Bobby Jindal

Bobby Jindal Announces His Bid to Lead the Stupid Party


The Washington Post is reporting that Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal will announce his presidential bid today. But

Bobby Jindal
Gage Skidmore / Foter / CC BY-SA

the saddest thing about his announcement is not that this once-rising star with a real head for deep thoughts and a real taste for policy wonkery is running dead last in the polls these days – even behind the None of the Above option.

It is also not that he has so mismanaged his state's finances (after being a stalwart of school choice and pro-economic growth policies post-Katrina) that unhappy state legislators from his own party last year tried to stop paying for his security detail at presidential campaign events. (He balanced the Bayou State's yawning $1.6 billion deficit this month with gimmicks worthy of fake gurus such as the hugging amma including the SAVE fund that'll impose a $1,500 fee on college students that they'll be instantly credited in full but will allow the state to raise $350 million on paper.)

It is also not that he is despised in his own Indian American community even more than white Republicans (he is the only politician to get booed by the crowd at the Madison Square Garden rally for Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi last September, a remarkable accomplishment for the first Indian American governor.)

It is that a man who once lectured Republicans to stop being the stupid party — a la Mitt Romney's notorious comments about the 49 47 percent "takers" and the need for Hispanics to self-deport — and had the potential to be its thought leader is staking political positions that'll make him the proud standard bearer of the stupid party.

He wants to:

  • out-oppose his party's opposition on gay marriage ("Polls indicate that the American consensus [that marriage is between a man and a woman] is changing — but like many other believers, I will not change my faith-driven view on this matter, even if it becomes a minority opinion.")
  • out-spend the party on defense spending ("[We] cannot afford to not increase defense spending.)
  • out-hysteric the party hysterics on the Muslim threat (he has refused to walk back his comment in London that Muslim immigrants have created "no-go zones" in Europe where non-Muslims are not welcome, which is demonstrably false.)
  • out-hunker the hunker-down element by restricting admission of immigrants who allegedly cling to their native culture. ("I'm tired of the hyphenated Americans. No more 'African-Americans.' No more 'Indian-Americans.' No more 'Asian-Americans.'")

So far this strategy of machismo that has required trading in his (Rhodes scholar) thinking cap for cowboy boots and hunting guns hasn't won him too many friends inside or outside the GOP.  But it is still early — and he's still a smart man, so film at eleven.

My previous pieces on Jindal's here, here and here.

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  1. I’d be pretty stoked if None Of The Above actually won.

    1. Prize for most creative reconception of handle goes to…..

      1. nice try, narc!

    2. Brewster tried it.

    3. I bet these red necks in new hamphsire are all racists….look at them trying to intimidate polite government workers merely trying to do their honest days work.

  2. Leadership. Its not a slave auction.

    Or wait…. Is it? I’ll offer $500 for Huckabee. He can do my laundry.

    1. I’ll bid $550. He can do MY laundry and be a sub when my bass player goes on vacation.

      1. I’ll bid $600. I want to force him to get fat again like a foie gras goose.

        1. Actually, let me see what i got in savings. I may buy ALL the candidates and see if i can’t make a nice human centipede out of them.

        2. I think you should start a kickstarter …..

          1. .. if you actually started one, would that constitute a True Threat?

  3. Haven’t rtfa yet but I’m sure this will be fun.

    1. Shika seems to have cornered the market in “hysterical bitching about shit other Indian-Americans do”

      1. I’ve been informed by WaPo that there is almost no Indian left in Bobby Jindal.

        1. He’s the wrong kind of non-white.

          1. I believe the correct term for Indian- and Asian-Americans is super-duper-privileged, as their average incomes are even higher than the average white income. Just look at all those privileged Vietnamese boat people whose kids go on to medical school and those privileged Subway franchisees who work 70-hour weeks in the business they own.

            When will this nation ever get serious about social justice?

            1. #asianprivilege

  4. There is no bigger mistake you can make than having any sort of faith or hope in a politician. They’re just fuckhead humans like the rest of us. They will disappoint you. I just do not understand this desire people have for some asshole to come fucking save them or to save the day. It’s…vulgar. It’s pathetic.

