Public Health

D.C.'s Attempt to License Personal Trainers Is Anti-Business, Anti-Competition, and (Probably) Anti-Health. Thanks Obamacare!

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credit: sunsurfr / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

For a rage-inducing glimpse at the bureaucratic horrorshow that inevitably results when municipal governments attempt to lead the nation on health regulations or professional licensing, read The Washington Post's depressingly thorough story on the District of Columbia's pioneering efforts to do both via the licensing and regulation of personal trainers. It's a report with something to outrage just about everyone.

For example, the whole thing is, like occupational licensing schemes everywhere, an anti-competitive scam designed by poorly qualified incumbents to block competition. As the Post notes... 

The problem for personal trainers is that no standards currently exist. Instead, dozens of competing descriptions have been written by gym owners, for-profit training companies and self-proclaimed fitness experts. There are even competing organizations that certify competing tests. 

Wait, you mean that different trainers and fitness organizations might, like, do things differently? 

Obviously this is a serious problem that has to be solved, and only "an obscure group of D.C. regulators" with eyebrow-raising professional ties can do it:

Grappling with all of that, an  obscure group of D.C. regulators — the Board of Physical Therapy — is preparing to release rules that could send a shock wave through the American fitness industry. Fearing the outcome, some of the loudest voices in the field have decided to go on the offensive. They are calling the process into question and urging city lawmakers to pull back or even halt the effort with threats of drawn-out legal battles.

Some exercise specialists who work most closely with medical groups say the D.C. physical therapy board has an inherent conflict of interest and is trying to restrict professionals with whom their own industry is in direct competition. They point to draft language that could be construed as cutting out personal trainers from potentially billable future work.

Once again, wait: You really mean that professional groups granted regulatory power over their rivals might use licensing requirements in self-interested ways? Who could possibly have imagined that this would happen?

Rules have already been considered that would either block new entrants to the physical fitness market or saddle them with enormous expenses. Crossfit, which I have never tried, but which lots of people seem to enjoy quite a bit, seems to be a particular target. One D.C. Crossfit entrepreneur, a former legal worker, tells the Post that he would not have been able to open his facilities under one requirement that has already been floated:

One early proposal that the D.C. board discussed but appears to have moved away from would have required personal trainers to have as much as a four-year degree. Killion said that if such a rule were adopted, he almost certainly wouldn't have abandoned a career in law.

"I would have never been able to start my business, and we wouldn't have people who have lost 100 pounds if that were the case," he said. 

credit: Runar Eilertsen / Foter CC BY-NC-ND

The requirements aren't just anti-competitive and anti-business, they are also, as Killion's previous quote hints, potentially anti-health.

Not only would they make it more expensive and onerous to operate fitness facilities, and thus make it likely that there would be fewer of them and that fewer people would be members, they also have the potential to reshape the sorts of classes and services that gyms offer, and, in addition, to impose one-size-fits-all fitness requirements that don't reflect individual preferences or physical responsiveness:

"This will affect everyone because 'fitness' is a nebulous term. That's why we have so many pathways to achieve it .?.?. we all respond differently to exercise and we all have different factors in our lives that come into play in trying to attain it," said Phillip Godfrey, a medical exercise specialist in the District who has tracked the D.C. law for months and has become convinced the final product will be problematic for his livelihood.

"The term 'personal fitness trainer' is not true for everyone in the industry," Godfrey continued. "That's a known title, but there are kinesiologists, corrective specialists .?.?. literally hundreds of titles and sub-specialties. Setting one pathway, one test, one methodology to train individuals — that can be problematic. It may work for some and not others."

This entire lovely mess is, of course, thanks to the expansive and unknowable glories of Obamacare:

The credit — or blame — for the newfound urgency can be traced in part to President Obama's Affordable Care Act. A variety of workplace wellness programs and preventive health-care initiatives called for in the law could soon translate into rivers of billable hours for those with credentials to keep American waistlines in check.

Does anyone really think that any meaningful, mass improvements in health and fitness will come of this? Based on the long history of poor government health interventions and dietary recommendations, which have similarly attempted (and in many cases still attempt) to impose dubiously sourced, centrally devised, often provably wrong eating guidelines on aspects of personal health that are inherently individual in nature, the answer to that question at least should be a resounding no. 

However, I will say this for Obamacare's effect on my personal physical fitness: It manages to get my heart rate up just thinking about it. 

