Donald Trump, Mystified by Pen, Responds to Reporter Michelle Fields

After his campaign manager was charged for grabbing Fields, Trump taunted the reporter on Twitter, asking "Can I press charges?" against her.

Update: In a late afternoon interview with journalists, Donald Trump suggested that bruises reporter Michelle Fields had shown in a Twitter photo and attributed to his campaign manager Corey Lewandowski may have already been there. "How did they get there?" Trump asked. "Who put them there? I don't know that [Lewandowski] put them there" Trump also suggested that if Fields had been squeezed hard enough to bruise, she would have screamed.  

.@realDonaldTrump questions reporter's bruises following incident with campaign manager: https://t.co/QJrVg65DNF https://t.co/ISjTQ6i3dN

— ABC News Politics (@ABCPolitics) March 29, 2016

Trump also told reporters that "Cory's a fine person" and proposed that perhaps it's Fields who was in the wrong. "I looked at the tape and… she was actually—if you look at her, and according to a lot of people—she's grabbing at me," Trump said. "And [Lewandowski] is acting as an intermediary and trying to block her from doing that."

@realdonaldtrump/Twitter

(4:17 p.m.) Now that Donald Trump's campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, has been charged with battery for an incident at a Florida event, one might expect the Republican presidential frontrunner to tone down his taunting toward reporter Michelle Fields, who filed the complaint against Lewandowski. At least, that's how a normal presidential hopeful would respond. Trump being Trump, however, he's taken to Twitter to stick up for Lewandowski and attempt to discredit Fields.

"Wow, Corey Lewandowski, my campaign manager and a very decent man, was just charged with assaulting a reporter. Look at tapes-nothing there!" Trump tweeted soon after the charges against Lewandowski were announced. 

This was soon followed by Trump wondering "Why aren't people looking at this reporters earliest statement as to what happened, that is before she found out the episode was on tape?" Fields responded with a single tweet: 

Because my story never changed. Seriously, just stop lying. https://t.co/1fz9cBHOuT

— Michelle Fields (@MichelleFields) March 29, 2016

Later Tuesday afternoon, Trump kept it up, mockingly suggesting that he should press charges against Fields and—because no news story this election cycle would be complete without a hands angle—inquiring skeptically about what she was holding at the news conference (it's pretty obviously a pen)

Why is this reporter touching me as I leave news conference? What is in her hand?? pic.twitter.com/HQB8dl0fhn

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 29, 2016

This was the reporters statement- when she found out there was tape from my facility, she changed her tune. pic.twitter.com/N5815RS1At

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 29, 2016

Victory press conference was over.
Why is she allowed to grab me and shout questions? Can I press charges? pic.twitter.com/qbW2RjkINX

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 29, 2016

As Scott Shackford reported here earlier, police released security video from the night in question that shows Lewandowski grabbing and Fields and pulling her away from Trump as she's attempting to ask the exiting candidate a question. Lewandowski was charged with simple battery and turned himself in to police this morning. A statement from the Trump campaign says Lewandowski is "absolutely innocent" and will plead not guilty. 

Comments

[Episiarch]

Just earlier I was asking myself "could this get stupider?" How could I have thought the answer was anything but "obviously"?

[Just say Nikki]

Look, there's nothing stupid about doing a frame-by-frame analysis of a video you said didn't exist for weeks.

[Episiarch]

Obviously.

[John]

Look Breitbart has already identified a second arm grabber. Didn't you hear that. They are pretty sure it was Mitt Romney.

[Rich]

Not Joe Biden?!

[Episiarch]

No, I heard it was Dan Quayle.

[Raven Nation]

has already identified a second arm grabber

Behind the hairy elbow?

[wareagle]

because "grassy knoll" would be subject to all sorts of interpretations.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Assy Troll?

[SQRLSY One]

Gassy Asshole!

[Lee G]

You're supposed to grab its motherfuckin' leg, not the arm!

[Chipper Morning Wood]

The single arm grabber theory is essential to the conclusion that Lewandowksi acted alone. Yet
critics of the single arm grabber theory state that it is not possible that a single arm could cause the number of jostlings it did and still remain nearly intact.

[John]

The whole thing relies on the magic elbow theory.

[IceTrey]

She's obviously pulled back and to the left, back and to the left.

[yet another dave]

...and back and to the left... dammit these masturbation euphemisms are getting crazy

[Chipper Morning Wood]

In a Venn diagram analysis of "Evidence For and Against God Having a Sense of Humor," the platypus, Trump, and Daniel O'Donnell would surely end up in the same circle.

[Elizabeth Nolan Brown]

This was the point I finally felt compelled to jump in. Because it made me laugh.

[Elizabeth Nolan Brown]

(trump's tweet, I mean)

[R C Dean]

Thanks. Thanks a whole lot.

[This Machine]

Dropping a Trump-bomb just ahead of the PM Links. Ballsy.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Speaking of which

[RBS]

No links, we are doomed to a Trump thread. I haven't seen an overnight Trump thread yet, maybe they should try that.

[Hamster of Doom]

You just had to challenge them. Didn't you.

[This Machine]

Sweet Jesus cinnamon titties motherfuck. 17 minutes late, as of the time of this post.

[bacon-magic]

More euphemisms...

[Crusty Juggler]

You leave Dealmaker Alpha alone!

[Swiss Servator]

Sounds like a B Grade DC Comic Book....

[Crusty Juggler]

Thank you.

[Citizen X]

You better believe it's gonna get ALL stupid up in here.

[Rich]

We'll be longing for the good ol' days of Idiocracy.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

You're stupid.

[Citizen X]

YOU'RE stupid.

[Ken Shultz]

Trump is ingenious. This may put him over the top.

[Citizen X]

You're stupid.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

I'M stupid.

And getting stupider.

[Ken Shultz]

You're stupid.

[Citizen X]

ERRYBODY IN THE THREAD GETTIN' STUPID

[R C Dean]

The video needs to be cut with "Lets Get Retarded" FTW.

[Ken Shultz]

Except Trump.

Trump's smart. He played this exactly the way he should.

Boneheads would go into crisis mode. Maybe go on late night to confess that mistakes were made.

[Craig Smith]

Apparently I time traveled back to grade school...

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The links will intervene.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Said you, 3 minutes after they were supposed to arrive.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

12 minutes. Wow, Reason is playing the game.

[Rich]

Oh, very well. PLEASE may we have the lynx?

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

I'm itching for links like Pookie in New Jack.

[Sudden]

Don't hate the player, hate the cocktail party circuit

[Ken Shultz]

Could this get any stupider?

The social conservatives haven't even weighed in on her sexual history, yet.

[Guestus III]

Have the student protesters or BLM weighed in yet? 'Cause I imagine this could get so, so very much more stupid.

[Loki]

It's just further proof that Peak Derp is a myth.

[Gene]

I think it's just wishful thinking.

[bassjoe]

I was thinking last week how things can possibly descend even more into the gutter after the spat between Trump and Cruz over the relative attractiveness of their wives. Then the National Enquirer story came out...

[ThomasD]

If Trump really is Hillary's stalking horse how would he play this any differently?

Or, if Trump really were emotionally an underdeveloped 15 year old how would he play this any differently?

[Playa Manhattan.]

This is getting more analysis than the Kennedy assassination.

[Los Doyers]

Lee Harvey Oswald could, in fact, melt steel beams.

[LynchPin1477]

I eagerly await the Oliver Stone adaptation.

[PapayaSF]

"Back and to the left!"

[bacon-magic]

Behold the Magic Bullet...uh...Pen!

[R C Dean]

Thank God. I was going through Trump withdrawal, but with his usual genius for spreading the, the, I don't even know what to call Trump's particular brand of half-cocked bloviation, so thick that he's leading the news cycle (again), I guess I don't have to worry about that.

[Just say Nikki]

I don't even know what to call Trump's particular brand of half-cocked bloviation,

We've been working on some options. I think "gasbagging" is getting popular.

[Spoonman.]

Thoughtbarfing?

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

Dipshit spewing?

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Retard fertilizer.

[Rich]

"Masturbation euphemism"?

[R C Dean]

Not abstract enough.

[Rich]

Ah, yes. Sorry. "Half-cocked bloviation" *is* pretty explicit.

[B.P.]

Rugbombing?

[Libertarian]

Trumpenoscopy.

[DesigNate]

Gasbagging is pretty good.

[Sapient Mulch]

Trollitics

[bacon-magic]

Rusty Trumpeting.

[Los Doyers]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[bacon-magic]

Did you have to use that many O's? I feel shamed. *walks to re-education camp

[Los Doyers]

BLEACH MY EYES YOU DEMON OF THE NIGHT

[Ted S.]

Nooooooooooooooo!

[JW]

Winner.

[yet another dave]

Nice! I'ma going to shorten that to a "rusty trump" though.... y'all can fill in the details what that might entail.

[John]

Fields says " I was jolted backwards. Someone had grabbed me tightly by the arm and yanked me down. I almost fell to the ground, but was able to maintain my balance. Nonetheless, I was shaken. "

Okay. But if you watch the video, you see him grab her by the arm and pull her away from Trump. Then he lets go of her and she continues on her way in pursuit of Trump.