    1. Would you say you have…faith that he’ll be bad? BOOM I JUST DISPROVED ATHEISMS! IN YOUR FACE! GOD RULES! FUCK YOU!

      1. *chuckles

    2. They are not like the rest of us. They are far more narcissistic, venal, and grasping.

    3. I don’t know or care much about him but after reading this article I kind of want to vote for him just because.

    4. My most redemptive act so far was having power and dominion over others….and walking away from it. Got my soul back.

      1. Nicely done.

      2. Congratulations! Your soul is worth as much as it weighs.

  5. Shikha is too biased to cover a fellow Indian-American. We need a more neutral observer.

  6. It is that a man who once lectured Republicans to stop being the stupid party ? a la Mitt Romney’s notorious comments about the 49 percent “takers” and the need for Hispanics to self-deport …

    It was 47%. At least get the hysterical talking points correct.

    1. It’s kind of like in Animal House withe the Germans invading Pearl Harbor. Just let it go, she’s on a roll.

      1. Shikha: “What the fuck happened to the Reason I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? ‘Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you Shikha, we might get in trouble!’ Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this! “

  7. He is widely known for being the worst governor in Louisiana history, and that’s saying something.

    1. He ain’t even old-timey!

      1. He’s miscegenated!

        1. But is he bona fide?

          Happily, Khan was on one of the movie channels last night. My 100th viewing was just as awesome as the first.

          1. Hah! We watched it as well.

            I cry every time Old Yeller Spock dies…

            1. Dude! Spoiler alert!

    2. Outside of Louisiana, he isn’t known for much of anything besides being no true Indian.

      1. There is a pretty decent writeup on him from when he first appeared on the scene in ’96. Spoiler alert: He was a policy wonk at McKinsey and then recruited to Louisiana to head the Department of Health and Hospitals. Good luck finding someone who can account for his accomplishments there. I think you’d be hard pressed to scrape together 2 weeks of authentic private sector employment between Jindal and Obama combined.

      2. Dot not feather.

      3. Isn’t there a law that any true Louisianan has to have his picture or name on a bottle of either hot sauce or barbeque sauce?

    3. “He is widely known for being the worst governor in Louisiana history, and that’s saying something.”

      Worse than Huey Long? That seems a stretch.

      1. Maybe Mike Foster was worse. But Foster gave us Jindal so it’s a wash.

      2. Worse than the “Silver Zipper” or Uncle Earl (who was committed to an asylum while still governor)?

      3. Worse than the “Silver Zipper” or Uncle Earl (who was committed to an asylum while still governor)?

    4. Ha! You would stack up Mary Landrieu against this guy and say he was worse?!

      1. Mary Landrieu wasn’t governor. If we’re talking about the worst Louisiana politician, well that’s quite another story.

      2. Since Landrieu was never governor of Louisiana, I’d say yes/

  8. You can approach peak stupid, but never reach it.

    1. We’re really riding that asymptote, huh.

      1. No need to get hyperbolic about it.

        1. Now you’re going off on a tangent.

            1. Swiss must be asleep at the wheel.

              1. *narrows waistband, utterly screwing up trying to fill in for Swiss*

                1. Um, why are wearing a corset?

              2. Hmm, that’s not a good sine.

            2. I’m bifurcating right now. Does’t work? Ok I’ll go…

        2. Booo.

      2. Or is it riding us.

  9. “he has refused to walk back his comment in London that Muslim immigrants have created “no-go zones” in Europe where non-Muslims are not welcome, which is demonstrably false.)”

    How do you prove there aren’t any areas in Europe where non-Muslims are not welcome? This comment seems just as much a stretch as Jindal’s original comment.

    1. How would you prove that ‘demonstrable falsehood’?

      20 years ago, there were parts of some British towns where I felt distinctly uncomfortable, when walking around after dark. And I’m really not a timid, hysterical guy.

      I can’t imagine those places being any better, and I can *definitely* imagine being fearful if I was an unarmed woman. Just how fearful would I have to be to think I wasn’t welcome?

      1. I wonder if Mrs. Dalmia would like to take a stroll around Rotherham at night, alone.

        1. There are some very sketchy ethnic neighborhoods in Frankfurt, as I discovered accidentally one evening. The kind of places where you keep walking briskly and make no eye contact. I think it was Turkish but didn’t exactly stick around to take a poll.

      1. She’s wrong. There are very definitely places outside of Paris that no non-muslim would walk through without an escort.

