F*cked Up College Campus Stories from Around the Country


Originally published June 12, 2015. Orignal text below:

From the story of Emma Sulkowicz (Columbia University's "Mattress Girl") to attempts to censor viewings of American Sniper at campus theaters to proceedings against feminist professor Laura Kipnis under federal anti-discrimination laws, there has been no shortage of odd and disconcerting controversies at the nation's colleges and universities.

Robby Soave covers the higher education beat for Reason.com and is credited with being one of the first journalists to question the retracted Rolling Stone story about a purported gang rape at the University of Virginia. He also reported extensively on the Sulkowicz case, protests against American Sniper, and how Title IX, a law designed to equalize opportunities for women in educational settings, is being used to chill speech on campus.

He sat down with Nick Gillespie to talk about the state of free speech and ideological orthodoxy on campus today—and to explain why there are reasons to believe political correctness is actually on the run. 

About 10 minutes.

Shot by Todd Krainin and Joshua Swain; edited by Swain.

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  2. So that Tulpa thread went to some dark places. I especially like this part where Tulpa starts blubbering about his many enemies, I call him out for sounding absurdly paranoid, and he claims that criticizing him for being insane makes me an ‘asshole.’


    “Lady Bertrum|6.13.15 @ 3:59PM|#

    So, if I say I think you’re a pathetic moron do those words mean “manly stud” in your brain?”


    If Postrel ever sees this, I bet she’ll be outraged at how you’ve betrayed her trust.

      1. So, I am in Chile right now and today we saw a copper mine. I told my host about Atlas Shrugged, in particular a character named Francisco d’Anconia who owned copper mines in Chile.

        He had never heard of the book but promised to pick it up. We did have a long chat about free markets, which he was a big believer in, and he was justifiably proud of Chile’s economy.

        By the way, Santiago is really beautiful, surprisingly modern and very cosmopolitan. It seemed much more like Europe than the 3rd world.

        1. Cool. I need to check it out. It’s ranked higher than the US for economic freedom. Maybe a good place to go WTSHTF.

          But, Francisco was from Chile’s socialist neighbor, Argentina.

          1. Yes, but IIRC he owned mines in Chile as well. Actually, the cool thing was just to see a South American copper mine in existence, and not think they were mostly anachronistic fantasies of Ayn Rand.

            1. He may have. Wasn’t the fake one in Mexico? I should reread it. Haven’t in years.

              1. People’s Republic of Mexico, technically. It’s pretty funny how Rand assumed the US would be the last country to turn it’s back on capitalism.

                That’s looking less and less likely.

                1. Which is why lefties have such a bug up their skirts about Rand.

        2. C. Living the good life. The nicest hotels in Orlando, and now, Chile. I hope you visit the biggest swimming pool in the world. That’s what I would do, because I’m tacky.

        3. I haven’t been to many places in South America but I totally fell in love with Buenos Aires. Despite even the weather there that was mostly bad during my visit.

          1. My wife tells me it’s beautiful. She was there a couple years ago. Judging by the pictures she took, I it does look very nice.

            Bad part, it’s in Argentina. So if you want to live there, just accept the fact that they may nationalize your assets at any given moment.

        4. I have heard good things about it. Also that it’s very cheap to live there.

    1. Shoosh. Teddy bears don’t talk.

    2. Tulpa is a sad sad man. I wouldn’t punch him in the face if we ever met, out of pity for him. Probably.

      1. I wonder how productive that would be. He gets punched in the face here every day, and it doesn’t seem to do any good.

        1. More like the rhetorical equivalent of a pillow slap.

          1. Am I going to have to have you indicted to get you to shut the fuck up unless you have something intelligent to say (which is likely to happen about never)?

    3. Irish, you’re just a sad precocious infant, and you’re jealous. Your sad in the same way Tulpa was sad when he figured out Playa was never gonna be his special, special bff. That they were never going to watch Sleepless in Seattle together while giving each other bikini waxes. You’re jealous because Virginia searched through the comments on H&R and picked the best, THE VERY BEST, to quote. That was me, NOT YOU.

      Now, run back to your girlfriend Molly Soda. I’m sure she wants to dampen your fur with tears and other damp things.

      1. Oh hello. I just planned us a trip to the largest swimming pool in the world. I hope you’re impressed.

        1. Well, okay, but make sure you get that bikini wax done because I like my fellas smooth.

          1. I’m 38 and what is this?

          2. Packing list
            -Semi transparent dress for 5 star dinners

            None of these things. I’m breaking up with you, because I think you’d be happier with a woman.

            1. But you promised me benefits. I DEMAND MY BENEFITS.

                1. I WAS PROMISED BENEFITS.

                  1. You’ll take nothing and like it.

                  2. You know he’s just going to pay you in Dogecoin, right?

                    1. JuggaloCoin

                    2. Believe it or not, there actually was one crypto called that. After its splash of publicity, it foundered. Peeps thought it was a scam.

