Reason Morning Links: The Navy vs. Pirates, Rhode Island vs. Floods, Anarchists vs. Tea Partiers


• The White House unveils new fuel efficiency regulations and a revised approach to screening air travelers.

• Members of the Hutaree plead not guilty to charges of plotting to kill cops.

• The Navy sinks a pirate ship.

• Rhode Island's floods are the worst in two centuries.

• Anarchists (sort of) plan to show up at Tea Party demonstrations; Tea Partiers freak out.


NEXT: Up From Bondage or, Let Us Now Praise a Rare Instance of (Fiscal) Restraint on The Part of Oversexed Pols...

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  1. Finally, Global Warming strikes Rhode Island. It’s about time. I thought it was only Florida and New Orleans. Bette send Lord Gore some cash for some credits before it’s too late.

    1. Oh, and good morning Suki!

      1. Hi Hank! Your campaign song was something, um, different to wake up to.

  2. Assistant U.S. Attorney Joseph Falvey told U.S. Magistrate Judge Donald Scheer the defendants, members of a group called the Hutaree, had “dark hearts and evil intent.”

    In a rational legal system this guy would have been laughed out of the courtroom. But this was the U.S. “justice” system, where government hacks can read not only the minds but also the hearts of those they accuse of “crimes” (like not worshipping the government).

    1. Yeah, who would ever think that an attorney would appeal to emotion before logic?

      1. Of course they do that but intelligent people don’t take them seriously when they do that.

    2. dark hearts

      Plus, he’s a RACIST

    3. I’m pretty sure it falls to Anubis to judge people’s hearts. Maybe grounds for a separation of powers challenge?

    1. Guam hat tip for linking.

      1. Is that something new they started here? LOL

  3. If the tea party movement takes over this country they will really hurt poor people by getting rid of social programs like food stamps, unemployment benefits, disability benefits, student aid, free health care, etc.

    In other words, Bush:free market economics.

    Shut the fuck up, infoshop.

    1. I’ve always been confused by the twin facts that 1) anarchy is the absence of government, but 2) anarchists want lots of government. Yo, fuck anarchists.

      1. Please don’t confuse those fucktards with actual anarchists.

        Most of us actually, you know, support ourselves and live peaceably with our neighbors.

        1. Boring!

      2. Yeah, “anarchists” protesting people who seem to want less government is pretty hilarious. As is calling people who want less government involvement in the economy Fascists.

        1. Tony compared the LP to fascists the other day, and has yet to explain why.

          1. Because he has a Nazi fetish.

            1. That or he wants whomever his “enemies” are to be Nazis because he gets off on being burned alive.

              I like this idea better.

              1. *the thought of being burned alive.

            2. Seriously. Why do you think he is trilling here. If he ever meets a gay libertarian, I’m sure he will be sending him private emails asking him to dressup in an SS officers uniform and fuck his ass.

          2. Because we advocate a Final Solution to the Bureaucrat Question.

      3. Same here. It’s odd how people who want more government to remove private property and free markets somehow hijacked the term anarchy.

        1. They’re big-government anarchists.

    2. I like that one of their strategies for dealing with the tea-partiers is to convert by passing out long, boring Marxist screeds at tea parties. You’re doing a heckuva job, anarchists.

      1. Yes. While I could only skim that claptrap because it was so poorly written, I found it amusing that the author said he was mostly libertarian and then says things like:

        But while these reforms, like public option healthcare, are not radical and do not fundamentally change any power relationships in this country, they still remain important bread and butter survival policies for poor and working people…While national healthcare is not the answer to all of our problems, and shouldn’t be our ultimate end goal, it is a short term fix that we, as working class people, could probably use.”

        I don’t know if these people are idiots who use words like anarchist and libertarian without knowing what they mean or idiots who are trying to usurp their meaning.

    3. Yeah that whole paragraph was a head scratcher.

      Or course though you have the brainless fucks on the other side with their thinly veiled threats. (Though I’m sure the comments chosen were cherry picked and thus show the writer’s bias.)

      I’m stupid, but sometimes reading what dumbasses write makes me feel like Isaac Einstein.

    4. This is the ever-popular “stay out of my room, feed me three meals a day, and give me the car keys whenever I want” strain of anarchism.

    5. You have to love this (implied) equivalence:
      This tea party movement that emerged only a year ago is a coalition of conservatives, anti-Semites, fascists, libertarians, racists, constitutionalists, militia men, gun freaks, homophobes, Ron Paul supporters, Alex Jones conspiracy types and American flag wavers.

