Reason Morning Links: Hate Crimes, Net Neutrality, the National Debt, and the Bible

• Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann break with their own party in the NY-23 congressional race.

• The Senate endorses the latest hate crimes law.

• John McCain introduces a bill to stop the FCC from adopting new Net neutrality rules.

• Democrats look for a way to push the national debt limit past $13 trillion.

• Robert Crumb is accused of excessive Biblical literalism.

Comments

meh

[Solanum]

PL,

Marriage is always bad, zombies are always good. Although I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to marrying a zombie.

[Johnny Longtorso]

Fewer Americans See Solid Evidence of Global Warming

More here

[John-David]

Under the new hate crimes law will domestic violence in a homosexual household be a hate crime?

[@]

Gays are never violent, silly boy.

[wingnutx]

I used to live in an apartment complex where about 95% of the residents were gay.

There were cops there for DV on a regular basis.

[Kyle Jordan]

Thank you for that. I'm going to use that one well.

[Kyle Jordan]

From the debt limit raising story-

"This president inherited, in some ways, an economic fiasco," said conservative Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu of Louisiana. "It's not going to be a pleasant vote, but it may be necessary until we can get back on track."

And you fucking mental defectives will NEVER be able to "get back on track" or whatever nifty little phrase you're using this week.

At least there's someone fighting the Net Neutrality bullshit. Even if it is McCain.

[sage]

Man, Obama is taking an awfully long time to open that first envelope. He may not stay in office long enough to open the second one.

[Marc]

I was under the impression he opened the first envelope right away, and has been reading from it anew each day.

[Jack Beeno]

I really dont get the whole stupid "hate crime" thing. It just doesnt make sense!

RT
http://www.anonymous.ua.tc

[SugarFree]

The Crumb Bible link is funny.

Replace the Bible with Koran, and the Christian quoted in the article with a Muslim and IObama and Egypt would perfectly agree.

[John Tagliaferro]

I think I need a bigger computer for all that replacing.

[SugarFree]

It is a noun rich sentence.

[Curmudgeon]

At least this Crumb guy can draw!

[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson]

The Crumb bible is cool and all, but I still like the Brick Testament better.

[SugarFree]

Nothing surpasses the LOLCatBible.

Genesis 50

1 Dat Joseph d00d was all like crying n' stuff and den he waz liek "i can has kissez?" and he gave kisses to daddy. 2 and den Joseph was all liek "hey u guyz lets make to wrap himz up;" so guyz did it. 3 it wuz long time, more long time, lotz of time, and peepz were sad 4 and Joseph sed "hai guyz if u luvz me, tell Pharaoh that 5 dadz sed u gots burry me in Canaan so I taek him out of ur place an burry him in Canaan but I coem back kthxbai"

6 an Pharaoh said "k"

7 an Joseph went with old kittehz8 an with his bros and the sheepz9 an with the walrus and hiz bukket an dey were lotz of kittehs

10 an they got there an the kittehs cried11 an the Canaan kittehs sed "oh sad" 12 so dey burreed him inna durt13 cuz deyd carreed him there 14 Joseph went back to Pharaoh 15 den bros sed "Joseph will h8 us" 16 an bros sed "Joseph, dad sed 17 u must luv us an not be mad" an Joseph cried 18 an bros sed "we sirv u an lick ur feetz" 19 an Joseph sed "dont be fraid I iz liek ceiling cat 20 cuz u wer bad but ceiling cat maed it gud an kittehs got saved 21 dunt werry I give u cheezburgrz" an he gaev em cheezburgrz

22 an Joseph got old 23 an he saw his baby kittehs have kittehs an kittehs an kittehs an he holded all the baby kittehs an red them storeez an gave em cheezburgrz 24 Joseph sed "I go see ceiling cat forevur but ceiling cat will take you back to ur land kthxbai" 25 an Joseph sed "ceiling cat will coem so tak mai bonez k?" 26 an he died an dey put him in a box

[Kyle Jordan]

You owe me the minutes of my life back it took me to decipher that shit!

Oww...my brain.....

[SugarFree]

You would have just wasted them masturbating anyway.

[Kyle Jordan]

I...

Ok. You got me there.

[Butts Wagner]

You would have just wasted them masturbating anyway.

Wasted?

[Rich]

Now, *that* is "outreach".

[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson]

30 Lot wentz owt uv Zoar to da mountnz wif hiz doters. He wuz scared uv Zoar so he live in cave wif doters.31 den de oldur siztur luked at hur yunger siblin nd sayz "Dadz old, and wez nevur seen anuther dood.32 letz get himz drunk and have sum PENIS GOES WHERE, den we can haz kidz fer him to keepz blood-line goez. Lol."

33 And dey got Lot drunkz so first doter went in and had PENIS GOES WHERE wif her dad wifout finking about how growss dat is. Andz Lotz not notice rly.

34 Den doter tellz siztur "Hey, I got preggerz last nite. Ur turn, letz get himz drunkz again and u can go do it too. Srsly."35 So dey got himz drunkz, and other doter went and sleepz with der Daddy, andz Lot didnt notice again.

36 So dey were boff preggerz by der daddy.37 doter one had a sun she name Moab.38 and yunger also haz sun she name Ben-am'mi.

[Tyler]

The place I work blocked your link because of its content: "religion"

seriously

[@]

You work for Democrats?

