Tonight on The Independents: Obamacare GIF-Fail, Airbnb Orgies, Vaccine Madness, Scene of the Crimea, Reddit Co-Founder Alexis Ohanian, Canadian LP Party Animal Tim Moen, Horrid St. Paddy's Day Footage, and Sexy Aftershow!

Did you see Kennedy's crazy interview with E! fashion/beauty hostess Kristin Cavallari last week? Here's a refresher course:

As apparently happens whenever a celebrity mom talks about the (non-existent) link between vaccines and autism, the interview attracted some notice: Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, NY Daily News, Us Magazine, Deadspin, Huffington Post, Salon, and so on. Well, as print subscribers already know, Reason's April edition includes an incisive cover-debate on the issue of mandatory vaccinations, and so we'll devote a block to the subject on tonight's episode of The Independents (Fox Business Network 9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT.)

Also on the show…THIS guy!

That would be Tim Moen, described by Nick Gillespie as "a Canadian who is apparently the first federal Libertarian Party candidate to run for Parliament from the Fort McMurray-Athabasca area in Alberta." Moen is also an "organizational leadership consultant, storyteller, appreciative inquirer, dad, husband, anarchist, firefighter/paramedic," so he's got that going for him.

Also on the show is Reddit co-founder, serial entrepreneur, and irritatingly successful Millennial Alex Ohanian (or should I say O'Hanian, amirite?), author of the new book Without Their Permission: How the 21st Century Will Be Made, Not Managed. Speaking of Irishmen, Kennedy went out to the mean streets of midtown Manhattan for the St. Patrick's Day Parade, and the results may just make you re-think your stance on legalizing alcohol.

The Party Panel, composed of Rich Benjamin (Demos senior fellow) and Paul Mecurio (Wall Street lawyer-turned comedian) will discuss the latest excruciatingly awful White House Obamacare propaganda, and the latest irredentism on Russia's Western flank. Keepin' it Kmele is back, with gruesome tales of Airbnb orgies gone horribly wrong. The sexy aftershow will be live-streamed on the website, and please send your tweets out to @IndependentsFBN; some may be used on air.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Did you see Kennedy's crazy interview with E! fashion/beauty hostess Kristin Cavallari last week?

See it? It took three days for the vag I developed watching that thing to turn back to a penis.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

"Did you see Kennedy's crazy interview with E! fashion/beauty hostess Kristin Cavallari last week?"

I saw it but you can't make me remember it.

Crazy. Sounds about right.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Books. She read it in books.

[Episiarch]

Didn't she say she couldn't remember which ones?

I swear the less strident ones are almost worse than the Jenny McCarthy types. "Yeah, I read about it and didn't really give it much thought and decided to do it. You know, without much thought. Even though it involved potentially life-threatening diseases for my child and other children."

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

ThinkProgress: The Obamas are all our parents now

Barack and Michelle Obama are parents to two adolescent girls, and they admit openly that their roles as a father and a mother shape much of the way they talk about their legislative priorities. In a society that typically doesn't require male public figures to emphasize their relationship with their kids, it can be refreshing to observe the president in this context. "I see President Obama as uniquely forthright in how central fatherhood and his identity as a father are to his role as president," MSNBC's Melissa Harris-Perry pointed out in an interview with ThinkProgress last week. "Although all our presidents have been fathers, I'm not sure we have had another president in the modern era for whom this identity is so obviously central."

[snip]

When it comes to Obamacare, gently reminding kids about why it's important to eat your vegetables can be easier than delving into the policy of health reform. Will this rhetoric actually work on young people? Only time will tell. The number of young enrollees is inching up. But Americans might end up tuning out the president's nagging ? just like they tune out their own parents.

[Episiarch]

I think this article says a lot more about what the author looks for in politicians than it does about anything else. I love it when they accidentally admit what they truly are and want. Now if only they could see that we don't fucking want it too.

[Max Power]

It makes them seem pretty pathetic. You'd think it would be embarrassing to admit that you'd like the government to tell you what to do like it was your nagging mother.

[Episiarch]

You'd think it would, but there is a lot that comes out of TEAM BLUE's mouth that you would think would be embrrassing, yet somehow to them it's not. It's almost like they're relieved that they can finally admit it.

"I can finally admit that being an adult scares the shit out of me and that I just want an authority figure to take care of me and tell me what to do! Before, this was considered embarrassing, but now I feel like I can speak out!"

[Zeb]

James Buchanan didn't have any children.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

'Although all our presidents have been fathers, I'm not sure we have had another president in the modern era for whom this identity is so obviously central.'

1) Madison, Polk, and Buchanan had no children you ignorant, lisping troglodyte.

2) FDR and many other (mostly bad) Presidents emphasized their fatherhood when addressing the nation on policy. For that matter, outside the US the fatherhood motif is very popular among dictators and tyrants.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

When it comes to Obamacare, gently reminding kids about why it's important to eat your vegetables can be easier than delving into the policy of health reform.

