The Supreme Court's Same-Sex Marriage Decision Is Already Being Used to Sell You Washing Machines

From Miller Lite to Maytag, here's how popular brands reacted to the SCOTUS ruling this morning.

Not very long ago, even the token gay television character could cause an uproar, and while popular brands may have voiced unequivocal support for some sort of nebulous gay "pride," many avoided staking a position on the controversial political question of same-sex marriage. Today, with the U.S. Supreme Court declaring "the right of same-sex couples to marry" throughout the country, brands from Miller Lite to Maytag were quick to react in support the decision on social media. It all may be a bit hokey and opportunistic, but the extent to which iconicly American brands aren't worried about alienating customers with pro-gay-marriage messages perhaps shows us more than anything that America is ready for marriage equality to be the law of the land. Here's a sampling of brand tweets this morning about the SCOTUS marriage decision: 

@MillerLite: As long as you are you, #ItsMillerTime. #LoveWins

@MillerLite/Twitter

@TheMaytagMan: Here's to finding the one who completes you. #SCOTUSMarriage

@TheMaytagMan/Twitter

@Cheerios: And now, no one can tell you otherwise. #LoveWins

@Cheerios/Twitter

?@ChipotleTweets: Homo Estas? Very well, thank you. #LoveWins 

@ChipotleTweets/Twitter

@VogueMagazine: LoveWins today: http://vogue.cm/1Ja0KIU

@voguemagazine/Twitter

@Staples: MAKE equality HAPPEN #LoveWins

@Staples/Twitter

@CocaCola: It's now official. Love is love is love. #LoveWins

@CocaCola/Twitter

@SubPop: It's a great day in the USA. #lovewins 

@subpop/Twitter

@Macys: From this day forward… #loveislove

@Macys/Twitter

@Uber_Ohio: Destination: Love #SCOTUSmarriage #LoveWins

@Uber_Ohio

@Motorola: Today #LoveWins and we couldn't be happier - Now everyone can #ChooseLove

@Motorola/Twitter

Comments

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Yeah, but I heard there were, like, four terrorist attacks in places NOT the USA the last couple days that killed, like, 80 people, sooooo.....

HOORAY FOR THIS GOOD NEWS ABOUT TEH GAIZ!!11!

[Pan Zagloba]

Look, first ban Confederate flag in US. Then ban it in those clearly non-advanced countries, and attacks will stop there too!

[John]

Remember, what happened in Charlston is totally about the Confederate Flag but these attacks have nothing to do with Islam, you racist tea bagger.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Also - I heard Lou Reed died. True of False?

[Judge Chipper]

False, he's fine. You might have him confused with David Bowie, who passed last month.

[BuSab Agent]

Wait, what?!!! David Bowie is dead?

[BuSab Agent]

No he's not. Fucker. There's a special place in Hell the DMV for you.

[Judge Chipper]

Gotcha! Bowie's alive and working at the San Mateo DMV.

[Tman]

Where's Barfman when you need him?

[Lee G]

And I completely forgot to retweet something about it.

[AlgerHiss]

May 3 gay guys get married?

Can a father marry his two sons, or just the one?

May a mother marry her daughter and her daughter's friend?

May 2 guys marry 2 girls?

If not, why not?

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

tl;dr

[Heroic Mulatto]

Now you're just doing it as a meme.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I think he's a full blown retard. That's all he can say.

[Dark Lord of the wood chipper]

Maybe its just a bot .

[Jordan]

LOL that you seriously think these are "gotcha" questions.

[Hamster of Doom]

He sure showed us with his irrefutable logic, now didn't he.

[AlgerHiss]

No, I don't think they are "gotcha" at all. I'm as serious as a heart attack. If you say "no" to my questions, then why not explain?

Or, are you afraid you might sound like Pat Robertson or that insidious Jerry Falwell?

Come on: Are you really Jerry Falwell prancing around like a libertarian?

[thom]

As long as everybody involved is a consenting adult you're kind of in the wrong forum to draw a lot of no's. This is one are where the slippery slope argument just falls flat. "if we let those people get married and not harm us other people might get married and not harm us either." nobody cares.

[Jordan]

Any consenting adult(s) should be able to marry any consenting adult(s). That was hard.

[AlgerHiss]

I agree. No problem here.

[JayWye]

so an adult brother can marry his adult sister. and Dad can marry his adult daughter,Mom can marry her adult son.

that's the "standard" you just set.

[Akira]

To be completely honest, I see no problem with any of those scenarios as long as all parties are consenting. The problem that people have with incestuous marriage is not with the piece of paper declaring that they're married, it's the sexual intercourse. Do you think denying marriage licenses is going to stop close relatives from having sex if they are so inclined?

If not, you have to explain what reason at all there is for prohibiting incestuous marriages.

