DOJ Vs. Joe Arpaio, Military Trained for "Total War" Against Islam, Vikings Get Their Cheese: P.M. Links

• The U.S. Department of Justice pulls the trigger on a suit against Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio. The suit, naming Arpaio, Maricopa County and the sheriff's office, argues Arpaio engaged in racial profiling, sloppy police work and civil rights violations in his never-ending crusade against illegal immigrants.

• Wired's Danger Room publishes documentation from a U.S. military training course that called for "total war" against all Muslims and suggesting the targeting of civilian populations, using Hiroshima and Dresden as examples.
• The House of Representatives cares not for President Obama's evolution: With a 245-171 vote, the House is blocking the Department of Justice from using any taxpayer money to fight the Federal Defense of Marriage Act.
• New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie vetoes bill for health exchanges, citing possibility of "unnecessary obligations" and mandates on the state's citizens.
• The Minnesota Vikings will get their new $975 million stadium. The public's portion of the bill? $498 million. "It's time to keep the Minnesota Vikings here so that our children and our grandchildren, yes, can wear purple," said Republican supporter Sen. Geoff Michael.
• Two suicide bombers kill 55 in Damascus. Syria's foreign ministry is claiming foreign-backed terrorism is the culprit and is asking for U.N. Security Council assistance.
• $34.5 million in stimulus funds nets you all of 183 new jobs in Michigan. (via Reason.com commenter John)

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Comments

[T]

Damn, John, not even a 'frequent' or 'persistent'. You certainly don't rise to the level of 'beloved', but no adjectives at all? That's rough.

[Pro Libertate]

And "Reason.com" rather than Hit & Run? That's like extra grudging.

[Episiarch]

How about purulent?

[Pro Libertate]

Crapulent is good, if he's a drunk.

[John]

I take that as a complement.

[Zeb]

It's a new guy. Give him a little time.

[Hugh Akston]

I would go with "inescapable commenter"

[Episiarch]

"Relentless commenter John"

[Pro Libertate]

Why is it never "Commenting commenter?"

[Episiarch]

"Redundant commenter ProL"

[Hugh Akston]

"Redundant commenter ProL"

[Pro Libertate]

You know, why is everyone down on redundancy? It works in engineering, why not in commentary? After all, it's effective in engineering.

[Episiarch]

"Retarded commenter ProL"

[Rich]

"Superfluous commenter Epi."

[Episiarch]

Hey, I don't rate an "insufferable" or "reprehensible"?!?

[Rich]

"Reprehensively insufferable commenter Epi."

[Episiarch]

Insufferable?!?

[Episiarch]

Commenter?!?

[Mad Scientist]

"Reprehensibly insufferable stain on all that is holy, Episiarch."

[Episiarch]

Holy?!?

[Groovus Maximus]

Would you prefer "hallowed" or "hollowed", then?

[Episiarch]

No, no...just remove "holy" from the sentence and let the rest stand.

[End Child Unemployment]

That's not very nice to use retarded in the pejorative. Often retarded people are born that way and can't help it.

Who the fuck am I kidding, being nice is for people who lack monocles.

[Pro Libertate]

"Pro Libertate of the Apes."

[Aresen]

Primate Libertate?

[Pro Libertate]

"Primarily Libertate."

[Groovus Maximus]

Prima Libturne

[Brandon]

"Cromulent commenter John"

[Mo' $parky]

You know how the saying goes, "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all."

[T]

Yeah, we kind of ignore that one.

[rac3rx]

If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all come over here, sit down by me, and let's talk.

I fix for you.

[Hugh Akston]

Wired's Danger Room publishes documentation from a U.S. military training course that called for "total war" against all Muslims and suggesting the targeting of civilian populations, using Hiroshima and Dresden as examples.

If nothing else, we could see some poignant or darkly comic literary masterpieces come out of it.

[Fist of Etiquette]

What are the Muslims going to care if we bomb Hiroshima and Dresden again? What a ridiculous plan.

[Episiarch]

I say we do it anyway. On principle.

"Gotta nuke somethin'."

[perlhaqr]

I say we go back to Vietnam. They'll never expect it. "Surprise!"

[Aresen]

If you really want to destroy Vietnam, make it a popular tourist destination.

[sage]

Birds gotta fly
Hiroshimas gotta be nuke
Skulls gotta be fucked
etc...

[Anacreon]

The Muslims thought it was over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

[Aresen]

I thought the Germans blew up the Maine.