[Tyler]

I, uh...don't want to talk about it

[WWJGD]

Is there any website or company that can print the lolcat bible up in that faux-tome like way they do bibles? I've always wished to stand atop a soapbox and preach from the lolcat bible.

[Tyler]

pssh, that's for crazy people.

What you REALLY need to do is go door to door

[John Tagliaferro]

Anything about that earthquake in Afghanistan that the Bush administration left behind to mess up the Obama administration?

[John Tagliaferro]

The Senate endorses the latest hate thought crimes law.

Fixed.

[hmm]

Still no news about the Press Pool refusing to interview Kenneth Feinberg unless Fox was included.

[Kyle Jordan]

You have a link to the story hmm? I'd like to read it.

[Kyle Jordan]

Nevermind.

[Mike M.]

Barack Milhaus Obama escalates his war against Fox News Channel with a ham-fisted attempt to bar the FNC White House correspondent from an official press pool interview session.

[John Tagliaferro]

Ham is against his religion. Unless that was part of the joke 🙂

[ed]

My latest silly Obama vs. FOX News propaganda video if you have two minutes to steal from your boss instead of working:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cr8pn7CsPw

[bigbigslacker]

Gnarly

[mitch]

If you want a reminder of how far from the Zeitgeist libertarians are, check out the headline to the AOL article on the hate crimes law: Is the Hate Crimes Bill Enough?

http://news.aol.com/article/mo.....ate/732384

[Xeones]

Yo, fuck the Zeitgeist.

[John Tagliaferro]

Zeitgeist is so gay.

I had to say that ebfore they passed this bill.

[Mango Punch]

I met Tom Zeitgeist once, total douche

[Lamar]

"Robert Crumb is accused of excessive Biblical literalism."

If they made a movie of the Bible it would be such a porn and kill fest that it would never get an R rating.

[Groovus Maximus]

"Torture Porn" or the Ultimate Snuff Film?

[ken]

I can't wait to see Crumbs take on the Song of Solomon.

[Rich]

I and others in H&R have pretty much made the case against "hate crime" legislation, so I will not repeat the arguments here.

However, I make three observations based on the Senate endorsement.
1) Tacking it onto the Defense budget is political bullshit at its worst.
2) When this passes, I trust congress will draft meta-hatecrime legislation to deal with people who attack non-protected-class victims in order to receive a lesser sentence.
3) I encourage everyone to put a clause in their will to the effect that "Should I be murdered I authorize my family to make public the fact that I was gay (or whatever)."

Where will it all end?

[hmm]

Where will it all end?

In hell, or in a massive pool of jello. (raspberry flavored)

[mitch]

Being gay could be like "The Club," a signal to thieves to move along and steal the next car.

[Lamar]

"It is every piece of the conservative base?the Club for Growth, social conservatives, right to work, pro-lifers, everyone?coming together."

Maybe this is the problem with the GOP. The social conservatives get two seats at a table with only four seats. Notice how they left libertarians out? I suspect they hope libertarians will identify with the Club for Growth and forget about everything else big government GOPers are known for.

[Mad Max]

Pro-lifers are equivalent to social conservatives?

Does that mean that Nat Hentoff isn't a *real* pro-lifer? What about Democrats for Life?

Or are you only a real pro-lifer if you vote Republican?

[Lamar]

When you're talking about "pro-lifers" in the sense of the GOP's base, they are referring to single issue voters. Single issue abortion voters are social conservatives. Yes. And I hardly think they are referring to Nat Hentoff as the GOP base.

[Br'er Rabbit]

they are referring to single issue voters.

I'm a libertarian "single issue voter" 🙂
I think the government should stay out of sport

[J sub D]

Adding it to the defense bill would allow Democrats to argue that they voted for the measure to help troops in harm's way ? and downplay that their vote also expanded the limit for how much money the country can borrow.

I initially read that as -
... allow Democrats to argue that they voted for the measure to keep troops in harm's way ...

I have a prescient subsconcious

No really, I do.

Minnesota high court: Bong water can count as illegal drug

The Minnesota Supreme Court says bong water can qualify as a controlled substance.

In a split decision today, the high court says a person can be prosecuted for a first-degree drug crime for 25 grams or more of bong water that tests positive for a controlled substance.

The decision comes in the case of a Rice County woman. Items seized from her home included a glass bong ? a type of water pipe often used to smoke drugs. It contained over an ounce of liquid that tested positive for the presence of methamphetamine.

The Supreme Court says that counts as a drug "mixture" under state law. It noted that the liquid wasn't plain water, but had a pink color and fruity odor. A narcotics officer testified that drug users sometimes keep bong water to drink later.

http://www.twincities.com/ci_1.....st_viewed#

[Siberian Shaman]

Yikes! I suppose next they'll be after my fly agaric urine!

[Michael]

A narcotics officer testified that drug users sometimes keep bong water to drink later.

Ah, the nuanced insight of our country's Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice Cops. Is there anything can't be fooled into believing?

[TrickyVic]

The truth?

[Slut Bunwalla]

Also, drug users' pants are often encrusted with semen from constantly jacking off when they can't find a rape victim.

[J sub D]

"It is turning the Bible into titillation," said Mike Judge, of the Christian Institute, a religious think-tank.

