Media Criticism

People Magazine Wants You to Bug Your Representatives for More Gun Laws; What do the People Think?

Not what People wants them to think.


People magazine made news today by taking a stand and asking all its readers to contact their elected representatives (with contact info provided) in the name of doing something to (further) halt gun violence (which the story doesn't note has been largely on a downhill climb from a 90s height).

As usual, they don't say specifically what they want done legally (since saying what and comparing the likely effects of that "what" to most of the kinds of gun violence that make news and make people write things like this would reveal the two have no connection), merely that they want to ensure Congress is "looking for solutions and not giving up."

Jesse Walker wrote for us last year about a study that found that even terrible public tragedies have no apparent long term effect on people's attitudes about guns:

Josh Blackman, a law professor, and Shelby Baird, a political scientist, have published an interesting paper in theConnecticut Law Review on what they call "the shooting cycle"—the pattern the public reaction seems to follow in the wake of a widely covered mass shooting….

Looking at polling data from the last few shooting cycles, Blackman and Baird conclude that there isn't just a regression to the mean, but that "the mean is in fact declining. In other words, after each spike subsides, support for gun control is even lower than it was before the shooting." They don't think this pattern is inevitable, but for now, "Less support for gun control laws after tragedies is the normal reaction to mass shootings. Not the other way around."

In the wake of last week's Oregon murders, NBC News sums up the bad news for People:

when you look at the poll numbers Americans are not clambering for gun control, particularly when you look at the number over time…

Gallup has been asking the same question on gun laws since 1990: In general, do you feel that the laws covering the sale of firearms should be made more strict, less strict, or kept as they are now? And in that time the percentage of Americans calling for the laws to be tightened has fallen sharply.

In 1990, 78% of Americans said they believed the laws should be made "more strict." In 2014, that "more strict" number was 47%. That's a 31-point drop in support for tighter gun sale laws.

Events like this week's Oregon shooting matter. In the days following the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in December of 2012, Gallup's "more strict" number climbed to 58%. But that poll was within a week of the shooting and in less than a year, the number was back down to 49%….

Kevin Drum of Mother Jones with more bad news for his readers who want to believe the people's will means more gun control:

I routinely read lefties who quote polls to show that the country agrees with us on pretty much everything. Voters support teachers, they support the environment, they support financial reform, they support gun control.

But this is a bad misreading of what polls can tell us. There are (at least) two related problems here:

• Most polls don't tell us how deeply people feel. Sure, lots of American think that universal background checks are a good idea, but they don't really care that much. In a recent Gallup poll of most important problems, gun control ranked 22nd, with only 2 percent rating it their most important issue. Needless to say, though, gun owners are opposed to background checks, and they care a lot.

• Most polls don't tell us about the tradeoffs people are willing to make. In the abstract, sure, maybe a majority of Americans think we should make it harder to buy guns. But if there's a real-world price to pay how willing are they to pay it? A few months ago, a Pew poll that pitted gun control against gun rights found that gun rights won by 52-46 percent.

NEXT: Watch Matt Welch Talk Ben Carson and Guns on MSNBC's All in at 8:30 pm ET

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  1. Sometimes man you jsut have to roll with it. Wow.

  2. OT: I think Agile Cyborg found the Facebook profile of one of my friends:

    So, you think that all is becoming better and better? That would be nice.Have not fought a War in decades? Pipe dream. Crushing illness’s a thing of the past? We have more illness’s than ever; most due to GMO abuse’s. China and Russia have unprecedented freedoms? You need to dig a bit deeper. The only perception on foreign freedom is one fed to liberal news sources. Ask your Mom and dad. They know this is an endtimes smoke screen. The problem will be understanding the truth amid all the background feeds. There is an undeniable acceptance of the status quo . This is a generational deniability that occurs every 30 to 40 years. in it… the younger generation accepts that mistakes documented by recent history would , by all present information, show that the ” older generation ” IE, the baby boomer generation, missed the mark and allowed ( by inactivity) the current situation in the World to be passed on , with little to no corrections, to the younger generation.

    1. Continued:

      In fact, this is the way of generational disparity and situational hierarchy. To be sure , this occurs generation by generation until either WAR or Horrific natural disaster shuffles the deck, ( so to speak). The point here is that an up-coming generation expects that they can and should be able to CHANGE the future of the World. And they should! But be aware that millions have tried and only hundreds will be remembered as doing so. Are you one that will change the future? We all hope and pray so !!

      1. /drops cigarette from lips.

        What. The. Fuck.

      2. Not enough throbbing stuff or cosmic objects.

        1. LOL, true. And mentions of drugs and alcohol.

      3. There is that old idea that you can know a lot about a person’s character by the company they keep. I know that doesn’t reflect well on us Reasonoids, but wow.