        1. Demonstrably wrong?

          1. Yes.

        2. I was thinking of the banlieues as well. Not that it matters – it is amazing how quickly it has gone from fact to crimethought.

          1. And that’s why I invested ask of my money in aluminum foil.

            1. * all

              Yes we all have auto spell, but I’m also writing html code on a phone between turning the water to the the mid rise back on and welding some decorative iron.
              So there. I am renaissance man supreme, which grants me qualified immunity for auto spell mistakes.

        3. Why would they be afraid to attack me because I have a hooker with me?

    2. I wonder how she can still say this after that video went out of the jewish guy walking in muslim areas in france and all the things that were said to him.

  10. Jindal’s poll numbers and approval in Lousianna are terrible. The only thing he has to sell is that he has been a good governor. He can’t sell that if the people of his state disagree. He is not a threat for anything.

    Someone who is a real contender for a VP spot, is Nikki Haley. It will be funny watching Shika have kittens as the possibility of that happening gets greater. You think she is nasty to Indian men she feels like are traitors, imagine what she will be like going after another woman.

    1. Women are far more terrifying than men when the claws come out.

      1. Especially to each other.

      2. I’ll just put this here; Women kill the most children… *runs away*

        1. -1 baby fetus cell mass pre-adult icky thingy I don’t want

        2. Wait, are you trying to turn a Shikha thread into an abortion thread? You complete ASSHOLE.

  11. They may be the stupid party but there’s hella more of them in office than libertarians, who ought to learn a bit about getting elected or having some influence other than polling millennials and announcing the immanence of The Moment.

    1. Wow, you really don’t like it when someone calls Republicans stupid.

      What. A. Surprise.

      1. Considering that most of America is stupid, it is kind of a complement.

      2. Dude – his butt hurts. Let him suffer quietly.

      3. I agree they’re stupid, but they put people in elective office. I can’t figure out why the smart people can’t do that.

        1. perhaps because they’re less dishonest?

        2. perhaps because they’re less dishonest?

        3. Perhaps because they’re not as good at lying and pandering?

          1. Fuck you, squirrels.

        4. Why can’t you figure it out? Seems pretty clear to me. You win elections by winning the crowd, and winning a crowd isn’t the same as winning a logical debate. Gustave Le Bon taught us (and Mussolini, quite effectively) that you never try to reason with a crowd. So reasonable never wins elections.

    2. announcing the immanence of The Moment.

      Clap your hands if you Believe!

    3. Let’s be fair.
      A lot of republicans could be larval libertarians who simply haven’t had their dog shot yet

      Give them time.

      1. Well then I guess we’d better start putting on out fake police uniforms and sneaking up to their doghouses then, eh?

        That’s a joke, DOJ, just a joke.

      2. Then, a republican is just one dead dog away from a libertarian?

        Are democrats one dead cat away from libertarians. Or one state subsidized cat away from being Marxists?

      3. Then, a republican is just one dead dog away from a libertarian?

        Are democrats one dead cat away from libertarians. Or one state subsidized cat away from being Marxists?

    4. One almost gets the impression that Dalmia would prefer a candidate from the “actively evil party” over one from the “stupid party”.

    5. Fair enough

      Republicans are the stupid party

      Libertarians are the take pills to turn you blue and nominate a rhino who later hires himself off as PR to a dictator.

      Democrats are the end civilization then the human race party

  12. There would be one small compensation if he were to win the election: he would take away the “first Indian-American president” trophy from the Democrats, and that would make them shit a gold brick. They figure that all of the “first whatever” slots belong to them.

    It would be even sweeter if Fiorina took “first woman president”. The howling at Jezebel and Daily Kos would be sweet sweet music.

    Yeah, I know, both of them would find a way to make me regret that they’re president. But is there any candidate in either party who wouldn’t?

    1. Nah, Indian Americans don’t count in the Dem’s playbook cuz they’ve been too successful.

      Fiorina as First Woman President would be harder for the Dems to write off, but I’m sure they’d think of something.

      1. It will be easy enough to write off; just look at how ambivalent leftists in Britain are about Thatcher. They basically just act like it doesn’t count.

  13. I got partway through the Rhodes process. I was not necessarily deserving, but the process is, in a word, eccentric.

    1. “I’m an excellent driver.”

      1. Fishsticks, tuesday of course we have pizza friday.

    2. Heh, I never even thought about the process. Is it something you pursue and qualify for, or do they seek out candidates?

