Official Government Report: Americans Really Love Pizza. Especially White Teenage Boys.

Americans eat an awful lot of pizza, according to a February report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture on pizza consumption from 2007–2010.
The findings can be summarized thusly: On a given day, about 13 percent of Americans eat pizza. Especially teenage boys. And white people. And kids, at lunch. Pizza has a lot of calories. And sodium.
The report doesn't offer any thoughts about whether this is a good thing. That may be because the U.S. government's official position is that people should eat more pizza—and also less pizza.
As I've noted before, the Agriculture Department subsidizes Dairy Management, an industry group which promotes cheese consumption in all its glorious forms, but especially in the form of Domino's. While the report doesn't say so, I'd be willing to bet the discrepancy between adults—who eat pizza for dinner—and kids—who are much more likely to eat it at lunch—is explained by the federal school lunch program. (Friday is pizza day, y'all!) It also subsidies the Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion, which frowns on eating pizza for lunch all the damn time and recently relegated dairy to a peripheral position in the food pyramid/plate/pentagon/whatever.
In fairness, this is just one of approximately 1 bazillion reports that the USDA churns out about the American diet. It's not like someone went out of their way to do a special pizza study; as a matter of course taxpayers foot the bill for lots of these semi-pointless data dumps that poorly duplicate the efforts of private market research.
The real crime here is this missed pie chart opportunity in the report:

A bar graph about pizza? Really?
The February USDA report also ends with a helpful definition, which clears up any confusion about what counts as an authentic pie:
Pizza: Includes all food codes defined by the What We Eat in America Food Categories (6) as 'pizza' (4- digit category number = 3602).
And this oddly ominous entry:
Pizza consumer: Any individual who reported pizza, in any amount, at least once on the intake day.
Pizza: If you see something, say something.
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Well, I'm not teenaged, but I'm white and male, and I had a Mellow Mushroom cheese pizza just last night. I wanted the Kosmic Karma, but my wife wanted cheese, so screw it, I had cheese.
I should note that my not-teenaged white wife ate some, as did my teenaged white son and my teenaged white daughter.
What do I win?
A bag of Tipo Fino 00.
Woo-hoo!
No reflection on your wife, but I came here to gripe about my nephew who when he orders 'extra cheese' with a goofy look on his face makes me wonder how he is not a product of incest. He also took the liberty of building a giant snowman in my fucking yard. I said it was okay to build one for the kid, but I definitely didn't have in mind the tacky abomination he made.
I wanted the Kosmic Karma, but my wife wanted cheese, so screw it, I had we compromised on cheese.
Indeed. She offered to get another separate pizza for me, but I'd rather not bother if it's just me.
I wanted the Kosmic Karma
Funny, I don't see any meat on that pizza.
It's one without meat, yes. I like meat pizzas, too, but this one is tasty.
A coupon for tastebud replacement therapy?
Mellow Mushroom's sauce is sickly sweet.
My wife and I skew the statistics a bit. 51 and 59 y/o, we make pizza 5 times a week minimum.
First they took the marijuana - I did not smoke it so I said nothing. Then they came for the Foie Gras - I did not eat it so I said nothing. Then they came for the beer - I did not drink it so I said nothing. Then they came for my pizza and there was no one to speak for me...
You deserved it for not being a beer drinker.
And for being a pizza eater.
Nothing left to cut!
Alternate joke (cribbed from James Taranto): What would we do without experts?
Not a single goddamn penny! We're cutting bone here people! Pizza bones! fun fact - That's what I called the uneaten crusts when I would eat at pizza buffets.
It's a good thing those awful, draconian sequester cuts were reversed so that the government can get back to the really important work, like this.
How many of them actually ate deep-dish instead of pizza?
*Pulls sword from Lou Malnatti's scabbard*
You say a word about stuffed pizza, and I shall have satisfaction, sirrah!
And what about those who ate dairy-paste covered cardboard squares?
Well, I hope they didn't count that crap they serve in Chicago, because that shit ain't pizza.
In other news, a new study finds that a disturbing number of teenage boys were raised in sewers and carry dangerous martial arts weapons.
Also, I want me one of them cheeseburger crust pizzas.
My 43 year old husband ate pizza last week. I, a 31 year old female, only ate chicken wings as I am trying to stay low carb to dump about 15 pounds of baby weight. I don't know why I even bother trying considering I am just going to be preggos again in a month or two.
Haven't seen him around of late. Did he change his handle?
No, he's really busy working a job that he hates. The little extra time he has for the internet is spent trolling Huffpo.
The little extra time he has for the internet is spent trolling Huffpo.
That's more fun than hanging out with us? I... I don't know what to say.
I, a 31 year old female, only ate chicken wings as I am trying to stay low carb to dump about 15 pounds of baby weight.
Ever tried "Pizza in a bucket"? That's what a pizza place in TX called it anyway. I make what amounts to pizza in a casserole dish, except without crust. I like it better.
That sounds fantastic. I only like really greasy thin crust New York style pizza anyways. If the crust is too doughy (which seems to be the vast majority of pizza out West) I only eat the cheese and toppings and toss the rest to my dogs.
An Italian New Yorker restauranteur moved here in the mid seventies, created New York Pizza which does just that style to a sharp edged perfection.
http://newyorkpizza.2926.attra.....e_id=47535
How much of this is just public schools serving "pizza" at lunch every day? I had "pizza" 180 days a year for about 8 years of my young life simply because it was the least worst option.
I assume this is the deal.
We were lucky in Tampa, because we got Cuban sandwiches one day a week. So pizza, Cubans, sometimes arroz con sorta-pollo, and a salad option. Not that it didn't suck, but on a lesser level.
I ate fast food most of my junior and senior years, anyway, with KFC, BK, and Arby's being in walking distance.
I've spent the last four years eating more pizza than should be humanly possible. Hopefully that's done for a little while.
In college I ate so many hot dogs I didn't look at one for a solid decade.
PB&J, which I determined to be about the most balanced (under the old high carb guidelines) you could get. IIRC, each one had about 300 calories. For about 6 months at one point, I would estimate that four days out of seven my entire nutrition came from PB&J.
I've recently switched back to these for lunches on my two nine hour days. Hated them as a kid & think they're pretty grand now. (Probably because everybody put wayyyy too much jam on mine when I was little!)
Pizza has a lot of calories. And sodium.
"Put simply, the possibility has been raised that if we were to eat as little salt as the U.S.D.A. and the C.D.C. recommend, we'd be harming rather than helping ourselves." http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06.....d=all&_r=0
A bar graph about pizza? Really?
Yeah, a bar graph should be about drinking!