Anyone familiar with R. Crumb's work would not use the word titilation to describe it.

[prolefeed]

R. Crumb's women have some serious tits (and asses) on them:

http://images.google.com/image.....aqi=g6g-m4

[wingnutx]

Yes, they'd use "assilation" or "thighilation".

[The Widow White]

"A narcotics officer testified that drug users sometimes keep bong water to drink later."

Bullshit.

[Narcotics Officer]

No, seriously, I did so testify.

[hmm]

That is too funny.

Jesus christ how out of touch are the people with guns.

[SugarFree]

I've seen someone drink it on a bet. It wasn't a pleasant sight. At least he didn't throw up.

[Ravac]

Seen it too. She did.

[Tyler]

I seen em do it! then they listen to the jazz and look at our women

[ed]

When I was younger and stupider we used to fill the bong with wine and make the uninitiated drink it afterward. Today that would be a hate crime.

[Groovus Maximus]

Only if it is manischewitz.

[SugarFree]

I've done that with tequila. It's hard on the lungs.

[J sub D]

SCREW THREADED COMMENTS!

[TrickyVic]

I second.

[EJM]

No items concerning Soupy Sales?

[John Tagliaferro]

Heard about that thismorning. Planning a weekend tribute to him on my blog.

[TrickyVic]

I liked watching his Almost Anything Goes show that was on Saturday mornings. I had forgotten what the show was called until I was reading about his death.

[Chick]

Crumb's takin' our jobs!

[SugarFree]

Please allow me to go way, way off topic:

We have an office game going to try and come up with songs that feature only the first name of a woman as the title.

I'd like to think of some more (the game's over, you're not helping me cheat.) And I'd like a ruling on the acceptability of "Maggie May."

Arkells ? Abigail
Barenaked Ladies ? Jane
Ben Folds ? Gracie
Ben Folds Five ? Kate
Blink 182 ? Josie
Boston - Amanda
Death Cab for Cutie ? Cath?
Elvis Costello ? Alison
Elvis Costello ? Veronica
Fleetwood Mac ? Rhiannon
Franz Ferdinand ? Jacqueline
Goo Goo Dolls ? Iris
Jack Johnson ? Taylor
Metro Station ? Kelsey
Michael Jackson ? Billie Jean
Ray Lamontagne ? Jolene
Rod Stewart ? Maggie May
The Allman Brothers ? Jessica
The Allman Brothers ? Melissa
The Kinks ? Lola
The Police ? Roxanne
Two Hours Traffic ? Jezebel
Wreckless Eric - Veronica

[anon]

Avoid a controversy and go with Michelle by The Beatles

[hmm]

S&G - Cecilla

[hmm]

Micheal Jackson - Billy Jean

[anon]

Also, Derek & the Dominoes - Layla

[hmm]

Gloria, uh not sure who sang it.

[hmm]

I should be shot...

Nancy - Chairman of the Board.

[SugarFree]

Good catch.

Wikipedia has 4 "Gloria"s.

"Gloria" (Leon Ren? song), written by Leon Ren? in the 1940s

"Gloria" (Them song), written by Van Morrison in 1964, and later covered by many artists

"Gloria" (Umberto Tozzi song), written by Umberto Tozzi in 1979 and also covered by Laura Branigan in 1982

"Gloria" (U2 song), from U2's 1981 album October

[Lamar]

Doesn't "Gloria" refer to "Glory" in the religious sense (Gloria in te Domine, Gloria exultate)"?

[SugarFree]

True. The Van Morrison and Tozzi songs refer to women. Anybody know about the other two? (Yes, I'm one of those rare people my age that hate U2.)

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

hmmm was probably thinking of Laura Branigan

[Ravac]

Eric Clapton - Layla

[anon]

Clapton plays it solo now, but it was written, recorded, and performed first by Derek & the Dominoes. Duane Allman is the one who actually came up with the famous riff.

[hmm]

Luka - the 80s song (no clue on who sang it the bald irish chick?)

[SugarFree]

Luka was a boy in the song.

[hmm]

He was transgender!!

I have no clue. just sounded female and never seen the video. I always wanted to hear a heavy metal version.

My name is LUKA MOTHERFUCKER!!!

[EJM]

SF is right. However, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the Lemonheads cover of the song. (The original was by Suzanne Vega.)

[Mike M.]

Barry Manilow - Mandy

[Michael]

"Aaaannnnnggieee!!!!......ooohhhhhhh, Aaaannnnnngie!!!!!......"

[Ravac]

Pure Prairie League - Amy

[Lamar]

Melvins - Lizzy

[mitch]

Peter Hammill - Wilhelmina

[Ravac]

Brandy - Looking Glass

[Ravac]

Oops - forget this one. Actual title is: Brandy (you're a fine girl)

[dbcooper]

Steely Dan - Peg

Maggie May passes - both are used as first names in the UK.

[matt2]

Steely Dan - Josie

[dbcooper]

Does Aja count? If so, three from one album ain't bad.

[Lamar]

Irving Berlin - Marie

[The Widow White]

Barry Manilow -- Mandy

Hope it sticKs in your heads, bitches!

(kill me now!)

[Groovus Maximus]

From Google:

List of Womens' Names in Song Titles

I also submint "Valerie" by the Monkees, which I remembered before referencing this list (which is not exhuastive).