If so, you've expressed the belief that government edicts are tantamount to laws of physics.

[wareagle]

according to Kennedy's opinion, the answer to all the above is yes.

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

Never heard the phrase "consenting adults".

[AlgerHiss]

Does that actually have to be said? Really?

Now that we've established that yes, it is consenting adults, do have any problems?

Or are you another Jerry Falwell?

[Hugh Akston]

Can a woman marry her cat?

Can a man marry his car?

More importantly, can a man marry his Playstation?

[Lady Dalrymple]

But can the woman's cat marry the man's car?

Hmmmmmm?

[Slammer]

Can you marry a Confederate Fag?

[Trshmnstr, Eau de Toilet]

Now that's a road too far!

[Heroic Mulatto]

Can a man marry his car?

Of course! Where do you think Transformers come from?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You don't have to marry the car, if the milk is free?

Some Transformers are bastards.

As a side note, I watched the last Transformers movie on Amazon Prime last night...Michael Bay outdid himself in terrible movie making annals.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Well, considering there are only like 5 female Transformers...

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

"More importantly, can a man marry his Playstation?"

I know a few women who would argue their boyfriends already have.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

When the fleshlight controller comes out, civilization will end.

[SimonJester]

http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/h.....e-nsfw.asp

Fleshlight iPad case.

[paranoid android]

Can a man marry his car?

ROGER TAYLOR, YOUR DAY WILL COME!

[SimonJester]

Really? Not a Ford Prefect joke?

[AlgerHiss]

Well, if today I can be a male, and tomorrow I am a female....or today, I am white and tomorrow I am black...then I would say your suggestions aren't all that out of line.

[bassjoe]

All we found out today is there no legitimate state interest in denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples while providing them to opposite-sex couples. Whether there is a legitimate state interest in the "gotcha" troll-y hypotheticals you posted I'm sure will be hashed out, sooner or later. My answers:

1. Most likely yes. I don't think, under Kennedy's reasoning, there should be any 14th Amendment difference between same-sex marriages and polyamorous marriages. That said, countless laws are based on the presumption that only two people are involved in a marriage union; is that presumption unconstitutional? Who knows at this point.

2. most likely no. There may be a legitimate state interest in banning such unions as that they may involve improper coercion and/or abuse.

3. most likely no. See #2.

4. Most likely yes. See #1.

[PM]

Correct answers are No, No, No and No, respectively. There's no lobby or popular support for polygamy or incest and probably isn't going to be any time soon. Until there is, there will always be a "legitimate state interest" in those restrictions.

[Fist of Etiquette]

All we found out today is there no legitimate state interest in denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples while providing them to opposite-sex couples.

Normals will no longer couple up and perpetuate the species if they can get licensed to couple up with the gays.

[jesse.in.mb]

NO SAMESIES

[Fist of Etiquette]

I SHOWED YOU THAT.

[jesse.in.mb]

I just assumed showing me months ago and then setting up the joke now was part of your well thought out master plan. Sheesh.

[AlgerHiss]

"...countless laws are based on the presumption that only two people are involved in a marriage ..."

Not long ago, this "presumption" you talk about included gender. Sounds like your "presumptions" aren't too sound.

[JayWye]

the "legitimate state interest" is that SOCIETY is who defines what constitutes marriage,not the courts. And Society has always defined marriage as man-woman,been that way for several thousand years of human existence. 30 of 50 US states VOTED that way. And SCOTUS flipped them the bird. Gov't has no more power or authority than what the People (society) permit.

[Suthenboy]

"May 3 gay guys get married?

Can a father marry his two sons, or just the one?

May a mother marry her daughter and her daughter's friend?

May 2 guys marry 2 girls?

If not, why not?"

I don't know. I don't care. It isn't any of my business.

[SimonJester]

Marrying intergenerationally, that is, a father marrying his son, has one significant problem for his Uncle Sam -- passing assets to a spouse is a great way to avoid taxes.

For Example:
Tom and Sally have millions in assets. They have four children, Allen, Barry, Cathy, and Deirdre. T and S have enough assets that they want to avoid the estate tax. So, using a court-approved mediator, Tom and Sally divorce. They split their assets 50:50. A, B, C, and D, if the are married, also divorce and give 100% of their assets to the spouse.

Tom weds A and B, for 1 week, and passes on a good portion of his assets to them. Since they are technically married all assets transfer to the spouse without tax consequence.

Sally does the same for C and D. During this time, Tom and Sally are going through marriage counseling.

At the end of this wee, using a different court approved mediator Tom dumps A and B, Sally dumps C and D. A, B, C, and D are brokenhearted, but at least they have a few extra million. They go back to their spouses and money has passed down a generation in a family and avoids tax consequence entierly.