If he really did grab her and almost pull her down and lose her balance, why did she immediately keep following Trump after he let go? If someone grabbed me that hard, I would immediately confront them. And If i was too shaken to confront them, I wouldn't keep following Trump.

i don't see where the video supports this being anything like she claims. If this is the dark night of fascism falling on America, I am not seeing it.

[Just say Nikki]

If he really did grab her and almost pull her down and lose her balance, why did she immediately keep following Trump after he let go? If someone grabbed me that hard, I would immediately confront them. And If i was too shaken to confront them, I wouldn't keep following Trump.

So you either haven't heard or pretending you haven't heard the audio recording of the immediate aftermath.

[John]

No I haven't heard the audio. But I can see her walking away in the video. She walks off the screen. She doesn't look to shaken to me.

[Bush League]

Nor does she sound shaken, nor should she be shaken, given the audio and video evidence.

[Stephen54321]

At the end of the video you can see Terris and Fields approaching Lewandowski, who turns towards them.

[WhatAboutBob]

If this is the dark night of fascism falling on America, I am not seeing it.

You're obviously a white nationalist racist HITLER!!

/sarc

[Sudden]

Enough about Irish

[EMD]

We're not good enough for Hitler. We get SHITLER!

[LynchPin1477]

Maybe she reacted differently than you think you would? I mean, she is a different person.

Having said that, the video I saw didn't really seem to show much of anything. I'm more than happy to sit this one out as far as making a judgement goes.

[John]

Maybe she did. But I don't find the video very compelling. The guy is an asshole for grabbing her. But I also think she is likely being very histrionic and just pissed he dared stop her from answering a question.

I don't think anyone comes out looking good in this.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Did you see the overhead? It's pretty clear. He grabbed and pulled her.

[LynchPin1477]

I had not seen it. That does make it seem more clear.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Oh, dear God, John. I swear, if some progressives came out and started lecturing about how awful shit tastes, you would start eating shit just to try to prove them wrong.

[Arkansaustrian Economics]

John has an opinion, and it SHALL be bolstered.

Oh yes, it shall.

[John]

Fields is a right wing hack. She worked for a Breitbart. This has nothing to do with the Progs.

[The Late P Brooks]

What was in her hand?

Not, unfortunately, a poison-tipped umbrella.

[This Machine]

-1 Georgi Markov

[Mongo]

If I were a superhero, I'd GRAB TRUMP'S ARM.

POW! BANG! TWEET!

[DenverJ]

POW! BANG! TWEET!

Not only am I stealing this, I'm gonna try to make it an obnoxiously overused meme on H&R

[Hamster of Doom]

Please clap.

[Just say Nikki]

Don't forget that they're now claiming Lewandowski only grabbed Fields because the Secret Service had already told her to stop touching Trump.

After claiming for weeks that the Secret Service confirmed nothing happened.

[John]

Okay. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her what appears to be two or three feet. He lets her go and she continues walking with the crowd. She was shaken by that? I am with Episiarch. The whole thing is surreal and stupid. I don't even know what to say anymore. This is a national story? Some guy grabbed a woman by the arm?

[Just say Nikki]

...and then admitted it, then lied about it, called her delusional and smeared her character in the national media for weeks.

[John]

She seems to have lied about it as well. She claimed he nearly pulled her down and she was left shaken by it. Bullshit. Seriously, that is complete histrionic bullshit.

The whole thing is ridiculous.

[R C Dean]

See, also, "Can't everybody lose?"

[PapayaSF]

"First, they came for the arm of a reporter, and I said nothing...."

[Crusty Juggler]

and she was left shaken by it. Bullshit. Seriously, that is complete histrionic bullshit.

Be a man and shake it off!

[John]

She seems to have judging from the video Crusty. He lets her go and she continues on in her pursuit of Trump. There is nothing she does that would indicate she was bothered by it at all.

The whole thing is insane.

[Mike A.]

except the audio, where 2 seconds later she says "I'm really shaken up by that"

Other than that NOTHING.

[Stephen54321]

He lets her go and she continues on in her pursuit of Trump.

No, she (and Terris) go in pursuit of :Lewandowski. Near the end of the video you can see Lewandowski start to turn towards Terris.

[Just say Nikki]

So her description of her subjective feelings is a lie equivalent to his claiming he never touched her at all.

Yep, she's histrionic alright.

[Bill Dalasio]

You know, it is pretty sad. I remember John discoursing at length a couple of months ago about how he detested bullies and how much of his politics stemmed from that when arguing with a few of the more cosmopolitan (okay, I know that's a touchy term. But, there is some legitimacy to it) commenters here. Now I'm watching him go through contortions to defend a guy who grabbed a woman's arm hard enough to bruise her. Isn't that sort of a textbook example of a bully?

[bacon-magic]

John, your argument on this is borderline batshit cray cray. If dipshit Lew would have just said, "she was being pushy and I checked her, sorry it happened" instead of being a lying piece of shit this whole mess would have been non news. Fact: he touched her. Fact: he lied. Fact: deal with consequences.

[R C Dean]

I dunno. He was rougher than he needed to be, she seems to be drama queening it some, and I keep coming back to this:

There's thousands of "batteries" like this a day in Florida. Does anyone think charges would be brought if this wasn't about Trump? This stinks of political payback to me, and I'm not comfortable with even assholes like Lewandowski getting hit with criminal charges as part of a political oppo campaign.

[Just say Nikki]

Does anyone think charges would be brought if this wasn't about Trump?

Well, I don't think charges would have been brought had Trump's campaign not spearheaded an effort to discredit Fields, which included bitching that she hadn't filed charges. Sucks when someone calls your bluff, I guess.

[Ken Shultz]

"Well, I don't think charges would have been brought had Trump's campaign not spearheaded an effort to discredit Fields, which included bitching that she hadn't filed charges."

You guys really don't get it. This is not a travesty for Trump.

At this point, Trump is trying to figure out how to get the trial to go live on prime time television.

[JWatts]

"At this point, Trump is trying to figure out how to get the trial to go live on prime time television."

Yes, I'm kind of leaning towards this theory.

[R C Dean]

Well, I don't think charges would have been brought had Trump's campaign not spearheaded an effort to discredit Fields,

Which, of course, has exactly zero to do with the merits of the case and motivation of the prosecutor, a Democrat activist.

[Stephen54321]

Which, of course, has exactly zero to do with the merits of the case and motivation of the prosecutor, a Democrat activist.

The charges were brought by the POLICE, not the prosecutor.

[John]

No bacon, you are insane. What is insane is to think that the two people arguing over it later somehow changes what the video plainly shows. What matters is what happened at the time and you can see that on the video. And that is a big nothing. As for the name calling and bullshit that went on afterwards, it all relates to an event that clearly wasn't' a big deal that time, so who cares?

[bacon-magic]

Here's the bare nubbins:
It happened
Trump campaign lied
Michelle Fields got shade from Trumptards and Breitbart(I repeat myself)
Police looked over video, decided to press charges because they have no skin in game but to UPHOLD THE LAW
This whole issue could've been solved if the Trumpians would not act like he/campaign can do no wrong. This is Karma coming to bite him on the ass and all of the people celebrating are the one's smart enough to realize Trump is just playing every one of his voters for suckers.

[R C Dean]

Police looked over video, decided to press charges because they have no skin in game but to UPHOLD THE LAW

Uhh, the DA is a Hillary supporter, you know.

[JeremyR]

Well, so is Trump, so what?

[Stephen54321]

Uhh, the DA is a Hillary supporter, you know.

You do realise the charges eefe brought by the police, NOT by the DA.

[Ken Shultz]

"Police looked over video, decided to press charges because they have no skin in game but to UPHOLD THE LAW"

Yes, they're the boy scouts, the Lone Ranger, and Captain America all rolled up into one!

"This is Karma coming to bite him on the ass"

If by "karma", you mean free publicity, then yes, free publicity is coming to bite trump in the ass--just like it's been doing for the past six months.

Some of you seem to have come back from spring break and decided that Trump has to act like he's Barack Obama to win. Take a hint already. Making America a safe space for everybody is not how Trump came to lead in the delegate count. Have you been asleep for the last six months?

[Eternal Blue Sky]

From what I can make sense of, this is what happened:

It happened
Reporter lady lied to exaggerate it
Trump campaign lied to deny it
Police decided to get involved because manhandling people is THEIR job
People bitch over which lie was worse, denying that a minor incident happened, or pretending that a minor incident was a major one.
People suggest that both liars are liars and should be treated as such.
Tribal mindset kicks in, and people who assert that one lie or the other was worse choose to believe the people saying that both sides are liars are siding against them.
More arguing occurs as the three sides entrench themselves.
Media gets better ratings by selling controversy
Trump gets better ratings by being controversy
Everyone is focused on the lies that the Media and Trump's People are giving around this minor issue, no one now paying attention to the lies both groups tell about major issues.
Media and Trump "Just as Planned" gain while people argue about inconsequential things.

