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Reason Morning Links: Return of the Fugee

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  1. Will Charles Schumer ever do one thing – one single, solitary thing – that will not make me think, “What a fucking dick”?

    1. this is like a koan, right?

      what is the sound of one hand clapping?

    2. I’m thinking no.

    3. “We propose a new law to protect journalists from having to reveal their sources. … Except wikileaks. We’ll prosecute those bastards…”

      Uh, equal protection?

      1. You link to the Constitution as if it has the force of law or something.

    4. Schumer said he and Senate Intelligence Chairwoman Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., are consulting with the newspaper industry…

      Translation: Traditional media is tired of getting scooped by an albino lookin’ dude from Australia.

    5. Lick my lips?

    6. Fluffy, if Chuck committed suicide, my opinion of him might change. That’s the only loophole I can think of, though.

      1. Nope. Suicide’s a dick move to those you leave behind. He’d still be a dick, but he’d finally be finished.

  2. The bill, backed by Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), targets the Mexican border and would be paid for by slapping fees on foreign companies that import workers to the United States from India and other parts of the world.

    Unbelievable. Tax legal immigration to pay for enforcing illegal immigration.

    How is this guy able to look at his face in the mirror every morning?

    1. Schumer : Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the most racist of them all?

    2. So this is another H1-B dis-incentive?

      Arrgh.

      1. It is and that makes it deeply stupid.

        To reiterate: The USA will remain on the top of the heap despite almost any kind of bad policy as long as we remain able to siphon a non-trivial fraction of the smartest, most able, and most motivated people from the rest of the world.

        But stop getting the savant infusion and only good policy can keep us there, which is a problem since we let politicians and voters run the place…

    3. How is this guy able to look at his face in the mirror every morning?

      If he looks down, he gets a view of those massive man-titties. He’s gotta keep looking up.

      1. If he looks down do you think he can see his junk? One day I got out of the shower and realized I couldn’t. Lost 60 lbs and have kept it off–gotta be able to see your own stuff.

        1. Geez I hope that never happens to me. Of course, it’d take a hell of a lot more than 60 pounds to get me into “can’t see my junk” territory….

          1. I guess it depends on how it’s distributed. I carried most of my excess in the middle. If you’ve ever seen a lb. of pure fat tissue you’ll see that 60 of them take up a lot of space!

            1. This sounds a small penis problem as opposed to a weight problem.

              1. Well it’s all realtive. When you are fat it does make everything else look smaller :–(

                1. Doesn’t work for my head, unfortunately.

              2. It’s not about how much you show, it’s about how much you grow.

        2. Pablo, I’d rather not think about that.

          1. Yeah, sorry ’bout that, but whenever I see Schumer it reminds me of that period in my life.

        3. Yeah, ’cause none of the rest of us want to see it. :p

  3. One potential obstacle, according to Eduardo Gamarra, a political science professor at Florida International University, is Jean’s lack of management skills in a country with weak institutions that is in dire need of rebuilding.

    Maybe he’ll take a more hands off approach, shrinking the government, lowering taxes, and removing regulatory hindrances, in an effort to let the country heal itself.

    Ya think?

    1. I saw him talking on BBC America today, and he was saying that the inability to read and write is modern day slavery and that Haiti needs to start producing its own goods instead of importing most things. So to answer your question, no.

      1. Ah, shit. Not surprising, but sad. Property rights? Rule of law? Fuck that shit. Let’s make our country more wealthy by forcing people to pass more for things that we can’t make well in our own country.

        1. Quick! Someone mail him a textbook about comparative advantage.

          1. Here’s a great one — short, and a free PDF too!

            The Guatemalan author just died.

        2. “by forcing people to pay more for things…”

    2. Well, his “hips don’t lie”, atleast when he’s with Shakira.

      1. I was just reading those lyrics to see if there’s anything relevant. I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure it’s Shakira’s hips that don’t lie.

        1. I think “Shakira” is mexican-talk for “most bangable human on the fucking planet.”

          Hope that adds to the discussion.