So is drooling all over yourself like a retard. Yet, only one of these responses is appropriate when addressing adults.

As Epi said, this article is more revealing as to the author's prejudices than anything else.

[Dweebston]

This isn't parental nagging. This is your estranged parents insisting you fork over money out of your much smaller paychecks for something you don't especially want or need, with the threat of charging you even more next April if you tune them out. That she sees this as a costless concession from recalcitrant children really affirms how desperately out of touch the liberal elite is.

[Virginian]

Yeah remember after 1994's elections one of news anchors said "the country just had a temper tantrum".

[Irish]

"When you think about it, aren't we all Chairman Mao's Obama's children?!?!"

[Rufus J. Firefly]

/repeated face palms.

[Warrren]

Indie Pedants Assemble!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Okay, listen up. This isn't the place for you dipshits to air your dirty laundry or chitchat or gossip. This is the place where we tweet the show or whatever you call it and then get the hell out. Until the show starts go flap your gums elsewhere.

[Warrren]

flap flap flap

[Heroic Mulatto]

I have a third nipple.

[Warrren]

fap fap fap

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I have three balls.

[Scarecrow Repair]

pawn'ed

[Homple]

I liked that.

[Warrren]

But only enough to give him 20 cents on the dollar, right?

[Warrren]

I'm spent.

[montana mike]

If anyone is interested in getting into a March Madness pool I started one at Yahoo sports. The name is reasonoids and the password is FYTW. Had fun with the bowl game pic em so thought a few folks might be into this.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I may take you on that.

[Raven Nation]

MM: Yahoo sports is saying they need a group ID # not the group name.

[Matrix]

OT:
Girlfriend calls 9-1-1 for medical assistance for her unconscious boyfriend
EMS show up and treat him on the spot. Cops show up later. EMS want to take him to the hospital, but the boyfriend refuses to go. Cops try to force him to. Girlfriend tells them to leave. They cuff her and beat the shit out of the boyfriend and taze him. Lovely.

Is it not trespassing if they do not leave immediately after being told to? So we have trespassing and assault and battery, as well as false arrest. Anything else? But shit. Doubt they'll ever be charged. And even if they are, it'll never go to court.

Oh, and the wonderful officers are also just randomly stopping by the apartment complex now. Gotta keep that fear in these peasants.

[Warrren]

They're going to Tulpa the shit out of that complex.

[Max Power]

I just saw this on facebook yesterday. Apparently this guy is a former coworkers friend.

[Matrix]

Guess that'll learn him to RESPECT AUTHORITAH!

[Max Power]

This same guy (my former coworker) had a post about a year ago boasting about how he called the cops on a neighbor because he thought they were doing drugs. I guess he only likes the cops when they're roughing up people he doesn't like.

[Warrren]

I'm so independent that I just put Pepsi in a Coke glass.

[Matrix]

You... blasphemer!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

12 Years a Jedi: Oscar winner Lupia Nyong'o in talks to for female lead in new Star Wars movie

Oscar-winner Lupita Nyong'o has had talks with JJ Abrams over a role in forthcoming Star Wars revival Episode VII, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Nyong'o, who picked up the best supporting actress prize for her feature film debut in harrowing race drama 12 Years a Slave earlier this month, is said to be in the running for the part of the female lead. The 31-year-old Mexican-Kenyan actor's meeting with Abrams took place prior to the Oscars, at which Steve McQueen's film also took home best film and best adapted screenplay.

Five actors were last week reported to be in the running for a young male lead role in Episode VII. Downton Abbey's Ed Speleers, Attack the Block's John Boyega and Breaking Bad's Jesse Plemons, as well as stage specialists Matthew James Thomas and Ray Fisher, are said to be up for the part of a young Jedi apprentice who will take on Adam Driver's previously announced "Darth Vader-like" villain.

She makes sense, but some of these other casting suggestions confuse me.

[Episiarch]

Abrams is going to confuse you when it comes to Star Wars in more ways than you can possibly imagine, young Seriouswalker.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

"Luke, use the Vulcan neck pinch."

"Chewie lay in a course to the Arrakis system, warp 5."

[Bobarian]

Engage.

[Warrren]

I aim to misbehave.

[Riven]

Guess you'll be going to the special Hell, then.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

You're all clear Picard, now let's blow this thing negotiate a peaceful resolution and go home!

[Episiarch]

You guys are all way off. He's patterning the new Star Wars after Dr. Who.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I know almost nothing about Doctor Who (except to always spell out 'Doctor', thanks kibby), so I can't make any jokes about that.

[Warrren]

I wonder how many Dr. Hus are Doctor Who fans.

[Snark Plissken]

DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT JAN HUS!!!

[Cdr Lytton]

Why not? Steven Moffat is the limey Brannon Braga. They should just give that franchise over to Abrams so he can burn it to the ground as well, proving that he's the SF antichrist.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Just wait until you find out The Force is actually Purgatory.

[Byte Me]

"Darth Vader-like" villain.