        Just … wow.

  3. I’m going to boycott People next time I’m at my physician’s office.

    1. But don’t you want to know about that disco craze that just broke out? And what about the interview with the stars of All In the Family? Or the 25 Most Intruiging People of 1978?

    2. Is that who has the bulk of People‘s subscriptions?

      Better be careful, there, HM-some docs already think that “gun violence” is a disease…

      1. People is like the Reader’s Digest for reality show watchers.

    3. I like to leave copies of Guns&Ammo; everywhere I go. Like Johnny Appleseed.

      1. You are an American hero!

      2. Good idea.I actually have a shitload of old gun magazines. Guess I need to figure out where I can start leaving them. I try not to buy any more. Save my money for the toys.

    4. The one time I showed up for jury duty I entertained myself by reading Yachting. My takeaway was that public employees are grossly overpaid.

      1. Magazine publishers dump a certain % of stuff on institutional buyers (govt, hospitals, airlines, schools, etc) Travel, Food, and esoteric recreation stuff like that is the core of it.

        1. These bore the address labels of a judge. It was either Yachting or Blacktress.

    5. My doc only has Surfing Magazine. I was there today.

    6. I was just in the dentist office, early, and didn’t even get the chance to read Newsweek. Never mentioned it, but previous barber shop (with a signed picture of Ted Nugent and apparently frequented by the Reverend Al when he was in town) did have a rogue copy of reason in there between Guns n’ Ammo and Soldier of Fortune(do they still publish that?) — not even left by me.)

  4. Don’t you just feel terrible for the gun banners? I know I do. Boo hoo. Maybe a little cry would help them feel better.

    1. I don’t mind the cycle of pants-shitting “DO SOMETHING!!!!!!” op-eds that follow a shooting because it inevitably yields the yummy tears of gun grabbers realizing their impotence.

      1. Well, also there is the fact that if these studies are accurate, the pants-shitting “DO SOMETHING!!!” op-eds may in fact be inoculating people against them, like a variant on the Boy Who Cried Wolf. These fucking moron ban-happy animist scum are incredibly stupid, and they don’t even realize that if they keep saying the sky is going to fall and *it never does*, people are going to stop listening to their squealing, sniveling predictions of doom.

        And it appears that people are stopping. That makes the BAN BONER crowd’s tears even yummier and sweeter. I want more!

        1. “…”DO SOMETHING!!!” op-eds may in fact be inoculating people against them,…”

          That is exactly what is happening. I watched it in real time after Sandy Hook. People specifically cited that the proposals the dems were putting forward would not have stopped the shooting and would be unlikely to stop any others. I remember several of those and some of the interviewees stating that they felt the grabbers were disingenuous.

          “scum are incredibly stupid, and they don’t even realize that if they keep saying the sky is going to fall and *it never does*, people are going to stop listening to their squealing, sniveling predictions of doom.”

          Shhhh. The AGW crowd might get a hint.

      2. something something DO SOMETHING something something…

        1. Ohio Bill would require new schools to have active-shooter safety features


      3. I’d like to be as sanguine as you, but living in CT, I anticipate a further round of pants-shitting-PLUS-legislation.

        Fuckwits over here are far from impotent.

  5. Who wants to go comment fishing at Mother Jones? I’ll start with an easy one

    Maybe it’s time for gun control advocates to adopt the tactics of the pro-life advocates and show graphic photographs of the results of gun violence. Gun rights activists are the beneficiaries of a lot of willful ignorance.

    Because we all know it’s harder to get an abortion than a gun in US. I mean, hell, half the population isn’t even allowed to ask for it, let alone get access to it.

    1. Who’s worse when it comes to gun control – Canadians or Americans?

      It’s way different culture up here when it comes to guns it seems.

      1. Canadians, of course. Half the stuff Americans freak out about are things that are law in Canada.

        Fuck, you aren’t allowed handgun until you licence yourself, register it and, oh yes, plead with the government to let you have one:

        There are a few purposes for which individuals can be licensed to acquire or possess a restricted firearm, the most common being target practice or target shooting competitions, or as part of a collection.

        In limited circumstances, restricted firearms are also allowed for use in connection with one’s lawful profession or occupation, or to protect life.

        Self-defense? Fuck you, unless you’re authorized by The Good and The Right – they want their bodyguards.

        No semi-auto rifles with clips over 5 bullets (thankfully, M1 Garand was grandfathered in and is on the restricted list).

        How about having to have Authorization to Transport in order to carry the gun from one location to another?

        And for any Americans who aren’t afraid to read, here’s rules on Prohibited Firearms in Canada.

        1. I went through it and found it ridiculous.

          To get a handgun is a whole different process.