[Groovus Maximus]

I identify too much with John's postings, as I have been infected with his H1Nospell1 virus.

[J sub D]

SF, From before your time -

Turtles - Eleanor
Redbone - Maggie
Four Seasons - Sherry
Beach Boys - Wendy

Maggie May is not acceptable.

[Mokers]

Somebody needs to ask Hall and Oates if Sara's last name was really Smile.

[J sub D]

I doubt you young whippersnappers have come up with

Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sonddheim - Maria (West Side Story)

[Spartacus]

Official ruling: If Billie Jean is OK, then so is Maggie May.

[proud libitard]

Amanda - Don Williams (Waylon did it also)

[robc]

King'X Julia

[robc]

trying again:

King's X Julia

[Marc]

Did everyone somehow miss Kayleigh - Marillion?

[Slut Bunwalla]

Beatles - Julia
Oasis - Lyla

Wait, if Billie Jean is acceptable, why is there any debate on Maggie May?

[Slut Bunwalla]

Here's a few more.

Sisters of Mercy - Marian
Depeche Mode - Lillian
Cruxshadows - Sophia
Cruxshadows - Elissa
Cruxshadows - Annabel Lee

[hmm]

Kiss - Beth

[Ska]

Lola - the Kinks

Although Lola is a man, so do transsexuals count?

[SugarFree]

Yeah, need a ruling on this.

[Groovus Maximus]

Lola is acceptable, since it is the the feminine form of Lolo.

Deniying transsexuals their gender identity would be a violation of the hate crimes legislation.

[Groovus Maximus]

Must....use.....preview....SPOCK!

[Kyle Jordan]

Toto-Roseanna
Some 70's faggot band-Shannon

[SugarFree]

Harry Gross, perhaps? Although the song was written for a dog.

[Kyle Jordan]

Don't know. I just remember it from the commercial when I was 12 or so. Annoying as all hell.

[SugarFree]

Kyle, from Wikipedia:

"Shannon" is remembered for being the subject of a profanity-laced tirade by American Top 40 radio show host Casey Kasem while recording an episode of the show in 1985. A listener had requested "Shannon" as a "Long Distance Dedication" (a regular feature of the show) to his own recently-deceased dog. Kasem was upset that the show's producers had placed the dedication immediately following the Pointer Sisters' hit "Dare Me", an up-tempo song that Kasem considered a poor lead-in to a sad song like "Shannon". The audio is occasionally played on The Howard Stern Show.

[The Widow White]

Rolling Stones -- Angie

[Groovus Maximus]

Henry Gross

[hmm]

Red Sox anthem

Tessie - Drop Kick Murpheys is the best version

[hmm]

no e in murphy moron

[ed]

What...nobody remembers the great Bobby Goldsboro's "Jean"?

[hmm]

Peggy Sue - Holly

think I'm done.

[Kyle Jordan]

Donna-Ritchie Valens

[Kyle Jordan]

With Maggie May and Billy Jean in there, would Suzie Q from CCR count?

[hmm]

Isn't it Maggy Mae?

[SugarFree]

No, "May" is correct, but it is often misspelled "Mae."

[Ska]

Barbara Ann - beach boys

[Kyle Jordan]

Medusa-Anthrax

[Ska]

Rosanna - don't know band

How about Cracklin' Rosy?

[SugarFree]

No adjectives!

[Ravac]

Toto was the band

[Russ 2000]

The thing about Crumb is he draws so well that years from now fewer people will see it as satire.

Now if Bagge had drawn it...

[@]

There appears to be an infinite number. It's a trick contest!

[hmm]

Madeline - Winger

Oh god. Oh god. I remembered that. Oh god.

[SugarFree]

Jeez, dude, don't hurt yourself.

[Xeones]

Leonard Cohen -- Suzanne
Dolly Parton -- Jolene
Why? -- Darla
Weezer -- Suzanne

[SugarFree]

Solid choices, although the Parton is just a cover of the Ray Lamontagne version.

Why didn't I remember the Cohen? Stupid brain.

The rules only gave us 10 minutes, and, like Boggle, duplicates canceled each other out.

[Jesse Walker]

Amanda (Waylon Jennings)
Carolyn (Merle Haggard)
Jolene (Dolly Parton)
Sara (Bob Dylan)
A Boy Named Sue (Johnny Cash) [*]

[* Not really, but if you're gonna accept "Lola"...]

[Groovus Maximus]

"Amanda" by Boston.

[Publilius]

Didn't Chuck Berry have a song called "Maybelline"?

[proud libitard]

Actually, Don Williams did it first...but Waylon rulez so that's cool! 🙂

[hmm]

Can it be a song used as a girls name?

I know a Lodi. I wonder if her parents are CCR fans.

[Kyle Jordan]

Randy Rhoads-Dee

[R C Dean]

A better contest would be songs that have only the first name of a man as the title. I'm drawing a total blank, unless "A Boy Named Sue" counts.

[Xeones]

Duran Duran -- Rio

[Groovus Maximus]

BZZZT!

From the lyrics:

"Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand..."

[SugarFree]

I can't think of a one. I have mental vapor lock.