                    3. I Googled to make sure it was JuggaloCoin and not JuggaCoin.

              1. I have one benefit. A robust man bush. I’m willing to go as low as #2 on the clippers for vacation. Any lower than that, and I get saltwater wing nut. Take it or leave it.

                1. This is a real disappointment and a deal breaker. We’re officially broken up because you’re obviously not willing to do what it takes to maintain both this relationship and your person in a reasonable manner.

                  Good day, sir.

                  1. I’ll take the remodel down to the studs just this once. As long as I get pics.

                    1. I said, good day, sir.

                    2. I’m going to study Ken’s link so I know how to respond to this.

          3. I thought you liked testosterone!?!?

            1. Nothing is sexier than a slopping neanderthal forehead combined with a completely hairless body.


              1. Wait…I’m hairless!
                *raises hand*

                1. It’s true. I saw a picture this morning.

                  1. No wonder Eddie doesn’t like you, you’re proof of evolution.

                1. The resemblance is startling.

          4. Well, okay, but make sure you get that bikini wax done because I like my fellas smooth.

            Are you a pedophile?

    4. Wholly shit!

    5. Looks like you haven’t lost the bluster and exaggeration tendencies yet. Oh my Allah, look at yourself, man.

      1. Dude, why do you do this? If you’re into pain and self loathing you should just flagellate in a darkened room.

        1. I don’t get why he goes to the trouble of using a different handle if he gets found out every stinking time.

            1. It thinks we’re playing hide & seek with it and just wants to feel found?

  3. “…some people, you know, cynically said that it was well liberals are now willing to defend because it’s a liberal professor who’s the the victim. I think that’s a little too cynical.”

    Yeah, as we’re seeing in the case of Tim Hunt, liberals in academia are very quick to defend the speech of even those whose ideas might be different from their own.

    And more importantly, if you know you’re going to be filming an interview, maybe run a comb through your hair. Rico will be no less dreamy to the ladies without the bed head.

    1. “Bed Head??”

      Sir, you do not know your coiffures

      That is some pure-breed bouffant shit right there my friend. In olden times they’d recognize him as the descendant of royalty. Its like a harelip, or missing earlobes, or inverted chins. Some people spend a fortune trying to imitate ‘bangs that grow upward’. the only other known living example is Conan O’Brien, but his is in fact an artificial transplant. Robby is the real deal. one in a million, dude. Its like an albino unicorn with doublejointed elbows.

      1. +1 Hugh Grant

        1. i lol’ed

          the example eluded me

          1. I like Hugh Grant because I once heard him tell an anecdote in an interview about how he was at a gas station somewhere in the US and a random guy came up to him and says, “Hey, you look like that Hugh Grant, no offense”

  4. See, I would pay 80 dollars to see this, but I wouldn’t spend a cent to see Zack de la Rocha.

    1. He’s not even the biggest dipshit in that band

    2. Jesus the diapered one shows some actual talent.

    3. Bummer. I totally expect to see twerking when I click an HM link.

      1. I refuse to be typecast.

        1. Well so far, all of your twerking links have been better than that link.

            1. 🙂

  5. But.

      1. ikans.

  6. Imagine a Walking Dead reboot but instead of zombies it’s Tulpas.

    1. How is that different?

      Show your work.

      1. Zombies likely smell better?

  7. Progressive college activists should be stuffed feet-first into a…time-out corner, so they can think about what they did.

    1. Preet Bharara knows what you really meant. 😛

      1. I have my eye on Eddie.

    2. A safe space! Where they will never face those nasty triggers ever again! With the, ah, portal to said safe space being cleanly powered by a lotta solar panels.

      After all, wo- whups, “gateways to happy safe places” are consumers of a lotta clean power. And dirtier stuff, like (for example) moving-parts lubricants.

      1. A padded room is a wonderful safe space.

  8. “San Francisco’s median rent hits a ridiculous $4,225”
    “We already knew the rent was too damn high,[…]”

    Nope, the rents are exactly right; EVERY rental unit gets rented.

    1. If I rented my house from myself at market rates, I wouldn’t be able to afford to live here.

      1. That’s true of a lot of folks in SF.
        It doesn’t help when one of the supervisors who nearly capsizes to port threatens to ‘put a moratorium’ on ‘market rate’ housing in the Mission district.
        Now, imagine you’re a developer who has to spend more than a year getting the various permits and approvals for your project, and now you read that some lefty twit can just declare you can’t build!
        Think maybe Oakland or South San Fran might sound like better places to build some housing?
        But the supervisor swears his efforts are intended to provide more ‘below market value’ housing!