      2. The US has the best gun laws (but more than I would like). We really are the most free nation in the world. Isn’t that scary?

        1. Top 10 per G&A


          1. This is what angers me about Canada:

            “Canada’s storage requirements include provisions that the guns be unloaded and rendered inoperable or locked. Forget using them for self-defense.”

            When I did my gun course the teacher went out of his way to drill this into our brains.

            If someone enters your home you can’t shoot them. FUCK CANADA for this. The government of Canada is messing around with MY LIFE with shit like this.

            1. Your life? Yours? I think not. You are property of the state.

              That is what they are telling you.

              1. subject, is the word you’re looking for?

          2. Pity the Swiss. Their government capitulated to pressure of shitstains in EU and tightened up the regulation without any popular mandate. Only party that is against it is a nativist, anti immigration party with some dubious ideas.

            1. Only party that is against it is a nativist, anti immigration party with some dubious ideas

              Does it have a newsletter?

          3. No Somalia on that list?

    2. That’s a strange point to make, since one of the main pro-abortion arguments is that “it’s just a clump of cells,” and pictures can be used to dispute that, at least later in pregnancy. Whereas no prominent pro-gun advocate I’m aware of disputes that people killed by guns are, well, people.

      1. It’s the part where they think anti-abortion argument is working that impresses me.

      2. Well, not necessarily a strange point if you realize that gun banners are animists. Like a pro-life person believes that the fetus is a person (I don’t agree but I understand their point), a gun banner believes that guns are “alive”. They believe that guns have agency and can cause people to do things they otherwise wouldn’t. Now, they don’t want to save guns, they want to destroy them, but the reason is because they believe that guns are more than just a piece of metal, just like pro-lifers believe that a fetus is more than just a clump of cells.

        For them to want to adopt emotional tactics is completely unsurprising. I mean, they already do in spades, so one more shouldn’t be surprising.

        1. They Believe that guns are more than a piece of metal

          *Laughs, then looks around quickly, in case magic is real*

        2. Hey, you laugh but just last night I heard my guns trying to get out of their safe. Fortunately I was smart enough to lock it from the outside.

      3. It’s “just a clump of cells” if the mother says it is, but if someone else terminates the pregnancy against the mothers will then that clump of cells suddenly becomes a person so we can charge the offender with murder. yeah, that’s not backwards.

      4. It’s “just a clump of cells” if the mother says it is, but if someone else terminates the pregnancy against the mothers will then that clump of cells suddenly becomes a person so we can charge the offender with murder. yeah, that’s not backwards.

  6. OT:…..yes-we-did

    Domino’s off to Italy.

    I have a weird feeling this may work.

    1. Sure, because the franchise holders are using their own recipe, so it could actually be tasty. Also remember that Italian pizza tends to be very different than what we think of as pizza across the pond. When I was in Rome (this was a long time ago, admittedly), a “pizza” was a small crust with tomato gravy and then a big fat chunk of fresh mozzarella right smack in the center. It was heated in the oven, the mozzarella would melt some and the crust would get cooked. I loved it but other Americans with me hated it because it wasn’t “pizza-like” enough. So Italians might find “American pizza” to be an interesting novelty, especially if the new recipe tastes good.

      1. So you’re saying the Italians invented pizza, and Americans *improved* it?

        1. Chicago perfected it.

          1. Word up!

        2. Americans invented the delivery of pizza. That is all that matters.

        3. I notice the trend in places like NYC and Montreal is to make pizza as they Italians do it.

          Just the way it ought to be. ;

          1. That’s supposed to be a winky happy face.

          2. I prefer my mozzarella greasy and non-artisanal.

          3. I just cranked out a 6 cheese with burrata. Unfortunately, it had turkey pepperoni because of my stupid jew wife. It says right on the package “85% less fat than regular pepperoni!!!”. How am I supposed to recover from that?!?

            1. Poor choice in pepperoni and responsible for 9/11 – have they no shame!

              1. Turkey pepperoni didn’t show up for work that day!

        4. “So you’re saying the Italians invented pizza, and Americans *improved* it?”

          Just like everything else, yes. I pointed this out to a Vietnamese guy once. He had lived in lots of different parts of the world but it was his first visit here. He looked around at this place for a few months and admitted it is true.

          1. Just like everything else, yes.

            Except bread. We took bread and ruined it.

            1. What are you talking about? Two slices of Wonder bread with Skippy peanut butter and marshmallow fluff is a delicacy, you heathen.

      2. I had “pizza” in France once and I wanted to hurl. That is all.

        1. Why would you do that?!? There’s so much delicious French food to be having.

          I had to order a delivery pizza after getting to London just before midnight and not realizing London shuts down at 6 except for the pubs and some restaurants, but that even the pubs shut down by midnight at the latest. It was terrible. Luckily I was able to order beer with the pizza and that made everything better.

