Rand Paul

Matt Welch and Radley Balko Discuss Rand Paul and GOP Libertarianism


This morning I appeared on HuffPost Live to talk about Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky), his appearance this week at Howard University, and whether the Republican Party should go more libertarian. Included in our big panel was beloved former Reasoner Radley Balko and anarchist pal Kmele Foster. Watch the full half hour below:

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  1. Did they talk any about Bioshock? Cause if not, I ain’t watching it.

    1. What if they talk about Fallout 3 instead?

    2. I don’t want them to.

      I haven’t played the second installment yet

    3. It would be nice if the serious people could seriously have a serious talk with other serious people about super-serious serious stuff without your unserious nonsense intruding.


      1. I don’t think you’re serious. You don’t sound serious and you have a long history of unseriousness and tomfoolery.

        And the hooliganism. We cant forget that.

        1. You are seriously part of the seriously unserious unpersons seriously known as the Axis of Unserious. I am a serious person who want to seriously discuss serious thing. You are nothing.

          1. Shut up, glibster. At least we’re not part of the Axis of Ho, which at this point includes nicole and jesse.

            1. FALSE: SF has aligned himself with the Axis of Ho.

              1. You goddamned fucking traitor, NutraSweet. You abandon the Axis of Jerk for the Axis of Ho? You’re fucking dead to me!

                1. Not to give away too many of our future plans, but we, The Axis of Ho, need lebensraum and we’re considering annexing the fertile plains of Skank, our nearest neighbors to the east. Just know that in the future nicole, SF and I will likely control the Axis of Jerk’s access to all Skank resources.

                  1. Why are you telling him our super-secret plan?!?

                  2. Threatening my people’s access to skank is how wars get started, jesse. Think carefully about what you do next.

                    1. I’m sorry nicole. I can’t help myself.

                      Epi, you’ve been an unfettered power around here for too long (you know except for when you’re fettered in Warty’s basement).

            2. I thought that Jesse was a guy, right after I thought that she was a girl. I’m really confused. Maybe Jesse is both.

              1. Maybe Jesse is both.

                I mean…isn’t he?

              2. Maybe Jesse is both.

                Given certain interpretations of what jesse is, that’s actually not far off.

                1. Well, regardless, I think Jesse is a nice guy… errr… girl… oh whatevah!

                  1. He’s a nice ho is what he is.

                    1. Have you payed your name change fees, yet? Needs moar revenue!

                  2. For reference: I have a y-chromosome, identify as a man, and sleep with men, or I’m a cis-male sodomite.

                2. Given certain interpretations of what jesse is, that’s actually not far off.

                  I’m sort of interested to see how weird this conversation gets.

                  1. I’m sort of interested to see how weird this conversation gets.

                    Listen, I’m not into all that anal roughhousing you Axis of Ho folks are always getting up to so keep it off my lawn!

                    1. “we’re considering annexing the fertile plains of Skank”

                      I’m questioning your plan, have you ever smelled the the fertile plains of Skank. That smell don’t wash off, yo!

          2. Yay! I have my own Axis!

            Just so you know, we’re going to have Axis parties and you aren’t invited.

            1. So, it’s you, Warty, and one of those Koreas?

              1. All of these Koreas.

                1. I’m not clicking on that…

                  1. That’s good. ARI IS MINE.

                    1. That’s good. ARI IS MINE.

                      Doori is cuter.

                    2. You’re an idiot. Ari is obviously the best Korean of all.

                    3. Doori is cuter.

                      SHE’S MINE. Get your own foxy Korean chick, who will happily cut your balls off in the middle of the night.

                    4. If you’re not on TEAM ARI, you might as well be jesse.

                    5. I’m pretty sure Ari would cure even jesse of faggotry.

                    6. Not big on East Asians, although I probably would’ve tapped Wayne’s World era Tia Carrere just for the heck of it (She got all boxy by the time she did her Playboy shoot).

                    7. You say that like it’s a bad thing, Epi.

                    8. You had a K-pop group when you lived in Korea, right, jesse?

                    9. TBH, I got zero action the entire time I was in Korea. It was an incredibly frustrating year. I had three guys live with me, one closeted, one “didn’t like to be labeled” and one openly bi with a preference for women. No action. My straight, Canadian coworker who liked hanging out at gay bars was a gaysian magnet. It was a very aggravating year.

                    10. If jesse is half the ho he should be, he would object to being on team Ari because of her shoes. Stop it with these inappropriate open toes!

                      (Disclaimer: I was totally on her team until I looked down.)

                    11. Shoes? God, you are the worst.

                    12. Are you on TEAM ARI or not?!?

                    13. Assuming she has other shoes that she wears sometimes, I will join TEAM ARI.

                    14. She’s a chick, nicole. Therefore she has an infinite number of shoes. YOU KNOW THIS.

                    15. MiU is also an acceptable answer.

                    16. Yes, I am Team MiU.

                    17. SHE’S MINE. Get your own foxy Korean chick, who will happily cut your balls off in the middle of the night.

                      You can have them all, I prefer


                      (disregard the music)

                    18. Ew, gross, Puerto Ricans. I mean, I’d fuck most of them, but only if they made me empanadillas.

                    19. Growing up in California, I’ve only met one girl (aside from a friend’s mom, but she was too old to really judge) that’s full Puerto Rican, but if she is in any way representative of Puerto Rican women in general, I may just have to take a trip to San Juan some time

      2. I’m totally serial!

  2. Are we going to mention Bioshock in every thread until they repost it?

    1. Yes. Though I’d rather talk about Borderlands.

      1. People can’t just have a serious discussion with you around, can they?

        1. No. Fucking. Way. I’d rather talk about your mom.

          1. Talk about her all you want, but the next time you’re digging around in your asshole could you retrieve her teeth and send them back? Thanks.

