United Wild Kingdom

In an effort to curb human trafficking and child exploitation, the Home Office study proposes tracking all children who enter the U.K.:

Every child entering the UK should have their biometrics taken in an attempt to stop the trafficking of children for sex, domestic slavery, street crime and drug smuggling.

The plan to track children after they enter the UK comes in a Home Office-sponsored study, which admits that human trafficking is now a "real and significant threat" to the country.

There is the obligatory Drug War tie-in:

Chinese boys aged between 13 and 17 were identified as a specific group being trafficked, while Vietnamese boys and girls were also highlighted as a vulnerable group that had been particularly exploited in cannabis production.

"The cannabis factories that have been raided highlight the highly organised business of cannabis cultivation in this country," the study says. "Houses have been transformed into highly efficient industrial cannabis production works using technical knowledge.

While modern slavery is certainly a problem that should be fought vigorously, taking detailed inventory of all children who enter is not the answer.

But if the Home Office does follow through with this, the least they could do is give the children a fighting chance at freedom: I suggest give the kids a running start before officers bring out the tranquilizer darts and tags.

The effect is the same—my plan is just more entertaining to watch.