Park Ranger Shoots Man With Stun Gun for Walking Dogs Without a Leash


In the back, no less, according to witnesses.

In fairness, the lapdog-walking perp was not carrying a legal ID, and allegedly did not give the park ranger his real name. For which he was "arrested on suspicion of failing to obey a lawful order, having dogs off-leash and knowingly providing false information," in addition to being electro-shocked from behind. Also, walking dogs without a leash in that location was perfectly legal until last month.

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  1. “The ranger was trying to educate residents of the rule,

    Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/…..z1l3aRjlQQ

    Lesson learned!

    1. What happened to the dogs?

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  2. Ignorance of the law is no excuse! If he didn’t want go get in trouble, he should have kept abreast of the rules in that location.

    1. It’s not like they weren’t on display at the local ranger station (in a locked chest at the top of a lookout tower with no ladder).

      1. Nice.

      2. C’mon, man, on display on the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying “Beware of the Leopard.”

        1. This.

  3. As long as the dog is OK

    1. Yeah. Why are no dogs being shot these days, and does it have anything to do with Balko leaving?

      1. Huffpo is silencing him with a salary and cushy expense account that includes season passes to Gaylord Opryland.

        1. Why did Balko leave?

          For the same reason Lassie needs to go

      2. Plenty of dogs are being shot, believe me. Check out the FB page “Mr. Policeman, Don’t Shoot My Dog.” I get about a story a day, sometimes multiple stories, of dogs being shot by cops.

      3. Plenty of dogs are being shot these days.

        Just check out his blog, and a couple of times a month there they are.

      4. At least around where I live the cops are occasionally punished for killing dogs.

        1. That is the first example of a cop getting in trouble for that I have ever seen. Bravo.

  4. He didn’t taze the dogs?!?!?! Progress!

    1. Many dogs care more about their owners than themselves, so this is worse. The cops are using psychological warfare on dogs now by punishing those they love to get to them!

      1. ^^This. My dogs would (and have) jumped into potential harm’s way to get between me and a threat. This dog was horrified.

        Now the only humane thing to do is to have a conventional SWAT team come put him down.

        1. The poor guy should have used a light saber like this Wacko. Apparently it’s the best defense against Tasers as well as lasers.

          1. According to police, by the time officers arrived three people had been assaulted by a man brandishing the toy.

            At least the wounds would be cauterized.

    2. He didn’t taze the dogs?

      The park ranger is a she. EVEN MORE PROGRESS!!!!

      1. Maybe she felt micro-agressed?

        1. I thought that was a prerequisite to live in the bay area. Or is that Bay Area? Fuck, I may have micro-agressed someone…

          1. I wouldn’t be too othered by it.

  5. To be fair…the people need to start tazing the cops when they violate unimportant laws.

  6. OT: Hey, John, now defend this guy

    Sure, he fed elementary school kids semen and took pictures, but we probably shouldn’t be so hasty as to fire him.

    1. Was it donkey semen? Cause that’s prime-time entertainment.

    2. I am filled with rage now.

      1. Hey, that’s my gig.

    3. Wow! How did he pull this off without parents finding out?

      I make it a point to talk to the kids about school every day. I’m sure that there are enough parents like me that some kid would have answered a the question “what was the most interesting thing that you did or learned at school today?” with “Today our teacher tied us up and put bugs on us!”

      1. Right. If there weren’t photographs, I would have assumed this was some sort of community hysteria story, like the alleged Satan-worshiping pre-school teachers in the late 1980s.

        1. Photographs, and semen covered props discovered in his fucking classroom.

          On the plus side, I’m bookmarking this shit for any debate with my wife about homeschooling.

          1. Erm – you think this is representative of what goes on in public schools?

            Left-wing, hand-wringing, pantywaisted re-interpretation of American history maybe, yes. But this nonsense? Not so much.

            1. “Erm – you think this is representative of what goes on in public schools?”


            2. No, but the rules for arguing with women allow emotional manipulation and logical fallacies.

              1. No, but the rules for arguing with women allow emotional manipulation and logical fallacies.

                That is today’s winner, ladies and gentlemen.

      2. Not to speak up in John’s place, but “taking pictures of kids in bondage and eating semen” is a little different from “oggling girls’ butts”, both in scope and in the ability to prove it.

      3. Wow! How did he pull this off without parents finding out?

        I wondered that myself, but I had a hunch, so I looked up the school on the Internet. According to their website, their student population is about 98% Hispanic.

        Talking to kids, especially about school, is a very White middle-class behavior.

    4. Baaaarrrrfffffff!!!!

    5. “A blue plastic spoon”

      Blue? BLUE???

      FUCK THE PATRIARCHY!!!!!111!

    6. I can’t and won’t. But if the union contract keeps him from being fired, so be it. Maybe him being back teaching will cause people to question the contract.

      1. Well, technically he was already fired. I’m just giving you shit because of yesterday.

    7. The investigation began when a film processor gave authorities some 40 photographs depicting blindfolded children in a classroom with their mouths taped shut.

      How the fuck has a guy that does this kind of shit not learned to use digital yet?

      Fucking amateur.

  7. I can only presume at this point is that The Onion is the result of a time travel project, that has been underway for some time now.

    We’re just now being fed the punchlines.

  8. I’m having trouble believing this isn’t an Onion article. It seriously defies belief that anyone can be this fucking dumb.

    1. It seriously defies belief that anyone can be this fucking dumb.

      I’m thinking “raging hormonal influence.”

      Unless you meant Hesterberg, if that’s really his name.