          1. Enh because I was poor high school student I guess. I’ll take German cuisine over French anyway.

            1. Poor high school students are so gauche.

              I love German cuisine–the food at the beer halls in Munich was great, and I make a killer paprika schnitzel–but French food is also fantastic, especially southern French as it’s more Mediterranean.

              1. “the food at the beer halls in Munich was great”

                You know who else liked the food at the Munich beer halls?

                1. Tourists?

              2. I had the best paprika rahmschnitzel and spaetzle ever in some hole in the wall shack near the KY-TN border. Some old German dude wanted to live in the mountains evidently. Killer food.

          2. “I had to order a delivery pizza after getting to London just before midnight”

            Oh god.

            The worst part about london is (*was?) the “food choice after ~10PM”. Its fucking ridiculous. I hate the term “Food Desert”, but it actually applies in the case of London. A desert filled with drunk people, whose only option is ‘crisps’, or the dreaded kebab.

            I remember asking people for about a year if there were some absurd regulatory hurdle which prevented there being any competition to the (shudder) Donner Kebab shops that represent the sole “after hours” eats you can reliably find anywhere….. and the answer was always a blank stare and a shrug, as though the idea had never occurred to them.

            Which was sort of the same reaction i got to a lot of food-related issues.

            (*I have heard things have improved. yet i remain skeptical that its widespread beyond the center city, and a bunch of bobo joints)

            You’re lucky you could get a pizza, no matter how rank it was

            1. I was in the Docklands, and luckily the friend who was letting me stay in her place (while she was in my place in NYC in return) had a bunch of menus for takeout and delivery, and there was pizza in that group.

              Though I personally love doner kebab (at least, the German/Turkish kind), so I would have been ok with that (assuming it wasn’t pure shit). In fact Seattle even has a small chain of them that I used to frequent.

              One of the deals with London is that all the pubs have to close by 11 (or 12 if they have a “King’s License”), and I have to assume that means restaurants too (especially if they serve alcohol). After about 12:30 or so there is just no market for nighttime food, and what little there is can be served by pizza delivery or doner kebab. And while the pubs are open, people will just eat there since they’re already there.

              London is not a fun night-time city. At least for tourists; maybe locals know shit. But it was quite the shock coming from NYC where I would order entire meals from the 24 hour diner at 3AM and have it delivered within 20 minutes, to London where I was walking down Downing Street at 6:15PM and wondering why I was in a ghost town.

        2. That should teach you about going near France.

  7. “”the story doesn’t note [gun violence] has been largely on a downhill climb from a 90s height””

    Not only that, they screen out comments trying to point this out.

    Your facts are unhelpful!

    1. I’m in the Portland, OR, area. The local news was going on and on last night about how campus shootings were “on the rise”, never mind that they simply aren’t. They also swallowed that Everytown BS study about the number of school shootings hook, line, and sinker. No amount of facts will get in the way of the narrative.

      The weird thing is that in the past they weren’t too bad on the gun control issue. I think they just can’t pass up a chance to grandstand when something that makes the national news happens on their turf.

      1. An Oregonian myself I’m always surprised that OR, as liberal as it is, doesn’t have worse gun laws. Thank god for rural folk…

  8. Isn’t that sort of like asking a lovely naked girl at a concert in 1969 with a maniac above acres of writhing bodies playing a snake if she wants more acid?

    1. She wants acid, not guns. At that moment. Because her guns are left at home. Because beatnik laws send girls into prisons for hauling iron for self protection on le’ roads. so. But, when she gets home she will shoot some bitch in the head for trying to break in her fucking hovel and stab her in the face with a pitchfork. And the bitch will bleed out because the fucker shouldn’t fuck with acid-tripping bitches alone on top of mountains.

      1. Boy, that got dark at the end.

          1. Tomorrow is a drag. Am I just imagining nipples?


      2. “fucker shouldn’t fuck with acid-tripping bitches alone on top of mountains”

        I’m not making any promises but I will take it under advisement. I wouldn’t violate her hovel by any means though.

        1. there is crazy and then there is acid-tripping crazy .

          1. Back in the 17th century when I did that shit, if someone fucked with me I would have freaked out and run away:)

  9. Too bad summer’s over, because you really ought to take your kids to this museum:

    “?On September 27, in a granite building that once housed a bank in Winsted, Connecticut, the American Museum of Tort Law opened for the first time. The occasion was also the first time attendees?or, frankly, anyone?ever heard the words “tort” and “museum” combined into one phrase. But for longtime consumer advocate and Winsted native Ralph Nader, it was the culmination of 17 years of work.

