Cards Against Humanity: Reason's State of the Union Version!
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For those who are bored with the familiar rhetoric of the State of the Union speeches, we've integrated previous quotes with Cards Against Humanity to create a fun new spin on the game.
If you haven't played, it's very easy. Here are their official rules.
Cards Against Humanity is a party game for horrible people. Unlike most of the party games you've played before, Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends.
The game is simple. Each round, one player asks a question from a black card, and everyone else answers with their funniest white card.
We've added our own cards to the mix, which are guaranteed to
provide more entertainment than the actual SOTU speech.
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And we've also included some fun libertarian cards to add to the
mix.
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Download a pdf of the cards here and then tell us some of your funniest results.
Commenters: if you come up with enough good card ideas, we may use them in our next expansion pack!
Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.
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I. AM. DELIGHTED.
You people at Reason can be really fun.
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"You people"? That's RACIST, straight up.
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That's RACIST, straight up
That would make a good card.
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Ripping off Jim Alexander IV's intellectual property, the Libertarians Against Humanity expansion decks 1-4... https://www.facebook.com/lolberts
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MUH IP. I don't believe in IP and 'my' cards are creative commons. Worms.
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...Christfags!
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Bushpigs! AbortoFreaks!
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Props, Plug.
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...Ass sex, Mexicans and pot.
I can't believe that wasn't in the first edition.
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Nothing about monocles or orphans? What a disgrace.
But, +1 for the "Fuck you, cut spending" reference.
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Fuck you, Cut Spending FTW!!!
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...Orange Line cocktail parties.
Come on, people. -
"Gamboling?"
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...Lobster Girl.
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That one was in the first draft and will certainly make the expansion pack.
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You know who else made a series of funny cards?
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Hallmark?
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The Joker?
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Hitler?
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Can I somehow play this as a drinking game? Because while I'd certainly never lower myself to watching this sham of an event, the only way I would be able to do so is if I was blackout drunk.
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Also, while I appreciate the inclusion of "No, fuck you, cut spending", it should have been joined by "Because fuck you, that's why" and "Fuck off, slaver"
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They usually post the SOTU drinking game at some point today, right?
It's pretty brutal.
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My suggestions:
"Hillary Clinton's modest and impoverished lifestyle after the White House"
"2A violation induced moistness between Diane Feinstein's thighs"
"KOCH BROTHERS!!!1!!"
"binders full of women"
*Archer voice* I swear I had something for this... something something Wedding Crashers 2: Unrated Predator Drone Edition?
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Let me be clear: cocaine in vending machines.
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You forgot:
ROADZ!
KOCHTOPUS!
"For a magazine called Reason..." -
Yeah, For a site called Reason is definitely needed.
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More:
Nobody needs ____________
It's time for common sense ___________ -
Nobody needs common sense.
It's time for common sense needs.
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I'll take "Cocaine in Vending Machines" for a thousand, Alex.
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I'll jus take a thousand cocaine vending machines, if it's all the same to you.
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"Only together can we create___"
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___ what we didn't build
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____an Islamofascist Republic.
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"If I had a son/daughter who looked like..."
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___Betty White.
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"There are those who say.....and to them, I say...."
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"I'm not one of them.... we're better than that... America is better than that... It's the right thing to do"
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"That is not Islam..."
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"An act of workplace violence"
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"___will pay for itself."
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Bipartisanship___
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"Only by investing in....can we...."
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"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!"
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"We got the economy out of the ditch..."
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"You didn't built that_______"
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"You didn't _______ that!"
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____Campus rape.
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"Gonna put ya'll back in___________"
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I'm not watching the stupid speech even if it turns out that Obama is going to quote one of my comments here in the speech. Well, unless he says "No, fuck you, cut spending." I'd watch that.
It's all pointless, and taking any of the socialist-to-communist proposals he's planning to dish out seriously at all--even to bother attacking it--is foolish. He's throwing shit on the wall, trying to stay relevant. Fuck that shit.
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...for the children
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Does this mean that there's nothing good on TV tonight?
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In the 21st century, you ask this question? What, were you planning on watching network television?
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Seriously, this is what Netflix is for.
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Amazon Prime FTW!
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I've got both and hardly ever watch network TV anymore.
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"The wealthiest among us need to pay their fair share to provide middle class__________"
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____drone attacks.
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...monocle polishing children
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I tried to get monocle polishing orphans on there
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its the libertarian thing to do, i mean think of the children! those poor unemployed children.
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How do we attract more jobs to our shores? Lifeguard quotas.
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Fascists in black robes.
Somalia
M-A-R-S Mars bitches.
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M-A-R-S Mars bitches.
You can't suggest that without a link, flye.
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I just sort of fell in love with Reason all over again.
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Odd. Bo or Tony haven't chimed in yet to ask why shouldn't the rich pay for monocole polishing children?
And BBBBOOOOOOSSHHHHHHHH had horrible SOTU addresses, so why all the Obama hate?