[hmm]

Bad Bad Leroy Brown

[hmm]

Blondie - Dennis

[hmm]

Buddy Holly - Weezer

[PantsFan]

Brian Wilson - Barenaked Ladies

[PantsFan]

Stan - Eminem

[PantsFan]

Mr Jones - Counting Crows

[Bronwyn]

Mr Zebra - Tori Amos

[Tyler]

Buckethead - Jordan

[Tyler]

Metallica - Orion

[Kyle Jordan]

Joey-Concrete Blonde

[Ravac]

Jimi Hendrix - Hey Joe

[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson]

3 Doors down - Loser

(I submit this works because of that kid from Freakonomics named Loser. For the same reason, add Shithead by Haunted to the female names list.)

[Ravac]

Elton John - Daniel

[Jefferson]

This threadjack is a hate crime.

[Kyle Jordan]

Rubina-Joe Satriani

Not to be confused with another song by him called Rubina's Blue Sky Happiness.

[Xeones]

although the Parton is just a cover of the Ray Lamontagne version.

Dolly does it better. Anyway, it got Jesse too. So there.

[SugarFree]

Never mind. I looked it up. Jake was wrong, they are two different songs.

The best part is when Jake was wrong.

[Jesse Walker]

There's a Bob Dylan "Jolene" as well. Also a completely different song.

Note: Given that Ray Lamontagne wasn't even born yet when Dolly Parton first recorded "Jolene," it's possible that SugarFree was joking.

[SugarFree]

No, not joking, just acting on bad information from an employee who I should fire for working in a reference position in an archives and looking up someothing to verify it.

[SugarFree]

*not* looking something

I wish I could type or proofread or use a damn preview button.

[John Tagliaferro]

I think that Barenaked ladies Jane is a cover. Starship did it first I think.

[SugarFree]

Two different songs, so good catch on the Starship one.

[Groovus Maximus]

Starship also did a "Sara".

[John Tagliaferro]

Okay Mister 'research department'.

[Groovus Maximus]

No hating John T. 🙂

I pulled that one out of my ass without research.

[Xeones]

This threadjack is a hate crime.

Your mom is a hate crime.

ANYTHING GOES IN THE REASON MORNING LINKS, BITCHES. YEEEEEHAW!

[Ravac]

The Rolling Stones - Angie

[Kyle Jordan]

Lucretia-Megadeth

[Lamar]

Sisters of Mercy - Lucretia (not the same song as Megadeth)

[SugarFree]

Full title is "Lucrtia My Reflection." But it's nice to see someone remember anything about Sisters of Mercy.

[Lamar]

Good catch.

[ArkhamOutpatient]

Alice, also by the Sisters.

[Kyle Jordan]

Mary Jane-Megadeth

[Xeones]

Ben Folds Five -- Jane

[Xeones]

Cake -- Daria

[hmm]

I knew there was a Mary Jane. couldn't think of band

[Kyle Jordan]

There's also Mary Jane by Rick James.(bitch!)

[hmm]

Ophelia - Band

[Warty]

Nick Cave - Deanna

[Kyle Jordan]

Tommy Tutone-Jenny/867-5309?

[Xeones]

Joseph Arthur -- Marina
Yo La Tengo -- Griselda
Yo La Tengo -- Madeline
Yo La Tengo -- Alyda
Bjork -- Isobel
Bjork -- Lilith

[EJM]

A better contest would be songs that have only the first name of a man as the title.

How about bands that only have the first name of a woman as their name? I can start off with two Mexican rock bands: Zo? and Allison.

[EJM]

FWIW, there's also Mae (although the band name is supposedly based on an acronym, and not directly on the alternate spelling of "May" that was mentioned above).

[Ravac]

Chuck Berry - Maybelene

[hmm]

Evita - uh no clue a song in a musical

GOD MAKE IT STOP

[SugarFree]

Name of the musical itself, but not the title of a song in it or the concept album that spawned the musical.

Mandy Patinkin played Che in the 1979 production.

[Episiarch]

Didn't Family Guy do a joke about songs with a woman's name? What, NutraSweet, did you just see that rerun last night?

And a song with a man's name: Weird Al's "Gump".

I can't believe the rest of you couldn't meet this challenge.

[Kyle Jordan]

Joey from Concrete Blonde is about a guy.

[SugarFree]

It all started when we made a cross-Rock Band / Guitar Hero set list with the same criteria.

[hmm]

Now for some serious mid west obscurity. With an awesome band name.

Xena - I Voted for Kodos

[hmm]

complements of the wife.

[Xeones]

Joey from Concrete Blonde is about a guy.

Your mom is about a guy.

[Kyle Jordan]

Well yeah. If she wasn't I wouldn't have been born...

[John]

There are too many songs to meet SF's challange. He forgot Sara by Fleetwood Mac just to add another.

[SugarFree]

I did get out of hand. I had no idea that there were so many. This has been an impressive display of pop culture recall.

[John]

The way to do a big subject if you are bored and killing time is do it "A to Z". So it would be songs named after women and the first person would say "Amanda" by Waylong Jennings and then the second would say "Beth" by Kiss and so on. Makes it more of a challenge.

[proud libitard]

Argh!! It was Don Williams first! 🙂

[Xeones]

A guy's name? Bree Sharp -- David Duchovny. Fuck all y'all.

[Bronwyn]

Glad somebody remembered this one!

[Episiarch]

Look, NutraSweet is just bored at work, and you're all entertaining him. Don't fall into his trap! Do song titles that are about sex or something. That wouldn't entertain him. No.