Or was that the Rosicrucians?

[Francisco d Anconia]

Germans?

[R]

Forget it, he's rolling.

[Pi Guy]

WHO'S WITH ME??!!

[PantsFan]

Podium!

[rts]

Some UK silliness:

West Midlands Police using mobile fingerprint scanners

US self-defence expert banned from entering UK

[Rich]

"The home secretary will seek to exclude an individual if she considers that his or her presence in the UK is not conducive to the public good."

Blimey! There goes everyone on the dole!

[PantsFan]

Brits have weird goals.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fin.....me=2215657

[Pip]

No one dreaming of being an orthodontist?

[rts]

No lion tamers?

[rac3rx]

OK, when I clicked the link, it went straight to #2 on the list, which was a picture of a bunch of miserable looking Africans. My first reaction was, "wait, Brits want to be poor, miserable Africans??"...but I didn't see the caption, which was work for a non-profit. So I guess that means Brits want to just be poor and miserable.

[PantsFan]

Time magazine cover shows mother breastfeeding 3-year-old

[Zeb]

We already did that one. I think that the verdict was that that's a big 3 year old with an attractive mom, and Time sucks, as do overprotective parents.

[Hugh Akston]

It also explains why we haven't seen Warty today.

[General Butt Naked]

His bunk, he's in it.

[Joe M]

No, he's an over-sized three year old.

[Hugh Akston]

Milk: it does a body good.

[General Butt Naked]

That kid's like 14 goddamn years old.

Seeing a woman with her fuckin' teenage son hagnin' off of her titty is a huge boner-killer.

[Rich]

Not for his friends.

[Zeb]

You think that that's a joke, but I actually know some people who had that very arrangement. Very weird, unpleasant people.

[BakedPenguin]

The McPoyles?

[Zeb]

Not too far from it.

[Groovus Maximus]

It is my understanding that this type if arrangement is very popular with the consanguineous crowd.

[rac3rx]

Don't have a boner to kill, but it still seems fuckin' weird.

[nipplemancer]

Time magazine cover shows mother breastfeeding 3-year-old

*ahem*

[Archduke PantsFan]

I've been away

[Mickey Rat]

"...Ms. Grumet, who was breastfed herself until she was six, discusses her choices - including the fact that she also breastfeeds her five-year-old son, who was adopted from Ethiopia in 2010."

She's really obsessed with this concept, isn't she?

[Hugh Akston]

I'm all for covering Sheriff Joe's scrotum in honey and staking him down next to an anthill, but I find it interesting that the DoJ only started paying serious attention to his years of gratuitous abuses after he started making noise about investigating Obama's citizenship.

[T]

Coincidence, Hugh. Merely a coincidence.

[Joe M]

Some else made the point here earlier today. Intentions don't matter. All that matters is results. Whether DOJ has transparently political motivations is beside the point. Arpaio needs to go down hard.

[Killazontherun]

Shoot out between Eric and Joe. Winner gets to go to jail for life.

[Spoonman.]

This is the most awesome thing I've heard so far in 2012.

[CockGobbla]

Shit, the Packers have had the same stadium for 50 years.

Why do shitty teams continue this nonsense about "deserving" a new stadium? Fuck you and your 40 year Super Bowl drought.

[Episiarch]

Another pertinent question is: does a stadium really cost a billion dollars to construct? Really? I have a feeling there are a lot of redirected funds going into that stadium.

[Pro Libertate]

Well, sure. The massive underground bunkers where they have orgies and human sacrifices are really expensive--they go down nearly 500 feet. And Carrara marble ain't cheap, nor is gold these days.

What, you thought the government was worried about the facade at the top?

[Fist of Etiquette]

He wants cut-rate stadiums. What are we, European soccer fans? Happy just as long as we get a chance to give rival fans the business as we're piled up under collapsed roofs and busted stands.

[Pro Libertate]

The business of America is giving other people the business.

[Episiarch]

I thought you were a women's softball fan. Aren't you?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Great. Now I have to retire to my bunk.

[robc]

European (at least English) rules for soccer stadiums is the opposite of cut rate, especially at the lower levels of the pyramid.

Why the fuck do they need covered seating? Will they melt?

Places drawing 500 fans per game have nice covered seating and backs and shit.

Here, if you are only drawing 10,000 to your HS football game, you get metal bleachers (or wood if they havent collapsed yet and needed to be replaced).