          1. Venezuelan-talk, I believe. The Mexican for that is “Salma Hayek”.

            1. Colombian, it’s really sad that I know that.

              1. They speak Mexican there.

                1. Oh, so it’s kind of like England and Canada, where they speak American?

              2. Like Salma, she’s half Lebanese.

        2. Running mate then?

          1. Yeah

            Colombians and Haitians
            I ain’t guilty, it’s a musical transaction
            No more do we snatch ropes
            Refugees run the seas ’cause we own our own boats

    3. Hector Mountain Dew Camacho? Or something like that.

  4. Neo-Nazis lose custody of Adolf Hitler:

    “Both parents .. suffer from unspecified physical and psychological disabilities”

    Yes. (Not too wild about the ruling.)

    1. Also here:

      http://www.nj.com/news/index.s…..s_rig.html

      So, now Nazis are not allowed to have children. Wasn’t it the Nazis who tried to prevent Jews from having children? Paybacks are a bitch.

      1. If the kids were named Josef Stalin or Yassir Arafat, Franklin Delano Roosivelt, or Keith Olbermann the bureaucrats wouldn’t have a problem.

          1. Passed a guy mopping floors at the supermarket last week, big nametag: ARAFAT. Bless them hardworking immigrants but that was disturbing.

            1. At least it wasn’t Olbermann.

        1. Good morning Suki

        2. If I ever saw a child named “Keith Olbermann,” I would hug them, hug them, and hug them some more.

          1. If the name didn’t mess her up, that would.

        3. You laugh, but I used to work for a Palestinian guy who named his son “Yasser Arafat”. Kid was a brat.

      2. Wasn’t it the Nazis who tried to prevent Jews from having children?

        They tried to keep gays from having children too.

    2. Great article IRT here:

      http://www.popehat.com/2010/08…..-metaphor/

      1. Nice. Anyone who has ever had dealings with DYFS in NJ knows that they are a bunch of Nazis.

  5. Pension fund fails, months after City manager retires, everybody surprised.

    http://www.burlingtonfreepress…..disclosure

    1. SOUTH BURLINGTON ? South Burlington officials are grappling with potential service cutbacks, layoffs and tax increases in the wake of Wednesday’s public disclosure of its “seriously under-funded” pension plan.

      Looking back, they are wondering how municipal investments went wrong, and why administrators kept the City Council in the dark about shortfalls that apparently began in 2005, if not earlier.

      Read more: http://www.burlingtonfreepress…..z0vpUA4MDu

      1. This makes me laugh, except for the fact that the state government will probably bail these douches out.

        1. Yeah, but it’s Vermont, so that’s a double laugh.

          1. Bernie Sanders turf. The State is like 120-150 million bucks in the red, so there’ll be no State bailout.
            BTW in Vermont 100 million bucks is like 20 Billion in California.

            1. Meh, the state government is not that badly run. They have maintained the rainy day fund in the budget all through the recession. Unemployment in Vermont is under 7%, so they don’t have a lot of unusual recession-related costs.

              They’ve been using federal money to offer absurdly generous insurance premium assistance and direct coverage for people without health insurance. When the federal money runs out they’ll just dial that back again and the budget will be OK. Most of the people in the program are secretly self-employed people scarfing up a subsidy anyway.

              I was actually amused that when talking about closing the budget gap for next year the gubernatorial candidates all seemed to agree that one good way to do that was just to open up the prison doors and let all the nonviolent drug offenders go.

              1. Yes but the Dems want “universal Pre-K” in return. Grab your ass.

                1. Gotta get those kids into the indoctrination machine before the age of five, Tim. Time’s a-wastin’!

              2. I really wonder what the effect of emigration is on the state’s unemployment rate. From my observations, that’s the route for about 60-70% of young adults. Personally, in another two weeks I’m leaving the state because there was 1 job in the state that I could get an interview for with my engineering degree.

  6. Texas Defies EPA on Regulation of Greenhouse Gases
    …But Texas Commission on Environmental Quality Chairman Bryan Shaw and Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott (R) blasted EPA for unlawfully attempting to force states to “pledge allegiance to its rules.” The dispute marks the latest in a series of altercations between the Obama EPA and Texas as federal officials have moved to overhaul the state’s air permitting program.

    “In order to deter challenges to your plan for centralized control of industrial development through the issuance of permits for greenhouse gases, you have called upon each state to declare its allegiance to the Environmental Protection Agency’s recently enacted greenhouse gas regulations — regulations that are plainly contrary to United States law,” the officials wrote in a letter (pdf) sent Monday to EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson and EPA’s Dallas-based Region 6 Administrator Al Armendariz.