[Old Mexican Mighty Aggressor]

Re: Eternal Blue Sky,

Reporter lady lied to exaggerate it

She didn't lie; the new bird's eye video shows she was right all along. Events happened EXACTLY as she described.

This may not have been so major an incident had Lewandowski man up and apologized to Michelle, but instead he (along with El Trumpo) decided to defame her.

[DenverJ]

It was a violation of the NAP. It was assault. Nobody has a right to lay their hands on me at all, whether it is a big deal or not, it was a physical assault.

[Free Society]

It was a violation of the NAP. It was assault. Nobody has a right to lay their hands on me at all, whether it is a big deal or not, it was a physical assault.

And sticking your big toe on the turf one inch past the no trespassing sign is trespassing. But it's not exactly a transgression that ought to be made into a criminal case.

[DenverJ]

Yeah, see, when somebody actually lays their hands on me, it's a whole different game.

[Ken Shultz]

Why would Trump not want this to be news?

This isn't hurting Trump any. It's giving him anti-PC street cred with primary voters that Ted Cruz can't match. If Trump had stayed up all night trying to think of something to orchestrate like this, he couldn't have come up with anything better. He won the lottery!

And if anything really made this news, it was Breitbart staff resigning in protest. Journalists love writing about journalism like Hollywood loves making movies about show business.

[R C Dean]

The video is ambiguous enough, as we have seen, for everyone to let the confirmation bias run with it. So I suspect you're right.

[Warty]

The point is that Donald Trump is incapable of doing the right thing or the intelligent thing, or doing anything but ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK WHINE WHINE WHINE. If he had apologized to her for his security being stupid, maybe fired the guy and brought him back as a consultant, it would have blown over immediately. But he could never have done that. Because that's not how Donald Trump works.

[John]

I guess. But I am still not seeing why that is big deal. That is pretty much how the Clintons and the Obamas operate.

Yeah, Trump hates the press and treats them with utter disdain and contempt. He does, however, have his bad points. I wish people would talk more about those.

[JW]

But I am still not seeing why that is big deal.

Because Trump is the story right now?

You do know about news cycles, right?

[JW]

He does, however, have his bad points. I wish people would talk more about those.

Towards that end, I wish he wasn't the story, since he's providing the best cover for Hillary that she could ever hope for. He's the ultimate HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!

[wareagle]

on its face, it's not a big deal. It was made into one with the non-stop dick-waving contest that turned a nothingburger into this. Issue even a mealy-mouth mea culpa and drive on. Like adults do. This is Communication 101 - the world is not a junior high cafeteria.

[JWatts]

"That is pretty much how the Clintons and the Obamas operate."

Indeed, I'm reminded of the Clinton defense of "It was just sex" after months of outright lies and denials regarding Monica Lewinsky. However, maybe we can try to do a little better for a Presidential candidate?

[Chip Woodier]

lol @ this

[Ken Shultz]

You say, "ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK WHINE WHINE WHINE".

Politicians say, "campaigning". Isn't that what campaigning is?

[Old Man With Candy]

The point is that Donald Trump is incapable of doing the right thing or the intelligent thing, or doing anything but ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK WHINE WHINE WHINE.

That's been exactly the right thing to do in order to achieve his goal. That's why he's winning the primaries.

[Bill Dalasio]

So, American presidential politics has been reduced to who has so little self-respect that they're willing to most reduce themselves to the level of a retarded toddler.

[darius404]

Yeah, but at least John's winning.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Shoveocaust!!!!

[R C Dean]

Grabageddon?

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Grabocalypse? Is that something?

[B. Woodrow Chippenhaus]

Armgrabgate!

[Rich]

Now, *that* is humerus.

[Mongo]

GRABBERDAMMERUNG

[R C Dean]

Mongo wins.

[This Machine]

I second Dean's opinion. Mongo by a mile.

[Episiarch]

Batterygate

Assaultocaust

Yourmomaggedon

[Los Doyers]

Pushgate!

[Crusty Juggler]

Retardaroo.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Grappelnacht

[Free Society]

Winner. It always sounds better in the original German.

[Hugh Akston]

He wasn't looking at the pen. He was looking at her normal-sized fingers, which to him look freakishly long.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

They are normal sized hands. He wears gloves that are slightly smaller than large.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Off with his head.

[R C Dean]

Oh, I'm sure there will be a circumcision thread shortly.

[Juvenile Bluster]

It's just "Trump", your Honor.. and, yes, I'm ready. [ approaches the jury box ] Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the pens of your reporters make me want to get out of my campaign rally.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my cell phone, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my campaign manager grabs a reporter in front of a packed stadium, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you.

[Citizen X]

God, i miss Phil Hartman.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

I was just thinking about Phil Hartman the other day. He was a treasure.

[DenverJ]

Hear hear. "Hi! I'm Troy McLure! You may know me from such movies as..."

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Hmm...

First of all, let me say how happy I am to be your nominee for the United States Senate! [ applause ] You know.. thank you.. I don't really understand your Congress, or your system of checks and balances.. because, as I said during the campaign - I'm just a caveman! I fell on some ice, and later got thawed out by scientists. But there is one thing I do know - we must do everything in our power to lower the Capitol Gains Tax. Thank you!

Checks out.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Cirroc had much more coherent policy ideas than Trump does.

[Unicorn Abattoir]

You know, when the media sends reporters, they're not sending their best...and some, I assume, are good people.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

I see Robby is doing PM links today.

[Ken Shultz]

: (

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Or is it ENB?

[Drake]

This latest Trump weirdness. Ted Cruz supposedly banging half the women in DC. The FBI getting ever closer to an indictment recommendation on Hillary.

What we need is a Bernie Sanders scandal to make a complete set. Come on - let's feel it Bern.

[LynchPin1477]

His $65k credit card debt apparently isn't juicy enough.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Bernie's gotta be ploughing teenage boys. I don't see how that's not happening.

[Drake]

I think it has to be pre-teens to make an impact this year.

[Old Man With Candy]

That's not what old Jewish men d... oh wait. Never mind.

[bacon-magic]

#feeltheBernBaby

[Rich]

BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE!

[John]

If I were Ted, I would be filing some libel suits right now. Of course, I wouldn't have anything to hide.

[Juvenile Bluster]

It's very difficult for a public figure to win a libel suit. Until President Trump "opens up the libel laws" at least.

[Brett L]

Psshh. Never sue the people who are helping to keep you relevent.

[Drake]

They did insinuate that he's the biggest stud in town with a personal harem of hotties.

[JWatts]

Indeed, I'm sure Camille Paglia is suddenly warming up to Ted Cruz.

[Ted S.]

Why would I be filing libel suits? 😉

And everybody has something to hide.

[R C Dean]

You assume Ted isn't guilty of banging hot campaign groupie broads.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

Have you seen Ted Cruz?

[Ted S.]

Sadly, I'm not guilty.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

I mean, I realize that power is an intoxicant but Teddy C. is...not attractive. Like, under any definition.

[Hamster of Doom]

Define "attractive".

Someone who listens, remembers what's important to you, makes you laugh... these things are very attractive.*

Physically? He's a trout making duck lips with a concussion. Gross.

[Notorious UGCC]

Sorry, Hamster, I was thinking about something else, were you saying something?

[Hamster of Doom]

Hi, Eddie.

[JeremyR]

If the accusation was Cruz paying hookers for sex, it would be believable. For him having sex with extremely attractive women for free? Uh, that's hard to believe

[Hugh Akston]

The FBI getting ever closer to an indictment recommendation on Hillary.

Achilles is closing in on that tortoise.

[Citizen X]

What we need is a Bernie Sanders scandal to make a complete set.

In even a slightly more reasonable world, him being an outspoken socialist would have been enough.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

"The FBI getting ever closer to an indictment"

Something tells me they've decided, each day, to get 50% closer to indictment. They make progress without actually ever getting there, pleasing everyone.

[Rich]

"I was jolted backwards."

"Suddenly a shot rang out!"

[Jerry on the rocks]

You know who also jolted backwards?

[Rich]

Carmen Electra?

[This Machine]

WHERE MY LINKS GONE

[R C Dean]

This thread is more like it. The other one was taking this way too seriously.

Mockery and abuse all around is all this really deserves.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

Everyone's got their sarcasm on for PM links.

[Hamster of Doom]

Damn skippy.

[JW]

It was a insignificant event, but then Trump and his scumbag staff and lapdogs made it into a big deal. This should have been over the next morning, were anyone on that campaign equipped with anything approaching human-like feelings.

But, you know that. Carry on.

[R C Dean]

I think there's plenty of lapdogs and scumbags and people without a soul working hard to make this a word-historical atrocity all around.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

For my part, I will admit I got way too into it. There is just something about the blatant lying in the face of contrary evidence that got my Irish up (phrasing).

That and Lewandowski has one of the most punchable faces ever.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Seems like the reporter's making a big deal out of nothing. Not really unusual. Everyone's exaggerating things these days to make Trump look bad. Which seems stupid to me, as you shouldn't need to exaggerate to discredit TRUMP.

But nah, a campaign manager grabs and blocks a reporter bothering his candidate and she "was almost thrown down".