[Kyle Jordan]

Van Morrison-Brown Eyed Girl

That song is SOOO a metaphor for anal sex.

[John]

I hear the other day that the old Bryan Adams song "Summer of 69" has absolutely nothing to do with the year. Oh my lost innocence.

[EJM]

At least Hoodoo Gurus' "Miss Freelove '69" does, as far as I can tell, have something to do with the year.

[Groovus Maximus]

"96 tears" by ? and the Mysterians was originally "69" but the powers that be at that time would not permit the "69", so it kind of counts.

[John Tagliaferro]

Best song and scene from Cat's Eye.

[John]

A lot of the old 50s R&B songs are absolutely filthy when you see through the double entenrdre

[Kyle Jordan]

You know, I can't recall them because I'm tired and need sleep, but there are two old rock/blues songs that I know are just straight up dirty. Hopefully I'll remember the titles when I wake up.

[John]

Shake Rattle and Roll with the original lyrics is very dirty. So is Good Golly Miss Molly. Little Richard isn't talking about food when he says she "sure like the bone".

[Groovus Maximus]

And that oh so incoculous and innnocent song "Tutti Frutti".

Is that one covered under the hat criome legislation?

[Groovus Maximus]

oh so incoculous and innnocent song "Tutti Frutti".

I RC'z Lawed myself.

Ewww...that doesn't sound pleasant.

[Bronwyn]

"sure like to ball" ... is that the revised lyric?

[franz kafka]

Beatles Sexy Sadie

[The Widow White]

I think I'm Turning Japanese.

[Ted S.]

"(Mama Told Me) Not to Come" by Three Dog Night

[Yerbaff]

She Wore a Pearl Necklace--ZZ
Horizontal Bop--Segar

[Ravac]

Guys name: Fernando by ABBA

[Kyle Jordan]

Venus-Bananarama

Yeah, I know it's a cover.

[EJM]

Just because it's a cover doesn't rule it out. (FWIW, the original was by Shocking Blue.)

[PantsFan]

Daniel - Bat For Lashes

[Slut Bunwalla]

LOVE that song.

[hmm]

Joplin has about a couple named after women.

Bethena (everyone will recognize the beginning of it.)
Antoinette
Leola

[SugarFree]

"Lump" by POTUS seems to count. Not a sexy name for a lady.

[Kyle Jordan]

Is it "Sheila" or "Oh, Sheila" by Ready for the World?

[SugarFree]

"Oh, Sheila"

[Kyle Jordan]

You could maybe get away with Legs by ZZ Top. I called a highschool girlfriend that.

[hmm]

has about three

or

has a couple

Damn contest has melted my melon.

[SugarFree]

Well, your handle is the title of a Crash Test Dummies song, so I figured you'd be willing to help with a music question.

[EJM]

Actually, the song's title is "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" (no "h").

If anything, maybe the handle is a reference to Relient K's album "Mmhmm". 😉

[Bergholt Stuttley Johnson]

Yo, what is with the total lack of articles this morning?

[Groovus Maximus]

"Thomas" by A Perfect Circle

[Episiarch]

Yo, what is with the total lack of articles this morning?

NutraSweet overwhelmed the reason servers with his "game". Which is just a sneaky DDoS attack, if you think about it.

[John Tagliaferro]

Sneaky requires subtle. Neither apply to SF.

[Solanum]

SF's threadjack is way below H&R standards. I'm restoring some sanity to this thread.

Songs featuring zombies (flesh-eating variety only, please):

Cannibal Corpse - Pit of Zombies
Misfits - Day of the Dead
Sex Feet Under - Zombie Executioner
Bloodbath - Eaten

[SugarFree]

"I should club you and eat your bones."

[Groovus Maximus]

"Braineater" by the Misfits

[John Tagliaferro]

Some stupid video by The Killers used to play in a sports bar I was going to over a year ago. It looked zombie-ish. The lead singer looked like a Freddie Mercury impersonator.

[wingnutx]

Fashion Zombies by The Aquabats

[Episiarch]

"Call of the Zombie" by Rob Zombie.

[Clich? Bandit]

What about Sara by Starship?

[The Widow White]

You owe us a cliche', bitch.

[Groovus Maximus]

"A Day Late and a Dollar Short"

Appropo since I already got that song.

[Clich? Bandit]

Damnit

STELLLLAAAAAAA

Storms are brewing in your eyes

[hmm]

Count on the Bandit to come up with something like that. The really sad part is he can sing all the lyrics.

[PBR Streetgang]

Joey - Concrete Blonde

[Kyle Jordan]

Since we've gone so far off the beaten path here, I have something for anyone who was near or in puberty in the late 80's. And quite frankly, it's something that all true perverts will appreciate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj2mYTg-eeM

The link IS work safe. No nudity or profanity.

I leave you all with this. I'm off to sleep.

[John]

God for Palin in endorsing the insurgent candidate in New York versus the corrupt establishment one.

[TrickyVic]

I think this is her new gig if you will. I think she's done with political office and is looking to influence as an outsider. Hopefully she can, and bigger hopes to the candidate not playing politics as usual if elected.

[Pro Libertate]

"Maude"

[Boston]

Polly - Nirvana

was that done yet?

