Corporate Welfare

"They about had an orgasm in Biden's office when we mentioned Solyndra"


Biden's office had an orgasm over Solyndra.

Newly released Solyndra emails reveal that our nation's destiny is in the hands of men who use the Comic Sans font in email. 

The exchanges between George Kaiser, a billionaire donor/bundler for President Obama, and Solyndra board member Steve Mitchell, manager of Kaiser's Argonaut Private Equity fund, also seem to contradict claims – made  by both Kaiser and the White House – that Kaiser had never discussed Solyndra with Obama Administration officials. 

The series of emails [pdf] released by the House Committee on Energy and Commerce reveal that Kaiser at the very least had or believed he had an intimate understanding of executive branch thinking on Solyndra.

Kaiser's advice to Mitchell and Ken Levit, executive director of the Kaiser Family Foundation, includes suggestions on how to handle White House staffers as well as the Department of Defense (where RockPort Capital's David Prend tried to pressure the U.S. Navy to buy Solyndra panels) and the Department of Energy. 

Solyndra panels + white roof = 30% tax rebate.

Mitchell describes departed Energy Department loan official Jonathan Silver as having "championed the cause" for giving companies in Solyndra's position second taxpayer-guaranteed loans in a March 2010 email. In the same message, Mitchell says Secretary of Energy Steven Chu is "apparently staying involved in Solyndra's application and continues to talk up  the company as a success story." 

As for the claim that Kaiser had not discussed Solyndra with administration figures, that seems to be contradicted by the following portion of a March 5, 2010 email from Kaiser to Mitchell, Levet and at least two other recipients whose names have been redacted: 

BTW, a couple of weeks ago, when Ken and I were visiting with a group of Administration folks in DC who are in charge of the stimulus process (White House, not DOE) and Solyndra came up, every one of them responded simultaneously about their thorough knowledge of the Solyndra story, suggesting it was one of their prime poster children.

But the takeaway from this release will certainly be Levit's and Mitchell's comments regarding Vice President Joe Biden's staff. Biden staffers are described as "big fans of Solyndra" who are "working on some bill asking for money" and close to experiencing an "orgasm" at the mere mention of the company's name. 

The Obama administration has refused to comply with a House subpoena seeking all Solyndra-related correspondence.

Update: San Jose Mercury News' Dana Hull comes through for the Democrats, with a story that highlights today's late rebuttal from Rep. Henry Waxman (D-California) and Rep. Diane DeGette (D-Colorado) while pushing the "orgasm" and DoD/DoE releases to the bottom of the column. The Merc also posts a larger archive of emails, including one that Hull claims show Kaiser declining to intervene with Obama (about whom Kaiser creepily uses the divinely capitalized pronoun "Him" in one missive [pdf]).

I don't know that anything here strongly supports the claim that Kaiser never discussed Solyndra with his contacts in the Obama Administration, and the scramble for taxpayer largesse [pdf] on display is grotesque. But Waxman and DeGette's 4,000-word letter [pdf] is essential reading for a fuller understanding of the relationships involved. The vigorous counterattacks Democrats have been making actually enhance the Solyndra story. This is a classic case where the real scandal is that none of this stuff seems to have been out of the ordinary. 

NEXT: Writer Reflects on Life As a 1970s Child of "Home-schooling Anarchists"

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  1. Please, please, please can we get a trial and impeachment? Please? Oh, the circus that would be!

    1. I cannot think of a faster way to make sure that the President is re-elected, though.

      1. He’ll have a hard time being re-elected if he’s been impeached, dude.

        1. Technically, the “impeachment” refers to the process of removal. You’re not ousted until you’re convicted.

          1. Don’t try to lawyer me with your lawyer tricks, you ambulance chasing goon.

            1. I’m impeaching you right now.

              1. Oh yeah? Well, I’m impeaching your mom right now.

                1. Oh look, son! He brought pizza!

                  **resumes enjoying empeachment**

                  1. Deep dish, or thin crust?

                    1. You know, I don’t know for sure which my mom prefers. We went out to Gino’s once in Chicago when I lived there, and she liked the pizza we got, but I don’t know that it’s her favorite.

              2. I prefer being imnectarined.

                Ever since I was molested by a sheep, I get episodes when I put my mouth on something fuzzy.

        2. He’d never be convicted, that’s the thing. The media and the “Moderate” block would absolutely lose their minds with America’s First Black President in the dock. They would blame the Tea Party.

          1. No doubt, but the House would have the power to dig up reams of evidence. And I’m pretty sure the evidence is there this time.