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169 responses to “D.C.'s Attempt to License Personal Trainers Is Anti-Business, Anti-Competition, and (Probably) Anti-Health. Thanks Obamacare!

  1. That photo is like lighting the Warty Signal. Are you sure you want to do that?

    1. He’s too busy doing squats to respond.

    2. Warty juggles KBs bigger than that puny thing!

      1. With his dick!

      2. I’ve thought about buying a 48kg one like that, but I could never justify the cost. Cast iron shit is expensive.

        1. I thought they were talking about the other photo, the one with the guy staring hungrily at the giant, disembodied butthole.

        2. Did you see that 15yo kid though? DAMN 300kgs clean and jerk AT FIFTEEN!

          1. 170. 300 would be slightly impressive.

    3. My understanding is that I need to grab that kettlebell and do 20 jumping-jacks with it, followed by 30 box jumps.

      1. Fuck yeah! Then as many cleans as you can perform in 2 minutes. Make sure your form goes to hell after the third one!

        1. And if it does – you’ll need a good orthopedist…

    4. CULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

      1. From the latest episode of Review: “I’ve recently saved up enough money to open my own CrossFit gym, so? what’s it like to be a cult leader?”

        An easy joke, sure, but the delivery of it was gold.

      2. You never disappoint.

  2. DC is often ranked among the country’s most healthy/fit cities. It’s gonna tumble down the rankings pretty fucking fast with this bullshit. All the gyms in NoVA are drooling at the prospect…

    1. Less to do with gyms, almost everything to do with being forced to walk everywhere. Carry one or two bags of groceries from the store seven blocks away two to three times a week because car parking is more expensive than your outrageous rent and you’ll be in good shape too. I’m never moving back to that shithole of a city.

      1. The rankings that I have heard about have to do with gyms per capita, grocery stores per capita, etc.

        I my 10 years in DC proper, I never walked that far with groceries. I used an old lady cart, or took the bus.

        1. I was a ridiculously poor college student at GWU when I lived in DC. I’ll admit Foggy Bottom wasn’t the most residential area, so my experiences could be considered a little off. Still hate the damn city and glad to be back to the cheap rents in Texas.

          1. I’m not too keen on it, but that’s because of the people that live here, not because of transpo. DC would be a fine city if it weren’t for all the Washingtonians.

          2. I loved living in DC when I was in my mid twenties and mostly single. I worked on the Hill be established a set of non hill people friends early on.

            1. Hill people are the fucking worst (yes, worse than Nikki). I mean, literally the meanest people on earth. The younger they are, the meaner.

      2. Carry one or two bags of groceries from the store seven blocks away two to three times a week

        America – I’m out of shape, fuck yeah!

        No offense but that doesn’t sound very onerous. For a normal person, anyway.

        1. Really? I’ve got a hard time judging on this one. I’ve got a partially paralyzed leg that makes it a lot more work to do walking related activities. That might explain some of the silences I’ve been getting met with when bitching about having to live in that city. Really wish people would just speak up and point this sorta thing out to me, I already know I’m a cripple I’m not gonna bite your head off for mentioning it.

          1. Heh OK, I felt kind of mean saying it. I’m an out-of-shape middle-aged person in Brooklyn and this is routine for me, except the farthest I have to go is five blocks and much of my daily needs are even closer.

    2. If it’s an Obamacare requirement, it’s gonna be Canadian gyms drooling.

  3. The problem for personal trainers is that no standards currently exist.

    WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT GOVERNMENT?

    1. Fat slob bureaucrats know better than a fitness guru what standards should apply to personal trainers. Because FYTW.

    2. This shit is going to finally stop if and when they get around to licensing IT jobs.

      1. It may stop but what we really need is a ton of rolling back.

      2. SOS. Licensing turned into an anti-competition gambit! When will we start allowing people to make their own decisions, and take the responsibility, that it requires, to do the proper research?!

    3. Yes, that’s the “problem.”

  4. They’re making profits! They can’t be allowed to make profits unless they’re certified by the government! Otherwise they could be ripping people off! But if they have the government stamp of approval, then they can be trusted! But only then! Save us, government! Save us from those unlicensed trainers making… profits!

    1. We can’t have people making money without permission!

      1. Let me translate for you: they can’t have people making money without them being able to get a cut. That’s what every licensing scheme is about. Getting their cut, or else “this is a nice CultFit gym you have here, we wouldn’t want anything to happen to it, would we?”

