Drug Policy

At Long Last, Have You No Pages Left To Molest…?

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Denver Post columnist David Harsanyi channels Little Milton (the singer, not the economist) while watching Congress' latest hearings about baseball and steroids and feels so bad he feels a ballgame on a rainy day:

Clemens probably did it [used performance-enhancing drugs]. But that fact should not obscure larger questions: Since when is it Congress' bailiwick to run banana trials? After all, drug users typically rat out drug dealers. Why is Congress wasting its time on a single supposed user? Are there no congressional pages left to molest? No lobbyists left to schmooze? No tax dollars left to misplace?

More perfectly pitched beanballs here.

Harsanyi in reason here. On reason.tv here.

Matt Welch and I called foul (please, make the sports-themed metaphors stop) on ill-informed congressmen sniffing jocks a few weeks back in the Wash Post.

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  1. Burn the witch!

  2. The more congress is distracted by baseball, the less they focus on taking my money and restricting my behaviors and options.

    senators, why stop with baseball? you should focus on football and shuffle board too!

  3. “Since when is it Congress’ bailiwick to run banana trials?”

    I’ve been asking the exact same question. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one. :-/

    “Burn the witch!”

    Only if he floats in water like small rocks and weighs the same as a duck.

  4. I don’t think they’d be going after Clemens at all had he not refuted the Mitchell Report. By saying he didn’t take steroids when the Mitchell report says he did, it puts the whole report in question. Having said that, personal drug use or sale is none of their business, and by holding these hearings they are making it our business as well, and as my grandppapy used to say, that ain’t right.

  5. Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?

  6. >After all, drug users typically rat out drug dealers. Why is Congress wasting its time on a single supposed user?

    You’re doing it wrong. It’s the prosecutor’s creed to go after the biggest fish, which in this case, is Clemens and not his trainer.

  7. I am Spector, King of the Americans.

  8. “If we called everyone who was accused of using steroids before this committee, we’d have to shut this place down.”

    I hope they call everyone who was accused of using steroids before.

  9. I’m more curious as to how which guy is a liar, Clemens or McNamee, became a partisan issue.

  10. Were steroids illegal at the time Clemens allegedly took them or not? If not, then he didn’t cheat, any more than a pitcher today who has elbow surgery of the kind that wasn’t available to Sandy Koufax when he retired in 1966 after six Hall of Fame years as a starter.

  11. I don’t think they’d be going after Clemens at all had he not refuted the Mitchell Report. By saying he didn’t take steroids when the Mitchell report says he did, it puts the whole report in question.

    So what? They treat the Mitchell Report as if they wrote it. They didn’t. It’s an internal matter.

    And this constant referencing to the “anti-trust exemption” is such hogwash. I never understood why this exists in the first place. A league, by it’s very nature, is a co-operative endeavor. It would be ridiculous to prosecute them for collusion. What legitimate goal would that serve?

  12. I just heard congress is thinking of a new law.It would make drug testing mandatory for all pro sports.This includes the off season.I’m wondering when everyone will be required to take one for any job.I guess it will make the DEA’s job easier.

  13. I’m wondering when everyone will be required to take one for any job.

    Start with every politician, cop, judge, prosecutor and every other government employee and I say let’s do it.

  14. When we have mandatory government health care under President Hillary! or President Obama, you’d better believe mandatory drug testing is certain to follow — since drug abuse is a health care issue; for the children, of course.

  15. If a congresscritter, any of them, were to get up in front of the cameras and say “This is all FEMA”, he’ll earn my eternal respect.

  16. Well after the Feds saved us from dogfighting QBs I guess the next step is finding out what mischief Roger Clemens was up to. I mean seriously how was America supposed to know at the time that they were using steroids? Just because guys put on 20+ pounds of muscle across the board, careers are not only extended but peak, and records are getting smashed left and right doesn’t mean that they were using steroids, right? I guess this will be a lesson to the NFL once their audience begins to shrink.

    As a side note I have been telling people about Clemens for a while. Remember last year when all the steroids stuff was coming out, new testing standards were being implemented, and Roger needed an extra month or two before he signed a contract? Yeah, he was just consulting his options with his family, and Pudge Rodriguez lost thirty pounds from the atkins diet.

  17. constant referencing to the “anti-trust exemption”

    But that’s all they have. Without that cudgel, Congress would find itself pathetically resorting to a craven appeal to…The Children. And Congress would never stoop that low.

  18. Episiarch,

    Well, I didn’t vote for you.

  19. I don’t understand why politicians are so seldom murdered in this country. I suspect having lying, theiving cocksuckers around helps justify the lying, theiveing cocksuckery of their constituents.

  20. I’m more curious as to how which guy is a liar, Clemens or McNamee, became a partisan issue.

    Coin flip before the kickoff opening gavel.

  21. These hearings are so incredibly ironic. We just saw congress and the doj act like complete pussies regarding the use of illegal torture AND illegal wiretapping by the administration. They publicly showed a complete lack of balls to go after any of the players on those issues, then they turn around and try to look tough on Roger Clemens. Good god it’s a disgrace.

  22. I agree Pinette. A sitting AG lying to Congress is somehow less important to the welfare of the nation.

  23. For those interested, Linda Chavez, an author, just published a column about how much of a waste of time this case was. The link is Here.

  24. If you take some ibuprofen (Motrin for all those in Loma Linda)to reduce swelling, or use ice, or anything else, those are performance enhancing materials/actions/drugs. So is a back rub to get rid of muscle spasms. “Tommy John” surgery ought to be outlawed. Many pitchers come back stronger and better after that. A testosterone patch used as long as you don’t go above “accepted normal values” is ok for all the bicyclists running in Le Tour for recovery, just don’t leave it on overnight. A little HGH for “recovery” doesn’t seem so bad. Seems to me that you can’t teach talent and smarts, but you can inject speed, strength, and anger. Bowling used to be the last true sport. Where else could a beer belly not be an inpediment? Sadly those days are gone with the incandescent bulb. No more drinkin’ and smokin’ your way to a 200 avg.

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