            1. What is this “evidence” to which you refer?

              1. That’s not going to work much in an impeachment hearing, if it comes to that.

          2. I blame Bush

      2. Not with a real scandal. The Clinton thing was legitimate enough because of the perjury, but it didn’t involve this kind of corruption.

        I actually think if there were some miracle that got Obama elected, that he’d almost certainly be impeached in his second term. There are plenty of signs that this is the most corrupt administration in quite some time.

    2. Dear Episiarch,

      Are you a parody?
      I swear I cannot tell the difference.


    3. Yes, please. Impeach the fucker. Throw everything on the plate — F&F, Solyndra, the Libya war, whatever. I want the whole administration perp walked. If it triggers a civil war, well, best to get it over with now.

  2. Biden’s office… orgasm… where’s the mental bleach?

  3. Well, now I have to spend the rest of the night trying to separate the words “Biden” and “orgasm” in my head. Ewwww.

    1. Bidengasm! Bidengasm! Bidengasm!

        I wonder if it would be better or worse if I were gay?

      2. Do you think he screams like Howard Dean?

      3. The Joe-OOOOOOOOO face!

  4. What was that promise he made? Something about transparency?

    On another note, this is highly amusing.

  5. The reason the WH was so gonzo on Solyndra was because it was going to generate carbon credits for the cap and trade legislation.

  6. WTF is this bullshit with redacting names from the To/From lines on the email? Isn’t the whole point of this exercise to discover who knew what when, who was trying to influence who, etc?

    1. How else can they avoid accountability? Really, I expect more from you, a Harvard-educated lawyer.

    2. In the email pictured the redacted part is the emailer’s address, not their name.

      1. That pisses me off, too. Why can’t I spam these people?

        1. I would totally get them on the Nigerian prince mugu email list if I could see those addresses!

          1. My carbon sequesteration technology is embargoed by the Nigerian government and Royal Dutch Shell. Please send $200 million so that…

        2. Probably not that hard to guess their email addresses.

    3. I work with a lot of FOIA’d documents. Sometimes, there’s a FOIA exemption where you can redact an official’s name. However, about 50% of the time, the redactor leaves in the email adress, so the result is or some such.

  7. The Obama administration has refused to comply with a House subpoena seeking all Solyndra-related correspondence.

    He’s just trying to save his supporters further embarrassment. It’s for their own good.

  8. WTF is this bullshit with redacting names from the To/From lines on the email?

    The black bars are solar panels.

    It’s just the addresses that are rubbed out, which is dumb because those aren’t secret, but if they were there, right in front of us right now, you know we’d all be sending those guys pictures of Ron Paul’s cock.


  9. Riggs had a picture of Biden “polishing his photovoltaic cell” to the deal just a little while back:

  10. Their refusal to hand over the documents tells me there’s something big in the emails. I’m going to try to not get too excited about this, but as unpopular as Obama is right now, this could be it for him. God knows there’s twenty three Senators praying he’s not on the ticket next year.

    1. So what if he’s reelected, but Republicans retain control of the House and pick up some Senate seats?

      1. He continues running a shadow government through his agencies end-running Congress, and appoints a boatload of lefty/prog judges up and down the judicial food chain.

        That’s what.

      2. The chance of Obama getting reelected next year is zero. No one with his disapproval numbers gets reelected.

        1. I agree completely. He couldn’t have much less of a chance.

          1. I disagree. He has, IMO, roughly a 40-45% chance of being reelected.

            1. You must be predicting an economic recovery. Can you give me a single reason why the Obama economy might recover?

              1. Well, all y’all be sure to enjoy your Intrade winnings, then.

                The most economic deterministic election model out there is Ray Fair’s. It says that Obama should win, but narrowly as of October 2011.

                According to the pure economic prediction model, the economy needs to get worse for Obama’s chances to fall below 50%.

                Fair’s model agrees substantially with Intrade.

                I’d like to know where you’re getting your hypothesis.

                1. Are you aware of the situation in Europe? Is Ray Fair even aware of the situation over there? The shit is hitting the fan and we won’t be unaffected by it. And historically, presidents don’t get reelected when the unemployment rate is over 8%. And this isn’t even counting how many average Americans have had it up to their neck with the divider in chief’s culture wars.

                  1. Are you aware of the situation in Europe? Is Ray Fair even aware of the situation over there? The shit is hitting the fan and we won’t be unaffected by it.

                    Sure, but that’s you predicting that things will get significantly worse and we’ll have a double-dip, not me predicting a recovery.

                    And historically, presidents don’t get reelected when the unemployment rate is over 8%.