Seems like it's playing into Trump's hand. By exaggerating things that shouldn't be big issues, like this, it'll just cause us to realize that the media exaggerates everything Trump does. Which may lead to people more willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when the media reports on actual shitty things he does and says.

[Ken Shultz]

"Seems like the reporter's making a big deal out of nothing"

I can't believe you're condoning Nazi thuggery!

[Square = Circle]

"Everyone's exaggerating things these days to make Trump look bad. Which seems stupid to me, as you shouldn't need to exaggerate to discredit TRUMP."

^ This.

[GILMORE?]

Seems like the reporter's making a big deal out of nothing.

And a thousand souls cried out in anguish, then were silenced.

THIS IS HOW PATRIARCHY WINS

[Pat (PM)]

Good, I was hoping we'd get a blurb about what Donald Trump is saying on Twitter in lieu of PM links.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

It's all well and good mocking Trump, but I see Reason doesn't have PM links up yet, so who's the real monster?

[Crusty Juggler]

My guess: Soave.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Warty?

[Episiarch]

Me.

[Hamster of Doom]

You arrogant ass, you've killed us!

[Episiarch]

One ping only, Vasily.

[Hamster of Doom]

So hot.

[tarran]

Not me.

[The Late P Brooks]

Why is she allowed to grab me and shout questions? Can I press charges?

Not too clear on the "pubic figure" part of the Presidency, is ya Donald?

[R C Dean]

I actually think pointing out that she grabbed him, which is also a technical battery, is very clever, because it highlights the context here.

[waffles]

This makes me yearn for the shit-swastika.

[Rich]

Thanks to the magic of the intertoobs, it's never far away.

[GILMORE?]

Yes, there was some real authentic drama there.

Instead, we get The Shove That Shattered Souls

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

So it takes Twitter to finally make me wobbly on free speech.

[GILMORE?]

one might expect the Republican presidential frontrunner to tone down his taunting

[GILMORE?]

Who is this "one", and how fucking oblivious to the past 9 months are they that they'd believe *that*?

[Loki]

Aaaaand now another 200+ comment thread discussing the relative merits of whether or not grabbing someone should be considered battery, insinuations that this is just further evidence of the "pussification of 'murrica" by faux tuff gais who apparently grab other people all the time, along with plenty of butthurt along the lines of "why come you COZMO FAGGITS pickin' on Trump?!"

Gee, I can't wait...

I think I'll go work on some boring ass satellite requirements horseshit (because that's all I do at work while others get to be real engineers - but I'm not bitter, really) instead.

[GILMORE?]

butthurt along the lines of "why come you COZMO FAGGITS pickin' on Trump?!"

I for one feel the trauma of the shove down to my very bones and now look at people with a thousand yard-stare having seen the true depth of evil man is capable of.

[Warty]

WHYCOME NOT U TAKE STEM CLSES

I feel your pain. I've been balls-deep in middleware hell all day. I miss the halcyon days of working on tedious CUDA speedups and shit.

[Episiarch]

Try trying to figure out what aspects of Regex an Epicor matching statement utilizes and which it doesn't all day. Ugh.

[Warty]

WHYCOME NOT U SANITIZE INPUT PARSING IS EZ BRO

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Another cuck white knight claiming the high ground. Your satellites aren't gonna fuck you, bro.

[Warty]

A+.

[Heroic Mulatto]

[CLAPPING INTENSIFIES GROWING INTO A THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE]

[Ken Shultz]

"I think I'll go work on some boring ass satellite requirements horseshit (because that's all I do at work while others get to be real engineers - but I'm not bitter, really) instead.

So, all us silly people can argue about who the emperor will be while you you and your coworkers go back to building Skynet?

Thanks a lot, bro!

[Loki]

I for one welcome our robot overlords!

[John]

She was shaken by it loki. Shaken. Don't you understand that

[Juvenile Bluster]

Vox has a calculator showing what happens to your taxes under each candidate. Of course, it shows that *everyone's*, no matter how little they make, will go up significantly under Sanders. As an example, I put in $28k/year, and it said they'd be paying $2800 or so extra in taxes!

My friends who feel the Bern are falling over themselves to say how we'd really all have extra money because of all the other things we wouldn't be paying for.

[GILMORE?]

Vox has a calculator

where have they been keeping it all this time?

[Guestus III]

Does time slow as we near peak retard? Because this fucking election is really dragging at this point.

[Crusty Juggler]

Why do Trumpanatics dislike women so much?

[R C Dean]

Have you ever actually met any women?

[Crusty Juggler]

No.

[Hamster of Doom]

I'm not convinced women exist.

[Warty]

Sorry, I've already written enough dissertations for a lifetime. Ask HM, maybe.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Because most of them are either middle-aged virgins or married to their cousins.

[GILMORE?]

UGH SURROUNDED BY YOKEL SHOVE-DENIERS
(sprays perfume with classy victorian atomizer)

[Guestus III]

True playez vote T-Cruz.

[PapayaSF]

Huma shoving someone was apparently not important.

And looky here: Palm Beach County State Attorney Dave Aronberg is part of Hillary Clinton's team.

[R C Dean]

Well, golly, that's a shock.

And many soi-disant libertarians remain serenely unconcerned with a prosecution that has the stink of political payback all over it.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Because we hate everybody on every side.

The video makes it look like something happened, so I'm fine with charging the dude with a misdemeanor. There's probable cause there. I'm mostly laughing at Trump's response.

[Crusty Juggler]

If she didn't want to get her arm grabbed she should not have become a campaign reporter.

[GILMORE?]

If you were a STEM graduate you'd understand why this shit is really important.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Grab its leg, Crusty.

GRAB IT.

[John]

She like shoves the nice old lady wanting to give her a hug away. What a bitch.

I don't think her attitude is going to go over well with the girls at Danberry. And Hillary might not go to the can, but Huma is likely to be the fall guy.

[Trshmnstr, terror of the trash]

Links! Links! Links!

[GILMORE?]

File Under = DUH REALLY??

Second judge says Clinton email setup may have been in 'bad faith'

A second federal judge has taken the rare step of allowing a group suing for records from Hillary Clinton's time as U.S. secretary of state to seek sworn testimony from officials, saying there was "evidence of government wrong-doing and bad faith."

The language in Judge Royce Lamberth's order undercut the Democratic presidential contender's assertion she was allowed to set up a private email server in her home for her work as the country's top diplomat and that the arrangement was not particularly unusual.

The case is a civil matter, but the order adds to the legal uncertainty that has overshadowed Clinton's campaign to be the Democratic nominee in the Nov. 8 presidential election.

"Where there is evidence of government wrong-doing and bad faith, as here, limited discovery is appropriate, even though it is exceedingly rare in FOIA (freedom-of-information) cases,"

The government is normally given the benefit of the doubt that it properly searched and produced records.

[GILMORE?]

Potential largest bankruptcy of the last decade involving a non-financial company = guess what it shares in common with the others

[GILMORE?]

Remember that "Cash-Strapped Detroit School System?"

Well, there may be a reason why money seems to just vanish into the system

[Slammer]

TRUMP IS TEARING US APART!!

[The Master McMonocle]

I watched 24 Hour Party People last night. They handled Ian Curtis better than I expected.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

The Jr High-ification of the public debate is something to behold.

[Pat (PM)]

Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

You're the only one.

[Juvenile Bluster]

i had sex with ur mom lol n00b u sux00r at halo

[RBS]

His wife is in a coma.

[Hamster of Doom]

NTTAWWT.

[JW]

Never bring a pen to a Trump fight.

[Bubba Jones]

I am confused. Let's assume that Trump's man shoved a reporter.

I saw Mark Halperin get handled roughly by the secret service at a Trump event for having too much attitude. WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE?

Didn't Hillary use a rope to shove reporters out of her way?

Aren't reporters inherently pushy and obnoxious? Aren't they supposed to push boundaries until someone want to punch them in the face?

I would think that any time a reporter lets the story become about the reporter, s/he has failed at reporting.

[PapayaSF]

Hillary's reporter rodeo.

[mad.casual]

Aren't reporters inherently pushy and obnoxious? Aren't they supposed to push boundaries until someone want to punch them in the face?

The most Trump-like businessman I ever worked with/around use to tell salesmen to "Come back with a purchase order or a restraining order or don't come back."

Not sure where he stood on assault charges, I assumed they fell under "don't come back".

[John]

I think a lot of this is a terrible combination of millennial special snowflake syndrome and sexism. Helprin is an old ugly white guy. Michelle Fields is 20 something and hot and she knows she is hot. And you can't treat a snowflake like Fields the same way you treat an old white guy like Helprin.

[Private Chipperbot]

We're doomed.

SFSU is investigating a viral YouTube video showing a black female student confronting a white male student over his dreads.

No PM lynx so feel free to discuss if this is worse than Trumpyankgate.

[Juvenile Bluster]

"San Francisco State University promotes the rights of the campus community to engage in free speech, but does not condone behavior that impedes the safety or well-being of others. We are taking the matter seriously and will promptly and thoroughly investigate this incident through applicable University channels, including our campus student conduct procedures."

