Election 2012

Joe Biden: The Smirk Store Called; They're Running Out of Smirks.

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NEXT: Reason Live Tweets the 2012 Vice Presidential Debate. Now!

Nick Gillespie is an editor at large at Reason.

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  1. sticks

    Make it stop make it stop

    1. Corning

      In all the years and of all the gifs…

      Reason chooses this one to break their no animated gif taboo.

      1. I’m glad I visit with only cached images set to load.

        Is it only a couple of frames, or is it one of those memory-hogging gifs as a substitute for video?

        1. Atanarjuat

          It’s only two frames, but his facial skin seems as loose and stretchy as my freshly shorn nutsack.

      2. LSUFreek, it isn’t.

  2. MJGreen

    Well I slept with his wife!

    1. Sudden

      The dead one?

      1. MJGreen

        That is the implication, yes.

        And I do feel crappy for doing it.

        1. Sudden

          Don’t.

          This debate made the living envy the dead.

          We even envy the dead with your dick in ’em. That shows you how bad this was.

  3. Tulpa Doom

    This is why we’re not allowed to post images on H+R.

  4. Thanks for the nightmare fuel, Reason.

  5. Of course they’re running out. Bain Capital acquired the smirk factory in 1998 and fired all the workers before selling the assets to Chinese interests.

    1. A woman DIED due to a critical lack of smirks, Hugh. You glibertarians are all the same.

      1. OK, that one was #WINNING!

  6. T o n y

    The straw store called. They’re running out of Republican grasping.

    1. Beefkins

      Gee guys, Tony’s right! Instead of focusing on Slow Joe’s weird facial tics, we should be focusing on the more important things. Like the fact that he lied about voting against the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Or the fact that he’s geographically retarded with regards to Libya and Syria.

      1. T o n y

        One ambiguous the other not an error, just fumbled in delivery. Ryan lied all night. It’s not his fault, it’s what his party does, because “we want to take your social security money and give it to billionaires and defense contractors” doesn’t sell so well.

        1. PapayaSF

          Biden pretty brazenly lied about not forcing Catholic organizations to provide birth control, etc. Then why are they suing?

          1. Sudden

            One thing that bothered my about that exchange and bothers me about the abortion issue in general:

            “I personally subscribe to the Catholic belief in life at conception, but I’m not willing to tell anyone else how to live their life.”

            I can respect the idea of being pro-choice because you believe it is just a ball of cells. But the second you say you believe it is life, but that some people should be allowed to end that life, then you’re essentially giving allowances for taking innocent life and thereby robbing the most essential of all civil rights, the right to not have your life taken by another without your consent. I know this “my personal belief is x but my policy belief is y” is the go to line for all pro-choice candidates, but it is fundamentally either a) illogical or b) sociopathic.

            1. T o n y

              He failed to make a strong pro-choice argument and fell back on religion, yeah. You’re right.

              1. Sudden

                Regardless of the pro-choice or pro-life position. My whole thesis is that at whatever point you believe something is human life, that becomes worthy of legal protection.

                The whole “i believe x, but I’ll allow y” has emerged as some sort of nuanced middle ground that allows people to skirt the issue and not grapple with the fundamental morality. The sad fact is that at whatever point something becomes human life, it merits legal recognition and protection. Be a man and say “Its just a ball of cells until x trimester/months/birth”. The alternative is tacit support for murder so as to not inconvenience the murderer.

                1. T o n y

                  I agree. The moral premise that a ball of cells is a full person is extremely socially problematic.

                  1. Sudden

                    Your attempts at coming across as clever simply come across as pathetic and try hard.

                    1. PapayaSF

                      Sudden, I understand your point, and it’s a good one. It is odd that it only seems to be an acceptable position when it comes to being pro-choice on abortion. I don’t think it would cut it to say: “I don’t believe in racial discrimination/child labor/beating my wife, but I won’t impose my beliefs on others.”

            2. Bill Dalasio

              Well, I think you can make the case that it is life but doesn’t rise to the level of human life, per se. We show progressively more concern for what we regard as higher order forms of life. We condemn Michael Vick for participating in dog fighting, but hire people to kill mice.

              1. R C Dean

                I suspect that equating fetuses with vermin is not going to convince many pro-lifers to change their tune.

          2. T o n y

            Can’t remember what he said. Churches and other entities that serve or employ majority Catholics are exempt. Other Catholic-affiliated orgs have to facilitate the same rights to women as every other org, and I don’t see why religion should trump a reasonable social accommodation. Nor will I defer to the Catholic Church’s credibility on social consciousness.