See, the problem with these suggestions, particularly about family, has more to do with taxes and morals. And Uncle Sam is always loathe to give up on any opportunity to get his cut.

NB: I supposet 1, 2, 3. I am a much MUCH larger supporter of 4, however, and I think 3+ marriages are the way of the future.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

You know who else used massed marketing to drive social change....

[Pan Zagloba]

The Grachii brothers?

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

Jesus?

[X[redacted]s]

Don Draper?

[Judge Chipper]

Black Sabbath?

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

Goebbels?

[wareagle]

mother fuckety fuck. THIS is why people suck. I don't care who marries whom but I can live without the bombardment of officially-approved messages telling me what the correct thoughts and views are.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

This ^^^

Seriously fuck these people.

[Apatheist ?_??]

That's like all advertising...

[Hugh Akston]

Are they telling you what to think or are they telling you what they think?

[Lady Dalrymple]

I don't care what they think. Why should we care what they think?

It's just social signaling.

[Hugh Akston]

It's marketing. They are raising brand awareness by reaching out to people on an issue that they care about.

[A special place in JW's Hell]

WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING THE RIBBON?

I don't see this as what you describe, but I dig the sentiment. The over-the-top lefty social signalling celebration of the decision is beyond tedious.

I agree with the decision, but for fuck's sake, WE GET IT. YOU LIKE CAKE.

[Old Man With Gag Order]

But I don't *want* to wear the ribbon!

[A Self-Identified $park?]

Who doethn't wanth to wear the riboon?

[Crusty Juggler]

It is so true. The Seinfeld "street tough" sentiment has taken over society.

[AlgerHiss]

Great you brought up "the ribbon". Take a look at a hilarious but accurate depiction of exactly what is wrong with the goofy "lgbt" crowd and all of their "gayness":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iV8X8ubGCc

And the best part is, this was put out by a precious Hollywood lefty.

Enjoy! And laugh your bum off!

Hell, this Seinfeld clip shows just how awful that goofy Larry Kramer is.

[A Self-Identified $park?]

Way ahead of you, buddy. Everybody already got the reference.

[AlgerHiss]

No, maybe YOU got the reference, but not everyone got it.

Why would you think everyone watches a particular TV show?

[BuSab Agent]

You know I used to like rainbows. Now I can't have a rainbow anything without people thinking I'm gay, NTTAWWT.

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

Join the club. Now I can't go back to my beloved bowl cut without people thinking I'm a violent racist shitbag.

[AlgerHiss]

Something is making you quite uncomfortable. What might that be?

If you don't care who marries who, then why are you all upset?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Bridgestone tires? More like Brimstone tires. Am I right, people?

[Judge Chipper]

+1 Mayfag!

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Have a Coke and a smile - RIGHT UP YOUR ASS.

[Raybiker73]

Buy four Brimstone tires and get a free rim job (void where prohibited)?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Chipotle is involved in social signaling? No fucking way!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

P.S. Chipotle is fucking gross.

That is all.

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

Chipotle is an insult to burritos.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Chipotle is an insult to humanity.

[Old Man With Gag Order]

Hey, they make tofu burritos, so shove your Chipotle hate up your carnivorous asshole.

Yeah, the food there sucks.

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

There was once a burrito cart here in DC that sold vegetarian burritos, and only vegetarian burritos.

Best fucking burrito I have ever had in my life. And there was no goddamn tofu on it.

And the (sadly, former) owner is a small-l libertarian. But who wouldn't be after being run out of town by DC health code regulators?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

What was it? Grilled veggies? I have to know soon, it's lunchtime.

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

You put your cheese on your tortilla. Then you lightly steam your cheesy tortilla to melt the cheese and give the tortilla some elasticity. Then you put your rice and your refried beans and your guac and your sour cream and your hot sauce and your pico de gallo. Then you wrap it up.

[NoVAHockey]

uh, try the guy at 15th and K by the CVS. i think this is your guy.

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

Not the same. Though his burritos are similar.

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

I thought DC had done something to accommodate the food trucks. I tend to avoid them because there's always a huge line in front of all the ones by my office.

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

This was back in the 90's when food trucks weren't a "thing". this was a little cart at 19th & K, on the sidewalk.

After DC fucked them, they moved their operation to a brick-and-mortar in Wheeling, WV. Then they got divorced and sold the business.

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

That's a shame.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Imagine a food truck that only sold products made from Kosher for Passover Coca-Cola.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Sign me up. Especially since you-know-who wouldn't be there.

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

If you go out early, the lines aren't too long. The good ones are, IMO, Dorothy Moon's or Burgorilla (for burgers), Big Cheese (hipster grilled cheese) and Lilypad (Ethiopian).