        1. And it’s always done in the name of protecting the customer.

        2. That would in effect make them parasites.

          1. There is a large portion of the human race who are, in fact, parasites on other humans. Every single warlord, politician, bureaucrat, government worker, king, and their ilk is a parasite. They live by taking the production of others. They may claim it’s for some good, but we all know that’s a lie. They literally exist by taking from others by force.

            That’s government. A parasite class.

            1. Well, we know what to do with other parasites.

              1. Abort them, especially if they are retarded.

                /Cytotoxic.

            2. Even on the job there are parasites. I’ve seen some say that on average, 20% of the people do 80% of the work, and it wouldn’t surprise me. So by that estimate, 80% of your coworkers are basically parasites. And they’re part of the productive class. So if 80% of the productive class are parasites, and the rest are already parasites, then it looks like being a parasite is the norm. If you’re not a parasite then you’re a chump.

            3. Up to a point, but not fully accurate. They’re parasites with the ability to blow you up from the inside if you bitch about what the parasite is doing to you. A tick you can just tweeze off, or with lice shave your head. What do you do about THIS parasite? Look cross eyed at it and you’re on the ground peeing your pants, if you’re lucky.

    2. The government likes people to make profits, at least on the books profits, because they get to tax them.
      What happens is someone has a negative reaction to a personal trainer’s instructions, it makes it to the media, whose immediate reaction is to say “and the government does nothing about bad trainers”.
      Now, because they are getting negative press, the government feels a need to react.
      I find it funny that this article draws on an article form a newspaper, when they are the worst for pointing to government inaction as being a major culprit in any bad thing that happens.
      Go look at any newspaper article on some negative impact and you will, inevitably, see some reference to government action, or inaction.
      That’s where a lot of these intrusions into our freedoms come from.

  5. Crossfit, which I have never tried,…

    Um, yeah, Suderman. We wanted to talk to you about that…

    1. No. Absolutely not. I don’t want Suderman buying an 8-pack of sessions, then proceed to go three times and start spouting off how much he knows about it., all so he can have more cocktail party small talk ammunition.

      1. If a vegan does Crossfit, which one do they talk about first?

        1. Male or female?

          1. Since veganism causes the body to absorb and digest the genitalia in a desperate effort to obtain nutrients, it doesn’t matter.

  6. How long is it going to be before we rid ourselves of this parasite class? These parasitical control freaks contribute absolutely zero value to society. In fact they are a very huge net drain. Time to take out the trash.

    1. Truly, unlicensed personal trainers are a blight on humanity.

      1. The progressive idiots who cheerlead on these assholes are the dumbest fucking people in the history of civilization. Now watch them shreek and whine when they get exactly what they asked for.

        1. Unfortunately they will be incapable of tracing the end result back to their own demands.

          1. Well, logic is not their forte, that’s for sure.

          2. …something something… unforseen consequences… mumble mumble… intentions…

        2. A proggie friend was shrieking & whining yesterday about the lending library some kid set up on his front lawn (a story we discussed here months ago).

          I resisted temptation to say “you asked for it!”

          1. I’m imagining my three year old doing that then chasing everyone down who tried to borrow a book.

            1. Three-year-olds definitely have strong views on property rights. I was trying to teach my granddaughter to play Old Maid. The game was all sorts of wrong in her mind. She was fine with taking cards from other people’s hands, but heaven help you if you were trying to get a card out of HER hand.

            2. He was shrieking and whining that the kid that had set up the lending library got shut down. He said something like “I like government, but this is too much!”.

              1. You bitch-slapped him for that, right?

    2. Are you trying to get those two bozo attorneys to come back and gag us?

      1. Hyp likes the kinky stuff. Don’t judge him, man.

      2. Did I instruct you to put the trash into a certain mulching device?

      3. no that stuff is reserved for the rentboy thread

  7. Why the fuck can’t people who work in cubicle farms cover their mouths when they sneeze?

    Fucking fuck.

    1. Ha ha.

      FMSS is popping a vein in his forehead.

  8. ONE SIZE FITS ALL. For the children.

    Every time Michelle goes on one of her turnip crusades trying to help fat kids someone should point to Obamacare.

    As in, ‘We were doing that until your husband past a law in the middle of the night with scant support because it needed to be passed in order to know what’s in it and now we will have more dying fat kids on our lawns!’