Knowing how Abrams does his reboot villains (*cough*KHAN*cough*), it'll probably be Vader.

[Cytotoxic]

how Abrams does his reboot villains

Better than the original.

[Tejicano]

"gruesome tales of Airbnb orgies gone horribly wrong. "

Hhmm... maybe I should give that recruiting ad for Airbnb's local operations manager position another look.

[Bobarian]

Why is this part of Kmele's segment.

Is he an expert/aficionado of the BBW?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Can't I organize at least one orgy of fat-assed, bubble-butted Black women without some doofus standup comic bitching about it?

I'm sick of this shit.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Is it racist to say you're too old for this s__t?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Not if you're Danny Glover.

[Warrren]

Scuzzy shitpile Kevin Trudeau gets 10 years for aggravated douchbaggery.

[Big Chief]

It's about time punishment was meted out for that awful Doonesbury cartoon, but 10 years seems insufficient.

[Warrren]

He's old, the stress will kill him.

[kibby]

Hooray for having internet again! You guys had entirely too much fun without me on Friday, maybe I should just keep quiet & watch the insanity unfold.

[Episiarch]

kibby, kibby, kibby. You could have just pretended to have a life and that you were out Friday evening. Now you've gone and ruined that.

[kibby]

I am one hundred percent okay with the old maid personality I have finely crafted for Hit & Run.

[Irish]

Yeah, I'm sure you just created this personality.

'I'll tell them I finely crafted my old maid persona so that they don't realize how lonely I am.' -Goes back to knitting a quilt of all her cats-

[Warrren]

Out of cat hair...

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

While watching reruns of 'Murder, She Wrote'.

[Warrren]

While wrapped in doilies? That's what old women wear, right?

[kibby]

Look, you little rapscallion, I see you on these threads, too -- don't act like we're so different. *eats a pint of chocolate ice cream whilst crying*

[seguin]

Ah, "whilst." A clear indicator of anti-social personality.

[Max Power]

Cosmotarian Cocktail Call!

I have an old fashioned.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Teetotaling it today with actual tea. (al-Wazah green tea)

[Warrren]

Is that some sort of terrorist brand?

[Heroic Mulatto]

If by "terrorist" you mean "the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam", then yeah.

[RannedPall]

If you have one then fucking pass it around you stiff! Social contract, motherfucker!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Rum and Coke.

[Lord at War]

Happy birthday FdA!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

thx

[SweatingGin]

Out of Campari. Not enough bourbon for one Manhattan.

Gin and Tonic it is!

[The Late P Brooks]

"I see President Obama as uniquely forthright in how central fatherhood and his identity as a father are to his role as president," MSNBC's Melissa Harris-Perry pointed out in an interview with ThinkProgress last week.

I think this is true. I do not believe he considers the citizens of this nation in any way his equals.

Fuck him and the power-worshipping dumb cunts who adore him.

[Warrren]

That's a lot of cunts. You'll need a bigger cock.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Who are these retarded idiots who fawn over this guy?

[RannedPall]

Usually there's a sticker on their car or something of that nature to identify them, that way when the Mandate Gestapo show up they'll pass right on by cars marked with the blood of the rich.

[Warrren]

A friend of my daughter's once said "I so love that man!" She's not even voting age and she's in the cult.

She was recently caught lying about a medical condition. That has nothing to do with Obama, of course but it goes to her character.

[Cosmo Joe]

I'll take it one better:

I want gay married couples to defend their marijuana plants with guns against Somali immigrant criminals.

Cosmotarianism forever!

[Max Power]

I want gay married couples to defend their marijuana plants with guns against Somali immigrant criminals

right after bottomless mimosa brunch!

[RannedPall]

Or after bottomless Somalis in my mimosas

[Teller Maidan]

The thing about the "Billion Dollar Bracket" is that the most statistically likely possibility(if you trust that the NCAA picked the ranks fairly), is for there to be no upsets. If you were actually betting money on it, that's what you picked, but what if hat really does happen, and hundreds of people picked it for just that reason? Then you probably won't get your money.

[PapayaSF]

This is hilarious: http://tumblr-argument-generator.lokaltog.net/

[RannedPall]

What? Not gonna talk about the SoCal earthquake that's gotten no air time on any news outlet anywhere? Fucking east coast elites, don't come bitching to us when you want help building one of them fancy high speed train car rail thingies.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Unless there is some Nevada oceanfront property for sale, no one cares.

[RannedPall]

Yeah, just what Vegas needs, MORE scantily clad whores who can't walk in their heels.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!

[Heroic Mulatto]

This is how I imagine said Independents assemble.

Especially Gilmore.

[Max Power]

That was strangely compelling. I watched the whole thing.

[GILMORE]

"Heroic Mulatto|3.17.14 @ 8:52PM|#

This is how I imagine said Independents assemble.

Especially Gilmore.

If that link isn't to the opening Waltz from Swan Lake, then I am insulted.

