. (No offense, Matt Welch)

          1. IN YOUR FAT FACE, OC BOY!!!! 5-0.

    2. Yes, but isn’t it like a Mets/Yankees, Jets/Giants type of thing?

      1. In LA, you can like whichever sports team you want without accusations of mental retardation. For example, Matt Welch likes the Angels.

  93. Here in redneck Georgia we have some sad-sack GOPers running for the open Senate wound.

    Really sad fucks too. Paul Broun is a fucking idiot. Jack Kingston is the only decent one of the five.

  94. “U.S. Will Spend $24.5M to Circumcise Men in Swaziland”

    http://cnsnews.com/news/articl…..-swaziland

    1. There IS something left to cut.

      1. There IS something left to cut.

        Damn it beat me to it.

      2. I see what you did there…

        …and I don’t approve.

    2. You Know Which other Democrats supported cutting the penises of black people?

    3. You know who else cut parts off of men in Africa?

      1. I’ve got to hand it to Leopold II for his efforts to get ahead in the Congo Free State.

        1. Why do my circumcision posts always attract such tasteless remarks?

          1. Do you expect taste from HnR?

            1. Especially about circumcision.

          2. Something something mohel.

            1. So which HnRer is Kramer?

  95. Could this be a follower of White Indian?

    I said existed and SUCCEEDED until white people came along and fucked it up. Did the Egyptians, Romans, Mayans, etc. succeed? No. They all collapsed under their own weight. However native and tribal societies succeeded for centuries right up until white Europeans came to throw bibles at them and systematically annihilate their people and culture.

    1. The last time I saw such profound historical ignorance was….well, ok yesterday when I read something a progtard wrote.

    2. What the fuck? This person is clinical.

    3. The progressive fixation on stasis might be the creepiest thing about them.

      1. Ironic that “progressives” are quite reactionary ain’t it?

        1. Reminds of Irish (I think?) posting about how prog ideology is a bunch of contradictory nonsense.

          This is pretty clear when you realize that early progs were big believers in modern industrial civilization and of white supremacy. After all if whites and their civilization are superior than of course it can produce TOP. MEN. that will create utopia.

          1. Reminds of Irish (I think?) posting about how prog ideology is a bunch of contradictory nonsense.

            I’ve brought this up multiple times. They don’t seem capable of viewing their arguments in conjunction with one another, so they don’t realize their various goals contradict.

            You can’t claim to care about poor people while wanting to institute massive gas taxes to protect the environment. Who gets fucked by those gas taxes? The very poor people progressives claim to care about.

            There are a million similar examples.

            1. Oh, I don’t know, I think the gas taxers are also people who think everyone outside their social circle needs to die for Earth to be healthy.

              Hell, they might even think that it’s better for poor people to be dead than live on an ‘unhealthy’ Earth.

      2. I don’t know, I find the sheer magnitude of this persons racism pretty creepy.

        1. We hates White People. He can’t be racist since whites have privilege and power.

          I mean it’s not like anyone ever has committed genocide against a group of people they thought had too many privileges and power.

    4. Genius has an interesting definition of of “Success”, when said Succeeders apparently were decimated/ imploded/ collapsed/ vanished when the first people outside their system showed up.

      Brilliant mind there, dude.

      1. Yeah, sort of what I thinking. If these tribal societies were so great, why did they get conquered?

        1. Human survival probably isn’t something this person values. Dead societies are better, because they’re dead.

        2. Not to mention the fact that his notions/facts/beliefs about ‘primitive’ societies is a complete and utter fantasy.

          If he either lived in any tribal society or did any legitimate anthropological research, he’d quickly discover that ‘tribal’ societies waged War on a far far far more frequent basis than any other in human history, and additionally ‘institutionalized’ atrocities of various kinds.

          The prevailing Prog narrative is that tribal societies were ‘corrupted’ when the west showed up with guns and they all started killing each other.

          These tribal societies just did with guns what they’d been doing nonstop for thousands of years prior. The Native American Indians, FWIW, killed more of each other than the White Man ever did.

          I think its also useful to note that the most significant ‘genocide’ in our living memory happened with ‘hand tools’

          http://www.nytimes.com/1994/05…..toria.html

          1. If he either lived in any tribal society or did any legitimate anthropological research, he’d quickly discover that ‘tribal’ societies waged War on a far far far more frequent basis than any other in human history, and additionally ‘institutionalized’ atrocities of various kinds.

            Yeah. In that War Geek article you posted earlier, he mentions that one reason Iraq was doomed to fail is that the only way to actually combat that kind of insurgency is basically genocide. He points out that that’s how the Romans held so much land. They just massacred anyone who stood in their way.

            The past was far more violent than is the present. We’re living in quite possibly the least violent period of time in the history of the human species thanks to the very civilization he’s complaining about.

            1. I think Gary didn’t go so far as say, “Genocide” but his point was that the Greeks wouldn’t so much as sneeze at the idea of simply killing every living soul in a town *that didn’t surrender and comply*

              It was simply how business was done. Fail to play along? Well, then the men die and women become slaves. Game, Set, Match.

