Election 2012

Townhall Tussle! Reason Takes It To The People in the Second 2012 Presidential Debate Drinking Game

|

It's a tie game, folks: With the first of three presidential debates down and the vice presidential sideshow over, the two men at the top of the major party tickets will face off once again in yet another 90 minute debate.

The last two weeks have been driven by Mittmentum: After a listless performance by President Obama in the first debate, GOP nominee Mitt Romney has picked up about three points in the polls, making the race essentially tied. So tonight's big question is whether the president will be able to stage a comeback, or at least show up looking fully awake.

For tonight's contest, they're taking it to the regular folks: Tonight's debate at Hofstra University in Long Island, New York, will be conducted townhall style, with a gaggle of undecided voters lined up to ask the questions that are near and dear to their own hearts. "This is the one debate that belongs to the people," Romney debate coach Brett O'Donnell told the Associated Press. 

Granted, tonight's debate will differ in a number of ways from a typical townhall meeting. The whole thing is as carefully controlled as a WWE smackdown: National polling firm Gallup painstakingly questioned and selected 80 truly undecided voters to question the candidates. Those voters have already been rehearsing in advance using "dummy questions" (feel free to make your own joke here).

And unlike most townhall meetings that I'm familiar with, this debate will be moderated by a brand-name national journalist: CNN's Candy Crowley. Both campaigns have already questioned her role because Crowley has suggested she might not strictly follow the debate rules set by the two campaigns, which provide an extremely limited role for the moderator. Indeed, she has suggested that might even ask follow up questions intended to get candidates to clarify their answers. The horror!

Which just serves as a depressing reminder of what both presidential face offs are really interested in: Not answering potentially difficult questions, but putting on a carefully scripted show.

It's enough to drive a person to drink. Fortunately, Reason has a handy drinking guide for those who want to coordinate their sips and shots with the candidates' non-answers. Take a drink every time…

  • Obama mentions "the 47 percent."
  • Mitt Romney promises to lower tax rates, cut loopholes, and maintain current revenue levels without explaining how.
  • Obama says he has a $4 trillion deficit reduction plan. Double shot if he says the words "balanced plan."

  • Romney mentions a five point plan, or any numbered list.
  • Anyone claims to be defending, saving, or otherwise protecting Medicare.
  • Either candidate mentions their own _____Care (RomneyCare for Romney, ObamaCare for Obama).
  • Obama talks about immigration without mentioning that he has deported immigrants 50 percent faster than his GOP predecessor.
  • Mitt Romney talks about building a border fence, or says "self-deportation."
  • Obama blames Hillary for security failures in Benghazi.
  • Candy Crowley asks a follow-up question. Double shot if either candidate tries to weasel out of answering.
  • Anyone says the word jobs.
  • Anyone mentions Bill Clinton.

Be sure to check back in at debate time (9 p.m. EST) as Reason editors live blog the debate.

Advertisement

NEXT: Police Want To Track Everybody's Driving Habits

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. I really don’t understand how you masochists can watch these “debates” no matter how much alcohol is involved.

    1. (I read masochists as maoists – I need to lighten up)

    2. Agreed. Even with the prospect of epic lulz at potential cries of woe from the Obamatrons, I can’t watch this shit. Two megalomaniacal scumbags swiping at each other and sucking up to the audience? Ugh.

      1. You can say that again!

      2. I’ll have the Tigers game on and Lost Boys waiting in the wings…

    3. You never know when the Joker will show up and make things interesting.

      1. Will Biden be there??

  2. Speaking of masochists, I’ll be watching the Yankees.

    1. At least the Yankees admit to being rich and spending their money on other rich people and don’t pretend to give a shit about poor people like Obama.

      1. Even the poor Yankees fans are rich!

        1. Well, fuck, you know how much it costs for even a bleacher seat at New Yankee Stadium?

          1. With or without the obstructed view of the corners?

            1. Anyway:

              The sight lines to the field are blocked by the Mohegan Sun Sports Bar….In the new Yankee Stadium, the Yankees Bleachers are widely consider to be the best value in all of Major League Baseball when purchased at face price…..Obstructed view Yankee Stadium bleacher seats cost $5 per game while normal view Yankees bleacher tickets cost $15 each.

              http://www.yankeesseatingchart…..z29UKp7LEb

              1. Yeah, and you know what they cost in my day?

                Back in Nineteen-Ought-Three….

            2. Why do they quit hitting every stinking October? They have wasted fabulous starting pitching this year.

              1. Good pitching beats good hitting.

                1. Also no hitting.

  3. I hope to hell my DVR has something for me tonight. I guess there’s always Netflix – maybe they’re finally offering last season’s How I Met Your Mother.

    1. I just ran out of Archer last night. Please Jeebus let there be something on the TiVo.

      Oh wait, I have Borderlands. I DO NOT CARE NOW.

      1. Second playthrough of Dishonored for me.

        1. That game sounds lousy.

          1. The new sim city will be released in February.

            No word yet on if soda bans will be in the game.