Haven't tried the Red Hook Lobster truck, but that's because I'm not too keen on eating a crustacean from the Gowanus Canal.

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

Between the heat and the total douchery of most Washingtonians, I typically just bring my lunch, but I'll check a few of those out some day when I'm feeling lazy.

[Old Man With Gag Order]

You actually can make an excellent burrito with tofu- it's just that Chipotle doesn't. We did some last night with Morningstar Farms ground beef analog and it was fucking tasty. Ghost Pepper jack and chipotle (lower case) frijoles in the stuffing.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That Morningstars Farm shit is disgusting. Sounds to me like you stacked enough over it to hide the vileness.

[Old Man With Gag Order]

Their ground "beef" is actually pretty good. Ditto the Grillers Original. Not crazy about the rest. Gardein has come on strong and done some great "chicken" products.

[Suthenboy]

Tofu? Vegetarian burritos? Beef analog?

What the hell is wrong with you people?

[Old Man With Gag Order]

We're all gayed out and just want to have a decent meal.

[thom]

There's no need for tofu when you have beans. Beans are full of protein. It amazes me that people worry about getting enough protein with their massive serving of protein.

[lap83]

"That is all."

If only.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I only say it when it needs to be said.

You had Chipotle for lunch, didn't you?

[Hugh Akston]

Of all the people in this thread with odious axes to grind, yours is easily the most loathsome.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You must be butthurt from all of the bloody diarrhea.

[Hugh Akston]

I just buy new underwear.

[The Last American Hero]

Nothing from the real winners, AKA The National Association of Divorce Lawyers? Or are they so staggeringly drunk from the celebration?

[Jordan]

Lawyers always win, so this is just another day for them.

[Jordan]

"Homo Estas"

Seriously?

[Heroic Mulatto]

And that's the censored version.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Like your link.

[Old Man With Gag Order]

In the finest SugarFree tradition, minus the Michelle Obama penis references.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I blame Postrel.

[Jordan]

Can't tell if their marketing team is run by dudebros or femtards.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Hmm. You read Out? Is that where you fashion tips come from?

[Heroic Mulatto]

God no! I'd never wear skinny lapels.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Mulatto sugarfrees the links more than Sugarfree does.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Well, I am lactose intolerant. So call me DairyFree.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

INTOLERANT??!! I KNEW IT!!

STONE HIM!!!

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Stone me! Stone me!

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Sorry - I meant HM - DAMNED THREADING!!

*shakes fist at computer*

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Well, I am lactose intolerant. So call me DairyFree.

"I'll have a tall lowfat DairyFreeMulatto to go. "

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

"I eat burritos" and "I eat tacos"

Nice

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

I actually have always preferred the burritos over the tacos. Not until this moment have I realized how gay I've been. Tonight I'm going to tell my wife, that I've always been more a of a burrito guy. I need to reevaluate my life.

[AlmightyJB]

I'd like to teach the world to puke /drunk uncle

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Woo! This is a proper libertarian post about gay marriage. Companies using the news to sell shit.

It warms my heart.

[Medical Physics Guy]

Okay, that is amazing, and would have been inconceivable as recently as the 90s.

Meanwhile, enjoy Bill Kristol's pantswet.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

"But as Alexander Hamilton (another recent object of the left's perpetual discomfort with human achievement) wrote in Federalist 70"

????

Is this Kristol referencing him getting booted in favor of a woman? Because the left didn't want Hamilton kicked off the 10, they wanted Jackson kicked off the 20.

"Of course the very term "peak leftism" makes that point. The term plays off the claim that America, or the world, had reached "peak oil." But it turns out that "peak oil" wasn't a peak. Fracking means we're producing more oil than ever before. So, to pursue the analogy, will the left's cultural fracking take it to new heights?"

Cultural fracking? Does that even count as a metaphor since it makes no sense?

Also, solid mixed metaphor since fracking is somehow elevated something to new heights.

Kristol is just terrible sometimes.

[Lady Dalrymple]

Kristol is a terrible writer, boring and pedantic.

Andrew Ferguson is good, though.

[Calidissident]

Is Hamilton getting booted or are there going to be different version of the $10 bill?

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

Because I subscribe to the principle of self-ownership, I think it's just dandy for gay people to do what they do (whether the govt should be involved in ANY adult relationship is another question). But the contrarian in me can't take much more of this rainbow bandwagoneering. Just about at my breaking point on Facebook where something rude is gonna fly of my keyboard.

[Slammer]

At least you can look forward to getting your old couch moved, and, uh, meat.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Oh, I've made sure I'm signed out of facebook at both work and home, and trying to remember not to visit my usual pop-culture sites (save Hit&Run;). I don't want my happiness for the decision to be brought down by the smugness.