        1. I imagine that those places aren’t much better. I used to hike the Oakland hills above the tunnel a lot. It was pretty clear that the only way a new house got built was if the old one burned down.

          1. So City is pretty good; Oakland is getting the overflow from SF, the prices are rising, and, horrors, some of Oakland is starting to gentrify, so the activists are coming out of the woodwork there.
            But in general, you’re right. You have to build quite a ways from SF to find it easy, which lefty policies produce the commuter traffic the lefties supposedly hate.
            Unintended, I’m sure.

            1. You have to build quite a ways from SF to find it easy, which lefty policies produce the commuter traffic the lefties supposedly hate.

              This applies pretty much everywhere.

            2. Ask why the hillsides of Napa (which are the best spot for grapevines) are largely unplanted, but the valley floor (which is better for potatoes) is covered with grapevines.

    2. Nah, lots of rent of rent controlled units are left offf the market, lest stinky renters fuck up the property.

      1. The units used to be converted back into single-family units or TICs or condos. Now, if someone vacates, they tend to get used for ABnB.
        Acquaintances in my hood are all in favor of rent control to make sure we have a ‘diverse’ population, but they just decided it’s just too much trouble to keep renting the place, so…

      2. “The Rent Is Too Damn Low!!”

        1. People who have benefited from the increases courtesy of rent control are not always those who have risked the capital to buy rental units.
          Quite a bit now goes to the ‘fixers’ who are accepted by the bureaucrats in the rent control agency to have ‘explained’ the rental contracts to the renters.
          As an owner, it behooves you to hire one of the fixers to contract with the new tenants to make sure that they can not later claim they ‘didn’t read that part of the contract’.
          AirBnB is thriving here for good reason.

    3. “Prices will find a way.”— Ian Malcolm

  9. Too many people thrive on creating drama where ever they go. It’s all fake drama which I suppose is better than real drama, but it still sucks.

    1. Too few people focus on the fact that she is a reverse centaur.

      1. Even if she was attractive, who would risk it.

      2. Is that the academic term for horseface?

        1. Why the long face?

            1. That woman could eat corn through a picket fence.

          1. Some of the girls on the right weren’t too bad.

            1. It’s amazing the url was readily available.

              1. Seems like a real moneymaker.

  10. F.E.E. comment-

    nicmart ? a day ago
    The subpoena is deplorable, and Reason’s comment pool is usually sewage.

    1. Who is nicmart and why should I care?

      1. I find it easier just to have a list of people who’s opinions I DO give a shit about. It’s very short and that dudes not on it.

          1. /sheds crocodile tear

    2. You ever get the feeling that all the people from Virginia Postrel to Ken White to most people who say this have never actually read the comments, and even if they have, it’s been incredibly cursory? You know, the way people always have an opinion about, say, Ayn Rand’s work even if they’ve never read it? Or they have an opinion about TV shows they’ve never actually watched?

      I mean, there’s no way these people would be social signaling. That never happens. Never.

      1. I believe that’s true for a large section, but I think there is a fair amount who have spent some time digging around here and never got the whole Zen Anarchy Church of the Subgenius Discordianism-y vibe of the place. So they earnestly take the whole thing at face value, because they, themselves, are so, so earnest.

        1. Blends in well with the video above. Too many precious snowflakes grossly offended by anything slightly resembling free thought. Fuck ’em. Get a thicker skin and a more open mind, ya know?

        2. I came for the cross-dressing and stayed for the insults.

            1. Ahh, those were the days.

        3. It’s all black, white and woodchippers to them.

        4. I’ve lurked here for a long time. I think I get most of the in-jokes and who’s who. I am occasionally earnest.

          BUT! (And I have a big but.)

          H&R’s quite mild by comparison to the Usenet groups I used to belong to and get in flame wars on (er, when I was young and single and had no husband and no kids and no moneypit-house).

          Maybe my humorometer is cranked up to filthy, but I don’t find this place to be any kind of cesspool at all, no offense.

      2. I dunno. Tulpa did a number 2 posts down. Ruined the whole fucking thread. Which was probably the point.

        1. No, it was not the point. I would like nothing more than to have an honest discussion of Hillary Clinton’s alignment with Obama’s policies.

          Aside from a few comments on the topic, unfortunately, I had to spend all of my effort responding to attacks against me. There’s a very easy way for you guys to keep that from happening and keep the threads on topic: don’t fuck with me and things will go a lot smoother.

          1. don’t fuck with me and things will go a lot smoother.


            Hey Tulpa, so how did it feel when you ratted us out? You never gave me an answer. Now why is that? Besides that you’re a pitiful, cowardly loser, I mean.

          2. Don’t fuck with you? Oh, Tulpa. You’ve slipped into joe levels of delusion.

            I hope your parents are dead. Having a son this pitiful would surely kill them.