[RannedPall]

Ha! Nothing like a bunch of browns making a video on crypwalking. Tookie Williams is most likely rolling over in his San Quentin mass grave.

[GILMORE]

Actually, that was awesome, and I want to learn the crip walk now.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Not tonight. My mask won't fit.

[The Late P Brooks]

"I see President Obama as uniquely forthright in how central fatherhood and his identity as a father are to his role as president," MSNBC's Melissa Harris-Perry pointed out in an interview with ThinkProgress last week.

That's what she said.

[The Late P Brooks]

ERROR ERROR

ANALYYYYZE

[Irish]

5 Things Women Need To Do In Their 20's or the Suffragists Died for Nothing!

It's hilarious because I'm almost positive it's brilliant satire.

Don't get me wrong, women are still oppressed to a monumental degree. The patriarchy is still an omnipresent overlord, endorsing cultural structures that keep women from realizing their full potential and contribute to a harrowing loss of self-esteem, especially to women who don't fit into society's straightjacket-like norms of what a woman should be like.

This is in an article about what women NEED to do. First sign this is awesome satire.

Your twenties are all about you. You know that barista with the bristly mustache at your local coffee joint, the one with the squinty eyes and creative tattoos that just make you tingle and forget all about your pretty frappuccino, have a tumble in the haystack with him. You know that drug dealer with the shaved head and the facial piercings, the guy with the forearms that make you melt and who might have been to jail more times than Paula Deen has uttered a racist slur, do him too. And I musn't forget the six foot three football playing frat guy that you see making love to a beer bong every weekend, he might not be an algebra wiz, but he doesn't need math to know the right angle to thrust at.

[Irish]

Women's studies gives you invaluable tools to have in life and makes you feel so empowered that nothing can stop you, not only your future career in whatever prestigious field you may choose, but also in your daily life. I last used the rich arsenal of feminist weapons that Women's studies gave to me this morning to call out a disgusting male Mcdonalds employee. I was feeling peckish so I ordered three happy meals, the order was placed on two trays, and even though I was on the phone, that loser thought it was OK to talk to me. Rape apologist. He asked me if I wanted help carrying the trays to my kids. I quickly put the call on hold and gave him a lesson in not practicing fat-shaming and sexism anywhere in my presence, and nowhere else for that matter. I got him to check his privilege and I felt a warm glow of satisfaction spreading through my body as I sat down, drenched my fries in Ketchup and went to town on my first burger.

In case you have been under a rock since, like, 2005, you know that Tumblr is the most important website of our generation. It is such a vibrant place filled with all the right kind of people. There are so many social justice blogs that it would take a million and a half years to read them all, but that's okay, reading them all would probably make you literally *trigger warning* explode with joy.

[RannedPall]

Sounds like something from returnofkings.com, some of the contributors there write some excellent satire.

[Lady Bertrum]

Definitely satire.

The best part was after insisting on multiple occasion that women are strong and independent she goes on to explain why and how you need to get men to pay for your stuff (drinks, vacations, birth control and abortions).

[Lord at War]

The only thing she missed was- after talking about all the "hook-ups" in the first two items- she missed that a "Womens Studies" major would allow one to cry "rape" afterwards.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I'm going for the satire theory. From the same site

[The Immaculate Trouser]

There is no chance this isn't satire.

No one can possibly be this deluded... right?

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I notice Reason's native Pravda contingent has had little to say about the Crimean referendum and continued Russian saber-rattling. Can't we get some half-hearted insistence that the referendum was legitimate, or maybe some sniping about the AmeriKKKan empire?

Anyways, should be interesting to see if Europe gets its defense organized for something beyond overthrowing N African regimes.

[Warrren]

I haven't been able to drum up even a half-dram of fucks about that entire situation save for a worry about the whole thing going from spark to fire to full on conflagration. Resulting in yet another European hate-orgy. But the specifics don't much matter to me.

[Bam!]

Place your bets: Will Kennedy be wearing shamrock earrings.

[Bam!]

Green, but not shamrocks.

[GILMORE]

ooh. That's good.

I'm thinking Matt will have a clay pipe and keep complaining about kids taking his lucky charms.

[Episiarch]

No hoops? What the hell, Kennedy?

[Fist of Etiquette]

I see Kennedy's mic.

[kibby]

Matt, that tie. NO.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Kmele O'Foster.

[Episiarch]

Oh look, someone named "Kennedy" is wearing all green on St. Patrick's Day. At least Kmele took the principled stance and wore anti-Irish clothing.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

They should have worn potato sack clothing to be really Irish.

[Episiarch]

They're not drunk or loud enough.

[Warrren]

So he's not one of the Black Irish then?

[BiMonSciFiCon]

On air earring zing. Someone's been reading the comments.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

It's a live show, so I got half of my wish. They look pretty sober, so the other wish didn't come true.

[Bam!]

Kennedy has a bit more energy than usual, so that's something.

[Heroic Mulatto]

She does the vitamin IV thing.

