8 Things We Won't Miss When Pot is Finally Legal Everywhere

According to a new Gallup Poll, 58 percent of Americans think marijuana should be legal. That's the latest indication that the federal war on weed, which got started in 1937, if finally drawing to a close. My latest column in Time lays out "8 Things We Won't Miss When Pot is Finally Legal Everywhere."


2. Ritual apologies by world-class athletes such as swimmer Michael Phelps for smoking dope at a private party. Despite winning 14 Olympic gold medals and completely rewriting his sport’s record books, in 2009 Phelps promised his “fans and the public it will not happen again.”

3. Breath-taking personal hypocrisy by politicians such as Barack Obama who laugh about their own pot smoking (he’s not the only one, the last three presidents have tried it) while increasing funding for the Office of National Drug Control Policy and other drug-war operations. As a presidential candidate, he joked to a gathering of fawning journalists, “When I was a kid, I inhaled….That was the point.”

4. Long federal prison sentences for legitimate business owners like Aaron Sandusky.  He ran a medical marijuana dispensary in California that was in full compliance with state laws, but he still got busted by the Obama administration’s Justice Department and is now serving a 10-year stint.

Read the whole thing. Add more things in the comments.

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  • Ranter||

    Oh, see I thought you were going to talk about hippies reminiscing,stupid drug lingo and weak-ass head shops with their "tobacco only" winking signage.

    Ain't gonna miss any of that crap either.

  • sarcasmic||

    I'm so sick of that line that marijuana should be illegal because it's a gateway drug.

    That's backwards.

    Marijuana is a gateway to the black market because it is illegal.


  • Free Society||

    I dispute the gateway theory altogether. But supposing it were completely accurate, it would at best be a result of black market interaction.

  • sarcasmic||

    I see marijuana as a gateway to hard drugs only because it is a gateway to the black market. Is the guy behind the counter at the liquor store going to offer you acid or cocaine? Sadly, no. But an illegal marijuana dealer might. If marijuana was legal it would cease to be a gateway.

  • Free Society||

    That's a more credible facet of the gateway theory for sure. The version espoused by official sources is basically "if you smoke weed, you'll eventually want put spikes of heroin into your balls"

    Probably because arguing the black market angle undermines their own legitimacy.

  • Randian filtered me, I WIN!||

    In addtion to sarcs comments, I see it as a "gateway" in the sense that, often, your guy will inform you of something different that he picked up, and that you could try it with/instead of your weed.

  • AlmightyJB||

    And more than likely he's going to turn you on to your first sampling or two.

  • entropy||

    Is the guy behind the counter at the liquor store going to offer you acid or cocaine? Sadly, no. But an illegal marijuana dealer might.

    That's stupid. They should make it illegal for weed dealers to sell acid.

  • Free Society||

    that should work

  • Super Hans||

    More accurately, it's a gateway to crime.

  • Robert||

    ~20 yrs. ago here in NYC I heard marijuana was a gateway to tobacco. It got young people used to the idea of smoking something while being rebellious.

  • prolefeed||

    I'm not gonna miss being paranoid while stoned about getting busted, thus making the experience less fun.

    Also not gonna miss having a hard time finding someone who will sell weed at high prices with a chance of ending up in a cage or dead if things go badly.

  • Troy muy grande boner||

    I won't miss all the crap you got to do to get it. I've never known a dealer personally. I always had to go through a guy who wen through a guy. I can't wait to walk into a store and say, "I want 1/2 of Blueberry Kush and an OZ of Cannatonic."

  • ||

    For once, I think a little optimism is in order and Nick's on the money. Using my Washington state experience as an anecdote, as soon as weed was legalized (even though we still don't have legal sales yet), concern regarding weed went to absolute zero. It was already pretty low here, but the ballot initiative's success seemed to just take the wind out of the sails of anybody remaining who objected to weed.

    An example: Jack in the Box has been airing commercials (any other states seen this one?) for a 'Munchie Meal', and in the commercial, the person in it is clearly supposed to be stoned. That commercial would never had made it on the air before legalization in my opinion.

  • ||

    Jack in the Box has been openly courting stoners long before legalization

    This was from 2006

  • ||

    I'm not gonna miss taking whatever schwag you can get because that's all your dealer could get that month. I'd love to comparison shop for once.

  • Free Society||


    I also won't miss the necessity of interacting with people whom I dislike for one reason or another. Not all my dudes, just the dudes I'd rather procure from aren't always an option.

  • Troy muy grande boner||

    THIS (I don't know how to make the up arrow thingy.)

  • Free Society||

    shift + 6key

  • ||

    When a friend of mine visited Amsterdam when she was in college, she went into a coffee shop and basically said "I'd like some weed, please". She just about fell over when they opened a cabinet and there were about 30 different kinds. I'm guessing coffee shop owners are used to poor, benighted Americans not knowing that there are different kinds of weed.