          3. Do you know what make things go more smoothly? You fucking off once and for all.

            You’re already an intellectual cuckold. Make it official.

      3. “You ever get the feeling that all the people from Virginia Postrel to Ken White to most people who say this have never actually read the comments, and even if they have, it’s been incredibly cursory?”

        No. I think they’ve all read tons of comments here and their metaphorical testes have receded back into their abdomens because they are simply terrified of actually being associated with such “unregulated content”. because they’re “public people” and we are not.

        meaning = they know that the actual substance of what goes on the commentary is far more broad and ranges from awfulness…. to more-interesting analysis than the source-piece being commented upon.

        but there is absolutely no harm in shitting on your readers when the only people you’re trying to score points with is fellow writers and the people who book the occasional TV spot.

      4. You ever get the feeling that all the people from Virginia Postrel to Ken White to most people who say this have never actually read the comments

        Why would they specifically mention the comments section if they never read it? In the case of White he specifically contrasted it with the high quality of the articles.

        Not sure why I’m bothering, since this is obviously a defense mechanism to keep you from considering how cruddy the comments section has gotten in the past few years, and the part you personally have played in making that happen.

    3. Got a link there, Squirrely?

      1. Bing is your friend:
        It’s a reprint of the CEI article. And the nicmart quote is some commenter who prolly got called on bullshit here.

        1. “Yet, while the comments identified in the subpoena are undeniably vile”

          Is that so? Undeniably vile.

          Well, that’s that! It’s undeniable!

          1. Heroic Mulatto|6.13.15 @ 10:23PM|#
            “Yet, while the comments identified in the subpoena are undeniably vile”

            Some other article had us as “assholes”, I presume because we call people names here, right?

            1. Worse. We treated the author’s particular hobbyhorse without the gravity he or she feels it deserves.

              1. “We treated the author’s particular hobbyhorse without the gravity he or she feels it deserves.”

                ‘I really support free markets, but those GMOs…’
                ‘I really support free speech, but hate speech…’
                I think you’re on to something.

                1. I’ve coined the term ‘libertybuts’ for this phenomenon.

                  1. “I’ve coined the term ‘libertybuts'”

                    I will suggest a change to ‘libertybutts’, since it better connotes those who do so. And still credit HM with the coinage.

              2. Most stories are just the same story over and only the names have changed. Eventually treating them all with any gravity at all just gets boring and the memes take over. It’s a natural progression.

                1. Indeed. Not to mention that while the boat is capsizing, some choose the futility of trying to bail out the water, some fall over themselves running for the lifeboats while others, well, we’re in the ballroom having a grand old time while we can.

                  I ask you which group is the wisest?

            2. Notorious vile assholes. I like the sound of that.

            3. Well, that’s on you. You could use some soap washing in the mouth.

              1. I usually have to pay extra for that

        2. There’s a little used sentence. Anyway Google failed me so Bing won this one. Though I’ll probably still kill it in the morning.

          1. I find the maps ‘compete’ and I win.
            Sometime Google is better, others Bing.

            1. You like maps, eh?

              Let’s see what you got:

    4. All that means to me, is they visit damn few comment pools.

    5. ” Reason’s comment pool is usually sewage.”

      Maybe, but it’s not pretentious sewage. There are a few blogs I read but would never become a frequent commenter on them because they’re full of elitist bores.

      1. it’s not pretentious sewage

        “I would never read elitist bores!” – Reason elitist bore

        ::drunkenly stumbles out of chair, falls out open window::

        1. oh, I read them. I just know I’d turn into a troll if I commented. So instead I’m just a lurking elitist bore wannabe troll.

          1. but it’s better than going full troll

            1. never always go full troll

    6. To be fair, most of the comments are supportive.

      1. Yeah, I feel like if you consider Reason comments to be bad then you’re probably in some kind of ivory tower internet bubble and haven’t viewed 98% of the web. YouTube would be a good example of a comment section where virtually everyone is like a troll in training.

        1. And Yahoo.

        2. ” if you consider Reason comments to be bad then you’re probably in some kind of ivory tower internet bubble and haven’t viewed 98% of the web”

          exactly. same point above. The internet is such shitclogged sewer, that to distinguish this place as *worse*? is to be pretentiously, willfully oblivious.

            1. This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!

            2. I don’t think Postrel was ever shocked.

              Just very disappointed in us.

              1. Man, our failure really hits home now that you put music to it.

            3. Whoa. Did you have to post a close up?

              1. I tried to find a pic of the stick up her butt, but…

                It’s too far up there to be visible without an x-ray.