[Aresen]

Do you mean like the billion dollar Skydome in TO?

[Pro Libertate]

That's actually just the top of a space elevator that retracts into the ground. Bravo, Canada, bravo.

[TeamBarstool]

Fancy High School Stadium

[Ted S.]

European (at least English) rules for soccer stadiums is the opposite of cut rate, especially at the lower levels of the pyramid.

Having 96 people crushed to death will cause that

[End Child Unemployment]

I thought the primary point of being a (european) football fan was opportunities to give fans of opposing teams a fucking good kicking?

[Pi Guy]

I've never managed to get any deeper than 150 feet in my search for Publicly Funded Orgy & Sacrifice Events. I've been deeper in the Pentagon.

Man, those stadium cops sure play hard ball.

[rho]

In Minnesota, yeah, probably. Permits, inspections, Lutheran tithes, etc.

[robc]

Are they going to design one that doesnt collapse when it snows, this time?

[R C Dean]

The schadenfreude was delicious, even among many Cowboys fans, when the 'Pukes folded (again) and the first Superbowl in the JerryDome was between the Steelers and the Packers, Cowboy nemeses from way back.

[BakedPenguin]

Maybe the Vikes will lose another 4 Superbowls in their new stadium.

[Ted S.]

Not that far back, since the Packers were around for 40 years and won (I think) six NFL titles before the Cowboys even existed.

The Steelers sucked too until they were moved into the AFC with the merger.

[Jerryskids]

"[Vikings Vice-President] Bagley said the team's billionaire owners, New Jersey developers Zygi and Mark Wilf, supported the deal even though $50 million of the cost was shifted from the state to the team because time was running out. The Legislature had only two days left to act.

'It is a heavy lift, but it is the right thing to do for Minnesota,' Bagley said after the House vote."

This brought a tear to my eye - the generosity of these people in allowing the taxpayers of Minnesota to give them half a billion dollars!

Of course, I am aware that here in Atlanta, Arthur Blank (Home Depot billionaire) is working on a deal to get 300 hundred million for a new billion-dollar stadium for his Falcons. I guess he just doesn't love the taxpayer enough to allow them to contribute more, that bastard.

[NeonCat]

Why isn't the GA Dome nice enough for the NFL/Falcons? It's not even 20 years old yet, is it?

If Mr. Blank wants a new stadium, he can build the damn thing himself with parts bought from Home Depot.

[Anacreon]

Match Game question:
"Dumb Dora gave her entire paycheck to help build a new stadium for Mr.____________"

Let's go to the stars. Charles Nelson Reilly?

[gagster]

Match Game question:
"Dumb Dora gave her entire paycheck to help build a new stadium for Mr.____________"

s/b:

Gene Rayburn:
"Dumb Dora was so dumb..."

Everyone:
"How dumb was she?"

Gene Rayburn:
"Dumb Dora was so dumb that she gave her entire paycheck to help build a new stadium for Mr.____________"

[Zeb]

Regarding the DOMA thingy, does anyone know if the DOJ has ever argued against the constitutionality of a federal law in court? Seems to me that their job is to defend the laws (I'm not making any judgments here, just observations). I would have thought that the most they could do would be not to defend it (which seems like the right thing to do to me) and let someone else sue to have it overturned.

[Hugh Akston]

The DoJ defended it up until it went to the circuit court. After that Holder basically told Boehner that Congress would have to do it.

It remains basically the only thing Holder has done right in his entire life.

[Pro Libertate]

Can't believe Minnesota is doing this, what with the economy and the state revenue crunch that I assume they're experiencing.

I'm a fan of our local sports teams, but I won't vote one dime to keep them.

[CockGobbla]

I live in Alabama, and Auburn's and Bama's athletic departments both don't receive state funding. Of course, the racquet of not having to pay your players probably helps out a lot.

But still, what does it say when public university athletic programs generate their own revenue and professional sports teams raid the public treasury for their new construction project.

[Pro Libertate]

They do it because they can. If local and state governments laughed and laughed rather than cowered in fear, this crap wouldn't happen.

[Anacreon]

Of course, much of college teams' revenue comes from tax-deductible "gifts"/donations from alumni and fans. You can't donate to the Vikings and write it off on your 1040. My alma mater has been relentlessly hitting us lately for donations to "upgrade" the athletic facilities, charity that they are.

[Groovus Maximus]

Sounds like lots of free toilet paper. That's for what I use my alum solicitations. Waste not...