  9. And just what are they going to do when all of this goes underground, and most people just decide to exercise on their own and stop paying the soon to come jacked up prices because of ridiculous license fees and overreaching regulation? What then? Do they send the exercise police to your house to ensure your compliance? Man, progressives are fucking stupid. I don’t even know how they go to the bathroom without a government official to assist them.

    1. I wonder how many of these people potentially affected voted for Obama.

      For me, it’s simple. If you’re a free-lancer, self-employed, a net saver, investor and general overall a productive and ambitious member of the voting class, you should NEVER EVER vote for anyone who leans left.

      Ever.

      If you do and act surprised by the unintended consequences of their parasitical policies then you’re an idiot. Pure and for true.

      Like those idiots in Alberta.

      1. You know a shit-ton of them did.

        Running a business can be a good antidote for leftism, though. The pointless (and expensive) bullshit that comes with every single act, law or mandate is instructive, even for O-dolts.

        1. I can only observe by what I see with my hippie liberal sister in our business. She’s made great strides in understanding the government isn’t our ‘partner’ or ‘friend’. She understands now many of the ‘codes’ are mostly good to make red tape redder. She also came to learn how licenses and permits are nothing but a racket that protect no one except to enrich or consolidate power of a ‘special’ class where politicians gain unnecessary added powers.

          BUT. It still hasn’t sunk in on the aggregate for her. She still thinks we need something.

          Regulations are fine. However, it’s when they become excessive people who don’t own businesses or have anything to lose don’t get. A certain blind ‘it’s not problem but I did good for society’ mindset corrodes their thought process.

          They can’t think beyond their finger tips and in the abstract.

          Ever notice how it’s because you’re a bad business person if you can’t adjust to nefarious and coercive policies and laws?

          Because they don’t know what they’re talking about. They don’t grasp we adjust but the cost of that adjustment can be quite high to the economy.

          1. I’d like to add she also understands price signals and government setting of prices is skewed to the point of irrational.

            For example, in our business our wages is a function of what the buyer (parent) is willing to pay). If it’s, say, $50 a day then I work my way back based on what my expected ROI and margins will be as well as factoring industry standards and norms.

            The government doesn’t consider those realities. They just pick an arbitrary figure of what they feel an educator is worth and expect business to adjust.

            It’s messy and often expensive for nothing.

            1. So my sister can intellectually argue x-employee is worth x-per hour and I may even agree but in the end, it’s what the market is willing to pay that will determine the worth. If the employee disagrees, well, it’s a big world out there.

            2. It’s messy and often expensive for nothing.

              This is a perfect government tag line.

              Ever notice how it’s because you’re a bad business person if you can’t adjust to nefarious and coercive policies and laws?

              Hah! Yes, this is exactly right. Adjustments that end up being good for the government but no one else are NOT good business.

          2. Man, in the industry I work in most of the time, the bureaucracy and regulations have piled up so high it’s getting more and more difficult to get any real work done. I’ve made the comment to some of my clients on a few occasions that if this trend continues, no real work will even be done, only compliance and documentation. They just roll their eyes. They’ve all just, even though they don’t like it, resigned themselves to just go along. What I said is true though. We are headed for a day when actual productivity in certain industries will be barely above zero. I bet 50% of more of what I do right now is only to develop a solution to help with compliance of some new regulation.

            My wife and I went down the Museum of Industry a couple months ago. And it made me a little sad as I looked in amazement to see how industrious and ingenious people were back in the industrial revolution. The industrial revolution could have never happened today. We’d all still be riding horses and lighting kerosene lamps to read by.

            1. I think this is an accurate description.

              Every year they come up with new red tape (gotta justify their jobs, right?) on top of everything else. It annoys both us and the parents.

              I’m already looking into the possibility of hiring an administrator just to deal with the parasites in government.

              1. See? Job created!

                1. There’s that good old government multiplier!

            2. I’ve made the comment to some of my clients on a few occasions that if this trend continues, no real work will even be done, only compliance and documentation. They just roll their eyes

              This is accounting.

        2. That’s what happened to Henry Weisman, author of New York’s Bakeshop Act of 1895.

          He wrote the law and the left the union leadership in 1897 amidst accusations of embezzlement then become a Master Baker, opening his own bakery, and a lawyer (and defended the law in court) and had “an intellectual revolution, saw where the law which I had succeeded in having passed was unjust to the employers”.

