Drug Policy

Arizona's Great Lawn Declaration

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What do John McCain, salvia divinorum, and Martin Luther King Day the Cactus Wren have in common? They're all recognized as legit in Arizona.

The drug, with it's super-hero-sounding moniker, "Diviner's Sage," has been on the rampage through YouTube and teenagers' dens all across America. Putting its victims in states of metaphysical insight and fits of laughter, the sensation has caused state legislators to go into a hysterical trance themselves. Ten states have banned salvia since 2004 and, as noted by Jacob Sullum, Nebraska recently passed a law outlawing salvia and divining ridiculous punishments for the possessed.

On Friday, however, the chair of the Arizona House Judiciary Committee, Adam Driggs, said he wouldn't hear a bill making salvia illegal to anyone under the age of 21.

His reason?

"I think it would be difficult to regulate because salvia is a common plant. It could be growing in someone's yard."

Hmmm, he's really on to something there. Just don't set up grow lamps or any hydroponic operation.

But Sean Walsh, director of out patient services at the Calvary Addiction Recovery Center in Arizona said Diggs' explaination was "side-stepping" the issue. Then again, he also said "we all know [marijuana's] dangerous so we regulate it". And perhaps, by "regulate" he meant "prosecute".

Salvia has been used for centuries by Shamans (kinda like a cosmic Swiss Army Knife), but the sight of "our children" popping their psychic tops for three minutes has legislators seeing others things, mostly red.

Before the ban becomes a national phenomenon, be sure to try this at your next salvia party: When the "diviner" begins to go under, softly and maniacally giggle like a group of children frolicking on the Playground of Nightmares. It's sure to stop salvia experimentation better than any law.

And before this makes its way through the video-sphere and into the hands of legislators, learn how to freebase caffeine.

Salvia-heads, rally before your local representatives, singing songs of love and understanding.

Jacob Sullum's post here. Reason coverage of salvia here.

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  1. Salvia is weird but it’s not worth it after you experience it once. It’s actually pretty hard to get right, as you need a bong and a torch lighter to make it work.

    On the other hand, some people were doing it once in my room, and my friend later said that he was “trapped in [his] own laughter”. He was down for like 5 minutes.

    Also, who is this Mr. Winkler?

  2. learn how to freebase caffiene

    I had a friend who snorted coffee grounds once while we were driving to Smuggler’s Notch to go skiing. He was unbearably hyper for a while.

    By the way, Fonz, you spelled caffeine wrong.

  3. Sean Walsh, director of out patient services at the Calvary Addiction Recovery Center in Arizona

    Unquestionably a disinterested observer, with no economic stake in this.
    I hate him.

  4. Aaaaaaaaaay

  5. Epi,

    Just eat chocolate covered esspresso beans. It is like eating candy and you can stay awake for days. Used to do it in law school. I have never taken speed, but that seems to be a pretty good substitute.

  6. Then again, he also said “we all know [marijuana’s] dangerous so we regulate it”. And perhaps, by “regulate” he meant “prosecute”.

    And perhaps by “we all” he meant “those of us whose living depends on the criminalization of the behavior of adults”.

  7. Calvary Addiction

    The local “ain’t no god” folks will have a field day with that one.

    “I think it would be difficult to regulate because salvia is a common plant. It could be growing in someone’s yard.”

    Like hemp? And poppies? And coca? And…

    But Sean Walsh, director of out patient services at the Calvary Addiction Recovery Center in Arizona said Diggs’ explanation was “side-stepping” the issue.

    Right. Just because a law can’t possibly work…

    See: WoD.

  8. Also, who is this Mr. Winkler?

    Considering the poor spelling, the high noise-to-signal ratio and the “hehe look how clever I am” tone of his writing, he’s either the intern or the new editor-in-chief.

  9. Then again, he also said “we all know [marijuana’s] dangerous so we regulate it”. And perhaps, by “regulate” he meant “prosecute”.

    And perhaps by “we all” he meant “those of us whose living depends on the criminalization of the behavior of adults”.

    And perhaps by “dangerous” he meant “safer than aspirin”.

  10. But Sean Walsh, who makes a shitload of money from court ordered rehab as director of out patient services at the Calvary Addiction Recovery Center in Arizona said Diggs’ explaination was “side-stepping” the issue. Then again, he also said “we all know [marijuana’s] dangerous so we regulate it”.

    Much better.

  11. I don’t use drugs, except for Adderall, of course… I have a prescription… not that that should make a difference to any of you… but there was this one time I tried salvia. Here’s a shitty drawing of what I “saw.”

  12. he’s either the intern or the new editor-in-chief.

    Welcome to Hit & Run, newbie.

  13. I just got back from a meeting. When did marijuana become dangerous?

  14. Unlike marijuana, salvia doesn’t make a darky think that he is as good as a white man, so it is safe.

    We have to keep the original purpose of the drug war in mind.

  15. “Before the ban becomes a national phenomenon, be sure to try this at your next salvia party: When the “diviner” begins to go under, softly and maniacally giggle like a group of children frolicking on the Playground of Nightmares. It’s sure to stop salvia experimentation better than any law.”

    You know, this seems like a totally dick move, the comments of someone who writes on passed out people’s faces with Sharpies.

  16. The best way to convince people not to do salvia is to give them salvia.

  17. First ecstasy, then meth, now sage. Legislatures are outlawing new durgs faster than they are legalizing old ones. This is going to make for pitiful history in 70 years. “Grandpa, what did you do when America’s global standing was under threat?” “Oh, I patrolled the streets vanquishing cough syrup and vegetables.”

  18. the comments of someone who writes on passed out people’s faces with Sharpies

    It’s much better to teabag them or give them a gorilla mask. That’s the classy move.

  19. the sensation has caused state legislators to go into a hysterical trance

    Hysterical trance?

  20. It’s much better to teabag them or give them a gorilla mask. That’s the classy move.

    That’s RAPE! That is borderline Rape!

  21. Reinmoose,

    Show us on the doll where Episiarch touched you.

  22. Yeah I just noticed “hysterical trance” also. Awkward.

  23. You know, this seems like a totally dick move, the comments of someone who writes on passed out people’s faces with Sharpies.

    Spoken like someone who woke up this morning with I AM A HOMO written across his forehead.

  24. Speaking of freebasing caffeine, someone needs to freebase caffeine out of a really obnoxiously illegal looking glass pipe. I mean, that thing needs to look like a total meth pipe or something. A big glass ball with whirling smoke would be the most appropriate. Someone needs to take that huge crack-looking pipe and smoke some caffeine in it in a public place, preferably someplace governmental. Get it all on video of course. I mean, get the cops reaction, the trial, etc.

  25. Salvia is weird but it’s not worth it after you experience it once.

    This is the same with DMT. It was weird, but I definitely don’t want to do it again. It was anything but “fun.”

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