[BakedPenguin]

There was a well organized movement against public funding for the Scamway Arena in Orlando, yet they still oozed their way to stealing the funds.

[Pro Libertate]

We're up for scamming, as the Rays are extremely likely to be moving to Tampa. Goody, more taxes.

[Hugh Akston]

I thought the Rays were already in Tampa.

[Pro Libertate]

They're in St. Petersburg. Way south, in the ghetto (and his momma cries). It's been a stupid location all along, but I don't want to pay to move them to Tampa, either.

[Ted S.]

Tell them to build a floating platform in Tampon Bay and play there.

[robc]

The city of Louisville is on the hook for a bid chunk of the new basketball arena, whose primarily tenant is the University.

[robc]

big chunk, even.

$206 million over 30 years.

However, the arena can demand the city pay up to $3.5 million per year extra, if they have exhausted all other sources of revenue and still have a shortfall.

So far this hasnt happened, but they already warned the city to prepare the $3.5M for the 2013 budget.

A "taxing district" was supposed to pay $265M of the debt. Within a certain area any sales taxes above the baseline established in 2009 (I think), is split between the state and the arena. So as the area grows (or inflation), the arena gets more money. Since the baseline was established, sales tax revenue in the district have fallen, so the arena has received nothing so far.

[robc]

Here was the breakdown to pay for the arena:

$265 million from a tax-increment financing district,
The city's pledge of $206 million minimum,
$179 million from interior advertising,
$84 million facility fee,
$63 million in luxury suite revenues, and
$37 million in building naming rights.

This is the KFC Yum! Center, in case you wondered.

So, someone wondered about it costing a billion dollars in Minnesota. A basketball arena here cost 1/2 that, so I believe it.

[Mo' $parky]

Don't let Jezebel hear about this, they'll find a way to be offended.

"Teaching our boys to treat ladies with deference, we choose not to place them in an athletic competition where proper boundaries can only be respected with difficulty," the statement read. "Our school aims to instill in our boys a profound respect for women and girls."

[Hugh Akston]

Wow that's retarded. "We have so much respect for you that we refuse to compete against you."

[Red Rocks Rockin]

I wonder whether the school would have done the same thing if she was on the football team rather than the baseball team.

[Episiarch]

Well, Hugh, I have so much respect for you that I refuse to respect you, so there's that.

[BakedPenguin]

Epi, I have so much respect for you, I'm gong to stop sleeping with you mom.

In a week or so.

[Episiarch]

Thanks, man.

(wipes tear from eye)

Because NutraSweet wants a crack at her and I'll do anything for him.

[Hugh Akston]

Epi, I have so much respect for you that I'm not even going to respond to your comment.

[Episiarch]

I can respect that.

[Zeb]

Shouldn't the school try to instill a profound respect for all people? Do they not have any respect for the male players on opposing teams? What if one of the players is gay? And it's frigging baseball, not exactly a high contact sport.

They can do what they want as they seem to be a private Catholic school, but I'd think that respect ought to take into consideration the fact that some girls want to play baseball.

I'm not offended, just bemused, but if I were the girl that they refused to play against, I would be.

[RBS]

some girls want to play baseball.

They can, it's called softball.

[robc]

I dont understand why fast pitch softball exists.

If they want to play fast pitch, just play womens baseball.

Softball sucks, its too pitcher centric.

[RBS]

That's a good question. I've always wondered why, instead of just playing baseball with a baseball, someone came up with an oversized ball that makes everything incredibly awkward?

[robc]

Easy to hit, I think. Combined with lobbing it to the plate, it makes for a game where the ball is always put into play.

[robc]

Then there is the Chicago version with the insanely oversized ball.

[deet13]

You must be talking about the North Chicago Hipster Kickball League.

Where each game ends when both teams win, and is followed by a celebratory fair trade, artesinal group salad tossing.

[Archduke PantsFan]

Then what's the point of Fast Pitch?

[robc]

There isnt a point to fast pitch, IMO.

Women were playing slow pitch softball, and wanted, for equality reasons or something, to play fast pitch. Instead of switching to baseball, they invented fast pitch softball instead (okay, I think it already existed).

No, I dont know why. Someone had skin in softball surviving, I guess.

[Xenocles]

Patriarchy.