I'm sure the university will swiftly punish the young man for his violence. Cultural appropriation is akin to murder.

[PapayaSF]

I hereby demand that all complaints by black people about cultural appropriation be done in an African language. If you aren't ethnically English, speaking my language is appropriating an important part of my culture.

[Eternal Blue Sky]

Frickin' Anglos and your garbage nonsense language. Learn to be phonetic, damn it!!

[On the plus side, at least you have the decency to write all of your vowels, fucking Semitic languages...]

[Arkansaustrian Economics]

I love how she thought "Where is Egypt?" was a great comeback, that it being in Africa would bolster her case.

If you aren't Egyptian, it being in Africa doesn't change anything. Once you get to generalizing at that level, we're ALL from motherfucking Africa.

[Slammer]

The first baseman for the Pirates is a white dude with dreads.

[GILMORE?]

The first baseman for the Pirates

SEE?! Piracy!! He stole their culture!

[Rich]

"Yo, girl, stop touching me now, I don't need your disrespect."

"And don't be misappropriating my language neither!"

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Meanwhile, the video has set off a barrage of negative, racially charged comments on YouTube. Most of them are more insulting than the video that inspired them. One comment accuses the black woman in the video of cultural appropriation because she is "wearing clothes."

I must admit to giggling.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

Thank Dagon, I'm not the only one.

[R C Dean]

That's hilarious. If anyone is ever stupid enough to accuse me of cultural appropriation, that's going to be my response.

[Heroic Mulatto]

The video shows the pair in a campus stairwell. It begins when the man asks, "You're saying I can't have a hairstyle because of your culture? Why?"

"Because it's my culture," she replies.

No bitch, and I say this as the son of an honest to goodness real Rastafarian from the islands, it isn't.

In Ancient Greece, kouros sculptures from the Archaic period depict men wearing dreadlocks,[2] while Spartan hoplites (generally described as fair-haired)[3] wore formal locks as part of their battle dress.[4] The style was worn by Ancient Christian Ascetics, and the Dervishes of Islam, among others.[5] Some of the very earliest Christians also may have worn this hairstyle; there are descriptions of James the Just, first Bishop of Jerusalem, who is said to have worn them to his ankles.[6]

Pre-Columbian Aztec priests were described in Aztec codices (including the Dur?n Codex, the Codex Tudela and the Codex Mendoza) as wearing their hair untouched, allowing it to grow long and matted.[7]

Can you grow hair? Yes? Then anything you can do to your hair is "your culture".

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

"One comment accuses the black woman in the video of cultural appropriation because she is "wearing clothes.""

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

"Meanwhile, the video has set off a barrage of negative, racially charged comments on YouTube. Most of them are more insulting than the video that inspired them. One comment accuses the black woman in the video of cultural appropriation because she is "wearing clothes.""

How is someone saying racist shit in a Youtube comment section more 'insulting' than someone going around and harassing strangers in real life?

[GILMORE?]

The juvenile racism of youtube comments in no way exonerates the stupidity of the people in the video

that's sort of the way Twittertardery is so effective. For every one person's dumbass comment, the dumbass reactions are so "Ugh" that they use their 'harassment' as vindication of their dumbass view.

[Ken Shultz]

"One comment accuses the black woman in the video of cultural appropriation because she is "wearing clothes."

Somebody should hire that guy as a writer for late night.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

I thought this was America, not a linkless dystopia.

This is the worst of all possible universes. I bet in this World Without Links Robby shaved his head and ENB is in a convent.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Truly the darkest timeline.

[Episiarch]

Hey, if it has Evil Annie, I'm all for it.

[Pat (PM)]

I'm sorry, I thought this was America!

[LynchPin1477]

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I don't like Mash PM Links Units.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

This is all so fucking stupid that it's just perfect for this year. We're electing a President this year, folks! Well, whoever votes is...

And LOOK at the choices!!!

A reminder you could:

Vote for Almanian for President - 2016
I Probably Won't Make It Any Worse!

And I definitely didn't shove no damned reporter, cause I've never been interviewed by nobody, not nowhere, no no how.

[Warty]

VOTE WARTY/ALMANIAN 2016

THE GREATEST OF ALL EVILS

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Do you have masks?

[Playa Manhattan.]

OMG!!!! CRUSTY!!!!

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

Is that because she thought it was a good penis or a really, really bad penis?

[Playa Manhattan.]

Either way, she wanted a picture, and that's hot.

[Pat (PM)]

Neither, it's for identification purposes. They tag it and then release it back into the wild.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Would.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Would.

[This Machine]

Absolutely would.

[bacon-magic]

Would, as long as I took any recording devices. Small hands...*cries like a Crybully Rusty Trumpeter(hat tip to X)

[Playa Manhattan.]

Wood.

[Crusty Juggler]

Not my type.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

"Not my type."

Crusty porn

[Crusty Juggler]

Irish, you are the only one who understands me.

[Hooha]

I like Benjamin Franklin, too.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Have. Though I was in a coma at the time.

[Old Man With Candy]

Goddammmit, it was MY penis! And I told them not to press charges, just press her against it!

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

You guys who think it's cute to say 'wood' or 'would' are all disgusting.

Pigs.

Yes.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Because your only response is "Can't".

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

Obligatory

[Sevo]

If we ever get PM links, I'll put it there, too:

"White SF State student with dreads accused of 'cultural appropriation'"
[...]
"A black San Francisco State student accuses a white student wearing dreadlocks of "cultural appropriation" in a video filmed Monday on the university's campus."
http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/.....215259.php

That black kid ever eats corn, I'm on her like stink on stuff!

[Hamster of Doom]

And hopefully then, you'll be the first to do so.

Good luck!

[GILMORE?]

LOOK AT THE SHOVING OMG

[Playa Manhattan.]

All I'm seeing there is an assault. The details don't matter. If that happened to me, that person would be bleeding on the ground.

[Zeb]

Yeah, a punch in the face probably wouldn't have been too unreasonable of a reaction.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Anything that attempts to stop white kids from sporting dreads, I'm ok with.

[Heroic Mulatto]

That black kid ever eats corn, I'm on her like stink on stuff!

That's an odd fetish, but, hey! You be you.

[Agile Cyborg]

Fucking floating points do not belong on bathroom scales!

[Crusty Juggler]

We did not get links because after what we did today we do not deserve links. I blame myself.

I also blame all of you! You fuckin' people!

[Hamster of Doom]

You know it upsets the children to see us fight like this.

[jarflax]

Old Man With Candy has the kids, fight on.

[coloraDOOM]

Ever again?!

[GILMORE?]

Shocking new development: Obama Wants Money

[coloraDOOM]

So today all my coworkers decided that I should be the only one who's even here. Everyone dumped projects on me. They're out back in an office casually laughing and talking while I'm juggling too much. I've been nagged on updates on these projects as they do nothing.
What's the honor policy on walking out?
I need a beer.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

You're merely suffering the ironic wrath of being good at your job.

[coloraDOOM]

Maybe I should be worse?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Allow me to introduce you to a little concept called "strategic incompetence".

[R C Dean]

Nobody dumps a project on me unless they are my boss.

Or really cute. I'm personally shepherding a minor dietary license rule change through the agency now, because our Director of Food Services is a total babe.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Oh ENB, you devil...

[Raven Nation]

The AAUP explains the Friedrichs decision:

Today the Supreme Court rejected attempts by anti-union forces to render agency fee unconstitutional in the public sector in the case Friedrichs v. California Teachers Association. The Court upheld an appellate court decision that found agency fee constitutional, stating in full, "The judgment is affirmed by an equally divided Court." Thus, the law remains as it has for over forty years. This is good news for AAUP unions and for our brothers and sisters throughout working America.

However, the attacks on agency fee and collective bargaining are far from over. Efforts to eliminate agency fee and otherwise weaken unions are multiplying at the state level and more challenges may be heard by the Supreme Court.

[GILMORE?]

Michigan prosecutor resigns amid sex charges

Local media reported that Dunnings faces one felony charge and 14 misdemeanor charges, brought in Ingham county as well as Clinton and Ionia counties, for patronage of prostitutes from 2010 to 2015.

I'm sure the info is publicly available, but it would be interesting to note in any of this coverage how many prostitutes were prosecuted under his time in office.

[Bra Ket]

How can they prosecute someone over patronizing prostitutes 6 years ago? I'm asking for my friend.

[GILMORE?]

"So, like, we get a free case of beer now, ey?"

Company looking into claim that rodent was in green bean can

[Fist of Etiquette]

The important thing is that Team Trump can get donations out of this.

[GILMORE?]

Speaking of Trump spending...

He spends almost nothing because he doesn't need to. Because a quick glance at any major newspaper has 10:1 stories about him versus anyone else.

the "all publicity is good publicity" rule certainly seems to work in his case. By contrast, Hillary's spent a couple hundred million, and probably thanks god every day there are NO stories about her in the papers.

[GILMORE?]

Democrat Islamophobia

[Crusty Juggler]

The bruises were planted! Of course!

[GILMORE?]