            1. As long as you reimburse me for the shipping.

              1. Fine, but that means you have to wash them first.

      2. Though I’d rather talk about Borderlands.

        I started fighting the BUNK3R last night (which kicked my ass repeatedly) and then I couldn’t get to sleep.

        1. Get a static weapon to burn down its shields. I think I used a static rocket launcher and just wailed on it really fast. Then switch to corrosive.

          1. That’s sound advice. Unfortunately, I don’t have any static weapons. Guess I’m going shopping.

            1. BUNK3R ain’t got no shields, yo. You don’t need to worry about static weapons.

            2. Actually, check that. Just go to where the covered pool is and pop it with a rocket launcher, occasionally crushing any loaders that have the temerity to bother you. The covered pool will protect you from it. You will have to run around and clear out the majority of the loaders first. Go heavy on the corrosive, and burn through all your grenades as Longbows used against BNK3R.

              1. Got any advice on how I can take candy from a baby?


        2. Run. Shoot. Run. Shoot. Repeat.

          Stick to corrosives for the robots and explosives for the BUNK3R.

          1. Well shit, run/shoot/repeat was the first thing I tried.

        3. Try harder. Suck less.

          1. Also sound advice.

        4. Just stand up near the water and pick off the turrets with your sniper rifle.

        5. It would help if Brick weren’t shouting at me the whole time. It makes me very anxious. I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN.

          1. Bloodwing died BECAUSE OF YOU. Of course Brick is upset.

            1. SPOILER ALERT!!! for a game I’ve never heard of!

              Come on Warty, spoilers makes you worse than jesse, who’s obviously already worse than Hitler for unknown reasons.

              1. When the fuck did I become the love child of nicole and Epi?

                (to be fair I am worse than Hitler, but y’all shouldn’t know that yet)

            2. Don’t you mean Mordecai? NEWB.



  3. what about Bioshock

    IN SPACE!!!!???

    1. How would you build an underwater dystopia in space? There’s no water!

      1. maybe they invented an extra-long garden hose?

    2. It was called System Shock, and it was pretty good.

  4. Matt,

    I think you should boycott HuffPo until the thought police over there stop censoring libertarian opinions.

    1. what does this have to do with Bioshock?

      stop hijacking the discussion

    1. too bad the cosplay went downhill after the 1st image

      the titties aren’t pushed up enough

    2. Of course you would find this. And thank you.

    3. Eww. I’ll bet there’s a bunch of dudes who have a new fetish of being beaten with that book. I started playing the X-Com I got for free via Amazon, and haven’t gone back after playing through the first chapter? Episode? Anyways, ’til just after the character met up with Elizabeth.

  5. What did I miss about Bioshock?

    1. There was a SF’d link posted to a review my McSuderman, but it seems to have disappeared.

    2. Suderman said it’s a lousy game with a shitty premise. After he posted his ramblings on the subject, the article was pulled and he was disappeared.

      1. The virtual gun grabbers got him.

  6. Do we know where Rand Paul stands on Bioshock?

    1. He’s against it because he has to compromise with the socons if he wants the nomination.

      1. If you don’t want your children to get hooked on gene-mutating superdrugs and run off to live underwater, perhaps you shouldn’t be such a failshit parent.


    Ants in Germany can predict earthquakes:

    During the day, ants busily went about their daily activity, and at night the colony rested inside the mound, mirroring human diurnal patterns, Berberich said at a news conference today. But before an earthquake, the ants were awake throughout the night, outside their mound, vulnerable to predators, the researchers found. Normal ant behavior didn’t resume until a day after the earthquake, Berberich said.


    1. The problem with this, why they are so unreliable in their seismic predictions, is that half the time, it’s just some fat kid walking by their mound, drinking a 32 oz. sugary drink. Too many false positives.

      If only we would listen to Mikey, the ants would be our friends.

      1. The ants are my friends
        They’re blowin’ in the wind

    2. I, for one, welcome our new insect seismologists!

  8. I like how HuffPo has to pretend that they’re only source of good information about Rand Paul doesn’t just come from Reason, so they invite three other people. In the meantime, I have to wait 5 minutes or so for the conversation to cycle back around to Balko and Welch.

    1. *their

  9. Good, non-glib answer at 17:40, Matt.

    1. Agreed. For anyone who doesn’t feel like bothering with the video, here’s the exchange:

      “What do you guys [libertarians] really want? Ultimately, you just want to be able to smoke marijuana in the Google hangout with us?”

      “I do want a country where we don’t have two million people in jail, which is an absolute international shame and travesty, and on some basic level any politician who’s not working actively to end that has my enduring contempt.”

      [he goes on from there, but that’s all the transcribin’ I’m up for right now]

  10. Matt Welch and Radley Balko Discuss Rand Paul and GOP Libertarianism

    That must have been a really short conversation.

    1. Was actually not bad, except for the Frothy supporter.

  11. Question: is Bioshock worth playing? I can’t make myself start playing it because I fear it’s full of Straw Galts.

    1. No one knows, every time someone tries to post a review of it, for discussion, the review just mysteriously disappears with no explanation.

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