      American flag wavers? That website is a laugh riot.

      1. They forgot about the Albanians.

      2. They forgot rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

        1. Sure but, they still DON’T WANT THE IRISH!

    6. Most people who use the term “anarchism” don’t associate it with the voluntaryist, Rothbardian line of thinking. Most anarchism is very socialist and, of course, very muddled ideology.

    7. Dude, have you ever tried to get laid by claiming you strongly believed in totalitarian Communist bureaucracy? It lacks the same sort of rebellious attitude.

  4. If the tea party movement takes over this country they will really hurt poor people by getting rid of social programs like food stamps, unemployment benefits, disability benefits, student aid, free health care, etc

    You know, I don’t care how far back you have to reach into political history, anyone that wants to call themselves an anarchist and then agitate in support of the strong welfare state is just a flat-out moron. Communist, socialist, redistributionist, anti-capitalist, Marxist, Maoist, Guevaran… all describe the left-wing statist position more more accurately than pretending that someone who professes a belief in an(without) archy(rulers) is in favor of collectivist government action.

    1. The reason is that for many anarchists, collectivist gov’t action is the next best thing they think they can get to the anarchy they want, which for most of them is a non-propertarian form of anarchy.

      1. No, the anarchy they want is one in which their dads stop telling them to get a job all the time. Fucking oppressor dad.

        1. “That’s right Dad! I don’t want any part of your capitalist pig values and society with your oppression and prejudice. You gotta accept me for who I am and I got this shit figured out!”

          “By that way, can I borrow the car and get some money to hang with my fellow anarchists at Starbucks?”

          1. GM,

            They need a grand to go bust out the windows of a Starbucks?

            1. Of course! They do have to be consistently inconsistent.

              “Cause we reject your conformity!”

              (raises fist)

              1. Goes along with dressing identical to be different. t/y!

              2. Bad for society when the kids start getting into it!

            2. I just paid off my last Starbucks visit. Thank God they had the low 1.9% loan rate.

              The coffee wasn’t that impressive, by the way.

      2. Anarchy was just a lazy name, even for the early movement. It was never about a true absence of rulers, it was about removing a certain class of rulers. It was more properly an anti-oligarchical movement, whether the oligarchy was composed of the hereditary landed-class (royalty) or successful macro-capitalists.

        1. Agreed Saccharin Man. If they wanted to be more honest they would have named it entropy, which is a measure of disorder in a given system.

          Entropy is also a measure of energy unavailable to perform work; which is fitting for many of these supposed “anarchists”.

          True anarchy can not exist for a long period of time; people, in whatever setting, will eventually become more ordered by either a centralized authority or mob rule.

          1. There are already enough formerly precise scientific terms that have been marred by application to politics and/or philosophy. No more!

            Just yesterday I had a creationist telling me that the “Law of Entropy” (I assume she meant the 2nd law of thermo) meant that evolution was impossible.

            1. Fair enough Tulpa. I was just pointing out the aptness of the comparison.

              And how did you respond to this creationist and her non sequitir?

              1. Derived Gibbs Free Energy and showed it’s applicability to biochemical networks?

                1. No, from a Social Entropy macrosociological POV, incidently derived from the 2nd law.

              2. I told her that all of her body processes decrease entropy within her body, so by that logic she cannot exist. Then she disappeared in a puff of thermodynamic smoke.

                No, actually she moved on to a more attractive mark after my comment.

            2. Was this the same one that called you “Dr. Teabagger” on Facebook?

              1. Heh, no. But I’m definitely trying to figure out a way to work two guys sucking each other’s scrota into the lecture on cylindrical coordinates. I have to live up to expectations.

                1. Can you imagine the course work you must have to go through to get a Doctorate in teabagging? And there are only so many dissertation topics.

                  Dudez got PWN’D!: A Early History of Teabagging from Ancient Greece to Halo.

                  1. The meatiest part of the doctoral degree process is the completion of a significant piece of original research — so your imagination can go further down this line. Mine, however, is ringing the “Stop Requested” bell like there’s no tomorrow.

                    1. Jesus Christ, always with the bus talk.

              2. I do not resemble that remark Saccharin Man. BTW, I’ll have know you got reading Jezebel and Feminfisting lately.

                Bastard, it’s like witnessing a train wreck.

                1. I have a vast catalog of evil laughs to choose from.

                  1. Yes, one for each of my abhorrent grammatical errors. I guess I am filling John’s grammatical absence.

            3. Her response would be true* if the Earth were a closed system. That damn sun pumping energy into the Earth all the time screws that up however.