[Zeb]

For some reason I was recently reading about the history of softball. It wasn't invented as a women's game, but as a more accessible version of baseball that required less equipment (glove were often not used in earlier versions and I think the weird Chicago version still uses no gloves) and was easier to play while drunk.

[RBS]

easier to play while drunk.

Now the mystery is solved.

[Mad Scientist]

I can't count the number of times I was dragged out to watch my dad and his drunken brothers play softball. Softball was purely an excuse to leave the wives at home and get tanked with your buddies.

[Mickey Rat]

"And it's frigging baseball, not exactly a high contact sport."

However, she does play a position where collisions happen. A runner from 1st base is expected to slide into 2nd hard to break up a double play. I expect the school's idea is that their students should not be put into a situation where they proper play is to hit a woman.

[kinnath]

The folks from "Our Lady of Twisted Knickers" are wrong, but as the saying goes, "you're not free if you're not free to be wrong."

[oncogenesis]

Our Lady of Sorrows refused to play Mesa Preparatory Academy...

Eponysterical.

[Mo' $parky]

Why don't teachers do cool things?

Freshman Tanisha Medina, who wore the so-called "cone of shame," said it was funny.

"Her No. 1 rule is don't eat, don't drink water, don't chew gum," said Medina. "And I'm always chewing gum, I'm always drinking water, I'm always eating. But she kind of laid off on that because she's a cool teacher."
...
Angela Nielsen, who has a young daughter, said she would have been startled if she heard her daughter was wearing something like that.

"I probably would freak out," Nielsen said. "I really would because she's very sensitive, and I feel that that's very embarrassing and humiliating to a child.

[Rich]

No wonder she'd freak out. Everyone knows this is the *true* "cone of shame".

[Joe M]

Angela Nielsen Random Uptight Mother, who has a young daughter, said she would have been startled if she heard her daughter was wearing something like that.

[gaijin]

, and I feel that that's very embarrassing and humiliating to a child.

feelings=facts. a child=all children.

Sheesh!

[Mickey Rat]

If it is a discipline for eating and chewing gum in class, is not embarassment and humiliation part of the point?

It should be embarrassing not to have the self control to not eat in class.

[Pi Guy]

Perhaps you're not familiar with the 10th Amendment to the US Constitution, wherein in it stated that no one should be made to suffer cruel and unusual punishments, which include undue humiliation.

Just because the feature Cone Kid isn't emabarrassed - which means, by your logic, it isn't working! - doens't make the punishment any less humiliating.

Maybe more to the point? Why the F#*& can't you eat in class?

[Loki]

"Cone of shame" is a reference to the animated film "Up," which Bailey-Cutkomp had previously shown to students.

Why the hell is a highs school science teacher showing the movie "Up" in class? It's not exactly a science documentary.

I probably would freak out," Nielsen said. "I really would because she's very sensitive, and I feel that that's very embarrassing and humiliating to a child.

Maybe that's because you're one of those annoying helicopter parents who have your child into an overly sensitive snowflake who won't last 2 seconds in the real world (I'm guessing).

[Mo' $parky]

It's monkey time. When chimps attack!!!

The calculated surprise attacks on visitors demonstrate very advanced thinking usually only associated with humans.

Osvath said, "What is interesting is that he made these preparations when the visitors were out of sight, and also that he incorporated innovations into the behavior."

[Hugh Akston]

Ape alone is weak. Apes together strong.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Did the chimp come from a genetic research facility and has it been commiserating with a friendly former circus orangutan?

[Pi Guy]

...friendly former circus orangutan?

Ishmael? Is that you?

[Fist of Etiquette]

They've constructed a massive feces-apult.

[Pip]

Zoo chimp Barack Obama makes elaborate plots to attack humans.

FIFY

[Fluffy]

That chimp can plan for the future, which makes him overqualified for a job in the Obama administration.

[Groovus Maximus]

Welcome back, Fluffy. You have been missed.

[Mickey Rat]

Now you've done it, joe won't come back here for another three years.

...wait, what am I saying?

[Tim]

Assad is probably regretting all the help he gave to guerilla warfare in Iraq.

[Mo' $parky]

Occupy DC gets cozy with SEIU, some people not happy.

SEIU member Kandy Gonzalez said Wednesday that she and other members were upset with the union spending dues on non-union concerns.

"We're not happy," she said on Fox News. "When you pay dues, you think you're paying for a better work environment."

[R C Dean]

Where has Kandy been her whole life? Did she just join the union? Or is she so dim that she never realized that most of her union dues were being siphoned off for stuff that has nothing to do with her?

