Drug War

New WFOR Theory: The 'Love Drug' Made Rudy Eugene Gnaw a Man's Face Off

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WFOR, the Miami TV station that helped propagate the notion that "bath salts" made Rudy Eugene eat Ronald Poppo's face, reports that "the preliminary toxicology report from Eugene's autopsy" indicates he "had been smoking marijuana near the time of the incident." Exactly how near is not clear, since traces of marijuana can be found in people's bodies long after the drug's effects have worn off. I would give WFOR credit for not insinuating that the Weed With Roots in Hell drove Eugene's attack, but that restraint probably is due only to the fear that people nowadays would laugh at the suggestion. That is not the case with "bath salts," which are much scarier because they are newer and less familiar and who really knows what the hell is in them? Unfortunately, "it will now be at least two months before all the lab work will be completed," which gives WFOR another 60 days for wild speculation like this:

Inside [Eugene's] car investigators found a Koran and five empty bottles of water. The water appeared to have been recently purchased, the law enforcement source told [WFOR reporter Jim] DeFede.

The water, and the notion that Eugene was extremely thirsty, offers investigators another clue into the possible drugs Eugene may have been taking.

For instance, people who take Ecstasy often crave water. Detectives won't know if Eugene took Ecstasy, or some other drug, until the complete toxicology report is issued.

OK, forget what I said. The folks at WFOR clearly are not afraid of provoking laughter if they are prepared to suggest that Ecstasy, a "love drug" known for promoting feelings of benevolence and empathy, impelled Eugene to tear a man's face to shreds with his teeth. A more promising hypothesis is that Eugene bought something that he thought was Ecstasy but that turned out to be a much more dangerous, delusion-inducing, violence-fomenting mystery drug. While there might be a powerful anti-prohibitionist message in that tale, since black markets facilitate such switcheroos, I still have to admit, unlike WFOR, that I totally made it up just now.

The Koran is another red herring, as WFOR reveals:

Police now believe that Rudy Eugene, the so-called Miami Zombie, was not only naked, but was also carrying his bible, when he nearly beat a homeless man to death and chewed off three-quarters of his face.

A senior law enforcement official told CBS4's Jim DeFede, Eugene's bible was found with some of its pages ripped out at the scene of the May 26 cannibal attack that has captured worldwide attention.

The torn bible pages were found not far from the victim's body. In interviews last week, Eugene's mother described her son as a "church boy" who always carried his bible with him.

So far there is zero physical evidence that Eugene took "bath salts" or Ecstasy, and while he had smoked marijuana sometime in the recent past, it is not clear he was still high at the time of the assault. One thing we know for sure: He was definitely under the influence of Christianity. I await WFOR's exposé.

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  1. He was definitely under the influence of Christianity.

    Religion: not even once.

  2. I’m still going with PCP for this one.

    1. Why not ketamine?

      1. Set and setting, and expectations influencing effects.

        1. The psychopharmacology is remarkably similar.

          1. Yeah, I know. But the cultural mystique of each one is completely different. People expect to go nuts with PCP.

        2. Are you talking about drugs or church? Because that seems to apply to both.

      2. I’ve done Ketamine (absolutely fantastic, highly recommended if you’ve got a bit of self control) and I have to say ketamine is one of the very last things I would consider when speculating about this. It’s very relaxing, Is incapacitating at medium and high doses and has a very short duration. The reason PCP has the reputation it does for leading to violent incidents is that in addition to being an NMDA receptor antagonist its a potent dopamine reuptake inhibitor (DRI). For comparison, another DRI is MDPV, which until it’s recent ban was one of the cheicals of choice for bath salt manufacturers. I’ve done it in it’s pure form, and it is just downright evil. Would not do again, or recommend to anyone.

        1. I’m not admitting to anything illegal ever but ketamine and PCP are effectively almost the same thing from an unbiased user perspective . PCP is “better” but they are both disassociative anesthetics that produce stimulation, euphoria and minor hallucinogenic effects at low dose and strongly sedative and more pronounced hallucinogenic effects as the dose increases.PCP has a very undeserved bad rep. James Brown could’ve afforded the most pure and expensive drugs on the market and what did he choose? Disclaimer: Drugs are “bad”.

    2. Why are you going with anything? The guy’s clearly a loon. You don’t have to be on drugs to do crazy shit.

    3. Chloe: you are stuck

  3. OK, forget what I said. The folks at WFOR clearly are not afraid of provoking laughter if they are prepared to suggest that Ecstasy, a “love drug” known for promoting feelings of benevolence and empathy, impelled Eugene to tear a man’s face to shreds with his teeth.

    Obviously, this is just further evidence that the way gays express their love is dangerous.

  4. I did my share of Ecstasy before Reagan banned “designer drugs” and violence was the last thing on my mind – along with Jeebus.

    1. Did Jeebus even exist back then? I thought Homer Simpson invented him sometime in the late 90’s.

    2. shrike, you know that those necklaces they gave you at the kiddie rave were Smarties, and not X, right?

      1. I know its sport for you wingfucks to try to bring me down but I don’t give a fuck,

        Blah blah blah.

        Santorum awaits you.

        1. shrike, I think it’s really cute your favorite drug is NarcScent.

          1. Are you sure this is shrike? He hasn’t used “christfag” once on this thread.

  5. Ecstasy?! Jaysus, ecstasy is the treatment of choice for whatever was going on with Eugene.

  6. 4 Loko and bath salts!

    They had to muzzle him after he threatened to eat the officers

    1. … and weed.