            1. Calidissident

              I honestly can’t comprehend how something like an employment contract should be required to include giving one party a “right” to have their birth control paid for.

              1. PapayaSF

                ^This.

              2. T o n y

                Well, I can comprehend a world in which birth control is not easily accessible, and it’s one full of unwanted screaming brats ruining my lunch.

                1. Calidissident

                  Not being paid for by other people = not easily accessible? WTF? And if that’s your definition, isn’t that world anywhere on Earth at any time in history? If so, you think free birth control is just gonna magically change that?

                2. VG Zaytsev

                  Well, I can comprehend a world in which birth control is not easily accessible

                  Which world is that Tony?

                  It’s certainly not modern America, where ten bucks will buy you a months’ worth of birth control pills or a a bottle of 50 condoms.

                3. The Craig

                  “Well, I can comprehend a world in which birth control is not easily accessible, and it’s one full of unwanted screaming brats ruining my lunch.”

                  Tony sees no difference between shooting a kid in the head and not offering them free abortions to themselves.

            2. PapayaSF

              But Tony will defer to Joe Biden’s credibility on social consciousness.

            3. AuH2O

              Yep, Tony, you’re really doing the Catholic Church a favor, what with letting them run all those cheap hospitals and generous charities.

              Can I say how pissed off I will be when your fellow travelers start bitching about the Catholic Church closing its hospitals rather than violate their beliefs? How angry it will make me when people call the Catholic Church mean and evil for doing so?

              1. Like their adoption services in IL – oh well, I am sure the hard working government employees will make up for it!

            4. Rights-Minimalist Autocrat

              Free stuff is not a right.

              1. Mr. Soul

                …because I have a right to not provide it.

        2. Francisco d Anconia

          The straw store called and said your man is so large they can no longer meet your demand.

          1. T o n y

            your man is so large

            I get that a lot.

            1. Francisco d Anconia

              Uhummm.

            2. AuH2O

              Just be careful there, buddy. Some nasty things can happen to your anus if you fella is a bit too large there.

              Use lube, kegels, etc.

            3. AuH2O

              Also, Tony, I hope your young fella has the goddamn courtesy to give you a reach around.

              1. T o n y

                My fella? Reacharound? Are you 80?

        3. Calidissident

          It’s funny how Tony thinks Republicans are a bunch of serial liars, and then actually think they’re serious whenever they say things about cutting spending and limiting government. The Republicans are never gonna do shit about Social Security, least of all Romney and Ryan

          1. Cytotoxic

            QFT

          2. Tulpa (LAOL-PA)

            Never is a long time.

            1. R C Dean

              The Entitlement State will get reformed, and there’s a nonzero chance it will be Republicans that do it, simply because they may be the ones sitting in the big chair when we hit the fiscal wall.

              There’s the same nonzero chance that Dems will reform the Entitlement State.

              The critical variable here isn’t party, because our ruling class, regardless of party, won’t touch the Entitlement State in any meaningful way if they can possibly avoid it. The critical variable is timing: when the music stops, whoever is in charge will reform.

              1. Mr. Soul

                agreed. Reality will assert itself, it always does.

        4. One ambiguous the other not an error, just fumbled in delivery

          Which, the vote for the Iraq war or the lie?

    2. Sudden

      My takeaway:

      Paul Ryan is a pussy.

      He needed to take the gloves off. When it comes to budgetary policy, he wins on substance, but substance matters little to the lemmings who simply want the guy that sounds like he cares (note to Ryan: take up smoking, the great unwashed think a raspy voice means “caring.”) A couple of openings for him to attack that should’ve been hammered immediately:

      During Biden’s delirious cackling before the NO2 wore off: “I’m not sure what you’re laughing at Mr. Vice President, but I can assure you that the American people don’t find (insert apropropo portion here/the debt/jobs/dead ambassadors/etc) funny.”

      When Biden was talking about how the Ayatollahs see things he said “They see a crippled economy around them” The response should’ve been immediate and I saw the opening (perhaps I should be a VP, nm, I have some standards) “Well, Mr. Vice President, I will give you credit. Your administration has proven adept at crippling economies. “

      1. Sudden

        That wasn’t supposed to be a reply to T I N Y. Oh well.

      2. Killazontherun

        note to Ryan: take up smoking, the great unwashed think a raspy voice means “caring

        If you have the same voice you did at fifteen, it means you haven’t lived. It’s a fair assumption.

        1. Killazontherun

          And I bathe at least once a month whether I need it or not.