          2. It sounds awesome to me, something in the vein of a Looking Glass/Ion Storm game.

            1. Definitely a Looking Glass vibe to it.

          3. Harvey Smith is co-creator. The man who gave us universal ammo and the worst sequel to a great game ever.

          4. Dishonored fucking rocks.

    2. Watching Sons of Anarchy and repeats of Breaking Bad. Don’t really give a damn who “wins” because whoever wins, we lose.

      1. So who is “Alien” and who is “Predator”?

        1. For myself, I would give Obama the role of the Aliens (and not just because he’s from Kenya) due to his ability to spawn legions of mindless fodder that stalk and overwhelm their prey with bestial ruthlessness. I guess that would make Romney the Predator, despite his lack of badass weapons, personal cloaking device, or code of honor.

          1. So Romney is Predator by way of being Not Obama. If it’s working for his campaign, why not for this too?

      2. As long as you have BB.

    3. I’ll probably watch, just because the last one was amusing, but if not I’ll be catching up on Burn Notice.

    4. Google “Free TV” and the first link (project free tv) is a site that has every episode of HIMYM (including last night’s new one) plus just about every other TV show of any significance and hundreds of movies. It blows Netflix away. Make sure Adblock is installed first though because there are a lot of popups without it.

    5. Turner Classic Movies for me.

      1. It’s Movies About Blind People night, though.

      2. I know longer have the patience for typical fair from the golden age of cinema. No one dealt with exposition with much in the way of professionalism back then. It was assumed audiences needed to be spoon fed.

        Reminds me, most of the way through Reamde at the moment. Pretty decent, but Stephenson has a few hang ups in that manner as well. In the middle of the most climatic event in the first third of the novel, he pulls out about six pages of background on a character he introduces in the middle of the event, nymph spy Olivia. Okay with the character, but damn, man, you can fill us in on who she is later after the shit goes down. Besides, context of where she is positioned tells us what she is up to.

        Also, technical expertise is Neal’s forte, but not all technical detail is equally interesting. What the fuck was up with going over laying out the flight plan on multiple occasions? Shit.

  4. Looks like I’ll have to crack open my porter before it has fully bottle conditioned.

  5. Drink every time someone says “Jobs”?? It’s official, the Reason staff is trying to kill us.

    1. Seriously. I am a pretty heavy drinker, ok I am a very heavy drinker but I don’t think I could finish the whole debate if I took a shot for every one of those rules.

      You would probably pass out in the first 30 minutes.

    2. I agree, its like alcohol Russian Roulette – I would stalk out in a huff, but the alt-text was pretty good.

  6. The article starts off wrong. Debate-wise, it’s Romney 1, Obama 0. Granted, Obama will be declared the winner tonight (they won’t get caught off guard again) but still.

    There should be a shot if Crowley asks a particularly loaded or cringingly softball follow-up.

  7. When you find yourself becoming attracted to Crowley, stop drinking.

      1. Agreed. You need to stop at ‘she’s not THAT bad’. Otherwise you wake up with a pair of XXXL granny panties on your head.

    1. And immediately seek emergency medical attention.

  8. Absolutely the wrong game for this debate. Instead of drinking, you should eat a donut hole every time one of these things happen. Because Candy Crowley is moderating it, and she’s fat. Does that make sense?

    1. You shouldn’t say “Candy Crowley” and “donut hole” in the same sentence.

      1. Or paragraph.
        Hell, ever.

  9. We are supposed to take seriously a grown professional woman named “Candy?” Would you watch pron starring a guy named PeeWee?

    1. It’s a nickname based on eating habits. Much like Warty’s.

    2. Hey! Watch that mouth!

      Candy is a very respectable name in the sex trade industry!

    3. I’m still sticking to the “we’re in a Rand novel, and all villains have villainous names” thesis, in which case her name was chosen to convey “fat” and “Satanic”. Even though “Satanic” really doesn’t make sense as a bad trait for a Rand novel, but I guess it’s a metaphor.

  10. Crowley has suggested she might not strictly follow the debate rules set by the two campaigns, which provide an extremely limited role for the moderator.

    Enough with the goddamn fucking intrusive moderation. It was annoying enough during the VP debate to hear that harridan interrupt every 30 seconds without reason.

    1. Unless one candidate is out on his feet or in a submission hold or otherwise indicates his submission, the moderator needs to stay out of it. And frankly at this level, I am not really sure that even TKOs should be authorized. Let one of them finish the thing.

    2. Really? I absolutely hope she makes a even gigantic trainwreck of this mess. That would be freaking awesome. I want to see Candy (if that is her real name) arguing like a petulant schoolgirl with the two sociopaths. C’mon, how damned hilarious would that be? What good are these “debates” other than potential dark comedy?

      1. That would be funny. And it would be a disaster for Obama.

    3. Say What Thou Wilt, shall be the whole of the debate rules.

  11. I think Reason is trying to kill all of it’s readers by alcohol poisoning. A double shot if either tries to weasel out of a follow-up? That’s gotta be at least 20 shots an hour.

    1. All of it is readers?

      1. Really, a fucking grammar troll? Ill have my editor’s differentiate between possessive contraction forms and place apostrophe’s in the right fucking place for you next time. Kill yourself 🙂

  12. Why the hell is the “townhall” debate being held in fucking Long Island?! Why not in a state that can be won by either party? Or a state that at least kinda represents the general US population?