[Warrren]

Vitamin four?

[Byte Me]

Four Loko

[Fist of Etiquette]

Did he say "a different racket"?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Obama's going to make you marry that duck.

[Bobarian]

That duck is no virgin.

Or so I heard.

[Max Power]

Then why is it wearing white????

[Fist of Etiquette]

If my eyes can break a hymen...

[Episiarch]

One of the greatest features of Obamacare's ongoing dismal failure is the B-List celebrities they drag in front of the camera to give completely unenthusiastic and ultra-square exhortations to sign up. If there isn't a better signal that you're a has-been or a functional nobody, I don't know what is.

[Max Power]

Those gifs have totally changed my mind. This whole limited government thing just isn't for me anymore.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

BIG LOLCAT IS WATCHING YOU

[Episiarch]

I thought it was ceiling cat who was watching you masturbate.

[kibby]

No, it's all cats. They're freaks.

[SweatingGin]

Kennedy mad, yo. Enjoyable opening rant.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

It was pretty good.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yes, Kennedy, condescend hard as you can to Benjamin.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Wow. Kennedy is more polite with this guy than the other one last week.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I have a job, but the gifs make me want to quit and sign up for Obamacare.

[Bam!]

ObamaCare has become a dot-com company: They can't translate those eyeballs into consumers.

[SweatingGin]

Sell it to facebook for a billion or so?

[jesse.in.mb]

"YOLO" enrages me. I almost punched a woman who punctuated her sentences with it in a restaurant.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Then she used it correctly.

[kibby]

Try explaining to idiot sorority girls why it is NOT the modern day carpe diem.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Jesus Christ, people actually argue that a lazy acronym is the equivalent of knowing Latin phrases?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Bitches don't know about metempsychosis.

[Heroic Mulatto]

You should have punched her, because YOLO.

[Big Chief]

**Golf Clap**

[4th attempt to post this]

[Heroic Mulatto]

I appreciate your diligence.

[Cytotoxic]

YOLO is my trigger phrase.

[Tejicano]

I wouldn't mind so much if they would quickly transition to YODO. Darwin awards can be so entertaining.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I wouldn't mind so much if they would quickly transition to YODO

Hey. Enough of the Hindu- and Buddhophobe talk.

[Tejicano]

Nichiren here (but not Sokkagakai) so not likely.

Besides you have to possess a soul to be re-encarnated and most of the types using "YOLO" don't show much evidence of that.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Besides you have to possess a soul to be re-encarnated and most of the types using "YOLO" don't show much evidence of that.

Heh! Hungry ghosts, maybe?

[SweatingGin]

I tried four times to post a joke about YOLO as a safe word.

[jesse.in.mb]

No. I almost kicked a guy in the head for saying YOLO during sex. He wouldn't have said it normally, but when he found out it annoyed me he couldn't help himself.

[Episiarch]

Rich Benjamin, genius at sniffing out "disinformation".

[Max Power]

Rich Benjamin sounds like a rapper's name.

[kibby]

Disinformation? You mean the stuff that Obama says & then backtracks on three months later? I don't even know what the hell about this ridiculous law is in place & what has been repealed at his whim at this point.

[Episiarch]

It's impressive how Benjamin can say that shit with a (semi) straight face. Maybe he's just a paid shill; I could at least understand that.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I blame the disinformation on the website, which totally lies when it lists the prices of the plans. Those expensive plans are racist.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Lebron shills for Obamacare because it covers men's hair restoration.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Nothing in life is 95%?

Citation please, Matt.

[Byte Me]

Well, the US Federal Government does not exactly have the best track record on recognizing sovereignty.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Way to not change your ubiquitous red and blue video wallpaper to green on St. Pat's, Fox Biz.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

'I read too many books on autism' has to go down as one of the all-time great retard lines on Reason.

[Derpetologist]

So I found this documentary about communist Romania. The spend about 20 min talking about the ban on abortion, contraception, and mandatory pregnacy checks for all fertile women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjbYhVDwd6k

Then I began wondering about the last time I ever heard a lefty criticize any of that.

[Fist of Etiquette]

This rant seem autistical.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Did the posting system go down for anyone else?

[Bam!]

Yes.

[Bobarian]

Si!

[Homple]

Then the posting system is sluttier than I thought.

[Derpetologist]

Yes. Hi, NSA! Just a bunch of perfectly law-abiding people here!

[jesse.in.mb]

Has it come back then?
TEEESSSSSTING!

[kibby]

Aye.

[Warrren]

Yup.

[Derpetologist]

The greatest invention in medicine falls by the wayside because of a few quacks and their half-baked ideas.

? Dies derp?! Dies illa
Solvet s?clum in favilla:
Teste Tony cum Rol-Tulpa!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Anyone else having problems with comments not posting?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Yes.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Squirrels have attacked my computer.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Not wearing green, the Black Irish bastard.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Did Kennedy coin that condom analogy?

[Bobarian]

That was no analogy, she was being literal.