    2. Never question the heights (depths?) of stupidity. It knows no bounds.

  9. The essential feature of government is the enforcement of its decrees by beating, killing, and imprisoning – Ludwig von Mises

  10. Is there some sort of shortage on tar & feathers? What will we tolerate next, librarians tasering for overdue books or loud coughing?

    1. I might be ok with tasing for sniffling. That shit’s disgusting while you’re eating lunch.

      1. And at classical music concerts.

        Tase ’em between movements.

    2. Open-mouth gum chewers (which is most of them). Tase the shite outta them.

      1. +100000000000. If I had a taser my kids would be shocked more than Frankenstein’s monster.

        1. *knock, knock*

    3. I think I might well prefer the taser to tar and feathers, myself.

      As long as we are listing people we would like to taser, I’ll say that I would be happy to taser people who take dogs places where dogs are explicitly forbidden (such as on a number of hiking trails near where I live). After asking nicely first, of course. Some dog owners are worse than obnoxious cyclists in their sense of entitlement.

      1. You can’t be serious. NO ONE is worse than obnoxious cyclists in their sense of entitlement.

  11. One of these days, a failed taser attack by some jumped-up security guard is going to draw a lethal response.

    1. I’m sure the successful ones already have, we just don’t get to hear about it.

      I can see a situation where some gangsta’s homie gets tazed and his homies get his back.

    2. I’m sure it does: and the hero cop who died defending society against the threat of deranged cop-killers get a nice funeral ride, with police blocking traffic and hagiographies being broadcast in the evening news.

      The police have a propaganda arm that would make Goebbels weep with envy.

  12. Thank god we have such brave law enforcement officers out there keeping the universe safe and orderly for the rest of us.

  13. lol, dude is like Whos your Daddy! rotfl!


  14. The poor guy should have used a light saber like this Wacko. Apparently it’s the best defense against Tasers as well as Lasers.

  15. suspicion of failing to obey a lawful order


    1. Yeah, I noticed that too. “We SUSPECT he failed to obey a lawful order.” In this case, the order being, “stop walking away so I can assault you!”

  16. If light sabres are an effective defense against electro-torture, they must be banned. Henceforth, openly carrying a light sabre will be a capital offense, with sentence to take immediate effect.

  17. I’m going to keep bringing this up in every taser story until someone comments… 🙂


    It’s got trannies and tasers… what’s not to like?

    1. That’s pretty awesome. Why was the tranny opposed to her arrest? Something about fighting for liberty, or standing up against discrimination? Nope: didn’t want to muss the tit job.

      [she wasn’t going to lie down in the dirt because] “I’ve got plenty of money invested in myself in the area of $65,000 worth of plastic surgery, braces and other things that are important to me.”

      So, why was the BLM ranger interested?

      Fantelli said the ranger first accused some in her group of taking nude pictures in the desert.

      What turned this feel-good pron story line into a tragedy?

      Fantelli’s ID dates to when she was still a man, and Fantelli said once the ranger saw that, everything changed.. . . She said after being stunned, the ranger switched from referring to her as “ma’am” and “miss” to “sir” and “dude.”

      Gratuitous dickishness?

      the ranger used his Taser on her again, this time in her genitalia

      And finally, what jurisdiction was this?

      Imperial County

    2. Fuck. It can’t be said too many times. Police need to lose any kind of immunity in cases like this.

  18. “Respect mah authoritah” is fun Yogi! Now the park is safe from the tourists, I mean terrists

    1. You mean terrierists

  19. not carrying a legal ID, and allegedly did not give the park ranger his real name.

    Ihre Papieren, bitte.

    1. This. In spades.

      It used to be how we knew the difference between the good guys (us) and the bad guys (people who did this shit).

  20. In fairness, the lapdog-walking perp was not carrying a legal ID, and allegedly did not give the park ranger his real name.

    I’d like to advance the apparently radical notion that, in a free society, one need not carry State-issued identification at all times. Nor must one speak on demand, nor always tell the truth.

    1. When I am not planning on driving or drinking in public, I try to leave my ID at home.

  21. I can totally sympathize. You know, it’s so much easier to taze someone than to write him a citation for having his dogs off leash. You’ve gotta fumble around for a pen, then make sure you brought the ticket pad with you, then make sure you get the metal clipboard under the triplicate pages of the ticket so your writing doesn’t press through more than one ticket and ruin the next one…so inconvenient.

  22. I won’t cry if that bitch gets eaten by an off-leash bear… pathetic, but typical of halfwits with badges.

  23. Here in Louisiana the game wardens and park rangers get special status as fuck-wits. We call them Possum Cops. They are usually the retarded son of some politician’s brother in law; i.e. politically connected but too stupid to be a regular cop.

  24. Only sort of related. Back when I lived in New York I was fishing in small lake with my dog in my canoe with a trolling motor. That day, unfortunately, there was conservation officer going around in a boat making sure everybody was obeying the law. So he pulls up next to me and I greet him cordially and he inspects my craft and he decides he needs to give me a citation for not having a wearable floatation device, the law having recently change to require that all boat occupants must have a wearable flotation device available to them. Now, he could have said to me “Hey, maybe you didn’t know this, but now your are required to have a wearable flotation device with you.”, instead, he thought it nobler to serve as an extortionist for the state and steal $50.00 from me. Total fucking asshole. Sort of confirmed the notion that there really are no good cops. Not to mention the cops who are perfectly content to steal fifty bucks from citizens who choose not to wear their safety belts. Any cop who does this is an asshole in my view.

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