[John]

Isn't that about a bird? LOL

[TrickyVic]

PJ Harvey?

[Boston]

not quite.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polly_(song)

[James Ard]

This post proves threaded comments don't work.

[John Tagliaferro]

Let me get a little more off topic. (wait, off-topic is unpossible in a morning links thread)

Fantastic! My bunny-boiling-level stalker chick decided to bang the blog a few more times from work this morning. Dutifully recorded it in the 10/03/2009 post.

How many more pageviews should I wait before linking back to her employer's website from that post?

[Ravac]

Wait - you have a blog? And are some kind of author?

Why didn't you mention this before?

[John Tagliaferro]

I like to be low key.

[hmm]

It's a pain in the ass since there is no function for previously read. Even a different color title or name would help.

[Pro Libertate]

Threaded comments suck. We hatess them forever, we doesss!

Here are a few anagrams for "threaded comments" that I found yesterday when indirectly blogging about this pestilence:

* "Demon scathed term"
* "Tamed demons retch"
* "Damned tech rots me"

Adnotatiunculae bilicis delenda est.

[John Tagliaferro]

I think you mean "doeseth".

[Pro Libertate]

I was going Gollum on that bit. He's not a doeseth kind of dude.

[John Tagliaferro]

Very well then.

[alan]

I read my local fish wrap with my lunch a little earlier. The expressed communism within has reached a critical mass like I have never seen in my life time. It is as if something in the zeitgeist is inspiring lefty journalist of late. I can't imagine what it could be.

There was a wire piece on the murderous guerrilla thug, Jose Mujica of Uruguay leading the presidential race that read like it was written by his campaign manager. You know the drill, the people have turned against 'unfettered capitalism' and the thug has turned towards 'changing the system, this time from within'. In the lefty press narrative the later is some sort of spiritual awakening in the necessary steps towards political messiah-hood for their leaders.

As if each page of the political coverage didn't smother you with a shit load of Pravda worthy items, the comics page too was devoted to the current mantra of volunteerism today. I wonder who put that together? NEA, by chance?

[Mike M.]

The expressed communism within has reached a critical mass like I have never seen in my life time. It is as if something in the zeitgeist is inspiring lefty journalist of late. I can't imagine what it could be.

It's simple: we are at one of those rare but critical pivot points in history here in the United States, and everyone on both sides of the battle fundamentally know this in their bones.

This is the communist movement's best opportunity they've ever had to fundamentally change the United States at its core, but it's a short window of opportunity they have. It largely depends on whether or not (and to what extent) Obama and his nasty minions are able to ram through their agenda within the next year.

[Nick]

Francine - ZZ Top

[Ted S.]

"Fernando" by ABBA.
"Mickey" by Toni Basil.

And if more than one name is acceptable, there's always "Abraham, Martin, and John"

[robc]

Dead Milkmen - Stuart

[alan]

BTW, Doonesbury has been particularly good the past two weeks. This week on Obama getting the Nobel Prize, and last week on the degenerates in Hollywood supporting Polanski.

Earlier this year, he imbibed some serious Obama Kool-Aid with a cycle suggesting K Street lobbyist were going broke given Obama was cleaning up the system, but I have not seen that sort of bullshit of late.

[Pro Libertate]

Episiarch! I command you to quote Bill Murray in Ghostbusters!

[Episiarch]

ProL, fight the threaded comments system by randomly posting threaded comments. Put your response to one comment under a different one. It'll be dogs and cats, living together! Mass hysteria!

[Xeones]

Nah dude, Doonesbury still sucks.

[Episiarch]

"Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back."

[alan]

I forget if it is considered cooler to reference obscure writers or reference from media product everyone knows, so I try to cover both bases.

Having a brain fart throw something out there for me, Nutra.

[SugarFree]

Quick, someone make a John Brunner reference!

[alan]

Be a true ShockWave Riding Cosmotarian, embrace the threads!

[Pro Libertate]

There are many weapons in the anti-threaded comments arsenal. I'm told that highnumber has an insidious plan to turn threaded comments into the very bane of Hit & Run's existence. Insidious! Plan!

This is how the Second American Revolution gets started, by the way.

[John Tagliaferro]

I have seen this plan. It is truly a shot in the dark.

[Pro Libertate]

So, is this plan just a shot in the dark?

[John Tagliaferro]

Yes, nothing more than a shot in the dark. Unaided by any modern optics.

[Episiarch]

You know that reason's web developers are Professor Chaos and General Disarray, right?

[John Tagliaferro]

And they abuse bottled DHMO during Cosmotarian raves.

[Major Malfunction]

Hey, don't I get credit too?!

[John Tagliaferro]

Bah! We all know that Reason would never knowlingly employ a member of the military.

[Pro Libertate]

It's time to return to the zombie theme.

[John Tagliaferro]

I did at 1:32. Follow the bouncing thread man!

[Pro Libertate]

Stop messing up my protest, dude.

[John Tagliaferro]

That's it, I'm calling in the scoops.

[Pro Libertate]

Ah, I can forgive anyone who refers to Soylent Green. It's people, you know.

[Pro Libertate]

It's time to return to the zombie theme.

[hmm]

Back to the zombie theme.

Any woman who says yes to this is a keeper.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/2.....otostream/

[John Tagliaferro]

If I turn stalker chick into a zombie will that just make things worse for me?