Trump also suggested that if Fields had been squeezed hard enough to bruise, she would have screamed

If they don't scream it means they're enjoying it. And if they DO scream, it means they're enjoying it.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

She and her WaPo sub-boy got their story straight and then pressed a tequila bottle to her arm until bruises formed.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Oh, ENB, you are devious. First you get Shackford to sit on the links and now the post links update. You'll win the internetz today, hands down.

[SIV]

Millennials need to save $1.8- $2.5 million for retirement if they hope to enjoy a $30-40k a year lifestyle in retirement

Should be easy.

[GILMORE?]

more like $6m

[coloraDOOM]

THAT'S WHY WE NEED FREE COLLEGE AND TO RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE SHITLORD

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

"The oldest Millennials, assuming they have no money set aside today and that they earn 5% on their investments, will need to sock away $2,000 a month for 32 years to accumulate a $1.8 million nest egg. And the youngest Millennials would need to save $1,000 a month for 48 years to accumulate $2.4 million."

Stop right there Citizen !!!!!

Have you paid for your Government Mandated Health Insurance ????

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

If you can afford to save that much, then you can afford to pay for "YOUR FAIR SHARE" in taxes.

[Zeb]

How long are they planning to be in retirement?

[DesigNate]

I don't plan to ever retire so I guess I've got that going for me.

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

OMG !!! THIS MAN GRABBED MY SENSITIVE FEMALE ARM AS I WAS ASKING A TOUGH QUESTION, AND BEING THE TOUGH WOMAN THAT I AM GOT A BOO BOO !!!
I GONNA SUE BECAUSE I AM A EMPOWERED WOMAN !!!!

[Crusty Juggler]

Exactly.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

He got every fact of this situation 100% right.

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

I have no sympathy for any of these people.

[Crusty Juggler]

You said it, chum.

[Old Mexican Mighty Aggressor]

Re: InterDimensionalSpacePyrate,

THIS MAN GRABBED MY SENSITIVE FEMALE ARM AS I WAS ASKING A TOUGH QUESTION

Michelle was forcefully yanked by Lewandowski. You can see in the tape that she's not only stopped but pulled back by El Trumpo's campaign manager. That's battery, whether you like it or not.

Michelle has stated that she was only looking for an apology from Mr. Lewandowski and that he said he was going to offer one. Instead, the man - like the coward he is - decided to deny the incident and, instead, defame Fields. That is when she decided to file a police report so that the still-fresh evidence could be gathered.

You may think this is no big deal. I say that nobody has a right to put his or her hands on someone else and, least of all, commit an act of aggression against someone.

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

Harden the Fuck up OM.
So of us deal with aggression on a daily basis, and deal with it according to the NAP.

[Zeb]

That seems to describe what she has done pretty well.

[Old Mexican Mighty Aggressor]

Re: InterDimentionalSpacePyrate,

Harden the Fuck up OM.

What?

So of us deal with aggression on a daily basis, and deal with it according to the NAP.

The fact that YOU or I can DEAL with aggression is NOT justification FOR aggression, Inter. I am talking about JUSTIFICATION, and that is exactly what you are doing.

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzcv5TJkJBA

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

If a Government takes away my personal ability to make a living for myself, how is it wrong if I steal from that Government ??

[Hamster of Doom]

Only if you have principles.

Fortunately, this does not appear to apply!

[R C Dean]

Michelle was forcefully yanked by Lewandowski.

The security vid I saw didn't really look like that to me. But its choppy, and confirmation bias is in the air.

[Zeb]

She touched my special area!

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unkIVvjZc9Y

[Heroic Mulatto]

You're right, you know. Lost your job to a Chinese who can do it 10 times cheaper?

HARDEN THE FUCK UP!

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

GODDAMIT I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW FOR BEING A SQUIRRLE !!!!

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4rSZP0nNCc

[josh]

now multiply this nauseating nonsense by four years.

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

Eight, if we're lucky.

[Crusty Juggler]

Which song best describes this thread?

My guess: I'm The Walrus

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

+ 1 Like

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Look at the bright side, we didn't blow 300+ comments on transgender bathroom issues.

[Zeb]

I wonder if I can still recite all the lyrics to that song.

Goo-goo ga joob.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Boop-boo pe-doop.

[R C Dean]

Lets Get Retarded.

[Old Mexican Mighty Aggressor]

Trump also suggested that if Fields had been squeezed hard enough to bruise, she would have screamed.

That... man... is an idiot. Or a pathological liar.

This was soon followed by Trump wondering "Why aren't people looking at this reporters earliest statement as to what happened, that is before she found out the episode was on tape?"

Whatever the fuck for, you imbecile? There's now THREE videos showing exactly what happened and in all of them you can see that her story matches the evidence perfectly, whereas it has been Corey Lewandowski who has been changing HIS story many times, first denying he was even close to Fields (a lie) or that it was him who touched her (another lie) or that he put those bruises in her arm (arguably a lie, considering he has lied several times about what happened).

And to think that the conservative journalist (Fields) would've been happy with a simple but sincere apology from Lewandowski or the Trumpista campaign. But no.

[Richie]

An apology is an admission of guilt. She could easily get him charged for assault using the apology as her prosecution. He didn't punch her in the face, choke her out, etc... you do know that's something bouncers do in night clubs to men they don't like? Yeah, do you plan on incriminating a bouncer because he didn't want you on the property and kicked your ass? Toughen up...

[Francisco d'Anconia]

An apology is an admission of guilt.

Well, he IS guilty. There is incontrovertible video of the incident with secondary video that supports the original's authenticity.

So, one can admit their wrongdoing and apologise with the hopes of her being gracious and magnanimous by not pressing charges OR you can play the fucking bully, attempt to assassinate her character, force her to defend her good name by pressing charges and ENSURING a conviction.

[Heroic Mulatto]

The dude was a cop. He's following his training.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

*apologize

Is apologise an alternate spelling? It didn't flag.

[Hamster of Doom]

UK spelling sometimes slips past spellchecks. I did a fair bit of editing a while back, most of it for foreigners. Enough that my spellcheck was set to UK English and it became a habit, for which US spellcheck still dings me from time to time.

"Behaviour" seems to be the one I'll never shake.

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

Shit Francisco.... I never thought you or OM would be anti 1st Amendment apologists.

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

You might as well defend someone walking down Harlem wearing a KKK ghost costume. Personal responsibility my ass.

[josh]

"He...choke her out, etc."

just curious, what kind of porn are you into?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Max Hardcore, obviously.

[Richie]

Yeah man, the type of stuff on facebook:

https://youtu.be/XAX5kzDeEw4

[John]

They don't give a fuck. They know that everyone hates the media and no publicity is bad publicity. So they don't care. In fact the benefit from your outrage. That is not a good thing but it is the way it is.

And don't feel bad for the reporter. She is eating the publicity up just as much as Trump. It is all one big cynical show. Someone above had it right when they asked if it were possible for both sides to lose.

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

You die, the girls dies, we all die.

[Zeb]

I think she comes out looking a bit better than the Trump people. They are the ones who lied and did, it appears, technically commit a battery, albeit one that would under any other circumstances not lead to any charges.

I don't give a shit. It doesn't tell us anything interesting or new about anyone.

[Bra Ket]

I don't see this sticking to Trump to the degree you are implying by using "they" for everything. The other guy is the one who takes the fall if there is one to take. Trump is just a closely-connected bystander reveling in the attention as usual, giving his opinions on everything daily like it's the Trump radio show.

[Richie]

You know, I have gone through numerous instances where I have been assaulted by cops. If anyone were try to start up controversy for a popular democrat candidate, they would fear that they're likely be assaulted. This woman needs to grow up. Realize you're trying to defy military might, police order, public opinion... The norm is that people are MURDERED for doing what she tries to do. What the fuck is she going to really expect? People just put up with the shit because they're in the USA? Welcome to the real world, nobody gives a hoot. I hope Trump wins... These liberals deserve him

[Zeb]

Well, that was well reasoned, insightful and coherent.

[Richie]

It's missing a few words, yes.

[Ken Shultz]

It needed more caps.

[Old Mexican Mighty Aggressor]

Re: Richie,

This woman needs to grow up.

You're crazy. Do you know that? First of all, Michelle has handled this situation as well as any level-headed person has. She asked for an apology; she gave every opportunity to someone she though was a man to apologize to her. When the Trumpistas and him started to DEFAME her is when she called the cops on him.

Second, what makes you think that being tough justifies aggression? I just want to know.

[Richie]

If you ever get in a car accident, don't apologize.

[paranoid android]

Did you have to train and practice to become so contemptible, or does it come naturally?

[Richie]

It seems like you've practiced more. You're trying to impose the government's will upon Trump. Go get fucked, fool. Get near me and you're going to get hit upside the head. That's you're fault for getting near me, not mine.

[Richie]

*no edit button

[paranoid android]

Only one of us is threatening people like a fucking thug. Clearly you've learned your lessons well from Daddy Trump.

[Richie]

Yeah, surely the democrats haven't showed me what can be accomplished through passive-aggressiveness.

[John]

Michelle Fields is riding this story like a horse. This is going to make her career and she knows it. Good for her. But spare me the victim bit. Those whole thing is two master media whores working the crowd.