      1. You apply. They no longer consider sporting aptitude as much as they did originally, but still part of the interview process involves eating dinner.

        1. So the whole thing is complete horseshit – or just partly?

          1. Considering some of the famous people who did it, I’m going with bullshit.

      2. Also, if, say, you attend Harvard as an undergraduate, you are permitted to apply from your home state instead of Massachusetts, which is just how the winner from my pool did it.

    3. So, you couldn’t quit us after all, eh Tony?

      1. You know who else didn’t quit when the chips were down…

        1. The Frito Bandito?

        2. The Brush Master?

        3. Daniel Negreanu?

        4. All those guys on Poker After Midnight?

          1. Who do you think Daniel Negreanu is?

        5. Ricky Nelson?

          1. Hirohito? That is, until those two big final chips.

      2. He just wanted to brag about the time he got his mitts on a Rhodes application somehow.

      3. I’m quitting the guns discussion. I can’t deal with that quantity of psychopathy.

        1. The only psychopath here is the one who wants to forcefully deprive people of their right to defend their lives.

          1. The only psychopath

            You’re forgetting Warty. And STEVE SMITH.

          2. Since guns aren’t especially good killing machines, thus they definitely don’t increase the risk of death by their presence, just use your steak knife or crow bar, and everybody wins.

            1. If the other guy has a gun, a steak knife or crowbar isn’t going to do a lot of good.

              Nah. I’ll stick with my guns.

            2. Restor-woodchipper-as|6.24.15 @ 12:14PM|#

              Either guns are especially efficient means of killing people or they aren’t, and if they aren’t then they aren’t worth the obsession with respect to self-defense.

              Explosives killed more people in WW2 than guns so in terms of efficiency poison and explosives are more efficient.

              The advantage that a gun gives you over a blunt or sharp object is it removes unequal abilities as a factor in the outcome. If a guy the size of Mike Tyson is intent on causing me harm, and I only have a blunt object, then a) I have to close with him in order to use my blunt object, and b) his advantage in strength will quickly overpower me.

              If I have a gun in my hand, both of those factors in the outcome are removed and I am far more likely to prevail in the defense of my person and property.

              It isn’t hard to understand – unless you believe in magic.

              I can’t be here anymore. You people are fucking insane.

              Promises, promises.

              Guns are more efficient than hammers and chopping knives but less efficient than explosives and poison. Feel better now?

              1. Where do pointed sticks rate on that “ladder of deadliness”?

                1. Slightly above bananas.

                  1. I’ve seen frozen bananas used as hammers.

            3. So does this mean you’re officially coming out against knife control?

        2. Try taking Seroquel, it might help you keep those psychopathic urges under control.

        3. You quit because you had no response when we linked the data you requested?

          You asked for data regarding number of crimes stopped by firearms, and Francisco d’Anconia answered. Obviously, you didn’t like the data because you ignored it.

          You asserted that there was a correlation between gun ownership rates and gun homicides, and I gave you a link showing that wasn’t true. Again, you must not have liked the data because you ignored it.

          If psychopathy means following where the data leads, then I guess you are the sanest person here.

          1. You idiots use data as swingers use a hot tub. Only so many can fit, and they all have to be cool with the rules.

            1. But you look at all the data. Except for the data you didn’t look at…because it wasn’t cool with the rules, I assume.

  14. Once I started reading the article – without seeing the author’s name – I said to myself I bet this is a Shikha Dalmia piece. I scanned back up. And whaddya know.

    1. Exactly. I read Reason through Feedly, where the author’s name is in fine gray print at the top and easy to miss.

      I read through the Jindal-bashing, got to the point where he wasn’t Indian enough, and thought: this sounds like Shikha. Sure enough.

      And LOL at Jindal being booed at the reception for Narenda Modi – a Hindu nationalist under whose regime numerous Christian churches have been attacked and burned down.

      Shikha just seems to be deeply offended that Jindal isn’t Indian enough for her.

      1. Well, he is not Indian. He is a Louisiana politician through and through, born and raised right here. He is an American.

        1. Did you miss the articles where she complained about his apostasy?

          1. It really is like Salon-levels of idiocy. I don’t get it because she is reasonable on some topics.

            1. I must keep missing those articles where she’s reasonable.

          2. He quit smoking pot?

      2. Jindal, like all sensible minorities, is supposed to understand that white Christian rednecks are his mortal enemy, and he’s supposed to detest them with every fiber of his being.

