I'm Sure its Act of Contrition Statistics Are Equally Impressive


Der Spiegel reports that the sovereign Vatican has the highest per capita crime rate in the world:

The tiny nation's justice department in 2006 had to contend with 341 civil and 486 criminal cases. In a population of 492, that measures out to 1.5 cases per person—twenty times the corresponding rate in Italy.

Most of that, of course, comes from tourists, not full-time residents. Bill Donohue does not appear to have weighed in on this yet. Tim Cavanaugh surveyed the farthest reaches of the anti-defamation-of-anyone movements in our Dec. 2002 issue, and the Catholic Church is prominently featured therein.

UPDATE: And the Vatican has held this grim record for a long time–as noted way back in 2003 by Jesse Walker on this very page. 

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  1. I suspect that most of it comes, not from tourists, but from gypsys and other pickpockets feasting on tourists.

  2. I suspect the biggest crimes don’t get counted because their committed by the Vatican Bank.

  3. It ain’t the tourists, and it ain’t the pickpockets.

    It all comes down to colors, man. Fuckin’ colors.

    Right now, there’s an all out war going down between the Franciscans and the Jesuits. The Jesuits control the sacraments traffic while the Franciscans have the choir boy market sewn up and a big slice of the relics trade.

    And the Swiss Guards are just another gang with an angle on every trick and trade. Fuck tha Swiss Guards.

    The Jesuits have the foot soldiers and good hold on their hood, but the Franciscans are led by this crazy g – true story, once I saw the Franciscan boss clankin’ his fingers together – he had some votive candle holders on his fingers, see – and he was dusted out of his brain – sayin’, “Jesuits! Come out and plaay-aay! Jesuits, come out and plaay-aay!” Clank, clank, clank.

    That dude is grande loco.

    Meanwhile, the true OG is just settin’ up there in gangster’s paradise watching it all go down.

  4. In a population of 492, that measures out to 1.5 cases per person — twenty times the corresponding rate in Italy.

    Whatcha wanna bet they prohibit the private possession of firearms on Vatican property.

    Firearms ban, and world’s highest crime rate. A coincidence? I think NOT!

  5. I was hassled three times by ‘gypsies’ (who probably had less Romany blood than I do) while trying to get into the Vatican Museum. (Which, by the way, sucked; most of it was closed down for no apparent reason.)

    I was prepped by guidebooks for the gypsies, so I didn’t get my pockets emptied by them. But I suspect the tour group from Texas behind me probably wasn’t as lucky.

  6. isildur

    The tour groups are warned repeatedly by the guides about gypsies.

  7. de stijl,

    Go ahead, keep fronting.

    I’m about to make me a channel of your peace upside your head.


  8. It’s because Vatican City has no taxes. And like I keep telling you, there’s no getting around taxes — either you pay them to the government, or you end up paying them to the Mafia. Hence the gangsters and warlords that have overrun the place.

    It’s really not that hard to comprehend, libertarian folks.

  9. To be serious, the proper statistic would be crime rate per number of people present in the country, not per number of official residents. Given the size of the crowds, I’ll bet that would bring the numbers to something more respectable.

    OK, enough serious talk:

    Yo, Franciscans run ALL the California Missions! West Coast monks in da house!

  10. de stijl wins the thread.

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