    “On behalf of the state of Texas, we write to inform you that Texas has neither the authority nor the intention of interpreting, ignoring, or amending its laws in order to compel the permitting of greenhouse gas emissions,” the Texas officials say…

    1. The citizens of region 6 must be quite proud.

      1. We are. The EPA has gone quite mad.

        1. Don’t mess with Region 6!
          Not much of a ring to it, but it will help quell your cowboy antics.

          1. Please tell me we get to play cowboys and bureaucrats. I’ll move back tomorrow.

    2. SCOTUS is going to get an absurd amount of 10A challenges over the next few years.

      Anyone want to bet they side with the states? Didn’t think so.

    3. Don’t mess with Texas.

      1. You mean Region 6. Get with the program.

    4. god bless Texas

  7. check out the comments on the Romer article.

    multiple calls for the Krugmeister as her replacement.

    1. Here’s my favorite one:

      “Paul Krugman would be a dynamite replacement and a good counter weight to Summers.”

      Yep…..pretty good “counter” to Summers. You can’t make this stuff up.

  8. A frustrated Christina Romer plans to resign as chair of the Council of Economic Advisors

    One of the pundits on Morning Joe this morning called Romer “one of the Administration’s big faces.” There were audible snickers off-camera.

    1. She does have a big face. She looks like the kind of woman with cankles that begin just below her ears.

      1. aaarrrrg!!! My eyes! My beautiful eyes!!!

      2. But she’s jolly, and that’s important for an economist/propagandist.

      3. That’s not a woman. That’s Jonathan Winters in drag. Where’s the real Christina Romer?

        1. Stuck (literally) in a booth at I-Hop?

          1. She has escaped! And she just told MSNBC that her reason for leaving is (wait for it) she wants to spend more time with her family! Also, everything is fine with the economy, and we’re making “headway.”

      4. Wow! That’s a real multiplier effect.

  9. multiple calls for the Krugmeister as her replacement.

    They haven’t heard yet that Mao Xinyu wants to “get into politics.”

  10. This article seemed to me highly apropos for this forum:

    My Facts Matter, but Your ‘Facts’ Are Irrelevant

    1. I read the article, and I agree, Obama is a closet Muslim.

        1. That’s what the man said. Allah u akbar.

    2. Good article, and unfortunately, not surprising.

    1. His twist on that looks like he is trying to work for Pat Buchanan next.

    2. Actually wasn’t a bad article until the last graf. Weigel is doomed to self-destruction, I’m afraid.

      1. He just can’t fake it like he used to. Did he ever fake it well?

        1. No. He is last year’s dog shit.

    3. The fellow has never been stung by a wasp I take it. They don’t die after stinging. Bees, yes. Wasps, definitely not.

      1. “Here, Sen. Graham has history on his side. A popular, and correct, aphorism about grass-roots movements is that they act like wasps — they sting, then die.”

        ROFLMAO! I missed that the first time. Thanks!

      2. Thanks, I was gonna comment on that.

      3. I saw that. Thank god my forehead recovered last night. The beating is starting early today.

      4. “5. Here, Sen. Graham has history on his side. A popular, and correct, aphorism about grass-roots movements is that they act like bees — they sting, then die.”

        Heh. He fixed it.

        Speaking of wasps, those tarantula hawks are wicked. We’ve have them in our backyard and it’s quite the macabre scene. If only one could do the same to Graham, and Schumer, and Krugman, and…

      5. It says “bees” now. Some clever copy editor must have just caught it.

        1. Even then its only certain types of bees. Bumble bees don’t lose their stinger when they sting because it doesn’t get caught in the skin, so they live on.

          Poor analogy skills for Mr. Weigel.

      6. Any wasps that sting me die immediately afterwards. Well, actually not immediately — I try to make it slow and painful so the others get the message not to fuck with the Tulpa.

    4. It’s quite apparent at this point that the Washington Post was lying for public relations purposes when they put out the impression that they “fired” him. They obviously just told him to lay low for a couple of weeks until everything simmered down.

      It’s truly pathetic what “journolism” in America has come to.

    5. The first modern tea party events occurred in December 2007, long before Barack Obama took office, and they were organized by supporters of Rep. Ron Paul (R-Tex.) to raise money for his long-shot presidential bid.