[The Late P Brooks]

Apparently, a film hagiography of noted freedom fighter Cesar Chavez is coming soon to a theater near me.

I can hardly wait.

[GILMORE]

The Independents Attire Review, 17 March 2014

?irinn go Bla?h - Edition:

- Kennedy: Winner of the "Irish name we all love to hate"-award, K-K mocks the meat I feed on by appearing as some kind of Celtic Pond-Sprite. I feel a strange impulse to strip my clothes off, chug Tullamore Dew and do a jigg from Riverdance while slathering myself with Irish Spring.

- Welch: Winner of the "Irish name least likely to pay his gambling debts" award, Mattie goes that extra-yard in absolute reverse, performing some kind of fashion equivilent of a broken-play-fumble & safety all at once by Insulting the Entire Irish Race and his own birthright by wearing the same goddamn pink shirt he wears every night, albeit with a fungus-colored tie that manages to set a new bar for "inappropriate color matching". I am tempted to try and say "Mxyztplk" backwards just to see if Matt will implode and return to the 5th Dimension.

- Kmele: Winner of the "The Thin Lizzy Singer Was Irish, So Anything's Possible"-award, Kmele simply illuminates Matt's failures by providing a perfect foil to Kennedy's Spirit-of-the-Holiday Enemble in *completely not giving a shit at all* - and just being his well-dressed self without so much as a dash of token-green. As usual i find myself cursing the cameramen for not giving viewers more quality Kmele-time; today he gives a masterclass in How To Wear Shades of Blue. Miles Davis would be proud.

Damn you all to hell, I'm getting drunk now.

[Max Power]

I was waiting for your take on Matt's shirt/tie combo and I was not disappointed.

[kibby]

I went back & read your fantastic Caesar puns from Friday & came up with a good one for you to use next Ides of March, assuming there is still a show.

"Kai SUIT teknon?"

& Matt's tie is absolutely gosh awful tonight, agreed.

[Heroic Mulatto]

It looks like pea soup.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Oh, and there was a time you could have posted in Greek, as well as Chinese.

That was before Mary.

[kibby]

That's okay, because I can never remember the stupid accents.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Accents? Back in the Victorian England they called that "Girls' Greek".

[kibby]

Did they not use rough breathings, either? ANIMALS!

[Heroic Mulatto]

If I remember what I learned from this correctly the Victorian Classicists of Oxbridge just pronounced Attic Greek like it was English.

[Warrren]

Matt will implode and return to the 5th Dimension.

Are they still touring?

[GILMORE]

I realize now I missed some further opportunities for Othello references here; this may have to be a running motif for future reviews. You have been warned.

[GILMORE]

For those unfamiliar with the Mxyzptlk reference, note the similarities with Matt's taste in color-coding=

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wooQ.....yzptlk.png

[Episiarch]

I'm so glad the site goes down during The Independents. That's going to help.

[jesse.in.mb]

Keep the field clear for you to catch up to GILMORE in hate?

[Episiarch]

Well, my schedule is changing within a few days, and I will almost assuredly not be able to participate in this any more, so I welcome GILMORE to it.

[kibby]

I must be a glutton for punishment, because this knowledge makes me a little sad.

[Episiarch]

That's nice of you to say, kibby, and it makes me a little sad too.

[kibby]

So I'm pretty sure this exchange broke the space-time continuum & caused the website issues a few minutes ago.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

You can always wade into the PM links Kibby. If you feel ready for it.

[kibby]

That sounds like a panic-inducing prospect. I read them, but don't think I could keep up!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

For me it's just a matter of reading stuff earlier in the day and then remembering to link them later.

And engaging in the most inane and bizarre subthreads. I maintain that the PM Links are the best thing to happen to Hit & Run in the 5 years I've been posting here.

[kibby]

It is spring break. Maybe I'll go crazy...

[Tejicano]

If you do go look me up when you get there.

[jesse.in.mb]

Ah yes, I'm sure those grapes are sour said the fox.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Feinstein takes the phrase "all politics is local" to the wrong conclusion. Nothing is outrageous until it actually happens to her.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Drones?

Not under Ed Markey's watch.

[Byte Me]

Jesus Christ, Reason. Did you guys get the nutcases that built healthcare.gov to build this sh!t site?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Byte, just as an FYI, I had answered you about Venice in the last TI thread.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's nice to know DiFi takes time to notice protests.

[Episiarch]

I can't really add anything to what Kennedy said about Feinstein.

[Derpetologist]

I used to wonder what happened to the women from Death Becomes Her. I think DiFi is one of them.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Cruz borrowed Montalban's fake chest.

[Episiarch]

The day the site goes down is the day Kmele and Kennedy totally bust Matt's balls. Tag-team.

[Fist of Etiquette]

This wouldn't happen if he was an Ewok.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Welch is a serial renter.

[Bam!]

Never apologize for awesomeness, Kennedy.

[Bobarian]

Sasquatch-y? A STEVE SMITH reference?