[wareagle]

Tell it. This everything-as-political-statement shit is tedious.

[Tman]

Holy shit this^^.

I keep seeing "#loveconquersall" from the same people who last week were ready to physically lynch anyone even remotely connected to the South.

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

That was actually as recently as two days ago...

[lap83]

I am sure they were just going to love them to death

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

But first... ru-ru!

[PACW]

That explains the banjo music.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

I know. But if you expressed that sentiment just about anywhere other than this board you'd be called a homophobic bigot. You're either on the SJW bandwagon in support of social liberalism, or you're a cisgendered shitlord klansman.

[John]

No you are a racist who is still angry about Loving v Virginia if you think the gays are anything but a sacred and superior class.

The social signaling on here is stomach turning. God damn it reasonites love gays and love gay marriage. Don't you forget it.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Homo estas?

Well I think we have a winner.

[Jordan]

Any woodchipper manufacturers on the list? Gay people have the same need to dispose of tyrannical federal judges as the rest of us.

[Winston]

Including the ones that gave them Gay Marriage?

[Lee G]

Just Assplundh

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

+1 forestry service provider

[Kristen?s Vermeer]

+internetz

[lafe.long]

Ask, and ye shall receive:
Chipperdales

[A special place in JW's Hell]

Rainbows? Honestly, I don't know if I'd want my main symbol to be that gay.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

Besides doesn't all this flamboyant shit support a stereotype? It's like a black civil rights organization adopting a watermelon for their symbol.

[Winston]

You Know Who Else wanted everyone make an approved political statement?

[Heroic Mulatto]

The Catholic Church?

[GILMORE, LVL20 Blowhard]

" American brands aren't worried about alienating customers with pro-gay-marriage messages perhaps shows us more than anything that America is ready for marriage equality to be the law of the land"

If it sells more X to Joe Blow consumer.... i assure you, [Global X-Selling Company] would find anything/everything from Child Slavery to Medieval Inquisitions as equally copacetic as Same Sex Marriage. It just depends where they're selling it

**it would also be interesting to do a compare/contrast of the ads that these same countries run in places where gay marriage is not just 'unwelcome', but considered ghastly...if anything, you would learn far more - like, how 'gay friendly' is...say, SAB Miller in... Africa?

Diving in headfirst with an 'issue campaign' when a consumer population is split 60/40 is not quite as brave as it might seem as long as they have a reasonable degree of confidence that the split will be 80/20 in short order.

i.e. its not the level of the indicator, its generally the rate of change, and the direction.

[Dark Lord of the wood chipper]

It changes the calculus a bit when one side is well known to boycott companies that don't send the correct signals.

[Winston]

Question: Is marriage a right? And if so how can government "get out of it"?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Marriage and marriage recognition should be two different subjects.

[IceTrey]

There's always going to be the question of mental competence. That is one of the reasons why states issue licenses. For instance they won't issue one if one of the people has dementia.

[Winston]

Corporate America engaging in social signaling? What a shock!

[IceTrey]

You've never had to be in love to get married.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You cynical bastard.

[Winston]

So does gay marriage make up for King vs. Burwell?

[IceTrey]

I think King vs. Burwell is a loss for the Feds since now all the states are going to push their citizens on to the federal exchange and it's going to be very expensive for them. Of course maybe that was the plan all along to bring about single payer?

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

"Tell me about it."

/Donald Trump

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You've never had to be in love to get married.

And if you were in love, marriage can sometimes make you hate a mother-fucker like nothing else.

/Not cynical

[Woodchip-o-Matic 5000]

If anyone in my office turned in a brief with a purple or light green binder clip, I'd try to have them disbarred.

[JAMuary]

I rarely comment, but reading through that SCOTUS decision on marriage this AM, I found an incredible number of typically tedious posts by Bo (my second least favorite poster, after Cyto-"I pretend I am an American but really Im from Canada and am not even serving in their pathetic military-despite constantly clammoring for the involvement of yours-with the purpose of killing the same brown people I desperately want to flood into your country with unlimited immigration"-toxic), and lo and behold...

He's attending a law school in SC?

Ugh. I just became a resident there. 2 days ago. And I'm in a graduate ME program. And I'm worried that now I will encounter him in real life on a particular campus with a particular citrus theme, where I cannot simply flip to the next article.

Any tips or suggestions from the knowledgable, erudite, and absolutely not boorish or arborially-inclined commentary?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Bo isn't real.

[JAMuary]

Maybe hes a synthetic towel?

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

I'd kick him in his gunt.

But that's just me. I'm old and I don't give a shit, and have NO patience any more.

[lap83]

Pretend to be genuinely interested in him and ask all about his classes to see if he can keep his story straight

[JAMuary]

That would be entertaining

But I'm not sure I could handle a conversation with that guy. I'd mis-pronounce one word and he'd start going on about how he could tell from the glint in my eyes that I was one of them there autistic, confederate-flag-waving, neo-republican-tarians.