      2. Well, I’m not sure if you’ll have the chance as far as POTUS is concerned to vote for someone who isn’t a leftist. It’s looking more and more like Trump is going to intentionally throw the election to the Democrats. Man, people are dumb.

      3. Local record store owner is a huge Obama fan… but then I also get to hear him bitch about taxes, bureaucracy, and how he is getting screwed by the system.

    2. Smith? 6079 Smith W? Yes you. Bend lower. You’re not trying.

    3. I’m picturing midnight SWAT raids on underground fitness clubs. They’ll claim that people can’t be trusted to know for themselves which exercise regimen is right for them, so putting a bullet in their heads is really for their own good. Then shoehorn some repurposed WoD propoganda about how drug dealers unlicensed trainers are merchants of death spraying neighborhoods with bullets protein powder in turf battles and call it a day.

      1. Well in all fairness, whey protein powder will give you some pretty serious flatulence.

        I’m just as libertarian as the next guy, but I will admit that releasing one of my protein farts in a confined space is a violation of the non-aggression principle.

        1. SWAT team inbound to your location for suspected use of a chemical weapon.

        2. whey protein powder will give you some pretty serious flatulence

          I started taking whey protein powder a couple of months ago – I haven’t noticed an increase in my flatulence.

          I also stopped eating legumes in a regular basis – that definitely led to a dramatic decrease in flatulence.

          1. Maybe it’s the brand of powder. It’s also possible that our bodies just react differently. It did seem to fade with time as my body got accustomed to it, and now my farts are only moderately worse than average (as opposed to astronomically above average).

            I used to work in an auto parts factory, and the environment was full of weld smoke and the stench of a dozen other chemicals that we had around. I’d feel a gas attack coming on and think that I could just let a little bit squeak by without anybody noticing, but nope: a few seconds after I’d let it out, everyone within a 30-foot radius would start clutching their noses and screaming, “oh god, what the fuck, man!”

      2. The first rule of fitness club is…

        1. DON’T DO CURLS IN THE FUCKING POWER RACK! FUCK!

          At least, that’s what it should be.

          1. It’s my rack, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want in it.

        2. Re-rack your dumbbells, assholes.

          1. All weights. The club I use is the absolute worst. For fuck’s sake, if you’re strong enough to squat six plates, be strong enough to rack your six plates. When the sixty year old lady comes by to squat 145, she shouldn’t have to rack 200 lbs worth of weights — which I’ve seen happen.

            1. One of the reasons I utterly hated going to the gym. Plates I can deal with but the heavy dumbbells the roid boys would leave all over the place used to piss me off to no end.

              1. I got my own stuff last summer. Best decision I have ever made.

              2. I have a power rack and weights in my basement. Initially expensive, but in the long run I save money and avoid assholes.

                Although I do miss out on women in yoga pants.

                1. This time of year makes me want my own stuff. Once the dumbfucks leave for college, it is much better. Just the regulars until the first couple of weeks in January.

                  That said, I would really miss the hotties and their yoga pants.

  10. The credit ? or blame ? for the newfound urgency can be traced in part to President Obama’s Affordable Care Act. A variety of workplace wellness programs and preventive health-care initiatives called for in the law could soon translate into rivers of billable hours for those with credentials to keep American waistlines in check.

    Not possible! Shriek assures me that Obamacare regulates nothing and could fit on a cocktail napkin!

    1. More cronyism. I am shocked, shocked I tell you!

    2. Well, let’s say this cocktail napkin represents the normal amount of pointless regulation in the Washington, DC area. According to this morning’s sample it would be a cocktail napkin?thirty-five feet long weighing approximately six-hundred pounds.”

    3. Shriek, or Hinh?

  11. The requirements aren’t just anti-competitive and anti-business, they are also, as Killion’s previous quote hints, potentially anti-health.

    So then, pretty much like most other health-related regulations of the last century?

  12. They are calling the process into question…

    Oooh, that’s a paddlin’.

    1. The Rentboy thread is down there….

      1. OK, I laughed.

    2. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in12+ years as an engineer in the calcified, government contract dominated, practically dead aerospace industry it’s this:

      NEVER. QUESTION. THE. PROCESS. THE PROCESS IS GOD.