                    Except for FDR. Fair’s model works much better than a crude one based on unemployment. Your claim based on unemployment rate is laughable and is unsupported by history or the facts, especially when a better reductionist model is available.

                    For the reasons you stated, however, I think that Fair’s model is over-optimistic, so I lower the chances to 40-45%.

                  2. And historically, presidents don’t get reelected when the unemployment rate is over 8%.

                    This is a totally absurd claim.

                    I don’t believe in reducing everything in Presidential vote share to economics, but if you’re going to do so, Fair’s model works a lot better than just the unemployment rate.

                    FDR was obviously re-elected with a far higher unemployment rate. Reagan won a landslide with a 7.5% unemployment rate, higher than the unemployment rate under Carter. One difference, of course, was the direction from the previous couple of years– something that Ray Fair’s model takes into account.

                    1. Actually, I think it’s going to be Obama’s likability that costs it for him. He’s not the likable guy he seemed to be last time. And most people have figured that out.

            2. If Romney gets the nomination, ugh. How does anyone work up the initiative to go to the polling place and pull either lever? Either one asshole could win 15 votes to 14 votes.

            3. Not to mention he just lost Florida the other day with his remarks about Bibi Netanyahu.

              1. Are we a Jewish state?

                1. If you prick us, do we not bleed?

              2. I’d give him a 60/40 chance to be re-elected. Starts with 95% of the black vote and 2/3 of Hispanics plus 60% of the Jewish no matter what he says about Israel. Then add a majority of blue collar union men, big majority of public sector union people, the huge
                number of clueless folks (like the college student on Leno the other night who couldn’t name one country that borders the U.S.), all those for whom abortion rights is a litmus test,
                those who want their kids to get student loans, students who will be re-energized by 2012 because the demon extremist right is after their guy.
                Already, the Tea Party gets a less favorable rating than the OWS types.
                And, from inside the TP, I see that the wave has already crested – enthusiasm is down, no membership growth, split all over on prez candidates except the majority don’t like Romney and a bunch will sit out the vote just to screw the GOP establishment. Add it all up, mix with demographics in some states that went for mcCain, add in some small unemployment improvement (“See, employment is improving. You don’t want to change leaders now.”) and I can see Obama winning re-election over
                Romney, Newt, or anyone else the left can effectively demonize.

                1. A majority of blue collar union men? There may not be any of those left in twelve months.

            4. That is as long as the economy doesn’t get worse. Considering that the Greece and Italy fiascos, and how China is starting to stumble I am 100% confident that the economy will get worse. The only way the republicans will lose this election is if they royally fuck it up.

              1. I don’t think they can fuck this up. Not unless they run on the “Destroy the Economy” ticket.

                1. Y’all are crazy. Neither the economic-only prediction model of Ray Fair, nor the prediction markets of Intrade remotely agree with you.

                  There is some chance that you’re right, of course, but certainly not based on any historical evidence of economic conditions as it related to vote share.

                  1. No way, no how. He won’t even place.

              2. The only way the republicans will lose this election is if they royally fuck it up.

                So, its a tossup?

              3. The only way the republicans will lose this election is if they royally fuck it up.

                We’re just the guys to do it!

  11. You’re not ousted until you’re convicted.

    And then… the hanging! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

  12. They are going to make a XXX parody of the Solyndra case, right? Right?!

    1. They will make it, and Obama will take credit for creating more green jobs.

  13. “The streets are flooded with the ejaculate of the homeless, and you people are counting on the police?”

    1. Police Clerk: What is this?

      Charlie: That right there is a tale of corruption and intrigue, the likes of which are gonna rock this city.

      Police Clerk: (reading the label) “Spin Doctors Mix”?

      Charlie: No, I taped over the Spin Doctors mix.

      Police Clerk: Sir, I do not have time to listen to your mix tape.

  14. “That’s awesome! Get us a doe loan”

    “They are working on some bill asking for money but I’ve just been getting them dollar numbers so I don’t really know. That process is foreign to me.”

    Amazing how much stupid is going in these few sentences.

  15. “When the Solyndra market crashed, Barack Obama got on the television and didn’t just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed.”

  16. “orgasm”

    Single word quotes are highly suspect.

  17. Joe Biden doesn’t cum. He consults advisers to describe involuntary penile muscle spasms to him, so he can get back to pretending to be human.

    1. Biden staffers are described as “big fucking fans of Solyndra”


  18. [initiate pun]

    You’d have to ask his wife Laura. She can be kind of kinky – not exactly Laura Biden, if you know what I mean.