              Genocide was ‘unnecessary’ in that form of warfare, because *no one would dare fuck around with people who did that*

              versus, the US fighting an insurgency…

              It just meant that the historical analogies were destined to be utterly superficial and stupid.

              I think he’d also go farther in pointing out that the Soviets, Nazis, Chinese, Viet Minh, Cambodians, etc. were far more like the Greeks than Americans = they stamped out insurgencies *the old fashioned way*

    5. I said existed and SUCCEEDED until white people came along and fucked it up. Did the Egyptians, Romans, Mayans, etc. succeed? No. They all collapsed under their own weight.

      He doesn’t seem to know what white people are.

      However native and tribal societies succeeded for centuries right up until white Europeans came to throw bibles at them and systematically annihilate their people and culture.

      This is hilarious. He mistakes the fact that tribes in some form have always existed for the idea that the same tribes have always existed. The tribes that now exist got where they are by annihilating the tribes who were there before them.

      Truly they are but noble savages uncorrupted by the evils of civilization.

    6. However native and tribal societies succeeded for centuries right up until white Europeans came

      Um, a little selection bias there, dude. The ones that existed when the Europeans arrived were merely the successors to countless long-gone tribal groups that failed.

  96. I’m sure Bettman is pretty happy right now. Chicago, NYC and LA in the Conference finals. Montreal is a big city but I think its attraction comes less in terms of ratings and more in the fact they’re the gold standard for pro hockey.

    1. It’s all about the big market advertising dollars.

      1. Yup.

    2. If Chicago beats LA, we’ll have an original 6 Cup Final.

  97. Tourism ads for Illinois show a miniature Abraham Lincoln eating a deep-dish pizza.

    If this story wasn’t real, I would have invented it, like Austria.

    http://www.bizjournals.com/chi…..cious.html

    1. I fucking knew it. That sumbitch is a deep dish man.

      Stonewall Jackson ate pizzas so thin you could see through them.

      1. One of his men gave him a deep dish by mistake and he was too preoccupied to notice. That was the end of the General.

    2. Do Illinoisians(sp?) even know that no one thinks Deep Dish pizza is actually a ‘Chicago thing’, but rather, like, ‘just a kind of pizza’?

  98. So we’re three weeks into #latelatenorm and the passion isn’t dying.
    Is it just a prank from Norm MacDonald, or could it be a thing?

        1. The Norm Show was actually good.

          1. It started out great, but it got fucked up by whatever it is they do to a lot of good shows.

            Still don’t believe Nahm would make a good talk show host.

    1. Why is Norm MacDonald still a thing? It was like 20 years ago. Isn’t he some old fogey comedian?

    2. Jeez, I can’t stand the guy. If I was at a movie where he came on screen I would be in the lobby demanding my money back.

      … Hobbit

  99. So between Rob Ford, Olivia Chow and John Tory who is the most preferable?

    1. Oh do I get to repost my iconic Rob Ford picture here?

      1. Thank you.

    2. Norm MacDonald.

  100. Weirdo or coolest mom ever?

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/…..s/9173239/

  101. “ISLAMABAD May 16 (Reuters) – A teenager walked into a Pakistani police station on Friday and shot dead a 65-year-old man from a minority sect accused of blasphemy, their spokesman said, the second murder involving the country’s controversial blasphemy laws in as many weeks.”

    http://www.trust.org/item/20140516152858-dm7z5

  102. Too many women are touched, grabbed and groped without consent

    1. I thought only the uptight didn’t want to get touched, grabbed or groped without consent.

    2. As a matter of fact, many of the incidents described seem creepy or criminal.

    3. What’s the target number?

      1. The headline does beg the question.

    4. How come I never get grabbed?

      All this grabbing wasted on those who don’t appreciate it…

      1. If you ride the subway in NY, I’m sure some dudes will grab you.

        1. Reminds me of a Letterman joke:

          “You can tell it’s fashion week in New York. While I was riding the subway today, someone tried to measure my inseam”

        2. Well, it’d be more than I’m getting now.

    5. My ass has been grabbed a fuckton without consent in clubs and bars. I’m about to go feminist on all these frisky bitches and file police reports on these fucking drunk nasty cunts… seriously.

  103. Ducks get one back.
    Hold on.

    1. Beat it.

    2. The tone of the game has certainly changed. The Ducks seem to be interested in offense now.

      1. #teemuforever

    1. Do the lyrics involve how great Healthcare, the CBC and Turdeau Sr. were?

      1. it’s an allegory.

    2. Saw April Wine live a few times. Fun band with lots of good sweet fermented songs.

    3. It sounds like they’re from *southern* Canada.

      Come to think of it, 99.9% of them live in the south of the country.

      1. We have no South. It’s a scientific fact. The ‘S’ on a compass here is merely cosmetic.

        1. Southern Ontario?

      2. oh do you want a northern band?