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

"Michelle Fields is riding this story like a horse."

More like she is riding it like a porn star.

[Loki]

I'd like to see that...

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

Don't pick on my OM !!!!!

[Crusty Juggler]

The second theme song for the day (and probably every other day).

[InterDimentionalSpacePyrate]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZLIcQf47TQ

=D

[Loki]

This seems appropriate.

[josh]

as i understand it, the police merely issue a finding of if this meets the statutory requirements of battery. since it does, you can't say this wouldn't have been charged in any other case, because all that's been done so far is basically acknowledging that the evidence is there. as for a trial, that another step and the prosecutor has until may to really decide if that's going to happen.

[jarflax]

The requirements for Battery are:
1. Deliberately
2. Touch someone
3. Against there will

I don't think the video shows anything worth talking about, but it definitely shows a Battery. Battery is to violence as Trespass is to property crime.

[jarflax]

*their

[GroundTruth]

What's this cr*p of sticking twitter boxes into the article? It really makes it bloody difficult to read. I expect this sort of thing on CNN.com, but here? Cut it out, please!

[Sevo]

"Gun disguised as smartphone hides in plain sight"
[...]
"Part of what this allows people to do is carry a weapon without engaging in (a Second Amendment) conversation," Ideal Conceal CEO Kirk Kjellberg told the New York Daily News. "This way, you don't have to have a .38 or .44 strapped to your waist, you can carry it in your front pocket."

But if guns can be disguised as smartphones, police confronting suspects carrying phones would conceivably have more reason to use deadly force."
http://www.sfgate.com/technolo.....216000.php

The cops ALREADY shoot people for holding hose nozzles, so why the concern?

[JLB]

Let me help you with part of this story you missed:

1) Moments before this she has touched Trump twice and was twice warned by Secret Service agents to watch it.
2) The prosecutor in Florida bring the charges, is official part of Team Hillary in Florida.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Jesus Christ, CAN WE NOT GET SOME PM LYNX TO SAVE US FROM THE TRUMPTARDATION!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, REASON!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE !!!!!1112ep0fwef

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

sorry - CLEVER of them to move this post to the top

YOUR EVIL KNOWS NO BOUNDS, REASON!!!!

*shakes fist*

[Loki]

*peaks in, sees 426 comments and counting, slowly backs away*

[Heroic Mulatto]

Here, just listen to this instead.

[juris imprudent]

I just came to display my happy face about the USMNT tonight.

[Rhywun]

The junior team, not so much.

[Rhywun]

Been working from home after getting back from the office. What's new with Trump?

[Suthenboy]

How did you find out about working from home? How much do you make? Did you hear about it from your dry cleaner's sisters cousin's husband's co-worker?

[Rhywun]

Sister; 75000 a week; yes?

[Suthenboy]

There is a good guy and a bad guy in every story.

*looks at story - scratches head*

My side is the good one, right?

[Warty]

As long as your side is not Trump, sure.

[GILMORE?]

Do you believe that there exists a "side" that finds this story stupid...

....and finds the people pumping it significant silly hysterical victim-mongers...

...and yet aren't any more "supporters of Trump" or "pro-Trump" than you are?

[GILMORE?]

"" finds the people pumping it [as something] significant silly hysterical victim-mongers....""

[RBS]

Yeah, I don't really understand the position some people seem to have adopted that not hating Trump and denouncing everything surrounding him at all times is basically the same as supporting Trump.

[GILMORE?]

They don't bother to ever actually explain it either.

[This Machine]

You mean screaming YOKEL at the top of your lungs doesn't count as an explanation?

[Sevo]

"Couple poses with a burrito in baby photo shoot spoof"
[...]
"A Texas couple did a baby photo shoot with a burrito?and it's really touching..."
http://www.sfgate.com/mommyfil.....to-9719132

[buybuydandavis]

This is all this ever was.

Reporter crowds presidential candidate, and is restrained by staff.

But she's a girl! And he's Trump! So it's pants shitting hysterics as far as the eye can see.

[GILMORE?]

And your observation of this makes you a MRA, NeoReactionary member of the Yokel SS who obviously condones rape.

[buybuydandavis]

Anyone who was paying attention would have already known all that!

[Dr. Mister]

If somebody gets close to me in a crowded room that I'm walking through, and one of my friends grabs that person by the wrist and yanks them away, hard enough to leave bruises, isn't that assault?

Or is there a special exemption from assault laws for presidential candidates and their staff?

If it was a non-story and Lewandowski didn't do anything wrong, why was he lying after it happened?

[GILMORE?]

If somebody gets close to me in a crowded room that I'm walking through, and one of my friends grabs that person by the wrist and yanks them away, hard enough to leave bruises, isn't that assault?

maybe it is, maybe it isn't. It depends how aggrieved each party is and how much they like to resolve their problems by bringing The Law down on one another.

One thing it surely *isn't*, is something anyone else should really give a shit about.

[buybuydandavis]

Or is there a special exemption from assault laws for presidential candidates and their staff?

I don't know the details of the law, but if you're under Secret Service protection, different rules do seem to apply.

Why don't you go up and try to grab the President and see what happens?

If it was a non-story and Lewandowski didn't do anything wrong, why was he lying after it happened?

Maybe he's a liar. Maybe he hoped nothing was on tape. Maybe it was a trivial non issue to him that he had done a thousand times to keep people off Trump, and didn't even remember the event. It really didn't look all that exciting to me.

[egould310]

Dengue Fever

http://youtu.be/zvgAti1_CAE

Julee Cruise

http://youtu.be/AWSPZyM0D5c

[egould310]

Allah La's

http://youtu.be/yFD5KqPC25E

The Tyde

http://youtu.be/Axv1vndndvw

[GILMORE?]

So "World Music" means, "bands from other countries" now? I used to think it actually had to be something other than Western-style pop/rock/jazz/soul style-music.

re: the Julee Cruise thing.... listening to it, my first thought was, "This sounds like something David Lynch would enjoy"... and then the first comments i see are about a reboot of Twin Peaks?

[Crusty Juggler]

The third season is supposedly coming out early next year.

[GILMORE?]

There have been 2 seasons already of a Twin Peaks V2.0?

This just shows how much i don't watch TV. (buffs credentials)

[Crusty Juggler]

No silly goose. There were two seasons in the early 90s, and the planned season would be season three.

[egould310]

Dengue Fever is comprised of L A hiipsters as a backing band. The vocalist is from 3 generations of Cambodian pop singers. They play some authentic sounding 60's Cambodian rock n roll (according to music writers).

Julee Cruise sings Angelo Badalamente tunes, written by David Lynch for Twin Peaks/Fire Walk With Me/ some oerformance art piece. Kinda' electronic, downbeat, soundtrack, ambient, retro rock n roll, etc. Check out the whole Into The Night album.

Thanks for listening.

[egould310]

And because this whole fucking Trump versus Michelke Fields thing is so fucking boring; I thought I'd post a few more tunes that are in the rotation right now.

The Cowsills

http://youtu.be/vhb5cXBifAs

Sagittarius

http://youtu.be/HXhUTnhlLnU

[egould310]

The Magic Gang

http://youtu.be/uZLEGWzkaKY

The Wonder Stuff

http://youtu.be/BTK33oUDVrE

[egould310]

Wild Nothing

http://youtu.be/J8mvoaCK6hI

Chris Storrow

http://youtu.be/d5my5l9O-z0

[egould310]

Gumball

http://youtu.be/h_01bGcIN_Y

Pinkshinyultrablast

http://youtu.be/5G0hDrn-XFs

[straffinrun]

Looks like I missed the all the fun.
Antidisestablishmentrumpentarianism.

[straffinrun]

Also, all you guys lose your geek status for no one posting the obvious Trump comparision..

[GILMORE?]

I always thought this was the most accurate anology for the Trump/Shove scenario

Then there's my mash-up attempting to capture the emotional tone of how the media has decided to portray the issue so far

[straffinrun]

Holy shit, you see the way that head came apart man? I never saw brains like that before, man.

[straffinrun]

And if that's your mashup, well done.

[GILMORE?]

The fact that the "shove" and the 'death of Elias' happened to synchronize perfectly was a complete coincidence, but a happy one.

[buybuydandavis]

Two geek points for you!

This is what the internet is for!

[This Machine]

No new articles, huh? We're still going on about this fucking mess?

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

Well there's the new Trailer Park Boys season on Netflix

[This Machine]

Good deal. I'll check that out.

[egould310]

Jus

[JeremyR]

What Trump's campaign had done to Fields is nothing to what they'd done to Amanda Carpenter. Holy crap, what a bunch of slimeballs.

[lap83]

I just don't get why I should care about anyone or anything in this story. Why does any of this matter? Maybe if I used Twitter I'd understand.

[Hamster of Doom]

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIEEEE.

So, how've you been, Lap? Doing anything interesting and stuff now that the weather is turning?

[lap83]

Good thanks, actually I have to go to northern MN in a couple of days for my uncle's funeral..so that's sad.
But I have good news too, my husband and I are expecting (our first) in October...so with any luck I'll be too distracted and happy/tired to care when our next supreme overlord is elected.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Husband???? I'm so done with you!