    “The inspiration came in 1998, when Nader visited plaintiff’s lawyer William Trine in Boulder, Colorado, to look at some exhibits in a major case he had won. “What do trial lawyers do with key exhibits in such cases when they’re over?” Nader asked. “Well, they either store them in boxes or throw them out,” Trine replied. Light bulb!”

    1. Is it weird that I’m not a lawyer, yet this actually sounds like it might be interesting?

      1. I’m not a lawyer, but if I was in CT and had a few spare hours, I’d check it out. It’s not weird; it’s intellectual curiosity.

    2. Probably biased toward the plaintiffs’ bar.

      1. Ya think?

    3. Winsted’s a nice, peaceful, kinda run-down place nowadays. Like a lot of Connecticut’s mid-sized towns, they had a vibrant manufacturing base making machine tools, agricultural doodads and textiles. Now that’s gone, it’s the last town of any size when you travel to the north-west corner of the state.

      If you do fo there, there’s a great restaurant on the West side of the river, named The Tributary. It’s a bit of a blue-hair venue, but the food is excellent. If your expedition to discover Tort Law demands something a little more quotidian, the Winsted Diner is worth a stop too.

  10. “the country agrees with us on pretty much everything. Voters support teachers, they support the environment”

    I’m going to wear my “I hate teachers” shirt tomorrow. It says “I hate the environment” on the back. Who’s with me?!

    1. The guy was actually talking about how *other* leftists put too much faith in respondents’ answers to vague poll questions.

    2. When they say support teachers they mean teacher’s unions. When they say support the environment they mean live in caves.

      1. Drum, like most progs, misses the point. I feel sorry for teachers, at the mercy of stupid rules that pretty much mandate to teaching to the new and improved test that will determine their futures, under the direction of a hyper-bloated and very well-paid bureaucracy of people who would not venture into a classroom to teach at gunpoint.

        Progs never question the admin-heavy nature of systems, they never question why funding goes up every year as results flatline in a good year and drop in bad ones, and why people are clamoring for options.

        1. That’s because it’s all about money and power and union dues going to the right candidates not about education. My mom was a school teacher. She hated that shit.

    3. No clothes for me tomorrow. Heat wave.

      1. Swim trunks, tank top, flip flops, and vodka sours. On the beach, south of the Seal Beach pier. I’m gonna’ try to make it to the Reason cocktail thing… But y’know.

        1. Too drunk to make it is the only excuse I’ll accept.

    4. I’ll wear it if you send me a free one.

  11. Controversy sells magazines. The proper response is to ignore them and those that support them. Ostracism is a perfectly valid method to apply the non-aggression principle to the unprincipled.

  12. OT: For those around here who think decentralization its a libertarian value rather than an often ineffective tactic for increasing liberty, here’s exhibit A to why that is wrong. I saw and ad during the Astros game this week for a PAC (we’re getting a lot of political ads because were coming up on our first truly contested Mayoral election in six years). The ad discussed Houston’s growing budget deficit due to government employee pensions and warned about not becoming Detroit. We need to do something. So far so good. The they mentioned how property taxes would need to be quadrupled to balance the budget. Then ad over and the website for the PAC, Local Control Texas.

    Now this is peculiar, you’d think that PAC with a name like that would be conservative/libertarian or something. But they just ended with quadrupling property tax rates. They didn’t say we should quadruple them, but they didn’t say we should cut those fucking pensions either.

    Well turns out they really do want to quadruple them, and it is a statewide organization for bullshit local government. They advocate preventing those meanies in Austin from among other things: banning plastic bags; banning fracking; banning the sale of alcohol and sex stuff near the childrenz; and “Wage guarantees in city contracts.”

    So a nice hodgepodge of bipartisan statism. This is an example of how decentralization is not pro-liberty in and of itself.

    1. Best part:

      Well-connected think tanks have come out against even basic zoning powers, meaning that cities could not guide their development whatsoever

      The horror! And obviously hilarious when targeted at Houston which is famous for its lack of zoning (kinda) and which even the Democrats don’t mention because its so popular.

    2. “This is an example of how decentralization is not pro-liberty in and of itself.”

      What’s pro-liberty is that you can move. If those were federal laws you would have to leave the country.

      1. What’s pro-liberty is that you can move. If those were federal laws you would have to leave the country.

        And I guess I could go to another planet if the UN passed them, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is infringing on my liberty.

        1. No doubt but the point was about centralization vs de-centralization. If every municipality does it you’re fucked though. Ultimate de-centralization is I decide for myself.

    3. I am always a bit suspicious myself. There is no tyranny like local tyranny from a petty official. City councilmen are not as polished and savvy as senators but they are cut from the same cloth.