    Disclosure: I live in Ohio.

    1. Oh, fuck it, I don’t really care. I’m voting for Johnson anyway.

      1. It is harder to stack the deck with Democratic activists in swing states.

  13. Why does the GOP agree to these things? They really are the stupid party. You can guarantee that every person at this thing will be a Dem activists pretending to be an independent and wanting to ask Obama how much he really cares about America and Romney why his VP wants to kill his grandmother and rape his daughter and hates black people. I would have thought ponytail guy would have ended these things.

  14. Good thing, I’m off from work. I might just get plastered!

  15. Anyone says the word jobs

    Well, shit, you just killed us all with alcohol poisoning.

    Eff this noise. The new update to Minecraft on the XBox is out today. That’s actually more important than if Sociopathdee or Sociopathdum “wins” a “debate”. I’m “throwing away” my “vote” of Gary Johnson anyway.

    1. Fuck. I think we’re supposed to drink for that too.

  16. http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-…..-questions

    Candy Crowley. It is all about ME ME ME!!

    1. She wants to get all the glowing articles that Raddatz got and not the scorn that Lehrer got. The only way to do that is to make Obama look good.

      1. And having a moderator shut the fuck up and let the candidates speak is apparently “sexist”.

        http://dailycaller.com/2012/10…..y-crowley/

        Amy Siskind, of The New Agenda, told The Daily Caller that she believes there is an effort to silence the one female moderator this year, and by extension, discussion of women’s issues.

        One female moderator? That will come as a hell of a surprise to Raddatz’ ex husbands.

        1. VP debates don’t count.

          1. That is not what they were saying last week.

        2. Right, like they don’t have women lined up to ask Mitt these questions.

          1. The “women’s issues” questions, I mean.

  17. Relevant! Leaked Debate Agreement Shows Both Obama and Romney are Sniveling Cowards. Normally I’d stay away from Gawker, but this is too good to pass up.

    1. Unsurprising. I can’t necessarily blame either one of them. Debates, especially town hall debates, are an idiotic waste of time. Why risk making a big mistake in them if you don’t have to?

    2. Unsurprising. I can’t necessarily blame either one of them. Debates, especially town hall debates, are an idiotic waste of time. Why risk making a big mistake in them if you don’t have to?

      1. Would Romney or Obama double post if they posted here?

        1. Considering they say virtually the same things (“cut our dependence on foreign oil” “make health care affordable for all” “stop iran from geting nukes” etc etc) , consider the first post to be the Romney statement and the second post to be the Obama statement.

  18. For tonight’s contest, they’re taking it to the regular folks

    Aren’t they always?

  19. CNN’s Candy Crowley … has suggested that [she] might even ask follow up questions intended to get force candidates Mitt Romney to clarify their his answers.

    FTFY

  20. Those voters have already been rehearsing in advance using “dummy questions” (feel free to make your own joke here).

    That’s easy. Anyone planning on voting for either of these two clowns is a dummy. And anyone who’s actually agonizing over the decision is a fucking idiot.

    1. And anyone who’s actually agonizing over the decision is a fucking idiot.

      But this is the most important election in a generation! I like the liberal social policies of the Obama Presidency, but I can’t stomach the out of control spending by Democrats. On the other hand, I really like the fiscal conservatism that Romney is talking about, but deplore the GOP war on gays, women, children, and old people. So actually, agonizing over this decision is pretty much justified. I mean, it is the most important election in a generation!

  21. I hope who ever wins the election loses in Ohio.

    Cuz fuck Ohio.

    Sick and tired of every calculation with electoral math always coming down to that crappy state.

  22. Reason needs to change it into a “toking” game. The alcohol would kill me before I could tolerate this shit. High out of my mind I’d probably find it uncontrollably hilarious though.

  23. Borderlands, Dishonored, Alien vs Predators, Burn Notice and Breaking Bad all mentioned in one comments thread on a story about a presidential debate drinking game.

    Yup, this is why I’m a libertarian.

  24. This crowd is way too sedate. I enjoyed the hecklers that would show up at the Republican debates.

  25. Oh fuck what’s that other point in this question the shop steward told me to ask?

  26. Sounds like a very good plan to me dude .Wow.
    http://www.Privatize-it.tk

  27. Which just serves as a depressing reminder of what both presidential face offs are really interested in: Not answering potentially difficult questions, but putting on a carefully scripted show. cheap nfl jerseys positions. If either candidate started talking a good libertarian talk, even if only on a few subjects, they wouldn’t ever be trusted this late in the game. And the game here is not just this general election but the whole of their political careers.

  28. It’s a tie game, folks: With the first of three presidential debates down and the vice presidential sideshow over, the two men at the top of the major party tickets will face off once again in yet another 90 minute debate, but putting on a carefully scripted show. cheap nfl jerseys positions. If either candidate started talking a good libertarian talk, even if only on a few subjects, they wouldn’t ever be trusted this late in the game. And the game here is not just this general election but the whole of their political careers.

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.