    [pun complete]

    1. I don’t get it.

      1. I did.


  19. the Comic Sans font

    Surely, this is something we can all despise, communally.
    I am so serious.

    1. I don’t usually support violence as a first resort, but when it comes to Comic Sans in professional emails (“I think I’m fun!”), I think I can be okay with summary execution.

      1. Sorta like, back when notes were hand written, the ones you got with little hearts on them.

    2. It’s the “Gilligan’s Island” of fonts. The critics hate it–the public loves it.

  20. my classmate’s mother makes $87 every hour on the computer. She has been without work for 7 months but last month her income was $7500 just working on the computer for a few hours. Go to this site


      That has to be a SugarFree spoof.

  21. Steve Chu once again shown to be clueless about energy, as I’ve indicated before. Should be teaching high school, or cleaning rest stops.

    1. No, after driving for hours, I expect a spot well cleaned rest stop.

  22. Remove spots as needed.

  23. Here is what really happened. I was there. Solyndra happened to get caught first but they were not the first of the crimes.
    In the waning period of the Bush Administration, The Bush White House saw one last chance to grab a major war-chest of cash before the Democrats took over. George Bush hired Lachlan Seward to re-route part of the money, the part that was going to the Department of Energy. Seward’s instructions were to pass along a portion of the money per an inside deal with the CEO’s of Detroit’s 3 biggest car companies. The 3 CEO’s met together, planned together and hard-wired the money together via Mr. Rattner. A few other people found out about this deal in the transition period and other due-diligence-free inside deals were made to shut them up. Seward hires a secretary and an intern from IBM named Brent Petterson. Brent has orders to set IBM up, under a multiple of names to act as a “car company reviewer”. IBM creates, and then buys, fake consulting companies in order to support the kickback scheme. IBM consulting was ordered to stall, delay, delete, lose, fake results and change test metrics for any applicant who was not tied to Detroit or a White House bundler. Notice IBM was recently fired. Since every company that did get money, now either has: gone bankrupt, had a worthless technology, a Russian mob connection or had no way to compete with the other applicants if those applicants got a chance, this proves that the “due diligence” was fake and for appearances only. Chu directed his people to do no actual due diligence on the chosen few and to hand them money and kill or stall the other competing applicants who didn’t pay-to-play.
    Then the Obama Administration moves in and Steve Rattner, Rahm Emanual, David Axelrod and Robert Gibbs see how the scam is running and they say, “hey, no way”. “We are still going to do the scam but as prizes for our benefactors instead of yours”.
    Venture capital guys from Kleiner, Westley, Khosla and a little group of VC’s say: “Hey Mr. O., you want the big bucks? Put our guy Chu in the top spot and we will guarantee at least $200M”
    The little group of VC’s says to Chu: “Lean it our way and we will fix you up for life after you retire and buy you your own personal reactor”.
    Part way through, Steve Rattner cuts a deal with the 3 Detroit CEO’s to make sure that nobody who can compete with them gets any of the money. Seward creates what is now known as the “stall plan”to keep any other applicant from getting through what every bank in America spends 2 weeks on (DOE has stalled all applicants for years as of now).
    Later in the administration all four are notified that they are under investigation and that the jig is up. Rattner is then indicted in NY for securities fraud and the other 3 mysteriously leave their top-of-your-career jobs for no apparent reason at about the same time because they have been caught and deals have been cut. A turf war begins which only then becomes partisan. Some enforcement groups are trying to protect and some are trying to prosecute. There is a document at the White House called “Overton.2” that is the briefing that the four got that made them run for the hills. At least 25 people have seen “Overton” (it has a couple of names) and copies of it are around. Those four knew this was all coming, and how bad it was going to be, when they quit the White House.
    Now that I know that at least three writers are way down the road on deeply researched books and it is certain that every bad guy in this scheme is going to get caught. I have no problem spilling my short-version story of the scheme.
    So how did people make money: the last two weeks of 60 Minutes gave you part of the story: The insider trading story on 60 minutes was part of it; Abramoff and his step-by-step tips were how the other part worked; The other part was even trickier: the deal packagers took fees off the top of each deal and then walked away with their finder/factoring/incentive/VC or whatever-you-call-it-fee to forget about the company and allow it to languish. Three of the VC guys bet on one of the companies to fail and made margin when they did. Nobody checked on the companies, not DOE, not the bundlers: nobody. So the CEO’s of those companies also stole money because: nobody was watching. That is pretty much it. You will see it all layed out in the books, I have read a clean draft of one of them. This is ten times bigger than Watergate but people from both parties did the crimes!
    T. Insider

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