  13. Another problem with these polls is pretty basic. I have been asked, “Do you think gun control is an important issue?” — Why yes, I do.

    This is interpreted to mean I favor more and stricter gun control measures — which of course, I don’t.

    1. Ah, so these guys are liars. Good to know.

  14. This reminds me of when the people wanted the to “do something” about health insurance.

    …not that ObamaCare was ever popular.

  15. People Magazine Wants You to Bug Your Represenatives for More Gun Laws

    Just pop off a couple shots in their direction. That should get their attention.

    1. I have no idea where upstairs medical college is.

  16. I think as long as the pope believes in guns the fucking Catholics progs should stop resisting the urge to own a goddamn piece. Pope don’t even buy a fucking cheeseburger without tons o’ metal all round the place, niggas.

  17. People magazine is a fucking ad mag. Nothing more. The entire rag exists as an agent listing market house for over-paid ‘talent’. Just like fucking Enews or that shit pit called that internet rag… jesus fucking christ the arcane name escapes me… oh, TMZ. The carnival of ignorant brain cancer.
    So, we have these pretend places where pop culture obsessed shit rags like to gather the brain deads by the millions but what they don’t know is…

    All the stories are purchased and designed by agents.

    People Magazine or TMZ is for actors and actresses like Bloomberg, CNN, or Fox is for news. Shit is all packaged and designed and written to sell fucking corporate ass clouds or culture or politics.

    Fuck it all like a whiskey bottle up the ass of a fat river livin’ gay redneck sucking drunk Nashville cocks… Been there, done that.

  18. Spotify can suck my goddamn fat cock like the pig butt faces they are…. man, Taylor Swift ain’t fucking Country Girls. I just want to melt the entirety of Spotify with a huge pile of my cum this moment.

  19. No results for whore country girls… fucking useless piece of shit spotify like the entirety of all the empty bowels you call your cousins in San Fran you fucking Detroit about to happen. Fuck tech like my dead uncle.

  20. Records crackle like stars craning their necks to hear humans glance at the fucking eternity behind the fucking Lencos

    How is space not lonely? How are planets and stars and swimming tiny matters not lonely for the cliffs dropped by the throats of our song smiths?

    What songs will we find in the mind breaking fog of the million chunks beyond? Does space have indians?

  21. stars can arise
    when the wise
    sing from fear
    because tone is ear
    and horror
    and loss.
    But mind checks beyond
    with keys and the dross
    of mirrors
    and looks breaks the
    falling drips and grunge
    of fucking lore
    jacked up beneath
    the slats of matter and moire.

    1. Those pills are really kicking in, right?

  22. I won’t know what to think until Agile Cyborg tells me. Is he even here tonight?

    1. So this fucking veil was rent in a way most playa…

    2. I think AC is peaking….

  23. I jacked up a truck on acid
    next to a church filled with
    those seeking a home
    and my truck was turned
    over while under the odd moon
    piles of people swooned out
    of that church and they gathered
    in the sea of reality because
    thrones with preachers
    is the most perfect form of
    submission known to fucking man
    aside from cuba… but I sat in
    that field with my truck upside down
    and I enjoyed all the people
    enjoying being loved and patted
    on their heads and they all drove
    their things and shit to wherever
    and I was forced to sit on top of
    my upside down truck under the
    fucking aliens and think about progs
    who worship at the Hillary altar
    and pour out of Hillary Clinton church
    and plan for after church shit and never
    question the pastor.


    Ever. question the pastor… or Hillary. Just those
    godforsaken shits down the road and that
    dude sitting on his over-turned truck

  24. Evidently I’m a Glock 21 .45 which is funny since that is the last gun I bought. Used from a friend. I picture myself more of a 1911 but they got the caliber right.…..n-are-you/

    1. A Glock heavy with bullet babies can take down a tree, love.

    2. The 21 just fits my hand. Not even a slight shake when I squeeze.

    3. “You are sleek and powerful, but not standard issue. You believe there’s no such thing as too much ammo, and that anything worth doing is overdoing.. You have a way of making people feel safe around you. You are a 9mm Springfield XDm.”


      1. Me too!

    4. Glock 21- 45, yet I don’t own one. I own at least one of nearly everything else, but I have never been a Glock fan.

      1. If you have larger than average hands, the 21 is perfect.

    5. You won’t settle for anything but the best, the tried and true. You’re known to say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” You crave the feel of steel and believe plastic guns are for amateurs. If it was good enough for the Greatest Generation in World War II, it’s good enough for you. You are a .45 caliber Colt 1911.

      Thank God Avalokiteshvara!