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Because he's the one in charge right now. I can assure you, most of us were playing drinking games during Bush's speeches as well.
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I'm pretty sure Bush was playing drinking games during his own speeches. It would certainly explain a lot.
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cocaine in vending machines
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And, if I may, there is an Indiegogo campaign for a beautiful set of cards against libertarians, called "Libertarians Against Humanity." This isn't my collection—I just listen to a lot of LRN.FM and know of it through the Feens. It looks like a nice addition to anyone's collection of party cards for terrible people, particularly if you're into liberty.
I've also made a fillable PDF for anyone who'd like to easily DIY some of these print-your-own free cards:
Black cards: http://bit.ly/1KY0zBR
White cards: http://bit.ly/1unCrUlAnd that's about it. Feel free to enjoy or don't.
-j
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Worms!
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Ann Coulter's cock
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oh, good one
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John Boehner's pussy.
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You left out the "a".
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If ______ saves one life we must ______.
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If you're against ______, then you're against all ______.
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__drone bombings__invest in green energy.
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Here's another white card for you: "Maggie McNeill's client list."
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You said that was encrypted!!!
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"What difference, after all, does _____ make?"
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Lou Reed, Cleveland Pallbearers, etc
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"___________ let us down one last time."
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YES!
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Is there a Cardcast code to play with these online? If not, y'all need to get on it!
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"____________, you didn't build that" should be in there
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Yo Momma is so fat _______________
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Not SOTU, but still:
The only thing we have to fear is _____.
I did not have _____ with that woman.
Some good two-parters:
Fool me once, shame on _____. Fool me twice, shame on _____.
Ask not what _____ can do for you, but what you can do for _____.
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"In rural communities, families deserve faster and cheaperr access to ....."
It's a trick question! None of the cards are right. The correct answer, obviously, is "abortions".
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golf?
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"In rural communities, families deserve faster and cheaper access to ....."
artisinal mayo from Whole Foods -
Organic hand soap
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These are too true
The state of our Union is ..
...a publicly-funded musical version of Atlas ShruggedFree minds and free markets...should pay their fair share.
Your worthless fiat currency ... we can believe in.
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“Let’s put colleges on notice: If you can't stop Cocaine in vending machines from going up, the funding you get from taxpayers will go down.”
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I never met Jonathan Gruber!!!!
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You know who else _____?
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I beat you by an hour and a half...
/sticks tongue out
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Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Sick minds think alike.
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I beat you by an hour and a half...
*shakes head, Googles Reasonable Chrome add-on or other better way to refresh/search.*
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Mr. Speaker, the President of Fuck You, that's why!
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Some additional ones:
Beer summit
High cheekbones
"If you like your___, you can keep your___"
"Spread the _____"
Solyndra
"It takes a _______."
School lunches
Kill list
"Drone strike a _____." -
You heartless bastards forgot about the children.
"Our children deserve _____________."
You racist bastards also forgot about Ferguson and the murderous racist cops in NYC, though I cannot predict what Obama will say.
I wouldn't be surprised, however, if Obama says something about Charlie Hebdo to the effect, "To protect our precious freedom of expression, we must ___________", where the blank basically means "curtail the freedom of expression."
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This is the funniest article with accompanying comments we have seen in a long time. Did some actual laughing out loud.
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"Who will build the roads? _____"
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“Ethics in game journalism.”
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“Muh ____________!”
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Matt Welch's 1950's eyeglasses.
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"monkey butlers wearing tuxedos"
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How about you do the decent thing and credit Jim Alexander IV, creator of Libertarians Against Humanity decks 1 through 4.... We'll be having a CAH/LAH card tourney at this summers Porcfest... https://www.facebook.com/lolberts
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IP is a bogus concept, 2 people can think of the same idea, you cant own the rights to think of an idea
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I agree. That's why I made 'my' cards Creative Commons.
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More:
"_____ for the CHILDRUNZ!"
"FYTW"
"Pleather"
"Green energy"
"According to the CDC ________ "
"According to the FDA ________ "
"Sexbots"
"Weapons of __________"
"Hillary Clinton wears Magnums"
"Fondue"
"Israeli/Palestinian conflict for the block"
"Circle gets the square"
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_______________ protects American jobs
___________our hard working bothers and sisters
Our sense of community has _________ our children and is only getting ________
Thank _________ for the weekend
With this legislation, we will ______________ banks, ___________ bridges, and ______________ the _______________ bears in _____________
Finally these _______________ will pay for their crimes, eh comrade?
If we don't _______________ radical extremism Michelle will_________________________
The _______________ is a conduit for____________ to go to ____________ at the expense of _______________
Marxists are moronic pieces of shit.________________ fuck you Krugman and ___________________________
Without immediate _____________ on these emmissions, we will ______________.
_________________ is what we should strive for. -
Brilliant.
I don't usually laugh out loud.
Thank you...or God. -
Mitt Romney's Campaign Slogan...
I'm in a bread bag state of mind.