        2. darius404

          If you have the same voice you did at fifteen, it means you haven’t lived. It’s a fair assumption.

          I’ve never smoked, yet I do not have this problem.

      3. Tulpa Doom

        I disagree. Biden wanted to play the bad boy and he overdid it beyond belief.

        1. Sudden

          Agreed a bit on the first half of the debate. But he seemed to transform into a bit more of a shrewd politician after he was able to pull the widow card. His dead wife seemed to be the turning point in the debate, the point at which he was able to restrain his anger and smugness just enough to come across as passionate.

          1. Tulpa Doom

            You never get a second chance to make a first impression, as they say. He was so nasty in the first part that the widow card just looked trite.

      4. John C. Randolph

        Paul Ryan is a pussy.

        We know he’s a chickenhawk, just like Willard. I’ve yet to meet any chickenhawk who wasn’t an abject coward at heart.

        -jcr

        1. “chickenhawk”? Did this thread just fall into a time warp back into 2004?

      5. R C Dean

        I didn’t watch, but it sounds like Ryan did what he needed to do: look reasonably competent.

        Biden? Dunno. If his charge was to fire up the base, then he probably succeeded. If his charge was to move voters from undecided or leaning Republican to leaning Democrat, I doubt he did much.

    3. Rufus J. Firefly

      Tony, if Ryan had acted like Biden what would you say?

      Biden’s response about Libya was outrageous in lieu of the investigation and what we’re finding out.

      On that ALONE he loses.

      1. Trying to reason with a partisan troll is a Sisyphean task. I recommend you abort.

      2. Sudden

        The thing that Ryan should’ve said in regards to Libya, concerning Iran.

        Your sanctions won’t work for one fundamental reason: the last guy that gave up a weapons program to lessen sanctions was summarily overthrown and publicly executed by your administration six years later. It’s hard to sell someone on peacefully handing over their weapons program when they see the last guy that did that get killed.

        1. gagster

          I agree completely. This is one of the main reasons I thought we should stay out of Libya.

          1. Mr. Soul

            here here!

      3. T o n y

        I honestly can’t tell what actions of this administration deserve investigation and what is yet another Darrell Issa political witch hunt. That’s the problem. Republicans are so unicellularly focused on dinging Obama politically that they make it hard to figure out what’s a real problem.

        IMO I don’t get what the political motivation was supposed to be for Obama, or even what the wrongdoing is supposed to be. Maybe you can explain how the words used to describe the deaths of an ambassador and others makes a difference in reality or politically.

        1. Cytotoxic

          unicellularly focused

          1. T o n y

            A flapping pseudopodium of cynicism.

          2. Tulpa MR-2012

            You know those Rethuglicans. They’re not very evolved.

            1. Cytotoxic

              Tulpa MR-2012

              Who the hell are you?

              1. Tulpa (LAOL-PA)

                I was going through an identity crisis.

                1. darius404

                  I was going through an identity crisis.

                  You should definitely check out Cryptkeeper’s comments in “Very Specific Malarkey: The 2012 Vice Presidential Debate” then. They’re creepy, and ever-so-slightly, tangentially relevant to your “identity crisis”.

                2. Corning

                  You better be.

                  You just told earlier tonight that deregulation would slow down the economy.

        2. PapayaSF

          Poor Obama! If only he didn’t have the opposition focused on dinging him politically! You know, the way Democrats always refrained from dinging Republican presidents.

          1. T o n y

            Do you think there were too many hearings and investigations in the Bush years?

            1. Re: Tony,

              Do you think there were too many hearings and investigations in the Bush years?

              Au contraire! There weren’t nearly enough back then!

              Or now.

            2. Cytotoxic

              Could you be more limp and insipid?

              1. Tulpa (LAOL-PA)

                Don’t tempt him.

            3. Bedonkedonk

              I think he was saying you’re a hypocritical piece of shit.

          2. Tulpa (LAOL-PA)

            Yes, but at least they did it eukaryotically.

        3. Re: Tony,

          IMO I don’t get what the political motivation was supposed to be for Obama, or even what the wrongdoing is supposed to be.

          Perhaps you didn’t hear, but the Nobel laureate was supposed to be this great healer who would deliver Paradise to Fallen man, and the death of the ambassador kind of gives a big chink to that armor.

          1. T o n y

            He was?

            1. darius404

              I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth.

              1. VG Zaytsev

                Who the fuck would write that drivel for Obama?

                I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment…

                Seriously fucking delusional.