      Maybe the bathsalts just kicked his munchies into overdrive?

  7. The torn bible pages were found not far from the victim’s body. In interviews last week, Eugene’s mother described her son as a “church boy” who always carried his bible with him.

    Schizophrenics and psychotics never have a monomanic devotion toward something, like religion, for example. Nope. Never.

  8. So it was reefer madness, after all.

  9. I’ve hung out with Adam maybe 14, 15 times in my life, and I can tell you…I got naked and ate somebody’s face off every goddamn time. I was like the fucking Hamburglar crossed with Hannibal Lecter.

  10. Religion: not even once.

    Yeah, man! I started off with small-time stuff: just a little Methodism, once a week. By the time I was in college, I’d kicked the habit.

    Then a friend told me, “You should try Episcopalianism, man! It’s awesome!” And I went, and it was cool. But the church I went to eventually was too tame for me. They only had incense and sung services for Easter. So I found a church where they have sung services and incense every Sunday, man! EVERY SUNDAY! And now I’m hooked! Sometimes I even go more than once a week!

    So take it from me, man: don’t try that shit. Don’t even start, man, you’ll get hooked.

    1. I hear you. A friend of my asked me if I wanted to “try some Buddha.” Now I sit on the floor and stare into space for hours at a time!

      1. Buddha always gives me a craving for Cheetos.

          1. I could do that even high. OTOH, I still can’t eat the f#*ing; rice with them…

  11. The amount of moronic speculation on TV never ceases to amaze me. People should collect some facts before whining about drugs.

    1. Oh and condolences to the victim, a terrible story.

  12. The voodoo hypothesis gains more credence by the day…

    1. It isn’t any more ridiculous, that’s for sure.

  13. I saw Refer Madness I am sure pot is what caused all the problems.

  14. What’s a guy got to do to get a hat tip around here? I even got the reefer madness part in.

    1. Would you be satisfied if I just shake my spats in your general direction?

      *kick kick kick* There you go.

  15. It wasn’t bath salts or ectasy that drove Eugene to eat face. He’d just watched this.

    I defy anyone to make it all the way through without having a psychotic break.

    1. 18 seconds before I felt the madness coming and had to stop.

  16. This just in: Toronto is stupid.

    1. That is a Given.

  17. That is not the case with “bath salts,” which are much scarier because they are newer and less familiar and who really knows what the hell is in them? Unfortunately, “it will now be at least two months before all the lab work will be completed,” which gives WFOR another 60 days

  18. Since everybody’s just guessing…I’m going to say it was rabies or the T-virus.

  19. Blame it on Bud.

    Green oppression, our choices at their discretion
    Control obsession, I think it’s time we teach these politicians a lesson

    No more excuses, we’ve had enough, we’re out for blood
    To save your lives you’ll legalize
    but still you…

    Blame it on, blame it on, blame it on bud
    Problems seen aren’t from weed
    Still they will blame it on bud

    Crime is intertwined by the scoring of drugs, made to be thugs
    They blame it on bud
    Lies, a sign of our times, into their minds, decriminalize
    or spill their blood

    Dropouts, gangs, and teenage births
    Depressed losers with no self-worth’s
    All the things that parents fear
    All stem from drugs, TV and beer?
    Well I ain’t buying that, it gets me pissed
    Nay-saying crooks- you’re on our list
    Until it’s taxed, it is quite clear
    Loss of profit is all they fear

    Its time to gather in line leaving behind protesting signs
    Getting our enemies high
    Spreading of lies, arise, militarize, attack from all sides
    Its coming to an end

    Drop guillotines in crimson spurts
    Stoners emerge on red alert
    Dragged through the streets by toking bangers
    Swing from the gallows by hemp-made hangers
    Arm yourselves for coup d’etat
    Marijuana militia martial law
    We won’t stop till all of them are dead

    1. Maybe someone spilled some bong water.

      The skies grew black in Richmond
      The clouds came suddenly, in thunderous wakes the herald of slaughter
      An oblong hole a mile long
      A portal to nowhere? Or perhaps a portal to putrescent party-foul

      Water spills forth, billions of tons, out from the sky, people running for their lives
      Drowning in fear, sickening stench, unable to breathe bong water, beer, and piss
      Water spills forth, billions of tons, out from the sky, dead bodies floating open-eyed
      Drowning in fear, sickening stench, unable to breathe bong water, beer, and piss

      Bongwaterlogged corpses floating
      Twisted dead faces are bloating
      Gross
      Senselessly submerged
      Sick
      Mummies reemerge

      Contaminated mass of murdered funky-smelling zombies murmur
      Objections to their new form
      And other bodies bob above the lurid sea of gruesome gore
      Victims of resin storms
      Shuddersome, the mutants come in droves they swim through weed-like scum
      Fluids used to transform
      Flesh turned green like some bad dream, aquatic beasts and fearsome fiends

      Water spills forth, billions of tons, out from the sky, people running for their lives
      Drowning in fear, sickening stench, unable to breathe bong water, beer, and piss
      Water spills forth, gajillions of tons, out from the sky, dead bodies floating open-eyed
      As mutants some survive, even then not alive
      Human life to deprive, liquids are pushed inside
      Mummified in bong water

  20. If the dude wasn’t mentally ill, extreme thirst and crazy behavior could have been caused/encouraged by jimson weed or other scopolamine/atropine drugs.

    You’d have to be one evil fucker to sell jimson weed as ecstasy, of course.

    1. More support for legalizing it. Legalize everything.

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