I'm mostly looking for someone to tell me just exactly which college in SC he attends.

So that I can hide and/or obtain a woodchipper. For the noise of course. To cover my breathing in my hiding spot.

[Dark Lord of the wood chipper]

I thought tulp I mean Bo said he graduated? Is he claiming to be in school again?

[A Self-Identified $park?]

He was claiming to be a lawyer until R C called him on it. He could still be in high school for all we know.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

He's attending a law school in SC?

Don't worry. He's probably not a really going law school. Some days he claims to be a bona fide attorney, other days he tells us that his graduated but needs to pass the bar. Some days he claims to have just passed the bar, though some would claim it was sock puppet Bo on that occasion. And I guess you found him on a day when he claims he's actually still in law school. Bo is just a big bag of lies and exaggerations and at best, some bad faith arguments.

So don't worry, unless his mom's basement is near your school, you'll never see him.

[Winston]

Is Bo Tulpa? What evidence do we have to be believe that he is from South Carolina? Has he made any comments that would imply he has some native knowledge of South Carolina?

[JAMuary]

The SCOTUS thread with like 500 comments from this morning. Someone, or maybe Bo himself, refrences law school in SC

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

I don't think Bo is Tulpa. Bo is just a blowhard who may or may not have been spoofed by Tulpa once or twice.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

Bo is definitely not Tulpa and that claim is ludicrous. Tulpa gets called out for being Tulpa whenever he shows up under a new handle and we normally notice it's him within a day. No way Tulpa managed to pretend to be Bo for an entire year.

[Sidd Finch v2.01]

Bo doesn't know basic math. There's no way Tulpa's ego could allow that.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

The only dumber conspiracy theory than Tulp-Bo is the idea spread by Mike M that Palin's Buttplug is Dave Weigel.

I don't even know where to begin with that one.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Isn't Dave Weigel a former reason staff dude. Am I wrong? Did he have a history of sock puppetry in the commentariat?

[Sidd Finch v2.01]

He covered the 2008 (IIRC) election for Reason.

Not that I know of.

[JAMuary]

Well that's encouraging. There is an awful lot of text and time committed to that persona for it to be fabricated. I almost feel bad for whoever it is.

As a carpetbagging Yankee transplant, I was stunned at the lack of basements in this state. No one builds them. All slab construction and ranches with carports.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

I don't think he's Tulpa or that Bo has sockpuppets necessarily. I think he' just a blowhard on the internet who tells lies with a grain of truth but he can't keep his lies straight so he makes lots of contradictory claims.

Yeah I forgot they're not big on basement in those parts. Water tables are a lot higher down south methinks.

[Dark Lord of the wood chipper]

That and a lot of solid rock a few feet beneath the surface.

[Florida Man]

Eh. The odds of actually meeting him are low I suspect. If you do, live and let live.

[JAMuary]

Oh I have no intentions of trying to debate him or confront him in any way.

I feel bad for him, at the beginning it seemed like alot of people here liked talking with him and he seemed well spoken, but as time went on it just became all very confrontational and contrarian.

More of a, Im the kind of person who likes to watch train wrecks, kind of thing.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

He became convinced anyone who disagrees with him on any subject even tangentially related to race is a racist and that everyone was a 'gamergate psychopath,' which is still his all-time funniest insult.

Oh, next to "outraged white man brigade." That insult has a special place in my heart because it led to people writing parodies of Charge of the Light Brigade which were about Bo's noble quest against the racist hordes.

[JAMuary]

Haha I didn't know it was Bo that started the OWMB.

There were so many excellent puns and lyrical opportunities taken during that week/weeks

[A Self-Identified $park?]

I noticed today he had a thing for calling everyone autistic. So whatever he is, he's most likely a real piece of shit in real life.

[Trshmnstr, Eau de Toilet]

He was always contrarian and pedantic, but he's gone off the deep end. I remember making arguments that he wasn't a troll, but just really bad at making his point. My mind has certainly changed on that one.

[Sidd Finch v2.01]

I've never seen an engineering school next to an old train station (true story), so you should be okay.

[JAMuary]

Haha

Actually theres a station right across the street from a Starbucks 1/4 mile off campus....

[Sidd Finch v2.01]

If it's a functioning station, you're good.

[GILMORE, LVL20 Blowhard]

You are more likely to be gored by a Unicorn

[JAMuary]

lol

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

"after Cyto-"I pretend I am an American but really Im from Canada and am not even serving in their pathetic military-despite constantly clammoring for the involvement of yours-with the purpose of killing the same brown people I desperately want to flood into your country with unlimited immigration"-toxic"

Cytotoxic has explained this time and again - he's a thinker, not a fighter. His job is to have brilliant ideas before which the rest of us are powerless.