        He doesn’t, and to this worthless little dipshit scumbagetta, that’s a crime that can never possibly be forgiven.

        1. Did we read the same article?

          1. We’ve got a new troll I see. It’s probably Mary Stack again.

  15. Nothing on Jindal’s apostasy? I’m teh disappoint…

    1. “You betrayed Shiva!”

  16. Shikha, you misspelled ‘Stoopid’.

    Jindal has a slightly smaller chance of winning the Whitehouse than I do. He is a RHINO’s RHINO and has the charisma of a used car salesman. He just doesn’t have national appeal.

    1. Suthenboy for President!

  17. he has refused to walk back his comment in London that Muslim immigrants have created “no-go zones” in Europe where non-Muslims are not welcome, which is demonstrably false.

    Are you kidding me. I have quite a few friends in France. There are many Muslim neighbourhoods the cops completely stay out of — if they drive in they immediately get rocks thrown at them, so they just don’t. This opinion is not the province of racists. Everyone knows this. And not just in France.

    Next time you consider taking that French vacation I’ll make sure and get you a tour of some banlieues Shikha. Maybe you’ll wish you tried a little harder as a journalist before you went.

  18. I find it hilarious that the one Presidential candidate whose announcement drives a Reason contributor to hysteria is Bobby Jindal of all people. Of course this is Dalmia’s personal vendetta on Jindal for not being Indian enough. For a magazine called Reason (drink!)….

    1. It’s pretty disgusting what goes on around here these days, isn’t it?

      1. Among the shittier parts of the comments, yes. The magazine is doing just fine.

  19. The time for a person of color to be POTUS has passed. It is now time for a person of useless vagina to be POTUS. After that it will be time for a homosexual of any color to be POTUS. After that it will be time for a transgender POTUS. After that it will be time for a rape victim POTUS. I can’t tell who’s time it will be after that; maybe during the homoPOTUS administration we’ll have invented a new victim group that we can champion for POTUS.

    1. we’ll have invented a new victim group that we can champion for POTUS.

      White Christian male?

      1. ISIS has a better chance of being a victim group.

        1. We call them undocumented activists now.

    2. James Buchanan was already the first (obviously) gay president.

      1. Sure, and that’s why his fianc?e dumped him after he spent the night with another chick.

  20. The most tragic part is that when Jindal is termed out as governor, the next in line is Diaper David Vitter, the family values socon who somehow survived cheating on his wife with prostitutes. Not to mention that the DC madam killed herself.

    1. Any chance John Georges could make another indy run?

      1. He has the money to mount an effective campaign, but he spent millions the last time and couldn’t even crack the double digits.

  21. “gimmicks worthy of fake gurus”


  22. Too bad he’s not a natural born Citizen.

  23. he has refused to walk back his comment in London that Muslim immigrants have created “no-go zones” in Europe where non-Muslims are not welcome, which is demonstrably false

    Okay, tell you what Ms. Dalmia, if you take a tour of the Paris cit?s wearing a yarmulke, I’ll concede your point with respect to Mr. Jindal.

  24. Uh, there are no go zones in Europe. relatively recently a guy tried dressing up a jew and visiting various Muslim areas in France. He was not welcomed

  25. “gimmicks worthy of fake gurus such as the hugging amma”

    She’s not a fake guru. This is just the kind of weirdness/banality that popular guru culture cranks out. Not every guru can be an intellectual like Osho or Da Free John (narcissistic white gurus with their own islands are the very best gurus, btw).

  26. Jindal might be just as bright as Clinton, but Bill had loads of charisma that Bobby can never match. Mugging for the camera in a duck blind ain’t exactly on the same level as chowing down at McDonald’s or charming the pants off every random stranger he encounters.

  27. Does anyone ever say they are running for the vice presidential nomination?

  28. Attack Republicans from the right. Attack Republicans from the left. Pretend that independents will stop looking at their navels and Democrat zombies will have a Damascus experience and build a grand libertarian coalition. Refill your crack pipe.

  29. And Hunting Guns ?

    Oh Dear ! Oh My !

    Hunting Guns !!

    * grabs pearls and fakes swoon until someone grabs me and holds me up*

  30. Bring on the disappointment!

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