      1. Even if the process produces expensive, unworkable, useless garbage and you wrote that process up two weeks earlier as a trial to see if it worked and upon seeing that it only produces expensive, unworkable, useless garbage in the real world, you can’t possibly change it now because its the PROCESS!

  13. On the subject of the role of the ACA: in past year my employer hired a full-time nurse for our office of a few hundred employees, which of course led to fliers and newsletters about “wellness initiatives” and the panacean properties of kale spreading across the office like kudzu. We do legal administrative work; the most serious on-the-job injury anyone here is likely to receive is carpal tunnel. Many people wondered what the point of all of this was, since there was no widely-known demand for such things around the office.

    I proposed that, while I couldn’t be certain without doing some research, it seemed plausible to me that there was some provision in the ACA somewhere that gave the company a tax break or some nonsense for taking such measures, and our employer was just responding to that incentive. This seemed like a pretty reasonable explanation, but I was alarmed at how much pushback the idea received from the more Progressive types. I wasn’t soapboxing about death panels or communism, just gently pointing out that a bill that was essentially the health care equivalent of the PATRIOT Act in terms of scope was going to have some weird stuff that might not entirely be in accordance with its marketing campaign, but to a certain kind of true believer even these (what I thought were) piddling criticisms are verboten.

    1. As far as the true believers are concerned, any critism of Obama is TEH RACIST and any critique of the ACA is OMGZ DEATH PANELZ AND NAZI COMPARISONZ SARAH PALIN!!!1!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!111!!!

      Which makes it impossible to even debate the merits or lack thereof of various portions of the law, which is why I gave a up a long time ago.

      1. Well if you’ve got an alternative to an expansive, over-regulating, job-killing, cost-expanding healthcare law – WE’D LIKE TO HEAR IT.

      2. “Which makes it impossible to even debate the merits or lack thereof of various portions of the law, which is why I gave a up a long time ago.”

        See? It’s working better than predicted!

    2. …the panacean properties of kale spreading across the office like kudzu.

      I love this sentence.

    3. “The Dark Side of Kale”

      (Cruciferous vegetables can cause hypothyroidism.)

    4. Kale is so two years ago. Collard is the new hipster vegetable.

      1. They’re the same thing. Collard, kale, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, kohlrabi– they’re all just mutant versions of cabbage.

  14. required personal trainers to have as much as a four-year degree

    This is utterly idiotic.

    1. But didn’t you hear? Obama’s going to make it so that everyone can go to college, and it won’t cost a thing!

      The government: breaking your legs and then expecting gratitude for offering you crutches since the dawn of civilization.

  15. FILL IN THE BLANK

    The problem for __________ is that no standards currently exist.

    1. “those running for president”

    2. Your mother

    3. my bunghole

    4. Epi’s mother

    5. Hitler?

    6. Planetary domination of a heavy gravity world with a large adapted population?

  16. Look, if people want to go to CultFit and tear apart their joints, that’s their business and the government shouldn’t have any say in it.

  17. For better or worse (mostly worse), CrossFit is here to stay. It’s an extreme sport, so it appeals to a dedicated cult of enthusiasts.

    However, the precepts behind CrossFit distort or violate most of the established principles of athletic training and competition. Too many people are getting fucked over, not just newbies and hobbyists but serious athletes too. Unlike other sports, CrossFit isn’t the kind of activity that readily lends itself to casual recreation, so it both amuses and appalls me when I see morbidly obese people listing CrossFit as one of their favorite pastimes. I want to shake them and scream, “Focus on getting yourself in something vaguely resembling decent shape before trying to tackle a punishing athletic regimen like CrossFit!” Uncle Rhabdo ain’t a nice chap who tickles your chin and buys you ice cream cones. He fucks you in the ass and leaves you in the ditch to take your own bleeding butt to the hospital.

    Because it remains a fringe element, CrossFit’s been allowed to wreak its damage mostly unmolested. But if it ever attains anything resembling mainstream status, we’ll see media hysteria dwarfing anything currently surrounding the sport of football. When that happens, it won’t be lawsuits CrossFit’s leadership will have to worry about. They’ll be writhing in front of congressional committees.

    1. It’s an extreme sport, so it appeals to a dedicated cult of enthusiasts.

      And ESPN marketroids. Seriously, why is that shit on so much?

      1. I’m just guessing here, but could it be because the women are hot to those who like a certain body type? I assume the men are as well, but I don’t pay them any attention.

