From the Vault: Final Countdown to Government Shutdown! (2011)

Last time a big government shutdown was in the news, Reason TV released the video above now. Watch it all the way through for a quick summary of what will close and what will stay open if and when the government shuts down.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Illusion, reason. A trick is something a whore does for money.

[sarcasmic]

If I live the rest of my life without ever again hearing that song I will die a happy man.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Respect the 80s.

[sarcasmic]

There is plenty to respect from the 80s. Keyboard driven hair ballads are not on the list.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Hair ballads WERE the 80s!

And I'm secure enough in my sexuality to say:

I liked them.

There, I said it. And I'm not ashamed. And, and I liked A Flock of Seagulls, and, and Duran Duran, and even the Bangles.

So there!

[Kaptious Kristen]

Men who at the very least pretended to like Duran Duran were probably getting way more tail than anyone else in the mid-80's. Like my boss, who quit football in favor of ballet, and just smiled slyly when the jocks made fun of him.

[John]

Where my wife and I Ice Skate, I see the groups of high school age figure skaters hanging out. The girls all have smoking hot bodies and spend their lives constantly flirting with the boys totally unaware and naive to the fact that the boys are all obviously gay. They always have these puzzled looks on their faces as to why the boys never seem interested.

Yeah, if I had life to do over again, I would have been a straight dancer or figure skater.

[anon]

Not only that, girls that do ballet are really flexible.

I did not know the benefits of this until I dated one.

[Warty]

A male cheerleader at one of the big football or basketball schools has to do almost as well.

[Kaptious Kristen]

Don't forget non-essentials whose agencies are forward-funded: open

[flye]

"Non-essential" is apparently hurting feelings:

...being called nonessential is a bit like being branded with a scarlet letter "N."

...

John Palguta, vice president for policy of the Partnership for Public Service, said the issue arose at a professional development conference that the nonprofit group held Tuesday for federal human resources professionals. The Partnership has a content-sharing relationship with the Washington Post.

"They are offended at people who suggest that what they're doing need not be done," he said. "None of them consider the work they do extraneous and not essential. Federal employees are very sensitive to being the brunt of criticisms of government."

[Kaptious Kristen]

Just like "liberal leave" was offensive to Bush-era conservatives, so now it's called "unscheduled leave".

[anon]

"They are offended at people who suggest that what they're doing need not be done,"

Oh my god, how dare you suggest that federal employees are for the most part lazy, ignorant and incompetent assholes that add nothing of value to society!

If only I could say that to that smug asshole's face.

[SugarFree]

Federal employees are very sensitive to being the brunt of criticisms of government.

Boo-fucking-hoo.

[John]

I am not.

[#]

Why the hell are you a Federal Employee John?

Based on hom much you post here, it would'n seem you don't actually do much.

[#]

No offense or anything, but if you aren't a moron and you have some level of ambition, you'd think you'd not want to be stick in the federal machine.

[John]

My job occasionally interesting. Ambition for what? Go be a stick in some corporate bureaucracy that is just as bad and doesn't offer a retirement? Go be a solo practitioner and be happier but a lot poorer? Work for a big firm whose business model is dying?

[#]

I'm just asking John, honestly. You obviously aren't the usual Fed employee who thinks they are doing God's work.

I wouldn't be able to stand working in an agency. Corporate red tape is annoying enough. But at least you can tell yourself in the end you might be producing something of value.

[John]

That is why I couldn't work for HHS or EPA or something. The work I do relates to shit that at least has to be done or is me restraining my government clients from doing stupid shit.

[anon]

Uh, shouldn't you know that federal employees do about jack shit by now?

[#]

I get that, but is John one of those people who likes being a bum living off the public?

[John]

I like having a job and a paycheck. The day a better situation arises outside of government I will take it. In the mean time I didn't create this mess. And I don't owe anyone some kind of duty to take advantage of it if the situation arises.

If you feel too principled to accept a nice check to work for the government, good for you. Meanwhile, I will take the cash.

[#]

To each his own then. Just asking.

[JW]

I just learned that D.C. is shorthand for "Dogs and Cats living together."

[Warty]

Confession: I only played the video so I could hear the song.

[kinnath]

ditto

[sarcasmic]

Masochists. But I already knew that.

[kinnath]

I only listened for a couple of bars until I figure out what it was. It's your fault.

[John]

You are a bigger monster than we thought.

[Warty]

DUH-NUH NUH NUH
NUH-NUN NUH-DUN DUH

Now try to get it out of your head, prick.

[Cascadian Ephor Xenocles]

Why would I want to?

[John]

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[John]

Did you know Bernie Kosar's daughter is a porn star?

http://www.sportsgrid.com/nfl/.....s-parents/

[anon]

Crazy bitch at that...

"Want a man to come pummel my ass today. Interested?"

"wow!!! Some men r such pigs! I wish sometimes that I was a lesbian so i wouldn't have to put up with their shit."

Fuck woman, make up your mind.

[Warty]

Of course I did. There are some magnificent comments there.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Bernie Kosar, Father Of Porn Actress, Feels 'Embarrassed' For The Parents Of The Rams' Wide Receivers

So, Bernie, you'd be embarrassed if your son dropped a pass while playing in the National Football League? That's incredibly ironic, considering your own daughter's line of work appears to be getting penises dropped into her. On film, though, so it's classy and stuff.