              *not really, but close enough, at least for some values of true.

      3. I can’t remember which author it was, I think it was Kropotkin, but the basic argument was that you need capitalism in order to create a technological base that will permit socialism. Then you need socialism to create the brotherhood necessary for anarchy. Somewhere in there was a line about underpants but it’s been so long since I read that stuff I don’t remember exactly.

    2. What they really mean is “utopia,” but they cannot define it in any non contradictory way.

    3. A few years ago some anarchists were protesting something or other where I live. So I thought,’sweet, I am about one step removed from becoming an anarchist I will check out their website’, it was disappointing to say the least. These commie fucks are sullying anarchy’s good name with their crypto-commie bullshit.

      1. I always loved this Benjamin Tucker Quote: “A Communist sailing under the flag of Anarchism is as false a figure as could be invented.”

        1. Yeah, when I first saw the post I thought maybe the anarchists were trying to team up with the TPers, but they are mad, the anarchists(!), because the tax day protest is against big government(again,!).

    4. You know, I don’t care how far back you have to reach into political history, anyone that wants to call themselves an anarchist and then agitate in support of the strong welfare state is just a flat-out moron.

      Take that up with the “antifas” of Europe.

  5. Under the new system, screeners will stop passengers for additional security if they match certain pieces of known intelligence. The system will be “much more intel-based,” a senior administration official said, “as opposed to blunt force.”

    I see they are adopting a more Polanksi ply-em-with-Quaaludes-and-champagne approach to rape than the Steve Smith Saturday Night Special.

    I’m really glad I have no reason to fly anywhere right now.

    1. You know that the passengers are not completely unresponsive to this type of treatment, don’t you?

    2. I have a feeling there’s going to be “blunt force” if you try to walk away from the screeners after being selected. But hey, if vague praise from an anonymous administration official is enough to convince the Washington Post, that should be enough for me I guess.

      1. “You reek of sarcasm, sir. Here, have some little white candies then come with us please.”

  6. The Obama administration … will instead select passengers based on … physical descriptions or a particular travel pattern

    That’s certainly an improvement over profiling Middle-Eastern-looking young men flying from Yemen on a one-way ticket.

    1. If I were a terrorist intending to blow up a plane, I would definitely buy a round trip ticket.

  7. Falvey said they broke the law by conspiring to oppose the U.S. government by using violence and weapons, and should be denied bail.
    This Hutaree thing is, more and more, looking lamer. I can see AG Holder getting the democratic party talking points “Tea Partiers=Terrorist” and calling his jack-booted thugs in and asking what right-wing terrorists they have on the line.

    Jack-booted Thug/FBI: “Not much boss, just some illuminati hunters up in Michigan. They don’t have any explosives or machine guns but get a 12 pack in them and talk a good game.”

    Holder: “Fuck it. Pick them up fast. They must have sawed off shotgun at least. We’ll call it an assualt weapon in the press release.”

    1. This case makes me wonder if a Trekkie militia that threatened to transport into the White House from their warp ship and detonate a photon torpedo in the oval office would be prosecutable under that regime. Apparently having the ability to carry out the action in question isn’t required for one to be considered dangerous.

      1. Your intent is obvious to any reasonable person.

      2. Depends on how many expendable red shirts they have Tulpa.

        1. Are you kidding? This job is too delicate to be trusted to redshirts. All the senior officers have to beam down and leave Mott the Barber in command of the ship.

        2. Racist.

    2. Here’s what I don’t get. The Hutaree are charged with planning to use “weapons of mass destruction” because they were (supposedly) building Improvised Explosive Devices.

      Now, we invaded Iraq and spent a couple of years unsuccessfully looking for “weapons of mass destruction,” which were defined as “nuclear, chemical, or biological” weapons. All that time, our troops were blasted by IEDs.

      So why are IEDs now considered WMD? By that definition, Iraq was full of WMD.

  8. This Hutaree thing is, more and more, looking lamer.

    They seem to be a family of religious weirdos who got suckered into “conspiracy to _____” because they weren’t legitimate threats to _____.

    Real shit-pullers know that Guy With A Plan He Wants To Discuss is a cop character.

  9. From the Brickbats:

    In Wiltshire, England, a five-year-old boy climbed into a tree at playtime, so the staff did exactly what they were trained to do. They left him there, lest their efforts to get him down distract him and cause him to fall. Kim Barrett passed by the school about 45 minutes later and saw the boy was alone and in a tree, so she helped him down and took him inside. The school reported her to the police for trespassing.