    I had a similar experience in Amsterdam, circa 2000, where I sat in the Greenhouse and ordered some Neville's Haze. That stuff is super strong and I knew it (that's why I ordered it!) but the barista insisted on giving me this like counseling session prior to selling it, telling me to take a tiny hit at first until I got used to it.

    I told her I had ridden shooting stars and said I'd show her how (Sorry Ozzy!)

    Whereupon I proceeded to get couch lock! With a Sativa yet!

    Good times!

  • sarcasmic||

    I'm not going to miss quitting the bud for a month before looking for a job so I can pass a pre-employment urine test. What? Even if it is legal companies are still going to test your piss? Fuck. That sucks.

  • Free Society||

    Some test for tobacco and alcohol use too. Such is the world in which we live. Cultural attitudes will need to change too, but that'll prove to be easier than changing statutes I'd imagine.

  • Finrod||

    A month? You can knock that down to two weeks if you drink plenty of water.

  • sarcasmic||

    Not a chance I'm willing to take.

  • entropy||

    You can knock that down to 'I'm high right now' if you give them someone else's pee.


    Done it several times. Just get yourself two or three of those skinny Johnson and Johnson No More Tears baby shampoo bottles, fill em up, get em to about 101 degrees in the microwave and stuff them down your shorts. As long as the pee is between 90 and 100 F you're good to go. Doesn't matter male or female, just needs to be the right temp.

  • Troy muy grande boner||

    I'm not going to miss my ounce being a gram short.

  • Free Society||


  • Troy muy grande boner||

    I'm not going to miss alcohol. Because if weed is ever legal and ubiquitously available, there will be no reason for me ever to use alcohol as an alternate buzz.

  • Troy muy grande boner||

    I'm not going to miss stems and seeds.

  • Free Society||

    those will still exist lol

  • Lost in AZ||

    Those of us who live in Tucson won't have to turn on our radios in the morning (like we did today) to hear reports of how the Border Patrol seized $15M of pot in the Tucson Sector all while the government was shut down. They also found 12 attempted illegal immigrants hiding in trucks, but that is a completely different prohibition that is not quite so close to ending.

  • Free Society||

    It's for the children you racist!

  • Randian filtered me, I WIN!||

    I won't miss waiting for fat stoned idiots to wake up and get back to me so I can come get my shit.

  • Mainer2||

    Michael Phelps is a terrible example. Sure he won 14 Olympic gold medals. But think what he could have done with his life if he Hadn't smoked dope. Didn't think of that did you ?

  • Zeb||

    Phelps promised his “fans and the public it will not happen again.”

    "It" meaning allowing himself to be photographed while taking bong rips.

  • Bobarian||

    Well, until it becomes legal. Then Phelps can become the Jarrod of "Tokeway"

    "Smoke Fresh"

  • jonl||

    I won't miss the fear I feel when I conceal carry and have bud on me. I will miss smoking for free after I split my sack with friends and family.

  • Broseph of Invention||

    1) I won't miss having to remove my Gary Johnson car magnet every time I drive somewhere to buy.

    2) I won't miss my pastor, God bless him, referring to pot as a gateway drug in his "body is a temple of the Holy Spirit" sermon.

    3) I won't miss people who have never smoked pot pretending they have by talking about the "munchies" and other overblown stereotypes they saw on TV. Actually, that probably won't go away.

    4) I won't miss pot culture enthusiasts standing in as the face of pot smokers, as they will become the new Corona hat bros.

    5) I won't miss going somewhere with a friend and having the host passive-aggressively share a joint with some stranger in his house. Additionally, I won't miss being that host.

  • Robert||

    Tell you what I will miss: the anti-prohib'n movement. If the movement toward legal pot had been more sudden, the momentum might've carried over, but this progress has been too slow & gradual to have much of that effect. Rather, this will be the new line the prohib'nists will defend, and very successfully for a long time, I'm afraid, as most of the support for repeal evaporates for at least a generation.

  • ||

    Sadly, 99% of the "anti-prohibition" movement is actually the "let me have my pot, but fuck those crackheads" movement. They don't really give a shit about prohibition from a moral and legal standpoint. They want to smoke pot without getting hassled. Until some of the "hard" drugs get a lot more popular, there isn't going to be any anti-prohibition movement to speak of.

  • ||

    I won't miss indignant, self-righteous pot heads draping themselves in the language of liberty when they are, in reality, miserable little fascists who just happen to dig getting high (see also: the entire left wing blogosphere).

    I won't miss rap stars acting like they're the most hardass motherfuckers who ever swung their dick because they once got cited for possession.

    I won't miss the petty dictators in the police and DA's office hypocritically indulging their own habit while jailing somebody else for theirs.

    In addition, I'm giddily looking forward to hippies and the anti-business left losing their shit over the corporatization of weed.


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