[rho]

"We're not happy," she said on Fox News. "When you pay dues, you think you're paying for a better work environment."

Union members still think it's 1920 and that they work in a coal mine.

[plu1959]

What do I have to do to get HnR to load faster? Is there like a premium membership I can buy where I get access to the good servers?

[Mo' $parky]

Use Firefox, get NoScript.

[robc]

Yep, noscript it down to reason and youtube (assuming you want to see the imbedded videos).

[plu1959]

Thanks

[Pip]

I've been bringing up candidates for a position here at work to my boss for interviews. These are business attired people. The dark side of me wants me to greet them with, You wore that? Fortunately, I have just enough self control.

[Rich]

"It's time to keep the Minnesota Vikings here so that our children and our grandchildren, yes, can wear purple," said Republican supporter Sen. Geoff Michael.

"Besides," he continued, "'the Los Angeles Vikings' sounds fucking ridiculous."

[Archduke PantsFan]

But "Los Angeles Lakers" makes perfect sense

[Pro Libertate]

Making the awesome symmetry of the possible move all the better. Move the Stars from Dallas to Los Angeles as well.

[Joe M]

They've been dead to me ever since they lost the "North" part.

[Pro Libertate]

Well, it'd have been pretty silly to call them North anything when they moved from Minneapolis to Dallas.

[Pip]

North Dallas Forty???

[Pro Libertate]

That's fiction, man! I mean, come on, Nick Nolte as a wide receiver? To say nothing of Mac Davis as a quarterback.

[Zeb]

North Meixco?

[Ted S.]

I call them the South Stars.

[Aresen]

I see your cunning plan.

Move every professional sports team to California, then kick CA out of the USA.

[Pro Libertate]

Almost. Move them all to LA.

[Aresen]

Then start the Earthquake Machine?

[Pro Libertate]

Did I reveal this cunning plan before?

[Groovus Maximus]

Yes, you have. Or did you forget that one night in Bangkok? Which you probably did. Insensitive bitch.

[Ted S.]

One night in Bangkok and the tough guys crumble;
Not much between despair and ecstasy;
I can feel the devil walking next to me.

[robc]

Nothing is as silly as "Utah Jazz".

[Rich]

Dare to be a Blue Hen!

[BakedPenguin]

A Delaware University mascot? they should have chosen 'corporate lawyer' as a theme. "The UD Mouthpieces" or "Delaware University Battling Barristers!"

[Xenocles]

That's Fighting Blue Hen!

Or, as we said when playing them, "Fear the Chicken."

[Pro Libertate]

Why? Vikings were usually near the coast. And Minnesota is far less Scandinavian than they'd have you believe. They're much more Nazi. I mean German.

[plu1959]

The Minnesota Brownshirts!

[Pro Libertate]

Why not call them the Nazis? Sure, the Nazis were awful, but the Vikings weren't nice people, either.

[End Child Unemployment]

They're more well known for their rape and plunder, but they also engaged in a lot of trade. Given that most people's national sport at the time was rape and plunder I consider them lawful neutral.

[Pro Libertate]

Look, the point is to be tough. Have a tough name. "Jazz" for instance, is a pussy name. So is "Magic." Vikings is good, but if they lose the team, then Nazis seems pretty scary.

[Rich]

The Minnesota Mofos!

[Aresen]

The Minnesota Cthulu?

[Aresen]

Sorry, I forgot.

That name is already in use by the Teachers' Union.

[Anacreon]

If you believe Garrison Keillor, everyone in Minnesota is a Norwegian Lutheran who likes to ice fish. The only Nazis he knows of are the people who vote (R).

[Pro Libertate]

He's a damned liar. St. Paul is practically all Kraut.

[Pope Jimbo]

St. Paul is where our Micks are stored.

The central and south of MN is all Kraut. The northern parts are Norwegian and then the Iron Range is all slavic.

[Zeb]

I'm a bit ashamed to admit it, but I do listen to Keillor from time to time on purpose and he does acknowledge the existence of Germans and Polish Catholics as well. Even in his imaginary town.

[Pro Libertate]

When I lived there, I learned the truth. Demographically, they're more German than anything else. That's true for most of the country, I think, too, which is surprising.

[Zeb]

Most of the midwest, certainly. Until surprisingly not long ago German was the second most common first language in the US.

[Pip]

I wouldn't shit in Garrison Keillor's mouth even if he were starving.