[A Self-Identified $park?]

I can't decide if he's the most useless fucking retard in existence or just way up near the top of the list.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

Cyto aka Mr. blow up as many Muslims as possible overseas, but let as many as possible immigrate into the United States to share with us their wonderful culture.

Frankly I never quite understood this position.

[JAMuary]

I really wish you other commenters would call him out on that in immigration threadds when he's busy screaming about xenophobia.

Enact my labor for me, you slackers.

[Dark Lord of the wood chipper]

I tried once. The answer was basically " it's complicated".

[JAMuary]

I liked the movie better

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

I've brought up the contradiction multiple times and he outright does not care.

[JAMuary]

Maybe they change when you put them in North America south of the Canadian border? Like those sponge things you put in a water bottle and they turned into big dinosaurs

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

Cyto aka Mr. blow up as many Muslims as possible overseas, but let as many as possible immigrate into the United States to share with us their wonderful culture.

Frankly I never quite understood this position.

Exactly. Neither one of those position seem very rational to me on their own merit, but then you combine them and it's just an explosion of nonsense.

[F. Libertarian Stalin, Jr.]

+1 unrestricted abortions for all, then cradle to grave care for those that are born

[JAMuary]

Now I understand that it is actually my own personal failings leading to my misinterpretation of his glory and wisdom.

Shucks, I feel like a jerk now

[Crusty Juggler]

Who are your favorite commenters?

[A Self-Identified $park?]

Hint: Everyone but Crusty Juggler is the correct answer.

[Florida Man]

It's comments like these that make me like CJ moar. Also we seem to have similar taste in wimmenz...they must have a pulse.

[jesse.in.mb]

they must have a pulse

Do not believe.

[Sudden]

still warmer than room temperature?

[Crusty Juggler]

Goodness gracious.

[JAMuary]

Well the new woodchipper handles have me all sorts of confused, and I never really keep track of that...

But I would say:

Irish
Sudden
Jesse (in something, a state?)
Someone with something about surveying equipment in switzerland
John (the one who misspells things pretty often)
Gilmore (the fashion reviews when the Independents were on)
Nikki (ironically)
Ken (except when he does the word police stuff)

Agile Cyborg

And anyone who got a sub pee nah...infamy is always cool

[Sudden]

Aw shucks, I'm flattered.

I always figured I was persona non-grata around these parts because I'm a misanthropic asshole who has no problem with giving voice to crimethink.

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

My feelz, my poor little feelz.

[jesse.in.mb]

Ack, I'm on (another) list!

Oh wait, this one's good. Hey thanks!

[Trevor St McGoodbody]

Why should I trust Maytag's signaling on gay marriage? It's a racist organization that won't let me mix whites and colors.

[Trshmnstr, Eau de Toilet]

#zinger

[A Self-Identified $park?]

You can get detergent that's colored safe.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Schmitts Gay got there first:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkcwevtCrYA

[BiMonSciFiCon]

That's not Farley and Sandler. Thank you, reasonable, for saving me a click.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

OK, Mr. Picky...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Yr_PGbtRrY

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Thank you.

"If you've got big thirst any you're gay, reach for a big tall bottle of Schmitts Gay."

Classic.

[The Late P Brooks]

Is this a great country, or what?

[Free ?Woodchippers! Society]

USA! USA! USA! USA!

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

I'm lovin' it

[Winston]

When has marriage been about love? It's all about money!

[The Late P Brooks]

Kristol is just terrible sometimes.

sometimes

[Acosmist]

Prediction: shit-tons of Chick-Fil-A sold today, not so much of the stuff listed above.

[Dot]

Funny enough, a several of my gay friends on fb were like 'Can I finally eat at Chic Fil A now?'

[Hugh Akston]

So instead of 'top' and 'bottom' are we now referring to them as 'washer' and 'dryer'?

[Knarf Yenrab!]

So who gets to empty Hugh's lint trap first?

[A Self-Identified $park?]

Wells Fargo has been pushing this for at least the past two weeks. And I saw a new Tylenol ad last night.

[Knarf Yenrab!]

Just you wait until Starbucks unveils its "Race Together Until #LoveWins" campaign.

[John]

So much for gay culture being subversive and interesting. Is there any sub culture more fucking tiresome and conformist? These people make the snake handler nuts look diverse.

[Trshmnstr, Eau de Toilet]

snake handler nuts

Hey, whatever the gays want to do behind closed doors is between them and God. I don't need to be hearing about handling their "snakes" and "nuts."