      The tea parties were kicked off by CNBC reporter Rick Santelli’s rant about

      These can’t both be true.

      1. There was a “Tea Party Money Bomb” for Ron Paul’s campaign that was held on the anniversary of the Boston Tea Party in Dec 2007. But, later moneybombs on MLK Day and such didn’t reference the Tea Party at all, so it really wasn’t part of the later Tea Party Movement, though there’s enough overlap between Paul supporters and the early Tea Partiers that I can see how Weigal would confuse the two.

  11. There’s no way Krugman will take the post AND no way it would ever even be offered.

    Krugman is a prima donna bitch and the last thing Obama would want is having him hanging around whining to the press about how nobody listens to him.

    He’s also made it abundantly clear that the sole extent of the advice he wants to offer is “Spend two trillion more bucks on stimulus and who cares about the deficit” which is advice Obama has no way to take. He could never pass a Krugstravaganza stimulus plan in a billion years and would only embarrass himself if he offered it to the Congress.

    1. That’s okay; I’m sure there is an ample supply of Keynesian “economists” who are sufficiently sycophantic to serve His Grace.

    2. Of course he won’t take it. You think he didn’t learn his lesson after consulting for the Indonesians when they went tits up? Bloviation pays just as well and has fewer downside consequences.

    3. Krugasaurus Rex.

      1. Krugmadinejad!

        1. Krugmonicon.

          1. I loved Jack Krugman. Quincy, M.E. was a fun show to watch.

    4. But Obama would have another Nobel Cabinet member he could crow about.

      Speaking of crow, I look forward to watching him eat it come November 4.

    5. He won’t have the control. He’s much happier sitting on the side making absurd arguments and then saying I told you so when his absurd arguments do or don’t come true.

      Come to think of it he would be perfect.

    6. Krugabepalooza?

        1. Krugviethen

          1. Kruggernaut

          2. Backrugmangesicht

        2. Krugnarock

  12. The commenters on that Romer thing are fucking geniuses.

    The person who said this:
    Yes, she is way too good for such a corrupt government – I’ve ended up joining the Working Families Party in Oregon – i reach my end after voting for Democrats 50 years, their economic theories are bunk. We need a peoples party to pull us back from the brink.

    was referred to as a “right wing troll”.

    1. We have a “Working Families” Party in New York, and it’s bascially an arm of one of the government sector “labor” unions. (CSEA, I think, but don’t hold me to it.)

    2. From Wikipedia:

      New York’s Working Families Party was first organized in 1998 by a coalition of labor unions, ACORN and other community organizations, members of the now-inactive national New Party, and a variety of public interest groups such as Citizen Action of New York. The party blends a culture of political organizing with unionism, 1960s idealism, and tactical pragmatism. The party’s main issue concerns are jobs, health care, education and energy/environment.

      Yeah, sounds like a real right-wing party. Of course, with a name like “Working People’s Party” I half-expected it to be full-on Communist.

  13. According to this map, there is a big bubble of “!USG” near Dallas. Whatever the Hell !USG is…

    http://www.airnow.gov/index.cfm?action=airnow.main

    1. “U.S. Government.” Consider yourself forewarned.

  14. The labor Secretary is a babbling idiot.

    Just in case you were not already aware.

  15. # A frustrated Christina Romer plans to resign as chair of the Council of Economic Advisors.

    She should have known that working with Summers was going to get her fucked. The guy is only surpassed in evil by satan and hitler! Then again, Romer isn’t exactly an angel.

    1. Maybe she thought that being a fat white woman would get her special consideration from the current President.

      1. You know (and I mean this compassionately) one of the reasons that their are so many fat African-American women in the ghetto is because black men do seem to have an appreciation for white women of size. Most of the teen age girls on my bus are really, really fat. I can’t help but feel sorry for them because they are likely going to face a lifetime of health problems.

        1. They gain weight to compete with fat white girls? That’s the dumbest reason ever to gain weight.

        2. black men do seem to have an appreciation for white women of any size they can get

          ftfy

  16. OFFICIAL NOTICE:
    Yesterday when I made a reference to “Mary Todd Obama” on a thread, I was referring only to her apparently craziness, spendthrift ways and the fact she is no doubt a pain in her husband’s ass — NOT to the way that Mary Todd Lincoln’s husband died.
    No big deal, but some subsequent commenters assumed I was somehow referencing the latter — and I don’t want to be lumped in with some of the crazies who show up here.