          1. In case anyone missed it the first time I linked it:The Internet erupts into a flame war during a debate over the ethics of Arthur punching his little sister DW which somehow turns also turns into a debate over Truman’s decision to use nuclear weapons against Japan


            DW deserved it, she provoked him, and hell, every episode of the show she did something to provoke Arthur or someone else, and basically never got consequences for anything she did. I get that there’s supposed to be this moral message but frankly I just wanna see someone kick her in the face next. Short of Scrappy Doo and possibly Lisa Simpson I can’t think of a more annoying fictional character

            +The10HourMan Violence doesn’t teach anyone a lesson, it doesn’t solve anything or change anyone’s mind. Violence is subjugation it its most brute form, it has a place for important things war maybe, but not to straighten some guy out. It’s super cliche I know but it makes sense for a reason. +King Julien XIII – you are a tool.

            SlayerSamTheBeast 4 months ago
            I agree holy shit, people can’t just expect to be complete dicks and not get hit in the mouth for it.

            1. Oh YouTube…

              I used to watch Arthur with my little sister, is it still on or is the internet just discovering it now?

              1. Arthur lives!

                But that link was more about Millenial nostalgia. (How the fuck is that a thing already?)

                1. I’ve noticed that’s a thing, but I don’t like to partake too much. I haven’t lived enough.

                2. Could it be fed the link into your woodchipper?

      2. Francisco d’Anconia|6.13.15 @ 10:39PM|#
        “To be fair, most of the comments are supportive.”

        That’s the reason I mentioned that the quote was an individual commenter. And for all we know, it’s someone who had their hat handed to them here.

  11. Here’s something that Warty and Epi will useful because of their special………needs.

    Super Lubricant!

      1. Yes. We know.

      2. But does it taste like bacon?


        1. I suppose that on certain days, it does.

  12. Oh hells yes. My 100% teff flour injera was a stunning success, with nearly a full cup of sourdough starter on reserve in the freezer.

    And what’s the deal with a little turdlette of spicy stew costing $15 a pop at Ethiopian/Eritiran restaurants?

    1. Well, you’re paying about a buck fifty for the stew and 14.50 to subsidize the cook’s qat habit.

      1. And speaking of qat, not signifies how much of a farce the War on Drugs is when qat is a fucking Schedule I drug; whereas, morphine, cocaine, and meth are Schedule II.

        1. Ugh I saw that before too. It’s a fucking joke.

          I guess we’ll have to resort to snorting berbere.

  13. Your single and only tool that interfaces with a short life at the feet of practical infinity on the star rivers will not be fed at the altar of education in the modern world. No Bertrand Russel’s or Whitehead’s exist to teach our children. Perhaps, the ivy-crept facades of billionaires and restricted assholes living tight-lipped on ancient brick streets perpetuate bland and decrepit visions while they draw pensions and milquetoast dreams for their pupils.

    The resulting stream of modern college flows over rivers of alcohol in southern straits, bikinis, and simplistic rituals from the dorm to the goddamn professor desk.

    Man, I am a motherfucking boozer and, perhaps, a drughead, but, I am fucking living life beyond my screaming tiny years, man. I booze and get fucked up because I earned my forest vikings, man. But the young get fucked up and don’t study history in depth. Get fucked up and live philosophy my young eels. Understand that Nietszche is also fucked up but brilliant and not necessarily correct but amazing nonetheless. FUCK HEGEL. Read every single word Russel Bertrand ever wrote. Period. And always hang on the best motherfucking website on the entire motherfucking thing Sir Tim Berners-Lee ever created.

    The best minds will post in Reason threads. Period.

    1. We are all of us in the gutter.
      But some of us are looking at the stars.
      –Oscar Wilde

      1. Most Stars are dead, Mr. Wilde. Those of us in the gutter are still partying, nigga.

        1. And yet we can still see their light.

    2. “Read every single word Russel Bertrand ever wrote.”

      “Bertrand Russell, In Praise of Idleness and Other Essays
      The Case for Socialism”

      I’ll pass on some, thanks.

    3. Man, you worked both Russell and Whitehead into one post.

      If you jumped into a woodchipper it would spit out a million little Agile’s singing with the might of a thousand doped up Angels.

      “The only simplicity to be trusted is the simplicity to be found on the far side of complexity. The only joy to be trusted is the joy on the far side of a broken heart; the only life to be trusted is the life on the far side of death.” -Alfred North Whitehead

    4. The best minds will post in Reason threads. Period.

      Some of the best minds. Don’t be so closed minded AC.

  14. I hate to see old ladies burn in hell. Man, who could believe in the fucking something that would burn goddamn old ladies into human puddles or reward assassins with adorable virgins for killing these old ladies. Fuck your sniveling bully gods, you screwy world I’m trapped on.

      1. The smashing Hero has spoken-

  15. My fucking face just wants to eat a millions rainbows of smashing love tongues. The universe has nothing to say without the human tongue.