[Aresen]

Now that the Vikings are pacified, they will be easy pickings for the Kievan Rus.

[Pro Libertate]

I thought the Rus were Vikings.

[Aresen]

They were.

But don't tell Putin.

[Pro Libertate]

I just saw Putin score a goal in hockey. He's like the best dictator ever.

[Groovus Maximus]

In Soviet Russia, Putin pucks YOU!

/Yakov

[End Child Unemployment]

According to the primary chronicle, the native russians kicked the varangians out, promptly went to war amongst themselves, and then asked the varangians to come back and rule over them so they could have peace.

*eyeroll*

Suuuuuure.

[Aresen]

Well, the Brits did it with the House of Hannover.

[Pro Libertate]

Yep, that queen of theirs? German. Bunch of Germans running the UK.

[robc]

Scotch-German.

They are all descendents of James I too.

[Pro Libertate]

Scotch-German? You mean they're alcoholics?

I'm mostly Scot-German myself, which makes me upset that I'm not ruling the UK.

[robc]

which makes me upset that I'm not ruling the UK.

Are you on this list? If so, you have a chance.

[Pro Libertate]

Huh. I may actually be related to someone on that list, though quite distantly. Good, where do I sign up?

[robc]

According to the documentary "King Ralph", you need to arrange an accident that kills them all at once.

[Pro Libertate]

Actually, as BP already knows, I really only want to be King of Scotland, as is my right.

[rac3rx]

New rules of succession enacted yesterday:
1. First born daughters are now heirs, even if there are sons.
2. Catholics are no longer excluded.

[robc]

Not enacted yet. Parliament still has to consider it and etc.

[robc]

Just about everything I know about the British royal family:

James had a daughter Elizabeth who he married off to some German Elector. They became the Winter King and Queen of Bohemia. In exile, Elizabeth had ~847 children, one of which, Sophie, married into the Hanovers.

The Law of Succession requires that all future Kings and Queens of England be protestant descendants of Sophie.

[Pro Libertate]

847 children? That's a busy woman. In any case, I thought their Stuart blood was pretty diluted. It was their Protestantism that made them appealing.

[robc]

Wikipedia says only 13. Close enough.

[Groovus Maximus]

She was the inspiration for the Olde Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.

[robc]

No more diluted than the ones who spoke English.

Sophie was James' grandkid. As was Charles II and James II.

They just had a male Stuart in between.

[Pro Libertate]

Well, then, Scot-German it is! I like that the English are under the thumb of two countries they have had trouble with historically. All they need is to add some more French.

[Mickey Rat]

What do you mean "add"? A Francophile Viking bastard is the root of the British Royal family tree.

[robc]

What with all the raping, isnt everyone in Europe a Viking?

[Pro Libertate]

If you're of British descent, you're almost certainly part Viking. So most Americans are Vikings.

[General Butt Naked]

If you're of British descent, you're almost certainly part Viking.

So then Viking ancestry is more a point of shame than of pride?

[Pro Libertate]

No, the Viking part is great. And you can get that from different lineages. Normans were French Vikings, the Rus were Russian Vikings, and, of course, Scandinavians are all Vikings.

[Mickey Rat]

Technically, all Vikings were Scandinavians. "Viking" was not an ethnicity, it was what medieval Danes did for fun and profit.

[Aresen]

The Vikings were approximately 40 generations back. With the number of ancestors doubling in each generation, you have 1,099,511,627,776 great^38 grand parents.

As the population of Europe was around 50 million at the time, every person back then is your ancestor through about 20,000 lines of descent. (Unless you are Royalty. In which case you have 3 ancestors with 1,099,511,627,776
/3 inbred connections.)

[Pro Libertate]

So the Vikings have already won.

[robc]

Ive seen it said that if you were alive 3000? years ago and you have any descendents still alive, you have ~6 billion (or is it 7 now?) still alive.

2000 years if you lived in the Middle East.

[Anacreon]

If you claim ancestors from 40 generations back, you must be Elizabeth Warren.

[VG Zaytsev]

Grammy had a long wild beard, like all the nordic raiders do.

[Archduke PantsFan]

A reader writes:

[Archduke PantsFan]

A reader writes:

Recently, at a party I flipped out on my dear friend and roommate. He, once again, had introduced me as 'his gay roommate.'
I am out and proud, but my sexuality is not 100 per cent of my identity and I really hate being introduced as 'the gay guy.'

