Government Money Funds, Fights New Ubercheesy Domino's Pizza

Time was, the idea that government was messing with citizens' cheese consumption was comical enough to inspire indignant ideological songwriting.

These days, there is a quasi-governmental entity with a fat budget focused exclusively on encouraging cheese and milk consumption. Brilliant government-funded minds were behind the "Got Milk?" campaign and the promotion of the idea that cheese helps you lose weight. The greasy details were chronicled in this weekend's New York Times:

Dairy Management, whose annual budget approaches $140 million, is largely financed by a government-mandated fee on the dairy industry. But it also receives several million dollars a year from the Agriculture Department, which appoints some of its board members, approves its marketing campaigns and major contracts and periodically reports to Congress on its work....

Dairy Management’s longtime chief executive, Thomas P. Gallagher, received $633,475 in compensation in 2008, with first-class travel privileges, according to federal tax filings. Annual compensation for two other officials top $300,000 each.

The same government agency also spends a decent amount of your hard earned money telling people not to eat cheese, and to avoid the very milkfat that Dairy Management is constantly trying to thing of creative ways to dispose of.

The [Agriculture] department’s Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion, which promotes healthy diets, has a total budget of $6.5 million.

Dairy Management has been especially active in promoting Domino's new, cheesier line of pizzas, spending $12 million of federally-supplied or extorted money to sell Domino's disgusting/delicious pizza.

This isn't some wacky one time accident where the left hand momentarily lost track of what the right hand was stuffing into the mouth. Just to take one recently-blogged example, remember that whole story about how the government was warning people not to eat fatty meat while shipping fatty meat directly to the gullets of the poor? And there's the always popular subsidize-corn-syrup/tax-soda-for-creating-obesity-related-health-costs duo. These stories are easy to come by, and while the Times has done an admirable job tracking down all the details on the cheesedoggle (coming soon from Kraft!), there's enough of this stuff out there to provide an A1 story like this every day of the week.

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  • The Gobbler||

    Crap on a crust! Now with 40% more cheese!

  • Almanian||

    there's enough of this stuff out there to provide an A1 story like this every day of the week.

    Then I damned well want a story like this every day over the next week.


  • Joe Stalin||

    These Americans are so advanced. In my day, we just had men like these digging holes in Siberia and then filling them up.

  • Correction, Comrade||

    We just had men like these digging holes in Siberia, jumping in, and then filling them up.

  • ||

    Why do these bureaucracies always have such lame names? I would hate Dairy Management LESS if they had a cool name, like... the Federal Bureau of Milk, Cheese, Whey, and Pizza.

  • Matt||

    Wanting pizza and wanting Dominos are two completely different sensations.

    I went to visit my girlfriend in Seattle and that's all they had. No non-chain pizza places. How she lived all those years eating that crap I'll never know.

  • ||

    Chain pizza can be very good, if you find the right brand. There's a Da Vinci's next a few blocks from where I used to live that made delicious brick-oven pizza. I didn't realize it was a chain until someone told me.

  • Jeffersonian||

    I'm partial to Elicia's, myself.

  • ||

    It was inevitable that the pizza elitists would show up eventually.

  • Chicago||

    Elite deep dish pizza is the best thing to come from me!

  • ||

    Tutta Bella (there's one in the same building as the Westlake Whole Foods) is pretty good, and Pagliacci's is...edible...maybe. But the Tutta Bella is much better.

  • Pip||

    Coal-fired is the only way to go.

  • Paul||

    Or Piecora's. Or how about Talarico's? Awesome pizza. I highly recommend a slice of the Frank Sinatra.

    Wait staff is piping hot, too.

    Jeebus, if this guy couldn't find good pizza in Seattle, he either wasn't looking outside of his girlfriend's Lynnwood apartment parking lot, or he's one of those myopic I-only-eat-deep-dish types.

  • Spoonman.||

    It's not that hard to make your own pizza if you have a food processor for the dough.

  • Slut Bunwalla||

    Eh, Domino's is okay. Especially since they changed their recipe. Obviously it's not the best around but for the price and everything it's not bad.

  • Paul||

    ?I went to visit my girlfriend in Seattle and that's all they had. No non-chain pizza places. How she lived all those years eating that crap I'll never know.

    What the fuck? Oh, by "Seattle" you meant "Federal Way". Now your statement makes sense.

  • ||

    Giordano's is rather tasty.

  • Sam||

    The Seattle area has Zeek's, which is excellent.

  • ||

    What's the verdict on the "new" Dominos? I got one a couple months back because they were giving out coupons for a free pizza. I say it's an improvement over the old pizza and corrugated cardboard, which were chemically identical. But still only worth zero money.

  • ||

    Not hard to improve on shit in a box.

  • CorporateDrone||

    I found it to be 'edible' which was a huge step up from before, where I had categorized it as 'yuck'.

  • Slut Bunwalla||

    I think it's pretty good. For fast food chain pizza.

  • Rhywun||

    Funny thing is, Domino's was much better than the local chains we had in growing up in Rochester - unless you like dry, fluffy crust and sickly sweet sauce. I have much better choices now in NYC, but even still, I think you could do a lot worse than Domino's. Haven't tried the new "formula".