        4. Republicans are so unicellularly focused on dinging Obama politically that they make it hard to figure out what’s a real problem.

          As a non-republican and someone who’s not voting for Romney or Obama, I feel that I am uniquely qualified to tell you what’s a real problem and what’s not.

          Our foreign policy in the middle east and the administration’s response to it, both to the Middle East and Americans at home is a big… fucking… problem.

          1. T o n y

            Sure, but are you saying we shouldn’t have an embassy in Libya? Or should Republicans have not voted to cut embassy security? I just what to know what the scandal is supposed to be. A terrorist attack got through on Sept. 11 on Obama’s watch? Okay. That exact thing only a thousand times larger made Bush a hero.

            1. Calidissident

              We spend almost $4 trillion dollars and we can’t even protect our embassies in the most volatile and dangerous region of the world? Prioritization, ever heard of it?

            2. Corning

              If Obama did not have the money to defend our embassy then yes the correct course of action is to close the embassy until it is safe or until we have the money to defend it.

        5. John C. Randolph

          I honestly can’t tell what actions of this administration deserve investigation

          Oh, that’s easy. Just look up a list of shit that Eric Holder is trying to ignore.

          -jcr

        6. Rights-Minimalist Autocrat

          I honestly can’t tell what actions of this administration deserve investigation

          That’s because you’re a dishonest hack.

        7. R C Dean

          I honestly can’t tell what actions of this administration deserve investigation

          And that’s why you have no credibility around here: you are so blinded by partisanship that you can’t see that the utter cockup in Libya needs to be investigated.

    4. Tulpa Doom

      I hate to quash your budding creative wit, Tony, but that doesn’t make any sense.

      1. Sudden

        But his hippie mother will no doubt give him a cookie and a participation ribbon after his bubble bath tonight.

        1. I think that honor will go to his hipster Okie shitkicker boyfriend.

          1. “hipster Okie shitkicker”

            Isn’t that some sort of Lovecraftian thing THAT SHOULD NEVER BE SAID ALOUD?

        2. Tulpa (LAOL-PA)

          Fuck bubble baths. They give you UTIs.

          1. You know what else gives you UTIs?

            1. SugarFree

              Being a woman?

            2. Words With Friends on the last rack. Fuck you, Words With Friends.

    5. Corning

      The straw store called. They’re running out of Republican grasping.

      I have to admit Biden dominated that debate. He called Ryan on all his lies and showed us a clear path to the direction Obama means to lead our country.

      1. Red Rocks Rockin

        Straight down the toilet?

  7. The Troll Store called and said “no receipt, no return.”

  8. YinxDoo

    Wow this makes a lot of sense dude. WOw.
    http://www.UP-Anon.tk

    1. Now that is more like the old school anonbot we like to see!

  9. Sudden

    At least the Titans beat the worthless smelly yinzers. There is some good to salvage the night.

    1. Yeah, I have no idea how that happened.

      But Shuisam wont be sleeping too well tonight, that’s for certain.

      1. Probably the 20 injuries.

        No wait, that wasn’t last night, that was every game for the last two years.

  10. Tulpa Doom

    Wow. I expect to see some suicidal Stillers fans at work tomorrow.

    1. They’re obviously not dedicated if they don’t follow through

      1. Tulpa (LAOL-PA)

        Yes sui, no homi

  11. Calidissident

    Why are there so many Tulpas here?

    1. Generic Stranger

      Somebody violated a Japanese graveyard.

      1. Generic Stranger

        Err…Tibetan.

        1. Tejicano

          I guess you have no idea how Tibetans dispose of their dead…

          1. darius404

            I guess you have no idea how HARD it was to gather all those birds.

            1. darius404

              … and then stuff them in a graveyard so we could violate it.

    2. Tulpa (LAOL-PA)

      It is the wave of the future. Join, or fade away into the mists of time like the others who oppose.

      1. Calidissident

        There can be only one!

  12. Sevo

    T o n y| 10.11.12 @ 11:43PM |#
    “I honestly can’t tell what actions of this administration deserve investigation…”

    Yeah, shithead, that’s because you’re an ignoramus.

  13. free2booze

    Love the way Biden whores out the story of his dead wife and kids.

  14. BigT

    EU wins Nobel Peace Prize.

    What? Not Bashar al-Assad?

    http://world.time.com/2012/10/…..qus_thread

    1. Nobel Committee might as well close the shop- First O! then the EU for what?!

  15. James Anderson Merritt

    This GIF is truly horrific. Not a good way to start my morning. Bad Reason! Bad, Bad Reason!

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