[SweatingGin]

I really expected them to fake an earthquake / camera shaking worthy of ST:TOS

[Fist of Etiquette]

"They made fun of me for teaching duck and cover, but who's laughing now?"

[jesse.in.mb]

This was an insanely boring earthquake.

It depends on the desk, Kmele. If you have real furniture yes, if you've got something made of pressboard, it's just more crap for them to dig you out of.

[BigT]

Public service fact:

Don't dive under the desk, dive next to it. The triangle formed by the caved in desk is the safer spot.

[Warrren]

Suuuure it is! I bet you work fr Big Grave!

[Longtorso, Johnny]

The Vladimir Putin Butt Plug Is Now an Uncomfortable Reality

[Fist of Etiquette]

I keep seeing this show Manufacturing Marbles but I've yet to see marble one.

[Byte Me]

OT: Good parody of the weather this winter.

http://www.wmzq.com/onair/aly-.....1481237582

[Fist of Etiquette]

That's one blandly handsome Canadian, eh.

[jesse.in.mb]

Indeed

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Meh.

I'm cuter.

[SweatingGin]

and blander!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Actually.

Olive skinned.

[kibby]

But his accent! *swoons*

I think watching entirely too much Due South has influenced my taste in men in a bizarre fashion.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

No, Kennedy. Canada is still wed to socialism.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

Fort McMurray is important because Chris Phillips and Scottie Upshall live there.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Why do we overplay 'freedom' in Canada.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Let me rework that question. Why do Americans overplay freedom in Canada?

[Lord at War]

We haven't had multiple reports here at Reason of Mounties entering your houses and shooting your pet mooses?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

That's true.

But that's because we're further along the socialist lifestyle.

[The Laconic Marc F Cheney]

Testing.

[Fist of Etiquette]

His message won't catch on in the United States until he learns to pronounce "out".

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Shit. Now we gotta listen to Canucks on Teh Independents.

There goes the neighborhood, eh?

He said oot and aboot...

[SweatingGin]

Take off hozer!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

We're everywhere, Frankie.

Every. Where.

[The Laconic Marc F Cheney]

WTF is going on here? I haven't been able to post shit today.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

You're not alone. Been hard for me too.

[Warrren]

*snicker*

[Big Chief]

And the camera catched a secret touch between Kennedy and Matt?? What was that about?

[Fist of Etiquette]

They were making fun of Foster. And he totally caught them, too.

[GILMORE]

She was struggling not to lick the Canadians face

[GILMORE]

Canadian =

Hot. Kmele still owns the dress game, but dude should be set loose on some Jezebels and see how fast he flips them into libersluts.

[Warrren]

Jezebels should be a unit of measurement.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Is it safe?

[Episiarch]

A drymouth commercial? Do they know I'm watching when I'm stoned?

[Bobarian]

they've finally figured out the right demographic to advertise to.

[Riven]

Helps that you always are...

[The Bearded Hobbit]

You know that you guys are up against Robert Duvall, right?

... Hobbit

[GILMORE]

KENNEDY JUST BREATHED "haawwwwwt"!?!

[Derpetologist]

Step 1: Sell medicine that causes dry mouth.

Step 2: Sell medicines that treats dry mouth.

Step 3: Profit.

[SweatingGin]

I can't take much more of this.

[Bam!]

A camera on the street is an idiot magnet. And there are those people behind Kennedy.

[kibby]

This segment is exactly why I avoid people at all costs.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Let them have White Kwanzaa; it's all they have.

[jesse.in.mb]

You can hunt them. With your cats...

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ax Murderer quote.

[All-Seeing Monocle]

I feel like these are Kennedy's real people.

[Episiarch]

As someone who lived on the Upper Side, which is the end point of all the retarded drunken pub crawls on St. Patrick's Day in Manhattan, it is even more annoying than what you just saw. It was my most hated day of the year.

[Episiarch]

Whoops, that was supposed to be "Upper EAST Side".

[Fist of Etiquette]

No erin go homo, bragh.

[GILMORE]

NEW FUCKING JERSEY!!

[Max Power]

That was just like my neighborhood on Saturday.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Those minors were still getting high off of your vibes, Kennedy.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

What are you looking at?

[Bam!]

A town gone mad.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Look at me! I'm the prime minister of Ireland!

[Derpetologist]

I want to invent a device that conceals a sodium cyanide spray gun inside a fake TV camera.

[kibby]

...I may be interested in being an investor.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Bearded Hobbit just got a shout out from Kennedy. Jealous.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

The future is in good hands.

Even 'Delta House' had some talent.

[GILMORE]

That guy has a goddamn battery up his ass

[Bobarian]

They have a Passover parade in NYC? Who knew?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Actually, yes.

[Episiarch]

Is Rich Benjamin retarded...I mean does he have an extra chromosome...I mean "developmentally disabled"?

[Heroic Mulatto]

He is 3/4 Alien Lizard Person from Sirius B.