    A fucking smidgen of dust on the plains of stars holds minds that express the infinity of the stars…

    Without this dungeon of fighting bullshitters with their little alleys of brilliant mind hither and overland… stars would die a billion years without a single notice.

    The universe is not real. It is not a garden of responsive stems and blossoms. It smashes and threads and strings and procreates mindlessly with its parallel family. But in this fucking quadrant these fucking people like stars you bitching universe and these fucking filthy dying motherfuckers love your orbits, bitch.

  16. A fucking bomb burst from my forehead and my brain splattered all over my dick and I came a trillion sperm, man. This happened after I ate a fucking pussy not 4 hours ago.

    1. Coincidence? I think not.

  17. is an os.

  18. is hasn’t been invented yet… we have os. explanaton for that shit above

  19. Why is a free society imprisoning anyone aside from child rape and murder? Why are we filling thousands of feet of corporate cement structures with drug dealers, users, and smugglers while we create bombs and munitions that eradicate thousands and millions of humans ‘legally’ over not agreeing with us?

    1. Just one more Tulpa sock. Smh.

  20. Tornado stars are a bitch on the brain when they coagulate on hyperdimensional jet streams when the sun ejaculates? Man, I did not fuckin know the goddamn sun ejaculates… shit what the fuck. man

  21. It’s hard for me to imagine whose sensibilities are being deferred to by the asterisk in this post’s headline.

    1. Brits.

      “U” is their vowel, and we North Americans sho*ldn’t appropriate it.

      1. I identify with grime more than any other musical genre. Don’t outher me!

  22. I was sitting on a log today and I noticed a sweet little toad hopped by )and it is very difficult to type but I am doing so for no other reason than I really am not fucking sure but I am feversishly self-correcting so I dont offfend the pedants(

    so this little toad hopped by and I inquired of his journey, man. and he looked at me lovingy and I petted his tiny white belly and turned the little fuck about to roll into my woods and he or she looked back at me with love and gobbled his or her little throat and hopped into the shiny vegetation and I’m like shit… ok.. man I guess I get the organic voice of this place man….

    I am seriously tripping right now and this shit happened and this little sweet toad made me notice a human interest experience…. we live super rural and I fucking hope one of youfucking fuckers don’t notice this but around my corner a sweet old man set up about ten years ago a rec vehicle on a corner plot a country block from his family.. bro was prob 65 when he set this up and I and all these bitches in this county never complained as we should NOT like normal merica

    1. So fucked up… so a bunch of us in the fucking county did not care for an old brother generally fucking with rules that most socieities rural or otherwize would not have tolerated- fuck them….

      back to reality… we raised a family on this red-headed old man and his wife over the years visiting Ohio in the back fields…. and a year ago… the red-headed old man set up a smaller and quiet recreation space… the wife and I paused and noticed and i cried.

      1. The red-headed old man on the free corner breaking all the rules with neighbors who get the fucking fuck what’s going down….

        he flies planes above the corn alone now…

        I wave to him always.

        He brought us a little poodle deep in the woods because he thought we lost it.

        I plan on stopping by this year and meeting the old red-headed man.

        He will die soon.

        And his empty corner will kill my heart for a sweet time of reverence.

        1. How could Virginia Postrel possibly be disappointed in Agile?

          1. Rufus J. Firefly|6.13.15 @ 11:36PM|#
            “How could Virginia Postrel possibly be disappointed in Agile?”

            Too much swearing!

    2. AC, you’re like the EB White of the 21st century

      1. lap83, love your Illinois volcano.

        1. Thanks?

          Some EB White quotes:

          Deathlessness should be arrived at in a… haphazard fashion. Loving fame as much as any man, we shall carve our initials in the shell of a tortoise and turn him loose in a peat bog.

          Be obscure clearly.

          We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, even if it is only picking grapes or sorting the laundry.

          1. Volcano doesn’t occur in Illinois…

            Lap83 transcends biology

  23. Humans like to enjoy hovels made from logs because massive spectrums of power turn us on and relax us.

    Massive trees appeal to humans as towers or as homes because clouds are power and earth cocks fucking space called massive trees as redwoods or the lesser others turn humans on….

    And my fucking fingers state this with respect to the great trees, man. I respect trees. I’m no FUCKING hugger but I respect fucking hundreds of years, man. I own property and sold big oaks and I cried in the alleys of thorns when I did and no one knows this but I”m fucke dup… I cried when they pulled the big boys out… but the young children trees cannot thrive when grandpa’s wings cover the sun.

    1. but the young children trees cannot thrive when grandpa’s wings cover the sun

      Grandpa Al Gore. What a dick.

    2. the young children trees cannot thrive when grandpa’s wings cover the sun.

      OT, but where my mind went: Hatchet, axe, and saw

      Dude, I read every word you write.