  • Rhywun||

    OTOH, it's useful to know that the reason the stuff is so damn cheap is because I'm subsidizing it... WTF?

  • ||

    I always tell my wife to get the cardboardiest pizza in the market. People think I'm crazy, but if I'm going to eat shitty pizza, it better be real cheap and tasteless. Here in the DC area, maybe the Italian Store in Arlington, has decent pizza. Two Amys is OK. But the bottom line is, a slice in a pizzeria on almost any corner of Manhattan is better. And I am not from NYC, and since I will eat Chef Boyardee, clearly not a pizza snob.

  • ||

    What's your problem with Hot Pockets?

  • ||

    I would imagine that the extra cheese is really just to offset the recurring bouts of torrential shitting Domino's pizza* usually triggers.

    *Despite truth-in-advertising laws that should force Domino's to call what it brings to your house by the more accurate name: "Red corn-syrup drenched breadoid slab with gelatinous oil-based topping ("meat" optional)"

  • Domino Ad Guy||

    Send us a picture of your problem, so we can learn and get better.

    Unless you're Bryce from Minnesota, that is. We know that smashed pizza was a fraud and we're none too happy with you.

  • Slut Bunwalla||


  • Hobie Hanson||

    The government doesn't subsidize corn syrup, it subsidizes corn. Are you going to say government subsidizes strip clubs because it controls the water system that delivers the water strippers use to clean their vaginas?

  • ||


  • ||

    The government also massively raises the price of corn syrup's competitor, sugar, to more than twice the world price.

    Unlike the other cases where delusional organic farming boy was complaining in the other thread, here we have some clear evidence-- everywhere else in the world, Coke, Pepsi, etc. use real sugar, not HFCS. I'm having some real sugar Dr. Pepper in Edinburgh right now.

    This is unlike factory farming, which happens even in totally unsubsidized countries, and sped up in New Zealand after eliminating subsidies.

  • Paul||

    This. No, government doesn't give subsidies to corn syrup makers, they just pervert the living shit out of the market with price floors on real sugar.

  • Paul||

    Lobbying and campaign contributions
    ADM's lobbying and campaign contributions have encouraged the continuation of the United States federal sugar program (of trade barriers and price supports) by Congress, costing US consumers roughly $3 billion a year.[13] ADM also lobbied to create and perpetuate federal ethanol subsidies. Some commentators have concluded that the ADM experience demonstrates the need for campaign finance reform.[13]

    Nothing to see here, move along... just the world's largest corn syrup supplier putting money in the right places.

  • Paul||

    Some commentators have concluded that the ADM experience demonstrates the need for campaign finance reform.[13]

    I love that. Some[who?]. I should go in and change the Wiki page to read:

    "Some commentators have concluded that the ADM experience demonstrates the need to eliminate subsidies and market distortion from government interference."

  • ||

    Brilliant government-funded minds were behind the "Got Milk?" campaign

    That's the one with all the celebrity babes who have "milk" on their lips? Pretty good, for government work.

  • Domino Ad Guy||

    Why is milk in scare quotes?

  • CorporateDrone||

    those aren't scare quotes; they are used to denote the fact that "stunt milk" was used in the photos.

    ok, now those were scare quotes.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Because some prudish, Victorian women don't like "milk" on their lips.

  • Pip||

    I was going with a chick that said she's do absolutely anything but anal and facials. And I'm like, well what else is there?

  • CorporateDrone||

    you got her number?

  • BakedPenguin||

    Anonymous Coward: like this?

  • Paul||

    Better alt-text: Obama's view of a complex economy.

  • Jordan||

    The entity that brought us the Food Pyramid is the last one on Earth that should be lecturing about obesity.

  • Triumph||


  • Kevin Raffay||

    $12 million here and $12 million there, and pretty soon you are talking about billions of taxpayer dollars wasted on subsidies like this.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Time was, the idea that government was messing with citizens' cheese consumption was comical enough to inspire indignant ideological songwriting.

    I know this thread is dead, but I have to mention it was also name-checked in this punk classic, which is rather apropos today.

  • ||

    Or what if meta studies showed that saturated fat really wasn't bad for you?
    CONCLUSIONS: A meta-analysis of prospective epidemiologic studies showed that there is no significant evidence for concluding that dietary saturated fat is associated with an increased risk of CHD or CVD.

  • ||

    Hello all, Brad from Domino's here. 100% of these dollars come from America's Dairy Farmers through our partnership with Dairy Management, Inc. -- not the U.S. government or taxpayer money. U.S. Dairy Farmers use their money and resources to partner with us in promoting cheese…an initiative we have in common within this partnership – one that we are very proud of.

  • mark||

    Listen here Brad. We don't take kindly around here to corporations that receive government money and try to pretend it's a "voluntary" arrangement with some innocent farmers. You're serving up bullshit, and we're not interested.

  • ||

    Hey,DMI has issued a release setting the record straight on its relationship to the USDA, and how the majority of the reports – including the NY Times -- have completely misreported the facts. Read it here.

  • Nike Dunk High||



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