Seriously though, I thought you already had kids. I don't know why, but I feel like you already had at least 2 kids.

Congrats, I won't drop any spoilers other than the horror stories I've told.

[lap83]

Thanks.

My little sister is 12 years younger than me so I was expected to help and I shouldn't be completely blindsided. My mom says I cried a lot less though (yes, my sister's a liberal..how'd you guess?) so hopefully that characteristic is passed down.

[Playa Manhattan.]

So... the deal was?
-Find a new job
-Get pregnant right away

Sneaky sneaky.

Get a miracle blanket, that'll cut down on the crying by 50%.

[lap83]

I'm afraid to Google that after the sybian....

[lap83]

OK I braved the Google search and I'm pretty sure it's not a sex toy..so thanks for the tip

[lap83]

I don't get any leave, so it wasn't really well planned. I'm sort of procrastinating telling my boss. He's happy with me and my work, so I don't think he'd fire me on the spot...but you never know

[Hamster of Doom]

Uncle - sad, my condolences. I do hope it was at least painless and easy on the man.

Baby - Holy. Shit. Ferreals? Awesome! Can I crochet something? Can I organize a shower of totally inappropriate gifts? Please please please!

BACK OFF, you cunts. I asked first.

[lap83]

Yeah! Let's do a H&R shower! I'll have to deal with everyone getting drunk except for me, but I'll get over it

[Hamster of Doom]

BAM.

Never gives me the reins of power, lady. TOO LATE NOW.

This will be legendary. The potential for shenanigans are fantastic. I expect everyone to rise to the occasion horribly.

If nothing else, the porn you get will encourage a second.

Due date?

[lap83]

Oct 10

[lap83]

Time for me to turn in, thanks again for the well wishes though.

[Sevens]

Congratulations. I wish your family happiness.

(Being so serious that I've decided to only do the pieces of the joke: lap's signature happy dance; lap dance.)

[GILMORE?]

Oh no, another Libra. We're the worst.

I often explain to people = "I don't believe in Astrology because i'm a Libra"

Maybe 1 in 5 get the joke.

[Playa Manhattan.]

You're thinking about a sybian, aren't you? Motorbunny starter kit?

[egould310]

Congratulations!

[Palin's Buttplug]

The Buttplug Letter - preview.

Trump has the redneck vote in a lock 97%. Trump has the Wahibi Christian vote 67% to Cruz 30%. Trump has the NeoCon War boner crowd locked up too.

He is a true GOP god-like nominee.

[Sevo]

Palin's Buttplug|3.29.16 @ 11:10PM|#
"he Buttplug Letter - preview."

Go fuck your daddy, turd.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Your subscription is cancelled effective immediately.

[Hamster of Doom]

Not as if he paid for it...

HMMMM?

[Playa Manhattan.]

Money order is in the mail.

[Sevo]

It's also not as if I cared about it.

[Playa Manhattan.]

That was a rip on PB for not paying his bet.

[Sevo]

I was riffing on HoD's comment; yours was as plain as day:
Turd keeps claiming he paid, but he's also the slime bag who, when the tip money disappears off the bar, says: "Who? Me?"
And is surprised when everyone says: "YES! YOU!"

[Lillian Cooper]

I am making 67 bucks hourly working from home. I never thought that it was legitimate but my best friend is earning $10 thousand a month by working online, that was really surprings for me, she recommended me to try it. You will lose nothing, just try it out on the following website.

????

http://www.ReportMax90.com

[Glide]

Our top two national politics stories are now an Enquirer story about adultery and a leading candidate tweeting about what a bitch some journalist is. After we already had a full news cycle dominated by the same candidate tweeting about what a bitch a SEPARATE journalist is.

2016 is the worst.

[Glide]

Well, I'm not sure Trump can be a strong world leader now that he's revealed his incredible fear of pens. There are people who have been known to use pens in some foreign countries.

Scary.

[morganthomas1236]

Before I saw the bank draft which had said $9426 , I didnt believe that...my... brother woz like actualy earning money part-time at there labtop. . there uncles cousin has done this 4 less than fifteen months and by now repaid the dept on there place and got a great new Mini Cooper . read the full info here ...

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[tuvevix]

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail.
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[freeewill]

Its been said that SS body guards had warned her to get out of the way, Brietbart is owned by Pro-Cruz Super-Pac funder Robert Mercer, need i say more, thats the root of this problem, that crybaby is the pawn

[rubyross]

uptil I saw the bank draft four $8760 , I be certain ...that...my sister woz actually bringing in money part time from there labtop. . there neighbour had bean doing this 4 only about eighteen months and resently cleard the depts on there home and bourt a top of the range Chrysler ....

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[ashleycox0025]

Before I saw the bank draft which had said $9426 , I didnt believe that...my... brother woz like actualy earning money part-time at there labtop. . there uncles cousin has done this 4 less than fifteen months and by now repaid the dept on there place and got a great new Mini Cooper . read the full info here ...

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[Karlthegreat1]

If he is charged she should be charged with same for grabbing the Don. is that really an offence if not really hurt or then I should have thousands of complaints about my life by girls at bars. or better yet the times I was more than hurt by cops that grabbed and twisted and kneed and stepped on tactics I should really have some law suits oh but they were not on camera!! or I don't have the money required to vs the Louisville Kentucky police department for criminal tactics etc...So what I am saying is as cops have different standards like her. she acted first and wants different results for what she did (nothing) than from what he did (being the exact same thing) grabbing someone to get attention and for attention to ask a question or saying back off, the same offence was committed. "what's good for the goose is good for the gander".

[Sevens]

Alright. Campaign manager's are not supposed to forcefully throw (female) reporters to the ground, and apparently also not to shake them. What about gently throwing to the ground? Stirring is okay, right?

[sandracox]

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[nightinglo]

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[rubyjones554456]

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[loisperez12345]

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[kariwells]

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[susanlong0001]

til I saw the draft which was of $6881 , I didnt believe that my mother in law had been realy taking home money part-time on their laptop. . there best friend has done this 4 only twelve months and at present took care of the mortgage on there condo and got a top of the range Subaru Impreza . Learn More ....

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[esteve7]

"Donald Trump is this in the 2016 election

'What is: a plant for Hillary?'

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

ENB is too busy laughing and swilling her appletini.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Perhaps ENB is running the links today and is intentionally withholding them for the hits. /conspiracy theorist

[Juvenile Bluster]

No, Robby's the one with the appletini. ENB's drinking vodka, straight, and hanging out with a group of sex workers.

[Citizen X]

If Robby doesn't ingest a certain amount of Sour Apple Pucker every day, that hair of his will start to wilt. Is that what you want?

[R C Dean]

Dang. I might have to look into this "reporter" gig.

[bacon-magic]

Pics or it isn't happening. I want all the pics too. Not just from the top camera, either.

[Ken Shultz]

That would make sense.

The more people pay attention to Hillary, the less they like her.

[Hamster of Doom]

The preservatives keep his boyish good looks fresh.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

If you had to get drunk with one Reason writer, who would it be?

Robby could give me hair tips, but he seems like a crier. ENB would frighten me.

[Crusty Juggler]

If you had to get drunk with one Reason writer, who would it be?

Richman. I want to get weird.

[This Machine]

If you had to get drunk with one Reason writer, who would it be?

Ed Krayewski seems like a pretty cool guy. And his alt-text is on point. Dude's got his shit together.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Lenore Skenazy. So we could laugh about the terrible responses to the weekly humor challenges.

[Hamster of Doom]

"Had to." I'd pay for the privilege.

Shackford. Hands down. Not even a contest.*

*Sorry, Jacket! My devotion you remains undiminished, but alas, I must answer honestly and not as the heart moves me.

[R C Dean]

I might go with JD Too-damn-chilly.

[Catatafish & Woodchips]

"Richman. I want to get weird."

I'm a pretty peaceable guy but I don't know if I could trust myself.

[bacon-magic]

Keep the empty bottle near you...he might think you are a Joooooooooooo.

[Irish ?s Lauren Southern]

Crusty is just like Adam Lanza

[Crusty Juggler]

Another

[Crusty Juggler]

Lenore Skenazy. So we could laugh about the terrible responses to the weekly humor challenges.

HEY

[mad.casual]

Yup.

[Crusty Juggler]

Crusty is just like Adam Lanza

which means I am like Chris Kyle, too? Thank you?

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

WHERE MY ANONYMITY GONE??

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Syd the Bitch? No, he's the first to go up against the wall. I'm a fucking Wings fan, for fuck's sake. Fuck Syd the Bitch. He's worse than that pussy Jaromir Jagr and his tiny, tiny Trump-like feet.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

And you post a great pic of her to plead your case?

[Bra Ket]

it's an affirmative defense.

[Bubba Jones]

Dreads are better than a top knot.

[Zeb]

I think a lot of people look good with dreads. No accounting for taste.

[Zeb]

The smell, on the other hand...

[Crusty Juggler]

And some people look like this.

[Zeb]

I mean, he looks like an idiot. But it kind of works for him.