  24. Is a road to anywhere worth traveling?
    Are roads worth anywhere?
    Is travel asphalt or neuron?
    Is neuron smashface cuntfucking?
    or do dicks fuck planet asses in the stars

    Do stars have dicks and are dicks stray?
    Is the universe a huge cunt and are cunts huge and seeking stars?
    the world is an intersecting keyboard of qualms and quasars and bullshit
    and when the strange folds reveal the lines of fucking stars wish they
    could date planets? seriously/ what the fuck?

    Stars dating planets?
    Man i don’t evenfucking know

  25. The waves beneath our asses run a trillion miles beneath our smiling sun.

  26. Time is dark
    Time is clever
    Time is macho
    Time is sexy

    Time wants a cigarette

  27. I get all your socialist bullshit mind-control Harvard, MIT, Berkely bullshit..

    Problem is.

    out here… there are swamps of thought who REALLY don’t give a single FUCKING shit about your social experiments, man. You and your billion dollar ad campaigns supported by socialist American Feds…

    FUCK YOU AND SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING COCK, you simple-minded FUCK Washingtonians parasites.

    I will booze. I will do COKE when I want. I WILL get HIGH when I want. I WILL resist your motherfucking lame ass shit everywhere I can…. FUCK YOU, FEDERAL (NOT AMERICAN) GOVERNMENT!


    The Federal Government is an institution of civilian control and abuse.

    AMERICAN government respects civil liberties and the future.

    The Federal Government USING American ideals for its own tyrannical strategies is like ISIS with a cute patriotic tea-party flavor.

    AMERICAN governance RESPECTS FUCKING citizen privacy.
    AMERICAN governance UNDERSTANDS that dictatorship starts in. CONGRESS. and REJECTS these filthy fucks accordingly.

    AMERICA! RISE UP! Be the BEST place on planet earth ever. and let us dissolve the federal government where it is not needed… Period. The American federal government is too powerful and it must be minimized. Slowed. Corrected.

    Let us, Reason and the greatest minds here, create a new America….

  29. i ran a million miles into a tiny crack and my arm exploded with blood river and i made a boat from reeds and I ran on the river of my own blood and then my dick turned into a milliondully buggs…. dully buggs are voodoo vaginas and my brain was hooked by a voodoohookand I my eyeball spilled billions of cum and preachers

  30. modern time
    is awkawrd
    alone but universal

    universal is not a bible
    and bible is not right
    ethics run greater than surface

    in modern world
    ethics are nonplussed
    and not found
    on aggregates////

    the world made a million horrible hamburgers humans loved
    humans cannot make
    real work or modified
    or b e normal

    normal is you and me
    life of you and me resists
    cable corporation and SHOULD
    reject a billion mathematics in
    the thousands of suburbs with the
    same FUCKING businesses selling
    books, videos, and hamburgers to us.

    Why do we like franchises so much?
    Because we love government.

    1. AC is an original. Try to search this. I got Aziz Ansari, The Bible, Bill O’Reilly, McDonald’s, and Florence Henderson.

      I would say this is insane, but AC usually has a point. You just have to read him. And it’s no different here. I just want to know how to reach the plane of existence AC lives on. It is a goal I will never reach. Really, the best I could ever do is approximate the euphoric highs of a drunken bender evading the Harelip that lurks behind the dive bar we all know.

  31. colors off my skin flept and screwed time
    this jointed connection of lights and time and thoughts and man,

    dude, here we go… trip into old brain..
    the strings smack barns in the planets …

    man, have aliens aside from our human counterparts felt horror.?

    I felt a strange pulse….

    Why is our leadership filled with…. boring DUMB FUCKS?
    From republican to democrat

    MOST of these simpleminded fucks are.



    The future living in the stars requires alternative rivers forcing life into the moons and suns… let us break into the lights of the planets and glowing cousins… and make new homes in the planets

  32. the white holes of a single monitor
    trap me in this shit and i will dance
    with prince and and prince will dance with me

    supergreat shit rolling on these screens and prince man
    so fuck prince I actually am trapped in my own goddanm bullshit.

    prince is a dick- fuck prince…. tryingo to revoke this blomblimblqm
    FUCK PRINCE! prince is talented but the bitch has a tiny brain.. man… so
    my face is fucked up on drugs and booze which means my FUCKING brain is tiny like prince and we all know how much FUCKING money TINY brains make………………… like prince and no name schmucks….

    1. Mr. DOJ, are you enjoying the Cyborg? Just unclinch your fist, loosen those furrowed brows and gut the wisdom.

      1. There is nothing voluntary about one’s reaction to the almighty AC.

        1. Mr. DOJ, you’ve been given an excuse. Follow the directive.

          1. Ride the rainbow from Pluto to the next Solar System and experience pussy and cock glorification from the almighty AC. Did I explain this properly?