      1. The quiz got the weapon type right, a .357 magnum revolver, but the model wrong. I have owned a Ruger Blackhawk .357 magnum with a 6.5 inch barrel since I could legally buy one. I have loved shooting it since 1979. Ruger tried to get me to get the free retrofit for the safety bar and I would have nothing to do with that since it is a tack driver. When I lived in Montana I took a muley and an antelope with it. That old wheel gun is a gem.

        1. Ruger makes a damn fine revolver. My bedside piece is a GP100 in .357.

    6. 44 Auto Mag.

      OK. I lied. Colt Python.

    7. Red Rider? That’s fucking lame, it’s because I don’t like sports right?

  25. they want to ensure Congress is “looking for solutions and not giving up.”

    “Well, *there’s* your problem.”

  26. Fucking spotify might be the worst fucking shit ever for goddamn real music. Actually, I think every fucking app might be the fucking worst thing ever for humans.

    Fuck apps. Fuck tech. FUCK YOUR GODDAMN new world. AND FUCK REASON for aligning with this weird shit based on rich capitalist FUCKS trying to control massive amounts of people through tech. FUCK REASON and FUCK APPS.

    FUCK the internet of today. FUCK every fucking kid that exists to be liked on FB. FUCK THAT KID.

    Apps are now under the fucking Googles, Microsofts, and Apples… App biomes is the new landscape… and FUCK you GOOGLE MICROSOFT AND APPLE for killing the ghetto of life and freedom and the future of digital… it will take 5 years or so and all the apps will bind up in a thrice ass.

    1. You can certainly turn a phrase, A C.

      Ima try out “Bind thee up in a thrice ass!” tomorrow.

      1. I just want to eat Rich and make his nutrient Rich body part of my body so I just ate you Rich.
        I ate your head and I chewed your heart out of your body and then I ate your arms and legs but I sprinkled them with Shakespeare because this is all a very sick imaginary experiment but then
        your balls I am forced to sprinkle dead angel powder on and then roast them over Bertrand Russell from the 1930- his formidable angry years and then I can sense the call of Picasso spices so on your balls they go…. and so all sorts of things happen in these alley ways and shit.

        1. This seems rather odd= self… I don’t think rich will like you after this jarring situation

          1. No problem. Even if the jarring situation involves piss. Peace out!

          1. fine, my sweet lovely, I will love my juggler with some shit.

            1. Quit working brown, Agile. Scatology is not a joking matter, unless it involve wolf hair and bits of a credit card.

              1. I made you a shitty poem.

                1. Shitty? More like exquisite. You are the metal kitten of my dreams.

  27. Reason whines about being fucking great and shit
    and they are mostly… awesome crap… edgy bullshit
    that flits the lines and shit
    But Reason has several blind spots… one is modern tech
    and its relationship with super data and ultra hopscotch shit on
    the lines and the ships and the motherfucking
    next nerve and the networks tracking, mining, finding, solving, looking….

    C’mon Reason…

    1. Well so I have to piss…. jesus little Blown up Mohammed architecture I have to FUCKING blow some goddamn piss

  28. Crusty needs some love so agile is going
    to try and make some love for my baby Crusty

    The glow of the world awoke me
    and I sat suddenly arose in a bed of petals
    and looked about
    the chest in my body reacted to the flowers
    bursting like rainbows
    before me as I breathed and the pressure of
    the lights and breeze called my heart to the top of
    the hill nearest my excitement and looking out
    upon the endless space of lights and rivers
    I fell into the timbers of Crusty’s mind and
    as I fucking fell the arms of Crusty petals pulled
    at me and flourished my fallen state with fucking
    branches of fucking pounding tears and love
    and the valley fell on me finally and the river
    was bottomless and i fell through it and the earth
    and I saw massive lakes of lights screaming at
    me as I fell through the earth and a huge
    metal kitten from alien space jetted up from nowhere and saved
    my Crusty poem and shit… peace space and Crusty bitch.

  29. if horns bleet
    fingers skreet
    and mind leet

    and I only know one of those last words

    1. OK, Agile, here is [SPOILER ALERT] the end of James’ Joyce’s Ulysses. Try and top it.

      “I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.”

      1. Now let me lay some Edward Lear on you:

        The water it soon came in, it did,
        The water it soon came in;
        So to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
        In a pinky paper all folded neat,
        And they fastened it down with a pin.
        And they passed the night in a crockery-jar,
        And each of them said, `How wise we are!
        Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
        Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
        While round in our Sieve we spin!’
        Far and few, far and few,
        Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
        Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
        And they went to sea in a Sieve.

        1. Had enough? Well, too bad, here comes T.S. Eliot:

          “April is the cruelest month, breeding
          lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
          memory and desire, stirring
          dull roots with spring rain.”

          1. “We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
            By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
            Till human voices wake us… and we drown.”