So is the author implying that, like the wide receivers (funny name), Bernie's daughter is bad at her job?

I see little diff between a pro football player and a porn actress. So they must be speaking of actual job performance. Right?

[anon]

But can you blame the actress for being in a bad porno? I thought the director was to blame for that.

[Warty]

As far as I'm aware, she only did one hardcore scene, and she did a fine job in it. Nothing Linaresesque or anything, but extremely adequate. It's a shame about her stupid tats, though.

[Killazontherun]

As we all know, a father's only job is to keep their daughters off the pole.

And fuck Chris Tucker for that, too. Strippers don't have a lock on social maladjustment.

[Killazontherun]

As I mentioned in another thread, have not been able to get it out of my head for the past two weeks, and this never happens with a song stuck up in there for a long time, I'm still enjoying it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwOOxEHUDjo

[Warty]

Yep, that's enjoyable. Now I wanna do some drugs.

[Killazontherun]

Me too. Miss 'em like a long lost friend.

[Warty]

Are you into Monster Magnet? The tracks they've released off their new record are also very druggic.

[Killazontherun]

Didn't know those tracks were out, thanks! Some nice cranked 'verb on the lead guitar there, too.

[BakedPenguin]

I hope you brought enough to share with the whole class.

[John]

Has there ever been more people freaking out on drugs and doing strange and really uncool shit in one place ever?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt0ipUCfdlU

You shouldn't laugh, but you kind do.

[Warty]

Why was there a dog onstage while that guy was getting murdered by Hell's Angels? That's what I wanna know.

[John]

The whole Give Me Shelter Movie is on Youtube. Watch it sometime. It is a perfect time capsule of all the retarded craziness of the 1960s counter culture. There is this one stoned out and very unattractive naked chick that I swear is seen walking through scenes all day and finally tries to climb on stage during the Stones show.

[Killazontherun]

The proto-Mila Kunis at around 7:15. Damn. If I were one of the musicians, I'd tell the roadies, 'either you get her back stage after the show, or you're fired.'

[John]

The little brunette with the cigarette? She not only looks cute, I bet she was one hell of a good time.

[Neoliberal Kochtopus]

My "favorite" urban legend is that the vocals on Gimmie Shelter made Merry Clayton miscarry. I always tell that one at get-togethers because so few people have heard it.

[John]

The biggest urban legend is that the Hells Angels stabbed the guy during Sympathy for the Devil. It was actually during Under My Thumb.

[John]

Little known fact, The Geico Caveman was actually in the Angels.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nxwmmSMdfU

[Hillary's Clitdong]

WE'RE HEADING FOR VENUS
AND STILL WE STAND TALL
CAUSE MAYBE THEY'VE SEEN US
AND WELCOME US ALL

[Winston]

Funny that I was called a Team Red lackey when Matt Welch is the one regurgitating the traditional statist Republican BS that Reason has attacked all the time. Welch wants the GOP to cave until they take the senate. Problem is Obama will be still be President in 2015 and the Dems will filibuster and the GOP will risk losing political capital in 2016. However if say a Republican wins in 2016 then repealing OC will potentially threaten 2018 and in turn 2020, etc.

Not to mention when did Reason support increased spending? that is the only way to avoid a government shutdown.

[anon]

Uh, what are you talking about?

[Warty]

Fuck off, scum.

[Winston]

???

I'm not the one bemoaning how the shutdown is bad. Aren't you a FYCS guy?

[SugarFree]

You must support the GOP in all things, Warty. Otherwise you are just another cosmotarian.

[Warty]

Fuck you, camp somewhere.

[SugarFree]

Camp? THEY SHUT DOWN OUR NATIONAL PARKS!!!1!

[Warty]

FUCK YOU, CARRY SUITCASES

[Winston]

Where did I say any of that? I was bashing Welch for talking like an Establishment Republican.

[Calidissident]

From the article Welch wrote, it sounds like he's definitely in favor of cutting spending as a condition of raising the debt ceiling, and I think he also said he supports the one year delay as well.

[Winston]

He didn't support or favor anything. He just said those were things the GOP could have done.

[darius404]

I know I always suggest people do things I'm not in favor of.

[Winston]

Also hasn't Obama said he wouldn't accept any conditions on raising the debt ceiling?

[Neoliberal Kochtopus]

D- on coherence. F on content.

See Warty after class.

[Bardas Phocas]

Gov Shutdown: Women and Minorities hardest hit.
http://www.realclearpolitics.c.....women.html

[anon]

Obviously Obama's racist.

[John]

I want a shut down for no other reason that in makes these people angry.

[Warty]

As soon as the shutdown's over, you'll get back pay for your vacation, right?

[Warty]

'Cause, I mean, that's a way awesomer reason. For you, not for me. Looter scum.

[John]

That is what they did in 1995. But I am not sure this time. I hope I don't to be honest. I want to hear the whining and butt hurt more than I want the cash.

[Winston]

http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/u.....-1.1870936

Passports, other services could be on hold

Parks and museums could be shuttered

Debt-ceiling crisis also looming

What a crisis man.

Oh lots of derp in the comments

[XM]

"Schools : open"

Damn