  33. So when I was a child I fought this goddamn dragon
    and when I fought this dragon that had escaped from my girlfriends mind
    my teenage dick got hard and my face clawed for holes to deposit my
    teenage dick into and………….Melissa sat on the upper hallway in front of the
    bathroom in 1991 and her pants slipped past her lips and my young cock asked
    to enter and Melissa in the tight black pants nodded yes and I slipped my cock into her
    and my brain tripped on lsd and pcp and roads and young Melissa nodded peacefully
    while her young vagina peed streams of love all over oak halls.

    1. My baby sitter in 1991 was my best friend’s older brother. He was pretty cool. He played guitar and had a 2 door jeep cherokee when he turned 16.

  34. so a reason picnic on papa sexy belly button tonight….
    little tough lion eat your fucking goddamn cheesecake
    and small queen pride queen eat your goddamn cheesecake
    and all those other bitches that eat humans… eat your goddamn cheesecake

    1. AC’s belly button is The Cheesecake Factory. No wonder people can’t stop entering.

      1. clever ass bullshit name, lover

        1. Clever bullshit is my pride, darling. You, on the other hand, are the poet emeritus of Reason. And yet, we all know you are the straightest motherfucker here. I want to know your secrets. And late at night on a Saturday is the best time to beg.

          1. I mean straightest in the most honest way.

  35. branches seek ghosts on screen hostels and deep ip
    when lightning underneath oakland
    makes Cali fall into the ocean…

    Shaking. shaking.

    big towers and studios falling

    big fucking waves hitting those FUCKING dumbasses past englewood and into UTAH.

    Shit earthquake will ticktock allya niggas and white bitchass niggas….

    earthquake will roll, bros.

    1. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says “Give me your best shot. I can take it.”

  36. I tried LSD twenty years ago while in Amsterdam. Got lost because I randomly started following a 7 foot 200lb bald guy clad in all black pushing a baby carriage. Often wondered what happened to that baby.

    1. What if it was the baby you visiting the future?

  37. Cali falls
    palms fall

    Cali falls
    money cries

    Cali falls
    America worships

    Cali falls
    time to find a new Cali

    Fucking Cali
    found deep sea on a scavenger crack

    Cali can slip into the deep, right
    Cali is a middle finger to the universe
    balance on plate tectonics very strangely

    the big one? yeah.
    Cali will get hit worse
    cuz I know an artist prophet
    that painted her final doom

    Cali will fall to Big Pappa.

  38. so this apparent world embranges the musclutaforces of this plains
    and as my face enjoys the lovely interjectomoidals of the current brothers offering their versions of monsters
    onto this field of white waving stars man… dude, my mind trapped me into a hudge otherwold godamn wanga winga od


    ffuck man
    oh shit…….

    I am on a voyage into the famished and dead and violins…

  39. man, this is real… I am going on a ride..

    dude….. i hear the music and waves and shit and i can move myfingers rightnow

    dude… do you hear the trumpets? I am going on a ride, bro….. for real the times in clouds call and click anc lclccaackand waamba and wimbaoooandondanmmduiidfff…diidi’ losing my ship pullup and I
    LOVE my reasonbut i must goiinto thats slivery

    1. Please let me at least throw a tow lion onto the back your ship. I want to experience the least of your reality.

  40. “F*cked”? What, we can’t say fuck here?

    1. Fuck no

  41. Preet prosecutes kicker – wood chipper not in evidence. But a foot was involved.


  42. Harry Reid is a national treasure

    Charles and David Koch adamantly oppose the Export-Import Bank. Or, I should say, they do now. They weren’t always anti Ex-Im. Just like most other businesses in America, Koch Industries is always looking for new markets for its goods. That means exports, and the Koch brothers are all for exports. How could they not be? After all, the Koch business got its start by selling its services to Joseph Stalin and the U.S.S.R.

    He’s truly a smear merchant. Still wearing those dark glasses, Harry? The Vegas mob really did a number on you, huh? Either the mob or a family member which maybe the same thing.

    1. You know who else provided services to the USSR…..

      1. Coca Cola?

      2. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg?

    2. Sure. We make Hitler references, and we’re a bunch of clownish brats. He makes a Stalin reference, and…well, bad example.

  43. My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My neighbour’s sister has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
    try this site ????? http://www.workweb40.com

  44. What a headline! Intriguing! But nothing is new, I guess. We know this well, but somehow we tend not to say it out loud. I don’t think that forbidding American Sniper will somehow save our younger generation. They are already so messed up. I’ve see the movie and it touched my soul so deeply. I have no idea why there is such a buzz about it and students. I would want them to see this. I would want them to know at what cost their peace I earned. Maybe they will realize that life is a bit more than skipping school and turning here for review help. I want them to look around and begin value what they have!

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