    When I’m president, we’ll no longer have a special relationship with the UK.

    1. That’s just…stupid. Does it mention if the authorities will take any type of action against her> I really hope not.

    2. Our special relationship with the UK should be like the relationship average people have with the special kid that has to wear a helmet.

    3. When Im President we WILL have a special relationship with the UK, but it might be closer to Truman’s relationship with Japan.

      They are a fucking terrorist nation. They burned down the White House. Have they ever apologized for that? Did they pay for the rebuilding?

      1. The irony is we kicked their ass 230 years ago to not be them…and now we’re trying to be them. Thanks, Red and Blue teams!

        IRONY, I say!

        1. PS Yes I’ll vote for you if this is your position on Britain – including squeezing them for the public apology for burning the white house. The bastards…

    4. When I’m president, our relationship with the UK will be like our relationship with Manhattan in Snake Plissken’s universe. Hopefully without the irony of me getting stuck there.

  10. But is it war the anarchists are planning? Not according to the blog posting that started it all: A call to action at the anarchist news site Infoshop, urging people to “Crash the Tea Parties!”

    “If the tea party movement continues to grow in size and strength there is a big chance they will dominate this country in the near future,” the posting implores. “If the tea party movement takes over this country they will really hurt poor people by getting rid of social programs like food stamps, unemployment benefits, disability benefits, student aid, free health care, etc.”

    I was confused, for a moment; I was not aware there was such a thing as a “Big Government” anarchist.

    I would just like to take this opportunity to say, “Fuck the public schools and the teachers’ unions.”

  11. Almost as funny as these dedicated red-and-blacks drinking Pepsi and Starbucks at some anarchist conference a little while back. Priceless.…

  12. “Are you guilty of a Thought Crime, Citizen? Report yourself, and be rehabilitated. Come be one of us.”

    1. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

  13. I’m planning on altering or abolishing the government using only my mind.

    1. Are we talking Jefferson/Hayek mind use or Jean Grey/Manchester Black mind use?

      1. Tomatoe/Potatoe.

      2. Or Scanners!

  14. I’m planning on altering or abolishing the government using only my mind.

    I hope you obtained the appropriate license, and paid all applicable fees.

  15. Randomness:

    Anarchy=”Dictatorship of the strong”, therefore anarchy isn’t really that far off from communism.

    “If the tea party movement continues to grow in size and strength there is a big chance they will dominate this country in the near future,” Yes, if I continue to double my size every day, there is a big chance that I will be larger than Alaska.

    Hutaree = all the morons and wannabe terrorists arrested during the Bush administration.

    1. And the Hutaree appear to be anti-GWB, for that matter. And also fairly weird.

    2. Reality check. You win a major award if you can find me ten men-on-the-street who readily equate anarchy with a ‘dictatorship of the strong.’ What you will find, in reality, is the reason why anarchy is no longer a useful term: in general use, it means something along the lines of ‘crazy mayhem with people blowing stuff up everywhere.’ As a word, it has long ceased to hold any real value for communicating a specific idea, in the context of average, non-technical discussion.

  16. hmm|4.2.10 @ 10:12AM|#

    Same here. It’s odd how people who want more government to remove private property and free markets somehow hijacked the term anarchy.

    If we take away their words, first the word ‘anarchist’ back in the days before even the Syndicalist, than ‘liberal’ with President Wilson, and now we are working on the word ‘libertarian’, then they wont have the means of defining themselves beyond ‘conservative’ which we can always associate with racism more easily than the other words. We are really that bastarldy.

    Yours in conquest,
    General T. E. Semantics

  17. “If the tea party movement takes over this country they will really hurt poor people by getting rid of social programs like food stamps, unemployment benefits, disability benefits, student aid, free health care, etc.”

    Anyone else finding it ironic (NOT!) that this was written by someone calling himself an anarchist ?

    1. Judging by the thread up to this point, yes. About 20 of them. Thanks for contributing your original thought to the discussion.

  18. To be fair (to a fault), a lot of anarchists don’t just want to do away with political power, but all forms of hierarchy, which includes the economic power of the rich, so it’s not really surprising they would support programs designed to “level the playing field”, like food stamps, unemployment, etc. That said, anybody who ignores the fact that they’re increasing the use of political power to try to weaken economic power is a Grade-A tool.

  19. As far as I can tell, “Anarchism” has pretty much just devolved into “Gimme free shit!” and “I hate (your) materialism!”

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