[Archduke PantsFan]

http://www.theglobeandmail.com.....le2142041/

[Archduke PantsFan]

LINKY

[Archduke PantsFan]

Squirrels won't let me post the link
http://www.theglobeandmail.com.....le2142041/

[Aresen]

According to modern etiquette, his friend should have introduced him as either "The guy I buttf*ck" or "My insignificant other."

[Archduke PantsFan]

Here's the linky

[Fluffy]

"This is my roommate, the oversensitive douchebag" sounds like a nice compromise.

[Groovus Maximus]

Needz maor pearl clutching.

[Rich]

Reminds me of the guy who used to introduce people to "his first wife".

[R C Dean]

I've introduced Mrs. Dean as my last wife.

She doesn't seem to mind. Its true, too. We both know I wouldn't survive the end of our marriage.

[Rich]

"You know why men so often die before their wives?

Because they CAN!"

[T]

My stock comment on divorce is that neither me nor my wife is psychologically suited for divorce. Either one of us would be happy to walk away from this marriage with nothing, as long as the other one left with less.

Plus, she's meaner than me when roused, and a lawyer. I don't like my chances.

[Fist of Etiquette]

My roommate has always been accepting and supportive of me.

And how else is he going to get credit for being progressive if he doesn't announce it right off the bat?

[Pi Guy]

Some of my best beers are dark!!

[R C Dean]

Odds are, if he wasn't "celebrated" as a gay guy, he'd take offense at that.

You can't win with some people. And he sounds like one of them.

[Groovus Maximus]

RC, are you seriously suggesting that there are people out there who want their cake and eat it too? Pure bunk! You are daft, daft I say!

[Killazontherun]

Nothing wrong with a little etiquette in public. The roommate needs to be supportive by being complimentary.

'This is my roommate. He's cute, but we're not fucking.'

[Archduke PantsFan]

The Linky for this (stupid squirrels)

[Archduke PantsFan]

http://www.theglobeandmail.com.....le2142041/

[Archduke PantsFan]

Squirrels won't let me post the link!

[Pip]

They hate teh gays.

[Archduke PantsFan]

Here's the linky

[Rich]

Get at the root of the problem
....
Phil Little, Ladysmith, B.C.

You can't fool *me*, Archduke. That's from The Onion.

[Archduke PantsFan]

Ladysmith is a town located on the 49th parallel on the east coast of Vancouver Island British Columbia, Canada.

[Aresen]

About 80 klicks from where I sit (by road - 50 klicks in a minimum geodesic.

[Pro Libertate]

Look, dude, the metric system is illegal in the United States.

[Zeb]

Yeah. What are you, some sort of French Communist?

[Pi Guy]

I consider myself a conscientiously objecting, civilly disobedient Metricite.

** Meters and grams, damn it! ** (one kilpardon for the outburst)

Then again, I've always been a bit of a rebel.

[Archduke PantsFan]

But in the end it's still a British Car

[Archduke PantsFan]

But in the end, it's still a British car.

[Archduke PantsFan]

But it's still a British car.

[Raston Bot]

Mr Larkin - who trained as a US Navy Seal - runs a company teaching combat to military and law enforcement clients in the United States.

WTF does that mean? Trained as a Navy SEAL. Was he a SEAL or no?

[Pip]

No, he did it himself at home. But he trained as a Navy SEAL would.

[R]

He probably rang the bell.

[Archduke PantsFan]

Damage in Avengers Would Total $160 Billion in Real Life
http://dsc.discovery.com/life/.....pgn=twdsc2

[Hugh Akston]

The Avengers Initiative was always more about stimulus than saving the world.

[Pro Libertate]

Broken windows for the win!

[Hugh Akston]

It's also no coincidence that several NYC-based construction companies are subsidiaries of Stark Industries.

[A Serious Man]

That's why Krugman's favorite comic book is Watchmen. Ozymandias is basically a Keyensian superhero!

[Scott S.]

That's why there's "Damage Control": http://bit.ly/A0YKK

[Eduard van Haalen]

lol u got that right, lol!!

http://www.totallymadeuplink.com

[Robert]

Do you want hot links and other Reason goodies delivered

No, I want a Hit & Run that doesn't download the entire WWW and then go looking in Gopher space for more before allowing me to scroll or crashing my browser, whichever comes 1st.

[Pi Guy]

And the freaking smart/dumb tags drives me crazy!