        1. I assume the men are as well, but I don’t pay them any attention.

          They are. I would still rather sit in a corner and eat paint.

      2. I have no problem with properly trained athletes assuming the risk of competing in extreme sports. My issue with the CrossFit movement is that it’s being marketed to newbs who don’t know better as a quick, efficient way to get into shape. It’s anything but. If any other sport were marketed so recklessly, it would be banned in a heartbeat.

        The truth is that CrossFit is an incredibly dangerous activity for someone who’s not already in superb physical conditioning. If you don’t have years of quality training under your belt, coupled with a more or less picture-perfect grasp of mechanics, you shouldn’t be fucking around with CrossFit. You’re setting yourself not just for acute injury but also the possibility of lifelong suffering. Some of the shit CrossFit coaches put their clients through might not be quite as risky as throwing a high-school football player onto the NFL gridiron, but it’s not much safer either. And the callous disregard for athlete safety characteristic of major CrossFit competitions is inexcusable, if not borderline criminal. Frankly, I’m surprised an ambitious prosecutor hasn’t already tried to make a name for himself by targeting CrossFit officials who fail to ensure that standard safety protocols are in place at all sanctioned competitions.

        1. The truth is that CrossFit is an incredibly dangerous activity for someone who’s not already in superb physical conditioning.

          Isn’t this why you scale down whatever the workout is to suit your ability level?

          1. This. Drivel is confusing competitive crossfit with regular folk crossfit. As long as one joins a halfway competent gym it’s a net gain regardless of starting fitness level. He seems to just parroting same strawmen used in every crossfit takedown article that comes along.

    2. see morbidly obese people listing CrossFit as one of their favorite pastimes

      Guessing consuming more calories than they need in a day is also a favorite activity, they just don’t want to get a grip on that?

      Isn’t rhabdo really rare, and mostly seen in accidents that involve crushing injuries?

      My CrossFit experience may not be the norm but I haven’t seen the preponderance of injuries that is attributed to it. You can get injured doing anything – playing golf or tennis, riding a bike, running – anything that involves overuse is you, you know, overuse it.

      Most of the people I know complain of other self-inflicted maladies of overuse, principally overeating and sitting.

      1. To my knowledge there has been no research done comparing rates of rhabdo among CrossFit devotees versus the regular population. The only study I could find reported no cases of rhabdo among CrossFit athletes surveyed, but the methodology employed seems weak at best. The study relied solely on self-reporting and the sample size was tiny. It’s an issue that should be looked into with more rigor.

        Anecdotal evidence isn’t very useful, but rhabdo seems to be a common enough concern for the CrossFit community that they the bandy that oddly creepy nickname “Uncle Rhabdo” around pretty freely.

        1. a common enough concern for the CrossFit community that they the bandy that oddly creepy nickname “Uncle Rhabdo” around pretty freely

          I suppose if you overuse any part of your body muscularly it could happen since there are documented cases of it – at least the one in the HuffPost article. I think, but don’t know, that “Uncle Rhabdo” is more of an inside joke phenomenon than it is a common occurrence, but I couldn’t say. I haven’s seen anyone in my CrossFit gym get it and haven’t seen anyone get seriously injured. It would be good to know more about the occurrences of injury and rhabdo but mostly it seems like hearsay and speculation based on a number of infrequent events.

          1. Don’t forget Pukey. But it isn’t like everybody pukes during or after every workout.

            1. That’s another thing I haven’t seen yet – though I cam close once myself, but I attribute that to not leaving enough time to digest my eggs and bacon before the workout.

        2. I did Crossfit for several years, but now stick to powerlifting. I don’t have a link, but I remember there was some work done (I am thinking back to sometime like 2008) that Rhabdo was more common in well trained athletes who were new to Crossfit, rather than sedentary folks who were using Crossfit to start to get into shape. Basically, someone who is out of shape can’t even get to the point of rhabdomyosis. Their lactic acid tolerance is so low, that they will stop well before that point.

          1. I did Crossfit for several years, but now stick to powerlifting

            The lifting elements are my favorite part. I’m considering a similar switch.

            1. You’ll dig it. Work on the major lifts, use the other stuff to fill in weaknesses. Deadlifting is the coolest thing evah!

              1. I love the deadlift but really like the snatch and clean and jerk. I get visibly irritated when they are in a workout that I can’t make it to.