    1. Too late. The secret service is on their way to have a “talk” with you. You have a dog right?

      1. Just cats, a cockatiel and five-year-old twins. So perhaps I should purchase a sacrificial dog, just in case?

        1. No worries as long as the twins are walking they will provide the necessary release for our entry team. They may need to waterboard the bird for information as well.

          1. You’ve given me an idea — I’ve been trying to get that bird to speak for four years.

    2. Shouldn’t be a problem. Lincoln wasn’t shot at a gas station.

    3. But you’re perfectly okay being lumped in with the rest of the crazies here? It’s just some of them you object to?

      We’re all mad here, CN. Accept it and move on.

    4. You know who else suspended habeas corpus and attempted coercive actions against states who usurped federal authority…

  17. I was referring only to her apparently craziness, spendthrift ways and the fact she is no doubt a pain in her husband’s ass — NOT to the way that Mary Todd Lincoln’s husband died.

    Sure.

    1. How do you make that winky emoticon?
      Sorry.
      Really — it didn’t even cross my mind, but in this day and age I suppose it should have.

      1. I’m currently reading James Swanson’s Bloody Crimes: The Chase for Jefferson Davis and the Death Pageant for Lincoln’s Corpse for a review. It’s quite gripping — and Mary Todd Lincoln’s craziness comes shining through. Due out Sept. 28. Citizen Nothing says check it out.

        1. Mary Todd Lincoln childhood home was a whorehouse in the 1880s.

          1. I’d like to buy, borrow, or rent a possessive, yo.

            1. Get fucked.

  18. The problem with ‘Clef for president is that he’ll get elected on Friday, assassinated on Saturday,
    buried on Sunday, then go back to work on Monday.

    1. Oh, I get it!

    2. At least a zombie President would want brains. That’s better than our last two, who were quite prepared to do without.

  19. Lets get to some real news.

    http://www.cigaraficionado.com…..16,00.html

    Cardhu is back in the states. All should rejoice.

      1. On the other hand, I do own some Diagio stock. Drink up, boys!

  20. A guy who works at the Post Office got in trouble a while back, because he merely snickered when a customer told him this joke:

    “What do Obama and Kennedy have in common? Nothing- yet.”

    A customer pinch-faced bitch who overheard this exchange complained to the Postmaster, and he was called in for a stern admonishment.

    1. Was it in the form of a strongly worded telegram?

      1. The Thought Police are everywhere!

        And most of them are Democrats.

      2. A singing telegram, a la Brazil.

        “Pardon me sirrrrr, but our glorious postmaster fears you may beeeee…a raaaaacisssst! Please meeeeeet him in his office in the morning at NIIIIIIINNNNE!”

    2. “What do Obama and Kennedy have in common? Nothing- yet.”

      Well, since Obama and JFK have being elected president in common the customer was clearly referring to Anthony Kennedy, hoping that the speculation that Obama would appoint himself to the Supreme Court would come true.

  21. I can’t help but feel sorry for them because they are likely going to face a lifetime of health problems.

    Don’t worry; after they start working at the DMV, the state you’ll pay for their care.

  22. A frustrated Christina Romer plans to resign as chair of the Council of Economic Advisors.

    It strikes me that in appointing the chair of the Council of Economic Advisors the strategy of most president is, get a prominent academic economist who is generally widely respected but especially liked by one of the core constituencies of the party and then ignore him/her while you get your primary economic advice from a political hack.

    Most prominent example of this is Richard Nixon’s appointment of Milton Friedman to the post after which he let John Connelly, possible the most economically illiterate SecTreas in all of history.

    In other words, as a position it’s nothing but window dressing.

    1. Ooops, unfinished sentence:

      “…possible the most economically illiterate SecTreas in all of history set policy.

  23. From the first line in the article:

    Russia, the world’s third wheat exporter…

    You young punks may not remember, but back in the day, the Soviet Union consistently had bad harvest and every year had to import grain in order to feed its people.

    It’s amazing what a few years of economic freedom can do.

    Reason Overlords: perhaps there is an article that can be made concerning Russia’s agricultural turn around.

    1. I wouldn’t call what Russia has now economic freedom in any sense of the word. Maybe by comparison to communism, but I still wouldn’t make them a poster child.

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