          2. well, that seem super unfair sweet man. I’m a fucking dude here on a Reason river hanging with lovely monsters and so on and on…

            I can’t even see my Not G in front my hand… how can I even begin to fucking pretend to pose letters with flowers growing on their front yards and shit. I

            I presume petals are queens that own the fucking lands they prance on
            like light bursting through clouds and trumpets
            when the dark clods are shoveled on my petals
            i cry and i weep and i demand that
            the light become my booze as a stalwart stem
            screaming for life among the unfolding surroundings
            I refuse to be a flower jammed in the earth
            I want to be a flower alive and living
            and flying
            so I live and burst and walk and as
            THIS SHIT BITCH.

            I am flower. I will walk. FUCK SPACE AND SHIT.

      2. No one has actually read Ulysses.

        1. But AC seems to be *living* it.

  30. People magazine has been on the skids since people started taking their iPhones with them to the dentists’ office.


  31. 70’s trumpets created in a Cali office since bulldozed makes me so fucking horny
    I listen to records and cum. Seriously. I cum. My cock cums like fucking pussy to old fucking disks.

    When I was a teenager I worked for a pervert. As a fucking super Christian forcible at the goddamn time I was introduced into the amazing world of intelligent righteous perverts and I painted all sorts of shit for this bro who was a rather super handsome studly man but 20 years my senior but I was very gifted in the arts as I am now but even so…I refuse to give this man’s name because I love him. Havent seen him in YEARS but I love him and the internet has no right to his name and shit and he always treated me right even tho I thought he was insane and awesome.

    In 1991 he would have these jobs and shit and hire me to letter boards and vans and crap at 15 because I was gifted with a brush which has since been erased by machines but fuckit whatever…. he had the midwest’s largest collection of playboys and records. Ever. and this young christian christ loving fuck would eat a Bambino’s sub down the street and cum to playboy and then go paint crap… and no alien has a right to steal this from a boy.

  32. I fucking hate the white space
    behind my finger windows here
    my eyes don’t like the fucking LED sun
    I hate that crap makes me want to
    eat my dick like a pork chopI

    I just will go into a very big cloud with tons of drugs right now with elves screaming like dying hippos and shit and fucking hyena dead on sticks roasting on my cock on my whore flames I will eat fucking shit on piles of tables and omotherfucking Fucking these white spaces and shit so god bye and I am love my REASON LOVES FOREVER. even tho I am so gonely done..
    I LOVE MY REASON GENIUSES!!!!!!! i will fall into a stream of the jacks and hammera..

  33. So a scroll down nets AC’s poetry, but not one single troll by a grabber?
    I mean they were all over the Shrill thread (I think); not a one. Maybe they’re getting tired of being the punch line.

  34. I assume this will be national news tomorrow:…..-blackface

  35. I usually take a shit at my grandma’s house when I’m reading this rag.

  36. my grandma would have People magazine in the bathroom and my grandpa would have Rifleman magazine. I used to stack them on top of one another and get the hardest cum in their restroom. Then Sunday dinner or whatever.

  37. The pants wetters want to hide behind their pantsuits and Christmas sweaters, and have the politicians violate the constitution by sending out confiscation letters.

    For they are the gun getters, weak as ever they want their faces stomped forever by jack booted pace setters. Through their wishes liberty erodes while state violence and slavery only betters.

    1. You should have worked in “fetters.”

      1. Duly noted. Would have fit right in. Thanks :0)

  38. People magazine made news today by taking a stand and asking all its readers to contact their elected representatives (with contact info provided) in the name of doing something

    I saw on Fox News this morning that the email addresses listed y tge magazine for each Congressman and woman are fraudulent.

    1. You mean Hillary’s gone into providing managed IT Services?

      1. Funny. But, no. The emails redirect you to some 3rd party website that attempts to collect your personal information before it sends your message to your Congress-rat. The website i called Open Government (or something) and it is linked to some Marxian tax-exempt operation.

        1. I’m not sure that necessarily rebuts my comment..

  39. “The three Republicans vying for House speaker will face off Thursday in a vote that could signal whether a caucus beset by infighting and tactical confusion can come together once John Boehner leaves office.”

    Does Fox News mean to suggest that the Republican Party is so disjointed that they won’t be able to elect a Speaker?

    Do they mean to suggest that if they somehow manage to elect a Speaker, then that means they’re unified?

    Either way, that’s a silly headline.

    I wonder will they be able to bring themselves together long enough to choose a nominee for President? Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

    1. But going back to this People magazine editorial…

      1. Given the typical reader of People, I almost wish they would inundate congressional mailboxes with their “thoughts” on gun control.

        Aside from demonstrating that there will be no consensus on what they want done, they’ll make such bizarre recommendations that nothing would be actionable anyway.

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