        1. Are they from Gjoa Haven?

          1. Close.
            Saskatoon.

      3. Windsor is south of Detroit!

      4. Sweet home Canada
        Where the snow is so white
        Sweet home Canada
        Maple syrup tastes so right

        In Toronto we loved the mayor
        He was always so high
        He was so very thirsty
        He drank Canada Dry

  104. So what new bands do people like? And how obscure do they have to be until they become sell outs?

    1. If they play on SNL they’re done.

    2. If I’ve heard of a band, they’ve probably been a sell-out for years.

      1. I won’t listen to any band that would have me as a listener.

  105. Ducks Goal.
    The gap narrows.

    1. You’re quackers if you think the Ducks are coming back from this.

      1. That’s a canard.

      2. like when the Leafs were up 5-2 on the Bruins?

        1. crap wrong game.
          but the point is made.

  106. Researchers attempt to determine the most sensitive and arousing parts of the female body

    Researchers found that for light touch, the neck was most sensitive, for pressure the clitoris and nipple were most sensitive, and for vibration the clitoris was the most sensitive part of the body.

    The results give an unprecedented glimpse into exactly how women become aroused.

    The team say their work could have implications for those undergoing breast augmentation and gender reassignment surgery.

    The Canadian team at the Universit? du Qu?bec ? Montr?al analysed thirty healthy women aged between 18 and 35 years old.
    They were were assessed on the perineum (clitoris, labia minora, vaginal, and anal margin), breast (lateral, areola, nipple), and control body locations (neck, forearm, abdomen).

    Researchers did not look at other areas such as sucking toes.
    The team asked the women to get undressed and lie on a table covered in a bed sheet.

    Participants were asked to wear goggles to blindfold them during testing.

    They then used scientific instruments to apply the various forms of touch.

    The researchers applied stimulation for 1.5 seconds, then waited for five seconds before asking the women if they felt it.

    Uh huh, sure. “Scientific instruments”.

    1. “No, no, you must keep the goggles on until I can put away the, um, scientific instrument I was touching you with. It would spoil everything if you saw it.”

    2. We waste our funding on bullshit like Global Warming. The Canucks have their shit together.

      1. mostly.

    3. Look at the comments to the article. They’re so anti-science!

      And these scientists have applied for a grant to do advanced research at the Gotta Tappa Kegga fraternity hou-I mean research centre.

      1. (note the Canadian spelling)

    4. Robert Anton Wilson wrote about this, but he thought he was writing erotic fiction –

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sex_Magicians

      Marx was right – history begins as porno, and repeats as social science.

    5. 30 is too small of a sample size.

  107. And they chanted “Teemu, Teemu, Teemu” as the team left the ice…

  108. You guys have parties when I’m not here, I swear. =(

    1. They’re called Canadian Research Studies.

    2. we wait to make sure you’re not here.

    3. Okay guys, pack it up. The party’s over.

      1. Your girlfriend always ruins it.

      2. The party will be ending before it begins when you’re sleeping on the mean streets of Tucson!

          1. Have fun waiting at the station!

            1. In the white room with black curtains?

    1. you made Cisco leave!

  109. Western Civilization: AD 500 – AD 2014

    1. I suppose you meant “RIP”.

      Who knows? Maybe their ‘trick’ is so awesome that it will introduce PhaseII of Western Civ = the era of the Cat Rulers.

      Why does it start in 500AD again? you don’t dig on Plato or something?

  110. Guys, guys! GUYS!

    I just realized who’s behind this whole Ukraine separatist thing!

    ELON MUSK!

    Think about it. He foments discontent inside Russia over both Ukraine’s debt and Russia’s history with the nation along with agitating pro-Russian seperatists inside Ukraine.

    Things blow up over there, Russia makes threatening noises about annexation, the US gov makes ineffectual statements that piss off the Russians.

    Russians pull away from the US, including removing support for the ISS. This has the secondary effect of removing the US’ heavy lift option.

    So, the Air Force starts screaming that they need *someone* to put stuff into orbit and here steps up Space-X – all ready to go if someone would just give them the certification (hint, hint).

    1. And why the feth are we back to the ‘post a comment and get sent up 50 comments’ era again?

    1. Nice. A tshirt would be fine though.

  111. I missed Suderman? Why didn’t someone tell me Suderman was on?

    1. Because we don’t hate you

  112. State and local govts are silently playing chicken with Congress. They are confident that Congress will bail out insolvent S&L DB pension plans, believing that if it does not, the voters will vote out the party in power.

    The pensions owed to police, fire, and schoolteachers, by Pritchard AL, a suburban slum of Mobile AL, have not been paid since September 2009. The affected people number probably less than 200, and are mostly AA. A TV documentary revealed that some retired teachers were given part time jobs. Nothing was said about how the other retirees are making out. The issue is apparently politically safe to ignore.

    The day will come when the President will announce to the nation that “we have no choice but to…” A law will be introduced guaranteeing S&L pension amounts up to $X/year. (A similar guarantee for corporate pensions sets X at 54K.) S&L govts will pay a tax to the Federal govt., based on the extent of underfunding of pensions. Payments to retirees in excess of these taxes will come out of general revenue.

    All S&L govt. employees should be moved to Social Security & Medicare, immediately, and their promised pensions should be revised downward accordingly.

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