    3. Obligatory =

      best crossfit parody ever

  18. CrossFit: exercise bulimia for the wealthy.

    1. Wow, I am filing that one away for future reference. It’s just about perfect.

  19. OT and Ghey: US Marine qualifies for police work

    http://planettransgender.com/u…..-to-death/

    United States Marine Joseph Scott Pemberton, who was stationed near Manila in the Philippines, admitted during his trial that he choked transgender woman Jennifer Laude to death after he found out that she was trans.

    Roque has stated that Pemberton has justified his actions by claiming that he feared being raped when he discovered Laude was transgender, so choked her to death out of ‘self defence’.

        1. Lol. Yep, better!

    1. I understand that any accusation of rape should be taken at face value.

    2. One time I was drinking at this SoCal bar and some incredibly hot Asian woman started hitting on me. Outside, we started making out and I seriously considered trying to get her to my apartment despite having to wake up early the next morning (5:30am, for PT), she went to the bathroom while I waited outside. Two guys came up to me and told me I was kissing a dude. They then pointed at her two friends that I hadn’t really noticed and I started to see it. I proceeded to hightail it out of there. I feel bad that she may have come out looking for me and was hurt to discover that I left but I feel justified.

      It really blew my mind how hot this person was. Never felt the need to kill anyone, though, so I don’t understand this Marine’s reaction.

      That being said, if you want to be deceptive to prospective mates, fuck you. There’s plenty of sex out there; you don’t have to lie to get laid.

      1. you don’t have to lie to get laid

        Ummm….

      2. Not to mention bloody dangerous. You don’t get beat to death in the bar with bouncers and bystanders to break it up. You get beat to death in a back alley or in a private apartment. Bring it up before you get to first base and the worst that will likely happen is you get called names (assuming you aren’t suicidal and doing something like flirting in a Muslim temple in Iran).

        Getting rejected isn’t fun, but they aren’t going to be more likely to sleep with you if they find out by groping.

        1. Thank you for understanding.

  20. OT: I’ve misplaced the link to the original article, but a British court has ruled the instructions of an old woman’s will invalid because, according to the court, she didn’t make adequate provision for her daughter financially, despite the old woman’s explicit desire for her daughter to receive nothing from her estate. They specifically annulled the will’s instructions, and demanded that the woman’s estate be butchered and parceled for apportionment.

    Government wants to fuck you even in death. It never ends.

    1. That’s pretty common. The best way around it is to leave something small or insulting to the people you don’t want to have anything. If they get ‘something’ out of the will judges tend to be a lot more willing to respect your wishes.

      But yeah, its complete bull in situations where the dying person still had their facilities and wasn’t just signing papers brought to them by the nice person with their tapioca pudding.

      1. Heard that too. Friend of mine knows a lady in her 80s who is quite wealthy. She wants her daughter to get nothing. Woman’s lawyer gave her exactly that advice: leave you daughter 10k. Much harder for lawyers to change things.

      2. That’s pretty common. The best way around it is to leave something small or insulting to the people you don’t want to have anything. If they get ‘something’ out of the will judges tend to be a lot more willing to respect your wishes.

        What? When did a will written in sound mind and body, witnessed and certified by a lawyer be completely invalid because a judge felt it was too mean?

        1. Since it isn’t faaaaaiiiir that people get to distribute their money as they see fit. That’s my guess at least. I just know it’s something you have to plan for if you’ve got an entitled bitch for a child.

    2. Oy. This only makes me remember that eventually I will have to execute my dad’s will, at which time I get to tell my brother that his 1/2 is in a trust. Fun.

      1. At least he’s getting half?

        1. I get to tell my brother that his 1/2 is in a trust

          1. I get it, he doesn’t control it, but he’s still getting half, right? Can the trust be structured to throw off some income for him? Sounds like your dad knows him well enough to know just giving him 1/2 outright might not be a good idea?

            1. Depends on the trust. Mine was in a trust because I was still legally married at the time, so it was a way to shield my inheritance from Legalized Straight Marriage.

              But I could do whatever I wanted with it. Don’t remember how the trust was structured.

          2. Does he not get access to the trust at some point in the future?

            1. Should. See my post above. Depends on the structure of the trust.

  21. today the top spot is mine, fist. Do you hear me?!? Mine

  22. Get in shape in Georgetown. Whatever your fitness goals are we can help.

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