:p

[Sudden]

The only thing that is subversive these days is being a cisgendered white heterosexual male with traditional values. And that is so subversive that it will require 8 year olds to attend re-education camps to find their inner catamite within a generation.

[Napoleon Bonoparte]

Such a to-do over a court decision that might affect 0.5% of the population on the outside. I live in a state that's had gay marriage for some time, I work in a major city and know plenty of gay people. And I have yet to meet one married gay couple. So now that all the SJW's and cosmotarians have had their signalfest, can we all please all get back to our regularly scheduled lives? Thank you.

[Irish Says Enough Woodchippers]

Awwwww, that's cute. Uber thinks they can make the fascist progressives like them by putting out ads about gay marriage.

[Winston]

Uber Reason thinks they can make the fascist progressives like them by putting out ads articles about gay marriage.

[Crusty Juggler]

This article is soooooooooooo gay.

[Sudden]

The ubiquity in the celebration of the SSM decision by the court today is evidence of how completely meaningless the decision actually was.

SSM is a trademark example of Principles over Principals for the vast majority of people. Ten years ago, firm majorities opposed SSM. Today, firm majorities support it. The entire cultural and commercial apparatus of the US and the broad West are supportive of SSM. None of this has fuckall to do with liberty or equality.

One is not a defender of liberty and equality when they support the rights of those they celebrate (i.e. the gays). One is only a defender a liberty and equality when they defend the rights of those they abhor (racists flying the confederate flag, for example).

But reason will gladly confuse the Marcusian cultural marxist moment for the libertarian moment yet again.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

Well said.

[Winston]

But reason will gladly confuse the Marcusian cultural marxist moment for the libertarian moment yet again.

I'm reminded of how female suffrage, by far a more important social advancement than gay marriage, was passed in Russia mere months before Lenin took over.

[Napoleon Bonoparte]

SSM is a trademark example of Principles over Principals for the vast majority of people. Ten years ago, firm majorities opposed SSM. Today, firm majorities support it. The entire cultural and commercial apparatus of the US and the broad West are supportive of SSM. None of this has fuckall to do with liberty or equality.

At some point you have to ask yourself, what use are libertarians when they're selling us the same product the major parties are? I suspect if a libertarian ever wins a major office, no one will ever know the difference.

[Sudden]

Well, libertarians do offer broadly different policy ideas than the other parties in several major policy areas. And I didn't mean to say that SSM is contra-libertarian at all. Libertarians are, and have been for their entire existence, supporters of SSM broadly. But the thing is that there are principled christian libertarians who supported SSM while they personally abhor the practice or find it sinful. Those are people I can respect. Similar to the way that I would never seek to stop Bruce Jenner from butchering his genitals or appearing on the cover of Vogue playing tuck it and make believe, but I personally find that behavior to be not merely not worth celebrating but rather worthy of at the very least professional psychiatric treatment, or at worst contempt and scorn.

Sadly, we're in the age of narcissism now where the vast majority's view on any given issue is "if I like it, it should be legal/mandated.... if I dislike it, it should be illegal."

[John]

That is a great post Sudden.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

This is really bringing out the loons.

[Napoleon Bonoparte]

Hey - it's My Truth! Deal.

[dpbisme]

One wonders where the Straight Pride comments are?

[Pinky]

Were is Mount Gay Rum in all of this?

[Woodchipper of the Apocalypse]

Congrats to gay people for joining government protected status.

Polygamists, animal fuckers, objectum sexualists, and the rest of you weirdos can piss right off.

[AlgerHiss]

Do we detect the "lgbt" members all of a sudden going Jerry Falwell on us?

Are you rainbow folks having dinner with Pat Robertson?

Huh. Funny how all of a sudden things change a bit.

[F. Libertarian Stalin, Jr.]

Do we detect the "lgbt" members all of a sudden going Jerry Falwell on us?

Are you rainbow folks having dinner with Pat Robertson?

No. This is just you either being deliberately obtuse or authentically stupid.

[jesse.in.mb]

Hint: It can be both!

[JeremyR]

So, what's next, incest or polygamy?

Polygamy is my guess, but you never know.

[JPyrate]

ENB you have been hanging out with AC. I know it. =)

[Number 2]

I have noticed something: except for Maytag, not a single one of these advertisements allegedly celebrating gay marriage depicts anythingbearing even passing resemblance to an actual gay or lesbian couple. Many of the ads do not even mention gay or same-sex marriage, but appeared to be using euphemisms to avoid actually naming the subject they purport to be cheering.

Makes you wonder just how "accepting" Americans really are of same-sex relations, or if "society" has really progressed beyond Seinfeld's "not that there's anything wrong with it".

[cassandra3]

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[cesiletu]

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[pxfragonard]

The only person who can complete you is the one who has the other half of your reproductive organ, the only one that has no function without an other.