[Pro Libertate]

Solanum,

How do you feel about marriage and about this wedding cake?

[John Tagliaferro]

PL,

Dodging the zombie theme is a lame attempt at getting attention. The next thing you know, you will be asking about wedding cake.

[John Tagliaferro]

Damn!

[Pro Libertate]

It's not easy, and the comment can lose its effect if anyone replies to you. Still, it's amusing me for the moment.

[Xeones]

Nah dude, Doonesbury still sucks.

[Solanum]

Getting married for any reason is a bad idea, but that cake would almost be worth it.

[Pro Libertate]

I feel that Mad Max can now add to the song title list.

[Mad Max]

Vivaldi - Juditha Triumphans
Puccini - Madame Butterfly
Verdi - Aida
R. B. Greaves - Take a letter, Maria
Theory Of A Deadman - Bad Girlfriend

[Ravac]

MM, Don't forget Bizet's Carmen.

[Mad Max]

That's cute.

[Mad Max]

Bizet - Carmen

[Xeones]

What about The Ballad of Barbara Allen? Forget who wrote it, though.

[Mad Max]

unknown author(s) - The Ballad of Barbara Allen

[Mad Max]

Helen Reddy - I am Woman

[Mad Max]

Jules Massenet - Tha

[Mad Max]

Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle - La Marseillaise ('La Patrie' is feminine)

[TeamBarstool]

Alison - Elvis Costello and also the Pixies
Fiona - Lyle Lovett
Imelda - Mark Knopfler
Carolyn -Merle Haggard
Gina - The Mother Truckers
Ruby Ann - Myshkin
Loretta - Neko Case
Karoline - Neko Case
Mary - Pete Townshend
Jezebel - Reverend Horton Heat
Josephine - Slobberbone

[Anonymous]

Click nya.

Script Summary:
Comments will be ordered by date, and flattened (no indent).

(info on installing Greasemonkey scripts)

[Joshua Holmes]

Led Zeppelin - Darlene
Buddy Holly - Peggy Sue
Chuck Berry - Carol
The Jodimars - Clarabella (recorded by The Beatles)
Little Richard - Lucille

[Pro Libertate]

Anonymous,

What does this mean? Is this a good thing?

[Anonymous]

Yes, my son.

For is it not written, "the thread shall lay down with its child posts and conceive upon them an abomination of confus?d conversations [...] and verily the hedonists shall take their liberties with My words, and twist them not unlike unto R. Crumb's brother doth consume"?

[Pro Libertate]

Well, yea, it is so written, for you hath just written it, making it a thing of the past and not therefore of the future. Or present.

[Anonymous]

I went into the present once and had sex with myself.

It was like a Heinlein novel, except without all the stilted, circumlocutious innuendo.

[passivatedObserver]

Lorelei - Styx

[Bronwyn]

New script enabled... thread flattened... comments completely unintellible

Mission Accomplished!

[Nick]

It seems so easy. All they have to do is remove the "reply to this" button and we have no more threaded comments. Problem solved. Why do they hate us?

[hmm]

They hate America because America hates threaded comments.

[Pro Libertate]

Nick,

If only they would give us such bounty.

[Pro Libertate]

I suppose one way of dealing with this if it never gets corrected is to run a blog in parallel to Hit & Run, where all of the commenters can go to comment on postings over here. Convoluted, yet within the capabilities of the Intertubials, I believe.

[Syd Henderson]

Everly Brothers: Claudette
Gilbert O'Sullivan: Claire (although she was actually a child)
Tom Jones: Delilah
Oak Ridge Boys or Kenny Rogers: Elvira
Bobby Goldboro: Honey (assuming that was her name)
Billy Murray and many others: K-K-Katy
Kenny Rogers: Lucille
Los del Rio: Macarena
Chuck Berry: Nadine
Tommy Roe: Sheila
Frankie Avalon: Venus
The Association: Windy

[Shirt]

Bernadette - Four Tops
Alfie - Cher; Dionne Warwick
Amanda - Boston
Billy and Sue - BJ Thomas (Both sexes!)
Bruce - Ric Springfield (?!)
Carol -Chuck Berry
Nadine - Chuck Berry
Maybeline - Chuk Berry
Carrie-Anne - Hollies
Cecilia - Simon & Gaunkle
Cinderella - Firefall
Clair - Gilbert O'Sullivan
Clementine - Bobby Darin
Corinna, Corinna - Ray Peterson
Daniel - Elton John
Delilah - Tom Jones
Denise - Randy & the Rainbows
Diana - Paul Anka
Domino - Van Morrison
Frankie - Connie Francis
Frankie & Johnny - Multiple Artists
Gina - Johnny Mathis
Jack & Diane - John Cougar
Jamie - Ray Parker Jr
Jean - Oliver
Jesse - Carly Simon
Jo-Ann - Playmates
Joanna - Kool & the Gang
Jey - Concrete Blonde
Levon - Elton John
Linda - Jan & Dean
Lucille - Little Richard

This is getting monotonous and I have to go get one of my troops out of jail, so I'm out.

[Br'er Rabbit]

Your comment does not appear to be written in an English script. Please comment in English.

Put everything back the way it was before the "upgrade" Squirrel.
No threading either.

Spacemen 3: Mary Anne

[Br'er Rabbit]

The Stooges: Ann