[Episiarch]

No, I'm pretty sure he's retarded. I mean "special".

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What stereotype?

[GILMORE]

And when the fuck did Ezra Klein develop a sense of humor?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Punched in the groin... BY KENNEDY.

[Bobarian]

On your bucket list?

[jesse.in.mb]

It is now!

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Gothic Asshole.

[Derpetologist]

Worfrin is a real medicine? Does it wrinkle your forehead and fill you with warrior spirit?

[jesse.in.mb]

Warfarin (also known as Coumadin) is a potent blood thinner.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I think it kills you where you stand.

[Derpetologist]

+1 qapla

[Warrren]

Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy.

[Warrren]

Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy.

[Warrren]

Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy.

[Warrren]

Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy.

[Warrren]

Not only did it quadruple post it signed me up for OsamaCare.

[GILMORE]

The Puerto Rican day parade is the worst thing in new York on like 3 different levels.

Statistically = it involves like 1/5 as many people, and (*unbelievable but true) more crimes are actually committed.

I credit that to most of the cops being sober AND racist on that day.

[Episiarch]

Maybe if you live on 5th Avenue, but if you live on the (non-5th) Upper East Side, St. Patrick's Day is far and beyond the worst, because all the pub crawls end up there. I can't tell you how many times I came out of the subway and went "why is there green puke", and then realized OH MY GOD IT'S MICK DAY and had to rush home and barricade the windows and doors and sit in the dark with a shotgun. While drinking, of course.

It was seriously the most annoying event I've ever experienced in any city ever. Worse than Hempfest here in Seattle.

[GILMORE]

Dude, we've talked about this. I was 88&3rd;. I lived it for 4 years. My area was worse than yours, bud. York? The drunks don't wander that far. That said = PR day was still worse.

[Derpetologist]

Did they snap while dancing around menacingly?

[Byte Me]

I can't wait for another Common Communist Core commercial.

New Slogan:
"Common Core: Most of the questions are indecipherable & are not really questions!"

PROGRESS.

[Derpetologist]

Samuel L Jackson must have a lot gambling debts to pay.

[Derpetologist]

Samuel L Jackson must have a lot gambling debts to pay.

[GILMORE]

+1 for the lesser-played Ramones "I don't wanna go down to the basement"

[SIV]

Lesser played if you only listen to The Ramones on television commercials and sports broadcasts.

[GILMORE]

Duh

[Francisco d'Anconia]

agreed

[Fist of Etiquette]

AH! Lou Dobbs.

[Byte Me]

We are 32% more entertaining when you're drinking.

True story, bro.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Wait, so those Craigslist ads for BBW orgies I se-, hear about are for real?

[BiMonSciFiCon]

How do I get to the live show? The link above isn't working.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

nevermind, got it- http://video.foxbusiness.com/v.....show-clips

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Nevermind, got it- http://video.foxbusiness.com/v.....show-clips

[GILMORE]

Trivia question =

- Where does the "oh my god" sample come from in that same-named TCQ song, who is it, and what lyrics follows that?

(and Hint - its a quasi trick question)

you have until 10:15

[GILMORE]

Abort = I was wrong

[Bam!]

Why do they have Dixie cups?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Danny Boy sung by Muppets:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU

Never Gonna Give you up (lame metal version)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntu-poC2FOI

[Fist of Etiquette]

Jack Reacher is on, yet I'm watching the after show. That's how important it is.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

I'm not. Mel Brooks is hosting an entire category of clues on Jeopardy!

[Heroic Mulatto]

White Wolf's Aeon Trinity predicted a Balkanized Internet more than 15 years ago, buddy.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Why does Reason keep going down on me? It's not like I bought it a nice dinner and a diamond.

[Bobarian]

Reason is a cheap date.

[kibby]

Good gosh, you are dating the wrong kinds of women if that's what it takes.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

No, of course not. Usually just a fun date and/or alcohol.

[jesse.in.mb]

How efforty.

[Warrren]

It's just this thread. The one above it about the censorious scientist shitbag works fine.

[Sevo]

Nope. It's on them all.

[Sevo]

Nope. That one's dead now, too.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I worry about all surveyance?

[Warrren]

I see that.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Fuck that. Corporations don't have guns. The only power is government power.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Genocide brings things to a screeching halt on the after show.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Matt, kill the squirrels.

[GILMORE]

I just want to add that this attempt to limit Independents Hate via some pernicious comment-system-disabling *will not stand*

It Will Not Stand, Man!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyLdtG7KZvw

[Big Chief]

Are the problems tonight because of NSA surveillance, a drunk intern, or retribution because of the 1000+ post Independents thread on Friday?

[Warrren]

Yes.

[GILMORE]

Also, you forgot to blame the Irish.

[Big Chief]

I thought that was implicit in the drunken intern part of it.

[Tejicano]

Maybe squirrelz R Irish?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Irish squirrels.

Little drunken bastards.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

http://geek-news.mtv.com//wp-c.....echaun.jpg